#honestly I really like the potential plot if you do the route with the cop being involved;

[alexandriteobscuraarchive]

((Yeah no one touch me.))

((I still have...some hope despite what happens right after this. I love the divergences of this game.))

[lorahgames]

Collar x Malice: Full Review

Console: Nintendo Switch

Total Play Time: 60 hours

Lorah Game Rating: 9.5/10

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I finally did it; I stuck with one single otome game, and finished it up!

Although CxM is my first blog post, I am not new to otome. I like to think I have a fair bit of experience to chalk up a decent review about these games, so this is my go at it!

SYNOPSIS: Collar x Malice takes place in a quarantined Shinjuku, Japan, where citizens live in fear of Adonis, a criminal organization that believes it will revitalize Japan with its own warped sense of justice and judgement. The story begins when Ichika Hoshino, a rookie cop, is attacked and has a poisonous collar placed around her neck by Adonis, who declare they are testing her as they believe she has potential to be one of their sympathizers. Ichika must now work with a group of ex-cops to discover the truth behind the Adonis crimes and to remove her collar.

TIME TO BEGIN THE REVIEW!

I was absolutely blown away by Collar x Malice. Don't get me wrong, I love all the otome games I play, but this one topped the charts for me. I am very, very particular when it comes to what I like and dislike about otome. I absolutely can't stand when the story is boring, but also don't like when the plot takes away from the romances with the love interests. I think CxM has perfected the balance of story-to-romance. I found myself both wanting to solve the mystery of the game while also loving the time I got to spend with each of the LIs. Of course, some routes I found better than others, but that's to be expected! I genuinely enjoyed each of the LIs and what they had to offer. Usually, there will be a LI or two I'm not too fond of, but let me say, all these boys have replay-ability. I will be revisiting this game again.

My first impressions were so-so; they are almost always completely based off of the LIs' designs (lol, a little bit shallow but what can you do). I definitely had preferences towards Yanagi and Okazaki initially. I was indifferent to Sasazuka, and did not feel like I would enjoy Enomoto and Shiraishi all that much. But let me tell you this.

DON'T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER. PLS.

Mineo Enomoto

Honestly, I played this man first to get him over with. LOL. I hate to say it now. Enomoto gave off middle school vibes, and it wasn't for me in the beginning. BUT. He really grew on me! Honestly, for being THAT character, you know, the one with no experience with girls, it ended up being super cute. Once you got past the eyepatch thing, he was truly a really good guy and it was adorable to see his relationship develop with Ichika. Definitely not a story heavy chapter, and was a great light introduction to the game, especially with how the game gets darker later on. Enomoto wasn't my favourite, but I still am excited to play his after-story in CxM unlimited.

Takeru Sasazuka

Oh, Sasazuka. Your route was great.

This man was a tsundere if I've ever seen one. He was curt, he was rude, but he was such a good LI. I actually found Sasazuka's backstory to be really good, especially the role it plays in the plot. He had MEGA character development from the beginning of the route to finish. It was lovely to see him fall so hard for Ichika, who he had been calling stupid cat for half the game. Not to mention, Sasazuka's CGs are FINEEEE. I hit that Switch screenshot button a few times. Funny enough, when I went to go play Yanagi's route it didn't register my completion of Sasazuka's, so I actually had to play his route twice. Of course, I sped through most of the dialogue, but I did find myself stopping to replay and read the cute moments between him and Ichika. I enjoyed them as much as I did the first time. I really enjoyed both LI and plot in this route.

Kageyuki Shiraishi

I played Shiraishi's route fourth. At this point, I had a good gist of how the story was flowing, but I did NOT expect the plot twist of Shiraishi's route! I was hesistant to even play Shiraishi at all, because long-haired men (not to mention the cat aesthetic he has going on) aren't usually my thing. Personally, I loved the route's plot more than I did the romance with Shiraishi. This isn't me saying he was bad, but his story was so well done, it's hard to not like it more. I found with Shiraishi, he was slightly overhyped in online reviews. A lot of people say Shiraishi is their favourite from the game, but he wasn't mine. I think I went in with my expectations a bit too high, especially after how much I loved Okazaki's route. At the climax of his route, I felt things were a bit rushed because I was confused as to what was going on, but it was such a minor confusion that I figured things out pretty quickly. Again, I'm really looking forward to playing his after-story!

Aigi Yanagi

It took forever to finally get to Yanagi's route. Honestly at the point I finally got to play his route, he has been a side character for so long that it was hard not to see him that way (LOL, sorry Yanagi!). One thing I was surprised about was that Yanagi's route really put romance on the back-burner and put the story in the front. I get it, since Yanagi's route was the big reveal and finale, and honestly it really worked for the overall story. It's not like Yanagi's route wasn't romantic, but it was a little hard to focus on him when you could feel the Adonis leader's identity reveal just around the corner. Yanagi also had the longest route, with seven chapters instead of six. I would say he got some of the best CGs of the game, probably since he is the poster child of CxM. The whole Yanagi backstory is absolutely fantastic as well, and they did a really good job diving deep into his character.

Kei Okazaki

Of course, I had to leave Okazaki for last. Okazaki is by far my favourite Collar x Malice LI and may quite literally be overtaking Toma (Amnesia) for the top spot of them all. I knew I would love Okazaki from the start and I was right. I love his character design, the voice acting, aloof personality, route story, EVERYTHING. While I would not classify Okazaki as any sort of yandere (my favourite trope), he checked all the boxes I usually look for in my LIs (self-sacrificing, obsessive, etc). His entire life outlook changed after getting close with Ichika, and was it ever emotional seeing him go though all that inner turmoil. Let me tell you, this man had me RUNNING to Collar x Malice Unlimited for more. The amount of times he popped up in Yanagi's route made me want to just go replay his route again. Not to mention, his tragic love ending has to be the best in the game. I accidently got it by misclicking, but holy crap?? The CG was crazy! And once you get the tragic love end, you get the bonus CG, which also happens to be my favourite from the game. Anyway, this game has left me an Okazaki fan through-and-through, as well as clogged up my Switch library with screenshots of his face. I could say A LOT more, but trying to leave this spoiler-free for friends who potentially want to play.

Kei best boy <3

Do I recommend Collar x Malice? Of course!

The game really hits both the story component and romance component, and I definitely got my money's worth with over 60 hours of gameplay. Of course, there are some minor bugs (looking at you, Sasasuka route) where dialogue seems to be misplaced or the self-inserted name still comes up as Ichika, but believe me, this was so minor and infrequent that I don't think it affected the overall quality of the game.

I am actually sad that the game is over! I'm scared to finish Unlimited too, because what will I do then?!

Overall, Collar x Malice definitely left a lasting impression on me and has become one of my favourite otome. I had a blast playing it and will definitely be back to do it all again. I hope I can break free of my habit of comparing every LI to my favourite, because Okazaki will be hard as hell to beat.

Thanks for reading my review !

LORAH

[ziptie-bouquet]

Alright. So. The Bioshock Infinite issue.

I haven't completed the game but I doubt it'll do a 180 to completely change its politics at this point. (Long post so I added a cut!)

I went into the game and immediately recognized the "Bioshock tm" lack of subtlety and depth when dealing with serious political issues. It has been plaguing all the games in the series. But still, I had an optimistic mindset. I told myself that even if it lacked nuance, racism is a very important issue to bring awareness to.

Something that bothered me with the shallow takes on chauvinism and racism in this game is that it portrays them as things of the past. It doesn't help that they're so exaggerated. It doesn't have the bite of things you can actually still see today. It's not pervasive, it takes the idea that bigotry is only ever bigotry if it's blatant hatred to the extreme.

I think that, like the two other games, it has a very rich environment and potential. DeWitt's involvement with the Native Americans genocide could have genuinely been an extremely compelling plot point had it not be relegated to some sort of INDIVIDUAL guilt. His native american heritage is just a small detail within the tapes. The pride his old sergent has about killing tribes that he could be a descent of is never fully confronted, and you even get encouraged to treat him with kindness and mercy.

I'm honestly waiting for this to get expanded on, but it's the reason why I was in denial for so long about what had happened with the revolutionaries later in game. He's still a guy who was part of a genocide and has not fully confronted it out loud. He's unreliable and I would not trust his takes on racism.

With that in mind, I make my way to Finkton. As soon as I get there, I start killing every cop I see without even getting told to do so by the game. I think I might have missed a fuck ton of scripted animations and dialogues by doing this. The game very strongly established the people there are slaves, and are constantly under the surveillance of the cops I just killed.

