#hms delsus mtoni

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1, 11, 17, 23, for Mena/Jaesa?

1. How do they fall asleep? Wake up? Any daily rituals?

In the beginning of their relationship, falling asleep together is a bit of a timid thing. The first time that they slept in the same bed, they weren’t in a relationship yet, and neither of them had admitted their feelings yet, not even really to themselves. They were both surprised by Mena letting Jaesa see her needy and hurting, and neither of them knew quite what to do with what Mena needed. So they wrapped themselves in each other and resisted sleep, because somehow falling asleep together would make it mean something that it didn’t mean if they stayed awake. And when Mena did fall asleep, her walls falling with her, it was so easy for Jaesa to peer into her heart and see the pulsing of feelings simultaneously so big they had nearly ruptured her chest and so compressed down and so small as to be almost invisible. Jaesa woke up without even being aware that she had followed Mena into sleep, but before opening her eyes and coming fully into herself she had the vague thought of always wanting to wake to comforting weight of Mena’s warm body pressed tight against her back, even with her chin spurs biting into Jaesa’s skin. As the relationship progresses, they become a little more natural together, but they tend to fall asleep with one holding the other and resisting drowsiness for as long as they can to watch their lover sleep, and wake in a tangle.

As for rituals, they do morning meditations together (something they’ve done since Jaesa’s first joined the crew; with an awkward pause where they did them separately while they were Definitely Not Starting to Feel A Way About Each Other, no sir). In the evenings, Mena says what sounds like a prayer and makes a small offering at the altar to her mother. She hasn’t yet explained that ritual to Jaesa, but she does let her observe.

11. Do they celebrate holidays? Anniversaries?

Mena observes Sith holidays, and Jaesa celebrates them with her as much as she is able. Jaesa celebrates Alderaanian holidays, and Mena is glad to celebrate them with her. Mena has mixed feelings about treating birthdays as holidays, since hers is the anniversary of her mother’s death, so Jaesa celebrates her very quietly, without gifts or pageantry, just extra affection and space at the end of the day. Mena surprises Jaesa by being pretty big on anniversaries, using them as an excuse to pamper and spoil her for the day. But Mena also remembers anniversaries of strange milestones for them, and so they’ll have situations like Mena giving Jaesa a new tuning for her lightsaber or something and Jaesa asking her what she’s giving it to her for, with Mena deflecting with a kiss and a “because you needed it.” Jaesa would press with, “Okay, but why are you giving it to me now?” and Mena would answer with something like, “Because today is the day that you told Somminick Timmns that you made the right choice by joining me, and I like to thank you for that.” “Mena, that was eight years ago.” “Yes, and?”

17. What would make them break up? Would it be permanent?

Mena would probably leave Jaesa if she thought it was the only thing that would protect her. She would hope that it wouldn’t be permanent, but if she thought that it had to be in order to keep her safe, she would make herself learn to live with that. Jaesa might leave Mena if she tried to cut herself off from her feelings again, because it nearly broke them both for Mena to be nothing but wrath.

23. How do they hug? Kiss? Tease? Flirt? Comfort?

For Mena, hugging, teasing, and flirting all come as naturally as breathing. She’s a very physical person and always has been. Mena hugs with her whole body and makes herself fit into the other person, which can become a little uncomfortable, as she is very warm and a little sharp in places (she has learned to be careful to just press her forehead into others’ chests instead of her whole face). However, once she and Jaesa start to realize that what they feel for each other is attraction, and that oh fuck the flirting has been genuine, the touch that was once natural and easy becomes stilted and awkward or just stops all-together. Jaesa is a natural at providing comfort, and surprisingly good at teasing, but a little nervous about the rest of it. Mena’s physical teasing and flirting (feather-light touches, barely running her nails across Jaesa’s skin while repositioning her arms during a training session) nearly break Jaesa, mostly because at first she has no idea what the intent is (she’s seen Mena flirt with just about everyone), because no one has really flirted with her the way Mena does before, and because she has no idea how to reciprocate. Their first several kisses were fierce, desperate, almost about one of them teaching the other a lesson; they weren’t really the nicest kisses. Sure, they felt good, but tears were involved, there was a knife, someone got slapped, it was a whole thing. Luckily, they get a lot better at it, once Mena is talked into actually coexisting with her feelings and figuring out that she doesn’t have to be Hulk!Mena all the time, she can be tender!Mena who just wants to caress Jaesa’s very pretty face and kiss her very soft lips. When they kiss, Jaesa likes to take Mena’s hair down while she’s distracted so that she can have her hands in it. This tends to short-circuit Mena’s brain, because she very rarely lets anyone touch her hair or see her with her hair down but Jaesa’s light touches against her scalp make her relax. 

