#hog roast machine

[pico-digital-studios]

Into, Across and Beyond! Scripting: OMH Final Battle

PREVIOUS POST

During One More Hero's climax, the yet-to-be-named Blur Gang (sans OMT!Tails) were sneaking towards the Death Egg site together, each of them looking down at a new docking station not there previously.

EX!Alice: Okay. Nega's got a private elevator entrance from the laboratories to the interdimensional energiser below.

Mini Sonic: Didn't count on having an audience, huh?

They headed down to...

Death Egg Zone - Entrance Salon

Some guests walked past massive banners depicting Sonic: "THE SONIC MEMORIAL FUND".

All except Mr. Needlemouse: You've GOT to be kidding me...

Eggman Nega stepped out, waving to the crowd as the heroes watched from above.

Eggman Nega: Thank you, everyone, thank you! It's lovely to be here this evening to celebrate the legacy of our beloved hero, Sonic. He sure inspired many in his life. Kids love the Blue Blur, don't they? Still do, heh.

OMT!Mina (disgusted): Hmph. What a hog he is.

Mr. Needlemouse: I'm right here!

Mini Sonic: Hang on. Look at how the waiters are dressed. It's in poor taste, but...

He saw some waiters in Sonic outfits, or variants thereof.

Mini Sonic: ...it can't be that easy.

Cut to a moment later with them in fancy disguises and carrying a trolley through the fundraiser area.

Mini Sonic: Yeah, it's that easy.

Eggman Nega: I'm just sorry my grandfather can't see this event tonight.

They carefully weaved through the crowd, soon coming across Johnny as one of the bodyguards.

Johnny: Can I help you?

CR!Sonic raised his fists, though OMT!Mina lowered him down.

OMT!Mina: Yeah, sorry about that. It's our first day on the job and we were just looking for the kitchen.

Mini Sonic: Yeah. We just wanna make a good first impression for the gala tonight.

CR!Sonic raised his fists again, though OMT!Mina yet again lowered them without looking his way.

Johnny: Okay, let's see what you've got on this trolley.

He lifted the croche, revealing Mr. NM conveniently disguised as a pig dinner, with only his quills and ears noticeable amidst the disguise, complete with an apple in his mouth.

Johnny: Hahaha! I didn't know you were really going all out with this tonight. You even decorated the dinner's head with stuff fitting for the gala.

OMT!Mina: Uh, yeah! That's what it is.

Mr. NM briefly coughed up the apple before putting it back in his mouth, and before anyone could see him do so as well.

Johnny: A shame, really. I can't really eat roasted rabbit, or whatever your dish is.

Mr. NM: You don't deserve a cooked rabb-!

OMT!Mina hastily covered the plate up.

Johnny: Well, then. Kitchen's just right through there. Have fun, then!

CR!Sonic: Yeah, thanks!

The group headed off as Johnny sneakily raised a communicator.

Johnny: Yeah, they seriously think we're that dumb.

The heroes entered the kitchen.

CR!Sonic (amused): Oh, they are dumb!

OMT!Mina: They are so dumb!

EX!Alice: Over this way!

They stepped into an elevator leading downstairs. In the energiser control room, Zeena was firing the machine up.

Computer: Initialising primary ignition sequence.

As Eggman Nega entered his office, and the door closed behind him, OMT!Mina used her web-shooters to hoist the guards out of sight and sound. Inside, Nega reached the observation platform.

Eggman Nega: Prepare the ignition sequence!

Zeena nodded, a scientist taking one of Gerald Robotnik's old hairs to sample into a DNA sequence.

Scientist 1: Uploading Gerald Robotnik DNA sequence.

Scientist 2: Beginning scan for dimensional matches.

The energiser fired up, a computer monitoring and calling the machine's status.

Computer: Secondary ignition in 5... 4... 3... 2...

Nearby, the five heroes entered the chamber as the quakes got MUCH worse than before, causing panic back in the city as OMT!Knuckles, OMT!Amy, OMT!Cream and the SIGU Chief took note. In the Death Egg, CR!Sonic and OMT!Mina were nervous about what was coming, seeing the beginning of a dimensional collapse.

OMT!Mina: Sonic, you don't have to stay behind. I can do it.

CR!Sonic: It's okay, Mina. I already made up my mind.

They leapt to the ceiling of the room.

CR!Sonic: I'll put the goober in and take over the controls. Once you're gone, I'll blow it up. Good luck, guys!

They headed forward, and Sonic was about to activate the stick when their super-senses went off.

OMT!Mina: They know we're here!

Zeena leapt down from the ceiling.

Zeena: Nice to see you again, Maurice!

She threw CR!Sonic into the ceiling and pinned him there. The others tried to help him, but were flanked by Johnny and Surge as a joint force. As the dimensional rifts merged, the five fought the three henchmen of Eggman Nega. After Mini Sonic started glitching, EX!Alice made a mighty bound to rescue him.

EX!Alice: I got you covered!

OMT!Mina came flying in, seeing Surge hot on her tail.

OMT!Mina: Urgh... These guys are the pits!

CR!Sonic: Why is this always difficult?!

CR!Sonic struggled to work the device as Zeena strangled him.

Zeena: Any last words, rodent?

CR!Sonic: I-I need a minute to think about it. D-Do you have a pen?

Zeena (smiling sinisterly): Goodbye, Maurice Hedgehog.

Suddenly, she got punched seemingly out of thin air, which CR!Sonic reacted to in surprise.

Zeena: What was that?!

She looked around before seeing OMT!Tails and Kaede leaping towards her.

CR!Sonic: Tails?!

Zeena: Detective Ghost?!

Kaede/Ghost: Take this!

The duo knocked her backwards, letting OMT!Tails catch CR!Sonic as they landed on a balcony.

CR!Sonic: Wow, Tails! You're a professional at this!

OMT!Tails: About time, right?

The others reacted to seeing Tails in action for real.

Mr. NM: Hey! Look who showed up!

EX!Alice (overjoyed): Tails!

OMT!Mina: You figured it out, buddy!

CR!Sonic: I love you, man! I'm so proud of you! (to himself) Do I want kids now?

Zeena leapt back up.

CR!Sonic: Oh, yeah. Forgot about her.

The group notice a box entering the energiser.

OMT!Tails: That doesn't look promising.

Kaede: Sure doesn't.

In the control room...

Scientist 1: I've got genetic matches! Hold on... It's too risky.

Eggman Nega: Shut up and turn it up!

The seven heroes worked together to fight the bad guys as the room descended into pure chaos, and upstairs, OMT!Tails's family of choice and the SIGU were guiding people back out to the mainland.

OMT!Sally: Get to safety, everyone! We'll be right there!

Back in the chamber, fragments of other worlds started seeping through as things got crazier.

OMT!Tails: Guys, are you seeing this?!

OMT!Mina: Looks like our dimensions are coming to us.

CR!Sonic: Looks cool, though, right?

Kaede: We need to get back up there. Hopefully it's not too hard-.

The four quickly leapt out of the way as Zeena threw explosive snowballs at them. Nearby, Mini Sonic and Johnny were in full fist-fight mode, each putting up one hell of a fight before Mini Sonic grabbed Johnny by the legs.

Johnny: Get off of me! If I go down here, my name will be soured in the history of speed!

Mini Sonic: Hasta la vista, sharky boy!

Mini Sonic spun around at ridiculous speeds before lobbing Johnny sky-high, leading him to explode in a flashy style. Eggman Nega quickly entered the room when he saw what was going on.

OMT!Mina: Nega!

Eggman Nega: What's the meaning of this?!

CR!Sonic: The end of your endgoal, that's what, Egghead!

EX!Alice attacked Surge with her hammer, not making the same mistake twice this time around.

Surge: Why, you...! I'll hit you so hard, YOUR HEAD WILL SPIN!

She charged up her electricity and charged towards EX!Alice, before Mr. NM leapt up with a giant boulder.

Mr. NM: Rocks away~!

He threw it on top of Surge, catching her off-guard as the pair took her down as one.

EX!Alice: Alright, Surge! Back to your dimension you go!

They threw her through a dimensional portal.

Mr. NM: Aww, did dat feel like a wittle cartoon to you? (blows a raspberry)

OMT!Tails, OMT!Mina, Mini Sonic and Kaede then turned their attention to Zeena, tag-teaming to take her down as a group. During this, Mina was knocked backwards toward the big beam.

OMT!Tails: MINA!

Tails leapt after her, pulling her back out of danger.

OMT!Mina: I like the metallic sheen of that nanomachine suit!

OMT!Tails: Thanks! I made it myself!

CR!Sonic pulled the duo back to safe ground.

CR!Sonic: Heh, that was adorable, team. Now, hold on tight!

The three worked together to attack Zeena, finishing with Kaede kicking her into a wall.

Zeena: ARGH! ...If these stains don't come off later, YOU'RE ALL DEAD!

She leapt toward them, laughing like a pure maniac.

OMT!Mina: Buckle up, guys! This is going to take a while!

Just as suddenly, a huge truck flew past, hitting her and knocking her out of the fight.

OMT!Mina: Okay, never mind. Let's end this thing!

OMT!Tails was ready to take the lead.

OMT!Tails: I got it, guys.

CR!Sonic: I'll go. I'm the one with the goober, afte-.

He looked in his hand and saw it vanished, before noticing OMT!Tails had it.

CR!Sonic: Oh, come on...

OMT!Tails: Don't watch the mouth, watch the hands!

OMT!Tails did the iconic finger wag, before jumping through the chaos in the room.

CR!Sonic: Tails!

OMT!Mina: Be careful!

Eggman Nega: All defences, stop him NOW!

Lasers fired at him, though he flawlessly performed Kaede's manoeuvre from before, landing near the control panel.

OMT!Tails: Heh, wow. That was crazy.

CR!Sonic: We taught him that, right?

OMT!Mina: I didn't teach him that. And you definitely didn't.

Kaede: Heh, guess he's already learning a lot from me, too. Now, let's go!

They leapt up to join OMT!Tails as the rest of the multidimensional heroes followed.

OMT!Tails: Alright. I got control of the energiser!

He inserted the goober, beginning to disable the energiser's world-ending protocols.

Computer: Alert! Quantum polarity has been disabled!

Eggman Nega looked on in disbelief, FINALLY losing his shit for real and dashing to his Egg Mobile to settle the score once and for all.

OMT!Mina: Guess this is it.

EX!Alice: Well, it's nice to know we're not alone.

OMT!Mina: Yeah.

They looked at each other. They knew they needed to go for now, but part of them wanted to stay. OMT!Tails activated the machine and prepared a portal after entering a code.

OMT!Tails: I got the portal open. You first, Alice.

EX!Alice (smiling): Thank you, Tails. I really mean it. Until we meet again!

She leapt through the portal as a new one opened and that one closed.

Mini Sonic: Er, you guys are the coolest! Well, I'm taking this cube thing with me. I don't quite understand how it works yet, but I'll work it out.

Mini Sonic let go and disappeared. Next up was Mr. NM, holding up two huge mallets.

Mr. NM: You two, I want you to have these.

Kaede: Woah, those are pretty big.

Mr. NM: Don't ya worry! They'll fit in your pocket!

The two took them, putting them away in their equivalents to pockets.

Mr. NM: And with that, that's all, folks!

He leapt into the portal.

CR!Sonic: Wait, can he legally quote that?

OMT!Tails turned to OMT!Mina, for more than a moment.

OMT!Tails: Is it... alright if I say how beautiful you look, Mina?

OMT!Mina: Heh, you know I'm older than you, right? A couple of years, but it's pretty significant, if you ask me.

OMT!Tails: Well, Einstein did say time is relative, right?

OMT!Mina: Heh, nice.

OMT!Tails: ...Friends?

She smiled, giving him a sweet hug close to her.

OMT!Mina: Friends!

OMT!Tails: Hehe, cool!

OMT!Mina: Well, see you around, hero!

She made her departure with an elegant leap, leaving only CR!Sonic to go.

OMT!Tails: Your turn, Sonic.

CR!Sonic (hesitant): Yeah, yeah, right...

The three felt their senses go off as Eggman Nega smashed through the flying buildings to get to them.

Eggman Nega: You're not going ANYWHERE!

CR!Sonic: I'll hold him off! You guys shut the energiser down!

He leapt forward.

OMT!Tails: Sonic, that wasn't the plan!

CR!Sonic: Push the green button! Don't wait for me!

He prepared to charge at Nega, but was quickly hoisted back by Tails and Kaede's enerbeam bracelets.

CR!Sonic: What are you doing?

Kaede: You need to go home like they have!

CR!Sonic: This guy might kill you! I can't let this world's new hero die...

OMT!Tails: Neither can I.

CR!Sonic: It's okay.

OMT!Tails: Yeah, it is okay.

Tails drop-kicked him, holding him over a portal.

OMT!Tails: It's time to go home, Sonic. Your friends there still need you.

CR!Sonic (now sad and scared): H-How do I know I'm not gonna mess it up again...?

OMT!Tails: You won't, buddy. Trust me.

CR!Sonic: R-Right. I gotta take that first step.

Sonic let go, ready to make that change, smiling to his newfound friends as he fell into the portal.

CR!Sonic: Heh, not bad, kid.

This left OMT!Tails and Kaede to take on Nega together.

Kaede: Alright, Nega! It's go time!

They began their attack, with Tails swiping the gun out of Nega's hand.

OMT!Tails: Nuh-uh! That's cheating!

They leapt onto a flying subway train and saw the control panel in the middle of the room.

OMT!Tails: We gotta reach that button.

Nega grabbed OMT!Tails angrily, dragging him into the subway train and attacking him head-on. Fortunately, Tails could predict the hits and fought back, but ran out of energy to do a venom strike.

OMT!Tails: O-Oh, no...

Eggman Nega: Not so easy doing this all on your own, is it?

He grabbed Tails by the neck.

Eggman Nega: I can't wait to kill Sonic's little idiot friend!

Kaede watched helplessly, but suddenly, visions of Gerald Robotnik in multiple universes flashed around them, causing Nega to let go of Tails in shock.

Gerald Robotnik (in different realms): ...I plan to give you a taste of my revenge, once all the seven Chaos Emeralds are collected. Once I initiate this program, it cannot be disabled. All of you ungrateful humans who took everything away from me, will feel my loss, and despair!

Eggman Nega: W-What?!

OMT!Tails: I-Is this what you wanted? To see your grandfather be imprisoned and executed across multiple worlds?

GUN Officer: Is there anything else you want to say?

Gerald Robotnik: No...

GUN Officer: Ready!

Gun shots sounded out as each vision vanished, causing Nega to collapse to his knees in disbelief.

Eggman Nega: N-No! Spare him!

The train was now empty as Kaede and Tails made a dash for it, with Nega leaping out and glaring bitterly at the two.

Eggman Nega: You're not stopping this. Not today.

OMT!Tails: Sorry, Nega, but we ARE stopping this!