I am hyped as shit as soon as the revolution rolls out, but DeWitt's first comment about how "Fitzroy and Comstock are the same besides the names" worried me at first. No worries, I tell myself, surely the game will be smart about it! Surely it will be about how DeWitt is wrong and Elizabeth is gonna teach him he has internalized racism from genociding indigenous people.

Then both him and Elizabeth make this comment again. The game HAS to give Daisy a completely out of character moment to even make killing the black female revolution leader seem like a sensible thing to do. It HAS to make the revolutionaries you kill almost all white after this to prevent you from seeing the obvious racism of what you're doing (alongside resource minmaxing I imagine). I went from being hopeful this will be a just and nuanced tale about confronting your own biases to seeing the game is going to be the weakest lib shit ever. Genuinely going down the route of "all violence is bad :(". They have the absolute gall to do this after literally breaking time and space to bring a revolutionary back to life because he was a POLITICAL PRISONER and got brutally murdered by white supremacists. (Also its fucking hilarious I can kill cops in the hundreds but when the oppressed minority wants to then its some horrible terrible thing)

I don't know, this was a lot of words to not say a lot but it's 7 am and I'm still in shambles I cannot believe they did this. Did nobody proofread the script?? How did this even get published?? Why is it so critically acclaimed??

I am really hoping it'll do a 180 but god am I doubtful.

( @solsono Je te réponds avec un poste à cause de la limite de caractères + en anglais pour les gens qui passent devant mais merci!)

[bloodsuckingprince-anthony]

I have to say, I really enjoying Laws of Attraction. I really do. This book makes it up for PB to give up on heavy potential books like Distant Shores and Foreign Affairs. (The tragedy they did to those books even tho I still like them. Side Note: Slow Burn is a great book too) It feels like whoever the team is behind this book actually took their time to stay on course with the plot, characters have well placed personalities...it's just outstanding so far. This is a prime example of how Open Heart should had been. (Not to talk about that messy book.)

I even love all the characters.

The MC: There have been some incompetent MC's that makes me want to choke them, but this one I like.

Gabe Ricci: Sorry but not actually sorry Ethan and Sam stans but Gabe to me is a perfect written boss. He is much more chill. He recognizes MC's work ethnics unlike Ethan who belittles the MC, keep their relationship a secret, and doesn't appreciate the MC until the third book when the MC had to save his ass from a huge lawsuit. And Sam who would risk everything and destroy his/her home for the nanny. Like, I love the slow burn with him and MC. Like he knows he want MC but he want to focus on the case and I can respect that. Especially, if he's your route, It looks like MC is the one who perusing Gabe and when Gabe is fighting to not cross that taboo line, MC goes to have these random hookups. The angst and drama is keeping me interested. And I know it is working because I see people in the fandom PISSED that Gabe isn't dicking them down yet. Lol. I love it.

Ashlinn: What a sweet angel. She is perfect wifey material. I love how she started as a quiet nervous person and by each chapter, she grows into a much more confident woman. That chapter with the actors and she placed Beau in his lane, I lived. If she was my type, I would romanced her with my MC. Maybe in my next run of the book.

Beau: Ok I knew Beau would be that fuckboy character just because he has family ties to the firm. Typical frat boy. I knew we would hate him, especially after he took credit from MC's hard work, but again the character development of him to be more serious just make me like him. He earned extra points for taking the heat for MC and the rest of the team in today's chapter. I would loved if he was an LI option.

Martin: I know he supposed to be the villain and be this "I'm better than you" jackass but I can't be mad at him. Again the character development. He's trying to stay snarky but he's slowly warming up to the team. It's cute that he thinks he's MC's rival, but we all know. But real tip, the man needs to be laid. MC would help.

Gigi: Sis! Queen! Ride or die! I. LOVE. THIS. WOMAN! Just her everything is just god tier. I know she mentioned a girlfriend in the beginning of the book, but what would it been if our wlw sisters get to romance her? The dynamic between them would be powerful. (I wish my MC could romance her. I'll put a ring on that finger fast.)

Sadie: Boss ass bitch. I like her. I seen people upset that she yelled at the team in the chapter, even tho it is the team's fault to give Marcus information before them. Honestly, they could had waited to tell Marcus after they notify Gabe and Sadie. I've even seen folks on here saying "She does nothing for the case but judge" that's the point. She literally put trust in the case in Gabe and the team's hands and Gabe keep her up to date about it. So she has all the right. Plus, she the type to like it when people go for what they want. I saw comments about when Mac requested a room by the lake at her home. Sadie expressed the expression "Closed mouths don't get feed" and I kinda respect her for that.

Marcus: Yeah I dig this character because I can relate to him. As a black man myself, I get why he don't be too comfortable with lawyers. In RL, it is so hard for black people to trust the justice system. There would be so much evidence that proves that you're innocent but the police would do the bare minimum or none at all policing because they made up their minds that you did it. Then there would be slimy lawyers that tells you to plea guilty because you can't win. So I can understand why Marcus acting this way. Yes, he should believe in this team more, but I understand where he is coming from. (Sorry that I put real issues in this lol) Now to the juicy topic. I knew Marcus wanted MC since that walk they did in a couple of chapters before. And yes it is so unprofessional and unethical for a lawyer to sleep with their clients. But, did I spend the night with him regardless? Yes. Yes I did. To be fair, Marcus asked MC for comfort and relief. MC never showed any interest in Marcus or perused him. He ASKED out of trust. So to me this part got me actually thinking. Should my MC give in to him so he can keep the trust in MC or MC turn him down and he would change his perspective of MC later down the road. Either or I feel like consequences is going to happen and as I am an angst trash, I went and gave Marcus the night of his life. If it's not your cup of tea (Again shout out to the wonderful wlw ladies out there) totally understandable. But I like Marcus. If he becomes a potential LI which it looks like then Gabe has some serious competition because I might switch up.

The Hookups: I enjoy them. I like Lisa (The Robin sprite I think is her name in this book. I can't remember. How awkward it is to be playing The Nanny Affair while playing this book because of Robin/Lisa) And Tyler. Yes my MC did do that mlm threesome with Tyler and the PI (who name I also forgot). Yes MC gave the PI that good dick while Tyler watched. I feel robbed slightly that my MC didn't dick down Teddy after we made out with him in the club but the threesome made up for it. These hookups wouldn't happen if Gabe and Ashlinn isn't giving us this wonderful slow burn romance. But I enjoyed it.

Overall, I really like this book. I say this book is A tier. It has it moments like the group trust trip..that was weird but still. A tier. Close but not S tier like Blades. (That book is *chef kiss* Closer we are to the what will be insanity that is Blades 2 and I can not wait!) I hope this is the same team that is doing Crimes of Passion. (The acronym of Crimes of Passion is CoP...I see what they did there.) That book screams LoA's spin off. But still I'm really enjoying LOA. I just hope this not going to be a standalone book. It said it is a series at the beginning of the book, but PB been shady about that lately. Let it stay as a series. Hopefully it is a series.

[hanbereviews]

Okazaki Kei Route Review

After an (admittedly long) hiatus we’ve returned to continue this review series and hopefully finish it off! Our third character is Okazaki Kei, my second favorite character in the game. Kei’s a well meaning security specialist who was assigned to protect Yanagi’s team, but you soon learn pretty early on he’s a glorified spy meant to report their movements back to the police. While I loved him as a person, I have a few qualms with his route. Since it’ll be harder and harder to give my honest opinions on a route without putting in spoilers, this review will start to get fairly SPOILER HEAVY. So be aware if you’re looking to play this game and spoilers will diminish your enjoyment. 

Characterization

Okazaki Kei is an incredibly complex individual that is more than he seems from the get go. Considering the common advice is to play Enomoto, Sasazuka, then Okazaki’s route in that order you can view it as the game ramping up the stakes. He’s a seemingly easy going guy housing dark secrets and a host of issues that would probably be tough for a therapist to work through in real life. 

And I think the game does a very interesting job of portraying them! Kei balances a lot of charming moments with the more intense ones just enough to get you invested in him and wanting more. His infatuation with Ichika, and by consequence the issues of an insane martyr complex and a possessive streak crops up slowly enough and is properly explained enough that you don’t feel like it’s a case of her being a mary sue. Okazaki is insanely affectionate, and it feels natural to his character in such a way that you think he’d behave this way with anyone. Which makes genuinely becoming closer to him in the story so much more satisfying! 