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Sith Warrior/Jaesa Willsaam, Female Sith Warrior/Jaesa Willsaam Characters: Sith Warrior, Female Sith Warrior, Jaesa Willsaam Additional Tags: Original Character(s), Slow Burn, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Just Unresolved Tension in General, lightning as a metaphor for UST, Atmena "Mena" Jenkari'uul (original character), Pining, charged hand touches, let me turn swtor into a victorian lesbian drama in peace okay, Power Dynamics Summary:

Mena teaches Jaesa to cast lightning. The electricity is far from the only spark.

Hi, I asked the Dreamhouse Discord the other day for ideas of what to write, and was told to write soft pining, hand touches, and Master/Apprentice dynamic bullshit for Mena/Jaesa. Please enjoy the fact that for once, I have written something that is not actually very angsty at all (!!).

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For Mena/Jaesa: 5. What song would they duet at karaoke night? and 11. Where is their favourite place to be alone?

5. What song would they duet at karaoke night?

I think Jaesa would be far too embarrassed to do karaoke night, and Mena’s father had her classically trained to sing, so she doesn’t really do karaoke either, but they both enjoy getting Sija and Nik drunk and watching them do karaoke.

11. Where is their favourite place to be alone?

Yavin IV. Mena hit one of her lowest points there, having to face the fact that the Emperor really had abandoned his people to his hunt for immortality, and she turned her anger in a lot of the wrong directions. And Jaesa stayed by her side to help her turn it inwards in the way she needed to, to let herself break, and to pick the pieces back up. After the battle with Revan, after Mena officially renounced the Emperor, Jaesa found a long-forgotten temple, cleared by the Reclamation Service as having nothing further of interest or value to the Empire, the quietest place she could find in the Force, and took Mena there. The caves around it are good to get lost in for a while, and cleaning the place up is a good project for the two of them. It’s where they go if they need to get away from everyone else for a while.

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playlist masterpost

So I changed my spotify account to match the username that I use basically everywhere else, and because of that, I wanted to update on here the swtor-related playlists I’ve made, since it seems like there are maybe three people who like my playlists and I want those three people to be able to find them :)

ch’uscehah en’kin’at: “murderbaby,” a playlist for my Imperial Agent, Raz

her priorities are clear: a Raz/Shara mix, named from a line in one of the letters you get if you let Watcher X go, the letter that named my ship, the letter that makes me gladdest that Raz killed him, because he knows them both too well

idiot avocado: the loves and losses of my idiot avocado smuggler, Zuvi

mal’r: “liar,” for my lying liar who lies, Mahzarin, the Sith Warrior who isn’t even Force-sensitive

delsus mtoni: “slow burn,” for the painfully slow burn that is my main Sith Warrior, Mena, and the love of her life, Jaesa

zudyti tu’iea isdavy: “kill your betrayer,” this is also a Mena playlist, but it’s more general/for her to cope with the Quinncident, and it’s named in Sith because I felt like having a playlist named “kill your betrayer” might be a good way to get me added to some kind of a list (still a work in progress)

tear the galaxy apart: the first swtor playlist I ever made, for bisexual queen of our hearts Lana Beniko, named from the letter she sends the Commander when they go missing on the Worst Field Trip Ever with Valkorion; attempts to tell a story spanning approximately the time between meeting Lana in Forged Alliances to Nathema Round 2 in Fractured Alliances.

tapti’ nedary: “come undone,” my first playlist for someone else, made for @rainofaugustsith’s Viri and Lana. Reading Viri/Lana content makes me feel like a homewrecker for shipping any of my own toons with Lana, and this is my way of making up for it. (I’m disappointed I didn’t make it longer or organize it into a better “story” order, but I’m pretty satisfied with the overall mood)

viridana: (if you thought “idiot avocado” was my least creatively named playlist, congratulations, you were wrong) Rain’s Viri is awesome and inspiring, a fierce warrior and an even fiercer friend. Rain always appreciates my character playlists, so I wanted to pay it back by trying to capture Viri in playlist form (even if it is hard to nail down genres for Viri).

