#hold onto the blorbos for dear life

[fablewritesnonsense]

If anyone isn't ready to let go of my Nuclear Family folks, I started the second part of their story today. More Shennanigans abound.

[cherry-shipping]

watching star trek with sans soooofun^________^

[bolithesenate]

Blorbo timetravel and/or Dooku takes over the agricorps 👀

hehehehe

yeah, blorbo timetravel is exactly what it says on the can

all the blorbos randomly wake up in their padawan bodies (theres some attempted murder on Jo's side and some snarkyness on Sy's -- as well as genral mopyness from dooku)

“On a scale of one to ten,” Jocasta was visibly struggling to hold the – much too big and heavy for her current form – saber aloft, “How murderous towards Jedi are you feeling right now?” Yan blinked. “Uh,” he squeaked out, “Three?” “Wrong answer!” She lifted the saber even higher, ready to strike him down. “What even is the right answer?!,” the Jedi-turned-Sith-turned-Initiate wailed as he stumbled back out of range of her rather uncoordinated slashes. “Not karking three!” Her young voice was full of age-inappropriate vitriol as she immediately took chase, slashing up several mattresses and a goodly portion of the wooden tiles on the floor in the process. Yan was busy evading her, though not busy enough to shut the kark up. “What do you want from me, woman?! Should I have said more? Is that what you want?!?”

Jocasta let out an incoherent scream of outrage. “Actually,” Sifo from his bean bag in the farthest corner from their little two-man guerilla war said, “I think the correct amount she was looking for would be zero. If you truly were wondering.” “That’s not even on the scale!,” the immediate protest came – because of course it did. Far be it from Yan to just accept something. Sifo sighed.

they then decide that the only valid way to deal with all those feelings is to take over serenno (for plot reasons, you know how it is) and because they need more people they also kidnap Arath and Lorian with them

it then becomes a wonderful story about how the ideal count of serenno is five jedi padawans in a coat.

and also about how Arath's innate head-exploding powers (that are legends canon) (at least to me) can and will save the galaxy

and dooku takes over the agricorps is...

well, also what it says on the tin. i really like to give straight-forward wip titles. most of the time.

the thing that gets dooku to leave the order is not a message about how bad serenno is doing, but a message on how bad the agricorps is doing

and that simply cannot be permitted to continue

cue him using his resting bitch face powers and also all the embezzled tax money he's stealing from Ramil for good :3

featuring, how else could it be, a dear OC of mine: Sisviker Ninedi, the most harrowed spokesperoson of the agricorps

Dooku observed Corpsmember Ninedi with rapt attention.

So far he had realized three major things about the young theelin.

One, they were absolutely overworked and were lucky to be able to rely on the Force to supplement where sleep and nerves lacked - otherwise they would probably be nothing more than a wandling stress-ulcer. Her for her species unusually dull skin and pale hair hinted on a chronic lack of sleep and essential nutrients. That wouldn't do. Definitely something he'd have to monitor. Two, they were, even with all the stones life tossed onto her path, an incredibly efficient worker. From what he'd seen from her previous track record, Ninedi had always managed, through a very balanced combination between licking the right boots and firmly defending her point when needed, to ensure that the AgriCorps at least didn't suffer any losses with the deals she cut. With the right guidance and a proper sleep schedule Dooku was sure they'd make a formidable spokesperson for the Corps. And three, that she and Rael were never, under any circumstances, to be allowed to meet, lest they wanted to seal the destruction of the Republic in a giant glittery trash fire.

[findmeinthefallair]

The scenes towards the end of the finale were like an intersection of multiple characters experiencing the loss of father figures, in different shades:

Luz's relationship to her late father took on a different form, after King's own father passed on and his glyph magic was gone for good. Manny gifting her the Azura books before his death, and Papa Titan offering her glyph magic before he too passed on, helped Luz find her place in the world and defeat Belos.

Apparently this scene is what made Sarah Nicole-Robles bawl in the recording studio, right after she recorded the lines.

When these changes happen - when we experience the loss of a person, when our ties with them are wrangled into a new form, against our will - it can be devastatingly painful. Change and transformation make for fancy, dramatic scenes in fiction, and they always incur loss in some form, painful or not. It also made me so emotional when seeing how much 18-year-old Luz resembles Manny, and how her enrolment in the university is linked to both her biological father and Papa Titan.

King's experience of seeing the majesty of his father, however brief, left him in awe and exhilaration. He can rest in the beautiful knowledge that Papa Titan was watching over him the whole time too. The message that his dad left him, relayed by Luz, is something he'll hold dear forever.

Hunter will never be truly harmed by Belos ever again. But he can't discard the memories of Belos granting him attachment: even if the attachment ended up not being real in a sense. However, like what can be applied in real-life therapy, he can get guidance on how to rescript those memories.

