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mc-the-bunny · 3 years

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Okay so hear me out this is my first ever story...

Have mercy on me please :')...

So i had the thought about lucifer being a winemom. And even though i dont particularly like lucifer i was thinking....

What if he would masterbate with the wine bottle and then mc walks 😳🍷

The story:

It had been a long tough day for lucifer.

All day he had been swarmed by paperwork,meetings, bills from mammon and Asmodeus buying things and making sure you dont get eaten or lose interest in him. After all he couldnt bare the thought of you losing interest in him or even worse you dying..

that would be the scariest thing happening to him after lilith died..

beel had also eaten everything in the house twice today. In response this had send satan in a rage, he had punched holes in cabinets and walls.

So now not only lucifer had paperwork he also had to scold satan, which was no easy task. The blonde demon had flung at him so many times (one hitting his abdominal area) before Lucifer could finally get him under control. He lifted his clothing up to reveal a nasty bruise grunting at the touch.

He would deal with satan later.

He also had to Prepare the repairing spells which required special ingredients they didnt have anymore due to beel eating everything including several dishes... So he'd have to go search for the ingredients.... Sigh* why doesnt akuzon have tge ingredients lucifer thinks while scroling to look if they did...

Akuzon had a lot from the east indian special black and red inc he used to the stuff his brothers bought. But sadly no spell ingredients... He could ask solomon if he could get some of the ingredients but he knew solomon would probably want to make a pact with him in return.... Not that he would ask for help otherwise, after all the Avatar of pride didnt need help from a sorcerer.

He walked up to his liquor cabinet

( which was massive)

First he had to drink some demonius to lighten his headache. (and stresslevels because lets be honest the poor man works way to much)

grabbed a bottle of demonius and sat back down behind his desk drinking straight from the bottle.

He hadnt even bothered to pore it into a glass because he would end up drinking the whole bottle anyways.

(bottles and time passed)

3 bottles of demonius later and lucifer finally felt at ease. His alcohol tolerance was naturally very high so if he really wanted to get black out drunk like mammon and Asmodeus sometimes did at parties he would have to at least drink 6 bottles of demonius.

No the 3 bottles just left him tipsy and on edge, feeling like he wanted to have some sexual gratification.

he took the empty bottle of demonius and looked at the shape. The bottles in the devildom (and human world) didnt look to different from those weird toys he saw Asmodeus walking with a few times.

He smirked opening his drawer he took some orgasm gel out. It was the gel he had wanted to use with mc, mc however was already wet enough on their own for him. Dripping down their legs before lucifer even entered them.

He smiled.

However he wasnt going to be dependent on some human to satisfy him.

He didnt want you to think he needed you.

No he was going to satisfy himself with this bottle of demonius, that was now covered in gel. He undid his pants, pulled off his underwear,

and let his hardening member jump out. He putting it on his desk and started to roll the cold bottle back and forth slowly.

his cock hardening at the temperature difference of the bottle. "Fuck " he muttered while pleasuring himself.

He would've been more than embarrassed if anyone would ever know what he was doing, no this was something only he would ever know about.

The only reason he didn't cum was because he didnt want the paperwork to be dirty with his cum. He would never stoop so low.

No he would never.

After massaging his cock with the bottle until it turned the temperature of his skin he looked at the bottle again.

Another idea popped up in his head.

The top looked to be the similar shape of the dildo he had bought recently for mc.

They had been very thankful and thrilled to try it out.

So curious that they couldnt wait to try it and he ended up watching them masterbate in front of him. He shouldve filmed it.

Such a gorgeous delicious sight should be filmed after all he thought.

He'd have to ask mc next time if he could film it.

Their moans of that night had flooded his senses remembering the lovely noises they had made, they seemed to feel so good with that toy inside their ass cumming on his sofa in his secret study.

He walked over to the sofa and looked.

mcs cum still visible on the dark red velvet.

He smirked positioning himself on the sofa ass up.

putting gell on the other side of the bottle now before slowly sliding the bottle in his ass.

A fairly loud moan escaped his mouth.

Its a good thing he had casted a spell to make this room sound proof for the time being otherwise his brithers might of heard him.

No that would be unbearable. They would definitely tease him over it, and his pride would be more shattered than ever.

Due to the orgasm gel his slit around it quite easily. He positioned himself feeling the cold glass reach deeper and deeper in his ass.

His body now felt like it was on fire with pleasure. Another loud moan escaped his mouth. Then he started thrusting the bottle in and out of his ass.

He could feel a orgasm going through his body at high speed.

Faster and faster rougher and rougher. As long as he was in control he didn't care how rough it was.

(nothing to rough for this sadist)

The sounds of his moan increasing in volume with every thrust.

He felt pure pleasure as he felt he was going to cum, he had preps for that to happen however and he Swiftly took the other empty bottle of demonius as he cummed into the bottle.

Putting the full bottle of cum to the side.

He was going to keep thrusting for a littke more he thought.

"Lucifer?"

Lucifer stiffened at hearing your voice, and looked at you like a deer in the headlights.

"what are you doing?"

"Nothing i i was doingbpaperwork "

"with that bottle up your ass? "

You couldnt help but laugh.

Not in a humiliation way but it was the last thing you had expected to walk into when opening his door.

After the knocking was left unanswered you had stepped in only to find lucifer with a bottle of demonius up his as and flushed cheecks as red as apples.

I can explain lucifer quickly pulled the bottle out and sad up, his pride scattered and fearfully awaiting your reaction. What was he thinking not putting a spell on the lock!?.

He would have to wash those bottles secretly later.

washing would be safer due to nosey brothers . you would never be sure if anyone found the bottles or would stumble upon it by accident.

They woukdve immediately known who the bottles had belonged to, after all lucifer was the only one having multiple bottles of demonius on him at all times.

"Lucifer, im sorry for laughing my beloved. Its just that i hadnt expected to find you.. In such state"

... Lucifer fell silent. he felt like his life was over. he was beating himself up for letting this happen.

What would you think of him now?

Would you turn away? He would never get over it if you did.

Sensing his worry you walk up to him and put a arm around his shoulder (not knowing if you should put them on his cock instead)

"Lucy i understand"

You smile at him.

With bewilderment in his eyes he looks at you.

"You do? "

"Yes lucy babe i do, you were under so much stress today. i already thought you had forgotten our date tonight so i initially came to remind you of it "

"im so sorry mc i shouldnt forget -"

"no its okay Lucy its not your fault"

You looked over to the second bottle of demonius on the ground, seeing what you were almost sure to be Lucy's cum in it.

"It is mc how can i apologise? "

"Ill take that bottle"

before he can say no or even think about it you grab the bottle crawl to the corner of the sofa and smell the liquid in it.

