#holy shit i've been writing since like 11. it's 2 am now.
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blurrymango · 4 months ago
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Below the cut is. Some shit I just wrote.
You're eight years old and your twin just went into a coma. Their eyes are covered with bandages. Your parents keep them back home, in your room. Safe in their bed, right across from yours. Sometimes, it's easy to pretend they're just sleeping. That they'll wake up soon and things will go back to normal. But as time moves on, they don't wake up. You haven't spoken a word since the incident. Your parents don't notice it, or maybe they do, and they just don't care. It's quiet now. They can't speak. You won't either.
Your peers at school never liked either of you. Said you both weird, creepy. They notice your twin's absence. For some reason, they hate you even more. You get home, you go to your room, you ignore the body on the bed. You don't want to be in the same space as it. But you miss your sibling, and you don't want to be out in the house with your parents. Their hair grows out, you brush it, make sure it doesn't get tangled. You let your own hair grow too.
Sometimes, at night, you think you hear them speaking to you. You can't make out the words, you can't remember their voice. But you can hear them. You can't remember your own voice, either. Did the two of you sound the same? You know they used to talk a lot, you miss their voice. It's... been getting harder to recognize the body sharing your room as your sibling. It has your face, but not really. It's more like. A doll.
Sometimes, your parents catch you sleeping in the thing's bed. They tell you that you shouldn't disturb your sibling. It isn't your sibling, they were lively, bright, they had blue eyes and they liked to step on bugs. This thing in your room is a husk. It's barely alive. But it's warm. And you miss cuddling with your twin. You never hurt the thing. You're gentle with it. Careful not to disturb the tubes and wiring and whatever. You want to hurt it though, sometimes. It's frail, and pale, and lifeless. You wouldn't dare leave a single mark on its skin though. Your parents would have your head over it.
They make you get a haircut. It sucks. You cut the body's hair that night. You leave it longer than your own, though. Because it's more fun to play with if it's not short. Besides, their hair is better when it's longer than your own. You're going to be starting middle school soon. You want to tell it that. But you don't. You've forgotten how to speak, for one, and besides, talking to it would disturb the peace. You wouldn't speak to an inanimate object, you'd seem crazy. You probably are crazy though, because you can still hear it speaking to you at night. The words are louder but no less intelligible. It sounds like it's in pain. You are too.
Somehow, you make a friend at school. She has blue eyes. She likes to talk. She talks a lot, talks enough for the both of you. It's annoying. You draw things for her. You've punched a couple of bullies for her. But you don't let her touch you, it would be wrong, if you went home with someone else on your skin, you think. It might disturb the thing in the bed if there was residue of someone else. You've started taking care of the thing more often than your parents do, they think you're just being a good sibling, you just don't want them to touch what's yours.
Your friend goes home with you one day. Introduces herself to your parents. Funny, you don't remember if she ever told you her name, and you don't pay attention when she tells it to your parents either. They tease you about having a girlfriend. You feel angry at that. They think you're just flustered. She laughs, tells them you're just friends. The two of you hang out in the backyard, you're not ready to introduce her to. Your... twin. Yet. You almost don't even want her to look at them. She doesn't deserve to see them, delicate and monstrous. She doesn't deserve to go through that, it would scare her.
Somehow, she got a crush on you. You didn't even notice, your mind is stuck in your room with the doll most of the time. She comes over, and asks if the two of you can go to your room. You shut down, unable to stop her from dragging her into the space, you don't even notice her hand gripping your wrist, either. You're with her on your bed, her presence violates the air around you. What if her being here disturbs your twin? She's about to kiss you when her eyes finally glance at the other bed. She screams. She runs out of the house. The residue of her existence is hard to remove, you nearly cry while trying. You hope she didn't frighten the. Body. It's just a body. It can't be frightened. You have to remind yourself.
She doesn't speak to you anymore after that. She avoids you like the plague. You're grateful for it. She wasn't right for you. Her eyes the wrong shade of blue, her hair not dark enough. She won't be ruining yours afternoons and stealing away your attention from what's important. So delicate, and fragile. And warm. But not warm enough. In your mind, the body is still the same age your twin was, but you know that's not true. Time still passes, even though both of you are stagnant.
Puberty comes to the body first, with you waking up to blood all over the two of you. You scream, thinking that you had hurt it in your sleep. You nearly tear your vocal chords from it, even. Your parents rush in, no longer fazed to see you in the thing's bed. In your distress, you're thankful for their intrusion. They explain to you that your twin just got their first period. They say "she'll" be a woman soon, that "she's" growing up. You don't want that. You don't want that. They tell you that you'll be reaching puberty soon as well. That you'll be becoming a young man soon.
It terrifies you. The changes happening your bodies. Your parents give you the talk, and then tell you that you might be getting your own room soon. It's too much. It's too much all at once. You lock yourself in your room for two days. Only leaving the bed to get water from the bathroom connected to your room and to pee. Well, that's not true. You keep up your duties, taking care of the body. Your father finally manages to burst into the room on the third day. You're crying.
That night, you're too hungry to ignore. So you sneak into the kitchen, stop when you hear voices in the living room. Not the normal voices at night, your parents. Your mother is sobbing, your father sounds sad. They're talking about something. They're talking about your twin. Which is nothing out of the ordinary, they talk about the thing all the time. Always sad. Always sorrowful. Like they're mourning. It's sickening. But no. It's different. They're talking about you as well. Saying that this has "gone on long enough" and that they need to get both of you into the hospital. Your twin into a real hospital, you into an asylum. They're worried that you might do something terrible to your twin.
They're right, of course. You do something. But it's not terrible. It's not. It's an act of love. Nothing has felt right until now. Nothing quite as good as thrusting into the body's heat. You wonder why you didn't do this sooner. It feels amazing. Of course, the plan was to take the body and run away, but you feel so tired afterward that all you can do is pull out and lay down. You were gentle, being as inexperienced as you were. They bled, you felt guilty, almost enough to stop all together. But you didn't. You've been so good to this thing, so kind, you figured it's about time it did something for you. And it did. You had your first orgasm. Inside of it. You felt absolutely amazing.
You wake up to pain. And screaming. Your mother crying. Your father is angrier than you've ever seen him. It's terrifying. What the hell is going on? Your brain struggles to catch up. Your father's fist makes contact with your eye, and your remember last night. Right. Incest. You committed an act of incest. Of rape. And now you're being beaten for it. You hear your mother, full of sorrow and rage, screaming at you. "How could you do that to her?! To your own sister!?" It's funny, because that thing isn't your "sister", it isn't even your twin. Hasn't been since it fell asleep and never woke up. It's not even human, in your eyes. It's a thing. Of course, your parents wouldn't see it that way, now would they? They haven't had to spend every night in the same room as it. In the beginning they even scolded you for wanting to sleep somewhere else. They made you live with it and then they never bothered doing anything about your obviously declining mental state. So why are they so surprised? So angry? 5 years of neglecting you and they're shocked when you do something they think is bad? Your final thought before passing out is that this is their fault.
When you wake up next, you're in a sterile unfamiliar room. Your doll nowhere to be seen. A doctor sits beside you, you're afraid and confused and angry. He tells you that you're going to be staying there for a while. That you'll be getting the help you need. You're not paying much attention until he mentions your twin. You're not going to be able to see them, after what you did. You feel as though your heart has been ripped from your chest. You feel like you're dying. It's like your 8 years old all over again and you can't take it. You lash out. You attack the doctor.
The next years are a blur. You're drugged up most of the time. Hardly aware of anything except that your twin isn't around. You don't keep track of time. You don't keep track of anything. Your mind is in shambles. You think you see your parents sometimes. They're always angry at you. You want to crawl out of your skin. You want to die. You still don't speak. You won't speak. The only thing that's clear is at night, it's almost like you're back home because you can hear the thing whispering to you again. Except now, the words are clear. They want you to come find them. They forgive you, not for what you did during your final night together, no, they liked that, they forgive you for putting them in the coma in the first place. Oh. Right. It was your fault, wasn't it. But they forgive you. It's ok. They miss you.
You remember now, how it happened. You remember how you did it, but not why. The two of you had been on a camping trip with your parents. You were both exploring away from the campsite. It was nearing sunset. You had a rock. It was heavy, but small. You remember how easy it was, how satisfying it was for you to plunge it into their eye. Deeper. Deeper until they stopped screaming. They went limp. Both of you were covered in blood. Why did you do that? By the time your parents found you both, they were beyond truly saving. But you didn't know that at the time. You don't know why you did that to your own flesh and blood. The whole time, you were unaware that it was your own fault. You didn't know. You didn't realize. Why why why why why.
When you're to think clearly again, it's been ten years since the incident. You're not at home, you're not in the asylum either. You're in a hospital. It's night. Your twin is in a bed in front of you. How did you get here? You don't remember. You're holding a gun. How did you get that? Everything is mush from that final night you spent with them to now. You're different now, bigger. Taller and stronger and it feels wrong because when you look at them they still look so delicate, so frail. Why did you do it? Why did you ruin their life? You need to fix this. You stumble to them, your mind in a daze. Two bullets. Two bullets and you'll both be out of your misery. Two bullets and you'll be at peace. Shooting them should be agonizing. But it's easy, it's as easy as when you were eight and in the woods. You don't give yourself time to think about what you're doing after you shoot them. You simply aim the gun at yourself and shoot.
