#hollywood is so into the idea that 'love' is all about this explosiveness

[softquietsteadylove]

Hi, I am missing the Mr. And Mrs. Lee AU >< this is a very angsty request. Maybe you can write the part of the confrontation scene but a little different. Thena trying to fulfill the mission even though she already fell in love with the mission (him), but Gil never reciprocated the attacks Thena inflicted to him because he would never lay a finger on her. Thena's mad at him for doing that, she's desperately shouting him to fight her back, but Gil just can't. And when Thena already had the perfect opportunity to kill him, Gil just said with no hesitation that she can do it and it's okay. But of course she didn't.

And we all know what happened next after that...scene, right? But what about we change it? I think having some soft at the same time emotional moment instead of spice after this angsty scene would be good. We'd love to see a lot of comfort, them just holding each other in their apartment that now has broken doors and walls with bullet holes in it.

THANK YOUUU SO MUCH, LOVELY!!!

The house is a disaster. It looks like an entire team of assassins has torn through the place, when really it's just a husband and wife. Well, a wife--Gil couldn't raise his hand even once after finding out it was her on the other end.

Thena stares at him, her hand shaking so much it rattles the weapon she has pointed at him.

His hands are still up, palms out to her. He isn't looking down the barrel at all, just up at her with those eyes he knows can make her melt. "It's okay, Sweetheart."

She glares at him. He doesn't get to call her that now. He should be thinking of her as the enemy. "Don't."

"It's okay," he repeats, and slides his eyes closed as if he's lying down for a nap after a few beers while watching the game. He lets out a slow sigh, and it sounds the same as when they're going to bed together after a long day apart. "You've got it. Take the shot."

She tries. She tries to make herself take the shot and fulfill the mission she's had for the last five years of her life. The mission she was told was a life or death situation, it never being more important for her to maintain her flawless success rate.

But the mission changed. Somewhere along the way, he wasn't only the Mission; he became just Gilgamesh. Gil was sweet, and charming, and friendly in a way she had almost never encountered in her life before him. Then Gil was a pretty good date. She was used to having to play any part necessary, be that the blushing virgin, the seductress, the cold bitch. But Gil was himself, and somehow he had tricked her into being herself too.

Now he's Gilgamesh Lee, and he's a great home cook, and he likes beer but he hates red wine, and he's handy with home repair but he can't identify the difference between paint shades to save his life. He's Gil, and he brings her flowers for her birthday, and he lets her drive because she gets carsick as a passenger. He's her husband of four years, and they've built an entire life together.

And she has burned it to the ground in a single night.

"Dammit!"

Gil watches as she tosses the weapon aside, and sinks to the floor. She curls right up, which is her go-to posture; it protects her, makes her feel more secure. She hugs her knees to her chest.

"Baby?"

"Don't," she practically whimpers into her lap, balled up like a child in the face of her life choices. This is pathetic; she's a top agent, one of the deadliest in Eternal Agencies. And here she is crying like a fool over her first love.

Gil sighs, moving over to her on what remains of their polished hardwood floors. "C'mere, hot stuff."

She should be trying to kill him. She should be fighting and clawing at him to regain the upper hand. Just because she decided she couldn't take the shot doesn't mean she can give up on the mission completely.

Gil lets her curl up on his lap, pressing her tears into his - dislocated, and then re-located - shoulder. He grunts, but bears it as he wraps his arms around her. "Easy, Sweetheart, I've got you."

Thena presses her face harder against him, muffling her agony as she wails into him. She hasn't cried like this in...maybe ever. Maybe she's never felt anything like this, but she supposes Gil has made a habit of unearthing feelings she thought she had cut out of herself.

He rubs her back, presses kisses to her temple. Their home is crumbling around them and he spent the last hour trying not to get assassinated by her, but now he's holding her as if she's had a bad dream after a thunderstorm.

Thena tries to build up her walls again. She tries to think about the house structure, how she can get away and regain the high ground on him. She tries to think about where she tossed that weapon, or which door frames still have her knives lodged in them.

But all she can think about his her husband, holding her in his arms, safe from anything and everything, including the omniscient reach of a man called Father. These are arms which held her after their fifth date, in an apartment she procured just so they could go somewhere after dinner. These are arms which held her against his side in a gondola, and then held her that same night after proposing. This embrace is the only place she has ever felt safe enough to truly banish her other thoughts from her mind and just be Thena.

Missus Thena Lee.

Gilgamesh whispers and coos in her ear as her sobbing subsides slowly. He holds her trembling form against him, offering all he can when they've already been worn to the bone by life and its complications. "Sweetheart?"

She groans into his shirt. "Stop calling me that."

She can hear the smile in his voice. "Why?"

She stays buried against him. She doesn't even want to look at the house, right now. "You want the full list?"

Gil chuckles, running his fingers through her hair. "You're still my wife, Thena. Nothing about tonight changes that."

Fuck. He always knows exactly what to say to make her want to throw herself to the ground and beg him to love her for just one more day.

"Nothing changes that," he repeats in a whisper as she clings to him so tightly her nails dig into him. "Unless you're about to ask for a divorce, in which case I change my mind about putting up a fight."

He also knows how to make her laugh at truly the worst times. "Gil, I'm serious."

"Yeah," he lifts his head and looks around them, "I'd say it's pretty serious, Honey-Bun."

Such cutesy pet names; she once tried to convince herself that they were off putting and that she hated them. It didn't last long. They're cliche and embarrassing and she loves each and every one of them.

Thena lifts her head too, unable to avoid looking at the massacre of their home. A few shreds of wood fall to the floor as if they're paid actors. "Really did a number on the place, hm?"

Gil shrugs as if she's asked if he knows what the weather will be tomorrow, "I'm sure I could make some progress in here if I took some time off work."

Thena thunks her head against his chest again. "Work."

"Sorry," he apologises and presses a kiss to the top of her head. "We don't have to think about that now."

They will sooner or later, though. Both of them will, given all that they've learned in the past 36 hours.

"We'll figure it out," he says so definitively.

Thena looks down at her tattered and shredded dress. She looks at Gil's ripped and burned suit. She sighs, "they're going to call a domestic disturbance on us."

"Yeah, I guess I wouldn't blame them," Gil murmurs, shaking out his jacket and letting the bullets that got caught in its reinforced lining clatter to the floor. He lays it over her shoulders. "You hungry?"

Thena lets out an even longer, even louder sigh. She feels like she could throw up. "Starving."

Gil groans as he hauls himself to his feet. "Fridge is a little beat up, but I'm pretty sure there are a few eggs left."

"Scrambled?" Thena looks up at him from her miserable quarry on the floor, "with cheese?"

He leans down to kiss her, letting her hand rest on his cheek no matter how much he has to twist his neck. "I know what you like."

"Thank you," she whispers, hoping to memorise every line and feature of his face in case the next 36 hours also go to shit. She listens to the sound of him prying open the dented fridge door, pulling out the eggs, finding a pan that doesn't have bullet dents in it. She loves listening to him cook. "Baby?"

"Yeah, Hon?"

Thena smiles to herself. He's right, they will figure it out, and he is her husband; nothing about tonight changes that. "I love you."

"I love you too, Thena."

[mediumgayitalian]

“Hello, twerp.”

Kayla grunts at him. She is focused, intently, on something small enough to be covered up by her hands and curtaining hair; Nico decides it is likely some kind of explosive. There is a reason she, Banned From Arts ‘n’ Crafts For Criminal Reasons, is sneaking into the Hermes’ cabin’s time slot and hiding behind Julia.

Instead of confirming that she is, indeed, planning to blow up at least one of her brothers’ bunks in their sleep tonight, because of Plausible Deniability, Nico swings a leg over the picnic table bench, settling in next to her. She spares a second of attention to blow a raspberry at him, seemingly unprovoked. Nico reaches calmly over, plucks a pair of scissors from Connor’s hands, which he allows because of who he is as a person, and snips a piece of her hair. In response she pulls a notebook from her pocket and puts a little tick mark next to Nico’s name.

“So,” Nico says, choosing to ignore that. “I have a Question.”

“Ten dollars.”

“I’m not paying you, you little shit.”

“Then wonder in silence.”

Nico digs two wrinkled fives from his shoe and slams them on the table, scowling. Kayla pockets them.

“Proceed.”

Nico glares at her, noting her twitching mouth, and remembers that he does, in fact, need her help, and her brother is, in fact, his best friend, so challenging her to a duel to the death is a bad idea on both counts.

(Nonwithstanding the part where she has deadly accuracy with any projectile from almost any semi-reasonable distance. And he has, like, a sword. So.)

“Your brother,” he starts, and he does not need to clarify which one, “is always trying to…feed me.”

“Yes,” she agrees, “he is internally a seventy year old Southern woman. He does that.”

“Fruits.”

“Hm.”

“Oranges, specifically. Like, every single meal.”

“…Ah.”

It is a very knowing ah, Kayla’s little noise, and in fact she sets her project aside. (It is, in fact, an explosive.) She turns slightly on the bench to face him, lips pursed, hands folded. She blinks at him for several moments. Nico holds her gaze, remembering he is out ten dollars.

“My dear brother,” she begins, “my lovely, kind-hearted, smiley, morning person brother, is neurotic.”

Nico waits. This is, apparently, the end of her sentence, as she does not continue.

“I am aware,” he says slowly. “I have been present during every rant about Hollywood inaccuracies about medical sciences.”

She nods sagely. “This is true. You have. You are, however, by virtue of his cripplingly low self esteem and fervent belief that his mere existence is a Literal Actual Curse, spared from much of his most…colourful…contingencies.”

“Contingencies,” Nico repeats.

Kayla nods again.

“Yes. You see, dear future brother-in-law —”

“Cease,” Nico snaps, reddening.

“— our lovely William, also known as your Special Guy, according to Nico With Severe Blood Loss.” continues Kayla, not ceasing, “is under the impression that you, like all people, have a Limit.”

“…A Limit.”

“Yes. A point or level beyond which something does not or may not extend or pass.”

“I know what a godsdamn limit is, Kayla.”

“You seemed confused.”

“I am going to strangle you.”

Openly snickering to herself, she moves on.

“He feeds you oranges because he regularly paces around the cabin in the middle of the night stressing about your vitamin levels,” she explains, finally. “He doesn’t know how to tell you that like a normal person because he’s afraid he’s going to weird you out. Ergo.” She makes a flippant gesture with her hands. “Citrus.”

“Why is he so godsdamn cute,” Nico mutters to himself, then remembers to throw out a hasty, “Thank you,” before scrambling away from the table, ignoring the gathered snickers, and beelining for the the Demeter cabin. “Gods.”

It is empty, thankfully, when he strolls in, except for Miranda in the front gardens, who holds up a finger as he gets closer and whispers to a struggling seedling.

“Hey,” she says after a moment, smiling up at him. “What’s up?”

“I need,” he starts. He purses his lips, rocking back on his heels. His hands make some kind of motion. He’s not sure what, exactly, he didn’t give them permission. “I need.”

Miranda, thankfully, has had years of experience communicating with non-speaking entities, and as such is relatively fluent in Nico. She dusts off her hands, patting the spot beside her. Nico sits as indicated.

“Try a deep breath first,” she instructs. “When your brain is back up and running, try again.”

“It’s running. It’s running a lot.”

“Oh. In that case, might I suggest a small shout of frustration?”

“You may.”

He clears his throat, resting his hands on his diaphragm to Maximize the Output, as he has been previously instructed, and yells. A passing satyr jumps a full five feet in the air and flees. Nico grimaces, calling apologies after them.

“They’re never going to like me,” he grumbles.

Miranda pats his head. “There, there. One issue at a time.”

“Solace,” he says at her invitation, gesturing again. “Oranges.”

“…Ah.”

“He is. You know. Right?”

“I must confess I do not.”

He takes a moment to collect himself. Or, well, he tries to. He’s had an easier time trying to wrangle errant souls surfing along the Styx, but whatever. He literally owns his brain. It Shall submit to him, or he’ll get a new one. Watch.

“Will is…intensely thoughtful.”

“He’s a sweetheart,” Miranda agrees. “Once he brushed past me on the way to dinner and felt that I was going to get a cold, so he took the food I got and exchanged it for soup and veggies and Gatorade and stuff. He forgot to actually tell me that I was about to get a cold, at the time, but it was really nice of him in hindsight.”

Nico makes another loud, strangled bleating noise. Thankfully, no satyrs are harmed.

“He is so!”

“There, there,” Miranda says again. “You’ll get to full sentences soon, I’m sure of it.”

He takes a few moments to have a minor crisis in the peace and tranquility of Friendship. It’s this new thing he’s been trying. Will tells him it’s usually called ‘trust’ and ‘vulnerability’. It is mortifying for the most part but in small doses is kind of cool. Mostly.

“Who takes care of Will?“

“He doesn’t really get sick. Apollo genes and all that.”

“No, like. Emotionally.”

“Oh.” Miranda frowns thoughtfully. “Um. Chiron, maybe? I’m not actually sure.”

“It needs to be me,” Nico stresses. “He always takes care of me, and I want to, like, repay him. Not transactionally,”Nico rushes to clarify, “but, like, mutual care-ily.”

“I see.”

“You see?”

“Yes,” Miranda says sagely. “You must Show Him. That you are Invested in your Relationship.”

“Yes!” Nico cries, gripping her by the elbows. She meets his gaze head on, eyes wide and wizened. “Yes, exactly. Relationship Investment. You’re so smart.”

Miranda preens. “Thank you.” She stands, brushing off her jeans — fruitlessly, she’s got grass stains on top of grass stains on every piece of clothing she owns — and offering Nico a hand. Together they stand and observe the various shrubs, trees, and vines surrounding the cabin, hands on their hips.

Nico narrows his eyes. “Should I just get him oranges?”

“I still don’t fully understand the orange thing. But Will likes peaches.” She leans up and plucks one off of the largest tree, holding it out to Nico. “They make him think of home.”

