#holy shit guys. if i name it witney then i can hold witney so gently……..

[thatone-highlighter]

The little guy in question:

[maldito-arbol]

HELLO CHAPTER 7 HELLO WHAT DIE

“Run, Marcy, run, while you still can. She is not worth the risk. Strength is not worth…” (HELLO!??!?? BESTIE NO PLEASE IM GOING TO CRY)

She can only take Witney in her hands and hold her tight. (HOLD HER SO SO GENTLE PLEASE SOBBING)

A little cold, solid form presses against the side of her curled fist. 

 “Marcy,” she whispers. “Hold me?” (Hello i am a broken man now i cannot deal with this)

Witney trembles in her palms. “Marcy,” she says again, she must like saying her name now, and even that hurts. “You cared about me.” And it sounds like she’s crying too, even though she has no tears to do so. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” (Hi did you know i hate everything forever and ever now)

She holds her out to just look at her, as if to look her in the eyes despite only one existing between them.(shkfifhshdbgkjdhshd)

“You wish to protect…me?”(witney‘s fav hobby is saying the most fucked up things like they’re so so normal i think)

“It-it—has been so long. So long and hard and painful. I hadn’t had a vessel in so long, I…I almost thought, ‘it’s okay if they continue to hurt me. It’s better than being alone.’”(guys what if i just go and become a marcy kinnie instead and just hold her so so gently forever and ever and tell her i love her all the time and protect her from everything ever)

“I know you loved Heart,” she begins, nervous, careful. “But did you…ever love Strength too?”

 There’s a grunt that sounds angry. “That was one of my many, many mistakes.” (This is the one time k will accept any Strength slander. Its funny and Witney deserves it i think especially after it calls her stupid so much)

. “Lovesick little idiots, the both of us.”

 “You cannot call yourself an idiot.”

 “Sure I can—„ (so true bestie. I dont know wjat it is about this bit but. Oughhh

“Marcy, you are the greatest library I have ever had.”  (🥺)

 

And maybe being a good vessel shouldn’t be some kind of an achievement, but…right now it feels like she’s winning. (Marcy: i got a good grade in gem vessel, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve)

“Why would you instigate your own death when you can just run away?”(witney: why die when you can just run to another country and change your name. Just leave. If you dont like it hit da bricks)

SO TRUE WITNEY im glad she gets to enjoy marcy shit talking barrel as well good for them both

“I think,” Marcy murmurs, hugging herself now. “The general consensus we can come to here is that nothing went our way and everything sucks.” (So so true bestie i got it down oat Everything Went So Wrong In Every Way)

If you thought Marcy’d blame herself for my injuries, imagine what’s going through her head when you say shit like whatever the fuck that sack of turds was that you just spat at me.”(That Certainly Is One Of The Explicatives Ive Ever Heard. Definitely A String Of Words Huh)

I think that witney and marcy should get to have fun and be silly. Theyre sl cute i love themmmmmmm. I swear if this goes south fucking immidiately im going to cry theyre so happy rn with their silly little library ideas,,,,,,,,,,,,

HOLY SHIT BRENTON IM SCREAMING THIS IS SO COOL

SOBBING THE BELOVEDS

WITNEY PROBOUNS WITNEY PRONOSUDBDJHSVSVDBFB

“That’s what it always seems like at first,” he snaps quickly. “You get lured in by that protectiveness, that surface-level kindness, and then when it’s done with you, it’ll drop you like dirty laundry.” His tone is devastating, but somehow, with this new information, Marcy feels even more implored to defend the pink gem. (You know what maybe i Will become a Marcy kinnie. Super nice to Witney all the time and holds him so so gently. Defends Strength. Gets headaches from a hole in her mind. Shes just like me frfr)

WOAHHHHHH the mentaö image of this library is So Cool- OH NO EVIL EYE KILL IT

“Isn’t it remarkable what you can accomplish when I bully you into it?” Brenton tells her with a smirk. 