When you wake up, you shouldn't be waking up, but you're eight. You're in a hospital bed. Your twin is in a bed across from you. You don't remember anything. But you know that you've missed them. They smile at you like they know something you don't. It looks wrong. They look too pale. The room smells like death, old and rotting and full of dust. But they're smiling at you. And you smile too. They tell you it's been too long, that they've missed you. And you don't know what they're talking about. You finally look into their eyes. Red meeting blue. It feels wrong. Everything feels so very wrong. But you missed them too. And you're happy to be together with them. And they're happy too. All that matters is that you're together, right?
Right?
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violetsquare111 · 1 month ago
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The Dark Lord's birthday is not on october 2nd
so I was seeing a couple people also celebrating dark's birthday today. which makes sense, since that's the youtube upload date for ava3, and the date used in the flashback of ava uh.. 6 is it?
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but this gave me pause because i did a tiny bit of research earlier on the general release timeline of ava, and i'd read on the wiki that ava3 was released on a completely different date: october 4, 2011, being first uploaded on atom.com (the site of the company that helped produce ava 2 and 3, now bought by paramount/comedy central)
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now that is a drastically different date... but this is completely unsourced. do we know the actual date that ava3 was uploaded?
so i went on a web JOURNEY that i'd like to share with you all :D
tldr it's not oct 2 or oct 4. it's oct 11 2010
so the first thing i decided to check was who added that date to the wiki in the first place, and when. turns out it was an anonymous editor in 2016, not even a wiki account created... so, that's not going to get me anywhere. they didn't add a reference or any information other than just the date.
(ps you should read that 2016 version of the wiki page it's a fun janky mess lol /affectionate)
so i should just, like, check atom.com, right? well uh
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yeah okay that is definitely not the same website. WAYBACK MACHINE IT IS (god bless wayback machine)
i scoured through different atom.com pages that were archived on wayback machine and found a few different tidbits:
the atom.com main page footer was updated with a link to ava3 on september 10, 2010 exactly. that seems pretty early!
the earliest capture of ava3 itself was on october 16, 2010, and the video is listed as being uploaded on october 11. interestingly, the video here was uploaded by "JO3Y", not Alan Becker... but later captures do show it as being uploaded by alan. i have no idea what is going on there
this isn't really relevant to the question at hand but you can watch ava2 on the website and it's very clearly flash-controlled, with a cool custom-made video control bar meant to look like Windows??? that's so cool????
this is also not relevant but the original description of ava2 seems to imply that this "chosen one" was originally meant to be the same stick figure as "victim". which is clearly not canon anymore but like. woag.
JO3Y's user page as of october 14, 2010 lists ava3 as being uploaded either... 6 or 7 days ago. (for some reason there are 2 uploads?? both are the same link.) that would put ava3's release on either october 7 or october 8, 2010.
guys there was an animator vs animation actual flash game. did anyone know about this wtf. the wayback machine link is busted but i managed to find a working version here and i am going to play it RIGHT as soon as i finish writing this
none of this was ultimately very helpful, though. there's multiple different dates here, none of which correspond to the elusive october 4th, and it could've even been as early as september. there's not many captures to look at, not many saved atom pages in niche places... what to even look at now?
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oh.
oh i've been a FOOL.
the facebook link here is some kinda broken mess on wayback and also i don't know how to use facebook, so let's just check twitter. the given link is-
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holy fucking shit did twitter look like this
right well. there's unfortunately no captures of this twitter account around the time ava3 could've released, and you can't scroll to see older tweets (those pages weren't archived), so no luck here. the account itself has also since been either deleted or renamed. a link to one of the tweets would surely also be defunct, right? but let's try it...
and oh my god. OH MY GOD. the account is STILL UP it's just under a different username oh my god. CAN WE FIND THE ORIGINAL AVA3 ANNOUNCEMENT TWEET.
lo and behold, one date-filtered twitter search later, here it is:
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october 11, 2010. (and i DID confirm that was a monday)
dark's 14th birthday is coming up in a little over a week, guys...!
now, when was ava2 released? uhhhhhhhhhhhh oh hey the snipers are at my hou
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screamlet · 9 days ago
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20 questions for fic writers
tagged by no one, stolen off the dash- the numbers are outrageous because i've been writing in fandom since 2009 🫠 here's my whole ao3 profile ("back catalogue") lol.
1. How many works do you have an AO3? 144
2. What's your total AO3 word count? 1,624,724
3. What fandoms do you write for? right now: 9-1-1 and bts
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? the cleverness of me (star trek, kirk/spock) an upbeat kind of dirge (star trek, amanda/sarek, kirk/spock) visit philadelphia (hamilton, hamilton/laurens) every day is a gift that's why they call it the present (hamilton, lots of pairings) you are cordially invited (star trek, kirk/spock)
5. Do you respond to comments? not... really... for a really stupid reason! which is that my hamilton fics (especially the first two) were some of the first posted on the ao3 and the comments blew up so much i couldn't catch up and never caught up. years later, i have 3100 unread comments but i read them all the time 🥹
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? the five year mission (star trek, kirk/spock). read the tags!!! though i kind of love the comments that are like "i didn't read the tags/warning and holy shit i should have."
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? i'm a sappy romcom bitch at heart, so most of them do. off the top of my head, the most recent: what are your intentions? (9-1-1, bucktommy) and out of the woods (into your arms) (bts, namseok). i think happiest is relative to the time/agonies it took to get there and these two warm the hell out of my heart.
8. Do you get hate on fics? no thankfully.
9. Do you write smut? When The Story Calls For It
10. Do you write crossovers? not opposed to them but i haven't come across an idea where it would work.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i know of and let's keep it that way!!!!!
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? yes, mostly into russian and mandarin
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? yes!!!! but not in a long time, god knows how it would go these days because i might be more Exacting these days. or it would go great! driven outside and driven in (princess diaries 2, mia/nicholas) dexterity (star trek, amanda/sarek) 14. What's your all time favorite ship? honestly bucktommy is working its way up there because i love love love buck so much. SO MUCH. OUR SPECIAL BOY. but long term it's: kirk/spock (star trek, every version), nicke (nicklas backstrom)/ovi (alex ovechkin) (hockey rpf), and cory/shawn from boy meets world (I KNOW).
15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? i try not to post WIP's because i really avoid reading WIP's unless i trust the author. but there's one fest fic that i'm going to finish if it kills me: table for him and you and me (bts, rapline ot3). there's also an unposted bts star trek au that i haven't touched in two years that is my white whale that i have to finish one day, goddddddd
16. What are your writing strengths? dialogue, and it comes so easily, it comes first
17. What are your writing weaknesses? everything else, lol. describing people's appearances? if you don't have a visual reference, i am fucked. 18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? i don't like when it's italicized. it feels too much like making it ~exotic, but that's my own very personal and subjective opinion i don't want to argue about. AND i did it in a recent fic, so. idk. 19. First fandom you wrote for? probably lord of the rings or harry potter in the pre-ao3 days, and all of them are lost to history/livejournal 20. Favorite fics you've written? a lot of hockey rpf ones, i don't know what was in the water but i love them still (all nicky/ovi, all archive locked) the arrival of 290287 backstrom the washington royals did you ever stop to love me
my three boy meets world/girl meets world fics (cory/shawn/topanga): it's just the rest of our lives for bts: my namseok regency au, the other 100k+ fic i've written. i love it and i don't think you need to be a bts fan/namseok shipper to read it. if you like regency stuff, agony, mutual pining, childhood sweethearts to estranged husbands to reconciliation: i think you'll love it! like the ocean needs the waves (bts, namseok, 121k) and recency bias is a thing but man i love my six precious bucktommy stories i've posted. especially what are your intentions? i have a lot of long comfort fics that i've read over the years that i love going back to over and over again, and yes i wrote it but this is one of them for me (and i hope it becomes one for other people)
passing this on to anyone who wants to think about their writing at 12:30 AM! but also @waldorph @rcmclachlan @cecilyv @dadvans @liminalmemories21 @geddyqueer
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memberment · 3 months ago
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GOOD MORNING EVERYONE
So the Trinitarians brain worm is back and Morning Glory is now longer and biting the dust as far as my focus goes.
But like, I genuinely want to talk to anyone who's invested in what's to come as far as part two goes. SO PLEASE. I IMPLORE THE FOUR OF YOU WHO PERPETUALLY TAKE NOTICE OF MY SCREAMS INTO THE VOID.
We're all aware that Trin is a time loop fic. That is confirmed.
BUT THE PROBLEM IS HOW I'M GOING ABOUT DOING THAT. AND I NEED INPUT FROM PEOPLE THAT ARE NOT ME AS FAR AS PLEASES AND SPARKLES GO, YES?
Because like sure I'm writing it and like fuck everything else, let me tell my story. But it's the how of it all like if I'm gonna throw another 200 give or take hours into this I would at least like one person to be having a wonderful time drinking and driving (I have since remembered this is not a common phrase, I do not mean this in a literal sense, it's an expression) with me right?
Part two is going to be 50 chapters, give or take. (Part one is about 37 for reference.)
So the plan for part 2 rn is (ROGUHLY):
(1-10) is the second timeline. There are a lot of importants and I cannot just glaze over it all more than that. But we're also working in a bit of a shorter time period than the original events of the story and introductions do not need to happen again, right?
(11-40)ish would be me running through the next timelines in a set up structure -> what changes -> the results of said changes and then inevitably what sends our looper backwards. It wouldn't be running through all the timelines but the more notable ones in kind of a four chapter structure, I am not fully sold on four, but rough estimate yk.
And then 41-50 would be the finale of part two. It's literally the last timeline in its glory and then the epilogue which kicks off part three.