Belos's lies about having good intentions don't change how it felt real to Hunter all those years ago. Hunter was a young child when receiving this 'love', and in a twisted way...the mission given to him by Belos kept him alive up till he could escape the Coven, because the mission gave his life meaning despite the circumstances being awfully terrible. A child cannot survive without attachment, and needs attachment even if the experience of attachment has been horrendous and scarring. And holy Titan don't get me started on how at age 16 (before the timeskip), he had yet to learn more grisly details about his predecessors - whom he might view as older brothers and fathers whom he never met - and the generational trauma in his Golden Guard family tree:

which would have definitely been explored before he could experience that amazing hard-won serenity and peace at age 20.

Even Philip's arc is inextricably tied to his manner of coping with how he murdered Caleb, who was the closest thing he had to a father, given how these two brothers were orphans. In the end, Philip meets his end while Luz gazes upon him the same way Caleb's ghost did. Philip won't be haunted by Caleb's ghost again, and he joins the person who was essentially his father figure in death. Till the very end, he was projecting onto another person because he didn't want to recognize the same traits in himself. He was the one responsible for his father figure's death.

But grief doesn't mean the relationships in question have ended altogether. It's kind of like what this post about the finale (link) says, and it even extends to the relationship between us fans and the show itself.

The cliché "5 Stages of Grief" is the most commonly mentioned grief model, but I follow the development and advocacy of a newer perspective on grief that challenges it. In fact, the 5 Stages was originally just intended for terminally ill patients, but it was taken out of proportion. I began a serious investigation into the newer models after I went through something that parallels Hunter losing Flapjack...eerily, it happened to me two weeks before TTT's release date. No wonder I feel so close to Hunter as a blorbo, I guess.

Unlike what the 5 Stages of Grief says, grief and linear time don't mix well. Without "stages" to follow, there isn't an expectation of some deadline or permanent end of a tunnel in the newer models. Such pressure wouldn't be honoring the sacredness of connections between us. Instead, less famous grief perspectives like the dual-process model and continuing bonds model, are a better fit to honor relationships that mattered, since they aren't given an expiry date.

I wonder how Luz would be feeling on the day she graduates from the Wild Magic University, and how King feels each time he unlocks his own new glyphs since he is the new Titan to supply the Isles with magic. And I wonder how Hunter felt when his coven sigil was replaced with the Flapjack tattoo, and how he feels when he sees the Gravesfield town seal and Wittebane statues.

There are ways in which they can get creative to integrate their grief (notice I didn't say "get rid of", "remove", "erase" or even "manage"...the pain is what is to be managed, not the grief itself) the best they can. In canon, we have examples such as the Hexsquad agreeing to get their Flapjack tattoos together. Luz letting go of the light glyph sheet here:

is also a fantastic representation of rituals like sending off a message in a bottle at a beach, tying a message to a balloon and letting it fly away (this happened in Reaching Out, didn't it?), or burning a message in a campfire to let it float up towards the sky in the form of embers.

It is a common recommendation to have exercises like letter-writing where the griever writes to the lost loved one. What many may not know is you can also do the reverse: you writing as your lost loved one, to yourself. Because the griever takes a piece of the lost loved one with them, that the griever has shaped within themselves. This is especially good if you need to extend forgiveness to yourself. An example from a book called Bearing the Unbearable:

The author felt responsible for the stillbirth of her child, but had a "happy accident" where she intuitively asked for forgiveness and then received it, by invoking the love that her child would have shown to her in a world where said child had remained alive.

I think Hunter in particular could benefit from something like this, writing to himself as the uncle whom he saw as genuine and nurturing, and gaining ownership of that part of him even though Belos was a liar and is now gone for good. It can help him move forward especially since he won't be spared from nightmares in which his loss is re-enacted. With this kind of rescripting, historical accuracy doesn't actually need to matter. After all, our own minds lie to us at times and mess with historical accuracy anyway, like Luz's thoughts telling her she was as bad as Belos, and how true that felt.

A physical loved one is lost to death, and it can feel just as painful - only in a different way - if people become estranged or separated without a literal death having occurred. But the connection to them isn't lost, it is only adapted. The bond continues. For better or worse.

I believe the pain in grieving is connected to each moment when we remember all over again that the one we loved isn't coming back.

It's like the needle of a gramophone getting stuck in the loop of an unpleasant-sounding record scratch noise. It's a bit like what C.S. Lewis says in his book A Grief Observed: "In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out." I can't find the other part but he later said something like, therefore if a friendship is lost, the part of you that only that friend could bring out, is also lost. Something in you is locked away forever, though new things can also be unlocked after the loss.