 “You’re a dick,” she shoots back, playfully shoving him.(abkfjfhshshjdjfjd witney,,,,,,,,, i think that witney deserves to be alittle bit of a dick sometimes. Hes earned it)

So what, you just gonna keep being Brenton now?”

 He hums through more laughter. “I did miss it. I think I’d like to stay like this a little longer.” (POV ur witney and i get ur first taste of gender euphoria from a plant)

K MART SO REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Salom,,,,,, that such a cute name,,,,,,,,,

“In fact it was Barrel’s fiancée who taught me how, and she taught me to read his little secret language too.” (🥺🥺🥺 THATS SO CUTE WEIF BELOVED I LOVE THEM )

“By the time I grew knowledgeable enough to comprehend the content of this book, I could no longer bring myself to read it.”(TRADGEDY STRUCK NO SAD BABY :(((((( )

He simply sighs. “Well. Me and Heart did.” And this is news to Marcy. “Before Sasha, Strength only had one vessel. And she was a frog.”

 One?

 One vessel? Witney had 58 and Strength only had one? (hmmmmmmmmmm. I may. Come back to this later. This one got me like 👀 . Im gonna be so normal about this one bestie dont WORRY about it)

“I am to blame for the way Strength lost her.”

 There’s a silence. This time, Marcy knows not to ask. She won’t make a peep. 

 “I don’t think I regret it,” he admits, shamefully. “But I also wonder sometimes if anything would have changed had I not pushed her over the edge.” (WHAT HELLO WHAT I AM 👀👀👀 IM. Bestie i am THINKING. What did you do to weif i am going to Kill you)

They meet her eye, the fire in it boring a hole into their blue oceans. “I…” they start again, dry, hesitant, terrified. “…I’m sorry.” They just barely manage to get it out. Marcy nods vigorously, a gesture to keep going. “Very. For a lot of things. And I…love…you…?”(SCREAMING CRYING GOING TO BREAK A WALL RIP EVERYTHING TO SHREADS HOLY SHIT. HEART?!!??!!! WHY IS IT A QUESTION IM GOINH TO KILL SOMEONE FUCK)

He he. Silly word association. Dont mind me having a little giggle over the fact Heart says theyre the agile one when we had Agility as a Wength kid…

“I am yours. All yours, always and forever.”

 Her head shakes. She begins weeping all over again. “You’re not.”

 “what—”

 “I cannot tell you that, Heart,” she fires back, a sob in her throat. “I am your love, not your king.” (SCREAMING CRYING STABBING YOU RN. I am going FREAL right now Heartney My Beloveds hnnnnnnnnnnn)

Oh hmmm i forgot about the spell pouches. I was gonna be like i wonder what thats like on the gems side but theey just kinda wake them up so they can take control dont they. Nvm.

Uhm on second thought maybe theres more to it then that what rhe Fuck just happened. Side note Anne‘s unconcious body is just In The Field now what are they planning to do to get her back to bed. Im sure this will work out perfectly

Nooo WAIT BUT IF IT GETS RID OF HEART THEN WHAT ABOUT WITNEY TOO NO WAIT BUT WITNEY BELOVED NO COME BACK

WAIT. Wait is it. Wait hold on gimmie a second o don’t remember what maddie or valeriana look like hold on. I feel like tje dots that are in my brain that im connecting right now theres a good chance im wrong but. The dots that are in my brain they are connecting.

hanjdhsgsgshshw well in glad Heart didnt Say anying about the fact its *incredibly* obvious who Sprig‘s ancestor was

“I did no such thing.”