Nico takes the peach and inspects it. It is, of course, impeccable — thick and heavy, skin soft and unblemished, full enough with juice and flavour to be fragrant even from the arm’s length Nico holds it. This is the kind of peach that wins fairs. This is the kind of peach that sits, prized, in a market, watching as mothers and hipsters claw at each other. This is the kind of peach that immediately upon first touch strikes within you such an intense urge to chuck it at the nearest hard surface and watch it splat into a beautiful explosion of Squelch that Nico has to, hastily, set it down and out of immediate reach.

“It’s perfect,” he declares.

“Don’t throw it at him,” Miranda advises, eyeing the fruit herself.

“Shan’t,” Nico promises, and it doubles at a warning to his brain because he can’t lie to Miranda, obviously, so his brain better Check Itself. There will be no peach throwing. Peach holding, only, and peach giving.

He waves goodbye to Miranda as he hustles off, headed for the bustling infirmary. There have been no great emergencies today — there would be a lot more of Will’s echoed screeching if this were the case — and many people who have walked in have walked out, minutes later, scowling, so now is a good a time as any. He could of course wait until Will is done his shift and they meet by Cabin Seven, like usual, but this is a Pressing Issue. Will can no longer continue to believe that Nico has a Limit, as Kayla had so unhelpfully explained. Nico is Limitless. He is a sine function. He is an eternal abyss. He is the final end of Chiron’s patience, if the horse is to be believed.

Also, the peach is really really tempting and Nico honestly does not have all that much control over his brain. It usually kind of does as it pleases. That’s why he has so many Situations.

“Solace,” he shouts, banging open the screen door loud enough to make everyone inside jump, “GET the hell over here.”

“I. Am.” Will holds up a patient’s arm, which has been hastily butterfly-clamped closed and is now being stitched. “Um. Is it urgent?”

Nico snaps his mouth shut. “No.” He stalks over to where Will is sitting, still bewildered, on his favourite stool, and stands with his arms crossed behind him. He nods at the injured camper, clearing his throat. “Proceed.”

“…Okay.”

Because Will is a Professional, his gaze remains focused on the gaping wound he is fixing. Because no one else at this camp is, everyone else chooses to gawk. Nico lets the fires of Hell enter his eyes, like Father showed him, and glares them all into subservience.

“Alright,” Will says, several minutes later, patting the patient’s knee with a smile. “I’m gonna wrap this, Jen, and you gotta keep it dry, okay? Have ambrosia twice a day like I told you and come see me at the end of the week.”

“There’ll be no scar?” the young girl hedges.

“Not if you follow my instructions,” Will promises. “Although you’ll be just as beautiful with a scar, kiddo, I promise. Ask your mother.”

Jen looks at him doubtfully, but Will is one of those people who’s unbelievably hard to distrust. It’s infuriating, if you’re Nico and committed to the whole goth/emo lifestyle. Probably comforting if you’re a normal person.

She leaves, and it is abruptly very quiet in the infirmary, which is crazy because it is abruptly never quiet at camp unless people are dead, usually, but no one is dead, and people are too godsdamn nosy to flinch away from Nico’s glare, or maybe they’re not scared of him anymore, and hey, isn’t that something. The world is so busy, all the time. Things keep happening. Who’s fault is that, again?

“Nico?” Will asks, rocking back on his heels. His hands are suddenly clean of blood and grime and his scrubs have been swapped out. They stand, also, at the other end of the infirmary, right outside of the on-call room. He looks up, and conversations have resumed, and Will is watching him, intently, bright eyes slightly too wide, front teeth gnawing at his bottom lip, Ace bandage winding, unwinding, winding.

“This is for you,” Nico blurts, and shoves the peach at him.

Will blinks. “Oh.” He stares at the peach, a moment, before a smile erupts on his face. “Oh! Thank you!”

He takes the peach, gently, from Nico’s hands, and holds it close to his chest, wide hands gentle so as not to bruise, smile gone close-mouthed, giddy. The rocking gets every so slightly faster, and the slight breeze from the open screen door ruffles his frizzy hair, and his nose is scrunched, just slightly, enough to wrinkle his dotted feathers, and Nico’s mouth is very, very dry.

“I do not,” he tries, and it grinds along his paper-parched throat, near silent, “I do not have Limits, William.”

The rocking stills. Nico mourns it.

“…Sorry?”

“Limits,” Nico repeats. “I do not have them. I am Limitless. Purge the thought.”

“You have limits,” Will says, alarmed. “Um, we had that talk, right? About pushing yourself and why that is generally regarded as a bad plan.”

“That was you shouting at me in between nectar shots and frantic mothering, actually, but that’s not what I meant.”

Will doesn’t answer, only tilting his head.

“You’re neurotic,” Nico attempts to explain, and as could be expected by literally anyone with a brain this goes poorly, and he rushes to amend. “I mean! Well, you are neurotic — but! There is a but! Stop looking at me like that! You are neurotic but!”

“This is a very bad friendship break up if that is what you are trying,” says Will in a small voice, and Nico resolves to kick his own ass later tonight to Atone.

“I like it,” he hurries to explain. “You and your — neuroses. All of you, I like it. There is no Limit. Capital L. You’re groovy. On — point. Fleek? What do the kids say. I don’t —”

“Oh,” Will breathes, thankfully putting Nico out of his misery, “oh, this is about the oranges.”

Nico nods miserably.

“The oranges are —” Will cuts himself off, staring down at his shoes. “Um, scurvy freaks me out.”

“…Scurvy?”

“It — collagen synthesis is an active process? In your body? And scurvy makes it degrade really quickly. Which kind of tears your body apart by reopening scars. On top of other things. And you — were on a ship, you know. For a while. And you sweat a lot. And you don’t take the multivitamins I give you.”

“Because they’re gross,” Nico says, breathless, “and I’m not — sweaty.”

Wherever sunlight touches Will’s skin he tends to glow, slightly, and his freckles fluoresce the longer his hand takes to traverse the space between them, past the open window, resting, lightly, on Nico’s wrist.

“You are,” he says, gently. “You have — really low magnesium and potassium levels. Just, all the time.” He glances down at the inside of Nico’s wrist. “Right now, actually. Will you eat a banana if I go get you one?”

Will will go get a banana, and Nico will follow him, and they will sit, somewhere, probably the big rock by the lake, as Nico eats it, and Will will eat his peach, and Nico will watch his throat bob, and Will will talk, hands gesturing, peach juice everywhere, and they will stay there, probably, way past sunset, right till curfew, and then they will sprint, as they usually do, to avoid the harpies, and they will go to Nico’s cabin, first, because they always do, and Will will snag an orange as they run past the fruit trees by the Demeter cabin, and he will press it into Nico’s hands, firmly, smiling as he says goodnight, and running back to his own cabin. Where he will, according to Kayla, pace, and worry. Where he will rant about Limits, and how close Nico is to approaching them.

“Will,” says Nico seriously, grabbing his hands. Will’s eyes snap to his, wide, wider than usual, and they are so blue, so so blue, are things usually this blue? He’s startled by it every time. “Will, I am a sine function.”

“I don’t understand,” he admits.

Nico nods. “That’s okay! Just — peaches.” He reaches out and pats the fruit, curling Will’s fingers around them. “For you. Okay?”

Will glances down at the peach. He glances back up at Nico. He looks down, finally, at their hands, twined around the fruit, and holds there, one, two, three seconds.

“Oh,” he says, finally. “Oh, you don’t — oh.”

“Peaches,” Nico repeats, “oranges.” He pulls one hand free and draws a line between them. “You get it?”

“I get it,” Will says, softly. He looks up and smiles, small, private; too-big front teeth just barely peeling out. “You never reach your approached value.”

“I really don’t even get that close.”

“I’m kind of losing the metaphor, here.”

“Okay.”

Nico squeezes their hands together. Will squeezes back, shifting his weight.

“I’m still gonna — you still gotta get your vitamin C.”

“More oranges?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” He rubs his finger over the backs of Will’s knuckles; he shivers. Nico meets his eyes and he smiles, widely, hurting his cheeks, and Will smiles back, and he rocks, and Nico is an abyss, and he is falling, falling, falling. “I like oranges.”

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

Remember the VFX artists when they came out a couple years ago or so to complain about their working conditions? They mentioned just that. The executives ruining any creative decision by showing up with their stupid ideas of what the audience wants - except those ideas are always a rehash of the same thing that has already been done a million times before.

Those execs are the problem because they're so amazingly disconnected from what the people truly want or find interesting, but they're too arrogant to see it. They're the ones who love going around saying modern music is shit and the young kids only want explosions and sex scenes, then they go all Pikachu face when their movies don't work.

And part of that is these Hollywood big fish can't be arsed to watch or concern themselves with anything that is not American-made.

But it's easier to blame the audience when a movie doesn't work. That's how you get RDJ as Doom and the Russos coming back. They always think whatever worked in the past will work again, but instead of trying to understand WHY it worked in the first place, they just keep repeating the same thing over and over hoping to hit the jackpot once more.

[vasito-de-leche]

crawling back from a hole to GEEK about suitcase gang members that would get along the best 💁‍♀️

- x, medicine pocket, and sotheby: lethal IRB nightmares

- med poc and sotheby: explosive concoctions

- centurion and tennant: harbingers of serial bankruptcy

- mesmer jr. and 6: orderliness

- dikke and 6: law and order (dun dun)

- melania and bkornblume: the thief and her gal in the chair (they're a ship too)

- eagle and shamane: shamane is MAD impressed at this girl's wilderness skills + will also be willing to teach her stuff

- horropedia, an an lee, and blonney: it's always horro and blonney / horro and an an but never these three together. you can bet that blon and horro surrounds an an to ask about her ghost vacuum

- blonney and desert flannel: she's in patch 1.5 but her design tells me that she's rocking her closet which is a bonding topic with blonney

- lilya and jiu niangzi: girl is in patch 1.6 but all that is known for now for global players is that she makes killer alcohol. cue lilya as her willing taste-tester

- sputnik 1 and 37: just 37 marvelling this perfect sphere

- alien T and 37: this girl again eyeing the ufo's circumference

- kaala bauna and voyager: kaala has a question or two about the heavenly bodies

- dikke and knight: s w o r d

ohhh fun! here's a few dynamics and characters I think would get along since you've shared your own!

Baby Blue and every character younger than her--especially Balloon Party

Baby Blue is just 17 but I do like to think that, bc of her connection with Wonderland and innocence, she would act as a big sister for many of the younger arcanists. especially Balloon Party since the two reject adults or the idea of growing up!

Blonney and Bunny Bunny

both characters have a focus on movie or hollywood as a concept, both are also girls around the same age range who know what it's like to be put into very restrictive stereotypes (the blonde bimbo, the southerner). I think they'd get along, and it's very funny to think about Blonney go straight to Bunny Bunny for help if Jessica ever needs help, since Bunny Bunny's family had a farm lmfao

but I also just rlly love girls who are total opposites on a surface level being close friends bc of the small little things they do have in common

Sweetheart and Bette, following the same reasoning as the Blonney and Bunny Bunny

THE MOST FAMOUS ACTRESS AND A STRUGGLING ACTRESS...BEING FRIENDS... SEEING EACH OTHERS PERSPECTIVES....

sorry I'm very passionate abt Sweetheart being so jaded and tired of the way hollywood treated her and warped her image to be nothing but a product for the audience's consumption. and very passionate abt Bette near-delusional hope of making it into the industry

Sonetto and Zima, both being poets

I could've added Charlie or The Fool since the idea is similar, but I feel like Zima would work best?

all three of these characters cherish the power of the written word and have used it against injust systems, but I think that Charlie's insecurities would hold her back a lot from truly bonding with Sonetto thru poetry, and The Fool is too much of a revolutionary--his very open and vocal "down with the monarchy, every person in authority is a fucking fool" vibe would clash with Sonetto's obedient dog aspects. Zima, however, feels perfect to act as another poet for Sonetto to befriend and a mentor to slowly introduce her to more open ideologies

SURE hes a recluse and socially inept bc of the years of isolation in exile, BUT HES NOT SHY WHEN IT COMES TO SHARING HIS VIEWS AND THOUGHTS OR WORK. hes the perfect idea of subdued and quiet strength, I rlly think Sonetto could really benefit from having him as a mentor or responsible adult figure

Pavia and Centurion

YES, I KNOW TENNANT IS VERY OBVIOUS FOR CENTURION BC SHE SCAMS PPL AND CENTURION IS VERY LUCKY SO SHE WINS AT EVERYTHING AND PUT MANY PLACES INTO BANKRUPCY

but I'm NEVER letting go of casino dealer Pavia from the artificial somnambulism stages. these two? theyre ABSOLUTE MENACES together, the luckiest girl in the world addicted to adrenaline and thrills? with the most deranged "who gives a shit" mafia guy who does whatever he wants?

they'd be playing an extreme version of buckshot roulette together, they'd ruin the economy together just bc its funny. they dont know each other's full names. they hang out and bitch about life together. they dont care abt their respective life stories. they're the first person they call when they're bored. they've been in many many life threatening situations. they dont know each others favorite colors

do you see my vision!!!

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Do you find it odd at all that the series has very few chronological markers? In 54, we find out the series took place over roughly three years. But in 54 books, it is never Christmas, Halloween, Fourth of July, Easter, etc. They make very few references even to summer vacation. The only Animorph to ever have a birthday (to my recollection, anyway) is Tobias in 23 with the whole thing about Aria and his dad's will.

So my ask here is really three parts.

1. Why do you think they avoided specific time-of-year references in a series that all the same assumes a natural passage of time between books?

2. If you could pick a specific time of year to be Animorph-mission relevant what would it be? Kids going trick-or-treating in costume? Using the cacophony and distraction of Independence Day fireworks to do [something]? A giant community egg hunt organized by the Sharing?