Okay I know I’m seriously gushing about him and his route certainly has its flaws, but I honestly suspended a lot of my disbelief for those flaws. That is to say, the whole way he solves his martyr complex kind of does rest on the power of heterosexual love. But the average otome enjoyer isn’t coming to the genre to see a plotline happen where a man gets six months of therapy. 

Plot Relevance

Following up on Sasazuka dealing with a member of Adonis, Okazaki does the same thing. While a lot of his conflict is primarily focused inward, the game doesn’t deprive you of a glimpse into the greater narrative and in fact connects the two fairly easily. 

On Ichika’s end, I have to say she did a fair bit of detective work here, most of it actually. Kei is firmly categorized as the brawn, a security guard, so a lot of times Ichika is bouncing ideas off him and taking initiative in the case. A breath of fresh air after dealing with her kind of being made out to be a bumbling idiot in Sasazuka’s route. 

Now the greater plot, is um, a piece of work. Okazaki’s route connects his internal conflict with Adonis. We’re shown a flashback of an assassination attempt on the prime minister, and Okazaki mistakenly attempted to save someone instead of committing himself to the job. The consequences were drastic, his partner dying to keep him safe. Except he finds out soon after that same partner was a mole for Adonis, and had a big hand in the assassination attempt. Kei is so traumatized that he develops the martyr complex that I mentioned just a few paragraphs earlier! He latches onto Ichika, because he projects a standard that she’s worth dying for. The narrative makes it clear it’s not because it’s Ichika, but rather because she was in the right place at the right time. 

So you expect a lot of the plot to be devoted to this right? Well, yes! But also no. Kei’s Adonis pair is a man who’s part of organized crime and was a former police officer. He grew increasingly dissatisfied with his job, being abused by his superior and constantly having his accomplishments stolen from him by said superior. As a result he grew so discontent with the police force he turned to crime. This is a very touchy and nuanced subject don’t you think? Exposing that police as an institution is rife with the ability for cops to be crooked, combined with them lording their authority over others. 

Well the game handles that with all the gentleness of taking a bat to someone’s window. The greater plotline plays out like such a weird pro-cop PSA that I felt kind of disoriented over it. You obviously can’t easily forget that this game is about the police as much as it as about dating guys. But I felt like I was getting slapped in the face over and over with “You NEED cops to protect you. Cops must ALWAYS be there. Corruption is only a few bad apples. Cops are IMPORTANT.” Like, I thought I was playing an otome game. Not debating the police’s general usefulness. And its especially stupid because Kei isn’t even a sterotypical cop! He’s specifically trained in security detail, you know, GUARDING people. Not chasing down criminals! Why was I getting this force fed to me on his route of all places?!

Character Interaction

This is where no exaggeration, the route was saved for me. Kei was accompanied by a junior officer named Hideaki Yoshinari who is effectively his right hand man, and their interactions are as funny as they are endearing. This also gives Ichika a handy outside character to talk to. This, combined with her speaking to her friends in the police force means she gets a wealth of outside interaction until the narrative closes her off a bit. However there’s actually a good explanation this time! I mean, if you can take Kei effectively being the game’s yandere as a good explanation.

Kei and Ichika’s interactions evolve in such a way that are incredibly interesting and pretty well written to me. Kei starts out infatuated with the idea of her, and with the idea of dying for her. He flirts, he gets touchy feely, and he makes her heart flutter. But it’s all in service to himself, and his inner monologues don’t really shy away from that fact. I mean, eventually they do truly fall in love. But Ichika growing to like him and thus not checking out of their potential relationship when she does catch wind of his freaky martyr complex, instead helping him work through it is super nice. And just to mention, the CG below the plot relevance header is an awesome and tension filled moment. Definitely surprised me a little bit. 

This is a side note, since I have nowhere else to put this but Kei’s um. Incredibly horny. I don’t know how else to put it, but we ramped up from rather vague innuendos and CGs that didn’t amount to much, to Kei openly talking about having sex with Ichika before the route’s climax (joke completely unintentional I swear). I mean this game is for adults, and every character is in their mid to late 20s, but still with how strong he came on I was shocked. I don’t think it helped that I’ve played pretty much every popular game Yuki Kaji has been in, and hearing the voice of the quintessential guy you call when you want him to play either screaming asshole or normal dude talk about how much he wants to have straight sex with you is crazy.  

Final Thoughts

I am being completely serious when I say even though I am giving this route a low score that Kei is still perhaps one of my favorite characters in the game. It’s too bad that the greater plot that intersected with his internal conflict was 5+ hours of having copaganda shoved down my throat. I indicated when I started this review that I don’t have good opinions of the police due to the aforementioned issue of my being black, and police in every country have a very very dark history of abusing their power. So I’m not going to act like that didn’t severely lower my enjoyment. 

I’m giving this route a 6.5/10. 

But like I said, Kei’s an extremely compelling character. So if you include my completely loving him, maybe you can inflate that rating by about 2 points.

[roadtoavonlea]

Working through 3.02

Well, it’s almost been 24 hours since we were all smacked with the second episode of the third season of Anne with an E.  There was a lot to digest and idk about y’all, but I got MAJOR heartburn from it all, but now after some contemplation, I’m ready to put my thoughts down.

I figure that the best way to do this is to do it storyline by storyline.  So, let’s start with Matthew/Miss Stacy:

This is a dynamic I definitely wanted to see more of since Ms Stacy first emerged in 2.09.  She is an adult version of Anne, just as hopeful and curious about the world around her.  Matthew is so incredibly reserved and shy that whenever he finds a connection with anyone other than Anne, Marilla, and Jerry, well--it’s kind of hypnotizing, tbh.  I loved his conversation with Gilbert in season one in which he offered to help Gilbert with his farm after Gilbert’s father passed away.  It takes a true kindred spirit to get Matthew to open up, and this was one of the shining lights of (what I consider to be) one of the darkest episodes of the series.  It was very refreshing.  And Ms. Stacy--well, I love her more with every passing episode.

I’m very worried about Matthew making it through this season.  He’s said quite a few things that have made me very nervous about the state of his mortality.

Cole and Aunt Jo.  I’ve been waiting over a year to see these two again.  Two of my favorite characters in the entire series and seeing them again is just *chef’s kiss*.  I love all of my found families in Anne with an E, but their dynamic is E V E R Y T H I N G. Can we have a spin-off with these two?  Unfortunately this episode offered very little of my favorite adult in the show, but Cole more than made up for that.

Anne’s journey.  For me, this was the darkest storyline of the episode (and potentially series, depending on which routes Moira takes this season).  We’ve seen flashes of Anne’s past at the orphanage before, not to mention the torment she faced from her peers and authority figures.  For her to go back, to (literally) FACE those who continue to stalk her nightmares--well, THAT is true brave.  Her poise and compassion while staring her tormentors in the eye...honestly...I’ve NEVER been prouder of our girl.  AB indicated that episode two was the most challenging for her this season--and I understand why.  It was so difficult to watch from the “ghosts” she witnessed to watching that father leave his two small children behind (side note: I LOST it during that part. Like openly sobbed, it was so heartbreaking), to proclaiming how pathetic she was for creating all of these fantasies just to survive.  And Cole.  His heart to heart with Anne and telling her that he wouldn’t have survived without her just made me cry even harder because at this point, Anne’s doubting everything.  Cole’s reassurance that she matters and that she’s loved was so powerful.  I knew her going back would be rough but man--those performances just blew me away.

Bash/Mary/Elijah.  Can Bash and Mary just be happy?  I just wanna go back to that happy family in 3.01.  I understand Elijah’s had a tough life and he’s in deep with some stuff, but man...that entire exchange with Mary and Bash hit me almost as deeply as Anne at the orphanage.  The entire time I knew something was going to happen and as soon as they showed Gilbert’s father’s medal, I knew where things were headed.  The pain in Gilbert’s eyes at the end of the episode twisted the knife that was already in my heart.  I hope this doesn’t fracture the Blythe/LaCroix unit.  After reading the brief synopsis of the next episode, I’m really anxious about one of my favorite Avonlea families.

I’m really worried about Mary.

Which I guess leads me to the storyline that shoved the knife in my throat in the first place.  I stumbled upon spoilers about five minutes before the show started and while I had all but figured out where Gilbert’s storyline was headed this season (I thought Ashleigh would be Christine, not a completely new character--which is more frightening tbh), I still wasn’t prepared for what actually happened.  So, *deep breath*, I’m gonna try to work through some of this:

It’s clear that while still hurt from the whole “Take Notice” thing in 3.01, Gilbert was willing to move forward and try to have an enjoyable trip to Charlottetown with Anne because...well...I feel like these two really haven’t been alone a lot between the last two seasons.  In 3.01 they seemed friendly enough, but not quite friends (which honestly, upon deep reflection--has been the most disappointing thing thus far this season...gimmie that friendship, Moira!!).  So, I feel like he was sort of hopeful to be able to have a conversation with Anne and regain some of the rapport they had at the end of season two.  