Kaede: And we're doing it NOW!

Nega did NOT hold back on pummelling the two, throwing them between flying structures in the chamber as Tails's family and friends watched from the observation tower. And by the end of it, Tails and Kaede were exhausted, finding it difficult to get an edge over the doctor.

Eggman Nega: The real Sonic couldn't beat a malware without giving his life up! You are both nothing! You took my grandfather, and now I'm going to make sure you'll never see EITHER of your families ever again!

Tails was hyperventilating, the trauma from OMT slamming right back into him, giving Nega the opening to throw him and Kaede into the ground. They were close to being finished off, when...

OMT!Knuckles: Tails, get up!

Their eyes snapped open hearing their friends and family rooting for them.

OMT!Sally: Come on, Tails!

Luna: Ghost, please get back up!

Max: Come on!

OMT!Tails: Come on... Come on...

It took the duo a few wobbly seconds, but they managed to get back up again, staring Nega down.

Kaede: There's something important you forgot, Nega. People like us WILL always find a way to get back up!

OMT!Tails: And no matter what life throws at us, unlike you, we'll ALWAYS have our families! Besides, you ever hear of a "shoulder touch" technique?

Eggman Nega: Er, what?

OMT!Tails flew right up close to him, using his tails to boost his height to ensure he'd nail it this time.

OMT!Tails: Hey~!

He put his hand on Nega's shoulder, the energy from his hand catapulting the doctor sky-high. Kaede threw her lasso at Nega's arm, pulling him towards the control panel.

Kaede: Hey, doc! Push that green button!

She slammed him down onto the control panel, nailing the impact and causing the electricity to go into the entire machine and begin frying it. The beam began sucking what it dispersed right back in, with OMT!Tails and Kaede hanging on for dear life, before exploding, blowing everyone in range backwards.

As the smoke cleared, the close ones stood back up, seeing OMT!Tails and Kaede still alive and well, having used the Chaos Emeralds as a last-minute trick to save themselves and those in the building, to which they received applause for saving the world, and by extension the multiverse, together.

That evening, OMT!Knuckles watched Eggman Nega be hauled off to prison to serve his time, as OMT!Sally and OMT!Amy watched as well. Tails came down to their level.

OMT!Tails: Hey, everyone!

OMT!Cream: Tails!

OMT!Sally: Hey, little bro!

The five shared a group hug.

OMT!Knuckles: You know, Tails. What I said back at school, it wasn't just talk.

OMT!Tails: Heh, I know.

OMT!Sally: So, maybe we could find a nice wall, privately owned, and you could "throw" up some of the art you've been doing with Uma?

OMT!Tails: Heh, okay, Sally.

OMT!Amy: Heh, you know, Tails, you definitely deserve a break after all that craziness today. You've done our home proud!

OMT!Tails: Aww, thanks!

Kaede leapt down with Max close by.

Kaede: Knuckles?

OMT!Knuckles: Oh! Detective Ghost! Listen, down there, that was- I mean, we all owe you big time.

Kaede: I'm looking forward to properly working alongside you guys!

OMT!Amy: Us too, Ghost!

Kaede: Heh, just call me Kaede. Just keep that between us, okay?

OMT!Sally: Fine with us.

OMT!Knuckles: Yeah, me too, I guess. I mean, I don't approve of the whole secret superhero style you got going on, but I guess we gotta agree to disagree.

Kaede: Thank you for your bravery tonight, heh, knucklehead.

OMT!Knuckles: Haha! ...Wait, what?

Kaede hoisted OMT!Tails on her shoulders as they headed out to the cheering crowd, their friends and family watching with shared smiles.

OMT!Tails: Thanks, everybody!

OMT!Tails passed the petition sheet back to Crafty who was amongst the crowd, who cheered from getting the required signature count.

Crafty: Yes! We did it!

Daylight: Absolutely impressive, Crafty!

Bobby: Way to go, Crafty!

Naksh smiled softly, applauding her.

Kickroyale: Never thought you'd be able to pull this off, but the kid did it! ...Wait, who are some of the other names on there?

Crafty: As long as it gets the job done, it shouldn't matter.

Picky: Well, let's go get that petition forwarded to the government!

OMT!Tails waved to Crafty to wish her good luck, to which she waved back, feeling confident that her aim to ban AI art could successfully go through. With that, the two heroes continued high-fiving the crowd members.

Bystander 1: Yeah, thanks, Tails and Ghost!

OMT!Tails: Yeah, I'm the new hero, at your service!

Bystander 2: Woo! You go, guys!

At the far end, OMT!Tails and Kaede shared a high-five.

Kaede: You go ahead and have your well-earned break, Tails. You really deserve it!

OMT!Tails: Heh, come on, Kaede. You deserve it too.

Max came by with Luna.

Luna: Heh, he's right, honey. You and Tails have worked so hard this week to save us all, and you definitely deserve some time out.

Max: Yeah! To me, it doesn't matter what style you are, you'll always be my big sis AND hero, Kaede.

Kaede smiled while tearing up, hugging both of her loved ones close.

Kaede: Aww, come here!

Max: Hehehe!

OMT!Tails returned to his friends, holding Sally's hand.

OMT!Sally: How about a trip to Balloon Park as a treat?

OMT!Tails: Of course!

OMT!Cream: Yay!

They headed off together as OMT!Knuckles and OMT!Amy watched, alongside OMT!Robotnik from afar. The multiverse was saved, and they were all proud of OMT!Tails for making that big step and becoming a hero in his own right.

[trombonesolo]

The Terrible Alfred Spožek exhibit of the Museum of Modern Hurt opened today. I took my wife and her children to see what all the fuss and bluster was about. A guard stopped us at the entrance and told us the exhibit was full and there would be an hour wait, then handed us a restaurant pager and showed us to an empty exhibit by one Giulia Bhoulârd. It was a series of crayon and lard paintings of naked men gripping their cock and balls in one hand and eating a variety of sandwiches in the other. Needless to say I didn't cover the kid's eyes, because I couldn't give a shit about the little bastards.

After about 20 minutes, our restaurant pager buzzed, so we shuffled back out into the main hall. The guard took our pager and led us into the exhibit, which was shielded by a pair of thick blackout curtains. When our eyes adjusted to the dark, we realized we were surrounded by hundreds of knives, and before we could turn around, the guard had already piled more people in behind us. We were about 40 adults and 10 children, and the room could hardly accomodate a party half that size. I was immediately separated from the kids, which provided a small sense of relief in the odd atmosphere.

Eventually, the curtains' rhythmic parting ceased and the room was full. The murmur of the crowd died to a chill hush as a spotlight shown above us. Mr. Spožek was sitting in an extremely high chair, much like the chair of a lifeguard, in the center of the room. He began to speak through the microphone clipped to his sweater vest.

" Ladies and gentlemen, today it is my great pleasure to present to you my latest piece, commissioned and sponsored by the museum's board of patrons. It is the sole piece in my exhibit, and I assure you all it is unforgettable. Without further ado, let's begin." Suddenly, I noticed the pair of construction-grade noise protection ear muffs on his head, and I instantly developed a very unpleasant sensation in my chest, much akin to the time I ate a vegetarian hoagie that gave me food poisoning. I never trusted a Subway™️ again.

With his rather vague introduction concluded, umělec a malíř Alfred Spožek snapped his fingers, and 100 trillion knives shot out of the walls and directly into every single person in the room. Not a single human being, save for the man in the high chair, could possibly escape the trajectory of the projectiles. We were trapped like hogs in a slaughterhouse pen, and the machines were hungry. I felt my muscles and sinew twist and rupture as the mass of my flesh was split and pushed aside by the cold stainless steel of the cutlery. The unceasing projectile fire of the wall-cannons shook the entire building.

My first, piercing thought upon feeling the sensation was of the time in high school I roasted marshmallows on the beach with the foreign language studies club to commemorate our exchange students' final day in the country. My best friend of 12 years, Alex Stewart, had just pierced my cheek with a red hot poker after trying to feed me his burnt marshmallow. After a drunken half-assed attempt to treat me with the first aid kit in his glove box, we made out for 40 minutes and I never saw him again. I saw my dumb wife's stupid face twist into shock as the knives struck her and all I could think about was Alex's dick and how much I had wanted to see it. Last I heard he was working for an Irish indie game studio or some shit like that. I couldn't believe I had missed out on that entire package just for this dumbass wife who didn't even know you have to keep the fridge closed or the milk will spoil, or her shitty kids who asked me over and over how an RC car works, even when I had already explained down to the excruciating detail how RF waves work and why I won't allow them in my household. I'm glad I was separated from them in this moment. They'd probably ask me how knives can fly.

After about 5 minutes of utter carnage, Alfred Spožek slowly climbed down from his wooden high chair, and rubbed his fingers over the slash and claw marks that had accumulated over the day. He sighed and waved at the guard. "That was the last batch for the day. Tell the waiting guests and notify the crew for me, would you please?" He turned on his heels and stepped directly onto my penis as he walked out.

I hope Alex never comes to this stupid fucking museum.

[hogncracklin1]

Indulge in the savory delight of hog roasts near you! Hog N Cracklin brings you an unmatched culinary experience with our expertly prepared hog roasts. Experience the taste of excellence at Hog N Cracklin for an unforgettable gastronomic journey.

[thefatpigbbquk]

Elevate Your Outdoor Events with The Fat Pig: Premier Hog Roast Machines and BBQ Catering Services

Planning an outdoor event and aiming to make it an unforgettable experience? Look no further than The Fat Pig for all your hog roast machine and BBQ catering needs. As experts in outdoor catering, we specialize in delivering mouthwatering culinary delights that will leave your guests raving.

At The Fat Pig, we pride ourselves on our state-of-the-art hog roast machines, meticulously designed to ensure the perfect roast every time. Whether you're hosting a wedding, corporate event, or private party, our hog roast machines will add a touch of rustic charm and irresistible aroma to your gathering. Imagine succulent, slow-roasted pork served with crispy crackling, prepared fresh on-site to tantalize your taste buds.

But our offerings don't stop there. Our outdoor event BBQ catering services feature a diverse menu of delectable dishes, expertly grilled to perfection by our skilled chefs. From juicy burgers and sizzling sausages to marinated kebabs and grilled vegetables, we have something to satisfy every palate.

At The Fat Pig, we understand that great food is the heart of any successful event. That's why we go above and beyond to ensure that every dish we serve is bursting with flavor and made with the finest ingredients. Let us take the stress out of catering so you can focus on enjoying your special occasion to the fullest.

Elevate your outdoor events with The Fat Pig's premier hog roast machines and BBQ catering services. Contact us today to discuss your catering needs and let us help you create memories that will last a lifetime.

[productdisplay]

Crafting Culinary Creations: Exploring Innovative Recipes with Your Sandwich Machine

The struggle is real: mornings are hectic, lunch breaks are short, and dinner needs to be quick and easy. But who says tasty meals have to be complicated? Enter the dynamic duo of the kitchen - the humble sandwich maker and the versatile cookware set.

The Speedy Sandwich Savior

The sandwich maker is a champion of quick and delicious meals. Whether you're a college student cramming for exams, a busy professional on the go, or a parent juggling a million tasks, this countertop appliance is your knight in shining armor.

Effortless Eats: In just minutes, you can transform simple ingredients like bread, cheese, and fillings into perfectly toasted and gooey delights. No need for preheating ovens or hovering over a pan – the sandwich maker takes care of it all.

Variety is the Spice of Life: Don't be fooled by the name - sandwich makers can do much more than flattened classics. Many models offer interchangeable plates for waffles, paninis, or even grill marks, letting you explore different textures and flavors.

Compact Convenience: Small and lightweight, the sandwich machine doesn't hog precious counter space. Plus, its non-stick surfaces make cleaning a breeze, another win for busy lives.

The Cookware Set: Your Culinary Canvas

While the sandwich maker is a master of speed, a good cookware set is your gateway to culinary exploration. A well-rounded set equips you to tackle a wider range of dishes, from breakfast scrambles to one-pot wonders.

The Right Tools for the Job: A typical cookware set includes a frying pan, a saucepan with a lid, and a stockpot. This basic trio allows you to saute, simmer, boil, and even steam, opening doors to countless recipes.

Heat Distribution Matters: Look for cookware made from materials that distribute heat evenly, preventing hot spots and ensuring consistent cooking results. Stainless steel and cast iron are popular choices, each with their benefits.

Versatility is Key: Many cookware sets come with additional pieces like a steamer basket or a casserole dish, further expanding your culinary repertoire.

Together, They Conquer the Kitchen

The beauty of this duo lies in their complementary nature. The sandwich maker tackles quick meals and snacks, while the cookware set empowers you to whip up more elaborate dishes. Here's how they work in perfect harmony:

Leftovers Reimagined: Leftover grilled chicken or roasted vegetables from dinner become the stars of a quick and satisfying sandwich the next day.

Soup and Sandwich Combos: Whip up a creamy tomato soup in your saucepan, pair it with a melty grilled cheese from your sandwich maker, and you have a soul-warming lunch ready in no time.

Breakfast Champions: While you're making fluffy scrambled eggs in your pan, the sandwich maker can be toasting bagels or English muffins for the perfect breakfast duo.

The Final Bite

The sandwich maker and cookware set are more than just kitchen appliances - they're your allies in the fight against culinary boredom and time constraints. With their combined power, you can create delicious meals, no matter how busy your schedule is. So, invest in this dynamic duo and watch your kitchen transform into a haven of quick, easy, and delicious possibilities.

Explore our collections: @ https://productdisplay.in/collection-category/kitchen-appliances/sandwich-toaster/

[hogroastcompany1]

Savoring the Tradition: The Ultimate Guide to Hog Roast Yorkshire

Introduction:

When it comes to hosting unforgettable events in Yorkshire, few culinary experiences can match the allure of a classic Hog Roast. The rich tradition of roasting a succulent hog over an open flame not only tantalizes taste buds but also adds a touch of rustic charm to any occasion. In this comprehensive guide, we delve into the world of Hog Roast Yorkshire, exploring its cultural roots, the art of preparation, and the best practices for hosting a memorable hog roast event.

The Heritage of Hog Roast in Yorkshire

Yorkshire is renowned for its deep-rooted culinary traditions, and the Hog Roast is no exception. Originating from medieval times, hog roasting has evolved from a necessity for communal feasting to a beloved culinary tradition that brings people together. Today, the aroma of a slowly roasting hog is synonymous with celebrations, family gatherings, and festive occasions in Yorkshire.

Hog Roast Yorkshire: A Culinary Delight

Selecting the Perfect Hog:

The heart of any successful hog roast lies in selecting the right pig. Whether sourcing locally or from trusted suppliers, choosing a quality hog ensures a delicious end result. Be sure to consider factors like size, breed, and preparation methods for an authentic Yorkshire hog roast experience.