Now emerged with the smell of the last bits of demonius his cum smelled like some sort of delicate wine.

"hhhmmmmm it smells so good lucy darling"

He looks at you in shock for a bit but as soon as he realises you dont judge him for masterbating with a bottle he loosens up.

"Does it now my beloved? "

You look up happily

"Yes"

Lucifer chuckles he tries to take the bottle back but you see it comming and quickly run to the other side of the room.

"Nuh uh its mine now lucy"

Lucifer scoffs and makes his way over to you.

Before he can reach you however you already started drinking his cum out of the bottle. Your eyes still fixated on his to see his reaction.

He looks at you before regrouping himself and making his way over to you.

You run to the other side before you continue drinking his cum wine.

"Hmmm mm hmmmmmm, if water tasted like this i would definitely drink enough on a day"

"Mc, stop this weird behavior at once and hand me the bottle..

before i punish you."

He reaches to grab you but having spend so much time with mammon you know how to avoid getting caught. Running further.

Lucifer can't help but smirk, after all hes secretly really proud of you and himself. After all you said his cum is delicious and are getting quite protective.

it is as if lucifer has to take candy from a child.

"Be a good girl and finish it all then"

Your eyes sparkle in excitement

*Really lucy? Thank you!! "

You sit down on the sofa again tired from running around. Lucifer sits besides you rubbing your back waiting for you to finish it all.

You do finish it surprisingly fast and put down the empty bottle. You want to hug him but-

Lucifer grips your hands and handcufs them

"Lucy?"

"yes darling"

he smirks biting your ear softly.

You squeel

"Lucy what are we going to do? We have to be at the restaurant at 6 remember?"

He positions you in a way your but is sticking up. He squeezes it and this draws a moan from your mouth.

"I remember that, we still have 3 hours"

"but-" you stammer.

"i said i would punish you

so be prepared sitting might hurt a bit in the restaurant. "

He says as he takes out his whip ready to spank you senseless for not obeying him.

I hope you enjoyed.

Im sorry for spelling errors im dyslexic😣

#anime #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me texts #obey me mc #obey me dark #obey me luci x reader #obey me lucifer #obey me luficer #lucifans #lucifer #lucifur #lucifer fluff #obey me fluff #obey me smut

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i-desire-jake · 3 years

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MERRY CHRISTMAS (2)

PART 1

“For me?.....Jake sent it?

I open the ribbon of the box with my shaky hands. Then wait for a few seconds and finally take off the lid.

And that’s it. I get the shock of my life.

As soon as the lid got removed ……..”Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” I scream loudly

A tall man pops out of it. I stumble back on my steps shocked and cover my mouth with my palm.

The man is covered in black clothes. A black hoodie with jeans and a guy Fawkes mask. What’s special is that he is wearing a Santa cap on his head. I immediately realize who the person is.

I get numb seeing him. My mind has gone completely blank seeing him there. He is the person I waited for months and loved unconditionally. He is the person who I never saw but still felt like we were meant for each other.

“Hey love, your hacker is here now, forever.” Jake says in his raspy voice snapping me out of my thoughts, and then make his way out of the box.

He removes his mask and hood. I feel like I’m in heaven seeing the angelic view in front of my eyes.

Those deep blue ocean eyes, black messy hair, pale yellow skin with a bright smile on his lips. It’s just how I imagined him.

He makes his way towards me and stand in front of me. I desperately want to say him that how much I miss him and how much I love him, but my mouth isn’t willing to utter a single syllable.

Not being able to say anything, I jump on him and hug him like a koala which makes him stumble back but he maintains his balance somehow.

I break down, breakdown completely in front of him. I sob loudly trying to tell him how much I missed and love him.

“j..j…..jakkee…….mmm………jj-jake…..i …i..J-jake…i-i…is..it really…y-you?….i l-love….you…….I love you Jake.”

“Sshh…..I’m here now mc, don’t cry……It's okay…and yes its me, im here.” He pats my head and rubs my back to calm me down. But these months of waiting and pain won’t go in a second. It was inevitable. To see your love for the first time after longing for months and then not breaking down after finally having him in your arms.

“J..Jake……plea..se…don’t leave….please I beg.” I somehow manage to say this between my sobs.

“Sshhh….calm down mc……I won’t go….hmmm? I promise now no one can separate us. I love you, my love”

He makes me look at him then presses his lips gently on mine. This feeling seems magical, I forget everything at this moment. He slowly moves his lips against mine pouring all his love and emotions into me. The kiss is sweet but salty too. It’s mixed with tears of joy, happiness, pain, worry and so much more which only we two can understand.

We slowly part away after we run out of our breath. I look deep into his eyes as he does the same. I wipe the tears which fell from his eyes while kissing me and once again attach my lips to his.

“I LOVE YOU JAKE”

“I LOVE YOU TOO MC”

He kisses my hair, then We both connect our foreheads and enjoy the moment of having each other in our arms.

“How’s my surprise?”he ask, carrying me to the couch in his arms.

“It’s the best Christmas gift I have ever got in my life Jake.” I replied to him with a big smile on my lips.

“By the way you look gorgeous in this dress” he says showing his cute and flirty smile.

I blush and mumble a small “thank you” to him.

“You told me, that you will save food and a bottle of wine for me. Is that offer still available?”he asks in a flirty tone.

“Of course. I have so many foods, cakes, cookies and wine just for you. I prepared them especially for you even though I had no idea you were coming”

“Come with me” I stood up and drag him to the living room with me.

“Whoa….looks like you had a wild party” he says seeing the mess around in my house.

“Yeah…sorry for that. My friends came over and then I was just too lazy to clean them up now”

“It's okay” he said.

“Let's go to the kitchen” I said and took him with me to the kitchen.

I opened my fridge and took out the food I prepared. “Umm….I don’t know what you like, so what would you like to have?”

“I'll have anything you serve me, seeing the food only, I can say that it's very delicious” he answered me.

“Okay then….you sit at the dining table and I’ll heat the food” I said to him putting the Christmas ham, steak, chicken, smoked salmon and carrots into the oven for heating it.

“It's okay, I’ll stand here and see you working” he said cheekily then wrapped his arms around my waist hugging me from behind.

“I thought you were only going to see” I said teasingly.

“Well, I can do more than just watching you” he said then planted soft kisses on my shoulder and neck from behind. The feeling was euphoric, it felt so good that anyone can melt in his embrace.

“Red wine or champagne?”I asked.

“Red wine” he said

The food was heated till now, so he left my waist and helped me to carry the food to the dining table with the wine. I served the food in the plates then poured both of us wine.

I was eagerly waiting for him to taste the food. As soon as he took a bite, I immediately asked him “how is it? Do you like it?”

“Mhmm…..I love it.” He replied smiling brightly.