Obviously, Anne wasn’t quite in the mood given the HIGHLY embarrassing display Marilla subjected her to on the train platform.  Anne’s always considered herself to be fiercely independent (and she is, for the most part), so I can see her point in regards to not needing a chaperone.  Her anger and frustration with Marilla definitely got misplaced onto poor, unsuspecting Gilbert and (once again) she spoke before she really thought about what she was saying.

Only this time she actually said what Gilbert had been thinking for awhile.  She doesn’t need him.  She doesn’t see him in a romantic way.  He realized in that moment that he had been pining over someone who didn’t even deem him worthy to hear what her “mission” was.  Being reminded of his place in her world, that he was merely an acquaintance, immediately sent his defenses up.  We KNOW that he’s still hung up on the “take notice” thing because of that line about what he’s taken notice of.

So, still feeling the sting of her rejection, he goes to Dr. Ward’s office and there’s Winifred Rose.  I’m curious to learn how long these two have known one another and what her role is.  Obviously, he’s charmed by her because she’s a lot like a certain someone who had just rejected him, not to mention the fact that she is pretty.

Ok, so I have issues with this storyline (as do most of you). My issues are:

It seems a little OOC for Gilbert.  This is why I want to know how long he’s known Winifred.  If he’s known her for awhile and has had an infatuation for a bit, then ok...not too out of the ordinary, but for him to go from clear and obvious excitement about traveling with Anne to asking “Miss Rose” to tea...I mean...I got whiplash from how quickly he pivoted from one to the other.  I feel like if we just had one more episode of build up or had an episode of establishment with Winifred, it wouldn’t have been quite so jarring.  I think Moira knows this (because her pacing with the series thus far has been excellent) which leads me to believe that this has to be a rebound kind of thing.

How old is this woman?  I know others have posed that question and I’m in that boat.  I know Gilbert is supposed to be 18, but she seems....quite a bit older than that.  Also, my spidey senses are tingling when it comes to her.  What’s her endgame here?  I don’t trust her (this could be my shirbert soul screaming, but I feel like this needs to be said).

His actions don’t align with Gilbert from the books.  I know that seems like a cop-out because we all stopped comparing the show to the books back in season one (at least, we should have), but I’ve been a Gilbert Blythe stan for most of my life.  The books and the 80s mini-series were my first intro to him and he’s one of my favorite fictional characters--ever, so I can’t help but to think about book Gilbert while watching the show.  I know others have touched on this as well, so I won’t rehash.  I know the show is its own organism, but it just happened so fast.  So. Fast.

I will say that it appears as if Moira has taken a few plot points from Anne of the Island (my favorite book) this season, so it stands to reason that Winifred could be her version of Christine Stuart.  Anne’s quest to learn more about her parents (though just a blip) was also part of that book, sooooo that’s something to consider/keep in mind.

I guess my biggest issue right now is the pacing of it.  I’m all for angst.  I absolutely LOVE it.  It’s where I love to live, but it happened so quickly in the midst of an already emotionally draining episode, so it felt exponentially amplified.

I need to watch it again, but I’m not sure when I’ll have the stomach to because that episode punched me in the face with a lot of emotions I wasn’t quite prepared to handle.

Having said all of that (bless you if you’ve made it this far because i don’t think I’ve added anything of importance), bring on Charlie Sloane.  Make this triangle a square (however non-existent it may be).  Let Gilbert see someone else pursue Anne.  Heck, let’s throw in a few others.  Tilly doesn’t have any problems with multiple suitors (she’s the real MVP right now, let’s be honest), so let’s have someone else show interest in Anne.  The more the merrier.  I’m expecting/hope to have sheer chaos when it comes the fall out of this “take notice” board and the barn dance.  Throw Jerry/Diana/Moody in there too.  I’m totally on board for this kind of chaos.  GIVE ME ALL THE ANGST.

[nellie-elizabeth]

Elementary: Their Last Bow (7x13)

Oh my goodness what the heck I'm crying! That was so lovely!

Cons:

It sure would have been cool to get Natalie Dormer back as Jamie Moriarty, but I understand why they couldn't. A part of me wishes that a bit less of this episode had been focused on her, because it kind of set up expectations that she might make an appearance after all. Next to the looming specter of Jamie Moriarty, the random NSA guy just didn't pack much of a punch.

I absolutely loath the narrative device of showing a coffin and trying to fake out the audience as to who has died. They've done it on Arrow, they've done it on pretty much every procedural show I've ever watched... I'm sick of it. This one was particularly annoying because it dragged on for a while, with Sherlock and McNally talking about a nameless "she" who had died. Obviously we're supposed to think it's Joan, but it turns out it's Jamie Moriarty in the end. Sigh. This was obvious and they dragged it out way too long.

Pros:

But whatever! This episode was so soft and lovely! My favorite thing about Elementary for all of these years has been how down-to-earth it is. We don't need to have insane drama at the last minute. We need a quiet story about relationships and love. That is exactly what we were gifted here at the end, and I adored every second of it. I'm a little unsure where to even start, actually.

The idea of doing a flash-forward in a finale episode is always slightly risky, but in this case I think it worked really well. We want to know how these people's lives are going to continue. We want to see their futures play out for us, or at least a little section of them.

Bell becomes Captain! And gets married and has a kid! I'm proud of him, and I love that Joan tells him (and Gregson) that Sherlock is alive. I get that Sherlock wants to protect people, but Joan was right to put them out of their misery. Bell's reaction to seeing Sherlock is to punch him, and honestly... right on. I like that Bell is hurt, but that he's still ultimately Joan's biggest supporter, and you know that he and Sherlock can patch things up.

Gregson is retired now, and Paige has passed away. He spends time with his remaining family and seems to be enjoying his retirement. He gets one of the best lines in the episode, when he wonders why Sherlock is leaving again. After all, there's only one person in the world that Sherlock truly loves, and she's in New York. That is just such a gut-punch and I love that Gregson is there to offer that perspective. He also betrays Joan's trust by telling Sherlock about her cancer, but under the circumstances, I'm not mad at him for that.

And let's talk about the creme de la creme - the reason I watched this show for seven seasons. Sherlock and Joan's relationship. I've never seen a show pull off a relationship like this. I trusted and believed that they'd never go the romance route with them, but there was always that fear in the back of my mind that they'd pull a Mulder and Scully or follow the precedent of pretty much every similar show on the air. When you have a man and woman team up to solve crimes, they're supposed to fall in love at some point, apparently. But Joan and Sherlock... they do love each other. They are family in every way. But they're not in a romantic or sexual relationship. They never were, and they were never going to be. I love it! I'm so excited! Last season gave us this understated sendoff for the characters that worked beautifully as a final episode to celebrate their partnership. This season managed to give another understated sendoff, one that I liked perhaps even more, because Gregson and Bell also got a chance for beautiful final moments.

Joan goes through with adopting a child, which I was really pleased about. I always loved the potential of that plot thread, and while it was mostly dropped from the show, it comes back here in the perfect way. Her son, named Arthur (ostensibly as a tribute to Arthur Conan Doyle), is just the cutest little guy. And Sherlock is in awe of him. He's so complimentary and so honored to meet him, and keeping Arthur safe is a big part of the reason he stayed away from New York. It might not be a totally logical impulse - after all, if Sherlock has enemies, it wouldn't be difficult for those enemies to find out about his relationships in New York. Joan and Arthur might have been targets no matter what. But the instinct is also really sweet, and selfless. We learn that Sherlock relapsed during his time away, and he's especially afraid of being a part of Arthur's life if there's the risk he might not be able to stay sober. I bet Sherlock is an amazing caregiver to little Arthur. We don't know if he becomes something like a father to the child or not, but knowing that he's with Joan, that their partnership remains, and that Arthur gets to grow up with Sherlock Holmes in his life, is warming my heart to no end.