3. Totally random, but if you could pick dates (or at least Zodiac signs) for the human Animorphs, what would they be? Bonus for trying to translate Ax's Andalite date of birth in another star system to the conventions of our terrestrial calendar.

Answer 1: I assume the lack of specific time markers is primarily a way to give the series more flexibility. There are a ton of drawbacks and fewer benefits to tying books down to exact seasons. If K.A.A. et al. write a book set in late October with a whole motif around Halloween, then any little change to the publication timing — adding Ax to the narrator rotation, delaying the release of this month's book for a different promotion, Scholastic switching the release order for a Megamorphs — will make the book look weird and out of place, and might force it to be edited or even cancelled last-minute. This happens occasionally with Hollywood movies, like when Iron Man 3 had a whole motif about Christmas but got released in May, and it's never a great look.

Not only that, but not getting too specific about what weather occurs when outside of "we got hot" or "the air felt cold" also allows the setting to be more flexible. A bunch of us fandalites have talked about how much fun it was to imagine the Animorphs fighting the yeerks in the next town over, whatever the next town over happened to be for the kid reading. I used to imagine the books taking place on the Jersey Shore, and other people have mentioned Kansas City, Portland, central Florida... If there's specific information about "it's October, so the snow is coming soon" or "we're tanning on the beach in February" then that narrows the location too much too fast.

Answer 2: I love the idea of the Sharing going all-in on the ultra-capitalist Seasons we have in the U.S.: Halloween Season, Christmas Season, 4th of July Season. I don't know if the Animorphs would be hypersensitive to fireworks or not — they're a trigger for most veterans specifically because they're explosions and sound like gunshots — but I also don't think that the Animorphs would particularly like Memorial Day or Independence Day as a result.

Other than that, I've headcanoned that the thing with Jake and his parents being out of town in #37 is because it's Rosh Hashanah — if some of Jake's grandparents are very traditional, that could explain Jake feeling he has to travel that weekend. While we're at it, I imagine #5 taking place near Day of the Dead, because Marco mentions Eva's presence being felt so intensely by both him and his dad throughout those few weeks.

Answer 3: I think Marco would totally be that guy who would troll about the Zodiac. Like, if anyone asks what his sign is, he'd say "Guess!" and whatever the person comes out with, say "How'd you know?" If caught out in the lie, he'd switch to saying he's an Andromeda, and then a Sextans, and then a Camelopardalis...

Rachel would of course get in on the fun, and announce her Zodiac is Ursa Major. And anyone who disagrees gets to meet her inner Ursus arctos horribilis.

[the-other-art-blog]

I’m going to rant. I’m going to rant so much because Secret Invasion was so awful.

I really was hoping this would be a grounded, Winter-Soldier-style show. I mean, they keep getting these A-list actors to do this! They got Olivia Coleman! After she got an Oscar! I understand if five years ago, every actor in Hollywood wanted in, but now? Honestly, if I were one of them, I would get as far away as possible. This is a sinking ship. Especially because the MCU gives almost no information about the characters before hiring them. But what ends up happenning is that once they’re committed, they realize the shitty script they have to do. Isn’t one of SAG-AFTRA proposals is to let actors have information about a role/project at the time of audition? And it was rejected?

I saw an interview from the actor who plays Gravik and I was very upset because he was very apathetic. But after seeing what he had to work with, I get him. Again, he probably had no idea of the script but trust Marvel and he shouldn’t have. His evil monologue at the end! 😖 And it’s so frustrating because in the Barbie movie, he’s lovely! He could have been a very charismatic villain with a good script and director.

Olivia did a great job. But I doubt we’re going to see her again. She said she wanted to be in the MCU no matter what, but she deserved a better project.

Unfortunately, Giah has no personality. Even in the show, who cared about her? Talos loved her of course, but she turned against him for an organization who didn’t give a shit about her. She had no authority there. When she got killed, who cared? And she’s a terrtorist. She didn’t stop the explosions, which no one ever mentioned again, btw. Let’s pray, the low ratings make Marvel forget about her. Don’t tell me Emilia Clarke didn’t think this was worse that s8 of GOT? At least that one had 7 good seasons before that. This was bad from start to end.

AND, she stole those superpowers. Didn’t we have a whole Agent Carter season about Howard Stark keeping Steve’s blood and how inmoral that was? And now Nick Fury did the same to everyone!!! What the hell was his plan? Clone them? Are the avengers ever gonna learn about this? What about the Black Panther. It was on the list. But those powers are attached to Wakanda. Like, what did we have Wakanda Forever for? T’Challa and Shuri had to go through a whole ritual, they went to see their ancestors!!! The powers are not the most important part of the character. There can be ten heroes with superstrength, but it is the backstory and the personality what makes each of them special.

I get a similar feeling from the revelation that Rhodey has been a Skrull since Civil War. Because now, all those heartfell moments mean absolutely nothing. 

Does Feige honestly believe that people are going to be happy with the show just because of that final fight scene? I really think so. At this point, Marvel thinks that of they make a CGI fight with lots of superpowers, everyone will love a show/movie, even if they promised something else. Talk about being in denial.

I don’t even think Maria was fridged because no one cared. Her death meant nothing to the overall plot and to the characters.

Fury being married was an interesting idea (actually I think this is the kind of attention that Clint and Laura should have had in Hawkeye), but it’s not enough to save the show. And, I want to believe Clint knew about them. But the MCU doesn’t keep relationships anymore. And then I remember that Fury turned out to be a horrible person whose morals are all fucked up. He uses people, literally takes their blood for his own plans, abandons his wife, doesn’t keep his word, leaves his friend’s corpse behind, and now he’s not even a good spy.

Also, how are all those people not dying of radiation poisoning? I have no scientific knowledge on this, but they spent years in Chernobyl. Surely they should have cancer in the near future, at least. They showed how dangerous it still is!

And I’m not even going to get too deep into the budget, but someone is definitely doing some serious money laudering there. GOT had only $15 million per episode in the last season and the had dragons and White Walkers. How is a 212 million budget not enough to give a realistic depiction of an attack on the US president! I had no idea that their economy was so bad that the president can’t even afford a proper security team. His gabinet is somewhere? Seeing how the female secretary was treated, I’m not suprised if no one showed up!

[joe9cool]

Collide-Justin Herbert-21

A/N:I do not know Justin, or anyone associated with the LA Chargers. This is just fanfiction

The rest of the week was a Rollercoaster.

AnnSophie didn't go to workout with Sara at the practice facility, always playing it off like she had somewhere to be, something to do. She claimed it was due to helping her friend get ready for her calendar shoot but she could put money on it being the 6 foot 5 defense end. Who by the way, was asking if she was coming back and how long she was in town for. Not that he cared or anything.

She was on Justin to find out what happened. Sure she got some details from AnnSophie, but she was nosy. All of her girlfriends shared this trait. They were all like sisters. 

Speaking of, there was some communication from the ones from Pittsburgh and Missouri. They all had a three way chat on the phone. Their dad was being stubborn, which led to an explosive fight between him and mom. Aunt Willa was shooting her mouth off to anyone who would listen about what an ungrateful Hollywood brat Sara became. It didn't make any headlines that she knew of. But Heidi was still checking.

Then Christine McVie died, which devastated Sara. She had met her a handful of times through Stevie, and they had developed a close relationship. One of her favorite moments was introducing her father to the band, in which he raved about the backstory behind his youngest  name that he picked out personally. Fleetwood mac was something she and her dad bonded over.

That night when she got the news she stared at her phone, wondering if she should reach out to her dad. After a couple of hours of debate she sent a simple text.

Christine died. 

She knew her dad would know by the first name. He responded an hour later 

I know. Thanks.

That was it. No I'm sorry no I love you. Justin walked into her house to find his girlfriend sobbing on the couch, holding Nova . Setting down his bags, he rushed over to her and pulled her close. He was silent, letting her cry it out before she told him everything that transpired. Justin shook his head when she explained what had happened with her dad.

"He's a fool Sara, I don't want to trash him because I never met him, but what kinda man doesn't choose his own child." He shook his head. She sniffled and looked up at him. "Thank you, I just don't understand. We were so close growing up and now it's like we are so far apart."

He rubbed her back. "Wanna have pizza and wine tonight?"

"Justin, that's not in your diet." He got up and grabbed his phone. "Two slices and a glass of wine won't kill me." He dialed the place. "What do you want?"

She smiled. "Deep dish, with spinach and mushrooms." She laughed at the face he made before turning to social media to post a picture of Christine and her. She wrote her tribute on Instagram before sharing pictures of her that they took together. She was scrolling through the tributes and saw Harry liked her post, as well as posted a tribute of his own.

Scrolling through everyone's tributes got her thinking. Fleetwood Mac has many fans, they're career spanned through decades. They had tons of fans young and old.

What if they put on a tribute concert?

She jumped up from the couch, having a sense of clarity since yesterday. She ran outside to Justin's backyard. She dialed Steve's number.

"Hello?"

Then she realized Stevie's time zone was a few hours ahead of her. "Oh my god I'm so sorry I can call back later "

"It's fine hun, I know you are calling to discuss Christine." Sara smiled. "How are you doing? How's John doing?"

"We are all doing as well as can be. It was very unexpected. We didn't know she was sick." 

"Stevie, I had an idea. What if we did a memorial tribute concert for her memory? Any money we make can go to her favorite charity?"

It was silent, Sara was afraid it was going to get shut down. Finally, "I think it's a wonderful idea. I can get some of the band to perform her songs and ours." Things were still tense with Lindsey Buckingham and Sara had never met him. "I mean we could do other bands as well. "I don't know if we would sell tickets to fans or have an event sponsored. I have some connections, but I don't know."

"I have faith in you Sara, you were always an ambitious woman. I'm proud of you, you are like the daughter I never had." Sara smiled at that, tears in her eyes. She played with the moon necklace that Stevie gifted her and Harry one Christmas. It was for close friends. "Well I got named Sara for a reason."

They spoke a little regarding the details. Obviously it would take a lot of time and effort, but she was dedicated to this. It would be an amazing tribute to an amazing woman who made a tremendous mark on the music industry.

Feeling better, she headed back inside. A lot of time must have passed. Because the pizza was set up at the table. Justin served the slices. "Who was that?"

"Stevie. I was thinking about putting on a tribute concert for Christine ." Justin stopped what he was doing.

"As in Stevie Nicks?" She nodded. "Wow." Sometimes it was easy to forget how famous his girlfriend truly was. "My parents listen to them all the time."

"My dad is a huge fan."

They both sat down to eat. Nova took her spot on the coach to overlook the gathering. "So you never told me the full story on how you got your name." Justin took a swig of his wine. Sara smiled. "I'm surprised you didn't look it up."

Justin grabbed her hand. "I wanted to hear it from you."

She squeezed his hand. "Well, my older sisters are nine, six, and four years older than me. My parents always say they didn't have a fourth to try for a boy but I call it crap." She laughed. "Well when they were at the ultrasound the tech told my mom I was a boy. It was a national celebration in my family. But my dad wasn't sold. He even told me 'I had a feeling you were a girl, it didn't matter how much blue stuff your mother bought.' "

Justin smiled. "What did your mom say?"

Sara laughed. She always told him he was crazy. But he maintained his stance. My mom went into labor early morning June 29th and when they were on the way to the hospital they were still arguing about my sex. My mom told my dad if he was right he would get to name me since she had no names picked out for a girl.

"What was your name supposed to be if you were a boy?"

"Derek Michael Wozniak. Michael after my dad, Derek after her brother and my grandfather."

Justin smiled. "So where did the name Sara come in?"

"Well my dad is a huge Fleetwood mac fan. He was flipping the radio while they were en route to the hospital and the song 'Sara' came on. Well he thought about it and his favorite band member was Christine McVie. So he thought 'Sara Christine'."

"It's a beautiful name, it suits you. What did your mom think of it?"

She laughed. "My mom is trendy, she wanted me to be Jessica. My dad always points out though that Sara was popular but with an 'h'. I hated it when teachers and classmates automatically assumed I spelled it with an H. My aunt Willa would purposely spell it with an H just to piss me off. She said it was prettier when it was spelled how the Bible spells it.

Justin smiled. "Your name suits you."

"How did your mom come up with your names?"

"Well Mitch is actually Mark Mitchell Herbert after My dad, but they called him Mitch so he has his own identity. She liked my name and my brother's." Sara nodded, her phone buzzing with a message interrupted them. She looked. "It's Joey." 

Justin's face hardened. "What does he want?"

"AnnSophie's number." She turned her phone around to show him the text. Sure enough it was Bosa straight to the point. Justin relaxed. "So what exactly happened between them?"

Sara shook her head. "Annie told me she had a 'fling' with him in high school. Don't know the backstory or nothing."

Justin was confused. "Well that's odd. His last girlfriend Jackie he was with since high school up to a few years ago. So I don't know when that thing went down."

Now it was his girlfriend's turn to be baffled. "I want to ask but it seemed like a sore subject. I don't know if she would like me giving him her number."

Justin shrugged. "Just don't reply to him. Eventually he will get the hint to leave you alone." He said that part with a little bitterness. She gave him a look. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to upset you by texting him. I do consider him and your teammates friends. Since I'm around you I'm going to be around them."

Justin looked down. "You're right. I don't need to be upset." She grabbed his hand. "Hey if you're upset talk to me okay? I want us to have open communication." He smiled and rubbed his thumb over her wrist. "Same goes for you."

—-----------------------------------------------------------

December. No matter how many years Sara had resided in California it was weird not to be bundled up with hot chocolate as you're running errands.

She was out and about on rodeo drive, trying to do some quick shopping before the photoshoot AnnSophie had set up for her. They had to do it fast as her friend was only in town for a few more days before heading back to Florida to retrieve her daughter. 

Luckily no one had seemed to recognize her. The cameramen weren't even around to take photos. She had her hood up, hair in a bun with sunglasses and a mask.