I then dig into my own food and start eating with him. The whole time we laughed and catched up for the time we missed. He told me that he read all my texts and was even flustered sometimes when I sent him my pics.

“Oh god, I’m super full” I said. It’s because I had food with my friends also a few hours ago and I ate again, so I was total stuffed. “But I’m always up for deserts” I laughed, took the last sip of my wine and went to the kitchen to bring desert for us.

“Did you really cook this much all by yourself?” he asked amused eyeing the deserts I brought. It had cheesecake, Chocó truffle, caramel pudding, cookies, ice cream and croissants.

“Well…..I’ve been preparing them from a week.” I replied shyly.

Again we started to dig in the deserts followed by our mutual laughter, teasing and small chit chats.

“This time I’m totally full” I exclaimed and Jake just laughed.

“What do you want to do now?” I asked him after we had our dinner while cleaning the dining table.

“Umm…we should sleep now, I guess” he said eyeing the clock which showed 04:18 AM.

“Yeah…” I said then went to the kitchen to place the dishes. While I was placing the dishes I suddenly remembered that I brought Jake a gift.

I immediately rushed to the living room, but before I could do or say something Jake pulled me into a sweet kiss. I was so into the kiss that I didn’t even notice him sliding a bracelet on my hand. After we parted, Jake said held both of my small palms in his and said “merry Christmas love.” He Kissed my knuckles then I saw the beautiful thing on my wrist “It's for you” he said and again pulled me into a passionate kiss.”

After a few moments we both parted and rested our forehead against each other. “Thank you so much for this Jake. I’ll always keep this with me. I love you” I said smiling in pure happiness and bliss.

“Wait, I forgot again”I said then pulled out of his embrace and went to the Christmas tree to fetch the gift which I brought for Jake. He followed me confused.

I took the small box which was covered with glistening paper and a sticker with “JAKE” written on it was pasted on it. I gave it to him.

“You don’t have to mc”he said eyeing the box.

“I took your gift and surprise visit happily as a Christmas present, now it’s your turn……”

“Open it…..c’mon”I said eagerly.

He unwrapped the box, and then opened the velvet box to see his gift. A tear drop left from his eyes seeing the beautiful pair of pendant there. He immediately came to me and took me in a bone crushing hug.

“How did I become so lucky to get you? I don’t even deserve you, but you do so much for me which no one has ever done, not even my mom” he said sobbing like a baby in your arms.

Yes, his mom doesn’t love him, and for dad he left them. His mom thinks his dad left her because of Jake so she always hated him and blamed him for it. “You are a mistake” he heard this line everyday from his mom until he ran away from his house.

He opened up to me and said me this during one of our conversations during investigation, and that’s when he also confessed his real feelings to me and said that he will surely come out from his misery for me, only for me and return to me one day and love me like no one else did.

“Sshh Jake, don’t cry”I patted his back and mumbled sweet words to him. “And don’t ever think you don’t deserve me, because from what we both have gone through after that we both deserve each other equally. You are a treasure to me Jake, and I can’t see you like this, crying. I love you Jake and will always do.”

I said then pulled out of the hug. Now, let me make you wear this.

I took out the necklace and put it around his neck, then kissed him softly on his cheek. He did the same, it was a couple necklace. He put it around my neck then kissed my forehead.

“I’m never gonna take it off.” He said. “Me too” I replied.

“I love you” Jake said.

“I love you more” I replied.

And that’s how a new chapter began in our life. We both became inseparable, our love was infinite. Every time spent with him was euphoric. We both promised each other to always love the other, take care of each other in all situations and always be with each other at all time. We vowed this in front of a cross in the presence of a priest in a white hall.

AND THAT'S HOW TWO HEART MET TO MOULD INTO EACH OTHER FOREVER.

THE END.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Hello everyone. I hope you all enjoyed reading this oneshot. This time I have written it a bit different, its written in diary format. Also I have added pictures in it and conversations with Jake. (THE PICTURES ARE NOT MINE) I hope you all like it.

RANT: So, it took me days to complete this freaking thing. And it took me hours to create those text messages with appropriate conversation and timings. Not to mention the pictures.

UGH, one more thing. This was supposed to be a oneshot, but this stupid tumblr said “Dang! You can’t insert more than 10 images” fuck this tumblr.

Anyways, I hope you all liked it.

AAANNNDDDD

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE.🎄🎄

LOVE YOU ALL.❤️❤️

#i-desire-jake #duskwood #duskwood everbyte #duskwood mc #duskwood jake #jake and mc #merry christmas

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hellogoodbye14 · 3 years

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heyy can you write one shot in which inner circle plays never have i ever??

“Good lord…. Look at those two”, said his cousin.

Feyre and Cassian were both sitting on the couch in the living room. Laughing so hard, tears were running down their faces while Feyre was punching a cushion every time a new laugh erupted. Yeap they were absolutely sotted.

“You’re just mad they raided the cellar without you Mor.”

“Duh.”

Rhys moved towards his laughing mate, coming up behind her and kissing her neck. Feyre jumped and turned around smiling. She reached up, placed a hand behind his neck and pulled him towards her for a kiss.

Cassian groaned, “ugh no no don’t ruin our fun time with your never ending make out sessions”.

Feyre giggled and pulled away while Rhys raised an eyebrow at Cassians statement. “Correct me if Im wrong but I was subjected to that just yesterday courtesy of you and Nesta…..in my office.”

Cassian shrugged and offered a wolfish smile, “doing it in places we’re not supposed to turns my girl on and I’m always happy to oblige.”

Rhys just rolled his eyes. Mor coughed, Cass and Feyre finally realised there was someone else in the room. They both turned towards the formidable blonde standing in the entryway of the living room. Both their eyes, wide…. As if they were two kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

“ I can explain” said Feyre, her hands raised up in surrender.

“Yes please, explain.”

Feyre pointed towards Cass, “he made me do it!”

Cassian gasped, “you little tattletale!”

Mor moved, grabbed a bottle from the table nearby and slumped right in between Cassian and Feyre.

“I need to catch up.”

Mor was just about to take a big sip when shadows suddenly entwined the walls and Azriel walked in.

“Damn he’s all sexy and broody when he walks in like that.”

Rhys chuckled, his mate was very honest when drunk. He raised his eyebrow at her “sexy and broody huh?”

Her cheeks reddened but she just shrugged, “it is what it is”

Azriel didn’t respond to the byplay and just snatched the wine bottle from Mor’s hand.

“Hey!”, she stopped her argument right there because Az was chugging straight from the bottle.

“Woah there home boy, whats going on?” Cassian asked.

Azriel remained silent and sat down in the one seater next to the sofa. Rhys knew Az was at the training ring with a certain priestess, he usually always had an amused smile after their dagger throwing sessions but lately Az seemed tightened up, as if he was exhausted trying to restrain himself.