We now need to talk about The Scene. You know the one I'm talking about. Sherlock learns what's going on with Joan, learns that she has cancer. He comes to her, horrified at the thought that she was going to let him leave and go back to his work around the world, without even telling him about it. Joan gets upset too, saying that she plans on beating this thing, that she didn't want him to feel like he had to stay... and then Sherlock hugs her, and says of course he's staying. The acting in this scene from both of them was beautiful. Sherlock was getting so choked up. He was so scared for Joan, and so upset at the thought that she would have kept this from him. See how it feels, Sherlock? Yeesh. In any case, of course Sherlock will stay with her. We even get that affirmation in the final scene of the episode, when Sherlock says that nothing else matters as long as they're together.

I want to talk about my favorite little detail from that last scene, actually. Obviously Sherlock's last words on the show being about his partnership with Joan, and how much he values it, is pure excellence. But it's earlier, on the elevator, that I think their relationship is demonstrated at its finest. Joan asks what Sherlock thinks of her wig, they banter about that for a moment, and then Sherlock asks Joan if she has the note from her doctor declaring her "cancer free." When Joan says she doesn't have it, and that Bell isn't likely to need an actual doctor's note to give her the job back, Sherlock replies that it doesn't matter, he has a copy of it in his email inbox.

It's just that little thing, right there. Joan forwarding the results of her doctor's tests to Sherlock, and Sherlock keeping it. Over the years, I've always complimented this show on the way it sweats the details. The little things, the proof of domesticity and partnership, that pervades their relationship. I love that even in this final scene, that dynamic was what was at play. Simply beautiful.

For this finale, I give a score of:

9/10

For the show as a whole... gosh. You know, in so many ways this show is just a procedural, and while there have been plenty of similar shows over the years that I've enjoyed in various degrees, this particular genre of TV show is not really my thing. In fact, I don't think I'll ever start another show like this again, unless there's something truly exceptional about it. I could do without the bajillion case-of-the-week plots. I'm never all that intrigued by the murder mysteries, the gathering clues, the capturing of criminals. But the core of this show was something more beautiful than I know how to describe. Just the joy of having a truly platonic love story between a man and a woman, the pleasure of watching them build a life and a relationship together over so many years, made this show one of my favorites to watch each week. I have to mark it down for the fact that most of its run-time was eaten up by procedural cop stories, and that's just not what I watched it for. But the rest of it was so good that I can't exactly give this show a negative rating. Over-all, Elementary gets...

8/10

[orionsangel86]

im scared with where deancas is going and im actually really glad im not the only one, it was great to read your post on endgame destiel because i feel very strongly that way too. I want something to happen in the next couple of episodes. I hoped with the build up we saw in s12/13 was only back peddled because they want to leave destiel for the very endgame, but now they know s15 is the last and they knew that writing these episodes... i want to be optimistic, but have to be realistic too

The thing is, during the S12/13 escalation I was convinced Destiel was on the cards. The whole thing played out like a Victorian gothic romance novel. That ain’t subtext. That’s text. I maintain my stance that the mixtape was the point of no return on Destiel. They can’t come back from that. 

They HAVE hit the breaks since then, and it has constantly been a source of annoyance for me. Leaving me frustrated and confused that they would just stop like that. So yeah, we can float our theories and spec on the topic, but at the end of the day we have two directions left, either they pick up the pace and start making serious call backs to the S12/13 escalation right now and bringing that story to the front line again, or they keep it completely out of the main story, put all the focus on family instead of romance and leave the Destiel stuff out of the minds of the general audience. The second route could still give us something ambiguous at the very end, but it isn’t the grand love story I have always hoped for. I would still feel cheated if that happens. I just happen to think this is the more likely route. 

The next two episodes should give us an indication of which direction season 15 will follow. It all relies on several possible outcomes all related to Cas’s Empty Deal:

Option 1. The deal gets either no mention or only a very small mention and nothing happens in relation to it. Season 14 ends darkly, but not in a way that relates to Cas specifically. There is no obvious Destiel subtext, but Cas’s empty deal still looms over season 15.

This option means its all still up in the air but will leave me still feeling pretty negative over summer hiatus. By delaying the Empty deal completely until Season 15, there is still a potential for it to be triggered by romantic Destiel. The course could still change EVEN if Season 14 gives us nothing. I wouldn’t hold my breath, but I would still have a smidgen of hope that things could turn around.

Option 2. Cas goes to the Empty due to the deal triggering in the finale (as a Mary mirror this seems likely to me). It is NOT triggered by Destiel. It is triggered by Chuck’s return giving Jack a soul, fixing the current issues, and giving Cas the catharsis he has needed all series from his father that the boys got from John in 14x13. Cas finally being rid of his guilt over heaven and being able to finally free himself from heavens bonds could be enough to trigger the Empty deal if it is played alongside a happy Winchester family reunion.

In this option, Cas’s “permission to be happy” comes from Chuck, and him being accepted as a true Winchester brother. I think this option was foreshadowed in 14x18 especially with the MW carving on the table and the empty space still left under the SW:

If Cas’s deal is triggered this way, then I can’t see Destiel being a factor at all in Season 15 outside of the usual subtext. Simply because it takes away the one thing we all otherwise know to be as good as fact: that Cas is in love with Dean. For Cas to be truly happy, this option does imply that there is no unrequited (at least in his mind) love between him and Dean, and that he is completely at peace just being Dean’s brother. I feel this would be a huge disservice to Castiel as a character who has clearly IMO been written as in romantic love with Dean since at least season 6.

This option does however still give us something exciting - in terms of the poetic cyclic story telling currently being used in the show, having Season 15 start with Dean going to the Empty to rescue Cas in a reverse of Cas’s rescue of Dean in Season 4 is a beautiful potential plot that I would thoroughly enjoy. It doesn’t however mean Destiel - though I suppose there is a potential for them to explore even though it puts Cas’s feelings into question.

Option 3. Cas breaks or changes the terms of the Empty deal in some way - goes to the Empty of his own volition in order to save someone else or stop something.

This option is another potential cop out of the otherwise extremely tropey current deal. But writing it this way still does give us potential Destiel depending on Dean’s reaction and what happens next, because it once again leaves it open. It doesn’t confirm or deny Cas’s feelings for Dean. However it certainly wouldn’t rekindle my faith in endgame Destiel, but leave me even more curious as to what happens next.

Option 4. Cas goes to the Empty due to the elements in option 2 PLUS a confession or something from Dean giving us canon Destiel. 

Obviously this is the preferred option. In my opinion, the ONLY way that Cas would give himself permission to be TRULY happy and have the deal triggered in its current state would require the following things:

Jack’s soul is restored and he is back to normal

The Winchesters reunite as a strong family

Cas is TOLD that he is a part of that family unconditionally

Chuck returns and gives Cas the catharsis he needs to forgive himself for his actions in heaven

Dean confesses his love

(The final point being the trigger following all the previous elements taking place)

Do I think option 4 is likely? Not really. I just haven’t seen enough build up even in subtext for this to happen in the Season 14 finale. Do I think option 2 could happen without that final key point though? Yes.

At this stage I would honestly prefer options 1 or 3 taking place so I can at least still have hope in the ambiguity, but in my mind Cas is set up to go to the Empty at the end of the season. Mary’s death confirmed that to me, and the current treatment of Cas as well in the latest episode also seems to be setting up for his loss having a huge impact on the Winchesters. The story is being reset. Season 15 should start with Sam and Dean alone having lost everything, and then the course of the season leads them to fight for everything they desire. 

The reason I say this is that this season is all about asking the question “What do you want?” I want Season 15 to start with the Winchesters answering that question themselves, and then fighting to get it. 

Perhaps, if this does happen without the Destiel element at the end of season 14, there is STILL a small potential for Destiel to happen based on DEAN’S actions in Season 15, as Castiel’s return would be the answer to the question “what do you want?” when posed to Dean. I would still see it as a disservice to Castiel, but this would depend on how the show takes that potential story forward.

This is my spec anyway. Lets hope I’m wrong.

[selsorenda]

For day 2, I’ve written a book review. This is first I’ve ever written, and turned out a bit more like a report for high school than a review, but I think it’s a good stepping stone to my next review being better.

Rating: 2.5/5 stars

Time Spent Reading: 3 hours

Length: 277 pages

This book can be found on Goodreads here.

This review does contain spoilers

“Welcome to the Bismarck-Chisholm House — where murder is only the beginning of the fun!”

“It was just supposed to be a vacation; a quick trip to go up and sell the manor her mother had inherited. Instead, the family is still living there, and it’s beginning to look like they may never leave. Trapped on Solitude Mountain with nobody but her mother and two sets of twin siblings, Seda grows more worried with each passing day. There’s something dark lurking within the manor… or within her.

“I don’t ever worry about ghosts. After all, I have Sawyer, and he is worse.”