COULD AT LEAST ONE OF Y'ALL SIT THROUGH THAT OR DO YOU GUYS HAVE ANY NOTES AT ALL BECAUSE LIKE
I personally kinda like it but if not a soul is reading this I am throwing myself on the curb with the rest of the garbage LMFAOOO.
I NEED THOUGHTS. OPINIONS. COMMENTS. CONCERNS. ANYTHING.
Anyways, I'm going to work. I have off tomorrow and I broke the ff investment seal for today so insanity and updates will be here tonight and homework will be tomorrow.
HOPE EVERYONE HAS A GOOD DAY <3
(9:30) I am literally falling asleep as I lazily write this angel based on Danse Macabre. Expect all of maybe one more update tonight if the tacos I am abt to receive don't wake me up LMFAO.
Also, I am almost saddened by not having something to post tm. Anyone want an early chapter of something that isn't Genesis/Desolation bc they're both on Monday?????? (I am feeling like a menace rn)
(10:19) tacos and the absolute yap session I just had did wake me up a bit. MAAAYBE might write some more. Idk I slept like three hours last night and went to work I'm kinda dead. But we're at 98.2k!!!!!!🥳
(11:06) okay we made it to 99.6k everything besides the flashback for 31 is done. I'm about to relax and watch something and figure out mechanics of some of this because god this series is A BEAST. Like, I still have six planned chapters left.
Pure insanity. I love it here. I hate it here.
Holy shit wait I just came to the realization that I started this fic exactly one month ago. I have belted out 99.6k for THIS FIC ALONE. (Moreso if we're including future shit that hasn't happened yet)
IN ONE MONTH.
THAT IS FUCKING CRAZY WHAT HTE FUCK LMFAOOOO
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I may or may not be cooking we’ll find out in 6-26 business hours
(5:28) So I just had a very interesting past few business hours. I read a fic I've been waiting ever so patiently to finish. That's cool, right. I go for a walk at 4 in the morning because I'm insane. Fantastic. I get home at five and I'm like ohhhh well what do I do now it's not sleep time yet. Oh write I'm supposed to be drawing.
Nope I reread the epilogue of morning glory and realized Tweek's first address is for my morning glory and Craig's last sign off is your morning glory and now I'm ready to throw myself on the curb with the garbage as I sob. Someone call a trusted adult for me thanks.
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ollieofthebeholder · 7 months ago
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20 questions for fic writers
Thanks @magnetarmadda for the tag! (I'm slowly getting caught up on these.)
1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 
64 on AO3. (I have a few that are just on Tumblr that I really need to back up onto AO3.)
2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 
1,806,655 holy fucking shit when did it get that high.
3. What fandoms do you write for? 
These days, mostly TMA. I have in the past written Star Trek, Star Wars (not on AO3, it's only on my Tumblr), MCU/Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., and Cut & Run fics; I've also dabbled in a couple other fandoms, including what I am both proud and frustrated to say is still the only Mnemosyne fanfic in existence, or at least on AO3.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
leaves too high to touch (roots too strong to fall)
Had He Known It
Whiskey Lullaby
It Was Just My Imagination Telling Lies
Hurry Up and Slow Me Down
5. Do you respond to comments?
Every one!
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? 
Ooh, that's a toughie. I'm going to say Where the Road Waits to Be Taken.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Mmm...I write mostly happy endings, but probably Love Will Find Out the Way. That one's certainly the most joyous ending (so far, anyway).
8. Do you get hate on fics? 
Not since I left the super toxic fandoms.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 
Not anymore, no. I went through a period of about two years where I was writing it, mainly because I'd always been super bad at it and wanted to give it a shot, but I'm a sex-averse ace and I was always kind of iffy on it in fiction, so eventually I gave it up.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? 
I'm still working on that TMA/Night Vale story, I swear. And I've got a couple Leverage/MCU fics that will probably never see the light of day. The craziest one I've ever written is probably the now-deleted Sherlock/Star Trek AOS crossover (deleted because they were at Hogwarts and...yeah).
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? 
Not that I'm aware of.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 
See #11.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 
Once...technically. My brother wasn't old enough for his own account yet, so he dictated the story to me and I cleaned it up a bit. (So more "ghostwritten" than "co-written", maybe?)
14. What’s your all time favorite ship? 
I don't think I really have one all-time favorite ship. Lots that I will always love, but not necessarily one I'd rank above all others?
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? 
I'm not going to lie, I really want to finish the TMA "whoops this was supposed to be a oneshot" AU where everything is the same (to start with, anyway) except that Martin doesn't work for the Institute, he's a bartender at a pub that Jon stops in for a drink at and ends up falling in love with him. I just...need to figure out where the plot is going.
16. What are your writing strengths? 
Emotion. Description. Angst. Evoking the feeling my characters are feeling in the reader.
17. What are your writing weaknesses? 
I still struggle with info-dumping. And I tend to get hung up on the "perfect" way to phrase something, to the detriment of the rest of the scene.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? 
Why not?
19. First fandom you wrote for? 
I used to make up stories about the Power Rangers to send myself to sleep at night when I was, like, six. And I did technically write one down for a spelling assignment in first or second grade, so that totally counts.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
to find promise of peace (and the solace of rest), and not just because it's my most recent one.
Tagging (as always, no pressure) @astudyinfic, @accal1a, @blasphemous-lies-and-deceit, @wintersnixon, and anyone else who wants to give it a go!
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vacantgodling · 2 years ago
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15 character questions!!
thankuuuu @kudzucataclysm ily. ig i'll do this for chidorky cuz why not :D
tagging @henrike-does-writing-sometimes @magic-is-something-we-create @sarahlizziewrites & anyone else who'd like to do this :D
1 - Are you named after anyone?
No, I don't think so. I think my parents just liked the way it sounded? I never asked either of them about it, to be honest. I was always just Chidori haha!
2 - When was the last time you cried?
HmMMmm. When the mechanic shop charged me like 200 sturges(1) for their last repair part for my boots. I cried so much holy shit, that was my entire paycheck for the past three weeks. If the Bianchi's(2) weren't so good to me I would probably be homeless again, but gooood those mechanics are mean.
sturges are the currency of the world, named after the now extinct sturgeon fish :)
the Bianchi's are amehana's family, they run the medium restaurant chain BIG TOPZ CHIKIN N' SHRIMP. as they've known and cared for chidori since he was young, they look after him like family since he has none of his own :)
3 - Do you have kids?
Nah, but I don't think I'd want kids. That's more Ame's kind of thing, honestly. I can't imagine changing my life to work around someone else’s. To be there and then... potentially be gone. And then make them have to suffer alone. I mean--I've already been through something like that, so I wouldn't want to do something like that to someone who would depend on me. I like kids though! I consider myself a kid sometimes to be honest www
4 - Do you use sarcasm?
Sometimes yeah! I’d like to think I’m pretty good at it :’D
5 - What’s the first thing you notice about people?
A lot of their physical um… form? Usually I don’t pay attention to people unless i’m TMing and that’s usually so like, if something happens I know if I can get them out of harms way or not, y’know?
6 - What’s your eye color?
Ahhhhh *checks mirror* Yellow… Brown? If that’s a color? Like it’s a really light brown but there’s no green so it can’t be hazel… I dunno honestly ww
7 - Scary movies or happy endings?
BOTH! I hate movies that end with everyone being dead and sad cuz that sucks and if I want to live in a fantasy world like at least let the death mean something. I’d say the same thing about real life but sometimes death is so… meaningless. Y’know? It’s really bleak to think about. So, I don’t wanna deal with that in a movie BUT it has to be cool and action packed and a lil scary to be interesting!
8 - Any special talents?
I can break dance pretty well! I have a photographic memory of the city and all of its routes :3c
9 - Where were you born?
I dunno, to be honest. It’s something I never asked my parents about before and I don’t know if I care that much to be honest. I’m here! That’s what matters.
10 - What are your hobbies?
Break dancing, spending time with friends, ummm… Hoverboarding? I guess. I like to do stuff! So I’m willing to try anything :3
11 - Have you any pets?
Nah. I’m not home enough to take care of one, and the permit process to even Get a pet is too tedious y’know? There aren’t really many pets left around, so you have to be registered to have one and like, they can come and take your pet away from you if you’re an unfit owner and shit so like, I’d rather not deal with that.
12 - What sports do you/have you played?
I used to play air hockey(1)! It was a lot of fun but I was never like super good at it. I got cut from the team a lot, but they’d always bring me back on when they needed an extra player! I mostly enjoyed just doing it, I never really got people who cried if we won or lost? I just wanted to enjoy doing it so I did!
air hockey referring to actually using hover boots to play something akin to hockey as we know it in the air. there’s a puck that has its own magnetic field and the sticks are basically just giant magnets that keep the puck aloft.
13 - How tall are you?
5’8”? I think? I haven’t measured recently! :3
14 - Favorite subject in school?
Mm, school wasn’t really for me—like high school. But, the train academy (authors note: that i will properly name eventually…) was everything to me! I got to learn more about the history of our city, trains, combat, how to be a train master and stuff so. That I enjoyed.
15 - Dream job?
Already living it! Train master supreme baby!! :DD
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mirika · 11 months ago
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A bit late, but in November 2023 I went to Dutch Comic Con's winter edition and holy shit what a trip.
I will just summarize the whole weekend... I fucking met Elijah Wood. Holy fucking shit. Just writing this already brings me to tears.