Justin was at practice before leaving for the game against the Raiders. He was clingy for the rest of the week, which was nice, and unusual for him but she remembered that she had told him when she was leaving for overseas.

January 5th

Everyday the date was getting closer. It was a countdown. She wouldn't be back in Los Angeles til March 12th, missing his birthday by a couple of days. Sara had already begun packing for the three months away. Erika was back in town with a few plates of cookies that her mother sent from the cookie day that was a part of the Thanksgiving fiasco. Erika had said that her trailer and hotel were all set up for her arrival on the Dune 2 set. 

It was funny, because Sara liked going to different places for filming, and if had asked her six months ago, she would tell you she was looking forward to being away from everything, to get lost in her character. But now things have changed due to a freakishly tall quarterback that had stolen her heart.

Once her shopping haul was done she went back to her house where the scene was set. The only thing she had to go back to Justin's house was for his jersey that she had to take out of his closet for one of the months. She had texted him asking him if he had left yet. He responded with a yes and a question mark. She played it off as it had something to do with Nova. 

As quick as traffic would allow she ran in, made sure Nova had enough food in her automatic feeder, grabbed the jersey and went back to her house.

She had to admit, her best friend did an excellent job with making her basement look like a professional photo shoot. "Annie, how did you get all of this together?"

She shrugged as she was testing out the lens. "You don't work in fashion and don't crossover behind the scenes. I called Bella and she gave me some tips and connections. Speaking of." She grabbed her phone and called the other model on facetime. When Sara looked at her funny she smiled. "Bella wanted to see the shoot"

All three of them went over how Sara should pose. Some pictures had a theme such as February was red lighting with her posed nude, a teddy bear hiding all the good parts. She did flash some boob, but only one in March, cake smeared on her body with the icing reading 'Happy Birthday baby'

They went through many poses and lighting. Sara made sure to have good angles of her ass since Justin was lowkey an ass man (he always says it didn't matter but she knew by the amount of bruises on her tush)

After a touch up of her makeup she slipped on his Oregon jersey. Turning towards the camera she lifted it up to reveal her bare ass, green body paint spelling out ‘Go Ducks!’ she laughed as she heard the click of the camera. "Did you think when we met on the Victoria Secret red carpet five years ago you'd be doing this?"

Her friend and Bella laughed.

The shoot in total took over six hours, and they still weren't done. They did need a break, and they promised to pick back up the next day while watching the Chargers hopefully beat the Raiders

—-----------------------------------------------------

They did not beat the Raiders.

They had the big screen television as they resumed the shoot. AnnSophie was making it obvious that she was looking for Joey's number on the field.

Sara rolled her eyes as she changed outfits. "You know he's injured? So he won't be out there."

Her friend tried to play dumb. "Who?"

"You know who. You're Joseph Bosa.” She mocked. AnnSophie rolled her eyes.  “Please. He likes you Sara."

"No he doesn't. We are just friends, he has friendly mannerisms with everybody. You know that." AnnSophie shut up. She knew Joey longer than anyone.

"So tell me did you guys date or was it just sex?" Sara was probing, not expecting any real answer. 

It was quiet for a moment, Sara was going back to the set to pose for another photo before her friend answered.

"It was just sex, for him at least. He had a girlfriend that was on and off. When it was off I was his comfort person.”

Sara was stunned. She didn’t think her friend was that type of person.  “Well you must have left an impression, he keeps messaging me asking for your contact information.” AnnSophie whipped her head towards the brunette so fast. “Sara please tell me-”

“I didn’t give him anything. I told him I wasn’t comfortable giving out personal information like that unless it was okay with you. I guess I have my answer then.” They dropped the sore subject after that.

They finished the shoot to see  a few minutes in the 4th quarter. However, they couldn't get it done. 

Shit. 

Shit.

Sara checked the standings. Chargers were still in the hunt, but their chances were looking slim. They now had to win all of their upcoming games, which Justin would never admit but Sara and everyone else saw that their defense is trash.

While she and AnnSophie ate the pizza they ordered and went to edit the photos, she decided to stay at her house for the first time in a while. She didn't want to ditch her friend.

She had messaged Justin that there were leftovers in the fridge from when she made stuffed shells and a Ceasar salad.

Like the last time the team lost she expected extreme silence. And for a moment she thought that was what she was going to get

Until a text came in late

Where are you?

She was on the couch with AnnSophie, she was doing some last minute retouching while Sara was ordering Christmas gifts for her family.  She was confused when she read the message

S:I am at home with Annie, why?

J: Since when do you go to your place?

S: I was busy with work, plus I thought you needed space after the loss

J: I don't need space, I need you

Sara felt bad, because she didn't want to leave her friend hanging. As much as she hated to realize it, she was losing herself in the relationship, which she swore she would never do again. Well that was what was happening. Also she made so many sacrifices for him.

S: I'm available on facetime if you want to talk.

He read it quick, and then the text bubble

J: I'm coming over.

Her eyes widened, and she looked over at her friend. Who was unaware of the situation at hand. She swallowed thickly.

S: Justin, that's too far to go at this time. Plus you still have to be at the facility in less than a few hours.

J: I don't care, your place is a bit closer, so it will work out.

She looked over. "Hey, so I guess Justin is coming over." AnnSophie was surprised. "I thought he wanted to be left alone."

Sara shrugged. "That's what I thought as well. He's not taking no for an answer. I'm sorry."

"Sara I don't give a shit. I like Justin, I just don't wanna hear you two fucking."

"Please, I don't think he's in the mood. Also he wouldn't do it while you were here."

Sara had another thought. "Shit I hope he doesn't go into the basement." She ran into her room which was messier than usual. It had outfits everywhere. Justin's Oregon jersey was laying on the bed. With a quickness she didn't know was possible she threw all of her 'props' underneath the bed. Going around the room, she fine toothed, and combed everything so it was pristine. 

It had been almost an half an hour after their last exchange before she heard the key in the lock. She came out to the living room to see Justin walk in and say hi to her friend. As soon as he saw her he dropped his bag and wrapped his arms around her. She rubbed his back as he held her in his arms. "I'm sorry baby." She murmured as she felt him plant a kiss on top of her head.

He was silent, the room was silent. Until she heard his stomach growl. "Did you eat the leftovers?" She felt him shake his head. "No, I didn't even check. I just saw you weren't there and I came here."

That was sweet, but he needed food. "I have some leftover pizza in the fridge. It's not healthy but." He headed towards the fridge and began to take out the plastic bag. He moved around like he knew the place pretty well considering they didn't spend much time at her place. Which was funny, cause the first month of their relationship he was over at her place all of the time.

AnnSophie looked over at Justin. "Your teammate Joey, is he injured?"

 Justin nodded with pizza in his mouth. Once he swallowed he spoke. "Yes. He has a tear in his groin. Hopefully he will be back before the playoffs. If we even make it." He muttered that last part.

AnnSophie excused herself to go to the bathroom. She made the mistake of leaving her laptop open with a couple of the photos. Justin sat down on the couch and looked at the blown up photo that was being edited. 

Sara was finishing brushing her teeth and came in and saw that. "Shit!" He turned to look at her. "What's this for?"

The photo on the screen was her in scantily clad lingerie on a red plush beanie bag. It was for the month of February and the bra was revealing. It was see through, as well as the panties, so you could see her waxed mound.

She had to think of a lie so she didn't blow her gift. "It's for the fenty shoot, promotional shots."

"So everyone is going to be seeing this?" She almost wanted to laugh as she saw his jaw clenching. "Well it's still being edited. It might not make the final cut. But it might."

She saw his hand go on the laptop and click another one. The one where her left boob was out. "They would allow this? Your whole tit is out!"

Luckily he was so absorbed in what was on the screen he couldn't see the smile on her face. "I mean it's whatever they chose. Why what's wrong?"

Justin shook his head. "I just don't know if I'm comfortable with everyone seeing you like this."

"I've had sexy photoshoots. Esquire magazine had me nude."

"Yeah but you were covered by a coat." She was surprised that he knew that. She didn't think he would pay attention to past shoots. "This is you practically nude! Everyone is going to see this!" He finally turned towards her. He noticed her laughing.

"You think it's funny that everyone gets to see you the way I see you?" She was taking steps backwards as he stepped towards her. Finally her back was against the counter. She was trapped by his hands on both sides of her. "Well if this was published. It wouldn't be in a magazine - it would be online."

He groaned. "And that's supposed to make me feel better?" She laughed. "Well what do you want me to do about it?"

Sara was loving this. Justin didn't come off as a jealous type. Or at least someone that expresses it. "Can you tell someone you don't want to use any of those photos where you're practically nude?"

She shrugged. "I think it's too late, plus it's not up to me. Just tell your teammates not to look."

Justin growled. Before she knew it she was being picked up and in a flash, thrown on her bed. She laughed as her oversized tee-shirt (courtesy of his closet) was thrown somewhere. She opened her legs but instead she was thrown on her knees. Before she could say anything he slapped her ass hard enough to where she fell forward on the bed. She felt his fingers hit her spot between her legs.

She moaned as she felt his tongue combine with his hands. "Baby please I need you inside of me." He moved and she heard him undress. Justin was inside her and found a rhythm quickly, not having the patience either.

Sara forgot they weren't alone. Justin was rough and fast and she loved it. "Uh uh uh." Along with skin slapping was sound throughout her room. She heard Justin's soft moans behind her. Oh how much she loved the noises Justin made, he wasn't the most vocal, but the noises he did make were so hot. It let her know he was enjoying it as much as she was. Eventually she found herself getting close, which she knew he could tell based on his movements and noises. "Oh fuck Sara."

Her front collapsed on the bed as the orgasm washed over her, Justin right behind her. Moaning, he filled her up before putting his weight on her. Eventually he rolled off and onto his stomach. Taking the opportunity of him exposing his backside, she slapped his ass. He flinched. "What the hell was that for?" She laughed. "Oh so Crosby and Carr get to do it. But with me that's different.?"

"It's part of the game. I do it with my teammates all the time. With you it's different." She saw him raise his hand out of the corner of her eye and quickly tried to roll on her back but he was faster. "OWW!" She cried out and glared at him. "My hit wasn't that hard asshole." His hand rubbed the spot he hit with also a couple squeeze thrown in. They cuddled together and Sara ran her fingers through his hair. His breathing evened out and she had thought he'd fallen asleep. "I love you," She whispered.

He mumbled. "I love you too"

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sara woke up late, he was gone. Which was to be expected. She decided not to go to the facility today. Instead she had more runway practice and she was going to attempt kickboxing with her friend.

Speaking of, she found her in the kitchen drinking a breakfast smoothie. She was on the phone speaking in a low voice so Sara couldn't hear. AnnSophie was giggling, when she looked up and saw Sara standing in the doorway with a questioning look on her face, she quickly said bye and hung up. "I didn't know you were up. Well get ready,we are meeting Stephanie in an hour."

"And just who was that?" The blonde shook her head. "It was nobody, come on let's go."

They got ready and headed to West Hollywood. They did a couple hours of training. In which Sara looked and felt more confident. Granted, she wasn't supermodel material like Bella and AnnSophie, but she wouldn't be made fun of out there.

The paparazzi was out in full force, they did keep their distance while snapping pictures of the two of them. Sara was appreciative and gave them a big smile. 

She went about her day, not thinking anything of the photos. But people were talking

Tiktok

User video : *Sara smiling at camera* "You cannot tell me she isn't in a relationship. Look at that smile. 

Comments:

User 1: ooh maybe her and Harry are back together!

User 2: doubt it. He's been all over the place touring its not going to happen

 User3: My 2023 predictions have them reuniting. I would love that!

Twitter:

User 1: she's in a relationship. Girl is getting dick on the regular. She's is glowing!

User 2: who you think she's seeing? People would have figured it out by now.

User 1: I don't know but whoever it is is a lucky motherfucker.

User 3: there's rumors of her seeing Dylan O' Brian. They were flirty on the tonight show a few months ago!

User 4: oh my god what if her and Harry are back together! #Hara 

The hashtag #Hara trends on twitter 

FANS HOPE SARA WOZNIAK AND HARRY STYLES REUNITE.

Ever since Director Olivia Wilde and Harry Styles split. Fans have been excited to have the possibility of Harry and Sara Wozniak's reunion. Fans, who dubbed them the couple name Hara, shared how thrilled they would be if the couple were to reunite.

To be fair, it wouldn't be a far off reach. Sara and Harry have been liking each other's Instagram posts. Sara was spotted at Harry's concert in New York before Olivia and Harry's split.

—----------------------------------------------------------------*----

Jack wasn’t making any progress, anytime he thought he had a lead it would end up a dead end, and he would tread elsewhere, vowing to go back to Sara’s relationship.

He was browsing through Instagram, a bottle of wine next to him. His boyfriend was working late, and he had his cat to keep him company. He was mindlessly scrolling through the recommended pages of celebrity gossip. His account was on lockdown, after exposing a number of celebs personal lives and being hit and threatened with lawsuits it was a good idea to keep things on the down low.

He clicked on a paparazzi picture of Sara. She was at what looked to be a dunkin donuts. In colorful sweatshirt and jeans. She had a  mask on and a baseball cap, but you could tell it was her. The account was @whatsarawears, dedicated to finding details on her wardrobe, and where to find dupes for the designer items. 

There were two pictures side by side. One of the coffee place, the other at a grocery store. Caption read Sara spotted at the Dunkin Donuts at the Oregon/California border. Also later that day in the same Louis Vuitton sweatshirt. November 6th.

Jack's eye furrowed, what would she be doing in Oregon? He typed her name in the IMBD and saw no upcoming projects announced to wear she would be in Oregon?