 So this whole time they’ve been blaming Heart for the antler it…wasn’t even them at all?( hmmmmmmmmmmm iiinchressstiiiinnnhhgggggg. Also the bit about the fact Heart has claws and etc. being because of Anne… OH AND THAT WHY ANDRIAS DOESNT GUYS IM CONNECTING THE PIECES)

“Everything I had with him got in the way of what I wanted with them,” they say with venom. “I was so convinced I could only love him, I didn’t allow myself to love them. When I knew I did.” They chuckle sadly. “I want to love them so badly.” (Wow did you know il insane now im never going to be normal again ever ever again this is my life forever now)

WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHERE IS WITNEY NO WITNEY NO WJAT WAIT NO- NO WAIT STOP NO WAIT

NO U

GOOD. CRY

If I don’t make Marcy hold Witney gently very five seconds then I’m doing something wrong

See what I mean

That was the intention

I’m so funny guys. Haha. Remember how. Remember how Marcy only has one eye

It’s because he’s spent her entire life going through fucked up things and therefore doesn’t realize they’re fucked up.

You are welcome in the Marcy Kinnie Community, we have trauma here.

Witney can have a little fun at Strength’s expense, as a treat.

I’m like Marcy. I used to be so smart in school but I am such a dumb of ass when it comes to socializing and the like. And I just keep getting dumber the older I get.

THEY! ARE! SUCH! BESTIES!

Dude literally

More people should think like Witney. Just run away from all your problems.

Shit-talking Barrel is always a great activity for your mental health.

Everything went so wrong and I am so here for it. What fun would this story be if anything went right?

I was having such a hard time coming up with a good line there and I concluded that I am simply not good at it at all.

Let them be silly so true bestie

Bro you have NO idea how excited I was to include Brenton in this, or how HARD it was to keep it secret for seven months. It is truly maniacal.

AND NOW WE CAN TRULY START GENDERING WITNEY

Please come join the Marcy Kinnies. Also I love the whole “defending Strength” thing. Marcy has actually met and had important interactions with Strength, and now that she realizes that, she has her own impression of it. She can’t see how it would be capable of doing something that would spark such hatred on Witney’s part, and more than that, Witney won’t tell her what that something is. Having Marcy and Witney disagree on the matter is very important to me.

This library would be so much fun. And it’s such a perfect place to show Marcy all the different kinds of people Witney has been a part of. Hehe eyeball. You like what I did there?

I MISS Witney’s sass-mouth. Let him be a dick. She has the capability.

LITERALLY

I WILL NEVER LET GO OF K-MART

such a cute name for such an off-kilter little guy.

Dude Leif teaching Witney how to read is one of my most favorite things ever. They have so so much more to their relationship than what was shown in the Heart chap and I’m SO excited to show more of it in the upcoming gem chaps.

Poor Witney having to revisit her tragic backstory :((

ONE VESSEL ONE VESSEL. GGRRRRRR THIS ONE ALWAYS GETS ME SO BAD. If you ever wondered why Strength acts so differently as a gem and why I keep pointing it out, it’s because of THIS.

What I did to Weif? What do I always do to the pink/green relationships??? You can’t tell me you didn’t see this coming.

Oh Heart. Immediately trying and immediately failing to start things back up with Witney. At least Witney is the last person who would judge Heart.

Don’t make me think about Aggie I’ll get sad

HEARTNEY ANGST SO GOOD

Ahh the spell pouches. If you remember from way back in IBYBF 5 when we actually got to see a POV of a spell pouch doing its work,

A sudden blast of purple materializes between her and the gem, filling the water with the hue and prompting the vine to release her leg at once. 

“Aw, leaving so soon—?”

The gem disappears in the cloud, and Anne’s eyes go wide with the realization. 

One of the bundles has gone off. 

Heart quite literally disappears into the cloud of purple. Furthermore we can see with this passage from CMTO 7,

“Do not use anymore of that magic stuff on me,” they demand softly. “It hinders my connection to Anne, and she is expecting a status report. I will return to my realm peacefully. Do you have any final questions before I go?”

Essentially, the pouches work to sever the connection between vessel and gem for a brief period of time, meaning communication and possession become impossible. It muddies the dreamscapes as well, filling them with the purple void and further confusing and disorienting all parties. Now I want you to sit back and come to the understanding that Heart and Anne both spent all of that morning trapped in the void and unable to find each other until Maddie put the incense out. And have fun with that information.