Sawyer is Seda’s twin that she absorbed in the womb. He is almost always with her, whispering thoughts into her head. Some simple demeaning comments, other dangerous suggestions such as when he urged her to burn her hand as a kid. Nobody knows that he’s with her, at least not anymore. As a young kid, everybody thought Sawyer was just her imaginary friend. Therefore, Seda led her family to believe she’d simply grown out of him, instead of the daunting truth.

It is clear that her relationship of hearing Sawyer is some sort of mental illness, however it is never fully discussed within the book. There’s the struggle of Seda dealing with him, and the eventual point where she tells another character about still hearing him, but that’s really it. While this book is meant to be a classic YA thriller/horror, not psychological horror, it’s always frustrating to see mental illnesses used as a minor and brushed over way to push the plot along. At the very least, a full conversation between Seda and who she reveals the secret to would have been nice to see.

“Legend has it that everyone who visits succumbs to the disorienting effect of Solitude Mountain. Can you survive the night?”

Every chapter starts with part of a brochure or website article about the murder mystery that used to be hosted at the manor by Seda’s aunt and uncle. Not only are they often fun little quips, but they tend to tie into what happens in the chapter, which is a nice touch. The above quote is from the beginning of chapter 2, in which readers get the first glimpse of most of the characters.

Seda is on a grocery run 20 miles away from the manor when a group of teenagers comes into the shop, bright and full of energy. Seda, having been away from other people her age for quite a while at this point, finds herself intrigued by the group, and quite frankly she watches them like a bit of a creep. But that’s okay, because she’ll never see them again, right?

Wrong. On their way to a Halloween party at Funnel Mountain and deciding to take the scenic route, the group of teenagers gets caught in the storm. Heath, the “heartthrob” of the group, is the one that ends up inside the manor, thinking it’s uninhabited. When Seda first gets frightened by him showing up in her kitchen, she briefly thinks it’s her brother Sawyer. Of course, she then remembers that he’s only in her head and so this guy is an intruder. Instead of doing the logical thing and getting him out of her house, Seda has a conversation with Heath that leads to him asking if him and his friends can stay there.

“I want to help. He’s the most life I’ve seen in forever, beautiful, shining, vibrant life.”

Struck with a crush-at-first-sight, Seda decides to let Heath and his friends stay in the carriage house that’s slightly down the mountain. Her hope is that it’s far enough to keep them safe from Sawyer. Which it is, until she brings them hotdogs and a couple medical supplies later that night. It’s then that she finds herself growing fond of the group, and reminded of how all her friends are back in Boston, and she’s stuck here. Sawyer starts to creep in on her, and she promptly exits back to the manor, hoping the group will be gone the next morning.

As her luck would have it though, they weren’t. Even worse, her mother finds her talking to Heath while getting firewood. Before Seda can have any say, the group is being ushered into the manor by her mother like it's some big sleepover that’ll be the greatest party of their lives. Speaking of parties, it’s only a couple days to Seda’s 16th birthday, which causes her mother to have the grand idea to throw a big scavenger hunt for her and their guests. Surprisingly, the group of teenagers decides to go along with it, mainly to console the young sets of twins that are upset at the realization they missed Halloween. After all, what else are they going to do while stranded by the snow?

As Seda’s mother is setting up the grand party with all the left behind props from the murder mystery, Seda grows closer to Heath, the love interest of the story. Like with many YA novels, the romance feels a bit unnatural and rushed, and doesn’t add much to the story other than giving Seda someone to be by her side during the scavenger hunt. It is Heath that she reveals her secret about Sawyer to, and instead of seeming to be concerned, he just kind of shrugs it off.

“...but if I spent time trying to figure out all the mysteries of this place, I’d go insane.”

It isn’t until a couple chapters into the scavenger hunt (over halfway through the book) that the horror plot the blurb promised starts to take form. On a team together, Seda and Heath start to find blood and clues that don’t seem quite as fake as the others. Before they know it, they’re starting to find the dead bodies of Heath’s friends, and it seems like they’re next on the chopping block. Desperate to try and escape with their lives, the two come across an abandoned room… with evidence that Sawyer was alive, and he’s dangerous.

While trying to escape from Sawyer, Seda reveals another secret to Heath; she believes that her twin killed their dad. Up until this point, readers had been led to believe that her father had left because of her mother refusing to sell the house to the first buyer. Now, it is told that Seda found her father's body in the kitchen and fearing that Sawyer had caused her to do it, she’d hid his body in the walk-in freezer and drove his car into the nearby lake, as well as throwing his belongings into it. Again this is a strong indication of Seda being mentally ill, but again it is quickly brushed over when Sawyer shows up in the kitchen and starts to fight her and Heath.

In the struggle, Seda believes she traps Sawyer in the walk-in, until he is in front of her, about to burn her to death. Except, he can’t get the match to light. It is during that time that Seda gets away, running into a room filled with her family, and all of Heath’s friends. None of them dead, all alive and well. It had all been a grand set-up, thought up by her mother. Sawyer isn’t actually alive, and Heath and his friends aren’t teenagers, but seniors in college studying acting. (Which makes the fact that Heath kissed Seda quite unsettling, by the way.)

Endings like this are always so disappointing. I have always hated the “it was all a dream/fake” endings, as they feel like a huge cop-out. This book had potential, and frankly the fake story of Sawyer actually being alive would have been much more satisfying. Or, it even could have been Seda’s father. There were much better options for how the story could be wrapped up, and I’m honestly disappointed that the author chose to end it this way. The only redemption for the ending is when Seda is processing that her relationship with Heath was all a lie, and that he is who she had trapped in the freezer. Upon the realization Seda is ‘talking’ to Sawyer, and together they decide to leave Heath there, which ends the book off on the semi-eerie note that Seda is going down a dark path.

“After all, he knew something bad would happen. And he’s always right.”

Overall, I did enjoy this book. It was a quick read, and the references to slasher movies and classic gore (such as fake intestines) were fun. The descriptions and detail and easily the strongest part, and are what kept me reading. All the characters were written well, even if they didn’t get the development they deserved; I found myself especially fond of the young twins. However, since the book doesn’t live up to its promise of horror/thriller until well into the book, and the ending falls flat, this doesn’t come close to being as good as it could have been. If you’re looking for a horror/thriller book, this isn’t for you. But if you just want a fairly light YA book with a hint of gore and thrill, you’ll likely have fun reading this — it could definitely be great for teens looking to dip their toes into horror without diving all the way in. If your library has this book and you have a free afternoon, I’d recommend giving it a look!

[ais-n]

Hi there! Wanted to say a HUGE THANK YOU to you and santino for creating ICOS its an amazing series! love the characters, love the plot, even love the pain it comes with. boyd especially is my favorite character :) hope you dont mind, i have a couple of questions (fade related):1. how would boyd have gone about telling everything to danny had carhart not interrupted him? 2. does he have any triggers from the forakis mission that affect his relationship with hsin?

***FADE SPOILERS IN ANSWER - just an FYI for anyone who needs it :)***

Hi :) Thank you! I’m happy you like the series! Thank you for taking the time to read the long ass story and also reach out :) I don’t mind at all – I will just put the answers behind a cut for anyone who hasn’t gotten that far yet :) (Same reason for the bold at the top of this, sorry!) Also, sorry it took me awhile to get back to you.

!!**SPOILERS** FOR FADE BENEATH CUT!! (Also, long post beneath cut)

1) I had the whole thing planned out in my head at one point but I’ve forgotten the nuances since then. But from what I recall, he basically had planned to start the whole thing with a “look, I know you’re going to think I’m insane when I start telling you all this but please hear me out” sort of disclaimer. Then he probably would have gauged Danny’s response and his seeming level of skepticism from that disclaimer alone, and determined his best way forward. 

One way would be to just get right into the explanation and try to push Danny’s incredulous questions to the end after he’d gotten through everything. This way led the risk of Danny shutting down on the whole thing and not listening at all.

The other way would be to start out asking pointed and detailed questions designed to poke holes in the understanding Danny has of his situation–the things that don’t really add up, because they aren’t actually real–and then when Danny is starting to get kind of thrown off acknowledging some of those oddities, Boyd was going to give him the full, real explanation of what was going on behind the scenes, tying everything together for Danny to realize how the truth, as bizarre as it probably would seem to him, still makes a lot more sense than the truth he thought he knew. This way led the risk of Danny feeling like Boyd was being condescending or not truthful enough by dragging it out.