On the first day I was dressed with mostly hobbity vibes, no real cosplay... and then on the second day as Mimi from Digimon again.
I never actually got to properly talk to anyone about my Comic Con experience, because my computer broke a little while after and it destroyed me emotionally and financially. Does not take away how special this weekend was for me though.
All weekend the Starbucks wrote my name wrong, except for one time when I went to a different one. I've been Min, Milou, Niemke...
Day one. CHAOS ENSUED. I left super early to make sure I was on-time. The schedule was clear: visit the Q&A, go straight to the hella expensive photobooth, and then finally go shopping.
And so I did! I could do a little bit of shipping in the artist alley in advance, his Q&A started at 11 am and I entered at 10 am (opening time). It was actually weird to be at opening time as I never am. The Q&A was very fun, but sadly I forgot a lot of details since my memory is awfully poor and I did not take notes, and on top of that I had to leave midway to go to the photo booth because Comic Con loves putting photo sessions right after Q&As.
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Literally missed half of it to queue in advance. I did meet a very lovely lady in the queue though, dressed as Arwen, she was a teacher in science or something like that. We chatted a lot and we are mutuals on Instagram now. Absolutely adored her. The photo turned out HELLA awkward and I never have the courage to ask for a re-shot despite paying BIG money to get a photo taken, I really hate myself for this, but if I imagine my arm away it's okay.
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I also hate how I insisted on wearing this flower crown when I should have known the background was going to be blue. Do I look nervous?I was!
After that I went on with my shopping. And look... THE RETURN OF THE ONIGIRI STAND! Fucking love these rice balls.
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Glorious rice balls filled with tuna, with a small wrapping of dried seaweed... yum yum!
I also will showcase of course the merchandise I purchased.
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A Digimon TCG gift box with a special Angewomon token, another bottle of mead like this time... again, they did not have cherry cinnamon, so this time my copium was pear cinnamon. A mini Kazuha bodypillow cuz I thought it was funny and they used his NORMAL art, not some weird spicy stuff... a bunch of buttons (the bottom left is a gift for a friend, the others are my new favourite Genshin Impact character, Lyney), a bag that has Lyney's constellation on it WHICH GLOWS IN THE DARK, two key chains also related to Lyney.
And because I still felt a little frustrated about my photo with Elijah, I could not resist buying a selfie with him as well. Also super expensive, and a bit awkward as he stayed on his side of the table, but... I love the photo so much.
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I told him... gosh I am sOBBING. I told him I wanted to come as Wilfred (which btw, on day 2 I actually found a Wilfred cosplay, IT WAS SO COOL and he told me I was the ONLY one who recognized him).
So I told Elijah I wanted to go as Wilfred instead, but alas... and you know what he told me????
"Well, you look beautiful."
I'm..................... in tears. I can't believe how someone who is technically a stranger can impact me so much. I am actually proper crying just writing about this now. Elijah fucking Wood said I look beautiful. Let's... let's move to day two.
Day two. So on this day I was again making my way to Elijah Wood's Q&A again at 11 am, and this time I took notes! Which is great as someone with potential aphantasia.
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Some notes are...
We touched upon the subject of Daniel Radcliffe and him being a bit of a meme, so he told another story on it. He was in an elevator with someone and he could see this person was building up the courage to say something. He was thinking really hard, and when the elevator opened, he yelled "Harry Potter!" to which Elijah Wood REALLY comedically replied "NO!" and it was SO funny the way he landed his story.
He also mentioned that usually when he is misunderstood for another actor, he kinda lets it slip. He does not want to break their dream. He will only say it if they specifically ask him "are you [name]?" but otherwise he goes with the flow. This has also caused him trouble though, lol.
He ended up deep in conversation with an older woman, I think in a shop. She would be like "hey I saw you on a talk show yesterday" and Elijah was basically thinking: "I was not on one yesterday, but reruns happen all the time, it must've been that" so he went on with it. However, the more she continued, the more he realized it was not actually about him, as the woman went on about how she could relate about his feelings on thanksgiving as a vegan. That is when Elijah realized that it was not about him, it was about Tobey Maguire. He was already in so deep though, he just kind-of laughed it off and hoped the conversation would just end as soon as possible. He did not want to ruin this woman's day of course, but luckily she did end the conversation soon after that, he was so relieved. He just thought it was unique he was mistaken for Tobey Maguire in this instance.
Also very important, he said STROOPwafel correctly, he said the double o in the Dutch way instead of the butchered English way. Bless him.
He also talked so much about his experience with Jim Carrey, loved hearing him talk about him. Basically confirmed Jim is a cool and funny dude.
AND OF COURSE! A fan in the audience: "I have a question. It is very important and can be career changing. [pause]. Will you wear wigs?" - EVERYONE fucking died at the spot. The way it was landed. Fucking fantastic. Bless than fan for bringing it up. It led to Elijah telling about that his wife had not seen this "interview" until recently. He went like "...babe..." in such a tone, it was fantastic.
Brainpower was his Q&A interviewer, he is really talented, love that he also brings up less popular roles. He brought many GOOD questions and notes, a lot about his acting career, but I did not take many notes on it, but we did get a fun fact about what could have been in Dirk Gently season 3. There was going to be an invisible entity that would've basically been there the whole time and there would have been interesting quarrels between Todd and his sister. Man...
Overall... Elijah Wood was a very pleasant man to listen to. He is very calm, he has a sincere kindness to him that I cannot explain. You can tell he has been in the acting business for so long, been doing Comic Con gigs for so long, he was radiating. His eyes just expressed so much friendliness. Comfort. It is odd to describe, and actually kind-of funny considering how much of a horror fan he is, that he is suck a kind and comforting person.
[breathes]
Alright. That was the Q&A. What I noticed during the Q&A was that he had a different look about him though; he had shaved. This triggered my FOMO and purchased ANOTHER expensive photo with the man.
In this photo I am about to post... you may not see it... is a very happy woman. In the queue I was building up an incredible amount of courage; I would regret it if I did not try it... I... I went in to ask for a hug.
"Can I ask a question?" ("yeah") "You can say no, but can I have a hobbit hug?" (not exact quotes, a rough memory of how it went)
And... I actually got to hug Elijah Wood. ;_; I got to receive the realest of hobbit hugs. I was too nervous to properly live in the moment, but it was a blessing. I am proud that I asked, that I had the courage, I would have really regretted it if I did not, and I'm just - ;_;
The photo was after the hug though.
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And gosh look at his face, he looks so precious and happy. I did take off my hat from the cosplay to take the photo as you can see. I'm so happy I took the opportunity and took another photo, that I dared ask him for that hug, and I am grateful for his kindness.
That is enough about him... I have more merch to show.
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This is a BEAUTIFUL postcard I bought for my bestie Jamaine. It is an astral-looking cat, and I thought it was perfect for her.
I also took a photo of merch I really wanted, but could not afford anymore.
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The image does not do it justice though, it was printed on metal and the shimmer made it GORGEOUS. There was also one with Mew and Mewtwo where it looked gorgeous because of the moon shimmering.
But lastly merch that I DID buy, including another gift for friends.
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On the left a bath bomb shaped like a d20 with an actual dice set inside. Next to that three buttons, one of Lyney, two D&D buttons (bard/warlock) and a gift button in the glowing bag that made me laugh. The plush on the right was a gift for my bestie Jamaine because it reminded me of her cat, they both look like actual void. The nerds candy string was actually a gift from an old friend from college, she worked at an American & Japanese candy stand.
I also took a bath today with this bath bomb, so it was destiny I would make my Comic Con post today. These were the dice inside:
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I love them! I was so excited when I saw them haha. These are now my cleanest dice ever, HAHA!
I also wanted to quickly post this last pic of me meeting my internet-friend June. We had never met IRL yet and I have no idea who she is cosplaying, but still!
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I was not entirely prepared for the photo haha, I am still wearing my bag, holding my phone etc... but it is what it is hahaha.
I also had onigiri again, and they finally wrote my name right in the other Starbucks than the last three times I went (I spent a lot of money on these toffee nut lattes).
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I went for Mimi because of my cosplay instead of Miri, and besides spelling it right, THEY EVEN ADDED A SMILEY. Bless 'em.
So yeah, that is a summary of possibly the best weekend of my life.
Elijah Wood... thank you SO much... for just being you. Being awesome. Reliving this by writing about it is bringing me so much joy.
— WDCC - 2023 - hobbit vibes / Mimi cosplay DCC - 2023 - no real cosplay WDCC - 2022 - scuffed Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) DCC - 2022 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) / scuffed Ellie (The Last of Us) RCC 2020 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) WDCC 2019 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) / Mimi (Digimon) ACC 2019 - no report, little happened
DCC 2019 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) / Mimi (Digimon) DCC 2018 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) ACC 2018 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) DCC 2018 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) RCC 2018 - Mimi (Digimon) WDCC 2017 - Mimi (Digimon) ACC 2017 - Mimi (Digimon) DCC 2017 - Mimi (Digimon) RCC 2017 - Mimi (Digimon) ACC 2016 - Hook (Once Upon A Time) DCC 2016 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) DCC 2015 - Sunday - Hobbit (Lord of the Rings) DCC 2015 - Saturday - Ellie (The Last of Us)
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karangarin · 1 year ago
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Get to Know My OC [tag game]
nobody tagged me. i tagged myself! bcs i'm procrastinating on drafting ipap lol!!
Transcript of Interview with Huang Xiodan a.k.a. Darren Huang.
Interviewer: Good morning, Mr. Huang. Have a seat, please.