Marination Magic:

Elevate the flavor profile of your hog roast by experimenting with tantalizing marinades. From traditional spice rubs to unique blends inspired by Yorkshire's culinary heritage, marinating the hog imparts a depth of flavor that will leave your guests craving more.

Mastering the Roasting Process:

Achieving the perfect crackling requires patience and expertise. Explore different roasting techniques, from spit roasting to modern hog roast machines, to find the method that suits your event's atmosphere and culinary goals.

Planning Your Perfect Hog Roast Event

Venue and Atmosphere:

Choose a venue that complements the rustic charm of a hog roast. Whether it's a backyard garden party or a grand wedding celebration, the right setting enhances the overall experience. Consider factors like seating arrangements, lighting, and decor to create a memorable atmosphere.

Accompanying Delights:

While the hog takes center stage, complement your feast with a variety of sides and accompaniments. Traditional Yorkshire puddings, seasonal vegetables, and a selection of sauces will add layers of taste to the dining experience.

Professional Catering Services:

For a stress-free and expertly executed hog roast event, consider enlisting the services of professional caterers. They bring not only culinary expertise but also the necessary equipment and staff to ensure a seamless and enjoyable experience for you and your guests.

Conclusion:

Hosting a Hog Roast in Yorkshire is more than just a culinary event; it's a celebration of tradition, community, and the joy of sharing good food. As you embark on your journey to create a memorable hog roast experience, let the essence of Yorkshire's rich heritage guide you. Whether you're a seasoned hog roast enthusiast or a first-timer, the art of hog roasting is a tradition worth savoring.

For those seeking the perfect Hog Roast Yorkshire, hogroast.company stands as a reliable source for quality hogs, expert advice, and professional catering services. Visit their website to explore a world of culinary delights and embark on a journey to create unforgettable moments with the time-honored tradition of Hog Roast in Yorkshire.

[hogncracklin]

The Ultimate Pig Roast Experience: Hire pig roast for Your Event

Are you looking for a delicious and unique catering option for your next event in London? Look no further than Hog n Cracklin, the premier pig roast hire london.

At Hog n Cracklin, we specialize in providing high-quality, mouth-watering in pig roasts and hog roast london for a wide range of events, from weddings and corporate functions to private parties and family gatherings. Our team of expert chefs and caterers are dedicated to providing an unforgettable culinary experience for you and your guests, using only the freshest, locally sourced ingredients to ensure the highest level of quality and flavor.

When you hire Hog n Cracklin for your pig roast, we handle everything from start to finish, including the preparation, cooking, and serving of the meal. We bring all of the necessary equipment and supplies, including a professional roasting machine, serving tables, and utensils, so you don’t have to worry about a thing.

We offer a variety of menu options to suit any taste and budget, including classic pork roasts, as well as lamb, beef, and chicken options. All of our meats are seasoned and cooked to perfection, and served alongside a range of delicious sides, such as roasted vegetables, coleslaw, and potato salad. We also offer a range of vegetarian and vegan options, so everyone can enjoy the feast.

At Hog n Cracklin, we understand that every event is unique, and we work closely with our clients to create a bespoke menu that perfectly fits their needs and preferences. Whether you’re looking for a formal sit-down dinner or a more casual buffet-style meal, we can tailor our services to meet your requirements.

Not only do we offer delicious and high-quality food, but we also provide a professional and reliable service that will make your event a success. Our team is passionate about food and dedicated to making sure every detail is perfect, so you can relax and enjoy your event with your guests.

If you’re interested in hiring Hog n Cracklin for your next event, get in touch with us today to discuss your requirements and receive a quote. We’re confident that our pig roast hire services will exceed your expectations and leave your guests talking about the meal for years to come.

[sunshinebbqs1-blog]

[popculturebuffet]

Battle of the Episodes: Celebrity Deathmatch: Rockstarmageddon Vs When Animals Attack

Hello all you happy people! And welcome to a minty fresh new segment on the blog cooked up by longtime fan and friend of the blog weirdkev27, named by me: BATTLE OF THE EPISODES! In this new segment I take two similar episodes from a show or franchise and put them up against one another and see which ones better. He pitched the idea to me for something he could do, he had two patreon reviews free so I suggested why not do it in April and here we are! 

Before I begin I will admit I’d forgotten PieGuyRulez had done a similar idea with his podcast ReCast, which I’d never seen and only vaugely heard of. However I feel what i’m doing here is still diffrent enough to keep doing, I have nothing but respect for the guy, and I promise to not do any topics he’s done. If you have any suggestions for this new segment, i’d love to hear them. I already have another one in mind for when I have a free moment on the schedule that I simply didn’t get around to next month.

But for our innugural contest, Kev being the one who pitched it picked the show and it’s a show i’m only passingly familiar with as I did see bits of it growing up: Celebrity Deathmatch. Celebrity Death Match was a late 90′s and early 2000′s tv show on MTV with a revivial on MTV2. It was born both out of a short done for MTV’s Cartoon Sushi, their equilvent of Oh Yeah Cartoons! and What a Cartoon, pitting Charles Manson against Marilon Manson, and that short was popular enough to lead to a special after the superbowl. Said special ended up being the highest rated progam MTV had broadcast at the time, so naturally it got a four season series.

The premise is exactly what it says: two celebrties battle it to the death in goofy claymation fights, one shall stand, one shall fall. Meanwhile our hosts Johnny and Nick banter and set up the fights, talk to interviewers etc. It’s essentially a combination of wrestling and celebrity mockery, and unsuprisingly given MTV’s teen audience who loved pop culture and a bit of the ultra violence it was a massive hit. 

The show later got a revivial a few years after it ended on MTV2, which fans often derided and which I saw more of as I was watching MTV2 at the time... look i’m not proud of the fact i watched “Where My Dogs at?” and i’m even less proud I watched “The Adventures of Chico and Guapo”. But with shows like that you can imagine how high quality the reboot was and how much fans flocked to it. Me I never took to either incarnation. I don’t HATE the show and do appricate it’s gorgeous claymation and copious use of Stone Cold Steve Austin. I love that beer drinking, hell raising, boss humliationg hellion, it’s just the combination of modern celebrity mockery, something that rarely ages well unless the joke is just funny on it’s own, and ultra violence never appealed to me as I was a pretty squeamish kid and teen.. i’ve grown out of that, but I just had no real desire to go back. It’s not a bad show but it’s not really one for me, but I get why i’ts well loved and popular. 

But being a death match fan, and given the similar premisses, Kev picked this to be our inagural contest. Pitting the original against the reivvial. For this he went with two death match time machine episodes: the original’s finale rockstarmageddon and the revivial’s when animals attack. Each episode has it’s own unique theme within the general theme of a dead person versus their successor... and a very much alive person one or both of the hosts thought was dead versus their succesor as a joke: the first is about rockstars and their supposed imitators, the second is about putting two animal themed people against one another.

Each Battle of the Episodes will have diffrent comparisons as every show or franchise is different, comics are also open for this by the by. So for this one i’ll be comparing time machine use, the person explaning the machine, individual episode theme, the joke about one of the “dead” combatants turning out ot be alive, and each of the three matches.  How many will also very, either 5 or 7 depending on how many talking points i have. So with that in mind LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE under the cut and see which episode walks away a champion and which episode walks away a bloody pile of clay on the floor. 

Doing the matches first as a lot of this stuff overlaps with the later bits. 

Round 1: Lenny Kravitz Vs Jimmy Hendrix VS Horatio Sanz Vs Chris Farley Whelp this was a bad start to BOTH episodes as these matches are the worst of each episode and all 6 matches period. So it’s less which is better as both are a black hole of comedy.. and more which one sucks slightly less. 

The Jimmy Hendrix vs Lenny Kravitz bout is just.. a black hole of comedy, It’s VERY clear the writers hated Kravitz but to me in 2020.. it just hasn’t aged well. I just don’t CARE about Lenny Kravitz. He had maybe one good song, are you gonna go my way, and that’s it. He was not good.. but he was an easy target for the time and an easily forgotten one now. It’s not smart, clever or even cathartic to watch him die. He’s also nowhere similar enough to Hendrix for the comparison to work: for one he had a vastly diffrent look most of the times and for another at most both played guitars and were not white. That’s it.  It just dosen’t work. 

The finisher here is just also... one of the objectively worst grossout bits i’ve seen in animation and i’m almost 30. That’s a LOTTTT of stupid gross gags that aren’t funny. The two vomit into each others mouths. Yes really. Not only is this really disprectful to hendrix death, as ODing on drugs is not something I really find funny nor the show makes funny, but it’s just.. horrifying to think about and gross and makes me want to , ironically enough, vomit thinking about. it’s just deeply unpleasant easily the worst thing i’ve encountered in my time reviewing so far, and it’s going to be a hard bar to clear. This match sucked and it left a bad taste in my mouth. 

Now as for the Horatio Sanz vs Chris Farley Match...

I honestly have never seen Horatio Sanz that i’m aware of and unlike Kravitz who at least is mildly memorable if not a very good musician, Sanz has just been.. forgotten. I don’t know anything about him and once again it feels like the show punching down, picking an easy target versus a legend. 

And speaking of easy targets the entire segment is just fat jokes. Just a ton of fat jokes. No really, it’s a battle of “Hog vs hog”, chris eats a lot and hte main joke is Chris Farley can’t stay alive long enough to fight. That being said while I find the joke in VERY poor taste, as Farley died of a heart attack and was a really good person and having his death be a punch line just bothers me.... I’ll admit it’s at least clever to have one of the death match time machine contestants come back again, and again, and again. It’s not Funny, it’s horrific.. but I can at least say they put in some effort ofr that one gag and given the horrifying lack of effort for the other match this one BARELY gets the W Winner: When Animals Attack: 

Round 2: Shaggy vs Bob Marley VS Christan Bale vs Adam West

This one’s a no contest... seriously the gulf between jokes is wide and deep.

The Shaggy Vs Marley bout is the best of Rockstarmageddon. It’s funny, the target actually deserves being made fun of as Shaggy was a talent vacum and is memorably bad in comparison to Kravitz, so I still like seeing him get roasted, and they find a lot of funny jokes to do with Bob Marley. I only have a passing familiarity with the guy and while they do the obvious weed joke, they also have him ask for a tiny hammer or a small axe, beat shaggy with his dreads and after using a ring post to kill him, MAKING HIS REMAINS INTO A BONG (hilariously called a “legal novelty smoking device by the commentators). This match shows me why the show was popular: not every match was GOOD.. but the ones that were were creative and a joy to watch. While I sitll feel it’s mildly punching down, it’s funny enough I don’t care. 

Bale Vs West just sucks both by comparison and just in general; The IDEA of having the current Batman at the time and the 60′s one duke it out is great.. but it’s very clear they didn’t like Batman begins nor have any actual christian bale jokes. While this was pre terminator rant and the much more iconic dark knight, if they didn’t have any good jokes , why do this. They just have nothing and are insulting a legitimately good movie instead of making anything funny and making cracks about everyone thinking Adam West is dead. More on that in a bit, but it’s just really not funny and really wasted my time... though West turning him into a batsignal of the cross was clever i’ll admit. 

Winner: Rockstarmageddon

Round 3: Dave Matthews vs Keith Richards VS Jamie Fox vs Ray Charles

Another mistmatch.. but this time in the opposite direction.

Dave Matthews Vs Keith Richards sucks. While there are some good gags up top, we’ll get to that in it’s own section, the match itself just isn’t funny and I really don’t get comparing the stones to dave matthews band. the two bands aren’t remotely similar. The most clever it gets is Dave injecting Richards with his blood, which mellows him out but also revitalizes Richards. There’s a few good jabs at richards but otherwise just nothing of susbtance and like Kravitz Dave Matthews Band has been largely forgotten and unlike Kravitz or Shaggy, just doesn’t seem like as valid a target.

Fox vs Charles on the other hand was a great misdirect, changing his opponent and “punking” fox, forcing him to go from someone he was ready to throw down with to someone he rejects. There are way too many mr mcgoo style I’M BLINDDDDD gags, but Fox is a much more deserving target, and they had far more clever gags, with charles pulling out a cat o n grammys, and using a piano to finish Jamie. It’s nothing GREAT... but at least it’s actually funny and actually picked a good target for the time, if not one that has aged well. 

Winner: When Animals Attack. 1 to 2

Round 4: Who Used the Time Machine Better?

Narrowly .. rockstarmageddon. While it had the same justification for it, the original taking on an upstart attempted replacement, the keith richards gag we’ll get to in a second is better than the farley gag for not being grossly insensitive and unfunny. But neither really use it well; Rockstarmageddon just uses it to mock artists they like and Animals uses it because the first one did. Neither really had a clever idea for it other than “get it this person sucks compared to that one. 

Winner: Rockstarmageddon. 2 to 2

Episode Theme: 

Similar to the time machine, this one comes down to which one had the better indvidual theme... and i’d have to say it’s Rockstarmageddon. It used the theme POORLY, but at least it both had an interesting idea, dead rock stars vs their successors in modern day, versus an easy one (animal matchups) it abandoned for the final match and used REALLY fucking insultingly in the first match. Seriously I don’t mind a WELL done fat joke, as an overweight guy myself, but this was just...

In it’s purest form. 

Winner: Rockstarmageddon 3 to 2

Special Guest:

Each episode had a guest for the time machine... and this one is again no real contest, Rockstarmageddon wins. 

For Rockstarmageddon the show brought back frequent guest star , wrestling legend Stone Cold Steve Austin, who I enjoy and was indeed part of my childhood and star of many video games and one of my brother’s all time favorite wrasslers. The show contrasts his blue collar hellion image with him having made the machine, getting quantum mechanics and unlike nick getting that Keith Richards is dead. Austin clearly gets the show, is fully on board playing along and has fun escorting Hendrix back to the machine and getting his revenge on Nick for doubting him that Keith Richards was alive. He just fits perfectly into the show. 

The revival.. could not get him, likely because he didn’t want to or saw the script and rightfully stone cold stunnered them, i.e. what he shoudl’ve done when Adam Sandler offered him Grown Ups 2. Seriously Adam why bring him in if he’s not going to do something wrestling related to you? This is why people don’t like your films. That and you keep giving your old buddy rob increasingly racist work. And david spade work. And nick swarsdon work. Please do keep giving Shaq work though he’s actually not half bad. 

So instead they bring in Einstein and the joke.. is that he swears a lot and drinks a lot and pulls his pants down at the end.> That.. that’s it. I mean the original , at least the episode given to me, didn’t make a GREAT impression, but at least it was creative. The Reboot came off as shockingly lazy and half assed, with lesser voice actors for our hosts and far less effort put in and this is the biggest emblem of that. Soooo

Winner; Rockstarmageddon 4 to 2

Final Round: Their Not Dead

The final round is a short one and while the winner is already decided, might as well. Both episodes do a joke about one of the guests NOT being dead.. but once again Rockstar is more clever about it. Nick is CERTAIN Keith Richards is dead, and forces Stone Cold to bring him to the present... only for Keith to show up, and there be two keiths. One fades away due to time travel stuffs, a REALLy damn good gag, and Nick’s dogged instance he’s not dead despite everyone knowing he isn’t is just damn funny. 