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Spotify gave me a new Mena/Jaesa song that (combined with a prompt that’s been gathering dust in my inbox, sorry!) is inspiring something that will potentially turn into some lovely angst and eventual fluff.

Tell her a story Tell her the honest truth You treat her better Make sure to see it through

Don't be just everything she wants Be everything she needs When she says she loves you Tell her you love her too

Give her a reason Reason to love all you do

She'll tell you secrets You'll tell her secrets too She'll tell you all her hopes and dreams You'll tell them too

When she says she loves you Tell her you love her too Tell her you love her too

But don't you run away run away When you get tired 'Cause this will slip away slip away And start a fire That can never be put out Oh hurry time is running out But don't you run away run away Before you say You love her

When she says she needs you Tell her you need her too You tell her clearly Speak what your heart wants you to Tell her she's lovely Always tell her the truth

When she says she loves you Tell her you love her too But don't you run away run away When you get tired 'Cause this will slip away slip away And start a fire That can never be put out Oh hurry time is running out But don't you run away run away Before you say You love her

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9. “Just do one last thing: Kiss me.” for Mena and Jaesa

I’m going to also reply to @balaurvestic‘s request for #30 (“I tried my best to not feel anything for you. Guess what? I failed.” for Mena/Jaesa) in the same response because I’m lazy; hope that’s okay!

This little bit falls right after the Revan fight on Yavin IV, in the version where Sija and Mena team up to kick his ass (that’s not super plot-relevant, but I guess I like to give context? whatever, I’m rambling, on to the response to the prompt!).

.....

After Darth Nox’s confrontation with Revan, the atmosphere in both the Imperial and Republic camps on Yavin IV is different. There is an air of celebration, certainly, among those who stormed the Temple and fought off Revan’s forces (and the moon��s own ancient defenses), but it is muted. A victory was earned, but many in each camp heard the cost. 

Nox’s second, the Emperor’s Wrath, the diminutive Sith, had kept her footing, stayed standing when the sudden gusting winds after the battle had caught nearly everyone else off-guard. She had braced herself against the storm, glaring up at the clouds as leaves and debris whipped around her face.

Those closest to her, Darths Marr and Nox, Grandmaster Shan, Lana Beniko, heard the Emperor's words clearly. “You are still special to me, Wrath. I will kill you last.” 

Mena had kept her face mostly unreadable at the time, but back in the relative safety of the Imperial camp--after Darth Marr had pulled her aside to tell her it was okay to feel whatever way she was feeling about the Emperor’s betrayal, as long as she would still fight for the Empire--she can hear the whispers that follow her. She was his servant, his Wrath, she had to have known what was coming.

After a minute or two of watching Mena sit stonily by the fire, Jaesa grabs Mena’s hand and leads her away from the others, into the crumbling remains of a ruined temple building. Mena’s eyes flash with anger but Jaesa stops her before she can speak.

“Go ahead, be angry with me—at least that would mean you were feeling something toward me, feeling something at all.”

“What do you—”

She shoots Mena a look that keeps her from finishing any thought she might have had. “You haven’t let yourself feel anything for so long, and it’s killing you, and it’s killing me too, and you don’t even see it, do you? Mena, I’ve been trying to be more like you, to not feel anything for you, but I can’t:”

“Jaesa…” Mena moves to brush Jaesa’s hair back from her eyes, but Jaesa tips her face away from Mena’s hand.