Darren: Right here?
Interviewer: Yes. Or anywhere that's most comfortable for you.
Darren: Right. [chair scraping] Thank you. You can just call me Darren, by the way.
Interviewer: Sure, if that's your preference. Darren, I'll be asking you a few questions today. Feel free to answer them however you like.
(Darren is visibly uncomfortable. He wrings his hands together.)
Darren: Is this being recorded? For a... magazine or an article or something? If so, then sorry, I'm not interested.
Interviewer: Yes, this interview is being recorded. However, rest assured what you say in this room is strictly confidential. It will neither be published nor distributed.
(Darren appears somewhat comforted, though he still seems wary.)
Interviewer: First question.
(From this point onward, unless otherwise indicated, assume all words spoken besides the questions themselves are the words of Huang Xiaodan.)
Are you named after anyone?
Not that I'm aware.
2. When was the last time you cried?
[laughs nervously] Not holding back, huh? Uh, I don't know? Maybe... (He purses his lips.) Uh, yeah. I don't know.
3. Do you have kids?
Are you saying I look old enough to have kids to you? [laughs] I'm joking. But no, no kids. They're cute, but not interested in them. (He stares at his hands.) At least, not right now. Wait, you promise this isn't for some magazine or anything, right? Disregard my previous statement if it is.
(He calms down once I reassure him his statements will indeed remain confidential.)
Right, sorry. It's just been a while since I've done something like this.
4. Do you use sarcasm?
Sometimes. (He looks to the distance, smiling fondly.) Not as much as Naia, though. Have you interviewed her? Holy shit, I'd love to know what she said. Huh? I can't? Oh, right. Confidentiality. (He flashes a smile and cocks his head.) Not even a little? No? Aw, man.
5. What's the first thing you notice about people?
Whether they're smiling. I think you can tell a lot about someone by seeing whether they're smiling the first time they meet you. Helps me tell whether they might already like me or not. It's why Zeke gave me all the wrong vibes first time I saw him.
6. What's your eye colour?
Just basic brown. I think they're nice, though. But if I could have any other eye colour it'd be gold. Ooh, or I'd want to have heterochromia and have one eye be gold and the other brown. That'd be cool.
7. Scary movie or happy endings?
Happy endings. [pauses] Definitely happy endings. (He smiles. It is somewhat rigid.) But I've watched my fair share of scary movies because of Naia. Not my cup of tea. Let's just leave it at that.
8. Any special talents?
There's not much I can't do, you know? [laughs] That sounds like such a brag. But I am. Bragging. I can paint, waltz, sing, act, sculpt, write some impeccable Chinese calligraphy—and that's not even mentioning the instruments I can play. Piano, violin, cello, harp, flute. You name it, I can probably play it. Oh, but wanna know my coolest talent? I'm Candy Cupid. (He grins.) What's that? Oh, I'm so glad you asked. Basically, I can match people with their favourite candy. I just know. Every person has their own candy soulmate. It's like—
(He speaks at length of his Candy Cupid talent. The rest of the transcript has been cut for brevity's sake.)
9. Where were you born?
Shanghai. Beautiful place, you know? Even after moving, I went back there a lot as a kid. Wouldn't go again.
10. What are your hobbies?
I uh... [laughs sheepishly] I like knitting. You swear nobody's gonna publish this, right?
11. Have you any pets?
Nah. I'm not home a lot. Would be really mean for me to have a pet. But I'd love to have a polar bear. Have you seen them wet? They look so pathetic. It's hilarious. Don't tell Naia I called them that, though.
12. What sports do you play/have played?
I mean... you wanna hear me start bragging again? [laughs] I was trained to play any sport there is. Again, you name it, I can play it. I'm a monster at tennis, though. Dominate the court.
13. How tall are you?
Six foot one. And I swear I'm not lying!
14. Favourite subject in school?
Chemistry, no contest. Think that's pretty obvious given I literally teach it for a living. But yeah, I loved it. Still do.
15. Dream job?
Having my own app where I match people with their favourite candies. Like Tinder, you know? [laughs] No, but on a more serious note, I really enjoy being a chemistry teacher. Wouldn't want any other job. Plus, I get to bother Naia all day. So, I love my job. Which is crazy to say aloud, because who loves their job?
Interviewer: Alright, thank you—
Darren: Oh, that's it?
(He appears disappointed.)
Interviewer: Yes, that's all the questions I have for you today, Darren. Thank you for your time.
Darren: Right. Of course. No problem. It was a pleasure. (He extends his hand.)
Interviewer: Likewise.
(I shake his hand. Darren stands from his chair, pushes it back in. At the door, he bows his head slightly and smiles. He leaves the room.)
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future-boi · 11 months ago
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Thanks to
⚡️@daryfromthefuture
💘 @jowritesfanfiction
💝 @bttf-dork for tagging me!!! 🥺😭
1. First rewatch was right before watching the musical. Second rewatch was right after watching the musical... Third was recently as I'm tryna write a fanfic and had to go over some scenes but idk if it counts
2. Bttf the musical poster and vinyl record!!! It's now the second record in my vinyl collection hahaha
3. I don't drink soda 😅
4. HELL YEAH I always take the opportunity to advertise fanfic 🤩 Its about post trilogy Marty being a bit angsty about the new timeline and missing the old timeline. But it has a happy ending. I think its the closest to canon because other ones with the same premise lean so much into the angst (not that that's bad!!! Just saying it's not the same vibes as the movies u kno) Its also old but holy shit, it contains the most cathartic end to the series. The much needed closure 🤌✨️
Peace by dapperdragon
I'm so SAD cuz I don't think the author's on Tumblr? And havent posted on Ao3 in 2 years... Which sucks cuz I'm planning to DRAW THIS FIC. Or at least the ending scene 🥺💘 It wont be for a while cuz I'm tryna hone my skills and DO IT JUSTICE💪😤 but yeah next year is its 10 year anniversary that's crazy HAHA. Give it a read plz plz plz its only 1 chapter.
5. THATS TOUGH
It's so cozy and gives me all the warm fuzzies 🥰
I'm breaking the rules
BUT I HAD TO INCLUDE THIS. FIGHT ME
Anything by @cheriboms ngl HAHAHA
Ok but if I really had to choose:
Cuz it marks the start of Doctober 🥺 and like 🥺 we did that together 🥺👉👈💘💝
Also cuz its in color and sunrises/sunset always gimme warm fuzzies🥰
6. THATS ALSO TOUGH. Actually less tough. It's all under my [#personal fave] tag. But since the other was sunrise, I gotta put sunset 😁
LMAO when u link stuff, it shows ur tag line. I totally forgot I set that 🍫🍫🍫
7. BAHAHAHAHAHA... school...
8. The Wild Life (1984) I dont recommend it tho!! 😂😂😂 it has Lea Thompson and Eric Stoltz. I also checked out the one clip from that one episode on Family Ties with Crispin Glover and Micheal J Fox. I recommend that one, it's actually funny 😂
Then I checked out the clips with Tom Hanks on the show LMAO
9. Not this year, but during my American Psycho (2000) phase, I thought their undisputed masterpiece was "Hip to be Square" 🤌✨️ A song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should! Because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself--!!
HEY PAUL!!!
10. None, I don't think...
11. Hell yeah! I detailed it all on this post
12. Uh prolly once a long long time ago that I don't remember LMAO she don't talk bout it like Lorraine🤭
13. "Hey..! What the hell is this?!"
14. I got to go on both European and US trains this year. Haven't been on a skateboard since I was a tiny kid. Have never been on a horse. Never been on a DeLorean. I have run in the rain lmao. Dance? Does a concert count? My friends and I danced at one (my first one!). Never hung up a clock. Does a ukulele count? I don't think I am or ever was capable of pulling an all nighter 😂 its so weird for me to hear my peers doing it. Like??? Yall fr? Nah fam. I don't read sci fi. I don't eat fast food lmao
15. GETTING MY FANFIC DONE. Currently, it spans 6 parts and goes over the entire trilogy, complete with a Hell Valley Filler Arc! 🤭😁 but I'm working on part 1 rn and will post it while I work on part 2 and so on...
I'm also planning to draw a moment from other fanfic I adore like I've done in the past few months
Learning how to color +render my digital art would be nice!
Tagging @cheriboms
Thanks to the 3 again for tagging me! Tho @daryfromthefuture, we gotta throw hands real quick u stole who I was gonna tag😱😭😭😭😂☠️ ONLY I GET TO BOTHER @jowritesfanfiction 😤😤😤 nah jk 😁 unless 😶 nah jk jk ily i ain't hatin 😂💝
BTTF Year-End Tag Game!
This year:
How many times would you guess you watched the first back to the future movie?
Did you get any sweet bttf merch? If so, what!
How many cans of Pepsi Free did you chug this year?
What was a favorite bttf fanfic you read this year?
A favorite bttf fanart you saw this year? (please give us a link, not a screencap/repost!)
Did you create any bttf fanart or fanfic? If you did, what one(s) are you proudest of?
How many times were you late for school this year?
Did you watch any other movies/tv shows with BTTF actors in them?
Was there a memorable moment you heard a Huey Lewis song this year?
How many times did you fall down this year?
Did you get to see BTTF: The Musical? What was your experience like!
How many times did your mom retell the story of how she and your father met?
If you could describe your year in a BTTF quote, which one would it be?
⚡️LIGHTNING ROUND⚡️ Did you get to: go on any trains, skate on a skateboard, ride a horse, drive a Delorean, run in the rain, go to a dance, hang up a clock, play the guitar, pull an all-nighter, read science fiction, or drive thru Burger King this year?