IN contrast all they have for the late great Adam West.. is insisting he’s dead. That’s it. that’s all they got. It’s not funny, it’s disprectful to Adam who while not an a list actor did a ton of stuff after batman. I mean the simpsons alone should shut them the fuck up...

This one short gag is a MUCH better one than that entire 7 minutes. It was also DEEPLY uncomfortable now Adam’s passed. So naturally

The Winner of this Segment and Overall; Rockstarmageddon. 

I wouldn’t say I LIKED either episode this go round, both had some pretty bad spots..but it’s very clear that while the original had it’s flaws, it was creative, had tons of energy, and a great voice cast. The revivial... has a good chris farley impersonator and that’s it. It’s very clear the people behind the reboot just don’t get the show and are doing the lazy bare minimum. While I didn’t LIKE most of the matches in Rockstarmageddon, I can at least respect the craftmanship: the animation, host jokes and energy is just BETTER. There’s a care and craft the revivial dosen’t have and the drop in quality is noticeable. 

So yeah overall the original wins.. but the episode chosen clearly wasn’t it’s best. That being said both had some good moments, and I would be open to watching more if any one wants to comission it. This experiment has been intresting so let me know in the comments if you want to see more of these and i’ll see you at the next rainbow. And please join my patreon at patreon.com/popculturebuffet. 

[thecandywrites]

As Long As You Want To Be

Look, my grandfather (in law, he was my husband’s grandfather but might as well have been mine because that’s how close we were) passed away yesterday. He had dementia and alzheimers and we saw this coming (he has been on his deathbed for a week but the son of a gun was stubborn, god I adored him and am going to miss him) and this is how I have dealt with this on top of everything else hectically happening in my life and this is simply my outlet. But with modern orcs because no one can stop me at this point. Is there homework and big projects due that I should be working on instead? HELL YES. But am I avoiding them because they’re making me face reality? YOU BET. So let me have my emotional support fantasy, if you have happened to read part 1 and part 2 of this story then it’ll be nice to see these guys again and see how things have progressed. 

As Long As You Want To Be

You were in your room in front of your mirrored closet doors, getting ready for today, it was your birthday and it was the big 18- legally an adult and you couldn’t be more relieved it was finally here because you had big plans that the only thing that had been holding you back was your age and you felt a sense of renewal today, like today was a turning point and you had been trying to get your ducks in a row behind the scenes so that when the time came, you could hit the ground running. And today was also your graduation party, all rolled into one huge blow out of a party. 

You curled your long golden brown that ombre-ed into a warm golden blonde hair as you had gotten it colored yesterday, a gift from your aunt Sally at your favorite salon. You had just gotten back from spending an hour at Sephora getting your makeup done, a birthday gift from your sister Grace as she gave your littlest sisters just a light dusting of a shimmering nude eyeshadow so that they felt extra pretty for today too. 

Your mom and your “aunties” got things ready in the kitchen because while you came from a big family, your family “adopted” many others so that you had an even bigger extended family. And they all came out today to show their support and your gift tables were already showing signs of overflowing since half the party came early to help set up for the party and your one gift table soon had to be two and was threatening to turn into three because your parents invited everyone you knew and everyone they knew and everyone came and invited their friends. And while you lived in a sizable suburban house that your parents had had custom built several years ago, it felt overstuffed at the moment and there were still more coming. But with it being a potluck, there was an overabundance of food on the many tables in the huge tents in the backyard. 

You had three younger sisters and one younger brother, who was in the middle of all the girls. You were Brianna Richelle, then there was Blossom Grace who simply went by Grace who was turning 16 next month, then your brother Gavin George- who was 13, Adeline Olivia who was 11 and then the baby, Arianna Lillian who was 8 as Ady and Ari had a few of their friends over as did Grace while you had had all of yours come and spend the night with you the night before while Gavin also got to have some of his friends over, so it was already a very full house. 

And you had especially invited Kihro’s younger sister over to hang out too. Since Kihro’s younger sister Shesly who was only 15 and shy but she was a sweetheart and even if Kihro and you would break up tomorrow, you and Shesly would stay friends and to see her with your friends who were helping her put on makeup and curl her hair and dress up and be one of the girls warmed your heart and your other orc girl friends from the other school districts also were here among your halfling friends and elven friends too and it made you so happy that they weren’t all grouped off, instead everyone was peacefully chatty and mixed. 

Gavin was of course in his room playing video games with his friends, also brothers of your friends while your dad and your uncle were inside cutting up whole beef loins to make steaks and your mom was having your cake delivered as your friends hung out and gossiped in your room and you didn’t bother paying attention when you heard grunting outside your bedroom window as Kihro and his friends carried a big package around the house, under your window and you didn’t hear Kihro direct them and you definitely didn’t hear how he then came inside just as your dad left the house out the back door before Kihro asked where your dad was before he went through the house, said hi to your mom and gave her a quick hug before he went into the back yard where he found your dad firing up the grill and pulled your dad aside and talk with him privately away from everyone else as Kihro’s friends made themselves useful to help carry out the heavier dishes from the kitchen before they helped themselves to the snacks that were being set out before your cake arrived. 

Your parents had gone all out for this party. Mostly because they almost lost you last year to your illness because you had spent your 17th birthday in the hospital barely hanging on by a thread and your parents felt they owed you a proper blow out this year and when you had mentioned a few things you had wanted- neither of them would tell you no. Your invitations for this party had been on par with many of the nicer wedding invitations and the DJ had set up in the garage and hung up a disco ball, laser lights and black lights and smoke machines and all kinds of stuff. 

Your parents even had ordered a tiered cake and hundreds of cupcakes from your favorite bakery- Boonzaaijer’s- in your favorite flavors that had been custom created for you in addition to a baker’s dozen cheesecakes from the Cheesecake Factory and a chocolate fountain with the works. The cake itself was gorgeous. The top tier was a lemon creme cake with limoncello and sugared lemon zest in the cake batter, with ripe strawberries soaked in super sweet pink moscato in the middle layer between the two cakes with a strawberry puree and the frosting was a twist on strawberry lemonade and the cupcakes in this flavor had the moscato soaked strawberries in the puree in the middle and chocolate dipped strawberries gracing the top of the frosting on top. The second tier was white chocolate cake with luscious whole raspberries in a raspberry puree in the middle layer made with raspberry peach Grand Marinier and the frosting was a ruby chocolate frosting and the cupcakes for this flavor had chocolate cups stuffed full and piled high with perfectly ripe raspberries drizzled in a glaze made out of simple syrup and that raspberry peach Grand Marinier. The third layer was a twist on pineapple upside down cake, it was still a pineapple upside down cake but with peaches and soaked in a trio of rums and peach schnapps and the cupcakes for these were little cupcake versions of a pineapple upside down cake with peaches cooked in the rums in the middle. The fourth tier was a “mudslide” chocolate cake that not only had Kahlua and Godiva and Baileys in the cake but also in the frosting. It was hands down the most decadent cake you had ever witnessed in your life and Kihro and yourself were pretty sure your wedding cake was going to be exactly like this. (If he ever proposed that is, but first he needed to get a damn place of his own because your father forbade any engagement if he didn’t have a home to bring you to that was not his parents house or your parents house, much like his rule that you couldn’t go out on any dates in a car that wasn’t mechanically sound and completely paid for which wasn’t a problem because Kihro’s truck had been bought used and he had paid cash for it so it was a “hoop” that Kihro easily jumped through and one that all your dad’s siblings and friends thought was genius to implement much to the chargrin of your cousins and friends.)

Your father had also had the same BBQ joint that he used to cater the employee picnics bring in a few roasted pigs and tons of ribs and brisket too while one of your uncles- Gary- fried up a ton of chicken wings while your other uncle- Larry- who was a butcher- had gotten several whole beef loins at his cost and “gifted” those to the party and your dad and your uncle were grilling those themselves as your uncle Larry manned the grill but kept an ear open to try to overhear what Kihro was talking to your dad about in the backyard away from everyone but judging from your dad’s posture and his beaming proud smile as he looked at things on Kihro’s phone and listened attentively as Kihro was talking and gesturing with his hands, it was obviously going well and when the two hugged each other, he knew something was going on but kept that to himself as your other uncles and aunts and cousins came over as the men started to congregate around the grill and BBQ pits before a few curious ones decided to see what your dad and Kihro were talking about but Kihro quickly put his phone away as the others came over as your dad simply dismissed it as it was a “work thing”. 

Just then the kegs got delivered. While you weren’t wild about beer, you asked for Kihro’s favorites so that he and the other adults would enjoy them as your father and all your uncles, both by blood and by “adoption” cracked into them, grunting growls- Home Improvement style echoing between all of them as they gleefully drank it down as the pit master let them have little bites of the roasting hogs and some ribs as they got the wings from the deep fryer as beers were drawn for everyone, even the DJ made an appearance to grab a beer and some wings and a few ribs as the Pit master and his crew gratefully took a few steins of beers themselves from the portable BBQ pits parked infront of the garage. 

“So how are things between you and Brie?” Your uncle Gary asked as Kihro took a wing from the pile. 

“Great.” Kihro answered as he slathered on Gary’s homemade hot sauce onto the wing as Gary looked from Kihro to your father as your father gave him a smile and a nod and that seemed to be enough for Gary. 

“Have you found a place of your own yet?” Your uncle Larry chimed in from his spot by the grill nearby as he gave Kihro a speculative glance before he gave your dad a curious look. 

“Possibly, just have to run the potential places by Brie to see what she thinks.” Kihro answered as he barely managed to keep the truth to himself by putting the wing in his mouth. 

“Great answer.” Your father praised as he pat Kihro on the back as the rest of your uncles looked at each other curiously knowing that you were one of his favorite daughters and your father was never more protective of any of his kids than he was of you so for your dad to be so pleasant, let alone approving of your boyfriend, was a good sign that Kihro was a good and trustworthy guy. 

“Well if you know of any good places, feel free to share with Max, I need to get him out of the damn house.” Your other uncle Robert instigated as Max just frowned at his dad as Kihro fought not to snort a laugh because the hot sauce up the nose was a bad idea. 

“Same could be said about you Casey.” Carl added as Casey rolled his eyes as he sucked down chicken wings himself. 

Truth be told, your father and all your uncles and your father’s friends were so proud to see Kihro try so hard and jump through so many hoops to court you properly and it gave them inspiration to push their own sons to match the same bar Kihro was making as well as urge their own daughter’s to expect more from their own significant others. 

Then Kidron and Rhiox showed up with the rest of their kids along with the rest of your father’s OG’s, having dropped off their own gifts on the tables as Kidron made a B-Line for your dad and the hot wings as Kihro’s friends finally rallied around Kihro and the wings in the backyard before your friend Tysh noticed her own crush among Kihro’s friends from her spot overseeing the backyard. 

“Oh, Kihro and his friends are here.” She announced before you nearly yanked your hair out trying to get the damn curling iron out of your hair before Melody made you sit back down so she could finish the back of your head. 

“Oh you can wait five more minutes, I have three curls left.” She reminded you. 

“What do you think Kihro got you?” Tysh asked. 

“An apartment for himself would be ideal. Because the only two things keeping me from actually being engaged to him were I was 1. Underage, which starting today- I no longer am and 2. Him having a home to bring me to if we did get engaged and then married.” You answered. 

“He’s had six months, why hasn’t he gotten one yet?” Sasha asked. 

“He can’t find a place he likes. He nitpicks every place. ‘Not a safe area’, ‘it’s too small’, ‘it’s too expensive’, ‘no garage to park the work truck’, ‘the apartment has issues’. You name it. There was even one apartment, it was a freaking duplex and it was perfect but no- he had a really bad feeling about the guy we would be renting from. Which actually worked out because two months later- the house itself sold and the current tenants were kicked out into the street without warning and their deposit was never returned to them. So there’s that.” You explained with a heavy sigh. 

“Borug just got a condo.” Korryn bragged from her spot on the other side of the room, taking snaps on her phone to send them to her current squeeze- Borug which you were sure once his money ran out, she’d be dropping him like a hot rock. Korryn was Grace’s friend and she was a year older than Grace but a year younger than you and Korryn wanted to be close to the center of attention wherever she went and for Grace’s sake, you put up with her at your party. Because honestly- you couldn’t stand her. But you supposed you could be gracious on your birthday. 

“I thought Borug didn’t have any money left after getting his car.” You questioned innocently, knowing Borug had to beg for a downpayment on his favorite car and a raise from his dad so he could afford the payments because he didn’t have the money saved because he had blown it in Vegas the month before clubbing with Korryn who had invited herself to some tech expo his dad’s company was attending and if you were a betting woman, Borug also got his parents to buy him a condo too because the shame of having a peer, that peer being Kihro, be farther in life than him- was too much for Borug to bear. 

Borug was very competitive and had a huge chip on his shoulder and was incredibly entitiled and an ego that you were positive your house was too small to contain it. But he hadn’t always been like that, as a kid he was awkward just like you. And in the classes that you didn’t share with Kihro, you had shared with Borug. He was also quite popular in school, part of the preppy jock group because he played sports too. But he was always nice and friendly to you at least. 

Borug was the eldest son of a man who owned one of the biggest tech companies in the Great Lakes and was always at the home shows for their tech and home security systems and his dad was part of the Business Owners Association, which your dad was also a part of and you had grown up seeing him a lot at the home shows and Association meetings that you had made snacks for that he helped you with when you were younger but once he was ‘old enough’ to be in the meetings himself with his dad, that stopped. 

Almost immediately after Kihro asked you out, Borug asked Korryn out, Korryn had a huge bosom, like each boob was the size of a basketball kind of big bosomed and she had a belly which for orcs, they usually loved fuller figured women so that wasn’t surprising but she had no ass and a richer yet smaller family who lived on Laken Lake which was a lake known for its lavish lake houses, speed boats and water sports while your family lived off of one of the Trinity Lakes that all connected together to form a three lobed lake, which were better for fishing and your family were avid fishers, a pastime you and Kihro enjoyed a lot together. Especially when he would help clean the catch and had a way of frying the fish that was amazing. 

However, something that you didn’t know was once Kihro had asked you out, he literally passed Borug who was also on his way to ask you out, he had even strutted accross the lunchroom but neither you or Kihro had noticed. When Borug had been passed by Kihro and saw Kihro sit at your table, he sat down at the next table over and eavesdropped and once Kihro asked you out to the dance and you accepted and especially once you kissed Kihro, he knew he didn’t stand a chance right then and so he had asked Korryn out to the dance after school since she had a different lunch time. 