It wasn't shown onscreen but I wouldn't be surprised if it's regular for Luz to come across a meme and be freshly reminded of her dad's absence, because she can't show him that meme. King would be wishing that a new funny cat video he discovers is something his dad could also laugh at along with him. Hunter would be hoping that Flapjack, the previous Golden Guards and Caleb are watching as he brings back palismen.

Bereavement, and any grief that is significant enough to alter our personhood forever, are the forms of love that can never really grasp how time flows in a linear way. They can't be reasoned with, only experienced.

"...the howling at the center of grief is raw and real. It is love in its most wild form" - Megan Devine.

[soliloquy-dawn]

Ao3 Fic Meme

This is so sweet, thank you @joeyalohadream and @alienoresimagines for the tag.

Rules: go to your AO3 account and find the following:

1. What ratings do you write most of your fics under?

Explicit (25)

Teen And Up Audiences (1)

Mature (1)

2. What are your top three fandoms?

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling (22)

Masters of the Air (TV 2024) (4)

Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan (1)

3. What is the top character you write about?

James Potter (22)

Regulus Black (22)

Barty Crouch Jr. (16)

4. What are your top three pairings?

Regulus Black/James Potter (22)

Regulus Black/Barty Crouch Jr. (12)

Gale "Buck" Cleven/John Clarence "Bucky" Egan (4)

5. What are the top three additional tags

Comeplay (14)

Dirty Talk (12)

Anal Sex (11)

6. Does any of this surprise you?

Haha! Not at all.

I got into writing very recently (beginning of 2023), after wanting to for years and years, but not having the balls to do so. A fear of failure, of not being good enough, perhaps? Surely not.

I’m very glad I finally bit the bullet, and now I just wish I’d started earlier. But hey, nothing can be done about that now—I can only focus on improving my craft, and have fun torturing my blorbos along the way. If it’s for my literary betterment, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind.

My first fandom (that I wrote for) was the Marauders, until MotA strutted into my life and said, "Hey, forget all that, it's time to uproot your life and start on a new path to enlightenment."

I had the best time in the Marauders fandom, and made the most wonderful friends, who are now IRL friends (you know who you are, heh). But MotA has my heart now, and it’s likely it’ll hold onto it for dear life.

And I knew Come play would be my top tag before checking. I just knew it. A staple of my writing, truly. If come is not being played with, I am dead.

Tagging @angelfruittree @whirlpool-blogs @johnslittlespoon @defnotanarc and @meyerlansky if you wanna join!

[thelivingautomaton]

so lately i've been curing my brainrot by listening to audiobooks while i crochet, the result being that i have gotten really, really into the wheel of time (which i've previously bounced off of like, 3 separate times) and also been tweeting about it. anyway i have finished the first book and simply must scream into the void about it

jesus, okay, where do i even begin. let's talk about characters

so i KNEW that mat was gonna be The Character Of All Time going right in, i am self-aware enough about what kinds of blorbos i enjoy (read: cocky roguish guy who is actually a sopping wet cat of a man and uses snark to obscure deep-seated angst and/or doubt in himself, his identity, and his goodness). and i do have an affection for mat at this point

although ngl it kind of totally went over my head when i last tried to read these books that he is also? kind of a dick this early on? though to be fair he was having his soul eaten by an evil dagger for like, two-thirds of the book

that being said. what i did NOT expect was for the dark horse surprise contenders for Character Of All Time to be nynaeve and rand

nynaeve is literally the funniest, pettiest bitch ever and i love her SO MUCH. literally what if you were a preternaturally gifted healer and given a position of authority at a very young age so you had a complex about it, but that complex manifests itself as a bullheaded stubborn drive to Take Care Of Your People, and you are ready to throw hands with every magic lady Jedi on the way because you are fueled by Pure Unadulterated Spite at all times

every time she'd try to start a catty slap fight with moiraine and moiraine would just, like, sip her tea unbothered? now THAT'S comedy

sidenote, dear lord do these characters drink a lot of tea. do they have coffee in this nebula. do they have new world crops. i feel like someone must have mentioned potatoes. where was i

oh my god, rand. RAND. literally WHAT IF you were a farmboy from the ass-end of nowhere and you get pulled into this fantastical adventure like a hero from legend, but you spend 700 pages having all of your assumptions about the world and yourself systemically questioned and tested and broken down. and the whole time you're holding onto the hope of going home and going back to the way things were, until you experience the crushing weight of the Hero's Journey and the fact that you can never really go home (read: go back to the simple life and the way things used to be) ever again