Either way, he would have planned to provide him as much evidence as he had available. If he had pictures on his phone, he would show those. Or if he had old drawings or whatever else, he’d do that. Basically, it would be whatever he had that was close enough to the evidence Danny eventually finds, to prove it further. He also was planning to do his best to prove these weren’t the edited doings of a crazed man who photoshopped him into pictures or sat around creepily drawing his pictures and backdating them.

There was a slight possibility that Danny would hear all this and go, “Oh wow, this all makes sense. I believe you.” But Boyd figured that chance was pretty small, all things considered. The conversation was far too life-altering and would seem far too crazy for it to be likely that Danny would accept it without question. He expected Danny to be not just skeptical, but to tell him he was outright insane and to fuck off for a bit. He figured it was best to plan for that as a worse (but not worst) case scenario, so that it would give him the opportunity to plan ahead to try to keep Danny safe in the meantime before Danny accepted everything.

(Boyd saw the worst case scenario as something like Danny getting up mid-story, calling the cops on Boyd for being a stalker or insane, cutting all ties with Boyd and maybe even trying to pursue legal action like an order for protection to keep him away, Janus and the Agency catching wind of all of this, Danny being subjected to experiments and sent by the Agency to somewhere Boyd couldn’t find, the Agency turning on Boyd and his friends in the assumption that they knew about all of this too, his friends being hurt or tortured, Boyd being strapped down somewhere and left to die a torturous death with his mind descending into insanity, Danny dying in the experiments or getting really fucked up or somehow living his life without freedom or happiness, and just generally everything going completely to hell. There were other scenarios like Danny freaking out and accidentally killing Boyd, thereby also fucking up Danny’s future, but Boyd figured that wasn’t worst case scenario because there was a chance Danny could still be found by loved ones as a result of the fallout of that happening, but other ways like his worst case scenario wouldn’t involve that possibility.)

Assuming Danny let him talk to the end, he would have very, very strongly pushed Danny to leave immediately after hearing all of this, as a way to protect him. He would ask Danny to go, even if Danny had to think of it as a sudden impromptu vacation and not a permanent life change, because who would upend their life suddenly for what could be the ravings of a paranoid madman? Boyd would do everything in his power to prove to Danny why that was a very necessary step to take, regardless of how insane he thought Boyd was by that time.

And although he was more than willing to run with Danny, he assumed Danny would think he was crazy and would not want him to go with even if Boyd was able to convince him to leave.

So, honestly, Boyd figured what was most likely to happen would be he would tell Danny everything, Danny would be in denial and would understandably think Boyd was totally off his rocker, but Danny would recognize at least that Janus and others were a concern so maybe he could get Danny to leave even just for that, even if Danny thought it was a temporary thing. Maybe Danny would trust at least that Boyd, due to his job, knew a better way for safe passage for Danny than Danny would easily and quickly be able to scrounge up for himself. Boyd was planning to all but force Danny to take the safe route Boyd would have prepared for him, to try to protect him. 

Assuming Danny didn’t want him to go with for whatever reason, Boyd was going to tell Danny he loved him when Danny left, and then Boyd figured he would never see him again. He figured eventually Danny would come to grips with what happened, and would accept the truth on some level whether or not he liked it. But Boyd knew that if he told Danny everything, and if Danny fled Annadale, then the Agency wouldn’t be long behind. And he couldn’t let that happen. Nor could he risk any of his friends back at the Agency getting implicated in anything, if the Agency thought he’d told them everything. 

So his plan was to make sure Danny got away safely, make sure Danny was in the hands of someone or some process that wouldn’t let him do something stupid like come right back to Annadale before he realized the truth, and then Boyd would go back to the Agency and either wait for them to realize what he had done (which would give Danny more time to get away), or depending on the circumstances and whether he felt Danny needed more protection, he might find a way to send false positives about Danny sightings to the Agency in an automated way that would continue to protect Danny into the future. He may have also attempted to break into areas of the Agency to further this goal by fucking with their systems or trying to delete information about Danny in the computer system or whatever it was he learned would help and he was capable of doing.

Regardless, he knew that as soon as Danny was gone and if he didn’t go with him, then it was only a matter of time until the Agency realized what Boyd had done.

So, Boyd knew if he didn’t go with Danny, he was dead.

He planned to delay and confuse the Agency as long as possible and automate as much as he could so Danny would continue to have protection going into the future even after Boyd’s death. Boyd figured that ultimately the Agency would go after him to find out where Danny was, and Boyd assumed he would die a slow, torturous death of them trying to get that information from him. His main goal in all of that was to make sure the Agency didn’t get anything from him that could endanger Danny, or endanger any of Boyd’s friends. He wanted to make sure it was clear to the Agency that he hadn’t told the others anything, so they wouldn’t be a target of the Agency’s wrath as well once he was gone.

He did worry about his friends back in the Agency if Danny decided to ask Boyd to go with him, but he still planned to go with in that event because he wanted to be there to protect and support Danny–to make sure the Agency never got him.

From Boyd’s assumptions about how everything would play out, he saw the conversation with Danny as a literally life or death situation, not just for Danny but also for himself. Telling Danny the truth meant endangering Danny, and potentially signing his own death warrant. But he would have done it regardless of the consequences on himself, because he felt at that time that Danny was getting too close to danger without the information, and he didn’t know how else to protect Danny or make sure he could remain safe, happy, and free far into the future. That goal was more important to Boyd than anything else.

I’m not sure if anyone will think any of that sounds a bit dramatic, but Boyd’s mindset was that the Agency would try to kill him and try to recover Danny at all costs, which ended up being accurate to what was seen later. He may or may not have been right about specifics about how it could have gone down, but the stakes of that conversation were quite high in the long run, so he would have tried to prepare for all the variations as best he could, while assuming something would go wrong in the process, because Boyd’s experience was something almost always went wrong when it came to the Agency.

He figured a sacrifice was inevitable at those high of stakes and considering the circumstances and the wrath the Agency was likely to have. When it came down to it, the only sacrifice he felt safe offering for the protection of everyone else was sacrificing himself so everyone else could stay as safe and free as possible. So his plan was built as much around shielding everyone else and giving Danny as much of a safety buffer as possible, with Boyd being the main way of trying to throw the Agency off as long as possible with false information or misleading clues. That was, he figured, the best way for him to try to control as many variables as possible to extend Danny’s safety net as long as Boyd could hold out.

This may all seem a bit tangential to mention but I mention it because Boyd would have been thinking about all of this when he went into his conversation with Danny, so he would have been adjusting the way he said things and how quickly he brought up new information based on how Danny was reacting, because his ultimate goal had to be to get Danny out of there immediately, and to stay gone, and for that he needed Danny to trust him enough to believe at least that the imminent danger to Danny was real and that Boyd’s offered escape was safe, even if Danny didn’t believe everything. All of that would have greatly affected exactly how that conversation went.

2) There probably were, especially in the beginning. I could see there still being some now… it’s a little hard to say because we haven’t written much interaction of their relationship as it is now, and a lot of times with Boyd I don’t always know how he’ll react to something until I’m at that moment in that scene in his mind. There are times I think he’d react one way when thinking about that scene ahead of time but we get there and he reacts a totally different way. I always go with it because it makes sense for him as a person, and it reminds me constantly that I am not him so I can’t always speak for him properly. That may sound like a weird thing to say about a character and it probably sounds cheesy for me to say but I think of characters like real people–I may have an insight into their mindset from knowing them so well, but I don’t always know what they will do or how they will feel until I’m at that moment writing it out.

I know he does have residual issues from that mission and also from everything with Janus later in Fade, because it all fed together. 

Things that I know specifically would trigger him or freak him the fuck out include some of the things we already saw referenced or implied in Fade, like:

**Him having a panic attack aversion to the idea of having to perform on screen or have any sort of sexual or intimate interaction with Hsin for the gratification of others. Depending on how thrown off he is, this could transfer to other, more innocuous situations too, like he could potentially freak out even if it’s just him doing something non-intimate and non-sexual with Hsin and others watching/commenting/paying a lot of attention to it. If they’re in a setting where there are a lot of bright lights aimed at them, people watching their every move, maybe cameras going, people commenting on him, basically something that could throw him back into a flashback of filming the videos or being forced to perform for/with groups/etc, then even something like, let’s say, Hsin/Boyd doing a training exercise to show others how to fight against mods using two different skill sets (Hsin’s and Boyd’s) could potentially trigger him into some sort of panicked, dissociated reaction. Or he may not have any problems at all.