It was only supposed to be until Kihro crashed and burned and Borug was supposed to come in and scoop you up and save the day and she was, according to a mutual friend, was just a right now girl. But Korryn hadn’t been happy with that and had insisted that they be an item since Borug’s plan was to treat Korryn the way he wanted to treat you, which ended up being an invitation to a super fancy restaurant that he was sure Kihro would have a hard time paying for and of course lavish Korryn with a gown and the “star treatment” which she had no problems taking absolute advantage of. But the problem was- was you had gotten another flair and hadn’t gone to the fall formal because you were in the hospital so you didn’t witness any of that except through Korryn’s social network feed on Grace’s phone because you weren’t friends with her on any social media which you could care less about. 

And of course by winter formal Korryn’s claws and hooks were fully embedded into Borug as she pushed them to be this picture perfect couple and Borug could only wait until Kihro would fail to jump through a hoop but every one Kihro jumped through with ease and to see you and Kihro be together so naturally and effortlessly and especially so happily, made his gut sour because while him and Korryn looked great on camera, the moments between the camera flashes were awful. Between her difficult and demanding personality, emotional immaturity, nonexistent life skills and zero work ethic coupled with piss poor money management along with her inability to compromise because she had been catered to by her parents and her other friends her whole life- the relationship was incredibly strained. He was stuck with a girl who pushed him to spend all his money on a “lifestyle” and expensive lavish gifts on her and it was something he couldn’t hope to support long term. And the barely mediocre sex he got from her wasn’t worth it but with her being the popular girl, no other girl would go near him for fear of Korryn’s retaliation socially. He literally got a big pair of tits. That was the only positive in that relationship for him. And Korryn was constantly spewing his personal business and every argument he ever got into with her, she told EVERYONE so that she could get “everyone” on her side. 

Meanwhile you had taken her behavior as notes about how not to act as Kihro was eternally grateful for it and every time Borug would complain to their mutual friends, Kihro would simply sit back and smirk that at least his girl didn’t do that shit and if anything, it gave Kihro the assurance that he had made the right decision by asking you out and doing everything in his power to keep you happy and content, if not sated the best ways he could, basically through his mouth and his hands because regular sex wasn’t allowed. Yet anyway. 

While you were open to a degree to your parents about the relationship because you had witnessed how your friends had kept some dangerous secrets from their parents and how that had not ended well at all, so much so that you kept your parents in the loop and were honest with them, so much so that they trusted you more and gave you freedoms that your friends couldn’t even dream of, freedoms that you wisely did not abuse. 

At the same time, you were also very discrete to everyone else- so that on the rare occasion where you two argued, he made sure to never escalate anything so that the two of you could talk it out and come to either an agreement or a compromise and no one ever heard anything about it, to the point that no one knew you had the disagreement in the first place except or your parents when you had simply mentioned it after the fact which impressed your parents and his. You urged him to stick to his budget and not splurge on anything but that if he needed to buy anything, to invest in quality and only buy something once and were just in general, a sweet, supportive girlfriend while he did his best to be as helpful, supportive, gentle and affectionate as he could be. You two got along like you had been together for years and asking you to a dance and dating you had been the best decision of Kihro’s life as well as yours. He had already spent his fair share of sleepless nights in the ER with you because it was important to him and to your parents to really see you at your worst physically and you wanted him to go into a relationship with you with his own eyes wide open.  

By now though, he had gotten you over a dozen beads that you were sure would pull your hair out if you tried wearing them all at the same time but instead you got them on a necklace that you never took off and that you guarded with your life, except for the gold promise ring/ engagement bead, that never left your hair. 

Once your hair was done you practically bolted out of your room to go downstairs to see Kihro, leaving your friends laughing as they followed you downstairs as they watched you having to hug your way through everyone who wanted to wish you a happy birthday and congratulations before you finally managed to get outside before you were swarmed by all your uncles and cousins before you finally got to your dad then Kihro before you glued yourself to his side. 

“So? How’s the beer?” You asked Kihro giddily. Hoping that he got to get his favorite at least. 

“Delicious.” Kihro praised as he offered you the cup to sip it, which you did, a tiny one. It was dark and intense but for the beer connoisseurs, very good because it was a Dragon’s Milk in a seasonal marshmallow and dark chocolate flavor. 

“It’s definitely beer.” You giggled as you handed it back and shuddered before you comically looked down your shirt. 

“Ok, so it isn’t replacing my boobs with chest hair immediately, that’s good.” You teased which got everyone to bust out laughing as Kihro nearly spit out his beer laughing himself. 

“Would you still love me with chest hair Babe?” You teased Kihro who comically grimaced. 

“Sure.” Kihro sarcastically agreed as he pretended to dodge the question and drink more beer which made you laugh as you noticed Tysh give her crush Akhi a beer and judging by the hopeful smile she gave him, she was trying to catch his eye, and judging by the way he bashfully took it from her, he liked her too but you knew Akhi was more shy than Kihro ever was and Tysh was one of your prettier friends before you noticed Korryn zero in on Borug and practically plastered herself on him and kissed him, which was a sloppy open mouthed kiss and you noticed how Borug actually sagged his shoulders in defeat and winced at being yanked down to her level as she pulled his hands to hold her before you looked back at Kihro and lowkey pretended to gag as Kihro watched Borug with amused pity before he turned to you and nearly spit out his beer again snickering a laugh at your reaction like it was the greatest inside joke as he rubbed soothing circles into your back and was grateful your arm was looped around his lower back before he sweetly kissed the crown of your head which made your dad grin at your discrete PDA as Borug’s dad gave Korryn the side eye because he didn’t approve of Korryn at all. He knew a gold digger when he saw one and felt his son could do so much better and was almost to the point of bribing his son to dump her for good because the two fought almost all the time. 

“So how’s massage school?” Borug’s dad Draig asked you. 

“Going great. Getting A’s.” You beamed. 

“Getting proposed to every time she’s in the clinic.” Your dad revealed. 

“Oh really?” Draig blinked but grinned. 

“They’re not serious proposals, they’re all joking.” You clarified.

“But you have to be pretty good if they’re offering, all joking aside.” Draig countered. 

 “Ok so I’m known as Big Touch. Because I have little hands but a big touch because I’m heavy handed and they expect the other orc girls who are strong enough to deliver that kind of touch but so far they’re softer handed than I am. So when the clients ask for deep tissue and firm pressure, they expect one of the other girls to come out to meet them and when they see me they always laugh, not believing I’m Big Touch. But about five minutes into the session they find out real quick I’m the real deal, and about 10 minutes in they drop the “tough guy act” and ask me to ease up and by the end of the session they’re believers and try to get rebooked with me. And as it stands I’m booked out until August and I should have all my clinic hours in by then.” You explained. 

“And he’s cool with you working on other guys?” Draig questioned you with a look at Kihro who simply grinned proudly. 

“Yeah, of course, because she’s a professional and if they can’t respect her and the profession they have no business being her clients and she doesn’t need their business if they step out of line and she has no qualms about dismissing anyone. She already has five job offers and her clientele list that is following her from the clinic to wherever she decides to go is already several pages long. She doesn’t need my ego or my possessive jealousy holding her back from making bank because she can stand to make just as much as I do if not more which I don’t have any problem with at all. It would be like her being so jealous she won’t let me do my job when there’s only a married housewife at home without her husband right?” Kirho defended as your love for him was oozing out of every pore on your body as you beamed a bright happy and appreciative smile at Kihro while your dad, all your ungles and Kidron beamed happily themselves while Draig couldn’t argue with that while Borug outright pouted. Because while he wasn’t wild about Korryn, he totally was jealous of every guy who commented on her instagram pictures complimenting her massive cleavage but wanted to get into fights with everyone who called her “butterface” which you thought was hilarious. 

“So Korryn told me that you got a new condo is that right Borug?” You asked Borug, shifting the attention over to him as you looked from him to Draig who’s shoulders dropped. 

“Yup, it’s at The Glen. Just signed the papers yesterday.” Borug boasted. The Glen was a brand new condo complex that was about 20 minutes away and many of the young people who’s parent’s lived on Laken Lake were snatching up condos there like crazy. 

“So that means we need to go furniture shopping Baby.” Korryn cooed excitedly and you had never seen Borug force a smile so hard before. You actually felt sorry for him. But it wasn’t your business or a problem you should ever try to fix. You could only stand back and watch to see what happened and hoped that they both wouldn’t fight during your party. 

“And how much did that cost you?” Your dad murmured to Draig. 

“Too much.” Draig muttered back. 

“What about you Kihro? Haven’t you been apartment shopping for like half a year?” Borug jabbed. 

“I have, haven’t found the right place yet.” Kihro just shook his head no with a smug smirk because he overheard your dad from his spot. 

“Cause you’re too picky?” Korryn snidely instigated with a smile that you wanted to slap off her face. 

“Well being “picky” can be a good thing. Brie needs special accommodations because with her business, some of her clients are going to be using walkers and wheelchairs and they can’t do stairs and even if she works for another outfit, I’m sure she’ll still do her own thing on the side and I have to be mindful of that. Plus I need a place close to the hospital because of her health and I need a place to accommodate her pets and mine.” Kihro just started to list off as your mom came out to let everyone know that things were ready for the party to go into full swing. 

“Aww, well that’s because you’re so sweet and thoughtful Kihro.” Your mother praised which got a grateful smile from Kihro and you. 

“Party’s ready when you are Brie.” Your mother informed you. 

“Sweet, how are the hogs Mr. Terry?” You asked the pit master from his spot in front of the portable pits. 

“Been ready Sweetie.” He called back. 

“Well then lets do this.” You instigated before the party got into full swing and you pigged out on all the food and got to dance, Kihro never leaving your side for a moment before you were urged to open your gifts and of course you not only had your little sisters to help while Grace was your recorder and even had Kihro’s little siblings help you which Kihro loved and adored that you made an effort to include them and were sweet and nice to them. 

You got all kinds of massage tools and your aunts Sally and Marry, (married to Larry and Gary respectively) hand made you flaxseed pillows to use in your practice and had gone to the fabric store to pick out all this pure cotton fabric in all these patterns they knew you would like and together they got their sewing machines out and had sewn you over a dozen of them in all these different sizes and a few different styles and you nearly cried because you knew this was a labor of love. 

Your parents of course had gotten you your ideal massage table and a new car, which meant your current one got to be a hand me down to Grace as an early sweet 16 which she was thrilled with while Draig and his family had gotten you the best massage table on the market along with a damn tool box with all kinds of massage tools, the table itself was fully electric and had all kinds of extra bells and whistles and it made your jaw drop, it had taken Borug, Draig, Kihro and all of Kihro’s friends to carry it since it was very heavy. You got all kinds of gifts from everyone while your sisters and Kihro’s younger siblings had all gotten orders from Kihro and your parents to make sure you opened Kihro’s gifts last and when it came to the last few gifts, the first gift from Kihro was a small box and in the box was a coconut half. 

“What is that? Half a coconut bra?” Korryn sneered. 

“You would need four of those.” Borug laughed as he made to grab her boob but she shifted away so he couldn’t. “Tease.” Borug teased with his nose in her ear, making her shudder and turn back to him. 

But instead you looked at it and immediately knew what it was. 

“Oh no way, you didn’t.” You started laughing at Kihro who was sitting down front and center as you looked it over. 

“What is it?” Your mom asked. 

“It’s a coconut hide for a reptile mom.” You informed her. 

“Ew!” Korryn complained before you handed a second box. And once you took the paper off, it was a reptile shipping box which made you squeal in excitement before you got your pocket knife out and opened it as your brother Gavin was instantly much more interested as he scooted his chair really close to you. 

“Oh you got Gavin’s attention really fast.” Your dad laughed as you had Gavin sit right next to you. 

“What do you think it is?” You asked Gavin.  

“It better be either a snake or a gecko.” Gavin insisted because he thought reptiles were awesome and already had a bearded dragon himself and it was something he and Kihro’s younger brother Mohre bonded over. 

“Oh my gods, oh my gods, oh my gods.” You started to chatter excitedly as you opened the box and found a few bags before you opened up the first bag and peeked inside. 

“It’s a snake!” Gavin cheered before you let him peek into the bag too. 

“What kind is it?” Gavin wondered before you pulled it out before you looked in the box to see the different snake cards. 

“That, is an ivory leopard?” You guessed at Kihro who nodded to confirm. 

“Sweet.” Gavin beamed.

“Aren’t you just gorgeous!” You cooed to the snake. 

“What else did he get you?” He asked as he eagerly. “I’ll hold that, you need two hands to open the others.” He insisted as he held out his hands to take it from you before you handed it over before you looked in the other bags. 

“Oooh, this must be the pastel super coral glow, hello sweetie.” You cooed as you got the snake out of the bag before you passed it over to Gavin who held the other snake in his hand before you got to the last one. 

“And this is a crystal ball!” You cheered when you got them out. 

“Thank you Babe, I love them. Now I just gotta get some tubs or something.” You realized before looking back over at the giant box left by the gift table before you looked at the smug grin on Kihro’s face. 

“You got me a rack system didn’t you.” You playfully accused Kihro before you wrapped the crystal ball around your neck to hang out as you opened up the box and found it was indeed a rack system. 

“Thank you so much Baby.” You cooed to him as you came over and kissed him, the crystal ball sticking it’s head out to sniff Kihro. 

“You’re welcome.” Kihro cooed back. 

“What are you gonna name them?” Your sister Ari asked as she got the super coral glow from Gavin. 

“I don’t know, I’ll take suggestions.” You answered before your sisters went to the office and got a pad of paper and decided to take a poll to what to call the snakes into a basket. 

“How about we go set this up so these precious babies can rest.” You urged Kihro before he and his friends got up and picked up the box and the other gifts and carried them up the stairs while everyone went back to party and you simply sat on the bed with your brother and your little sister, each of you holding a snake as you watched proudly as Kihro and his friends got to work setting up the rack system and getting everything ready and to you in that moment, Kihro couldn’t get any sexier. 

You knew he wasn’t perfect but the gods be damned you couldn’t see any flaws at this moment. Here he was sitting down on the floor, reading the manual and putting it together accordingly and a screw driver in his hand and he might as well have been naked with a dozen roses posing on a bed because you could feel the wetness squish between your legs. You wanted to fuck his brains out is what you wanted to do. But you had to admit that what you wanted more than snakes for your birthday was his own independence but it had not been the time or the place earlier to ask him about it. You waited patiently as Kihro put it together and all his friends made sure each tub was ready to go before you put the snakes away in their new homes. 

“Guys, could you give us a moment please?” You requested to his friends once they were done before everyone else left as the snakes settled into their new homes.  

“What’s wrong?” Kihro asked as he read your face and body language. 

“I don’t want to be ungrateful or anything. But I would have been happier if you had used all the money that you spent on all this getting an apartment.” You answered before you peeked up at him and saw him beam another proud smile at you. 

“Brie, why do you think I got a rack system capable of housing 12 to 40 snakes when you only have three and I only have three?” He questioned. 