“You don’t get to just suddenly be tender, not if your heart’s not in it.” Jaesa grips Mena’s wrist and lowers her hand between them, holding it there. “I’ve had to cut myself off from my power--did you notice? I couldn’t stop feeling like I was constantly searching for you.”

“I’ve been right here, Jaesa. I haven’t gone anywhere.”

“Yes, you have. You left us before Corellia—you left me. I’ve hardly seen you, not the real you, since then.”

“What do you want from me, Jaesa?” Irritation swirls around Mena, but she doesn’t pull her hand away from Jaesa’s or move back from her.

“Mena, I--” Jaesa stops herself, closes her eyes for a moment. “I know you’re angry, but you’re not angry with me, and there is so much more to you than the Wrath if you would just feel it again. I just need you to do one thing.”

In the pause, Jaesa releases Mena’s wrist, slips her hands around Mena’s waist. Mena looks up at her, waiting.

“Kiss me.”

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*incoherent gay screaming from the Odessen Wilds*

(fucking finally)

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7- What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other? 9- Who worries the most? 10- Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant? 11- Who tops?, for Mena/Jaesa?

(I don’t have any good screenshots of them together yet, so instead have a shot of two girls, standing on a beach, 5 feet apart ‘cuz they’re not gay, right bioware?)

7. What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

Look, Mena is an idiot about feelings and the full realization took an extremely long time to hit her, but at the first hint, her reaction was to double-down on dicking-down with other people to tell her feelings to knock that shit off. Jaesa tried to redirect her energy into Project All Right Cool Let’s Find a New BFF On This Trashfire of a Crew. Malavai was an instanope, since he was Mena’s main source of  aforementioned dicking-down. Vette was already taken as Mena’s BFF. Pierce just sort of looked at her like, “...are you okay?” Mahzarin laughed at her at first, then realized Jaesa was serious about trying to be friends with her and offered Pierce literally anything he wanted if he would take one for the team and be Jaesa’s new friend because no kriffing way was Mahzarin gonna give Jaesa the opportunity to learn her secret. So that’s how Jaesa became surprisingly good friends with Pierce to distract her from all the pining for Mena.

9. Who worries the most?

Jaesa does. Mena tends to deal with all of her problems by literally fighting them, and yes, she is Wrath personified, and she has laser swords and claws and sharp teeth and she does not seem to know the meaning of the word failure, but she is also tiny. And yeah, with their bond, Jaesa can feel Mena’s emotions and her pain really well (as much as Mena will deny having either of those things) but sometimes with Mena’s skintone and the way that she just glows with her rage, it is really hard to tell how badly she is hurt after a fight until she just drops. Which is not to say that Mena doesn’t worry, but she shows her concern by beating the absolute shit out of whoever caused the concern.

10. Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

Mena, because she’s a good little socialite.

11. Who tops?

Mena. Good christ, LS!Jaesa couldn’t top to save her life. It would be great to see her try though.

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Three OTP Questions

Tagged by @a-muirehen <3

I am terrible at making decisions, but @sunsetofdoom and @balaurvestic wanted to hear more about Mena/Jaesa, so that made it easier

(using a screenshot @pauletta-00 took of Mena when we did the Black Talon together because it is a great shot of her, hope you don’t mind! I don’t have any good screenshots of Mena and Jaesa together because I’m a poop)

1. How did they first meet?

Not really the cutest meeting story, since Mena was supposed to kill Jaesa for Baras, but she never intended to do that even before she started getting a sense of who Jaesa was. She was always more intrigued by the idea of a Jedi Padawan that Baras felt threatened by enough that he needed her eliminated. Following Jaesa’s path, Mena got to learn more about herself than she bargained for, but she also got to learn little things about Jaesa along the way. Jaesa could read bits about Mena along the way too, but not much; she really only had what Master Karr told her about Darth Baras and his apprentice to go off of. So their first meeting was interesting for both of them, a realization that they’d made a lot of wrong assumptions about each other. Their first face-to-face meeting was on Hutta, and Jaesa fully expected Mena to kill Nomen Karr after everything he had told her about Baras and the apprentices he took on.