“How about we do something fun?” Rhys suggested, trying to help out his brother from the obvious interrogation which was about to ensue.

Azriel gave him a grateful nod.

“OH MY GOD YES!” , “HELL YES” Cass and Feyre exclaimed.

Mor, “how about a game of never have I ever?”

Amren of all people entered the living room and said “hmmm I’d be down with that.”

“Seriously? You?” Said Azriel.

“Yes I love knowing everyones secrets. It shouldn’t be a surprise Shadowsinger. I certainly want to know some of yours, you’re as mysterious as they come.”

Az just chuckled as Mor handed everyone a glass of wine.

“Okay! Okay! I’ll go first! Ummmm never have I ever lied to get out of going to work”

Cassian, Azriel and Amren drank from their glasses.

“Remind me what I pay you all for again?” Rhys asked as Feyre gave them a shocked look.

Feyre was next, “umm never have I ever used someone else’s toothbrush.”

Mor and Cass took a sip from their drinks.

Rhys looked at Cassian suspiciously, “who’s did you use….”

Cass looked sheepishly at Azriel.

“You did not. Tell me you did not Cass or so help me god.”

“I did. Just once…. Okay twice.. okay damn it three times! I forget to bring necessities on long missions okay. Its not a big deal.”

Everyone chuckled as Azriel glared at Cass.

“Alright, my turn” said Azriel smirking at Cassian.

“Oh shit”

“Never have I ever shaved my head and given someone my wrong name just to get out of trouble.”

“That was a low blow”, said Cassian drinking from his cup.

Feyre’s eyes twinkled, “please elaborate”.

“Lets just say when I wrecked that ONE tiny building in the summer court, I had to do certain things in order to TRY getting out of trouble.”

Mor was snorting and laughing, “oh cauldron I remember that!”.

Even Amren smiled, “oh yes Cassian without his long luscious locks. It was a delight.”

Feyre, “I want to see!”

Rhys smiled at the memory and sent the image to Feyre telepathically.

Feyre was laughing so hard, she almost choked on her wine. “Oh I’m painting that for sure.”

“You wouldn’t do that to me.”

“I obviously would. Okay Amren your turn.”

Amren smiled and said, “never have I ever had a threesome.”

Rhys, Azriel, Cassian and Mor all drank from their cups. Feyre raised an eyebrow at Amren.

“So you never did?”

Amren shrugged while picking her ruby red nails, “oh I’d be keen but most people used to be terrified of me. It was hard enough finding one forget about finding two people.”

Cassian chuckled, “I’m pretty sure young Rhys and Azriel would have volunteered.”

Rhys felt his cheeks burn and saw that his other brother was blushing red too. It was no secret that both him and his shadowsinger had once invited Amren to their beds.

“Have you guys…. “ Feyre pointed at the three Illyrians, “ever… you know.”

“No no we don’t know Feyre. Please elaborate.” said Cassian with his eyes glimmering.

“Oh you know what I mean”

Everyone laughed and Feyre looked towards her mate.

“Yes we have Feyre darling, a few times during our wild youthful years.”

“Wow”.

Rhys smirked and sent a thought down the bond. Feyre blushed and suddenly aroused energy could be felt in the room between the two mates.

“Oh for cauldrons sake, reel that back in” groaned Mor.

The mated couple laughed and smiled at one another. Rhys offered a caress down the bond and Feyre gave one back in return.

Before he knew it, his feet were moving and he was picking up Feyre.

“Hey! We were still playing!” yelled Cass, but it was all in vain. Rhysand and Feyre were too lost in eachother and were moving towards the doorway.

Feyre offered them a salute over Rhys’s shoulder and called out, “to be continued later”

#acosf #acotar #acowar #acomaf #feysand #rhysand #feyre and rhysand #feyre archeron #high lord rhysand #cassian #morrigan #azriel #amrenofvelaris #amren acotar #inner circle

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illfoandillfie · 4 years

Text

5 Simple Rules For A Successful Fake Relationship: The Perfect Match (Epilogue)

5 SIMPLE RULES MASTERLIST

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader

Summery: What happens after you tell Ben you love him?

Warnings: SMUT (18+), oral sex (f receiving, implied male receiving), fingering, nipple play, it’s mostly just fluffy bullshit lmao

Words: 7129

A/N: Epilogue time! Apologies for taking so long to get this written, it’s been a rough few weeks. But we’re finally here!

Taglist: @laedymoon @dtfrogertaylor @vee-ndetta @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @supersonicfreddie @taron-egrotten @johndeaconshands @borhapbois

@coni-martina @hardforbenhardy @cubedtriangle @vicouscirce @arianabrashierstuff @pattieboydwannabe @maggieroseevans @theprettyandthereckless

Being in Barcelona with Ben was like having a fresh start. One without intrusive photographers or the pressure of being walking advertisements for a movie. You almost had to physically push Ben out of the hotel on the first morning you were there. He was reluctant to leave you but, being lead actor, couldn’t exactly skip work. At any rate, you wouldn’t let him. It wasn’t so bad spending the day holed up in his suite. You went back to bed after he’d left and then, once properly rested, put music on as you caught up on emails and the like. In the afternoon you popped downstairs to explore the square the suite looked out on, visiting a quaint little bookstore, a shop full of touristy knickknacks, and a cute café that sold maybe the strongest coffee you’d ever had. Having so much time to yourself also gave you a chance to call Felicity and have a long conversation with her, filling her in on exactly what had happened after you got on the plane. She was thrilled to hear it had gone well and took a large part of the credit for herself.

“Afterall, I was the one who told you to get off your arse. If I hadn’t you’d still be crying in bed,” You laughed and conceded she had a point, “but you’re not the only one who gets credit,” “Fine, but it’s like 90% down to me.”