He grabbed his laptop off the coffee table and opened google chrome. Typing in 'Oregon'

All the basic information about the state came up. He tried to click through things but to no avail. He tried 'Things to do in Oregon' 

He scrolled to find nothing a celebrity like her would be interested in. Granted, Oregon was beautiful from the photos, but nothing that would catch the attention of a mega celebrity like her. Maybe she had a getaway home like most celebs did in another state. But then again, who would choose Oregon?

He thought about it. Well it was close to Cali. Maybe he should try a different approach

'Best neighborhoods for young people to live' 

It was stupid, but he was desperate. He clicked and clicked and looked up neighborhoods closest to her home base in Los Angeles. Nothing, not a single fucking thing. Frustrated, he was ready to throw his laptop.

Sara Wozniak was in a relationship and he was going to find out every detail.

A/N: Thought I would get this one out before tomorrow nights game. Y’all remember Jack? Well we are slowly setting the scene for next month

[ratquesadilla]

3005 (chapter 4)

pairing: jake “hangman” seresin x fem! mitchell! oc

word count: 1532

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41505768/chapters/108910935

“it’s an existential thing”

a story where the return of north island's resident player leaves a girl with a lot of influence in a predicament.

chapter 3 - series masterlist - full masterlist

----

dogfight football. a game invented by my uncle and its legacy passed on through my father. tom would never admit it but my dad was far better than him at the game. dogfighting had always been my dads thing, in the sky and on the ground. even though pete didn’t teach me how to play, i had a knack for the sport just like him. 

it was always fun to surprise the new top gun aviators. i wasn’t exactly what they were expecting when they heard about a “surprise visitor to make the game more interesting”. they came in expecting someone like hollywood, and left with their ass whooped by me. a callsign-less “civilian”. 

i heard through the grapevine (bradley) that my father had sent out a last minute message, reporting the dagger squad to meet at the beach behind the hard deck as opposed to the base. i had a feeling that the aviators were gonna be subjected to my fathers favorite game, but i had no idea it would be so soon. usually the dogfighting on land happened on an off day, but i wasn’t complaining. 

bradley was an early riser, as were most of the people in the military, and i wasn’t. the only thing i loved more than my family was hitting snooze on my alarm. but today i was awake at almost the same time as him, eager to get to the beach and play some football. it was also the first time since his arrival that i’d gotten the chance the have a proper conversation with my brother. “long time no see bradshaw.” i said, walking into the kitchen and making a beeline for the fridge. 

“i could say the same for you, mitchell.” he replied, turning to face away from the coffee machine. “coffee?”

“i would love some. do you want eggs? im making bagel sandwiches.”

“sure, did you fuck hangman?” he asked, pausing before asking his question. seemingly unphased by the explosive question he just asked. 

“ok first of all, no callsigns in the house you of all people should know that. and second of all i did not sleep with him, we had dinner thats all.” i shot back, sticking my tongue out at him like i did when we were little. “also why do you care? you jealous?”

“never in a million years.” he scoffed. “i would rather stick my dick in a meat grinder.”

“ok well if you get to ask me a completely random question i get to ask you one.” i said, tossing the bagel into the toaster. “why was jake drunker than us on homecoming night when javy brought him to the house the other night?”

“drinking game.” he shrugged, completely unphased by the question.

“drinking game?” i complained. “hes a fucking navy pilot what drinking game leaves him drunk as a skunk?”

“one that involves you.” 

“excuse me? why am i involved in your childish dick measuring contests?”

“okay it wasn’t a dick measuring contest, phoenix and i just wanted to see how far he would go to get an audience with uncle tom. he came back into the bar talking about needing to earn your number” he said, putting emphasis on the “earn”. 

“so you made him drink until he was too wasted to stand?” 

“we didn’t make him do anything, he wanted to do it.”

“you are gonna be the death of me bradshaw.” i opened my mouth to continue speaking but the sound of the toaster finishing my bagel occupied my attention. we didn’t need to be at the beach until 9 so bradley and i had a slow breakfast. we took our time catching up, swapping stories from his deployments and my various experiences with drunk delinquents at the bar. i suspected that my brother purposefully bringing up hangman stories from when they were originally at top gun. he wasn’t overprotective or anything, but i think he was a little weary of what might happen between us. seresin was a notorious womanizer, in the years that they’d known each other he hadn’t changed. bradley wasn’t gonna tell me what to do, he knew that he couldn’t do anything to stop me, but he could sure as shit try. after all, knowing what to expect going in is better than getting crushed with 50 tons of unexpectancy. bradley also made it very known that if hangman hurt me, there would be consequences. 

as we were getting in the car he gave me the classic “be safe, don’t do anything stupid, give ‘em hell” speech, one that i’d heard from my father, my brother, my uncle, and pretty much every man related to me. “should we surprise them?” i asked. “i can wait in the hard deck and make my grand entrance.”

“god you do that one every time.” bradley droned. “switch it up for once. what about the ‘i’m not great at football go easy on me’ routine?”

“ooh i love that one” i exclaimed. “would they fall for it tho? i feel like some of them know what i’m capable of.”

“all the guys there see a pretty girl and lose all their judgement, you’ll be fine.” his statement was returned with various gagging noises.

“that’s disgusting bradshaw.”

“that’s just how they are i guess.”

“like you’re any better.” i replied, rolling my eyes as we pulled into the parking lot. i noticed hangmans truck almost immediately. blushing at the idea of seeing him again so soon. bradley took note of the redness in my cheeks and began teasing. pretending to call hangman over, or whispering the occasional “oh jake, i would love for you to tackle me with your big strong arms”. bradley bradshaw was a lot of things, but he was a child at the end of the day. we got out of the car and began walking towards the beach, immediately being greeted by a hyperactive bunch of aviators. my dad ordered the pilots at attention and began explaining the rules, and i occasionally butted in with my own questions. i was dedicated to my con, after all seeing the look on everyones faces when i turned out to be a secret dogfight football god would be so worth it. 

after explaining the rules my dad split us onto 2 teams, with hondo in charge of keeping track. the first team was natasha, fanboy, jake, my father, omaha, halo, and javy, and the rest of us were team two. bradley and i had been playing dogfight football since we were in highschool, individually we were amazing and together we dominated. over the years we’d created various plays and could tell what the other was doing with the slightest movement. i had never played with bob or payback before i had a feeling they were hidden aces. call it instinct. either way i could usually tell when someone had a hidden talent for the game. 

“you sure you’ll be okay angel?” a voice behind me asked, snapping me out of my obsessive analysis of the teams. “i wouldn’t want you to mess up that pretty face.”

“god i have no idea.” i said, putting on my best ‘defenseless’ face and bringing my hand to my chest. trying my best to look like the hopeless southern belle’s jake was used to. “i’m a little worried.” 

hangman made more cocky conversation and i simply nodded along, trying to tug on his heartstrings, until my father announced the start of the game. my team lined up, hangman and rooster taking their places at the front for the first handoff. 

——

i tapped out an hour into the game, leaving the aviators behind and making a b-line for the hard deck. the cool air hitting me in the face as soon as i opened the door, inviting me to the bar to make a drink to further cool me down. i looked out the windows facing the beach, seeing my new (and old) friends run around like a pack of dogs.

moments like this were rare. most of the people i’d grown up with were either dead or not living on north island anymore. seeing my brother and my dad getting along was a foreign concept after he’d pulled bradleys papers, but their playful competitiveness brought a smile to my face. their relationship was rocky, despite caroles efforts to keep them together. after her death bradley pushed away from everyone, creating even more of a divide between him and my father. 

as i exited the bar and took a seat next to penny on the deck, i realized i hadn’t thought about iceman all day.

it scared me a little, thinking about how easy it was to put him on the back burner.

to be honest, everything going on with hangman was terrifying. my entire life i’d attached myself to the people i cared about, and continually lost those people. first goose, then carole, and soon uncle tom. i lived in constant fear that i would be alerted of my father or bradleys untimely demise. 

did i want to spend the rest of my life with someone who’s life could be taken away in an instant?

[bunnymajo]

Posted these OC fun facts on discord, so I'm posting them here for preservation :3

Thistle:

Favorite Color: (of all time)Mauve Pink and (currently) Acid Lime Green

Favorite Flower: Cactus Blossoms but uses, uh, Thistles as a signature flower. He likes them because it reminds him of him and Surge together (it's pink, green & spikey)

What they would take on a deserted island: A laptop & a classic romance novel (he's a sucker for the classics & old hollywood, he wildly misinterprets them, but he loves them)

Idea/Inspiration for them: based on a bumblekast question/description about a Glitch ver. Amy, but I liked the idea of Surge just having a rabid fanboy (different from Kit) and gave him a more eccentric flair. Design wise I wanted him to look like a punk version of a normal schoolboy, and tried to make his personality more feminine & extroverted (since Surge leans more masculine & Surge & Kit are both more introverted). I also pulled inspiration from few obsessive characters like Kish from Tokyo Mew Mew & Lum from Urusei Yatsura

Quake:

Favorite Color: Coral Red, but any jewel tones she think are very pretty

Favorite Flower: Shepherd's Purse, she likes it for it's medicinal values and also thinks it's cute and simple

What they would take on a deserted island: She would think it'd be a great time for meditating so probably a sketch diary to keep track of her thoughts/draw anything neat she finds

Idea/Inspiration for them: I like powerful ladies, I'm also plus sized so any plus sized rep in my favorite media is welcomed, and noticed that Blaze doesn't have a powerhouse lady companion (aside from herself) so I just kinda took it as a challenge to see if I could make it work and I think I found the right balance.

Pop & Crackers:

Favorite Color: Navy Blue & Off-white, it reminds her of her favorite sports team

Favorite Flower: "Why would I care about lame things like flowers?" - Pop. Crackers likes Gardenias, they smell nice.

What they'd take to a deserted island: Stuff to play beach volleyball

Idea/Insp: Also based on a bumblekast question lol (glitch Cream), since Cream is sweet & supportive & brings out the best in people, I wanted Pop to just have a total bratty sibling vibe. I like baseball and thought a team sport angle would be a great way to incorporate a chao teammate. Since she's also an opponent for Kit, I thought it'd be interesting if she shared personality traits with Surge. Like it's cool when Surge acts like a braggart, but anyone else I think he'd find much more annoying & be able to show no mercy to

Mimi Mint:

Favorite Color: Mint Green XD but any shade of green she likes

Favorite Flower: Any fruit tree blossoms (Apple, Cherry, Peach, Lemon etc.) she's a farmer girl, she loves any kind of spring flower, it's a sign of good things.

What they'd take to an island: a boat to leave. she would not have a good time after the first afternoon

Idea/Insp: she's based on my Forces oc so she's basically an idealized me :'D but I like characters that are just normal people doing their best

Opal

Favorite Color: Hot Pink, the brighter and gaudier the better

Favorite Flower: Pink Peonies, anything big and explosive looking like Dahlia or huge Roses she likes too

What they'd take to a deserted island: "Oh how fabulous, is there a resort there? A spa?....not even a hotel? ...oh. you mean deserted deserted, how quaint. No thank you, I'll pass" - Opal. (She would have some giant trendy sunglasses on her though)

Idea/Insp: If I don't make a magical girl fit somewhere in my favorite media I'll die

[magnorious]

Pirates of the Caribbean and How It Perfectly Executes A Theme

We are taught from a very young age, every year in English class, to study the theme of the texts we read. What “theme” means evolves with the complexity of the class.

Theme is first a single concept: Good versus Evil, for example. Then it’s a statement: Hubris leads to ultimate downfall. One cannot repeat the past. Comfort creates complacency creates apathy.

I like to think of theme as the question your story must answer. When all those people in all those stories had the chance of turning back, only they didn’t, what were they holding onto?

Answer: “That there is some good in this world, and it’s worth fighting for.”

That’s theme.

You as the creator ask a question to the world, and in your work, you provide the answer. Your work is your argument for your case, proven through as many characters as possible.

So how important is this notion of one central, driving idea to your story? Depends on the goal of the story. Those that serve as lessons or warnings or to inspire, probably should know and make explicitly clear what they want their audience to walk away with. If it’s a comedy, or an explosive action movie purely to distract so you can switch off your brain for two hours, then having a central idea is less important.

Theme is the common thread that streamlines a plot, when done well. It helps cut out the fat. Remembering you have one for each and every element you write helps you decide what is necessary and helpful, and what can be left out or modified.

But are action adventure blockbusters and life lessons mutually exclusive? Of course not. Enter Curse of the Black Pearl.

I adore Pirates of the Caribbean (1-3 we are not here for anything that comes after).

There’s a hundred and one essays out there about these movies and I’m likely not the last to point out what I’m about to say, but for a film franchise this old, to still having fresh content be made about it, praising it, there is something to be said about Pirates’ legacy.

So CoBP is based off the Disney ride, something with little depth or substance to its name pre-film franchise money boon. It being based off this ride, not a book or historical figure or event, or a previous film, this gave the writers the perfect advantage: It forced them to be creative.

Which is apparently kryptonite to Hollywood, but here you go.

This movie was so underestimated, so surrounded with disregard and skepticism, that it allowed Pirates the complete freedom to do whatever it wanted with almost zero stakes. It allowed for sincerity and passion, instead of being controlled by the unseen strings of shadowy producers and statistics.

Which meant that the writers were able to write the good story first, and cater to the money second.

CoBP poses a question, a theme, and spends the entire movie answering that question, and defending its argument.

“Can a pirate be a good man?”

Pirates is a story about social dichotomy first, and an action adventure movie about scurvy-ridden undead sea-farers second. The sequels, notably, do not keep providing arguments to answer that question, or provide a new question to answer. They are absent of a theme as strong as this one.

So can a criminal, a pirate, an orphan blacksmith, be a good man worthy of praise, or the love of his life? Can he overcome the societal boxes he is forced to be in, break out of his prescribed role, and perfectly blur the line between a man with a “sense of propriety” and a hero who, though he works outside of the law, still does the right thing in the end?

CoBP says: Yes.