2. What did they think of each other at first?

Nomen Karr had tried to prepare Jaesa to hate the Sith apprentice who had been sent for her. Karr and Jaesa both expected Mena to strike him down, so when she didn’t, Karr had raged against her, demanding that Jaesa look into her heart to see her true nature. Mena, who had already seen her nature reflected back to her on Tatooine, dared Jaesa to look as long as she liked, but only if she looked into Master Karr’s heart too. Jaesa had already known that something was wrong about Nomen Karr, but she hadn’t been brave enough to question him. Looking into Mena confused Jaesa: she saw Mena’s darkness, but it was tinged with something else that wasn’t light, but it was righteous. Mena was fascinated by Jaesa but a little uncomfortable with the way that Jaesa watched her, even if she was able to hide her discomfort exceptionally well. Mena was a bit of a life preserver thrown to a near-drowning Jaesa in a rather tumultuous time in her life, and she may have gone a little deep into trying to be like her until Vette pulled her aside to ask her if she had been allowed to develop her own personality while living with the Jedi and if she knew that it was okay to relax and be herself now.

3. Were they immediately interested / attracted or did that come later?

Jaesa was immediately attracted to Mena’s strength, her confidence in her defiance of her Master, even if she was a little misguided in her understanding of Mena’s motives. She was also just sort of academically interested in Mena, she told herself, as she didn’t really know any Pureblood Sith—she wanted to know if the cartilaginous growths on Mena’s face were hard or soft (and where else she had them, she had seen ridges on Mena’s forearms and at the top of her breastbone when she wore more revealing outfits), how Mena stayed so clean when she seemed to abhor water, if Mena’s nails were as sharp as they looked, all purely academic interests she assured herself. Mena is an absolute idiot when it comes to feelings and doesn’t like to admit when she is having them. She was screwing Malavai for stress relief when she met Jaesa, but that ended poorly for everyone, and it was years before she realized that she and Jaesa had been pining for each other since the moment Jaesa first read her true nature.

For who should go next: @rainofaugustsith @pauletta-00 @oakstar519 @mimabeann @astrifer-bound @wilvarin-chan @lovonne @ghostlygal @miss-spooky-eyes @resol-nare (as always, only if you’re feeling it, sorry not sorry if you got double-tagged)

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Female Sith Warrior & Jaesa Willsaam Characters: Female Sith Warrior, Jaesa Willsaam, Malavai Quinn, Original Sith Character(s) Additional Tags: Angst, Slow Burn, Domestic Violence, kind of domestic violence? probably safer to tag it, Original Character(s), Atmena "Mena" Jenkari'uul (original character), Sith Pureblood, inappropriate use of jaesa's powers, but how else are these idiots going to work through their issues Summary:

Mena was a lighthouse for Jaesa in a time when her life was threatening to be very dark, until suddenly that light was gone. Jaesa will do whatever it takes to get that light back, even if it hurts them both.

Hi yes, as punishment for you all making me write cutesy fluffy things about my ships with your asks, you get the angst that I wrote for Mena/Jaesa a while back.

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Also 29 and 30 for Mena/Jaesa?

(hey look, a little closer together than the last screenshot, we’re getting there)

29. one headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart

Immediately after the Quinncident, Mena was a little bit… not quite broken, because she didn’t love Quinn, but she did care for him, and she let the distraction blind her to his betrayal. She didn’t want to think about her hurt, so she just retreated into her anger, but Jaesa had to keep looking at her, and if Jaesa wanted to help so badly it was convenient to let Jaesa fill in the cracks that Quinn had made in her so that she could hold herself together. Mena’s father had told her about Force bonds and how they form but when Mena woke up still holding Jaesa, she swore to herself there was no fucking way that was what this was, because that was just a way she could get hurt again, so she put on her Wrath face and left the room to prepare for war without saying a word to Jaesa. The entire time they were on Corellia, Mena didn’t even look at Jaesa, and whenever Jaesa looked at her, she couldn’t see Mena, she could just see Wrath. Jaesa could feel everything that Mena felt--really that she should have been feeling but probably wasn’t letting herself feel, but Mena wouldn’t talk to her, through their victory on Corellia, through striking down Darth Baras, it went on for so long and it was killing her.