EXCEPT!!! THAT THERE IS ALSO WONDER AND EXCITEMENT AND CURIOSITY TOO!!! like, obviously i loved all the times that rand and the other farm kids are agog seeing different parts of the world (especially the cities -- dude, i LOVE the setup for caemlyn) but literally one of my favorite scenes was when rand is on the spray sitting at the top of the mast and he just starts laughing aloud for the freedom and joy of it all. the journey will be long and terrible and arduous but it's so important to show that there are bright moments on the way too. i'm going to puke

also there's a few moments between rand and the dark one (ba'alzamon? bro idk how anything is spelled) that were so *chef's kiss*, like rand telling him "i belong to myself" or in their big fight when he screams that he'll never be a hound for the dark one. more generally i love the emphasis placed on the importance and power of people taking a stand, even if they know it's futile. ESPECIALLY if they know it's futile. (there was this line from moiraine like "the wheel weaves as the wheel wills, but i refuse to believe it weaves an end to all hope". waugh)

also i know the reveal that rand can channel was telegraphed from a mile away but i ain't even mad about it because i feel like the setup was done so nicely. you get a scene of moiraine explaining to nynaeve about how channeling feels the first time you do it (i.e. you have the greatest need you've ever known, then a week later your body has a delayed reaction that feels like a weird flu), you get rand and mat escaping whitebridge via improbable lightning strikes, then you get rand coming down with a weird flu. like, idk, i like it when creators set up dominoes and i as a reader can SEE the dominoes getting set up and i get to go like, hoohoohoo, can't wait for those to get knocked down!

unsurprisingly since rand and nynaeve are my two favs i also am enamored with their dynamic. maybe it's because you're in rand's head the most in this book, and so it's the closest you as a reader are to seeing a straightforward platonic relationship between a male and female character? but okay like, listen. nynaeve is the FIRST PERSON (maybe the only person rn??) rand shares his fears with re: tam not being his dad and him not knowing who he is. and nynaeve immediately reassures him that it doesn't matter, she saw tam and kari with him and she KNOWS they loved him like any father and mother

or like, the scene when rand overhears lan and nynaeve having their whole Dramatic Star-Crossed Romance (which is like, cool, but also, can't wait for lan to get over his TTRPG Tragic Backstory [affectionate] and kiss her already), and the chapter ends with a line like "Rand closed his eyes. He did not think the Wisdom would like it if he saw her cry." good GOD!

how old are these kids supposed to be anyway. like i know nynaeve is older by a few years and she's...24? so are the rest 18-20ish? oh my god you guys, they're KIDS

i'm sure i will have more thoughts about the other characters as these books progress and shit continues to pop off and Get Funky (especially relevant vis a vis perrin going full wolf mode and egwene learning how to be an aes sedai). also i love how often it's repeated that people from the two rivers are The Most Stubborn People Alive, and how rand holds onto that as part of his identity (re: envisioning hardy two rivers soil)

now let us talk about the world because OH MY GOD

one of the things that definitely stuck with me was the secret hidden lore re: "this is actually post-post-post apocalyptic earth", cf. thom telling stories about "lenn flying to the skies in an eagle made of fire" and "salya walking among the stars", because it is so fucking insane as a concept and jordan does it REALLY WELL, in the sense that any references to "our" earth are so oblique and indirect that they're barely comprehensible, which is as it should be if these books take place a whole two ages later

but it's also such a perfect excuse/reason to deliberately echo and make homage to myths and stories that we as readers are familiar with, the most obvious being the legend of artur hawkwing (and also half of our main cast having arthurian-esque names). something something george lucas saying that it's like poetry, it rhymes

the part that really dropped me flat on my ass though was when perrin and egwene and elyas are leaving the tinkers and elyas LITERALLY recites anglican catechism at them ("as it once was, so shall it ever be, world without end"), reader i screamed

that being said. i do kind of wish there was more Weird Religion Bullshit. i mean it makes sense that the cosmology and people's theological beliefs are pretty universal (given that it's a Canonical Big Deal Historical Event that the embodiment of evil punched a hole in reality and made magic evil and fucked up for men forever), but like. where is the variety! where is the spice! where are the religious freaks! give me religious freaks!!!

however this is ameliorated by the fantastic variety in cultures/societies/stories, and also the overarching theme of "the world has moved on from what it once was". like, everything with loial (also strong contender for Supporting Character Of All Time) talking about the groves and how different the world is from what he'd read about in the stedding! the entire scene with the green man (which still makes me feel completely fucking insane, just btw)! perrin and egwene at the ruined statue of artur hawkwing! moiraine telling the people of emond's field about manetheren! WHEWWWWWWWWWW

like, it really does give you this sense of history and loss. but also i hope that as the books go on it gets more into, like, "okay, the world has moved on and nothing will ever be as it once was. so what are we going to do with the world we have? how are we going to keep it safe and let it grow?"

sidenote: the tragedy of listening to the audiobooks is that i can't flip back to look at the map or the glossary if i start getting a little lost 😭 help i just want to get everything Right in my head

i also feel like jordan does a fantastic job of like...getting the reader further and further into the more fantastical or impactful elements of the world step by careful step and pacing out how he escalates the characters' importance to the world. does this make any sense.