We have four characters who answer this question of black and white social dichotomy all in different ways: Jack, Will, Norrington, and Elizabeth.

Jack is a pirate captain, wrongfully mutinied upon by his greedy crew and left to die before escaping with his life. Because his crew ousted him, because they were greedy, Jack was unable to take part in the curse cast on the crew by the treasure they stole before the plot began. For ten years now, the undead crew of the Black Pearl have been hunting down all the pieces of the treasure they stole, and Jack has been trying to get his ship back from his mutinous first mate. 

Elizabeth is the governor’s daughter, locked like a bird in a cage in her suffocating life, strongly encouraged by her father (who is genuinely a good man, not an ass like he easily could have been), to marry a man of the Navy, Norrington.

Will is an orphan rescued years prior by a ship Elizabeth was on, having been stranded at sea. He’s brought up as a blacksmith’s apprentice, and he and Elizabeth want very badly to be with each other but due to the massive divide between their social classes, it’s just not meant to be.

That’s the setup, then the plot begins.

Jack arrives in Port Royal looking to steal a ship to go hunt down the Black Pearl. Meanwhile Elizabeth is being courted by Norrington, the navy commodore, and due to her suffocating life and literally suffocating dress, she falls off a fort wall into the ocean below. Jack is around to rescue her.

Upon doing so, he’s discovered as a pirate and one of the movie’s signature exchanges occurs, when Norrington chides Jack for being “The worst pirate I’ve ever heard of,” and Jack responds: “But you have heard of me.”

And in the same conversation we have: “One good deed is not enough to redeem a man of a live of wickedness.” // “Though it seems enough to condemn him.” Sidetrack, I firmly believe Jack is absolutely referencing “People aren’t cargo” from AWE, even though that script wasn’t even a passing notion yet.

So already we have a rebuttal for the question, the theme of the story. Can a pirate also be a good man? Well, here is a pirate who did a good deed. What do you do with him?

The answer is to send Jack to the gallows.

Jack’s arrested, Elizabeth is safe but spooked, Will has missed all of this. Then the Black Pearl crew attack the city and due to some misassumptions, Elizabeth is taken captive by the previously mutinous first mate turned new captain, Barbossa.

(Sidetrack, this post isn’t about Barbossa but he’s not a bad dude, either. Will, Jack, and Elizabeth are just in the way of him breaking an awful curse. CoBP has two of the most unique villains in any summer blockbuster.)

Will, wanting to save her, frees Jack from prison since the Military’s strict rules prevent Norrington from speeding things along, and they go off together, breaking the law to do the right thing.

Plot progresses, we find out about the curse on the undead pirates, get some character development and backstory. Norrington is obligated to join the hunt now that Jack has commandeered one of his ships.

Due again to misassumptions, the undead pirates think Elizabeth is the key to breaking their curse, and take her to the Isla de Muerta to spill her blood over the cursed Aztec gold. It fails, because she’s not the person they need, and Will and Jack arrive in time to save her.

Turns out that Will is the person they need. Will’s father was a pirate, not the “good man” he believes him to be. Will’s father did the right thing, standing up for Jack against the mutiny, and was punished for it. It’s his blood that will break the curse.

Piratey ship battles occur, the protagonists’ ship is overtaken, Will’s discovered as the proper blood bag and Elizabeth and Jack are marooned. It’s Will’s turn to be sacrificed, only now Norrington has rescued Elizabeth and Jack and must decide whether to keep to his duty and drag Jack back to face judgment, or rescue Will.

Elizabeth persuades Norrington by agreeing to marry him if he helps Will and they all go to rescue him. Norrington screws his crew over by ignoring Jack’s advice, more piratey battles happen only now with an undead sword fight gimmick.

The curse is broken, enemies killed or captured, and come the end of the film, Jack is taken to face judgment, Elizabeth has agreed to marry Norrington, Will’s once again alone, and Norrington has done his duty. They even say it, explicitly, that everyone has kept their word, and no one is happy about it.

So then the final minutes are closing in, and Will comes to rescue Jack from the gallows, Elizabeth declares her love for Will, and Norrington… lets them all go. He’s a very rare honest hero, despite being an antagonist, and I wish there were more people out there written like him.

So the question of the narrative: Can someone deemed undeserving of praise and good fortune by society, actually deserve it in the end?

Jack answers it the most explicitly. Can a pirate be a good man? Yes. That line I highlighted earlier, “though one good deed seems enough to condemn him.” Jack would not have gotten caught had he not done the right thing.

Jack’s full semi-canon backstory is that he was a lawful privateer, then he was commissioned to haul slaves for the East India Trading Company. Jack refused, because, and I quote, “People aren’t cargo.” And because of that choice, the legally wrong thing to do but morally just cause, he was branded a Pirate, literally. One good deed was enough to condemn him to a life of piracy.

That semi-canon backstory was a deleted scene because the writers knew including it would make him unamibiously a hero, and remove a lot of the tension from AWE when it came time for Jack to decide whether or not to save Will and lose immortality, because we’d all know what the answer would be.

He’s self-serving more often than not, but in the end, he is a pirate, and a good man.

Elizabeth also answers this question, in a different way. She is also two nigh-incompatible things at once. She is a proper lady, and a sword-fighting badass pirate herself (eventually, Pirate King). Can a woman of her stature and social standing, also be a pirate? Yes.

Norrington answers this in another different way: Can a good man remain a good man, even if he acts outside the law to do good things? He is shown he’s wrong, proved by Jack and Will, and admits defeat come the end of the film. The Governor explicitly says that sometimes an act of piracy, if it may be the only course of action, is the right course of action.

And finally, Will. Will, who must reconcile with the fact that his father is both a pirate, and a good man. That ‘one good deed was enough to condemn’ two good men, branded as criminals by the laws that be. That he himself, is a pirate, and a good man. The iconic pirates theme “He’s a Pirate,” the title comes from a line at the end of this movie references Will, not Jack.

Elizabeth’s father accepts that his daughter loves Will, and admits that despite his upbringing and lacking social status, Will is a “good man.” It’s Elizabeth who corrects her father and says, “No, he’s a pirate.”

This is a fantastic movie, and so much of it comes from the theme. It’s not just a movie about pirates, it’s a question about society and the lines we draw to create artificial hierarchies so that those deemed worthy by arbitrary rule succeed, and those deemed unworthy are punished.

Thanks for letting me soapbox; TLDR: CoBP is a fantastic case study in thematic storytelling by using its four main characters to answer the question of the theme: Can a pirate be a good man? Will, Jack, Elizabeth, and Norrington all represent dichotomous sides of societal expectations: A poor, orphan blacksmith wanting to court a society lady AND a good man being a pirate (Will), a pirate being a *decent* man, when pushed (Jack), a society lady breaking free of classist expectations and being her true, nerdy and badass self (Elizabeth), and an honest military man skirting the law to do what’s right (Norrington). It’s just a shame that the other movies couldn’t be as strong.

[shortieinaleatherjacket]

Ok so unpopular opinion, but something about glass onion just didn’t sit right with me. No doubt I loved the idea of the movie. I absolutely loved Helen as a character. I loved the message of the entire movie. I think there were very clever moments, and I loved that u can go back and see Miles with the gun. I think miles as an antagonist was also great. Plus bonus for getting to see the fun side of Beniot Blanc.

But it just didn’t feel as fleshed out as Knives Out.

The suspense for me just wasn’t there

It felt underdone and overdone in different ways

Knives out it’s own unique dark tone,

The tone was conveyed by everything from the lighting to the basic layout, to the way the people spoke, and how it was paced

But Glass Onion felt like it had a generic tone,

The tone felt as fake Cassandra’s friends

It felt too bubbly in a way,

Obviously the dark tone of Knives Out WOULD NOT have fit Glass Onion. But the bubbly and bright tone felt a bit too Hollywood-big and bright for me.

And some parts of the movie felt like they were overdone. For example the blow up scene. I legit thought everyone had died in that explosion because it looked like it would have obliterated everyone in that glass dome.

So it felt wrong when they were all alive and unharmed by the flames. I was like “oh ok” I guess someone just wanted to really show off their special effect skills with a GIANT ASS EXPLOSION with no regard for the reality of a hydrogen bomb on the human anatomy.

Anyway, I’ll have to watch it again to really get a good feel for it but it’s all personal opinion

[j4m3s-b4k3r]

deadpan & deadly

A recent TV favourite is the Australian crime comedy MR INBETWEEN. About a night club bouncer who is embroiled in underworld shadiness on the side. While also raising his ’tween daughter, dating, and caring for his terminally ill brother. 

The 'hitman as everyman' is by now a tired trope, and I wasn’t expecting to like this show as much as I did. However, I was quickly on the hook. Constantly marvelling at the balancing act this series manages, between laughs, and grim spectacles of mortality & dread. A dreadpan comedy. This show manages to be funny, terrifying, and even (surprisingly) poignant. 

All 26 episodes in the 3 season run were written by Scott Ryan, who also stars as Sydney crim, Ray Shoesmith. Every episode was directed by Nash Edgerton, one of the founders of Blue Tongue films. I first became aware of this collective of filmmakers via their short films SPIDER, BEAR and I LOVE SARAH JANE. They’d started making shorts a few years earlier, to support each other and expand their skills. Going on to make several highly regarded feature films (including ANIMAL KINGDOM).

Nash Edgerton started his career as a stuntman on such films as TWO HANDS (a personal fave) and Hollywood blockbusters shot in Australia (like the MATRIX trilogy and STAR WARS prequels) while directing rock videos & short films. Including the one that got him noticed, 1997’s DEADLINE. 

In 2005, Edgerton saw an early 30 minute cut of THE MAGICIAN. A mockumentary following a Melbourne hit man on the job. Scott Ryan wrote, directed, and starred in it himself, on a budget of $3,000. Edgerton helped expand it to feature length, getting it a cinematic release in 2005. Ryan & Edgerton then developed the film into a TV series, and took it to networks. All balked at a show starring the unknown Ryan. 

Then, in 2018, the FX network took a chance on MR INBETWEEN. Perhaps because by that time Edgerton’s stock had risen, having directed feature films THE SQUARE, GRINGO, and several high profile rock videos. Ryan had never been on a professional film set before working on MR INBETWEEN. He'd only done odd jobs. Driving taxis and delivering pizzas since last being in front of the camera, over a decade earlier.

So it’s perhaps understandable that networks hesitated. Assuming that he couldn’t carry a series. However, I’m glad they finally took a chance, as Scott Ryan gives the performance of a well seasoned actor. With range to deliver brilliantly timed deadpan comedy, deadly rage, and even existential sadness.

Being embroiled in the everyday lives of antiheroes is one of TV’s most familiar setups. A ‘way in’ to a loon's life, allowing the average non-psychopath to empathise with (if not exactly like) the main character. We learned to understand Tony Soprano (the prototype for all these recent ‘everyman’ goons) when introduced to him via his therapy sessions. It was hard not to feel for Walter White, as he dealt with his financial & medical emergencies. 

Similarly, when Ray talks about unicorns with his daughter over ice cream, or reads her a children’s book, of course we’ll see the softer side of the hardened crook. But for me, 'getting' Ray, began when he took the blame for his buddy Gary’s porn stash. Discovered by Gary’s wife. In taking a bullet for his mate, and willingly copping naked contempt for it, I began to actually like Ray, and his personal no mate left behind warrior code.

Some early reviews complained that the basic idea for the series was nothing new. It's true that we do see Ray in anger management classes, and other such familiar scenes (entertaining though they may be). However, the series evolves, and by season two I found the stories to be uniquely thrilling affecting and funny. Critics who stayed with the series agree.

The 19-25 minute episodes are miracles of narrative compression. They swoop in, set their explosive timers, and get out. Just like Ray on a mission. Some are purely funny. Focusing on bickering between Ray and his crim cohorts. Or verbal sparring with his daughter & brother (the bogan poetry of my people bantering was, for me, a constant pleasure). There are also brief, existential meditations. Other episodes are barely verbal - action movies distilled to a white knuckled twenty minutes. Taken as a whole, the series is a crime comedy that evolves into something more. A smorgasbord of brilliantly written, acted and directed short films - serving laughter, horror, thrills, and heartbreak.

---------

Nash Edgerton’s most recent directing was for the Irish black comedy thriller BODKIN on Netflix. Scott Ryan is apparently writing new stuff, but has kept a low profile since MR INBETWEEN. That great series had a long gestation, and the next one might too. I'll gladly wait as long as it takes for him to deliver his next gem.

[the-firebird69]

Captain America Brave New World #hollywood #shorts

And this could be Ken and he can do that and he can get real big and can dope and these are people who are harassing him in meetings and telling him he's wrong and screwing around with him but he does it to our son and quite a bit and he's a lazy piece of nothing they don't do anything and it's terribly boring a large part it's the creature that is inhabited his body it's a brain transplant to half of it if it was him before and he wouldn't be behaving this way no and his mom either but this is what they are now they commit crimes they pay for the crimes he's an animal pretty much and he doesn't do anything all day to fight the guy and it's the most horrific boring thing you've ever heard and we don't want to go through it and on the outside they act as one person and they get beat up quite a bit and it's dangerous to our son because of his attitude it's terrible just keep saying he's small now do what you can just leave him alone you're small to me in that body right now ask him about you stupid queer so Ken says go ahead ask and he says what can you do and he says he can break a car engine with a street in the pool of light Bass am I using it like a hammer I said oh I've never seen that. And can can or Kenneth can't get to the copy but he knows people that have one. So they're saying for him to go get it this is no no and that was our son saying no because that means you'd have to get it and this laughter this is even if you have the other guy do it it's still you so he says I guess I can't get that for you to see so there's a little laughter and the guy inside to say but I haven't seen anything I said can't send you to go get it and he started laughing again cuz I don't send him to go get it but I guess that would meet me too and so we do understand they're having a problem but together they're horrible and he's being horrible and tried to use our son's credit and he's in trouble and it seems just doing it the trousers are doing it and try to have him do it and he went through it before told the guy not to and he can't help it cuz he feels like a weekly if you can't get a credit card our son keeps on bothering him about it and now the trumps try to use it because there's a scum. We're going to use your people against you Trump one way or the other no you heard how we're going to take your territories over think about it stupid you're under duress everyone's attacking you you start attacking them to try and take your cities back causes of war between your cities we could care less you're not doing anything you're not going to go down there and we noticed it then if you want expeditions but really they're going to sit there and do nothing and they're not concerned about the Max and the uranium and it making the world's not explosive they think we'll have to fight them so we're going to go ahead and take them apart and get their asses off the ships are not even going to watch those it's a huge pain in the ass.