30. one headcanon about this OTP that mends it

I’m still getting to fixing that ^

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So I think the thing that might decide whether or not I run Mena through Shadow of Revan or if I just skip her straight to Ossus so she can smooch Jaesa is the title.

I want to get her through Ossus so I can get screenshots of her smooching Jaesa, for reasons, and just go ahead and get that done now because I’m impatient. But I also want her to have the title Empire’s Wrath (because fuck the Emperor, am I right?). And don’t you get that from defeating Revan? And if I skip all the way to Ossus, it says it will basically autocomplete Shadow of Revan/KotFE/KotET based on default choices. Which, for the most part, eh, don’t care, those aren’t really canon for Mena anyway, I’m not gonna run her through KotFE/KotET, so I don’t care about those. But if I do the skip, does she get the title?

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(“slow burn” in Sith), a playlist for Mena and Jaesa being goddamn idiots about their Feelings™, track list with explanations under the cut.

In My Veins - Andrew Belle [god, these two, they’ve got it bad from the moment Jaesa looks at Mena’s heart] Oh you're in my veins And I cannot get you out Oh you're all I taste At night inside of my mouth Oh you run away 'Cause I am not what you found

Fire Breather - LAUREL [Jaesa, watching Mena fuck around with Quinn] I just don't know, he's beautiful Maybe he shines a little more than me No, it's too much, burn my sun Up in flames we go, you fire breather

Hollow Body Weather - Field Division [Mena is Jaesa’s lighthouse, but Jaesa is the voice in the dark for her, even if she doesn’t know it yet] Took my hand And led me through the crowds The only sound for miles Your soothing voice, I remember now

Sleep Baby Sleep - Broods [Spending the night together after the Quinncident] The beauty of this mess is that it brings me close to you I could be the one to give you all that I am With a gentle touch and a foolish love You could be the one to carry all my troubles away With the words you say, all I need to hear so

Shadows of My Name - Emma Ruth Rundle [Mena doesn’t have regrets, exactly, but there’s something] I lay back in salt Please forgive my name I won’t speak at all Just to sing again What you've gone and done

Make This Go On Forever - Snow Patrol [Mena realizing that she has Feelings™ and trying to tell those feelings to knock it the fuck off] Please don't let this turn into something it's not I can only give you everything I've got I can't be as sorry as you think I should But I still love you more than anyone else could

Distrust - Ailbhe Reddy [also on “kill your betrayer,” lol gdi] [Jaesa to Mena while Mena is being a shit to Jaesa and trying to shut her feelings down] I'm not a mistake Hurts when you talk that way And I'm not a waste Time it takes to fuck this up The distaste distrust

Beautiful Hell - Adna [Jaesa processing Mena being distant] I wonder how a gap can feel this much How a gap can feel like something this big

Until the Levee - Joy Williams [This is a smart way to deal with pain. Don’t worry, Mena, Jaesa will help you with breaking that levee if you won’t let it break on its own. :D] I'm gonna stand here in the ache Until the levee on my heart breaks I'm gonna wait out past the shadows And breathe the bitter taste I'm gonna drink the lonely down

Wicked Game - Gemma Hayes [Jaesa at the end of “beacon”] What a wicked game to play to make me feel this way What a wicked thing to do to let me dream of you What a wicked thing to say you never felt this way

Waiting Game - BANKS [Jaesa is touch-starved] I'm thinking it over The way you make me feel all sexy but it's causing me shame I wanna lean on your shoulder I wish I was allowed, but I don't wanna cause any pain And if I'm feeling like I'm evil, we've got nothing to gain

Sirens - Fleurie [kind of hate the tempo/beat, but love the lyrics for Jaesa] Hey are you listening, I cannot reach you I'm on the other side, trying to break through I can hear the sirens

Frail Love - CLOVES [Jaesa finally getting brave enough to say, “look, maybe I’m an idiot, but I love you, and I need to hear that you love me too.”] I understand you thinking and know Our lies are better than the truth | And I can't live it like I'm living I can't wait up nights So tell me once and it's enough Forgive me for my frail love