Yes just as it works on Heart, it also works quite well on Witney.

DONT WORRY ABOUT VALERIANA YET

I originally didn’t have the gems react to Sprig’s likeness to Leif because I hadn’t yet fully developed the gem backstory and didn’t know what their reaction would be,, but now I just think it’s SUPER funny that they still don’t.

You’re doing great sweetie. And if you recall, Heart only starting growing the branches and that ‘rhinoceros horn’ in Andrias’s calamity form when they tried to suffocate Leif.

This is also my life forever gODAMMIT I love Heart sm

Hmmmmm where is Witney? I wonder :^)

[artificialqueens]

Courtney’s Infinite Search for Love Ch. 11 (Witney) - Grinder

A.N: I hope you guys enjoy this update! Don’t forget to leave a like, reblog or comment. It does go a long way. Enjoy!

I went home and cried in the dark living room for what seemed like hours, taking intervals to listen to sad music and cuddle the puppy. And I don’t mean pretty crying. I was full on sobbing, making gross choking sounds as loud as I could. I had hoped that Alaska would’ve heard me and came running to my side, providing me comfort in my time of guilt-riddled misery. But I guess she was out as she hadn’t come to me at all. This only made me feel even worse realising how alone I was.

The puppy seemed awkward around me. Usually in movies when the titular character is crying, their dog comes running to their side trying to cheer their loving owner up. But in my movie ‘Courtney’s Infinite Search for Love’ (or ‘Courtney’s bad life choices’ or 'The Selfish Act of Courtney’), it doesn’t include the scene in which the dog helps. I suppose it’s because he doesn’t know me. Or maybe he felt Alyssa’s pain.

I lay on the couch, staring at the ceiling with blurred vision, whimpering and holding the poor puppy tightly to my form. My head is pounding and my eyes sting in their now red form. I rub at them wearily, feeling more drained than I have ever been. I know I said that before. But this is rock bottom. I’ve fucked up. I’ve messed with an innocent persons head. Someone who deserves far better.

A vibrating in my pocket grabs my attention. I loosen my hold on the puppy and pull my phone from my pocket. It’s Adore.

'Hey, man! How did it go with Alyssa? x’

As I read the last word of the text I let another gross sob sound arise from my throat and out through my mouth. It’s so loud it startles the poor dog. I briefly pet him to let him calm before clicking on Adore’s number and holding the phone to my ear. After a brief set of dial up tones, I hear rustling followed by her voice.

“Howdy. I guess you saw the text!” Adore exclaims cheerfully, too cheerful.

“Ummm…Adore. I really want you to come over.” I whimper.

“Holy shit. You sound like shit. What happened? What’s wrong?” Adore questions in a concerned manner.

“I just…I just…don’t want to be alone right now.” I sob.

“'Kay. I’ll come as fast as I can.” Adore states. “I’m leaving now. While you wait, get yourself some chocolate or something to cuddle or listen to sad music. I’ll be there soon.”

-_-_-_-

As soon as Adore had walked in I flung my arms around her, sobbing into her shoulder. As if everything’s already been said. I try to speak, but can’t find words. She rubs up and down my back, speaking to me softly.

“Hey, it’s OK, girl. You’re OK.” She soothes pulling away and holding my hands. She guides me to my sofa, gently pushing on my shoulders to sit. She quickly gives the puppy a weird look before picking him up and placing him on my lap. “Gimme a second and I’ll be back.”

Adore makes her way to the kitchen area leaving me oblivious to what she is doing with my back to her. I hear the tap going. Then silence. Then the kettle flicking on. Something tearing (maybe a tissue). And she’s back in front of me.

“Here.” She kneels in front of me, dabbing at my face with what was indeed a tissue.

“Thank you, Adore.” I say with a cracked throat.

She gives me a smile as she sits next to me on the sofa now.

“So, I’m assuming it didn’t turn out how you expected?” Adore asks, petting the puppy.