But, even with so much to occupy you, by the end of the day you were eager for Ben to get back, bored of being on your own, ready to have the conversation you’d both been too tired to fully have the previous night. When he di[d finally walk through the door it was obvious he was just as keen to see you. You heard the thump of his backpack hitting the floor just inside the door and then him calling your name. He found you on the couch and rushed up behind you, leaning in for a kiss when you tilted your head back to greet him. “I love being able to do that,” he said softly as he sat down, making you smile. He asked how your day had been as you shuffled closer, letting him drape an arm around you and pull you against his chest. And for a while that was all you talked about, your day and his, everything you’d got up to. His had been a little busier, working with the stunt coordinator and fight choreographer in the morning so they could film the scene in the afternoon. Completely different from the prep you’d done for The Perfect Match, but you could tell how much he enjoyed it from the way he spoke about it. Even if he did end up with a few bruises as proof of his hard work. Before long though you had to address the question hanging over your heads, had to have the talk. It wasn’t an easy conversation. It took some time and meant being open about the previous few months – the insecurities and fears that had kept you from recognising and acting on your feelings, the impact being in the public eye had on you, the pros and cons of dating another actor and, perhaps most importantly, potential challenges you would face because of your previous history. You both readily admitted there’d been some rough moments when you’d handled things poorly and the question had to be asked of if you’d be able to move on from those patches and any wounds they’d caused. Any lingering reservations you had about Ben and his willingness to make it work were quickly put to rest. He was the first to offer up his vulnerabilities, both personal and professional, and discuss the space where they intersected with you. It was all you needed to be fully assured he was in it for the long haul. Of course, you reciprocated his openness with confessions of your own, harder to get out than you’d imagined, but he was patient and leant you a reassuring hand squeeze when you needed it. It wasn’t exactly fun but it was a necessary evil. And by the time you were done you both knew exactly where you stood and were in agreement about how to move forward, making it all worthwhile.

Neither of you felt much like going out afterwards though so you ordered room service, making sure to get a bottle of wine with the food, and celebrated quietly. Ben ran down to the nearest store and bought a few candles to make it seem a little more romantic and promised to take you out on a proper date the next night. “So would that be our first date? Or does everything from before count too?” you asked around a mouthful of food, looking at Ben across the candle lit table. “Huh, good question. I think it counts,” “Really?” you laughed, “I was about to say it doesn’t. It was all planned by other people and not really…real,” “Hey, not everything was planned out for us. That date where we painted mugs was all my idea and, might I add, something I’d thought about specifically to impress you. It was on my list of potential dates in case I got the chance to ask you out after we wrapped. Same goes for that brunch place I took you and the ice skating rink. Also those dates were part of what me fall for you so they kind of have to count.” You had to smile at that, “When did you know?” “Uh,” Ben dropped his gaze to where his hand lay on the table, “Our first date.” “Really?” “I’d already liked you for a while and then you went and decorated a mug with lyrics from the song I heard every time I looked at you.” It wasn’t until after he’d finished speaking that he lifted his eyes again, giving a small shrug. “That’s so ridiculously sweet, Ben, I might have to kiss you about it.” “Well I’m a sweet guy Y/N,” he was almost laughing when you made good on your threat, standing up from your side of the table and nearly pouncing on him. He just pulled you further onto his lap, the dinner forgotten as you revelled in the knowledge that making out was allowed now, encouraged even. “You wanna move this to the bedroom?” Ben asked, illuminated by the dancing flames more than the lights you’d left on. “I don’t normally sleep with a guy on the first date,” you said, pretending to weigh up your options as you twirled a strand of Ben’s hair around your finger. “We just agreed it’s not our first date. Closer to our fifty first probably.” “Hmmm, you make some good points, babe,” His face lit up and you nearly fell of his lap as he sat forward, “are we allowed to do pet names again?” You groaned into his shoulder but he just chuckled “You wanna move this to the bedroom, cuddle bunny?” “I hate you,” “No you don’t,” you could tell he was grinning, even with your face buried in the crook of his neck. “Little bit.” “Aww c’mon cuddle bunny, don’t be like that. I’ll make you feel real good.” “I don’t know Ben, you’ve got a lot to live up to.” “I do?” “You don’t remember? First night I stayed over at yours you made some pretty big claims about what you were capable of. Said if anyone asked I should tell them I came like three times,” you put air quotes around his words. “So you’re saying if I prove that I really am that good, you won’t complain about cuddle bunny or any other nickname I come up with?” “I never said that,” “You basically did and the challenge has been accepted.” You broke into giggles as he pushed you from his lap, only to lurch forward and kiss you, smiling himself. He led you into the next room, discarding clothes along the way.

***

You laughed as you sat on the bed, watching as Ben hopped through the doorway on one foot, trying to kick his pants off his other leg as he went. Your shirt and bra had been lost somewhere between the table and the bed, his shirt discarded even earlier. He gave you a slightly sheepish smile as he finally managed to free himself from the jeans and followed you towards the bed. You leaned back, still on the edge of the bed, propping yourself up on your hands to keep your eyes locked on him and he followed, caught your lips again though softer than before, one hand hovering just above your shoulder, fingertips barely grazing you. It was miles from the first time you’d slept with him, when you’d both been full of alcohol induced confidence and a lack of clear thought. You pushed yourself closer to try and let him know he could be firmer, that you’d like it if he was. Instead he pulled back even more. “Is something wrong? Do you not want to do this?” “No, no I absolutely do. Just,” he smiled again, the shy half smile that made him seem even more boyish than usual, “you’re gorgeous and I kinda can’t believe this is happening. Again. Just give me a second to let it sink in.” “Benjamin I swear, if you start crying,” “I’m not going to cry,” he chuckled, “probably.” You waited, watched his eyes roam over every inch of you from your hairline to your waist, leaving a trail of warmth in their wake. Finally he kissed you again, already almost breathless, his hand cupping your jaw as if he had to work up to touching you elsewhere. Slowly his touch fell lower, neck, collarbone. When he grazed your breast he pulled his hand back again but you hummed at the contact and he replaced it. You stopped holding yourself up, let yourself lay back against the mattress as his lips moved to your throat, his thumb teasing the nipple it found to a stiff peak. It left your hands free to wrap around him, hold him against you. “Do you mind if I leave some marks?” “Go ahead,” you said, far more concerned about losing the feeling of his mouth on you than what would be left when he was done. You felt him nuzzle his nose against the underside of your jaw, and then a tingle down your spine as he found a spot to leave a large purple bruise, close to where he’d first given you a hickey at your request. You made a low hum and tilted your head to the side, exposing more of your neck to him, and he delighted in filling the space with more marks. Three along the column of your neck, one on your sternum and one on your right breast. “How’s it look?” you asked, as he raised his head from your chest. “Perfect. But that could just be because your boobs are right in my face. Very nice view.” You gave him a light pinch for his cheek but he didn’t react, far more interested in creating another hickey on your chest. “Hope you weren’t planning on filming any topless scenes anytime soon,” he mumbled, moving to repeat the process on your other breast, “makeup’ll have a hell of a time covering all these.”