Make Up Your Mind - Florence + The Machine [jfc this one is also on “kill your betrayer’ but it’s fucking perfect for both of them] [Jaesa is probably not gonna give an actual ultimatum, but she is getting real tired of being hurt] Make up your mind Let me leave or let me love you While you've been saving your neck I've been breaking mine for you

I Don’t Want to Change Your Mind - Damien Rice [Jaesaaaaa ;-;] Wherever you go Well, I can always follow I can feed this real slow If it's a lot to swallow And if you just want to be alone Well, I can wait without waiting If you want me to let this go Well, I'm more than willing

Blue Blood - LAUREL [Mena, you idiot, please just fucking feel things] You made me feel again Made me dance circles 'round the pieces of your heart You made me feel again After the last time, didn't think that I could love

Rescue My Heart - Liz Longley [Mena remains an idiot, but like, at least eventually she’s gonna let Jaesa love her] I can't breathe any faster All the air I wanna capture It's heavy and it hurts my head If you found me Would you save me? If you touch me would it break me Will I come back from this?

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I’m so mean to my companions when I do Shadow of Revan, having my toons’ main love interest set as their companion during the Battle of Rishi and then forgetting that I’m gonna have my toon mack on either Lana or Theron at the end of the final Rishi convo, and then accidentally clicking on the companion immediately after the conversation ends and they say something desperately cute.

With Zuvi, it was Risha, Zuvi made out with Lana, and then Risha asked if her life just got more complicated. With Mena, she macked on Theron, and Jaesa just said, “Whatever is to come, I’m with you.”

;-;

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💝 🎀 💖 ❤ for Mena (the last one goes for Mena/Jaesa too)

💝 What is the dearest gift they have received?

I mean, technically Baras gave her Vette as a gift. But realistically, the dearest gift she ever got was the lightsaber crystals that her father gave her when she became the Wrath. The crystals initially gave her sabers a beautiful deep purple glow that he said matched the saber her mother had carried, but Mena wanted her weapons to be her own. She meditated on the crystals at her altar to her mother and when she reassembled her lightsabers, their glow was a brilliant white with the faintest purple tint.

🎀 Let’s talk about commitment.

Mena is not afraid of committing to anything, but she is a little afraid of having to back out of the commitment later (and that makes sense to her, somehow). She committed herself to being the Emperor’s Wrath and working with Servants One and Two, and served the Emperor well, but look where it got her. She isn’t afraid of committing herself to Jaesa, per se, once she finally admits to herself that she loves Jaesa, but she does know that she most likely will outlive her, and she struggles with that.

💖 Do they consider themselves attractive?

She does, and she’s rather vain.

❤ First sexual experience?

Mena had some awkward teenage dalliances with classmates on Dromund Kaas, stolen kisses with clashing teeth and too much tongue, misaligned gropings in dark corners, and the like, and none of it was necessarily good, but it taught her that she had a skill and a currency that she could use to her advantage.

Her firsts with Jaesa are a ride, because they had several nearlies before she finally let her guard down enough to actually let herself feel something. The night of the Quinncident, they were more intimate with each other than Mena had ever been with anyone else, without actually having sex or even kissing. The day Mena killed Baras, she kissed Jaesa, but felt pushed into a level of intimacy she wasn’t ready to feel again and completely shut herself off. It wasn’t until she saw the Academy on Korriban in ruins that she reached out for Jaesa’s hand, and it was still there, had always been there. Then feeling the sting of another Darth betraying the Empire for his own interests, being under the surface on Manaan and being terrified but unwilling to show it, but always able to find Jaesa’s hand. Being betrayed by the Emperor himself, but her allies still gathered behind Darth Nox and Jaesa’s hand in still in hers. Back on the ship, kissing Jaesa in earnest, kissing with clashing teeth and too much tongue and touching with out-of-practice hands, Mena being too rough in the wrong ways and Jaesa having to remind her I’m not him-I’ve never betrayed you and I never will, Jaesa telling her you’re not just the Empire’s Wrath, you’re my Wrath, and breaking together and together again.