“Because ball pythons can become an addictive hobby?” You guessed. 

“That’s true but, because I knew that if I got you this, it would give me a moment to privately give you these.” He said as he reached into his pocket and gave you two business cards. 

One was a bank manager’s business card with an appointment time written on it for Monday and the second was a realtor’s business card. 

“What?” You breathed as you looked at the two as you realized what the implications of these were. “Wait, are you getting preapproved for a home loan?” You asked as your heart started to race. 

“We are.” Kihro corrected. 

“We?” You repeated as a bright smile soon bloomed on your face before you squealed and leaped into his arms and was happy when he caught you and held you up so you could kiss him. 

“Why didn’t you give me these as my present?!” You asked. 

“I didn’t want to embarrass you, just in case, I know we both like to keep our private affairs private.” Kihro answered. 

“Well with the present company, that would probably be wise.” You laughed with a pointed look at Korryn’s things she had left in your room. “That was very kind and thoughtful of you. Thank you.” You thanked him. 

“And I don’t think the bank will approve it if you don’t have this.” He said as he carried you over to your chair and sat down with you still in his arms before he dug into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring, a mermaid sapphire one and you were instantly crying tears of happiness as he put it on before he produced another gold bead for your hair, a larger one but the same style as the first as you sat there and happily waited for him to add it to the other in your hair. 

“How do I look?” You asked when he was finished as wiped at the streaking mascara under your eyes but your smile shamed the sun. 

“Beautiful.” He whispered before he framed your face and kissed you earnestly and you melted in his lap and returned the impassioned kiss. 

“Pack a bag, I’m taking you on a trip this weekend, after the party.” He urged. 

“What?” You laughed in surprise. 

“Before we actually tie the knot and get married, I want to make sure I can fit in my bride.” Kihro explained as he palmed your belly but reached under you to sensually rub at your center. 

“Uh, I don’t know if..” You began to counter as your cheeks flushed even though in that moment you didn’t want anything more. 

“Your dad already gave me the go ahead, no more chaperones, no more hoops, we can just be together and the only clause was that I didn’t knock you up, so as long as we can be safe about it, we don’t have to hold back anymore.” Kihro explained as you were ready start immediately. But instead you kissed him before you practically leaped off of him to grab a bag and started stuffing enough clothes to get you through the weekend and an outfit for the appointment on Monday, you wanted to look as professional and mature as possible. 

“Ok, let’s send everyone home, I’m ready to go.” You insisted which made him laugh. 

“Easy horndog. The night is still young, we have plenty of time, we’re not going that far.” He assured you.

“But I am going to put this in the truck.” He explained as he took his bag and you left your room with your hand still intertwined with his before your mother was already at the base of the stairs which prompted Kihro to leave your bag at the top of the stairs because he could sense you were about to be swarmed. 

“And?” She asked excitedly since your dad had clued her in before Kihro brought your intertwined hands up to show off the engagement ring before she squealed and as soon as the people around saw the ring, word spread like wildfire though the party and Korryn turned a few shades greener as she looked at your engagement ring before she looked expectantly at Borug as if he had been secretly keeping one for her in his pocket and you were too happy to recieve congratulations from everyone else to notice how Draig gave Borug a warning glare with a pointed look in Korryn’s direction but Kihro caught it as did everyone else apparently as your dad nearly died laughing but happily hugged you tight. 

“You sure it’s ok?” You whispered in his ear.

“Yup, as long as this is what you want, I’ll support you no matter what.” Your dad reassured you before he kissed your cheek affectionately. 

“Thank you, I love you so much Dad.” You told him before you let go and received all the other congratulations from everyone else and if you had thought the party was in full swing before, now it really was. You danced until you felt your feet were going to fall off, you ate until you were stuffed and drank until you were just a little tipsy but so happy and at peace. 

And once most of the party guests finally left, you left too with Kihro. Granted his truck wasn’t nearly as nice as Borug’s sports car. It was still all Kihro’s and you didn’t worry about a thing as you sat next to him and held his hand when he wasn’t shifting gears. You didn’t care where you were going, he could drive on for forever. He drove until he came to a beach house in South Haven which was only half an hour away. 

“What is this place?” You asked curiously as you got out of the truck and looked up at it. 

“An airbnb.” He beamed as he got your bags and his and entered the code on the door to be let in. He had actually spent his morning getting this place ready because he was hopeful that your dad would say yes and he had packed the fridge with enough food to get you through the weekend and your parents had packed you enough leftovers to also get you through too. 

“Home away from home for the weekend.” He said as he managed to pick you up and carry you over the threshold which cracked you up. 

“How in the world were you able to afford all of this?” You wondered as he put you down and the bags down on the other side.  

“Well actually Borug and I had the same amount in savings when we both asked out our girls and so far in the six months he’s dated Korryn, she’s bled him dry while my savings has done nothing but go up even though I’ve been beading you well and the snake thing was something I was going to do either way and since you love it as much as I do- I might as well make it a couple thing, something we can do and enjoy together. Plus even when your health is bad and you can’t physically manage to give massages, this can be a backup for us.” He explained. 

“And even if we don’t make any money with the snakes. They’re still pets to add to our menagerie because honestly, finding an apartment that checks all the boxes we need it to is slim. But a house- we’ll get much farther with a house and the market is pretty big and open right now.” He explained. “Besides if I had gotten an apartment right when we got together, I would be six months of rent poorer and while the house we could get won’t be as nice as a condo…” Kihro began. 

“Oh my gods, I can not begin to tell you how much I don’t want a condo just on the off chance that Borug and Korryn would feel entitled to come over since they’re “neighbors”. No, hell no.” You interrupted him which got him to bust out laughing. 

“Ok, we’re in agreement on that.” He beamed. 

“Let’s get something we can both manage but we can make it our own. It doesn’t have to be brand new, we don’t even have to get something custom, not now, not ever because we had enough headaches with our current house as it is. It would be nice to get something just semi nice- functional, something that we don’t have to bulldoze and start from scratch, but not a money pit either. But something with space, obviously a garage for the work truck and a yard big enough for Kelly that is either fenced in or we can fence it in and we can make it ours over time, it doesn’t have to be picture perfect for me to move in, I can work with anything. And if we’re doing this together, let’s do this together all the way, I absolutely insist on adding my savings to yours for this and all the money I just got from graduation which I know you took all of yours and added it to your savings. I just had the birthday party to end all birthday parties and a graduation party to end all others and we don’t need a wedding to end all weddings ok? No need to go into unnecessary debt, let’s just get preapproved for a home loan and small equity loan for some modest home improvements that we can do ourselves over time so we can turn whatever house we choose into our home.” You urged him and noticed he nodded along with everything you said so you could tell you were both on the same page. 

“So suburbs.” Kihro gathered. 

“Yeah basically.” You nodded. 

“Awesome, I’m happy we’re in agreement about this because everything you just said is what I was thinking and planning anyway. So, want to get naked?” He asked which made you laugh. 

“Hell yeah! I’d thought you would never ask Baby.” You giggled before he picked you back up and put you over his shoulder and grabbed your bags and started going up the stairs as you cackled from your place over his shoulder. 

“Woo! Conquer me Baby!” You cheered which made him laugh before he playfully bit your ass with a flirtatious growl which made you squeal even more before he got to the bedroom and let you drop onto the bed before you bounced, laughing so hard your ribs hurt. 

But your laughing died down to giggles as you sat up and watched Kihro strip his shirt off before he stalked up the bed towards you, your legs were already splayed for him, your wetness soaking through your shorts so there was a wet spot over your core and when he got on all fours over you- you greedily pulled him to you to kiss your nerves away as his weight settled over you as you let that comfort you. The feel of his surprisingly soft but supremely warm skin over his hard, sculpted body was lighting you up just as much as his hands stroking your soft sides from lifting your shirt. His hands, although rougher from callouses from years of hard work, yet there was a supreme gentle reverence in his touch. Like you were a precious gem he was caressing. Like you were his greatest treasure. You couldn’t feel any safer or more comfortable than in his embrace. 

Yet you were so relieved when Kihro slowed down and just laid over you and kissed you until all the tension in your body melted away and when Kihro started kissing your neck and chest, you were itching to get out of your clothes and feel all of his skin against all of yours as you started tugging on your shorts to get them off and that seemed to be what Kihro was looking for before he lifted himself up on his elbows to give you room to remove them and your underwear as he took that cue to take his own pants off and you could only giggle like a loon to see his cock straining in his boxers as you palmed it and started stroking it as you started to lavish open mouthed kisses to his chest and neck as his touch got a little firmer and deliciously needy before he helped you out of your bra. 

“There’s my friends.” Kihro practically giggled once your boobs were free from their constraints before he grabbed them and started kneading them before he started sucking on them as you threaded your fingers through his hair and pulled him closer before he moved one hand to your center and delved in which made you moan and throw your head back. 

Before this was as far as you could go. But now, instead of only getting your feet wet as the waves caressed them and staring at the water, now you could jump right in. You eagerly pulled the covers down and moved the two of you to between the covers before you greedily got him over you and between your legs and it took a little bit of work getting the head in because it was softer and squishier than the rest of the shaft and once it was in you both blew out a shaky breath of relief which got you both to laugh a little breathlessly and with a good and gentle push, your maidenhood gave way but he was in, it was a tight fit, but he fit and you felt your prayers and his were answered and Kihro made sure you were as comfortable as possible for every bit of it and made sure you were ok and made sure that you wanted this and was ready to pull out, literally- at any moment. But you stuck your heels behind his legs and locked him in because you didn’t want him going anywhere but farther in. 

“We made it this far, come on Baby, take me all the way home.” You insisted before he looked at you so softly. 

“I’m already home with you.” He murmured as he pressed his forehead to yours. 

“Me too.” You whispered as you shared a breath with him as he started to ease in and out as the pain lessoned and morphed into pleasure and the more relaxed and turned on you got the more your canal opened up and the easier it was but at the same time you could tell Kihro was officially on a slippery slope because while you could tell he was bound and determined to get you to cum before he did but you could tell he was fighting his own release as if it was a mighty foe. 

“Baby, get a condom on before you lose your load.” You urged. 

“No, I can...I can last.” He tried to insist as he rested his head on the pillow next to your head as you kegalled and constricted around him as you grinded against him with a meaningful look that said ‘Are you sure about that?’

“Oh fuck, yeah, ok, ok, ok.” Kihro caved as he pulled out and rolled over so he could get into the drawer where he stashed a box of condoms and he had spent last night trying to find the ones that would fit him best and once he was protected you got on and started to ride him and he just stared up at you in awe wonder. 

“You are the greatest vision my eyes will ever see.” Kihro professed and your heart melted. 

��Aww, likewise, I can’t wait to live the rest of my life with you and I don’t care where we live or what we do as long as we’re together doing it.” You mirrored as a few happy tears came to your eyes. “I’m just so happy that you’re mine.” You confessed before he sat up and cradled you in his arms. 

“I’m always going to be yours.” Kihro vowed. “Just like you are always going to be mine as long as you want to be.” Kihro added. 

“I wouldn’t worry about me ever changing my mind if I were you.” You reassured him. “You’re stuck with me.” You giggled. “As long as you want to be.” You added as you bit your lip. 

“I’ll always want to Baby,” he purred before he kissed you and nibbled on your lip because seeing you bite it only made him want to nibble on it himself which made you giggle. 

“You and your lip fetish.” You teased. 

“Not just any lips, your lips, all your lips.” He practically growled which made you squeal in delight as he hiked his hips up with more power that nearly knocked the air out of your lungs but made a moan spill from your kiss swollen lips. 

You let your instincts take control and before you knew it you were so close you recognized the home stretch and by now Kihro had flipped you over and was pounding into you as your body was tensing from the extreme pleasure Kihro was giving you and then with one last push, you were falling into bliss just as Kihro was stuffing that condom full as he slammed into you so deep you felt the head run into the top of your cervix as his fingers dug into the softness of his hips as his growling roar of completion was the most amazing sound and helped amplify your own orgasm. 

“Wow,” you breathed as you basked in the afterglow as Kihro rested over you and caught his breath. 

“Uh huh, wow, well worth the wait, damn baby, that was the best...just...the best...most amazing, you’re so amazing, holy shit that was mind blowing.” Kihro gushed as he cuddled with you and kissed you all over. “Thank you, thank you, thank you for the best sex of my life.” He thanked you which made you crack up. 

“Best sex of our lives so far.” You giggled because truth was Kihro was every bit of a virgin that you were. 

“That’s true.” Kihro conceded before he kissed you before he pulled away and a huge load of semen was ballooning out at the head which made you both giggle. 

“Been saving that for me huh?” You gently teased as he pulled away and very carefully took it off before he tied it off and threw it away and got cleaned up and got you cleaned up. 

“I’m sorry if I hurt you Babe,” he cooed as he helped clean you up. 

“That pleasure was definitely worth the little bit of pain and discomfort, it’s only going to get better from here.” You reassured him before you both got ready for bed and finally got a chance to sleep together in the purest sense. 

When you woke up, you had some amazing morning sex before you made breakfast together, being ever so grateful that Kihro could cook and not just cook but clean up after himself before you walked to the rest of the beach and just talked about everything under the sun and made all kinds of plans before you went back and decided to open all your cards that you had gotten that your parents had dumped into a bag for you as Kihro wrote down who gave what for the purpose of writing thank you cards as you counted up the money and gift cards and come Monday morning, you deposited all that you could and got a bank balance at your bank so that you could take that to Kihro’s bank and to your surprise, your parents and Kihro’s parents met you there for the purpose of co-signing, you knew that Kihro’s parents would co-sign but to have your parents also cosign meant a lot to you that they would give you this kind of support. 

Now the hard parts- finding a house and planning a wedding. 

[hogncracklin1]

Indulge in the savory delight of hog roasts near you! Hog N Cracklin brings you an unmatched culinary experience with our expertly prepared hog roasts. Experience the taste of excellence at Hog N Cracklin for an unforgettable gastronomic journey.

[thefatpigbbquk]

Contact Us

The Fat Pig Co UK Ltd

Hog Roast, Wedding Hog Roasts, and Hog Roast Machine Hire 

55 College Green, 

Yeovil, United Kingdom

+44 7588 773840

ashley@thefatpig.co.uk

[a-deep-ocean-of-secrets]

Whale You Be Mine?

Steve was a sweaty mess after his usual morning jog. Ten miles in under 30 minutes was a credible feat to be sure. With the sweat clinging to his skin and his hair matted down with moisture, it wasn’t surprising that his feet carried him to his bathroom.

He turned on the water in the shower and as it heated up quickly divested himself of his tight running gear. His shirt was chucked into the corner, his track pants pooling into a pile near the door, and his shoes loitering out in the hallway.