like, baerlon -> whitebridge -> caemlyn is a steady stepwise escalation in Experiencing A City. and the one-two-three combo of loial explaining ta'veren to rand + rand overhearing a farmer gossip about queen morgase and her family + the repeated references to seeing the false dragon in caemlyn all leads perfectly into rand falling into the garden and the entire chapter with elayne and gawyn and morgase. (side note: this chapter was fucking incredible, good god i am obsessed with royal political bullshit.) OR having all these moments of the characters with moiraine to establish her nature, then providing an immediate contrast with the introduction of elaida as the "other" aes sedai. DOES THIS MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL. it's dominoes, baby

okay i have a few other miscellaneous thoughts

i fucking love how unapologetically trope-y these books are. it is so crunchy. not just vis a vis the hero's journey, but also, like, all the repeated motifs? spooky symbolic dream sequences? excerpts from in-universe writings and poetry? Foreshadowing Via Fortune-Telling? chef's kiss

also, dude, i love that robert jordan really dropped all of the fucking symbols for the next who knows how many books into three paragraphs via min. he knew the girlies would go crazy for this. AND HE WAS RIGHT

same goes for the whole concept of ta'veren, like i know on the surface it's kind of a goofy concept that you are Assigned Main Character At Birth by the wheel/the pattern, but also like. this man knew people on tumblr would be obsessing over characters doomed/haunted by narratives 30 years after these books were published. his third eye was OPEN

in a bizarre way so much of the story elements and pacing feels like a d&d campaign. mat is the rogue who picks up stuff he really shouldn't. perrin is a barbarian that accidentally took a level in druid. lan is the dm's npc blorbo with the intricately detailed tragic backstory that gets dumped on the players all at once (this is affectionate i swear). do you see what i'm saying

hi i love these books a lot already and i can't wait for them to get even more insane. thanks 4 ur time

[gmanwhore]

I. Wrote a thing. @otherworldlyoddities45 it's the blorbos.

Gimothy felt exhausted. The past…however long it had been had gone by in a blur. He highly doubted that he'd ever be able to unsee Zircon getting kidnapped right off the stage, right in the middle of why xe loved most. And knowing xe had been trapped in a tube was just awful. Raven knew what it was like to be trapped, but he didn't, not really. He just knew he never wanted that. What made it worse was that even with all that horrible stuff, there was that little voice in the back of his head to add to to it. Some of those people never stood back up. He was a murderer now. Yes, he was saving someone so incredibly important to him and so many other people but there were no people who had died because he went on a rampage. How did the night go so wrong? 

His head felt light, just like he had felt during the concert. Was he panicking again? He couldn't feel much, just bad. He felt so bad and bad and bad and bad…he could feel himself crying but he didn't quite know how he could possibly feel it through the numbness. He leaned against the wall, sliding down so he was sitting with his knees up in front of him. Sobs racked his body as he tried to get all the bad out of his system.

The tapping of Raven's cane was surprisingly loud. It usually was quieter, but she had used so much energy and was probably just as tired as he was. She sat next to him, and without a word he threw his arms around his dear friend. She held him close with shaky hands. Soon she was crying too. It made sense, she had just been back to a place she never wanted to see again, seen people she was deep down terrified of. He didn't begrudge her tears. They just cried together on the floor of Gimothy's spaceship, the one home they both would always have that would never feel like a cage.

They couldn't cry forever, of course. Eventually they fell silent, still holding onto each other. Gim finally spoke, his voice cracking.

"...Zircon taught me how to play guitar."

Raven smiled slightly down at him, her glittering black eyes inviting him to continue. He wiped his eyes and nose with his sleeve and did so.

"I can't even remember how old I was. I just saw xir playing and wanted to learn so I asked. The first time I picked up my guitar the C string broke and xe said 'C string down!' and I got confused and said 'No, the floor is down!'. We still talk about it. It's just…I have no one else close like that, not even my parents. Xe has always been there, you know? Zircon's the only person who could ever know what I really am, xe is the only blood relative I have that knows me and talks to me. I almost lost xir and I…I…"

He broke down into tears again. Raven just stroked his back.

"I doubt anyone would ever let anything happen to Zircon. Xe seem to be in wonderful hands. This was a fluke. I am certain it won't happen again, and even if it does xe is protected."

"What is xe isn't? What if I lose xir forever? I'll never have someone like that in my life again!"

Raven took a handkerchief from her pocket and wiped Gim's face off, doing her best to smile.

"You won't. Not for a very long time."

Gim sighed shakily, rubbing by his ears. A loud ringing had started in them. It faded quickly, like it always did.

"I hope you're right."

"I hope so too."

They were both silent for a few moments.