**He may similarly have panicked reactions to porn videos, and absolutely would freak out if he thought Hsin ran across one he was in. He’s never told Hsin the extent of any of that and doesn’t want him to know about the movies he was in, let alone have Hsin ever see them. Although he would definitely react negatively to one with him in it, if there were some other porn video playing there’s a possibility he wouldn’t freak out after all. It’s hard to say, but I do think that’s pretty likely to be a stressor for him.

**He’s now freaked the fuck out over the idea of being drugged, which might extend at times to a distrust even of taking lower level medication he would have taken without a thought in the past, like Advil or Tylenol. He doesn’t at all trust people coming at him with a syringe and might react violently if he’s already feeling vulnerable. Although this isn’t likely to come into play for Hsin and Boyd’s sexual relationship, it’s something that potentially could have come up at times if Boyd, say, had a really bad headache or was hurt or something and if Hsin for some reason thought he should take medication and Boyd was really hesitant. He would 100% trust Hsin but he wouldn’t trust who made or provided the medicine to Hsin for Boyd, depending on the situation. It may not be a problem if he feels like Hsin verified everything, because he trusts Hsin to protect him and make sure he won’t take anything unsafe. In some circumstances, absolutely the only way he would allow someone to administer drugs to him is if Hsin is there and will be there the whole time and saw the drugs be put into his IV or whatever it’s in. Even then, he may be really leery because he may be afraid of showing a side of himself to Hsin that he’s ashamed of, if he’s afraid the drug will be some sort of aphrodisiac or similar. But then, as always, there are also other circumstances where he might take the medication without freaking out.

**From an intimate or sexual standpoint, I don’t know. That’s a lot harder because he trusts Hsin not only with his life but also with his sanity, his heart, and his body. His phobias and triggers all tie into the same idea: losing control, and especially having that vulnerability then used against him. That can be said about his fear of being held down, his fear of drowning, and then the fears and triggers he developed after Alexio and after Janus and even after the Agency. 

He gets to a point where he almost entirely loses his fear of losing control around Hsin, because he knows Hsin won’t use it against him. But he still has a fear of losing himself. Even if he knows Hsin will love him no matter what, the idea of turning into Cameron around Hsin is absolutely horrifying to Boyd. He feels like being Cameron takes power away from him. He loses control of himself, even if it isn’t due to others taking that control from him, if that makes sense.

So I think that implicit and unshakable trust he has with Hsin is one hugely comforting part of being around Hsin and might do a lot to fight against triggers or extreme reactions he may otherwise have. But at the same time, no matter how much he loves and trusts Hsin, being triggered or having an extreme reaction isn’t a question of love or trust, nor does he always have control over whether it will happen. It’s a question of brain chemistry and memories and human psychology, all of which are things that can work autonomously from logic or his thoughts or feelings on a topic.

So it’s hard to say because I think those are two very powerful forces, and whether it affects his relationship with Hsin depends entirely on what force wins out and what was the impetus for the stress in the first place. 

That may seem like a non-answer and if so, sorry! I just don’t know for sure yes/no because there are too many extenuating factors to know for sure.

Hopefully all of this makes sense. I ended up replying to this pretty late at night which means I’m more talkative even than normal but also sometimes I word things super confusingly and go on tangents. If I didn’t answer something properly, let me know :) And I hope you have a great day!

[old-archivist]

So about In Hushed Whispers....

Can we take a moment to realize the utter mess off loose threads that is the Hushed Whispers plot?

Like it is one of my favorite storylines honestly, and up until I played Isala’s route more fully with allying the Templars I had no big issues. But I saw this post recently and with my large stack of “Bioware dropped the ball” notes and my own headcanons I’ve got 99 problems and Varric ain’t one.

It’s going to be long so I’m going to shove this under the cut.

1. Arl Teagan:

Okay, so with Teagan we met him back in Origins, we know what he would and wouldn’t do reasonably well. We know he’s undyingly loyal to the people of Redcliffe, that he refused to abandon them when he could have just as easily remained safer in the castle and tending to matters there. But instead he and his men repeatedly defended the village the best they could.

So why don’t we see him anywhere in Inquisition?

I know that Alexius says he kicked them out. Which cool fine, but why does Teagan retreat to Denerim?

He could have sent a messenger to petition for aid in reclaiming Redcliffe. Inquisition plays it out that he just up and left Redcliffe, which as Cassandra will point out makes no sense. He didn’t leave during the Blight why the heck would he leave when a foreign force is occupying his lands?

It makes more sense for him to send a messenger and act as a protecting force for the refugees. You could argue he would want to remain off Alexius’s radar, well then he hides himself away and sends small units of his men to aid refugees at least in giving them safe passage to the crossroads.

Those refugees are still part of Redcliffe’s protection, he would feel some sort of responsibility for them especially with Mother Giselle there. It makes no sense for his character to abandon all those under his protection, even if he sees himself as out matched by Alexius.

That could have been a questline, you run into his men as they’re protecting a group of refugees heading to the crossroads. If you choose to aid them, you get their aid. Help them 2-3 times and with whatever you’ve done to help the Hinterlands they’ll suggest you meet the arl. Playing an asshole Inquisitor? Don’t help them, you learn of his vague whereabouts from some refugees at the crossroads. So you go to meet Teagan, he then offers his aid where he can. If you didn’t help his men it takes some convincing, and he donates less troops to you that you see at the crossroads or around the Hinterlands with your troops. Once you save Redcliffe, before closing the Breach you’ll find he sent more troops to Haven. Side with the Templars? You get a smaller donation of troops once you reach Skyhold and are Inquisitor, you get no troops if you side with the Templars and didn’t help his men in the Hinterlands.

2. King Alistair:

I both get, and don’t get why Alistair shows up at the end. Really it sort of negates his character development through previous installments and the comics.

It could be said he arrives late due to time magic fuckery. (Which I’m addressing the Time Magic biz later. Because....woof.) But that feels like a cop out, especially after the Conclave is destroyed.

Now Fereldan is still recovering from the Blight, so their forces are limited. So if it was taking time for the troops to gather post-conclave explosion and before Redcliffe was occupied by the Venatori, why wouldn’t Alistair go ahead of his forces? Allow Anora/Eadmon bring the troops shortly after so that he can cut off/limit the amount of blowback on the mages and by extension Redcliffe.

Because that’s a very Alistair thing to do. He begrudgingly became king yes, but he’s grown so much since then. He’s more mature, capable, responsible, and the concern he holds for those of his country is so deep. He may have taken his cues from Anora at first, if you have them rule together, but he has very much stepped up to his roll.

Again this post, that inspired this rant, states it pretty well. 

It makes sense for Alistair to be fighting in the future with us, we missed out on having him there with us and Dorian. Not only that, could you imagine how it would be if him, Dorian, and you were the only ones who know of what the future holds if you fail? The amount of support he would give you post Hushed Whispers would be exponential. But lets say he’s there but he’s one of those infected with red lyrium. That he, like Liliana was tortured. It would be an excellent moment to reference the comics and would have added gravity for when you came back to the present. If you told Alistair about the future, insinuate something about what he could have said about the similarities of how he found his father? Well there’s his belief in what you say and his support.

We really missed out on fighting with King Alistair and all it entails.

3. Time Magic:

Ah. The Time Magic bit. Now I may have said this before in another post, but the time magic storyline really ruffles my feathers. It is a device that would have been great to create a sense of urgency after Val Royeaux and you first enter Redcliffe. But Bioware chose not to use it, and really most of my nit picks for Inquisition comes down to lack of urgency in the story or person preference in writing, the latter being unmet merely because it is a game and there is only so much they can do.

But yeah imagine if they used the time magic problem more. Like you want to clean up some things before deciding on the Templars or Mages? That’s cool but while you do any rifts you haven’t closed are now being tainted with time magic one by one in Hinterlands. Oh you’re playing on nightmare? Welp if you wait long enough and all the rifts left open in the Hinterlands are tainted with time magic those rifts you closed? Welp, thanks to the unraveling of time they’re now reopened and their difficulty just increased.

But then you stop Alexius, the time magic ends with him depending on what you choose for his fate.

Oh you chose the Templars instead of the mages? Alexius is running free, he’s teaching the unstable magic to other venatori, you now have time altering rifts in other locations. The kicker is you don’t get a chance to stop him because Corypheus kills him once he’s taught enough people.

So the after effects are that once you unlock and visit an area for the first time it potentially starts a clock, one that’s speed depends on your game difficulty. And Dorian? Alongside his personal quest with his father you have to help him track down ancient magic, forgotten caches of Tevinter when it had a solid grip on southern Thedas.