“No. It didn’t. She seems really torn up.” I reply, trying my hardest not to sob again. “Hearing her cry was awful. I just feel awful. I made someone cry today. I’ve never made someone cry.”

“Actually, remember that time we were drunk and you told me how I was your best friend and I got all emotional?” Adore smiled slightly. “Sorry. Time and place. But yeah, I understand. Making someone cry always feels like shit.”

“I just…feel like my whole life I’ve been wasting time, trying to find true love. And it’s made me into this awful person. I should just…give up…and just go back to hooking with people I meet at bars.” I say, sighing heavily.

“OK, that won’t help anything.” Adore said shaking her head.

“Oh, what’s the point? Everything was fine before Willam and I started our thing. I had no worries, no guilts and no troubles.”

“Girl, listen to me. Life isn’t easy. Do you think if it were it would be as fun? Life is like that one question you get in a test that you can’t figure out. You just feel like you can’t solve it. But you don’t leave it blank. You think about it. You think about what you can do in order to get the answer. You try and figure out different ways to solve it in order to achieve a better outcome. What I’m basically saying is life is all about solving problems. You can’t just leave them and give up. Courtney, do you remember what I told you months ago?” Adore gently takes my hand in hers.

“I don’t know.” I shrug. “What did you tell me?”

“There are plenty of fish in sea. As cheesy and cliché as that sounds it’s true. Not everyone is a heartbreaker like Willam. There are good people out there who want to feel love as much as you do. You just gotta go find them. Or let them find you.”

I nod taking in her words. “I know. But I hate waiting for it to happen.”

“Well tough luck, girl.” Adore shrugs her shoulders. “It could take a day – a week – month – year – decade- -”

“That sounds promising.” I reply sarcastically.

“I know, right?” Adore drawls, her eyes widening as she stresses how irritating her last statement was. “But when it does happen, trust me. It’ll feel so good and you’ll regret ever planning to give up on love. And you’ll forget about what happened with Willam and Alyssa.”

“Really?” I say hopefully.

“Yeah. And I know you, Courtney. You’re not a quitter, never have been a quitter and never will be a quitter.” She says, stroking her thumb over my hand.

“Thanks.” I lean into her embrace as she opens her arms, gesturing for a hug.Her fingers trail up and down my arm in a comforting manner allowing me to relax.

“So, I hate to change the subject but I never knew you had a dog.” Adore states.

I pull away, wiping at my eyes once more. “Believe it or not, Alyssa gave him to me. Right before I told her the truth.”

“Oh…well. That’s kinda awkward.” She replies, one corner of her mouth drawing to the side. “What did you call him?”

“I haven’t. All I’ve done since leaving Alyssa’s place is cry and feel sorry for myself.” I reply, shaking my head.

“Not even a cute little baby like him could cheer you up?” Adore smiled down to the puppy, talking as if she was a child. “Actually that makes me feel 10 times better about myself.”

“To be honest I don’t think he likes me. He just keeps getting awkward when I hug him and sometimes he wriggles like he wants to escape.” I shrug.

“Maybe 'cause you’re crying all over him and it’s gross.” Adore smirks.

I stifle a laugh, drying my eyes with my sleeve. “Well, do you want him?”

“I wish I could, but I can’t. The place I’m living at doesn’t allow pets. It kinda sucks. I always wanted either a dog or a cat.”

“Well…I guess I’m going to have to deal with a dog that thinks I’m weird.” I say, shrugging my shoulders.

“He’ll come around. Don’t forget, this is a new experience for him. He’s obviously gonne be sad and afraid of the new situation. But he’ll learn to adapt to all of this. And he’ll be happier in the end.” Adore says, looking away from the puppy to give me a meaningful smile.

“Is that a metaphor for my current situation?”

“It wasn’t intended to be but I guess it is now. Wow, I should do poetry or some shit.” Adore laughs.