When the water was near scalding and steam fogging up the mirror, the super-soldier stepped into the glass shower and nearly groaned aloud as the hot water cascaded down the planes of his body. Hot water truly was one of the world’s greatest inventions. It definitely beat bathing in dirty water as he had done as a boy in Brooklyn.

Taking his sweet time, it wasn’t until the water was lukewarm that he finally turned it off and stepped out of the shower, water dripping off of him as he reached for the nearest towel. He pulled it off the rack and almost didn’t notice when a pink sticky note fell out of it.

Raising an eyebrow in confusion, Steve wrapped the towel around his waist before reaching down and plucking up the crinkled paper off the floor. His wet fingers smudged the ink as he held it up to stare at its contents.

Loopy handwriting greeted his eyes with curving w’s and hearts as the dots over i’s.

What do farmers give to their wives on Valentine's Day? Hogs and kisses!

Doodled in the corner of the sticky note was a rudimental pig with lipstick on its face and thought bubbles above its head saying ‘oink-oink!’

“Huh,” Steve murmured to himself as he re-read the joke. Sam must have snuck in and planted it as some kind of joke. Sam was weird like that. Shaking his head, he placed the note down on the counter and ventured into his room to get dressed.

+++

Steve had entirely forgotten about the little holiday humor by the time he was heading to the communal kitchen that served all of the Avengers. He immediately frowned as he entered the sleek kitchen only to find that whoever had drank the last of the coffee had failed to put on another pot.

Loudly sighing, the super-soldier went about doing the task himself. Honestly, sometimes he felt like he was living with a bunch of heathens. Who would dare drink the last of the coffee without preparing another pot? Sadists, that’s who.

Steve was full out grumbling by the time the coffee was roasting, its heady scent wafting throughout the kitchen. He went to the cupboards to pull out his favorite coffee mug. It proudly stated on it, ‘kale is for assholes.’ Natasha had given it to him last Christmas. He loved it and completely agreed with its message. He didn’t trust anyone who willingly ate kale.

His brows furrowed as he saw another bright, pink sticky note clinging to the porcelain mug. Cautiously, he tugged it off the cup and brought it closer to his face. Scrawled at the top of the paper was a little boat, its triangular sail had a heart drawn on it. Beneath it was the same handwriting from before.

What did one boat say to the other? Are you up for a little row-mance?

Against his own will he let out a little snort at the pun. Whoever was doing this at least had a sense of humor to them. But who was doing this? And why?

He was pulled from his thoughts when the coffee machine beeped, informing him that the new pot was ready to go. He tucked the sticky note into his pocket and quickly filled his mug with hot coffee.

He’d think better with caffeine. 

+++

Once is an accident. Twice is a coincidence. Three times is an enemy action. Steve couldn’t help but think this when he entered his office to find something foreign awaiting him at his desk.

Sitting innocently on the desk was a bag of macadamia nuts. Steve’s favorite. He was instantly suspicious as he surveyed them.

Of course, stuck right to them, was another sticky note. Okay, Steve was now officially intrigued by this odd turn of events. He set down his half-empty mug of coffee on the desk, plopped down in his desk chair, and pulled the bag closer to him. He plucked up the note and quickly read it.

What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? Forget-me-nuts.

It seemed that his secret ‘admirer’ of sorts thought themselves a comedian. While Sam was always dedicated to a good prank this didn’t seem his style, and Steve had seen his handwriting before, it was nowhere near as lovely as this.

Natasha was a fan of puns and of making Steve uncomfortable. It could be her though Steve would expect her jokes to be more of the R-rated kind. The kind that would have Steve blushing like a school girl.

These jokes were…cute, in a dorky kind of way. Wholesome. Sweet. Like whoever wrote them was trying to get a smile out of Steve.

This was a mystery Steve was intent on figuring out. But not on an empty stomach. He ripped open the bag of macadamia nuts and munched happily on them as he pondered the identity of this mysterious note giver. 

+++

Steve discovered more of them throughout the day.

On the back of his shield. What did the Valentine's Day card say to the stamp? Stick with me and you'll go places.

Attached to his cell phone. What did the girl cat say to the boy cat on Valentine’s Day? You’re purrr-fect for me.

Buried in his underwear drawer. Where do all the hamburgers take their girlfriends on Valentine’s Day? To a meatball.

Stuck to the handlebars of his Harley. What did the flame say to his buddies after he fell in love? “I found the perfect match!”

Inside of his wallet. What did one watermelon say to the other on Valentine’s Day? You’re one in a melon!

Each and every time the elusive note giver remained out of reach. Now it was the end of the day and he had nothing to show for his struggles other than a pile of pink sticky notes. He wasn’t about to throw them out. That would just be rude. And they had succeeded in making him smile so he was saving them for a rainy day.

Conceding defeat, he trudged into his bedroom only to be met with a surprising sight. Sharon Carter was standing over his bed as she gently placed down a teddy bear hugging a heart on his pillow. With her back turned toward him she didn’t even notice his presence as he watched her silently.

When he couldn’t help himself, he stepped into the room and pointedly cleared his throat. He had to bite down the grin as he watched her jump in surprise. She whirled around with wide, panicked eyes that didn’t relax at all when she saw him standing there.

“Hi, Sharon,” he greeted, trying to keep the amusement out of his voice as he crossed his arms.

“Hey, Steve,” she weakly waved as she tried to block the teddy bear from his eyesight.

“What brings you to my room?”

She quickly looked around his room as if shocked that she ended up here. “Oh, you know, I made a wrong turn somewhere.”

For a spy, she sure sucked at lying. Or, maybe, she just wasn’t good at lying to him. The thought had him smiling like a schmuck on the inside.

“Uh-huh,” he said slowly as he took several steps closer to her. She was valiantly avoiding his gaze, a pretty blush having spread across her cheeks. It looked like it wasn’t leaving anytime soon. As he neared her he noticed the pink slip of paper crinkled in her fist.

A fissure of warmth spread through him at the thought of knowing exactly who his note giver was.

“May I?” he gently asked. Sharon blushed again but unfolded her fist and let Steve take the sticky note from her. He held it up and read.

Why did the Valentine get arrested? For stealing someone's heart.  

His heart flip-flopped and his breath got caught in his throat. He glanced from the paper to Sharon. She still wasn’t looking at him as she bit down on her lip nervously.

“Are you trying to say that I’ve stolen your heart?” he quietly inquired, completely serious as he realized that this wasn’t a joke or a prank. Sharon hadn’t been trying to get one over him, she had been trying to tell him something all day and he only now realized it. Well, Bucky had always said that he didn’t understand women.

Sharon finally raised her eyes and even though she was still nervous she had enough bravery to still say cheekily, “Well, only because I let you.”

He didn’t try hiding his smile at all as he nodded. “Of course.” He understood how she felt. She had stolen his heart a long time ago.

He dropped the sticky note, letting it flutter to the ground in his wake. He reached out, letting his entire palm cup Sharon’s cheek as his thumb slowly ran over her smooth skin. She instantly leaned into the gesture, eyes slipping shut as the two stood there.

Feeling brave, he leaned in and captured her lips with his own. She melted into him instantly, her body going pliant against his own as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He held her securely, hands clutching at her hips as they stayed there kissing for who knows how long.

He only pulled away when oxygen became a pressing concern. But he stayed in her orbit, the two only inches apart as he leaned his forehead against hers.

Her eyes remained shut as she whispered, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Steve.”

He chuckled lightly as he pressed a quick kiss to the corner of her mouth.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Sharon.”

What a happy Valentine’s Day, indeed.

[willexxmercer]

I Love You a Latte

So I participated in A Very Becho Valentines run by @echo--positivity this year, and got to write a fic for the lovely @pawprinterfanfic!  I really hope you love this modern AU, and Happy Valentines Day to all of Bechokru!

Fic is under the cut and I’ll upload it to AO3 at some point tomorrow.

Summary: Echo didn’t do Valentines Day… until she did.

Echo Mendes didn’t do Valentines Day.

“It’s just another damn day when the stores jack up the prices and men trip over themselves trying to prove that they’re a good enough partner,” she complained, doing her hair up in a ponytail.  Her foster brother sighed.

“Something you have said every year for the past 13 years,” Roan replied dryly, stepping onto his yoga mat.  Echo rolled her eyes and sank to the floor, settling herself in a meditative pose.

“Because it’s true.  Valentines Day sucks,” she said, closing her eyes and breathing in deeply.  She could hear Roan settling in beside her.  Together, the pair went through their yoga routine. It was something they had started the tenth year she had been living with the Azgeda family, during her health craze phase, and they still did it together ten years later, two times a week.  Yoga was one of the few things that relaxed Echo, and she could tell it helped Roan too, especially since his mother passed away two years ago.  The pair were nearly inseparable, except when Roan was in a meeting.

In fact, most people upon meeting them usually assumed they were together.  Echo always laughed at that.  Her and Roan? Hardly likely.  He was her brother, and he always told things to her straight.

“You know, one of these days, E…” Roan murmured as they ended their session, “you are going to meet someone, and you’re finally going to see the value of this holiday.”

“Not likely,” Echo scoffed, turning off the meditative music that had been playing.  “It’ll be a cold day in hell before I see Valentines Day as anything other than what it is – a cash hog for big corporations.”  She rolled up her mat, glancing over at her brother.  “You have fun with Luna, though, mkay?”

Roan chuckled, rolling up his own mat.  “I will.  She’s letting me take her out for a candlelit dinner.  Never thought that would happen,” he said, storing his mat in the closet. Echo grinned.

“Wow, what a good boyfriend you are,” Echo teased him, storing her own mat away before stepping towards the door.  “See you.”

With that, she was gone, out of his apartment and across the street to her place.

= = = = =

Two months later, Echo met Bellamy Blake.  Or rather, re-met him.

While on a coffee run, her usual place was overcrowded so she asked around and found a hole-in-the-wall place around the corner.  Best coffee in town, apparently.  She didn’t care, as long as it was caffeinated.  Inside, there was a single barista behind the counter, standing at an espresso machine while a petite girl stood, waiting. There were no other customers in sight, so Echo was starting to doubt the ‘best place in town’ accolade that had been attached to the place.

“There you go,” the barista said, handing two cups over the counter to the girl.  She smiled and thanked him, a little too excitedly.

“The boys really need this.  Monty’s been up all night and Jasper’s going on maybe 36 hours of no sleep. I’m almost worried about them,” the customer chirped.  The barista laughed, and Echo arched an eyebrow.  He had a curly mop of brown hair on top of his head and a bit of a beard. He was also incredibly familiar to her.

“See you, Bell!” With that, the girl left the shop, the bell over the door jingling, and Echo was alone in the small sitting room with the barista.

“Hey there,” he said, his voice low and yet strangely inviting. There was an easy grin stretched across his face.  Echo nodded, offering a small smile in return.

“Hi.  Could I get… two coffees, black?” she said, stepping up to the counter.  The barista, Bell (a strange name), arched an eyebrow.

“Medium or dark roast?  Or we have vanilla flavoured today, too,” he said, shrugging a shoulder. “And what size?”

Echo blinked.  “Um. Whatever’s the most caffeinated, I guess.  And large,” she replied, digging into her tiny purse for some change.  The barista merely smiled and rang up her order, and she paid for it.

While she waited, he shocked her by speaking more.  “Haven’t seen you in here before.  I know most of the customers that come in here, but you’re a new face.”  Echo blinked again, shrugging.

“My usual place was packed, and someone recommended here. Good location, I guess.  Right by the college,” she replied.  The barista laughed.

“Yeah, we get a few college students in here.  Not too many people know about us, though.  You’re a student?” he asked, handing the two cups of coffee over to her.  Echo took them.

“Yeah.  Well, I go to Polis, uptown.  But my brother works around here, so… here I am,” she replied, glancing around.  “Which reminds me.  Tray?”

He nodded quickly, pulling one out from behind the counter. “Here,” he said, “sorry about that.” Echo nodded politely and turned to leave after placing both cups in the tray.  As she got to the door, she heard him speak again.  “Hey, what was your name again?”

She glanced over her shoulder at him.  “Echo,” she answered with an arched eyebrow.  The barista seemed to do a double take, but she couldn’t be sure.

“Bellamy,” he replied, quickly, before Echo stepped out onto the street with the two coffees, waving back at him over her shoulder.

She got ten paces down the street before it dawned on her, why he had looked so familiar, why he seemed to recognize her name.  She stopped short.

“Crap,” she muttered, nearly losing the tray of coffees as someone bumped into her from behind.  “Yeah, yeah, whatever,” she said, more loudly, to the disgruntled pedestrian, “just go around me!”

= = = = =

“Wait… you’re telling me he tutored you?” Roan asked, from the other treadmill.  Echo groaned, pressing the button to increase the speed on hers.

“Yeah.  And it ended… badly.  It was right when there was that huge mess between Polis and Arcadia.  I just stopped going to his place,” she said, picking up her pace.

“And he definitely recognized you?”

Echo increased the speed again.  “Oh, yes.  Not sure… how he feels, though…”

After that, both fell silent as they finished their runs.

= = = = =

A month later, Echo found her coffee shop crowded again, so she once again sought out that tiny place. It had a strange name, The Dropship, but she figured there was some sort of reference in there.

There were no customers in the shop, just Bellamy behind the counter.  His back was to the door, and he was doing a weird sort of shuffling dance to the jazz music currently playing on the radio as he washed dishes.  Echo walked up to the counter and cleared her throat.

Bellamy turned around quickly, his hands still covered in soap suds.  “Sorry about that—oh, hey.  Echo, right?”

She nodded, glancing down at the counter for a moment. “That’s me.  You really do know your customers, huh?”

“Yeah, like I said, we don’t get too many people in here. And I’m good with remembering faces, too…” he trailed off, and Echo felt a pang of guilt.

“Is that your way of telling me—”

“That I know you’re that Polis student I was tutoring for a while until you stopped showing up?  Yeah.”

Echo bit the inside of her cheek.

“You really do have quite the memory.  That was what, three years ago?” she asked, arching an eyebrow and putting on a stoic face, one that Nia had taught her years ago.

“Two, actually.  But no hard feelings.  I get it was probably weird, trying to come to our side of town… but I would have appreciated some kind of note, or a message, or… something?” Bellamy said. The way he said it didn’t sound accusatory, but Echo still could tell he was hurt.

“Look… if I could make it up to you…” she started, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ears.

“There’s this thing.  At the college.  Kind of a fancy thing.  I could use a date,” he interrupted her.  Her other eyebrow joined its twin.  That was bold and unexpected.  But with the look on his face, she didn’t know how to say no.

“I… sure,” she replied, pulling out a small datebook from her purse, “when is it?”

He eagerly told her the date and time, and she wrote it down.

“And that was two large medium roasts, black, right?” he asked, when she glanced back up.

“Your memory scares me,” she replied dryly.  He laughed.

Damn.  His laugh was contagious.

= = = = =

“Zip me up, will you?”

“Look at my little sister, all dolled up for her date.”