"Raven?"

"Yes?"

"Do I have to worry about losing you too? I know…I know that I age slower then you do, and your whole…problem…"

Raven gave him a severe look, not angry and not disappointed but still pointed.

"Gimothy Timbles. You were just sobbing over possibly losing someone you care deeply for. Do you think you are even close to emotionally prepared for the answer you will be given?"

"No…"

She sighed and shook her head, rubbing his shoulder.

"Let's drop this subject for now. There are better ones to pursue, such as whether or not you feel up to eating beans and possibly frankenfurters."

Gim looked up at his friend and smiled.

"Only if you are up for rose tea and tiny cucumber sandwiches."

Raven couldn't help but laugh as Gim helped her to her feet.

"I will handle the boiling, you the slicing?"

"Sure thing, ma'am."

Gim made sure Raven was supported against him as they walked towards the kitchen. Her steps were heavy, and her breathing was still ragged.

"Do you think you are up to it? I can cook if you want…I don't mind."

"No, no, let me. It's a mostly stationary job, yours will be far more strenuous."

"Cutting bread is the least strenuous thing like…ever."

"Boiling water isn't?"

"You got me there."

The two began their tasks, each working quietly. Raven asked Gim to bring in a chair and he did with no comment. She was tall enough to keep an eye on everything sitting down. Soon they were both settling down to a nice, if rather clashing meal. Gim did find that cucumber sandwiches did improve greatly when they were dipped in baked bean sauce, and Raven did have to admit a little more meat in her diet (even though light foods were much more becoming for a lady) was a good thing. 

They washed the dishes together, and got ready for bed side by side as always. 

"Raven, are you sure you're ok? You did a lot of fighting back there, and you did say turning into a flock of Raven's in particular takes a lot out of you…"

Raven did look tired, her elegant nightgown looking more like a curtain hanging around a skeleton then it's usually birdlike elegance. The little of the flesh part of her face that remained was sallow and corpse-like. Her eyes looked dull and glassy, and the shake in her taloned, scaly hands was only getting worse.

"Gim, we are going to bed. I will be fine."

Her voice carried an edge of annoyance, so Gim dropped the topic as they finished getting ready for bed. They both laid down next to each other, instantly finding their favorite position to sleep in: facing each other, embraced, Raven's head rested on top of Gim so her mask didn't poke him. Neither had nightmares when they slept like this. It was almost like they were each other's charms against the horrors of life.

Gim woke up first. It was already late in the day; his clock said 10:00 am and since they were on Earth that meant the morning was almost over. He looked up at Raven, and saw she was still dead asleep. He did panic for a second because she was breathing so shallowly and he couldn't find a pulse, but her chest rose and fell so he calmed down. He only cried a little so that was good. Once he had determined that she was ok, he pulled on his housecoat and slippers then left the room, closing the door so nothing would disturb his friend's sleep.

He went down to the kitchen to make breakfast, deciding first to call Corey to say that he and Raven would be by later to check on Zircon and say hi and maybe hang out a bit now that the situation was over. He was glad she didn't pick up, he wasn't quite in the mood for talking but he did want to know her and Sylvan a bit better. He might even talk to Gerard and be able to know him, too. It's not that he didn't know them, but he had only met them briefly before…oh, he couldn't think about it.

After he left a message we went about making what he referred to as "cowboy tacos". He's picked it up sometime on his first visit to Earth, cooked bacon that was then cooked into a pancake. Comfort food at its finest. He made himself some coffee and steeped some tea for Raven. It was weird, she still wasn't up yet. He usually woke her up by getting out of bed. He made sure everything was set up before he went back to the bedroom. She was still asleep, curled up on her side. She looked less serene and more upset now. 

"Ray-Ray?"

He crept closer. Should he wake her up? She still looked as bad as she did yesterday…He opted for gently holding her hand. She shivered at the touch just slightly but stayed asleep. Gim watched her, his expression worried but happy since at least she was alive. She was just worn out after everything, he had to remind himself. He didn't want to start breakfast without her though. 

He decided to get dressed in his favorite clothes: loose brown t-shirt, brown slacks, and a tie-dye bandanna around his neck. He snuck back out of the room and headed for the entrance, putting on his big brown cowboy boots, long leather coat, and of course his cowboy hat. He looked at himself in the mirror and nodded, pleased with how he looked. He still had storm cloud coloured circles under his eyes, and he looked as worn out as Raven did but he still looked pretty ok. Cowboys always looked a bit rough, right? He debated bringing his shotgun for protection, but he couldn't bring himself to touch it. He'd done enough.