When they're building their cities and it started 30 years ago they started to say it we can't just sit here but we can just sit out there and I had people look at it that's what they're doing right now they're having huge battles between each other and we haven't been grabbing them no we we have been a lot of them and we invent to use it I was sick and tired of them and we're going to make sure that they get the message eventually you're not to talk to me too I'm trying to text us and we're going to get you and you're going to be horrified absolutely horrified at the sheer numbers that are going to be attacking you a yes and Hera has said in the past it's his idea she doesn't like it it's gross that she helps me get work. He's kind of a massive pig she says but it's for us and it's out of love and mother and father like it no they love it they say it in the songs this is probably one of the biggest moments in our lives she says because we're going to be freed from this is floating around us and s*** and making people yell and scream and get in fights it's all going to go away and that was Hera just now and it's true too. They try and get into your interpersonal stuff Non-Stop and it's annoying as hell and it's going to end with this idiot Trump smiling about it saying that he's AI boy then he's going to say they're down in the ships and our son is mocking his son because he says I mean on it with you and s*** like that it's flipping Trump off saying that's what he gets. Dave is having a good time he says but no is the answer and a certain type of fighting that Dave does he says that we're going to use and it's guerrilla warfare and use it on Trump if we have to these armies are much larger than you think

Thor Freya

Olympus

Zues Hera

[maikingsenseofit]

The Epitome of Yin and Yang: Mai and Zuko

In the next part of my meta I wanted to talk about how Mai and Zuko are the epitome of yin and yang. But before that, I wanted to clarify what the definition of yin and yang means in the language and culture it was written in, not the Westernized, Hollywood portrayal. And who better to answer this than the brilliant @lj-writes, who so beautifully summarized it as follows:

“Yin, as you may know, is the principle of dark (NOT evil), quiet, shadows, the feminine. It’s going with the flow, the valley the river flows down to, the ground that takes the light and the rain water and makes flowers bloom. Yang is the principle of light (NOT good), sun, sky, the masculine. It’s the volcanic explosion, the burst of a geyser, the force that goes skyward against gravity. It’s the mountain that reaches for the heavens. the sky that gives the light and the rain to the earth.”

“Energy flows from the yang and into the yin, and the creative silence of the yin draws out of its womb-dark depths new things--new life, new energy, new thoughts--to start the cycle again. They are night and day, fire and water, sky and earth. They lie entwined like lovers but hold the space of all creation between them, and in their embrace all things are born, live, and die.”

Yin and Yang might be physically and symbolically represented by the moon and the sun, dark and light, fire and water, good and evil - but it does not represent or characterize the philosophical, emotional, and interpersonal meaning of yin and yang. Like LJ Writes says, confining the definition of yin and Yang only to gender and element is “sexist and heteronormative, and literalizes what were meant to be symbolic representations”. So given that the idea of Yin and Yang on a much broader level represents opposite forces that are actually interconnected and counterbalancing, let’s understand what this means in the context of who people are (their personalities, ideologies, and the way interact with the world) instead of who they are (characteristics they are born with like gender and element).

@lj-writes does a brilliant job of dissecting yin and Yang into personality traits and how they perfectly align to the canonical relationships (Mai and Zuko, Katara and Aang). I have just a little bit more to add. When applied to people, Yin and Yang are associated with specific physical and psychological characteristics. From a scientific study by Chae, Cho, and Lee in The Integrative Medicine Journal:

“The individuals with Yang personality (high SPQ total score) are shown to be extroverted, sociable, flexible, carefree, irritable and emotional, and those with Yin personality (low SPQ total score) are introverted, inhibited, consistent, thoughtful, calm and stable with previous studies.”

Applying Yin and Yang to personality types is a long established scientific practice, similar to Myers Briggs. Looking at this, I realllly wonder who fits the archetype the most in Avatar. You have the highly extroverted, irritable, emotional, and reactive Zuko:

And you have the introverted, calm, rational, and deliberate Mai:

Now I’ve seen plentttyyy of people argue that this means that Mai and Zuko are fundamentally incompatible, that they don’t understand each other, and that they each wish that the other person wasn’t different. That can’t be more false.

Mai and Zuko appreciate each other for their core personalities. Zuko loves the “gloomy girl that sighs a lot.” Mai loves the man that is driven by emotion and action, the one that saves her from Azula and is one of the integral reasons why she finally stands up to her. But they also acknowledge that there are parts that they need to work on and grow. This is the epitome of yin and yang: we all have a various levels of Both within ourselves. The yin in one person draws out the yang in the other. The yang in one person draws out the yin in the other. They are counterbalanced forces that drive and feed off of each other. Zuko draws out the Yang in Mai when he says “I like it when you express yourself”.

Mai, expressing herself:

And how Mai draws out the Yin in Zuko by holding Zuko accountable when he reacts disproportionately:

And that however justified, one’s trauma does not define them and the way they should interact with the world, especially when they’re being highly volatile and emotionally turbulent.

The Beach episode is only 30 minutes long. But it is the most emotionally enriching episode I’ve ever seen in a childrens tv show.

Again, a large aspect of this has been covered in this post.

Now let’s understand Yin and Yang through ideology and morality. Yin and Yang once again represents two counterbalancing forces that draw each other and balance each other out in the way a person interacts with the world (who they fundamentally are). And this is epitomized with Mai’s selfcenteredness and Zuko’s selflessness.

I’m the last person to call Mai self centered, but just hear me out. Throughout the comics and the cartoon, Mai serves to protect herself and the ones closest to her. The ones she deems important in her life. She serves in the best interests of herself and her loved ones. She protects and saves only those that she deems important in her life. She would risk her own life to protect them, but only them.

Case in point: when she protects herself by being subservient to Azula (again only when Azula’s there. Mai wouldn’t avoid the sludge if Azula was in her presence).

But she sacrifices her own life to protect Zuko.

Saves Tomtom from her dad when she deemed her brother was in danger: in the cartoon she knew Azula put her to the test and complied so she and her brother would be in tact by the end of Azula’s little game.

Saves Zuko from her dad and his cronies when an assassination plan was placed on him.

Protects her dad from Zuko because she thinks that’s the only way to ensure Tomtom’s safety. (People think she directly endangered Zuko’s life by doing this - which is preposterous because any time there is a DIRECT, IMMINENT threat to Zuko’s life she’s right fucking there to protect him). I literally saw someone say she helped her dad assassinate Zuko - like do you not see her fighting her dad’s groupies TO SAVE ZUKO?!?!

And ultimately protects Zuko and his family by turning in her father when she suspects him of kidnapping Kiyi.

Zuko on the other hand, is largely driven by selflessness. He calls out and acts upon injustice even at the cost of protecting himself and the ones he cares about. He agonizes about how he can protect as many lives as possible, how to act in the best interest of the fire nation and its citizens, and is driven by fulfilling a greater purpose even if it comes at the cost of protecting his loved ones and himself.

He narratively sacrifices a happy life with Mai, the one thing he cared about in the fire nation, to join the Avatar. He inadvertently hurts her feelings by doing so.

He stands up to his own father, despite the risks entailed with that, to fulfill the greater good in joining the Avatar and challenging the Fire nations imperialism - even if it means incurring a scar.

He hurts Katara and fights Aang when he deems them a threat to the fire nation citizens - he will put his personal feelings and relationships aside for the greater good. He still has good intentions, however.

When thinking about opposing forces balancing out - Mai’s selfcenteredness and Zuko’s selflessness are exactly what they need to ensure harmony.

If you pair two selfless people in a relationship, then you see that they will sacrifice themselves and give and give until there is nothing left of themselves - all for the purpose of fulfilling the lives of almost everyone around them. When Zuko acts as a firelord and serves as the first line of defense if anyone tries to harm his people, it comes at the cost of taking care of himself and jeapordizing personal relationships for the greater good.

On the other hand, when Mai acts out of her own best interests, she’s not growing as an individual. She’s not equipped to understand what needs to be done for the greater good, people outside of her immediate circle that need care and protection. That’s why two self centered people cannot thrive in a relationship. But let’s see how Mai’s Yin and Zuko’s yang counteract and counterbalance each other again.

As seen in the comics, Mai wants Zuko to take care of himself and protect himself despite all the arduous duties of being a fire lord.

She enlists the Kyoshi warriors to protect him physically and provide emotional support when she’s unable to do it for himself - and ultimately leaves him when he decides to console in the most dangerous person in the entire world and isn’t willing to let her or anyone else know (Suki had to literally spy on him to get that information from him). She can’t help him if he doesn’t want to be helped.

Zuko helps Mai in seeing a world beyond her own microcosm. She sacrificed her life to save Zuko - but she also saved Zuko’s friends too, who she eventually meets and befriends. She saves Zuko’s mission. She is aware of this too. If the argument is that she only saves Zuko because she’s attracted to him, that undermines the narrative importance of Sokka, Suki, and Hakoda also being on the tram. It undermines the creators deliberate choice to include her in the Gaang’s happy ending scene.

She betrays Azula to save Zuko, not for some bigger moral purpose. There’s no doubt about it. But she did it because she loved Zuko and trusted him and believed him. Her saving Zuko allowed her to gain a different perspective and understanding of the war. You see her clearly verbally and nonverbally rejecting the indoctrination of the fire nation here - also the entire Rebound comic is great evidence but I can only include so many photos lol.

And before you come at me with the shit bag of the villainization she faces because of the comics, (I saw something along the veins of how Zuko should have arrested her for treason)I have a long post coming up that addresses how Ukano emotionally abused and manipulated Mai into acting on his behalf, despite her blatant disagreement with his ideals and wanting to protect Zuko.

But you know what’s the most important? Mai performs a selfless act of heroic sacrifice for someone outside of herself, her immediate family, or Zuko, when she protects and saves Aang here. Someone who she previously traveled the entire world to hunt and harm. An example of the self centered showing her selflessness:

There’s no doubt that Zuko is shown to have achieved great work life balance in the Legend of Korra. Izumi is literally the epitome of someone who balances self-centered news with selflessness when she refuses to let her people engage in another war.

I know Mai and Zuko have a lot to work on. They’ve both done some pretty unsavorable things to each other. I acknowledge that. But I also acknowledge the fact that they’re both dynamic, growing, and willing to change and grow for each other. I do not consider Mai to be a perfect, innocent princess that can do no harm. But I recognize how much she has grown along with Zuko and that their relationship is so much more than disambiguated conversations failing to consider their character arcs and relationship trajectory.

Mai and Zuko are soulmates. I dare you to change my mind.

[sterwerssunda]

Okayyyy here I go😭 THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT

I have to talk about this movie. Because it is a masterpiece and I am going to rewatch it many times to study the nuances, so *some spoilers*

>>>

Everyone’s been fixated on Pedro Pascal and for good reason. Javi is one of the best written and acted characters I’ve ever seen, and there’s a constant tension because you just want to like him but you’re not sure if you should.

But this is a Bromance. And he’s only half the equation.

Nicholas Cage held nothing back for this movie, and what’s absolutely insane is that this isn’t really him at all.

*glances nervously at the industry before continuing

Nicholas Cage, from everything I can find, is a quirky, average person. He likes action movies. He likes acting. He prioritizes his family, and he likes to read books and sit in chairs with a cat. And that is the basis of his reality. Explosions, popcorn flicks, get paid, relax with the family.

But Nick Cage. Ohhhoho no. Nick Cage is a tormented artist, struggling with the weight of what it means to create fine art in a world that only wants car chases and guns. He cares about meaning and purpose and finding meaning in life. What it is to feel alive, why art even matters…he wants things to move him. And he finds his match in Javi.

AND THIS IS THE UNBELIEVABLE PART OKAY?!? I DO NOT KNOW IF HE EVEN KNEW HE WAS CREATING A SELF AWARE AND BITTERSWEET BROM-COM. I DON’T THINK HE UNDERSTANDS THE SCRIPT AND THE MOVIE BECAUSE THATS NOT ACTUALLY HOW HE THINKS.

So what this means. Is that Nicholas Cage, a basic oblivious white actor with some films on his IMDb, who won’t even watch the movie, has just created a poignant queer lighthearted hopeful tragedy without knowing it.

These people not only got permission to make it, but coached him somehow to deliver very believable performances, and managed to create GAY LA LA LAND, complete with the tragically “happy ending.”

And only some of the people watching will even know what they’re watching. It could be a buddy comedy to them. It could have a happy ending. Good for them, they have girls in their lives. But they’re missing the complete point of the movie.

And what kills me the most is the real villain is the audience. The movie is a baklava of layered subtext, with the “movie” they’re writing often referring to the story they’re in. And both of them want a “beautiful character piece,” but they both realize that the people, the industry…those people wouldn’t watch it. Wouldn’t get it. Wouldn’t support it. They decide with heavy hearts that it should then turn into a “Hollywood blockbuster.”

They want a nuanced gay love story, a drama, a poignant art piece. But the only way it’ll get made is if they cleverly disguise it as a guns and explosions movie. Because that will get people in the theaters. And there’s a devastation, a heartbreaking turn as the story shifts. They know it has to. But they don’t want to point guns at each other. They don’t want cheap explosions and kidnappings. But that is the way it must be.