Your future is whatever you make it! So what are you going to make of this coming year?
I tag: @agentmcfly24601 @moonlightandstarshimmer @brinkle-brackle @bg-sparrow @bttf-dork @mrfutureboy @pepsifox88 @tsukinikawatteus @itsthemorph @synthsays and anyone who would like to answer these questions! as always, no pressure!
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msmarvelouswinchester · 4 years ago
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Chan's 500 Followers Celebration
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A few days days, I hit 500 followers milestone and trust me, I still can't believe it! It's a really big thing for me so I decided to hold a little challenge!
Now, the challenge has three parts. You can either participate in all three or you can participate in one of them.
A Writing Challenge
My blog is a fanfic blog so what is better than holding a writing challenge for the celebration!
Rules :
You don't have to follow me to participate in this challenge (anyone can participate but it will be better if you follow me afterall this is a followers challenge)
Since I mainly post about SPN, I have decided to keep this challenge about SPN only. The characters you can write about - Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki. I will accept reader inserts, OFCs, sister!reader, daughter!reader, no-pairings.
There is a list of 25 prompts. You can choose one from the list and send me an ask.
You can write any genre - Smut, Angst, Fluff, Crack. Just remember to tag appropriately. You can also combine it with other challenges. You can write a oneshot or a series. Whatever you want, go nuts!
Limitations - Underage smut, bathroom stuff, knife kink, incest, and ships like destiel and wincest (just not my thing)
Minimum word limit is 500 but no max. word limit. Just remember to add a keep reading feature after 500 words.
The deadline for the submission of the fic is 31st December.(but if you need more time, just let me know) Tag me in the A/N of the fic and use the tag #chans500followerscelebration. In case I don't get to your fic within 3 days, send me an ask or a message because sometimes tumblr tagging system sucks!
Now the prompts but hold on.....there is a little twist in this. You can not only write a fic yourself but you can also send me a fic request with one of the prompts. Choose a prompt and send me an ask with the pairing and the genre you want (smut, fluff, angst) - it doesn't matter if two person send the same prompt or if the prompt is already taken by someone for writing a fic of their own.
Exceptions : I don't write ABO dynamics and I am still a fledgling in the smut genre so maybe try to keep the smut requests to minimal.
Characters I will write for - Jensen Ackles, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Jared Padalecki. I will accept reader inserts, OFCs, sister!reader, daughter!reader, no-pairings.
Prompts :
1. Pick me. Choose me. Love me. @jensengirl83
2. I asked them if they wanted to embarrass you, and they instantly said yes.
3. How was I such an idiot, to believe that you, out of all people, could ever love me? @fablesrose
4. I don’t think my heart can take watching you love someone else again. @roonyxx
5. Sometimes I want to punch you and other times I want to kiss you.
6. You were like coming up for fresh air. It's like I was drowning and you saved me. @miss-nerd95
7. For me, it was enough. @jay-and-dean
8. Sometimes I wish I’d never met you.
9. That’s almost exactly the opposite of what I meant.
10. If it’s not broken, try again. We’ll find a way to get around this.
11. It doesn’t matter what I have to say if you’re not going to hear me out. @thinkinghardhardlythinking
12. I know this couldn’t have been more horrible of a time to say I love you, but it’s true.
13. But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up.
14. Cause all of my enemies started out friends.
15. Remember how I said I'd die for you. @spookytaylors
16. Why'd I have to break what I love so much?
17. We're happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time. @hardcoresupernatural
18. I've found time can heal almost anything.
19. What? Does that feel good?
20. If you thought that was your birthday present, then you’re in for a treat.
21. Did I stutter? Do as you’re told! @jawritter
22. Would you shut up and kiss me already? @flamencodiva
23. Are you trying to turn me on or are you just that oblivious? @downanddirtydean
24. The worst thing is, that even after all of that, I’m still in love with you. @holylulusworld
25. I think I’m in love with you and i don’t know what to do. @itsangelpie
Blog Rates -
This is exclusively for my mutuals.
Send me a 🌹 to get a blog rate.
URL - | I don't understant it | nice | AWESOME | YOU MUST BE CHUCK TO COME UP WITH SUCH SHEER BRILLIANCE |
ICON - | Assbutt | hella fine | FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC| Perfection AKA Jensen Ackles |
THEME - | Apocalypse | so good | HOLY SHIT | Chuck's finest creation |
ORIGINAL CONTENT - | metatron | wow | OH MY CHUCK | DID YOU SELL YOU SOUL FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL CONTENT? |
Random Compliment -
Tagging some people who I think would like to participate or maybe just give a signal boost - @rightontheborderz @miss-nerd95 @roonyxx @jensengirl83 @spookytaylors @flamencodiva @jawritter @deanwanddamons @fablesrose @akshi8278 @holylulusworld @jay-and-dean @whatareyousearchingfordean @deanmonandnegansbitch
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Rumors: 12
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Disclaimer: Hi everyone! Here is the new and fresh update!  I just watched DJ and WTF! I’m not going to be saying anything... but holy shite buckets. Chris Evans is just WOW. 
Anyways, I hope y’all enjoy this chapter. It’s a fun one to write!
Chapter warnings: There is smut in here. 
Masterlist of Mini Drabbles and Series
Rumors The Series:
Rumors: 6  Rumors: 5  Rumors: 4  Rumors: 3  Rumors: 2  Rumors: 1
Rumors: 7 Rumors: 8 Rumors: 9 Rumors: 10 Rumors: 11 <---- (Recent Chapter)
**
 Chris woke up to the sounds of light snores. Frowning to himself, he looked down, and his heart swelled. There you were, arms tucked against your chest, and snuggled in close to his chest. Little stragglers of hair sprawled against your delicate face. 
    Chris reached down and tucked some away from your face. 
"How can anyone do such a thing to you?" Chris said to himself. 
You moved just a smudge and let out a light moan, which made him giggle. You moved again, and you opened your eyes slowly. 
"What time is it?" You asked. Chris smiled and looked at his watch. 
"2:34 am," He said. Your eyes widened and tried to sit up, but Chris held you down.
"What about Dodger?" You asked. Chris let out a giggle. 
"My brother is at the house," Chris said. You let out a sigh of relief and snuggled in more towards him.
"Well, in this case, don’t leave?" You asked, throwing you arm around his waist and your legs tangled in his.
"Well, I can’t right now, because I'm tangled," Chris mumbled and placed a kiss onto your lips. 
** 
"You have got to be kidding me, Y/N! A date?" You heard Nat tell over the phone, which caused you to pull the phone away from your ear. You waited until she was done, and placed the device back to your ear.
"Done?" You asked. Nat sighed
"Yes, but with that, Chris guy? Did you tell Steve first?"Nat asked. You rubbed your eyes and sighed.
"No, I thought I tell you first before I get chewed out." You said. Nat sighed again.
"Well, I don’t know what to tell you," Nat replied.
"But he should be understanding Nat. I deserve to be happy, after all the shit I've been through." You said. 
"Alright. I gotta get back to work."
You both hung up and rubbed your eyes. 
    Your students were out for the long weekend, and you were cleaning up the room since you wouldn't be here on Monday. As you put away some of the toys, your phone buzzed, and you went to pick it up. You thought it would be Chris and didn’t bother to check the screen until you heard that familiar voice. 
"Um, hi, honey." You heard. You almost hung up when he begged you to stay on the line. 
"Fine! What do you want Andy?" 
"I wanted to see how you are doing? Everything okay?" He asked. You sighed and rolled your eyes. 
"Yes, everything is okay with me. How about you? Work treating you well? How's that woman of yours?" You asked. 
"Honey, let's not talk about that. I called to make sure you are okay and not to fight." Andy said sternly. 
"And I'm fine, Andrew," You said, and hung up. You let out a frustrated growl and went to pack up and leave. 
    Before you went home, you stopped by the market, do some grocery shopping. You picked up some fruits in season, bread, wine, some pasta, and some ground beef. 
   Pulling up the driveway, you saw a familiar pup sitting on the driveway. You smiled and parked the car. Grabbing your things, you got out and headed to the front porch, and Dodger’s tail started thumping away against the wall. 
"Hey bubba, where’s your daddy?" You asked, and noticed that he had a note attached to his collar.
Hi,
I thought I'd give you a friendly note. I just went out to do an errand and thought Dodger might keep you company for a bit. I'll see you tonight, and I can’t wait. Miss you. 
Chris
Dodger looked at you with puppy eyes, and you gave him scratchies behind his ears. The pup gave a little bit of a whine and liked your face. 
“Well, it looks like I’m babysitting you for a bit.” You said, getting up and opened the front door. You let Dodger in first, and you went in after. You went to the kitchen and found Dodger sniffing around the dining area.
“Sorry buddy, you dad didn’t leave me any treats for you. But do you like chicken? I have some?” You asked the pup. Dodger stopped what he was doing and sat in front of you. 
“Huh, I guess your daddy likes to give you some chicken then?” You said, going to the fridge and took out some cold cooked chicken breast. You cut a few pieces off the bone and chopped them into medium size cubes. Placing it into a bowl, you placed it down, and Dodger waited for his command. You looked at the pup and smiled.
“Go on, bubba.” You said, and he went after the chicken. While Dodger ate, you put away your groceries and placed your school stuff into your mini office downstairs. 