It was just starting to warm up. It was Spring, the part that comes just after winter but just before the trees bud. Since Gregory (his ship) was in a forest, most of the snow hadn't melted, but it wasn't all that cold. The sun lit him up and made him feel warm, and the snow was just slush under his boots. He thanked Raven silently for waterproofing them. He had suffered through enough cold and wet feet before it since he refused to wear anything but his boots. They fit his perfectly. He also would never admit it, but he had to keep his cowboy aesthetic up.

The whole space cowboy thing had started when he was very young. He wanted to know everything about Earth he could, and a couple of the books his parents could get their hands on was about the Wild West. One of them was a children's book about a brother and sister who traveled through time, and the other was an adventure story about outlaws. He had fallen in love with cowboys then. They were strong but sensitive, they looked so cool, they were so brave…they were adventurers just like him, always looking beyond the horizon for new pastures. Apparently there were no K'merii cowboys, but he didn't believe that. It would be perfect…someone from his planet, riding through the open prairie, lamenting the people they've left but knowing they'll haunt them forever…it was poetic!

The love had remained as he grew up. No one had dissuaded him, but it wasn't something people brought up much. He did, though. Any chance he got he would tell everyone all he knew about these wonderful people, these legends that trotted across his mind. They didn't quite fit in either. Why else would they keep searching for something? Maybe they just needed other cowboys. This just led to him imagining a cowboy herd, which even as an adult made him laugh. Still, when he left for his own greener pastures, he clung to cowboys. He bought himself the perfect outfit. He even made the coat himself, and dyed all the fabric for his clothes to fit the dusty browns his heroes wore. His spaceship was his horse, the universe his prairie. All he needed was the adventures.

He had them. He traveled everywhere he could. His first destination was Earth, though, to the Wild West. There wasn't a lot of the Wild West left, but he did see big horned cattle in one place and saw an actual rodeo in another! He was disappointed that his heroes were long gone, but look! People still loved them! They still loved the idea of being a wanderer who deals justice to those wronged everywhere they go. They still loved the outfits, and the wonder of the wild blue yonder. It warmed his heart. He even found copies of his favorite childhood books. They still sat in a place of honour in Gregory so he can read them whenever he wished. He really needed to read them to Raven one day.

Speaking of Raven, he wondered if she felt the same way about the Victorian Age as he did about cowboys. She always referenced being a "proper lady" and being elegant and lovely, not matter what. Was that her version of the dashing hero? A lady in full control of herself? He liked that. He liked that they both liked something in that way. He'd have to bring that up with her. 

He returned to Gregory, and took off his boots and coat. He left his hat on, he didn't want to end today's adventure and taking off the hat would signify that. He just strolled into the kitchen, feeling so much better after reminiscing and getting some fresh air. Raven was up now, sitting at the table with a book in her hands. She set it aside as soon as he came in.

"Ah, Gimothy. Wonderful to see you, how are you?"

"I am great! How are you feeling? You look a bit better."

Raven looked at herself, and sighed.

"Spread a bit thin, I'm afraid. I'm sorry for worrying you last night, I just was trying to keep you calm. I see now it didn't work."

Gim shook his head and set about warming up breakfast again. 

"Nah, I get it. You didn't want to seem less of a lady, right? I don't blame you."

Raven smiled kindly. Gim returned it as he brought over their breakfast.

"I'm just glad you feel better."

"Thank you, and thank you for letting me sleep. I really needed the rest."

"Of course! If you need a rest, let me know! Oh! I called Corey, I said we were going to go over later today to make sure Zircon is alright and maybe chat a bit."

"Sounds lovely."

They both ate their breakfast. 

"Is this…a bacon inside a pancake? Is it properly cooked?"

"Of course it is! You cook the bacon first, then cook the pancake around it!"

Raven looked just slightly repulsed, but only for a second. She didn't want to offend her dear friend.

"How…quaint."

Gim laughed, waving around a bit of pancake soaked in syrup around on his fork.

"Everytime you call something quaint it makes me want to do it more!"

"Oh joy. I so flattered you enjoy this so much."

"You made me eat snails once. And frog legs. And goose liver! Plus none of that's Victorian! It's French, I checked!"

Raven rolled her eyes and flicked back her hair. 

"You enjoyed all of them, so said so yourself."

"Before I knew what they were!"

Raven huffed and went back to eating. Even her bites were elegant. Again, once they were done they washed the dishes together then brushed their teeth. It was already noon, but neither seemed to mind much. Raven excused herself to get dressed, then returned in-gasp!-bloomers and a blouse!

"Gim, would you be a dear and help me tie my corset?"

"Oh, alright."

He joking rolled his eyes and he walked over to tighten her corset.

"Tighter, please."

Gim put on his best Raven impression.

"Do you think that would be prudent in your current situation?"

"Oh, hush. Don't give me that look! Fine, fine, just tie it so it doesn't open, please."

He did just as he was asked, then stepped back to let her move around.