“It’s not a date, it’s a… favour.”

“Right.  And I’m not a CEO of a credit union.”

“Shut up and zip me.”

= = = = =

She had to admit, it was a fun evening.  Echo learned that Bellamy was an Education student at Arcadia, and that he was going to be an English teacher.  It made sense, considering he had tutored her in English.  She in turn revealed to him that she was trying to get her diploma in Public Relations, and he nodded thoughtfully.  She also met a few of his friends, including the girl she had seen at the coffee shop that first day (“I’m Harper!  Second year student, Psychology”) and the two she had been buying coffee for (“That’s Monty and Jasper, they’re taking Chemistry”). There were a few others, including a blonde medical student, and an engineering student who had a lot of questions for her, but by far her most awkward conversation was with a first year Kinesiology student who happened to be Bellamy’s sister.  Echo maintained her composure throughout the evening, sipping at her drink from the open bar, until it seemed that most people had left.

“Thanks for coming,” Bellamy said, sidling up next to her. Echo turned, arching an eyebrow.

“Oh, yeah.  It’s been fun, actually… although I’m not too sure your sister likes me.”

Bellamy shrugged.  “She’s like that with a lot of people.  She’ll warm up to you, though.  She’s actually dating a guy from Polis… do you know Lincoln Woods?”

Echo thought back, trying to remember if she had heard that name before.  “I’m not sure, but with a name like Woods he probably runs close to Lexa’s crowd,” she commented offhand, taking another sip of her drink.  Bellamy nodded thoughtfully.

“He does.  I think, at least,” he replied.  Echo glanced at him.

“So… what now?” she asked.  Bellamy glanced at her, a confused expression on his face.

“How do you mean?”

“I’ve been your fake date for the night, what happens next? Do we get coffee?  Do we go back to not contacting each other?” she elaborated.

Bellamy took a long time to respond.

= = = = =

“Well?  How was your date?”

“I’ll tell you next Wednesday, after the actual date.”

“Well, that’s new.”

“Shut up, Roan.”

= = = = =

Two months passed, and by that point Echo was pretty sure she had a boyfriend.  At least, she saw Bellamy three times a week, and he bought her flowers, and there might have been some hand holding involved.

Roan kept pestering her about meeting him, since she had met Bellamy’s friends, but for some reason Echo was holding off.  She wasn’t sure why, but it just didn’t feel like it was time.

She had plans to meet at his place for a movie, and arrived exactly on time, to a flustered Bellamy.

“Hey… you okay?” she asked as she stepped into the apartment, hanging up her coat.  Bellamy shook his head, closing the door behind her and locking it.

“I haven’t heard from O in a while,” he admitted.  Echo frowned.

“I’m sure everything’s fine,” she said, putting her hand on his shoulder.  “I have an in with Lexa’s crowd, and I haven’t heard anything on that end.  She’s a teenager, they do weird things when they’re in love.”

Bellamy didn’t seem convinced, but Echo slowly guided him to his sofa.  “Look, I’ll look into it.  She’s fine,” she soothed him, rubbing his shoulder in small circles.  They sat like that for a few minutes, him leaning into her touch.  Finally, he sighed.

“I was thinking… Troy tonight?” he asked.  Echo grinned.  They had been working their way through any and all movies that had something to do with Ancient Greece.  Apparently, Bellamy had a secret love.

“Sounds like a plan,” she replied, leaning her head on his shoulder.

They watched the movie with popcorn in a bowl on the coffee table in front of them, and by the end of it Echo was nearly in Bellamy’s lap. She glanced up at him and smiled a lazy smile.

“That was really good,” she murmured.

Later, she wouldn’t be sure who had moved first, but all of a sudden they were kissing each other.  It was soft, and relaxed, nothing like the kisses Echo had had before, but she liked it. Bellamy’s hand was in her hair, and she raised a hand to his cheek, smiling against his lips.

After that, there was a definite shift.  There was no doubt about it now.  Echo definitely had a boyfriend. Each of their dates ended with a kiss and she had even stayed the night at his place a couple of times.

= = = = =

“Your birthday is coming up.”

“Yeah, so?”

“You’re spending it with Bellamy, I’m guessing?”

“Actually, I thought it could be you, Luna, Bell, and me.”

= = = = =

Her birthday was in November.  When Bellamy arrived at her apartment, she ran to the door and greeted him with a kiss, and he held out a balloon with a small box attached to the end.

“Happy Birthday,” he said, beaming.  Echo flushed despite herself and turned around.

“Luna, this is Bellamy,” she announced, glancing at her brother.  The two men had finally met the previous month.  Luna rose from the sofa, walking over and extending a hand.

“It’s nice to finally meet you.  I’ve heard so much about you,” she said, offering a polite smile. Bellamy nodded, shaking her hand.

“The pleasure’s all mine,” he replied, giving a small nod to Roan.  Echo beamed and set the package down with the other two gifts.  Then she walked over to Bellamy and took his hand in both of hers, leaning against him.

Roan and Luna left rather early after dinner and seeing Echo open her presents.

= = = = =

Life continued as normal.  She spent her days at the office, kept her routines with Roan, and saw Bellamy.  At Christmas, Bellamy presented her with a tiny box wrapped in silver paper with a translucent ribbon tied around it, and she had opened it to find a simple teardrop pendent necklace with the letter E engraved on it.  She in turn gave him a collector’s edition of The Odyssey, which had taken her weeks to track down, as well as a mug that had “best teacher ever” written on it along with a cartoon drawing of an apple.

“I love it,” Bellamy had murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to Echo’s lips.  Echo had simply smiled, kissing him back before leaning her head on his shoulder.

“I love you,” she had said, before thinking about it. There had been a long pause, during which Echo had run several scenarios through her head, most of them ending with her walking out of his apartment, before Bellamy finally spoke.

“I love you too,” he had said, kissing the side of her head.

The flames in the fireplace had slowly died down as they curled up against each other, trying to be as close as they could.

= = = = =

“So, I’m… going to ask Luna to marry me on Valentine’s Day.”

“Bold choice.  Cliché, but I guess it’ll do.”

= = = = =

As February 14th approached, Echo grew hesitant.  Despite being happy in her relationship, she still wasn’t fond of Valentine’s Day.  It was just another day to her, and she kept trying to hint to Bellamy that she didn’t want to do anything out of the ordinary.  He seemed to be fine with that, although a conversation with Octavia at one of his college functions suggested otherwise.

“All I’m saying is that Bell’s a romantic guy.  He’s going to want to do something big, it’s just him,” the girl told her.  Echo frowned, shifting uncomfortably.

“I get that, but…” she trailed off.

“Look, I’m not telling you either way, but he’s my brother, and I want to see him happy, and doing big gestures is something that makes him happy,” Octavia said, shrugging.  Then she waved at someone over Echo’s shoulder.

“Sorry, I’ve gotta go.  Haven’t seen Miller in ages,” she said, walking briskly past Echo, leaving her standing in the middle of the hall, biting her lip.

She loved Bellamy, but thirteen years was a long time, and she wasn’t sure if she could unlearn her dislike for the holiday.

= = = = =

“Just talk to him.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“E.  Talk to him.”

“I’m leaving, now.”

“Echo!”

= = = = =

The big day arrived.  Echo woke up to a text message on her phone from Bellamy with several heart emojis and smiled despite herself.  She tapped out a response, adding some hearteye emojis of her own, then rose to prepare her morning protein smoothie.

While she was adding the protein powder, her phone vibrated again.  Echo glanced at it, only to see a message from Roan asking her to check some things at the office for him, since he was going to be busy all day with Luna.  She sighed, finishing her smoothie and grabbing a quick shower before getting dressed and heading out the door.

At the office, there was a note pinned to her computer, telling her that she needed to meet with someone in HR.  With a groan, Echo swept out of her office and down a flight of stairs.

Her meeting lasted all of fifteen minutes, and when she returned to her desk there were tiny cutout hearts all over it.  Echo arched an eyebrow.

“Ilian?” she asked, sticking her head out the door and looking over at the intern.  He glanced over at her.  “Did anyone come into my office?”

Ilian shook his head.  “Not that I saw.  But I did step away for some coffee…”

Echo sighed.  “Thanks,” she said, brushing aside the hearts and getting to work. She had a list of things she needed to do for Roan, and Bellamy was expecting her at 1pm for coffee.  It would be part one of their Valentines Day date, one she had acquiesced to after his famous puppy dog eyes.

At noon, she was just about finished with her list when someone knocked at her door.  “Are you Echo Mendes?” a man asked.  Echo nodded, arching an eyebrow once more.  “I’m supposed to deliver this.”  He handed over a small box.  Echo took it and looked inside.  There was a large cupcake with pink icing and a note pinned to the side of the box. She lifted the note and read it:

“Echo,

I know you didn’t want much for today, but I couldn’t resist.  This cupcake is sweet… just like you.

All my love,

Bellamy”

For the second time that day, she smiled despite herself and set the note aside, picking up the cupcake and nibbling on the frosting. It was delicious, she had to admit.

When it was time to head out for coffee, she left a memo with Ilian to call Ontari if there were any pressing concerns and headed towards the Dropship.  There, she nodded at Murphy, the other, more brazen barista.

“Oh, hey, Echo… Bellamy left this for you,” Murphy said, handing her a note.  Echo frowned, reading it.  Apparently, Bellamy wanted her to meet him at the library instead.  She shrugged, handing the note back to Murphy.

“Oh, and he said to give you this,” Murphy added, handing her a cup.  She sniffed at it.  Hazelnut. Her favourite flavour.  On the side of the cup, in Bellamy’s handwriting, was written “I love you a latte”.

“Dork,” Echo murmured, chuckling as she took a sip.

At the library, Emori the librarian gave her a funny smile and directed her to the back where there was a small table set up with a fake candle in the middle.  Bellamy was sitting there, a copy of The Odyssey in his hands, while a small pile of textbooks was sitting on the edge of the table.

“Oh, hey there,” Bellamy said, rising and setting down his book, “do you recognize this place?”

Echo frowned, glancing around.  Then it hit her.  Reference books to her left, atlases to her right.

“This is where we had our first tutoring session,” she breathed, her eyes falling back on Bellamy.  “How did you—”

“Amazing memory, remember?” he asked, tapping his temple.  Echo laughed, stepping forward and kissing him.

“The cupcake was delicious,” she murmured against his lips, “and the hearts were… thoughtful.”

Bellamy chuckled, low in his throat.  “I’m glad you liked them,” he said, a twinkle in his eye.

The pair spent the hour chatting in the back of the library, then Echo headed back to the office in a considerably better mood than she had been earlier.

On her desk when she returned was a box of chocolates, a vase with a bouquet of roses, and a bottle with a rolled up piece of paper inside.  Confused, she tipped out the paper and unrolled it.  She immediately blushed.

Bellamy had written out a list of no less than 50 reasons why he loved her.

Echo sat in her huge office chair, her legs drawn up to her chest, and read through every single line.  By the end, she wasn’t sure she could smile any more brightly.

= = = = =

That evening, she arrived at Bellamy’s apartment in a red cocktail dress and opened the door with the key he had given her on New Year’s.  The first thing she saw was a whole lot of rose petals.  The second thing she saw was Bellamy, dressed in a full suit and tie, smiling at her.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” he said, extending his arms towards her.  Echo smiled, stepping forward into his embrace, kissing him.

“You really outdid yourself,” she murmured, tucking her head against his shoulder.  There was jazz music playing in the background, and she recognized it as the piece that had been playing in the coffee shop all those months before.  He swayed her back and forth, and they danced to the music.

“I know you said you didn’t want much, but… I really wanted to do this all for you.  It’s our first Valentines Day, and—”

“Bellamy,” Echo cut him off, pulling away and looking at him straight in the eyes.  He gave a noticeable gulp, and her heart went out to him.  “I loved every minute of it… and I love you,” she said, smiling at the twinkle that returned to his eyes, the twinkle she loved so much.  “I’ve never had someone to spend today with, but… you’ve made it so special.”

Bellamy leaned his forehead against hers for a moment, then backed away.  “I have one more thing for you,” he said, grabbing a small box from the coffee table.  Echo froze.  It looked awfully similar to a—

“Don’t worry, it’s not an engagement ring,” Bellamy assured her, holding it out, “even though I kind of… one day, definitely. But this is different.”

Echo opened the box, gasping at the simple silver band inside.  She lifted it out, admiring it from all angles.  Engraved underneath were her initials and Bellamy’s.

“Bell…” she breathed.  He smiled.

“It’s a promise.  One day, I want to make our vows in front of everyone.  But now… I want you to know that I am committed to you,” he said, his voice laced with emotion.  Echo blinked away a tear that rose to her eye.

“I love it,” she said, beaming at him. Bellamy smiled fondly, pulling her towards him and taking the ring from her.  He slipped it on her right hand’s ring finger, meeting her gaze, and kissed her deeply.

As she melted into the kiss, clutching to his lapels, Echo felt like the luckiest woman in the world.

Okay.

Maybe Echo Mendes did do Valentines Day.

[sunshinebbqs1-blog]

Shop for premium quality and innovative designs of brick DIY BBQ kits, top of the range gas BBQs, hog roast machines & other products at low cost from SunshineBBQs.

[hogroastcompany]

The Best Alternative Is Hog Roast Catering

There is as a matter of fact such countless different reasons where hoard broil cooking has tremendously expanded in fame. For such many occasions including dazzling weddings and corporate business occasions this way of catering is turning into the best and most magnificent arrangement.

In addition to the fact that it is energizing, unique and something for the memorable visitors however it is likewise very delicious and delectable empowering visitors to partake in their food. Quite a while back individuals used to enjoy hoard broil however in a more conventional manner, they used to cook their meat either in earth stoves or over hot coal fires.

Today it has been simplified such substantially more for you as there's currently splendid machines accessible for you to one or the other recruit or purchase. These machines empower you to partake in this splendid approach to cooking and eating in any spot you might wish, even in the center of a field on the off chance that you need.

  These machines do significantly more than you might naturally suspect also. They don't just cook pigs you can utilize them to cook so many various meats and connections can likewise be bought close by them to empower you to clandestine into other superb things such a grill or a hot plate. This is perfect as you can cook various things on one machines making it capable for individuals to have a choices of delicious things to browse to eat.

  Around here at Spitting Pig we give genuinely awesome and proficient administrations to you, including the selling of these machines yet additionally we offer incredible providing food administrations for you empowering you to book us for your occasion. As we have been in this business for over twenty years and have turned into a main and deeply grounded organization in this space we can guarantee you that the items and administrations in which we flexible are out and out the best.

On the off chance that you might want to find any more data out about any of out administrations or items go ahead and out site today where we attempt to be all around as valuable as could be expected. Bombing finding the data in this manner you can ring us today where our staff will be all totally glad to assist you with anything you might have to be aware.

For More Info:-

hire hog roast

hog roast catering