By the time Ben was ready to continue his trail lower you were aching for more. Your underpants were slick with your need, nipples hard as Ben’s saliva caught the cold air he blew over them. Again you were struck by how different to last time it was. Then it had been fast, only minutes between being pushed up against the door and having his fingers in you. But now? Now Ben was taking his time. You understood why, of course. Back then you’d been trying to reach the end before either of you could think for half a second about it being a bad idea. You’d been drunk and clueless about how much you’d both wanted it to happen. All you’d had to do was palm him over his pants and he was raring to go. Not so much this time. He was certainly worked up, you’d found as much when you’d tried to cop a feel. But he stopped you before you got too far, laced his fingers through yours so you couldn’t stroke him off. He responded to your whine with a line about having a reputation to live up to and then let go of your hand as he slipped off your lap to the floor. He made you wait as he tugged your pants from your legs and then left another mark on your hip. You opened your legs wider for him, earning a small nip against your thigh. “Wish I’d done this for you last time,” he said softly, kissing the spot that was still tingling from the scrape of his teeth. You propped yourself up on your elbows to watch, “If you’d done this last time I’d have confessed my love a whole lot faster. Could-coluld’ve saved me the cost of the flight here.” You voice shook as he pressed his tongue to your soaked underwear and you briefly wished you’d packed some actual lingerie and not just your every-day sensible cotton knickers, but Ben clearly didn’t mind. “Cute panties,” he said between sucks through the material, “that wet patch from your pussy or my mouth?” He laughed as he pulled them off you, dropping them unceremoniously to the side as he sat up higher on his knees.

The next thing you knew was Ben’s fingers on either side of your lips, pulling you open. He glanced up at you, grinned when you whined softy, didn’t break eye contact as he dragged his tongue over you. No more build up, no more playful comments as he took his time exploring you. Just his mouth on you, determinedly pushing you to the edge. You let your head fall back with a squeak as he nudged your clit with his nose, following it up by sucking the nub into his mouth, pulling a moan from you. Your breath caught when he slid two fingers along your slit, coating them in your arousal and a whiny expletive was your response to one entering you. Ben pulled back and gave you a wink as he added another finger. You’d have told him off for being so cocky if you hadn’t felt so good. Instead you fell back to the mattress completely. “That feel good baby?” He asked between licks, stretching you out, trying to find the same spot he’d reached last time. “So good Ben,” “I love the way you say my name.” He pressed a third finger into you, shifted the angle slightly, and without thinking you twisted a hand into his hair, let him hear his name again. He hummed though you weren’t sure what caused it, only that it felt incredible, his lips wrapped around your clit. With soft encouragement he made you tip over the edge, squirming under him as you rode it out. He was gentle when he pulled his fingers from you and left a kiss against your thigh, waiting for you to come back to earth before he began gloating. “That’s one. How do you want the next? Same thing?” It took you a moment to figure out what he meant but he filled the time by kissing a path back up to your lips, shorter than the trip down had taken. “Well? What next?” he asked again when it seemed like you weren’t going to reply. “I could blow you,” you said, once again dropping your hand to try and rub him through his underwear. “Save that for another time. I’ve got a promise to make good on and an adorable nickname to give you.” “I was hoping you’d say that. Really want you in my pussy.” Ben laughed and leaned in to kiss you again, evidence from your orgasm still on his lips and chin, before pushing himself away to finish undressing. You watched him closely, taking in the V that was exposed and the light trail of hair leading under his waistband, the way his thumbs hooked into the material, the slightly theatrical wiggle he made to shake his pants off, how the second he was free of the fabric his hand came up to stroke over his length, seeking some brief relief. He turned away to grab a condom and you made yourself comfortable on the bed, moving to lay back against the pillows rather than hanging over the edge. And then Ben was practically diving on top of you, making you giggle as he kissed you again and again and again. Until he stopped to sit back on his legs, tearing open the condom with his teeth. “Can I?” you asked, pulling your lip between your teeth. “Sure,” As Ben nodded you sat forward, took the condom from him and closed your other hand around him. “Shhhhit,” he breathed out,” “C’mon babe, ‘m already h-hard. Just wanna be in you.” You hummed in agreement but took your time rolling the latex down his shaft as you pulled him into another kiss, thoroughly enjoying the noises he made in response. Soft throaty sounds, little whines muffled by your lips. You would have been happy just jerking him off except for the needy throbbing between your legs that made you hyper aware of how empty you were. “Lie back for me,” he said softly as soon as you pulled your hand away. You did as requested, settling back against the pillows once more. Ben nudged your legs open wider and finally sank into you, both of you gasping at the feeling. You moaned softly when he slowly pulled back and thrust forward again, wrapped your legs around him because it was the only way you could think of to get him closer. Carefully he took one of your hands in his, laced his fingers through yours and then repeated it with the other hand, holding them against the mattress as he fucked into you. His forehead dropped to yours as he let a curse slip into the air, “Didn’t a-appreciate your pussy enough last time. So fucking tight.” You couldn’t think how to respond, just squeezed his hands, your breath catching in your throat as he rolled his hips against you. He kept the pace steady as he caught your lips again, less coordinated kisses that didn’t always get you full on the mouth as you moved with each measured thrust. Each one seemed to make it harder for you to breathe, your breaths coming in short pants, often accompanied by small whiny noises as you felt yourself getting close again. “Yeah?” Ben asked against your ear, a response to a particularly drawn out whine, “that good, huh?” If you’d been able to form coherent sentences you would have come up with some sort of witty way to tell him you needed more stimulation to actually get off. Instead all you managed to do was stumble through the words close, please, more as he nibbled on your earlobe. “Show me,” he rasped, releasing one of your hands so you could slip it between your bodies. I wasn’t long before the speed of your fingers on your clit outstripped Ben’s movement, your growing need to finish pushing you to rub faster, press harder. He groaned into your neck as you finally hit the edge and pulsed around him, pulled out before it became too much. You let your legs fall from where you’d hooked them around him though you whined at the loss. “Don’t worry,” he said softly as he took your hand and lifted it from your cunt, “more where that came from.” Ben pulled your hand towards him, leaning in to close the gap and suck your fingers into his mouth. You were sure you could have cum from that alone if he hadn’t already made you cum twice.

It didn’t make it easy to catch your breath or calm down entirely, but Ben was content to wait, thoroughly cleaning your fingers before he released them. He pressed a kiss to the inside of your wrist before he let you take your hand back. You let out a shaky breath as you looked up at him and almost laughed, “Jesus,” He stroked your leg gently, “Still one more to go, if you’re up for it. Not too sensitive?” “A little but I should be okay.” “Good. I really wanna give you that nickname. Annoy everyone else with how fucking adorable we are” “Shouldn’t have reminded me what the stakes are, maybe I am too sensitive,”

“What if I said I just wanted to fuck you until I cum then? More acceptable?” That did make you laugh, “Much more acceptable.” Ben grinned, his tongue darting out from between his teeth, and then readjusted your position. His arm wrapped around your hips, pulling you up into the air, as he leaned on the other and slid back in, deeper than before. “This okay?” “Y-yeah, yes,” As soon as he knew you were okay with the new position he began moving, faster than before. The angle he held you in meant he was hitting your sweet spot consistently which, aside from feeling good, meant your clit got a bit of a break. It felt even better when he dropped his head forward and gently tugged on your nipple with his teeth. You brought one hand up to grab his hair as he switched to soothing the nipple with his tongue. You had a hard time getting out anything other than a few curses and his name as his thrusts became more urgent but Ben had no trouble telling you how good you felt. Well, some trouble. His words came out stuttered and breathless and interrupted by curses of his own or sometimes muffled by your breasts. But that was a turn on in itself. Hearing Ben losing control, coming apart, because of you. It was enough to make you want to cum faster so you could hear him moan through his own release. You remembered what he sounded like last time and were eager to hear it again. So once again you let your fingers find your clit, shivering at the slight discomfort as you tried to match Ben’s rhythm. “God I’m gonna,” you managed to choke out, fingers tightening in Ben’s hair. “P-please Y/N, cum. I ne-ed you to cum.” Your voice caught in your throat as you tipped over the edge again, Ben doing his best to hold you up as he lasted about a second longer, pretty moans spilling from his lips.