ALL WHILE NICHOLAS CAGE HAD NO IDEA ABOUT THIS. I really think he mostly did it because of the explosions😭

But I just know that Pedro Pascal understood the assignment. That Javi’s forbidden love wasn’t just about some random girl, it was about his icon. About the person he understood the most. The one who asked to trade shoes with him.

PEDRO PASCAL IS AMAZING IN THIS MOVIE BECAUSE HE KNEW ALL THE ANGLES. JAVI IS A CHARMING BUT THREATENING GUY WHO TURNS OUT TO JUST BE THE GAY SOFTBOY WE ALL THOUGHT HE WAS.

NICHOLAS CAGE IS AMAZING IN THIS MOVIE BECAUSE THE ENTIRE CREW MANAGED TO PULL A HEARTSTOPPINGLY GAY PERFORMANCE OUT OF A STRAIGHT MAN WITHOUT HIM EVEN KNOWING. TURNING HIS MEMED AND CHAOTIC FILMOGRAPHY INTO THE BACKDROP FOR AN ACHING LONELY ARTIST PERSONA WHO WANTED ART AND LOVE AND TO FEEL SOMETHING AGAIN.

Sure, write your Javi x reader fanfics but don’t forget the Nick x Javi ones. Because this is a ship we need to protect. One that who knows how many people secretly fought for. A closeted masterpiece explaining why it can’t fully come out.

It was too short on purpose. It was fleeting and beautiful, and all our beautiful moments were exchanged for dark basements and kidnappings and guns, because that’s what the people crave. Mindless violence. Fast food stories.

SIDE NOTE IT’S ALSO HILARIOUS AND YOU’LL LAUGH SO MUCH LIKE HOWWWW

>>>

There are so many things that I know I’ve missed, and things I want to find once I own it😅

But here are bonus notes:

- the movie The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari is about an evil controlling man who makes an innocent pawn kidnap a girl.

- the movie Paddington 2 is about Paddington Bear being wrongly imprisoned and bringing the best out of his seemingly intimidating cell mates.

Already loads of theories just with that. Go dig up more. Study story and art and write the gayest shit you can. Fight for all the art. Because otherwise it’ll be taped over and replaced with what some grumpy old men with family money want just because they think they own everything. Ehehehe oh crud I’m gonna get cancelled. While I’m at it, yes. The title is a dick joke.

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 10: BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN

y/n is back in brooklyn for the holidays. thinking that a stream will make her feel less homesick for cali, she starts working on her famously titled hentai.free.srv. what was supposed to be a relaxing stream turns into a special delivery about two hours in.

─── corpse husband x reader ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 2.2k ─── ❥ req: Here's one... You know those apps for delivery like Domino's or whatnot... What if reader is streaming Among Us with Corpse, and reader mentions they're hungry and Corpse offers to order them food, and readers like no no it's fine... Then there's delivery at the door (Corpse ordered beforehand) 

author’s note: fucky format is also back in town baby!!! also if you find any mistakes - no u didnt <3 thank u everyone for enjoying this story sm i literally cant believe how feral yall going strawberry cow was a nuclear explosion im still recovering tbh. got an ask a while ago and decided to incorporate it into myso. happy holidays everyone! myso will continue on monday!

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous.  ҉   next.

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Indeed, being soft on any social media platform was the biggest disgrace and needed to be eliminated post haste. Moreover, it was a slippery slope - once you start flooding your timeline with cute imagery and heart emojis, what will stop you from posting inspirational Facebook quotes? Disgusting. If Rae were here, she would chide you (not you thinking about her as if she’s dead or something). For once in your life, you feel like you deserve it. 

Alas, you hope this little chaos you’ve caused is enough to throw everyone off. The stans, especially. You know the hashtags, you’ve seen ARMY scourging for info online with the same fervor and ruthlessness 1 Direction fans hacked airport security cameras just to spy on the boys. If you had any dirty secrets online, they are out to the public now - thankfully, besides the Harry Styles stan account (with edits and all), you have nothing. Though, now that you think about it, exposed nudes would have been better than your Punk!Harry edit receiving almost a million views. God, your life’s a fucking mess.

Your fans aren’t the only ones out for info - you, too, are trying to decipher Rae’s message. Code: Barbecue Sauce. The two of you had come up with it roughly two years ago, around the same time when you promised that if you didn’t find significant others by the time you’re 40, you’ll just marry each other. It was one of the many rules found in your friendship codex. Barbecue Sauce signifies information - an exchange of information. And depending on how it ends or begins (”So I’m sitting there” alludes to Rae, “On my titties” alludes to you), secret data on that person is given away, usually free of charge. 

But why? And to whom did Rae give away what? You had pestered her mercilessly and even sent some voice messages where you were crying. You were only crying because of a video of a grandpa smiling you saw on TikTok, but you are a snake, and so you put those tears to good use. If streaming doesn’t work out, you’ll just become an actress. Hollywood would love you. Your PR firm sure as fuck wouldn’t, though.

Rae was having none of it. She said you’ll figure it out eventually. Told you to channel your superior puzzle skills. You were quick to remind her that you can barely count to ten without having an aneurysm. Oddly serious, she admitted that she worries for you sometimes. Why only sometimes?! you demanded. She merely sighed. uttering under her breath something that sounded closely to “Boke.”

You leave her for barely a week and she’s already neck deep in the gay volleyball anime, hoodie and cardboard cutout and everything. Your life is falling apart.

But Brooklyn is nice. It had snowed when you stepped off of the plane. Thousands of snowflakes sprinkling into your hair, dotting your cheeks and nose. You missed this sight back in Cali. You missed your parents, too. 

Home cooked meals, old sweaters, your old room and about 40GB worth of old high school pictures on your computer. You went through them all one night. Some were stomach churning, cringe inducing nightmares. You were especially fond of those. Texted some of your friends that were still in Brooklyn, met up, decided to bake. Bad idea, Rae was the resident chef back in Cali. Besides laughing till your stomach hurt, and almost burning down your kitchen, nothing all that significant happened. Somewhere down the line, at about 3 am, half-way through a cheesy rom-com you had the overwhelming urge to text Corpse.

That’s where the problems really started. God, you missed California, missed being in the same timezone with a guy you hadn’t even met yet, how embarrassing is that?! You missed skating around and taking pictures of the beach in the setting sun, sending it to him, silently wishing he was with you to admire the view. 

You really want to call him. And to hang out with him. But for some reason, the thought of that springs up immediate anxiety and you shy away from asking. Him sending you cute good morning texts doesn’t help, either. Maybe it’s better he doesn’t know that you’re a blushing, stuttering mess each time you read “baby”. 

Late evening. Your stream is already set up, people are slowly trickling in and you greet them with a grin and a soft “Hello! Hi hi!”. You did your best to make your room a perfectly chaotic backdrop - led lights, an embarrassing amount of anime merch and plushies. You always try to balance out your weeb side by dressing hot as fuck for your streams - today’s inspiration just so happens to be egirls. Mostly because you watched one too many egirl make-up tutorials on TikTok, and also because you’ve been listening to Corpse’s song all day.

Yeah, no, who are you kidding, you dressed up this way because you were hoping Corpse was watching your stream. You didn’t forget your cat headphones, either. You know he likes them. You want to make him suffer. Perhaps then, finally, he will ask you out, so you wouldn’t have to.

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“I feel like,” You start when you put away your phone, staring idly at the chat, “I feel like I need a new name for you guys. Calling you guys after two years of streaming is just... weird, no? I also don’t respect men so I don’t want to call you guys. Like, so many creator’s have, like, a name for their fans. Uhm, Cody Ko has the chodesters, Kurtis Conner has, uh, folks? Kurtis Town? Citizens! Markiplier has mommy issues--” You can’t help snorting, “So, I’ve been, like, thinking - I know, shocking! - so I was thinking I’m gonna name you cockroaches. Because you’re grimy little shits impossible to kill. And also then I can use the legendary Minaj meme ROACHES!”

Your stream enthusiastically echoes ROACHES, making the chat swim. Yes, if anyone would enjoy such a name, it would be your audience. You’re as equally proud as you are disturbed.

“Well, anyway.” Leaning back into your chair, you throw your arms out with a bright grin, “Big dick is back in town, baby! If you noticed the backdrops different, it’s cuz I’m in Brooklyn now. Don’t ask me when I will return to Always Sunny, I don’t plan that far ahead.”

While Minecraft boots up, you decide to answer a few questions.

r u dating sykkuno?

You want to smack your head into the keyboard, but as it is, you can’t exactly afford a new one, so you refrain, “No, Sykkuno and I are not dating, we are just good friends. Uhm, I’m not sure how much I’ll have to repeat this, but, we really aren’t, so if the roaches could chill - Oh my God, that sounds so stupid, I love it - uh, yeah, if the roaches could chill that’d be great.”

the roaches lmao sounds like we’re a sports team

“Oh shit, yeah it does, uh-- maybe I can make like, jerseys or something. That’d be cool, I think.”

how disappointed are your parents with the way your life turned out?

“My parents are actually not disappointed at all!” You say with a cute little smile, “Uhm, they’re both really proud, actually. They’re glad I found something I love doing and made a job outta it. Dad finds my Youtube videos endearing. Yes, they watch pretty much all of my videos, unless I explicitly tell them not to. And yeah, with all the fucks and thirsting for anime characters. Uhm, it was very embarrassing at first, but I mean, after a while, shame just...doesn’t exist anymore, I guess? Funny thing about my parents, actually, when they watch my videos-” You eye catches a comment, “Oh! No, they only watch my Youtube videos. They don’t know how to use Twitter, thank God. Uhm, anyway-- when they hear a name they don’t know, like, I dunno, Dabi, or something, they google--” You’re grinning by now, eyes crinkling, giggling softly, “--who that is, and buy me like, merch and stuff. It’s really cute. 

can i be adopted by ur parents plz

will you and corpse ever collab?!

You were about to answer, though the man of the hour himself decides to do it for you.

Corpse_Husband: yes.

Okay, not to say your heart skipped a beat, but it totally did. With a pleased smile, you nod, like one of those bobble head toys sold at the dollar store. The motion is oddly reminiscent of Sykkuno’s own nod. Perhaps you had picked it up from him. The chat seems to notice.

pack it up, sykkuno

More questions pile about this mysterious collab you and Corpse are planning. Yeah, you’d like to hear more about it, too, since he single highhandedly decided one was happening right now. Corpse remains silent. Fine, keep your secrets. 

“Okay, guys, oh, I mean, roaches, Oh my God--” You’re covering your mouth, giggling, “-calling all roaches, calling all roaches, calm down. Everyone grab a snack and a blanket I’m turning up the music volume so we can all chill. Entering chill zone. Entering chill zone. Roaches, prepare.”

we are prepared

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An hour or so passes and you grow hungry. It shows with the amount of cakes you had baked in your server. Currently, you find yourself throwing eggs at the wall of one of the renovated houses, your face scrunched in concentration and slight frustration. 24 of the 50 eggs have been wasted. “What’s a girl gotta do to get some chicks around here?” you had uttered under your breath, until, finally, a screech - the egg finally spawns a mob. Your mouth falls open, “Aww, look!” You approach it, so small, walking in zigzags beside you, “It’s a baby chicken! Die, bitch.” The baby chicken is no more as you swing your bedazzled (you have mods) diamond sword. You’re cackling by the time the dust settles.

y/n is a child murderer

“Roaches,” You address your fan-base, spurring another fit of laughter - you can’t get over the name, “I think I’m like, forgetting that eating in Minecraft won’t actually make less hungry in real life.”

take a break and go eat queen <3

“Fuck no, we starve and die like men. Now I actually really need another chicken.”

Another twenty minutes trickle by and you’re trying to lure back a panda from the jungle when there’s a knock on your bedroom’s door. Whipping your head to the side, you slide down your headphones. At the same time, your mom pokes her head through the ajar door, “MOM!” You scream, “Get OUT of my room I’m playing Minecraft!” But your yell has no actual bite to it, as you don’t manage to hide your smile. Your mom laughs, doing some sort of sign language and motioning for you to follow her with her head. That or it’s some sort of performative dance. 

“I’m live right now,” You tell her, pointing at your screen. She knows this already, though, “do you want to say hi?” 

The roaches spam the chat with friendly hellos. You mom, quite impatient now, waves you over. 

“Sorry, roaches, mom needs something. Be back in a bit!”

Stopping the stream, you rush out of your seat and pleased she slinks into the hallway. “What’s this about?”

“Your pizza came.”

“My what now?” You echo, confused.

“Domino’s. You ordered pizza?”

“What? No? I was busy with the stream, I never--”

Thankfully, you had managed to grab your phone from your room before you exited. You almost choke on spit once you read the messages.

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You decide that it’ll be impossible to stream after experiencing what you had just experienced. You tweet out a quick apology to the roaches (God, that fucking name) and say that you had a breakdown but you’re okay. That is as a close to the truth as you managed to muster. It’s a sad sight, chewing and crying; your mom winced when she saw your state - disheveled hair and rundown eyeliner and everything. “D’aww,” She had muttered, caressing the top of your head, “don’t cry my little raccoon.”

If anyone was ever to ask you where did your chaotic nature come from, you’d answer with my mom. To make yourself feel better, you took a selfie - duck face and peace sign and the horrible 2000′s angle. Sent it to Rae. 

looking hot, her message read. 

thanks, was all you replied with.

You couldn’t just leave things as they were. Once you calmed down, you wanted to text Corpse, but how would you follow up the ungodly caps lock and screeching? Impossible. An idea sprung to mind, one that was brave. Taking the first step.

Instead of sending a text, you sent a voice memo.

“Thank you for the pizza, it was delicious.”

You voice still sounded a bit raspy. His reply was instant. Your heart skipped a beat. He sent a voice memo back.

“Glad you liked it, baby.”

He was going to be the death of you.

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tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