**
Later the evening, Dodger by your side and you get ready for the date tonight. You wore a pair of dark blue leggings, a pink shirt, and a grey sweater. Then going into your closet, you took out a couple of wedges, and took a seat on the bed. While you placed your shoes on, Dodger’s head perked up and ran down the stairs. He barked at the door, and you went down and turned on the porch light. Opening the door, Dodger cried and went to his dad. You let Chris in, and along with his brother to get Dodger. Chris handed you a bouquet. 
“Chris, you didn’t have too.” You say as you smelled the fresh scent of roses. 
"Well, it is kind of a date?" Chris said, shrugging his shoulders. You giggled and went to the kitchen to get a vase for the flowers. 
"So, is this a college party?" You asked. Chris laughed and leaned against the counter. 
"It’s for my best friend’s birthday, Tara," Chris said. You nodded and placed the flowers into the vase with water. 
"Cool, ready to go?" You asked, Chris nodded and held out his hand. You smiled and took his hand into yours. Chris kissed the top of your hand and led you towards the front. 
You locked the door and headed to Chris's Audi. Once you both settled in, Chris started the car and drove down the road. 
**
The drive took 20 minutes, and it went by fast. To keep things comfortable, You and Chris talked. He told her stories about his movie sets, the actors he worked with, and many other things. You also learned that he went to the same elementary school as you: the same teacher, but a different year. 
    As he parked, something has caught your eye—a familiar black Audi SUV. You pushed the thought to the side and thought it was just another one in a million ordinary cars. 
"Is everything okay?" You heard Chris ask. You shook your head and looked towards him.
"Nothing thought I saw my brother." You say, smiling at him. Both got out, and Chris took your hand into his. He laced his hand with yours and walked toward the restaurant and bar. 
The hostess brought the two of you towards the back, and you met with loud chatter and a bunch of f-bombs. 
"Chris, you made it!" You heard a woman say. He let go of your hand and went to hug her. You watched Chris pull away, placed his arm around you. 
"Tara, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is my best friend since I was five years old." Chris said. 
"Well, I finally get to meet you! This idiot can’t stop talking about you. Come on, let's get you a drink." Tara said, pulling you away from Chris. You looked at him, and he gave you a reassuring look. 
     Getting to the bar, Tara asked what drink you like, and you asked for a Vodka Sprite. While you waited, you looked around, and you had this weird feeling inside of you. You couldn't make out why or explain to yourself the feeling. Pushing the impression to the side, you saw Tara coming toward you and handed you your drink.
"So, Chris tells me you used to live in Newton. What made you move to Concord?" Tara asked. 
"I had a lot of issues with the faculty at the school I was working at. And I needed a change of scenery." You say, not wanting to tell the whole story. 
"Well, I'm glad. Chris is crazy about you." Tara said as she leads you to the back. 
**
The night went on, meeting most of his friends that he went to high school with, and he learned a lot of things about him. (Good things) 
   While you stood next to Chris, sipping on your second drink, chatting that weird feeling came back to you. This time it bothered you. You couldn’t pinpoint it until you turned around. Your heart stopped, and that sharp prickly feeling in you. Two tables separated you from Andy, but it felt like he was close. 
    You saw him, take a step forward, and you panicked. You then turned towards Chris, placing your hands onto his collar and pulled him down to you. You looked at him and laid your lips onto his. You caught Chris by surprise, but he gladly accepted it. You felt his hands onto the sides of your face and held you in closer to him. 
    You both pulled away, and your foreheads were touching—Chris's thumbs caressing your cheeks. 
"Is everything okay?" Chris whispered. You sighed and nodded. Then placing his arms around you, Chris held you in his embrace. 
You knew Andy was still standing in the same place. After all, you can feel his eyes burning against you because, and at this point, you didn’t care. 
"Want to get out of here?" Chris asked a few minutes later. You nodded, and he went to say bye to Tara and the rest of his friends.
   You were walking through the crowded restaurant, holding onto Chris's hand tightly. As you walked, you can hear your name. Andy was calling for you, and you chose to ignore it. But he was persistent. By the time you reached the outside, he had yelled your name. Both you and Chris turned around. At this point, you were boiling with anger. Chris took a step forward, but you held him back. 
    Then you walked up to Andy. He looked at you, then at Chris, and back to you.
"Who is this? Is this someone you just met and leaving with him?!" Andy yelled. You were now full-blown mad. You wanted to slap him in the face, but you decided against it. 
"Excuse me," You heard Chris say. You turned around, and Chris stood in front of you and held you back.
"I don’t mean to be interrupting here, but you are Andy Barber?" Chris asked. Andy looked at him, and his blue eyes became dark. 
"Yes, I am. That woman you’re leaving with is my wife." Andy replied. Chris looked at him for a moment and laughed.
"Wow, you mean this beautiful lady behind me? Last time I checked, was shes separated from a lying bastard." Chris said.
You noticed Chris's hands were curling into fists. You couldn’t let the two boys argue, and have it on the internet, especially for Chris. So, you gently placed your hands onto Chris's.
"It’s not worth it." You told Chris. His body loosened, but his jaw remained tight. 
"Don’t go near her again," Chris said and turned around. Taking you with him and walked away. The moment, you and Chris got into the car. Your phone started to ring. You picked it up and turned off your phone. 
**
You looked out the window, as Chris drove the 20 minutes home. It was late, and the moon was glowing brightly on this Friday night. The only noise that can be heard was the music playing softly in the background. You thought of what happened earlier, and you couldn't believe that out of all places, Andy had to be at the same place you were at. Was he spying on you? Did he use his lawyer magic and found out what you were going to do tonight?
   You were lost in your thoughts when you were disturbed with the feel of Chris’s hand on your thigh. Without looked, you placed your hand down and laced your fingers with his. His thumb rubbed the softness of your skin. 
A few minutes later, Chris pulled up into the driveway, and he parked the car. Both got out and went to his front porch. 
“Chris, I’m sorry you had to see that.” You said, feeling embarrassed with Andy’s actions. Chris walked over to you, placed his hands onto your cheeks. 
“No need; it was only a matter of time that I would have to meet the bastard, right?” Chris said, placed a kiss onto your forehead. 
You bit your lip, because the way he stood up for you, made you turned on. Your whole body started to heat up, and you haven’t had sex in god know how long. You reached up to your tippy toes and placed a kiss onto his lips. 
“I need you,” You whispered against his lips.
**
The front door opened and slammed shut. Chris’s hands on your waist and kissing you deeply. He nailed you against the front door, and your clothes went flying and left you in your panties and bra. His cold hands, against your hot skin, making you moan. Your hands fiddled with his button-up shirt. His lips went down your jaw, leaving a trail of warm, wet sloppy kisses to your neck. 
    His tongue grazed along your neck as he inhaled your delicious scent of peaches and vanilla. You finally got his shirt off, and his pants slid down his legs. Kicking them to the side, Chris bent down and lifted you into his strong arms. Your legs wrapped around his waist, and he carried you towards the kitchen. He sat you down onto the counter, and his lips found you again. 
    Chris placed more wet, sloppy kisses down your neck, and down to your covered breasts. He cupped them, into his hands and toyed with the tips of your nipples. You bit your bottom lip and let out a small light moan. His fingertips grazed against your skin and unhooked your bra. Throwing it to the side, 
    His mouth latched onto on, and his tongue swirled, sucked, and pulled away with a pop. Chris looked back at you and continued his journey down to your stomach. He was leaving hot kisses, sucking your flesh. Leaving trails of kisses down towards the hems of your panties and slid them off. 
    His fingers ran along with your glistering center, and Chris let out a low growl. You moaned lightly as he dipped in, and his mouth ravished your dripping core. Your hands ran along with his soft fluffy hair, and you let out a loud moan, calling out his name. 
“What the fuck?” 
Both you and Chris froze, and you quickly covered yourself with your arms. Chris pulled away from you and stood between you. 
“Uh, hi, Scott?” Chris said speechless. You felt your face start to burn with embarrassment, and you hid your head, between his shoulders. 
“Dude, you should know that I’m home,” Scott said, crossing his arms against his chest and leaned against the doorway. 
“Yea, well-” 
“If you want, you can hang out at my house. I have it fully stocked with booze?” You interrupted Chris. Scotts eyes lit up and pushed himself off the doorway. 
“Really?” Scott asked. 
“Yea, my bag is somewhere in a mess in the front. Scott went to the front, and the front door opened, “And don’t forget to bring Dodger!” 
Dodger ran to the front after Scott called out for him. The door closed, and you looked at Chris for a moment. You burst out into laughter, and Chris followed. 
“Well, that was unexpected,” Chris said, placing his hand against your still, dripping cunt. You let out a hiss as his thumb rubbed your aching bud. You moaned and threw your head back, as he continued his assault on your clit. 
Chris placed his fingers into your core, and you hissed again. The stretched and burn hurt a bit from not having sex in months, but it added to the pleasure. Slowly, Chris began to thrust into you, feeling the roughness against your walls. You haven’t felt this feeling in a long time, and you came fast. Your back arched and your body started to heat up. You came soon into his fingers, and you quickly felt terrible. You felt your face burn. Chris notice and cupped your face into his hands. 
“I’m sorry, it’s been-”
“It’s an okay, sweetheart. I’ll take care of you.” Chris whispered against your lips. 
**
Your back laid onto the cold, grey marbled counter. Your hands gripped onto the flat top, to the point of your fingertips, turning white. Your eyes rolled back, as Chris pounded into you. Your creamy legs rested onto his shoulders and your ass hanging at the edge of the table. Echos of your flesh can be heard, loud moans, and profanities. 