***

Afterwards you could barely find it in you to move. You stumbled on jelly legs towards the bathroom as Ben cleared away the condom and straightened the sheets, ready for you to curl up with him. You had just enough energy to fall into bed and lean your head on his chest. He pulled the covers over your legs and stroked your hair with one hand, his fingers catching in the odd tangle though he was careful not to pull too hard. His other hand smoothed up and down your arm, so gently it took you a few passes to notice. He was quiet for a while, watching you relax against him. And then, seemingly out of nowhere, “Think that means I win, right cuddle bunny? Or do you prefer honey bunch? Snuggle bug? Sugar bear? I could go on,” “I think cuddle bunny might actually be the lesser of all those evils,” you mumbled. “You sure that’s not cause you got used to it and now you kinda like it?” You gave a non-committal hum in response. Ben’s chest shook as he laughed but he protested when you made to sit up, assuring you he liked having you leaning on him like that, “Told you before, I like being the boyfriend and what kind of a boyfriend would I be if I didn’t let you use me as a pillow?” You couldn’t help but smile when you heard Ben refer to himself that way, happily settling back against him. He was right, the title suited him. You couldn’t wait to introduce him as such to Felicity and your other friends.

You stayed in Barcelona with Ben for a few weeks. Once or twice you snuck a peek at a gossip blog or a twitter hashtag, but most people’s attention seemed to be diverted from you onto other unlucky couples. There were a few threads about you not being home and a handful of photos of Ben and other cast mates taken from their Instagram accounts, sometimes accompanied by speculation of if their relationship was purely professional, but nothing much else. You were both thankful for that. It was easier to find your feet as an actual real couple without being hounded about it or seeing speculation about yourselves. You were free to visit restaurants and tourist spots on dates, explore the city together on days Ben wasn’t filming, just be more or less normal. A few times you accompanied Ben to set or out with the rest of the cast, listening in as they teased him for how much happier he was now that you’d arrived. There were a couple of sticky beak questions about the breakup the first time you joined them for dinner, but you laughed it off as nothing more than misinformed rumours and they readily believed you. Aside from being contractually obligated to keep the secret, it was just easier to pretend the previous few months had been real than try to explain it all. Of course, pretending was made all the easier by Felicity and Joe knowing. Joe had been happy when Ben told him the good news. He’d been a little annoyed too and threated Ben with the silent treatment, claiming it’s what he deserved for being so stupid, the sudden click of him hanging up startling you both. Ben’s phone rang again about thirty seconds later as Joe called back to claim responsibility for your reunion. “I totally knew you idiots liked each other and if I hadn’t helped, Y/N never would have got to Spain.” Ben leaned in to where his phone rested on the table, speaker on, “If you knew why didn’t you tell me she was into me?” “Pretty sure I tried! But you were too hung up on being all heartbroken to listen to me.” “Umm incorrect,” “Should have heard yourself man, boo hoo Y/N doesn’t love me like I love her, wah wah wah. Didn’t want to hear anything else.” Ben flashed you a disapproving look when you let out a snort of laughter and then turned back to the phone, “You’re such a dickhead,” “Call me cupid, Benny boy, I’m the reason you’re not crying in the shower anymore.” “You’re fucking full of it, cupid,” “Go on Y/N, tell him I’m right,” “Well,” you said, trying not to laugh again, “Joe did tell me where to find you,” “Exactly!” came the shout from the phone, “Y/N, I’ll give you some of the credit for actually flying to Spain, but It’s like 85% down to me.” “You should meet my friend Felicity. You’d get along.”

On quieter days when everyone was doing their own thing and neither of you felt much like leaving the suite, you’d sit around and help Ben learn his lines or stretch over his lap and work on a crossword puzzle together. Although, that was if you made it out of bed. Ben ran through his condoms in the first week you were there, both of you eager to make up for the missed opportunities and all the time you’d spent pining for each other. More than once he came back to the hotel to find you wearing nothing but one of his shirts, which invariably ended with him between your legs in one way or another. Or, when he was flushed and sweaty from whatever action scene he’d been filming that day, he’d slyly announce he needed a shower and suggest you join him. But eventually the real world called, quite literally, in the form of Mary letting you know you’d got the part in the witch movie. It deserved a celebratory drink out at a bar the cast had found, where you and Ben riled each other up so much you had no choice but to relieve the tension the minute your door was shut behind you. And then again first thing the next morning. Unfortunately, you couldn’t stay more than a few days after that. You had to fly back home and begin prepping for your new role. Thankfully it was being filmed around London, saving you from having to head out to the US straight after getting home from Spain. But it did mean leaving Ben, an occurrence neither of you were thrilled about, feeling like you’d not had as much time together as you would have liked. You decided to do something special for your last night so Ben booked a table at a nearby restaurant. He met you there straight from set, wearing nice pants and a dressy shirt rather than the trackpants and ratty tee you'd seen him in that morning, where you surprised him with a bouquet of flowers similar to those he’d given you on your make-up date so long before. “I love them,” Ben laughed, kissing your cheek as he pulled you into a hug, “I think the colours make my eyes pop,” You playfully shoved him away towards the restaurant but he grabbed your hand and pulled you against him. He was about to kiss you when a familiar clicking sound distracted him. Both you and Ben looked around, surprised and confused, and saw a young woman walking down the street, fingers quickly taping against her phone. Ben ushered you inside the restaurant and, as soon as you took your seats, pulled out his phone. “Bad news. She tweeted it.” “Guess that means the honeymoon’s over,” you sighed. “And we were so close too. Fucking busted with about 10 hours to go.” “Oh well. S’pose everyone was gonna find out anyway. If it wasn’t now it would have been in a few weeks when you get back home.” “Not like we aren’t used to it. So how about,” he poured you both a glass of water from the bottle on the table, “a toast. To being so fucking interesting the whole world wants to know if we’re fucking.” You laughed as you clinked your glass against his a took a sip.