"Perfect, and thank you for your wisdom Mr. Gimbles. Now, when are we going to go?"

"Two? I dunno, I still haven't gotten a call back to see if it's even ok…"

"How about you call again, and I'll get my makeup done."

"What if I want you to do mine too?"

Raven raied her eyebrows, knowing this behavior all too well.

"It can wait until the phone call is done."

Gim sighed. He really wasn't looking forward to talking to someone who wasn't Raven. He was terrified that he would burst into tears over the phone and that was a very big no. He only cried with Raven, period. He could stall for a few minutes, and anyways there was something he was really curious about.

"Ray-Ray?"

"Yes, Gim?"

"Why do you like Victorian fashion and stuff so much?"

Raven sat on a stool and thought for a second. 

"I liked how powerful the women were. Yes, they were still subjugated but they felt the strength to be heads of households and commanders of their own spaces. They were also so elegant, so flawless…I dreamed of a world where I could be like them. They were my guides when I was a child and only had stories of them. I remember…an older test subject told me about them through the bars of my cage. She said her mother had been like that. She knew what it was like. Every story left me in awe. These people were so intelligent, so well-mannered and genteel…I wanted to be that. So, I would pretend. It became a lifeline. They could tear me down and leave me ragged, but I was an elegant and proper lady and elegant and proper ladies never let people walk all over them. Is that a good explanation?"

Gim smiled, and nodded.

"Those ladies are your cowboys."

Raven smiled back, knowing what he meant.

"Yes, I suppose they are. Isn't that wonderful?"

"Yeah. It is."

Gim gave Raven a hug before he turned away to go make the phone call.

[chaoticgremlinbrainspace]

wow man has his and projects onto characters bc he is gripping them like wall climbing foot hold for dear life? more likely than you think!!!

tee hee I think aromatic dick Grayson would be silly goofy, I also like trans Dick Grayson. is it bc im throwing my shit at him, then putting him into situations? perhaps. I just think it would be neat if his gender was like more fluid in a fun mostly undefined way like thats just how he be way. doing gender back flips if you will. if you won't gender front flops are cool too. I guess I tend to project my lack of romantic interest combined with my need to have people at least near me onto him too lol. like ive never really been interested in a traditional intimate relationship like that. like I think queer platonic relationships are cool as all hell. anyway, uh this is my gay agenda, funky gender Dick Grayson who is aro and Yass slays. thanks for coming to my ted talk I have had 4 hours of sleep and I haven't eaten so if this sounds slightly deranged thats why. also im not normal about my blorbos. dick is my fucking weird lil guy and his family by extension are too. I can't help it when I hyp[erfixate on one character from a series. its also probably a little but the he just like me fr. oldest child and all that. AND I CAN GIVE HIM MY MENTAL Illness HOLY SHIT. this dude hehehehehehehhe. im gonna fuck him up with so many problems. anyway this should have ended a bit a go.

[naritaren]

Had such a rough day today so I could use some asks to distract me. I didn't get much sleep last night because I was panicking about my thesis. I've been struggling to find a proper starting point besides just gathering articles that may or may not apply. My partner kindly, at 2am, walked me through what I should do and encouraged me to spend a little on some notebooks and school/office supplies to get me going. I then rushed out the door this morning without eating so I had to suck it up and pick food up on my way. I was only supposed to be at the office from 10-12 so I figured I'd eat lunch when I got home. Ended up having to stay for an extra three hours at the office for training so I didn't get home until like 4pm. I forgot to grab a box of files that I was supposed to take with me so I gotta grab those on Friday. Got home and promptly slipped on the ice as I stepped out of my car. I landed hard on my left hand and knee and hyperextended my right arm because I held onto the door for dear life. Upside? Didn't hit my head! But I'm sore as shit and then I had to work on my thesis. I did get progress on it, but now I want to empty my head of rational thought, enjoy my dinner, and just look at blorbo related content. I'll do a separate post on my thesis stuff because I feel like it holds me accountable like the crafting posts do. But good lord today sucked.

[heffrondriving]

kendall is Best Boy actually,

[aftonfamilyvalues]

a family can be you, a pillow youre holding onto for dear life, your vibrator on maximum power, and the blorbo you imagine eating your pussy out so good.

[the-void-writes]

Hi! Happy Blorbo Blursday!

What's your OC's greatest desire? How far would they go to achieve it?

--Joy (@italiangothicwriteblr)

Hey, thank you! 😁

For real, Will’s true desire is to be loved. With his father, his classmates, and honestly the whole town, the only thing he sees himself as is a mistake. If one person openly cares for him, makes him believe that he’s worth a place on Earth, he holds onto that for dear life.

To the point where if anything threatened those people, nothing would stop Will from fighting for them. He may not be used to his powers, but he can’t afford to lose his first real family.