    Chris pulled out and brought you down. He scooped you into his arms and carried you to the couch. Laying you down, gently Chris crawled towards you and entered you. You let out another hiss, as he stretched you. More tears slid from the sides of your eyes. Chris caught them with his fingers. He bent down and placed a gentle kiss onto your forehead. 
“I got you babe-” He whispered and continued to thrust into you. Your breathing became heavy, and little moans came. You looked into his blue eyes and smile. 
Your arms snaked around his neck and your legs around his waist. Chris went in more profound, and you moaned louder. He was thrusting in and out of you, feeling him hit every spot inside of you. You screamed, cried, and cursed as Chris hit your spot. 
   You knew you were close when your walls clenched onto his cock. Chris looked deep into your eyes as his thrust became harder. 
“Chris-” You mumbled. Your body heat, that familiar rush came over you, and your back arched. Your head went back, as your hands gripped onto the back of his head and releasing your orgasm. You fell back down, breathing deeply, and panting. Chris continued to thrust into you and sped up his pace. His hips slapped against you, and you felt another orgasm rising again. 
“That’s it, sweetheart, come with me,” Chris mumbled. Yours heals dug against his back, and Chris went in deeper. His thrusts slowed, and you came. You felt the hot ribbons of his seed, coating your walls. 
Chris pulled out and kissed both of your eyelids, then to your nose, and finally to your lips. 
“Are you okay?” He whispered, placing another soft kiss on your lips. You were still in a daze, and all you can do was nod your head. Grabbing the blanket above him, he placed over both of you. Wrapping his arms around you and your legs tangled together. 
     As Chris held you, you couldn’t help but tear up. It wasn’t because you were upset or anything. You felt this new feeling inside of you, the feeling of love and trust. And that’s something you haven’t felt in a long time.
**
@jtargaryen18 @patzammit @star-spangled-beard-burn​ @icanfeelastormbrewing​ @what-is-your-plan-today​ @official-and-unstable-satan​ @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​ @shellbilee​ @kellymat​ @kelbabyblue​ @iguessweallcrazyithinktho​ @shikin83​ @princess-evans-addict​ @princessofdarkwinter​ @captainchrisstan​ @charmed-asylum​ @cinefine​ 
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risingphoenix761 · 6 years ago
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21 SPN Themed Questions
I was tagged indirectly by @sis-tafics ✌
1. When did you start watching Supernatural?
The beginning! We kept up with it really well up until mid season...5? 6? Work happened around then and we were never home when it was on, but I stayed involved in it via internet until I got caught up, then started keeping up again during 12.
2. Who is your favorite in TFW?
Not fair. They've all got something to them. Once upon a time I might have been able to make this decision, but no can do. I love Dean's dedication to family, Sam's compassion for everyone, Cas's loyalty...I love all of them! Don't make me choose!
3. Who is your least favorite in TFW?
DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE! They could all stand to be a little less stubborn, if you ask me, and the writers could really quit making shit decisions with them but I digress
4. Tag your top 5 Supernatural blogs
@bamby0304 @kittenofdoomage @kingofthecrxssroads and... Actually, I think most of the blogs I follow are SPN-ish, so...
5. Who is your favorite character (not including TFW)?
Hmm. Lemme think.
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6. Who is your favorite woman in Supernatural?
Uhhhhh....
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Or
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Though I dearly love Jo and Meg 2.0 (which is some first class irony)
7. John or Mary?
Is that even a question?
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8. What were your first opinions of Sam, Dean, Cas, and Jack?
Dean - he's cute. I bet my sister already has a crush on him.
Sam - holy crap, he's tall! And he's a nerd like me!
Cas - did he just say angel? What the hell!
Jack - what the hell! This can't be good!
9. What's your favorite season?
Tough one. Gotta be a toss up between 5, 6, and 8
10. What's your least favorite season?
Also a tough one. Not a huge fan of 11, and I've been endlessly bitter and frustrated since the end of 12
11. Opinions on Destiel?
There's been hints, jokes, and subtext for years, so they might as well make it canon already. At this point, though, it would only be continuing to fuck with the shippers because of Cas's Buffy rip-off deal with the Empty. Personally, I just want to see something good happen to them, and they can't live without each other, so however they get to be happy is fine with me. Except there's that deal, which leaves Cas screwed, which ultimately screws Dean over, and I dunno, am I getting annoyed with the writing lately? Moving on.
12. Do you believe Supernatural queerbaits?
Lately? They're getting very close, at the very least
13. Seasons 1-7 or 8-14?
Is that even a question? The early years for me, thanks.
14. Favorite villain (plot wise)?
HMM. LEMME THINK.
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15. Do you think they should end the Lucifer plot line?
Yeah? Awhile ago? We got Jack out of it, and you're taking that precious cinnamon roll away over my dead body, but how much more can they get out of him without it feeling ridiculous? Now if we had different writers with some fresh ideas, who knows, but alas
16. Who do you think has gone through more trauma (Sam, Dean, or Cas)?
Can't answer that one. Sorry.
17. What's your favorite Supernatural episode?
Oh shit... Yellow Fever, Mystery Spot, Weekend At Bobby's, The French Mistake, Swan Song, Sacrifice, First Born, Fan Fiction to name a few.
18. Do you like case episodes?
Does Dean like pie?
19. Who do you relate to most in TFW?
Again, that's hard to answer. That's one of the things I find most appealing about the show, is how relatable the characters are. I see my own best and worst in their best and worst, and that's pretty cool. It also sucks on occasion, but that's okay.
20. Why do you like Supernatural?
See above answer in terms of relatability. Also, the heart of the show has always been things that are really important to me, like family, loyalty, courage, and hope. It's why this show is always my go-to. Yeah, horrible things happen and they rarely make sense and there's always pain and grief and trauma, but there's also those other things, and they're worth holding onto.
21. If you could bring back one character and kill off another who would they be?
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The list is very likely that long. Lol. And I don't want them dead, exactly, but I can live without the hunters from the apocalypse world. That includes AU Bobby and Charlie. Ours are on that list!
Tagging anybody and everybody that wants to do this!
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i-got-bored · 9 months ago
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out of fear: here you are quick thing: this isnt going to be some amazingly profound "today i'm the doctor's therapist" thing - it was a ramble in my journal done at 2 am. also the way i speak of the doctor's incarnations comes across as seeing them as separate people, but ofc ik they're the same and will share similar trates (biodata and all that) besides that, enjoy:
the Doctor as a whole: - i love them so much oh my god - the fact that no matter the incarnation they are always an entity created and living through grief
9 is a PTSD grief; he's just returned from a war where his planet and two races were all destroyed by him. Then he finds this girl who made his life so much better and he loves and ends up giving his current self to save, destroying himself for love. He appears as this threatening asshole but just one layer under he's a silly loveable sweetheart who just desperately wants to find a distraction and a way for him to feel deserving of life after what he did - so he does the opposite; going around and helping people and making himself worthy.
10. God. 10. 10 was created through said love, but then losing that love and being the embodiment of trauma and loss. A loss that forbade his emotions to just exist so he buried it below humour and a distant personality. Always hiding a deeper part of himself behind something. No one (other than maybe Wilf and/or The Master) had ever seen the true 10. And when he believed himself to die - he finally realises how much of himself he had hidden. Yelling "i could've been so much more!" and holds himself as he absorbs deadly radiation to save another because despite everything, 10 will always end up alone. And in his final moments he visits the girl who his love for was cause for his existence and regenerates in regret and melancholy.
11, after his ordeal of regret as 10 decides to live his life to the fullest - he'll fufill this little girl's dreams of travelling the stars with the man she loves, he'll do anything for them to stay alive together and he'll save whoever he can. he meets the wife he had mourned as 10 and realises "holy shit - this woman is my wife for a reason" and he loves her and this time allows himself to feel this love. And when he regenerates in contrast to 10 clinging onto himself, he's content with who he is and who he was. He still went through shit but i still think he was the happiest he had been for a while.
12 - a man who recovered from emotional suppression (close enough at least) and immediately falls back into it - but in a "fuck it, we ball" kinda way. in a "i've gone through too much to be sad" kinda way. He's with a girl who - whether its good for her or not - is a perfect match for him (/p). Shes up for anything crazy and will always bring him back down to earth. He hadn't known someone like this since Rose. And the Mater comes back, but this time, somethings different. Because shes not trying desperately to kill him. Their previous relationship having been him clinging onto the Master, despite him wanting the Doctor dead; now they have a sort of neutral agreement with each other - a kknowledge that they're the last of their kind and maybe their co-existence could work. And then he again, loses this girl who fit him like a damn puzzle piece and it bloody hurts. So after a few billion years of trauma (those eps are wild ) he makes a vow which he instantly breaks as soon as he meets the right person again who is then also lost to him. like goddamn give the guy a break ;o;
i dont have much on 13 bcs i got tired but i lover her so much. She was loved so much yet went through the grief of losing her people and homeworld for a second time - continuing this cycle of grief. but after it all, after going through such similar losses to 10 and having had the option to deal with them in the exact same way, she regenerates content after having taken the woman she loves (dont @ me, yaz x 13 forever)to see the most beautiful sight at the time of writing i hadnt seen the 2023 eps yet and i dont really have much material to work with other than 14 needs therapy and 15 is going to be amazingly untraumatised (still hoping for my angsty man in the box tho)
i wrote a 6 page 'essay' in my journal about my opinions of different Doctors - would anyone be interested in them lmao?
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