Upon learning Alaska wasn’t coming home, Adore agreed to stay over. The rest of our night was spent drinking tea, thinking of a name for the dog (to which we agreed on Bailey) and watching guilty pleasure reality shows. As entertaining as the night was, I thought about what Adore had told me. Not to give up. But not to actively seek a love life; because it will be worth it.

-_-_-_-

The next morning, I had awoken on the sofa, guessing we had fallen asleep during one of the TV shows. Adore was already awake and had made breakfast. She even had the time to briefly run out to get food for Bailey. It’s not even her dog and she’s got her shit more together than I do.

While she waited for me to wake up, she played with the puppy who seemed more open and excited.

After eating, we went shopping for more dog food and supplies before paying a brief visit to the bar Adore performs in for a meeting. After he had called her, Adore insisted Dick wouldn’t mind me being there.

“6.00 every week is kind of a no-no for me, man. I got my shift at the station.” Adore replies, playing with her nails while I just listen.

“Well, it’s either 5 evenings, everyday next week at 6PM, for two hour gigs each or a 3 hour gig on the Friday night.” Dick wagers while petting Bailey who pants as he sits in his lap. God, this dogs charm is infectious.

“Eww, no! From what I’ve seen only teenagers go out on Friday nights. Well the ones who look old enough to go places. And drunk teenagers are messy.” Adore groans, leaning back in her chair and playing with her long black hair. “They throw up everywhere and get into fights. I’ve even watched teenage boys try and climb up on stage with singers, man. It’s too whack for me.”

“I know but…I don’t know how much you know about Indie week but no one comes here. They go down town to Filthies instead 'cause that’s where the talents at. If I have entertainment this year then more people will come. I already have 2 other guys, but not as good as you. You are one of the best performers I’ve met. You’re the perfect match, Adore.” Dick pleads.

“But the teenagers…” Adore groans.

“Please, Adore. It’ll make my life a bit easier. It’s not just entertainment I gotta get. I need to find other staff too. And that’s hard! Wade quit a few days ago to go to college.” Dick says defensively, pointing to the door as if to make a point.

“No way! Wade the bouncer?? He was my homey!” Adore says jabbing a finger into the table. “The betrayal!”

Dick’s eyebrows knit together. “No that’s Jerry. Wade’s the bartender.”

Adore’s mouths an 'oh’ while sighing with relief.

“Well you’d be surprised by how many people who have experience with bartending, Mr. Dick.” I add, stifling a laugh at his name. God, am I 12? “Sorry.”

“It’s OK. Also, it’s just Dick.” He also laughs. “Well, know anyone who’d be interested?”

“Maybe you should join us, Court’.” Adore suggests leaning an elbow on the wooden table and looking directly at me. “You bartended briefly in college, right?”

I don’t even have a chance to answer before Dick’s hand falls on mine. “Yes. I need staff. Please.”

“I don’t know if I can. I also work at the station.” I reply with an apologetic smile.

“Yeah, but you only work there for like 10 minutes a day or something like that.” Adore smirks.

“Courtney, please. You’ll be paid well. And it’s only for a week.” Dick asks again.

“Yeah, Court’.” Adore agrees, her hand falling on my free one. My eyes bolt to her now as she looks at me with puppy dog eyes. “We’ll get to spend more time together and who doesn’t want that?”

I sigh out, thinking of my decision, while Adore just strokes her thumb over the back of my hand.

Maybe I should. It would definitely keep me busier than I usually am at the station considering I only work there for up to 2 hours a day. I wouldn’t have to sit around thinking about Alyssa or Willam. No room for feeling sorry for myself when I have to focus. And besides, it was only for a week. And I would be doing it with a close friend.

“OK, I’ll do it.” I say beaming a smile to Adore and then to Dick.

“Fuck yes!” Adore exclaims, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me close to her. “We are gonna have the best week, bitch.”

Dick just laughs as I look to him for help while Adore smothers me. But hey, who knew being squeezed to death could feel so nice.

Holy shit, that didn’t sound right.