The pre-production part of your new movie kept you busy which had its pros and cons. On one hand it was tiring and a lot of new information to take in. On the other it kept you distracted from the distance between you and Ben and the barrage of questions you were receiving about him daily. You met the women who were playing your sisters and spent a lot of time rehearsing with them, particularly focused on learning how to pronounce the spells you’d be casting and the names of the potions you’d be mixing. Ben chuckled when you told him you’d spent an hour being coached on how to pronounce a single word, a process which included a basic Latin lesson and lots of repetition. “Well at least I didn’t end up with a black eye from it,” you said, pointing at him through the video chat screen. Over the weeks you’d been apart you’d relied heavily on phone conversations and face time calls to keep in contact. There’d been a visit or two when you had the chance but both of you were busy and keen not to be splashed through every gossip rag around so they were few and far between. The calls were easier, more private, and quickly became part of your wind down routine – come home, snuggle up on the couch, and talk to Ben for a few hours. “Hardly having fun if you can’t accidentally get knocked out by a poorly thrown weapon,” “I beg to differ, but you do you Benny,” you laughed, reaching for your coffee. The mug Ben had painted for you. He smiled when he saw it. “Aside from learning Latin and not being beaten up on a daily basis, how’s the movie going?” Ben asked as he reached behind him to adjust the pillow he was leaning against. “God it's been so good so far. The girls are so lovely and fun to be around. Plus, y’know, as someone who spent a lot of her childhood making mud potions in the backyard and playing Harry Potter, getting to run around throwing spells and stuff is kind of a dream come true.” He laughed again, “you’re such a nerd, I love you.” “Shut up. How’s it going in Spain?” “Well I have a black eye and I miss you so... Nah, it’s all going really well. Copped a bit of shit after you left,” Ben rolled his eyes, “apparently I was depressed. But this shoot has been so good. Gonna be kinda sad to be done.” “How much longer have you got?” “Couple of weeks, I think.” “You should come over to mine when you land, I’ll cook you dinner,” “Yeah? I’d like that.” “Course you will, nice home cooked meal, a blowjob, what’s not to like.” “I’ll let you know when my flight is so you can prepare – buy ingredients, do jaw stretches. What’re you laughing for? I’m serious, we both know how big I am.” He laughed, breaking the façade of seriousness as his tongue stuck out between his teeth. “Are you ready for it?” “Beyond ready, I miss sex.” “Not what I meant. There were a few paps waiting for me at the airport last time I was coming back from visiting you. Mostly yelling questions about if we’re really back together.” “How bad is it?” “Not as much attention as we were getting while we were doing press for the movie but it’s pretty annoying.” “They’ll calm down. After they see us a few times and they find someone else to lose their shit over.” “Yeah, probably. But you’re still good with this happening, even with the extra attention?” “Y/N, babe, we talked about this already. We always knew it was likely to happen and nothing’s changed since then. I still want to be with you.” “Just checking,” “I know. Now, I don’t have to be on set for another half hour so why don’t you tell me more about this blowjob I can expect.”

Ben was right, though it took longer to die down than you’d have liked. Felicity alerted you to a number of articles both in print and online after Ben got home. It almost felt like the days of promoting The Perfect Match – photos of you walking hand in hand and sitting at cafes and sneaking kisses on street corners being tweeted and commented on, articles about your latest date and speculation on if another breakup with imminent. The difference was this time you didn’t recognise the people taking the pictures. But, after a month or so, when it became clear you weren’t going to start arguing in fancy French restaurants again the magazines and websites started posting less and less. “It’s like Mary said,” Ben shrugged when you brought it up, “people like conflict and we’re not giving them any.” And that was true. Without the pressure of keeping your feelings hidden from each other or yourselves you were less prone to sulky silences and terse words. Plus no one was telling you to break up for attention. In fact, the months after Ben came back from Spain were better than you’d let yourself believe they would be. You were still working on the witch movie, working title: Toil and Troubles, spending most days and some nights bent over cauldrons of smoking liquid nitrogen and pink slime, or running through forests hoping your pronunciation was correct. Ben visited, sometimes to take you out to lunch or to drop off items you’d left at his place that you were bound to need. Convenient excuses. But welcome nonetheless. At the very least it was good practice for when you introduced him to your friends and family. Felicity insisted on meeting the man who’d caused her best friend so much heartache within the first week of his arrival, a situation that gave you more anxiety than any of the paparazzi ever would. But your worries were for nothing. Ben was perfectly charming and took Felicity’s one or two snide comments with good grace and a suitable amount of remorse. She pulled you aside later to let you know she approved and could see why you liked him so much. You breathed a sigh of relief at that, not needing her approval but glad to have it anyway. That first meeting made you less nervous about the ones that followed, even when it came to your blood relatives. And then, of course, you had to make good on your promise to his mum. He’d had to smooth things over with his family first, having made such a big deal about breaking up with you before he took off to Spain. They’d been surprised when he told them things weren’t working, having believed you quite happy during your visit, and more surprised when they saw you were back together. But if they thought Ben was making a mistake with rekindling the romance they didn’t show it. Angela and Keith welcomed you back to their home with warm smiles and more food than the four of you could eat. You left, still giggling at some of Ben’s baby photos, with a plate of leftovers in one hand and an invitation to come back soon.

It wasn’t until after Toil and Troubles wrapped that you decided to move in together. Ben suggested it casually one night while you were eating dinner in front of a rerun of Friends, the one where Chandler moves in with Monica. The suggestion was accompanied by a joke about how you’d been dating for nearly a year if you counted all the Perfect Match stuff, but you knew he wasn’t really joking. You’d been thinking about it too. You flipped a coin to see who’d be selling their place and didn’t complain when it was you. Ben’s house was already your second home, might as well make it your only one. Luckily, with your movie having started post-production, neither of you were filming and so were free to jump into the process of packing and decluttering and moving. It wasn’t long before you were carrying a box of your clothes up the stairs of Ben’s house, your house now. He followed with another, dumping it in the middle of his living room and telling Felicity to put hers down with it as he ran out to help one of his mates with a bookshelf. The requisite pizza was bought for lunch and beer provided as thanks for everyone’s help before they left, leaving you and Ben with a living room full of boxes and no inclination to go through them. Instead you weaved your way through the blockades, flopping, exhausted, onto the couch. You stretched out, Ben laughing as he lay on you, his head on your chest. “Just a little break,” he said with a yawn and before you knew it you’d both dozed off, warn out from the days exertions.

You woke to Ben digging through the box closest to your head. “Which one of these has all your kitchenware?” he asked when he saw you watching him. “Should say kitchen on the top in blue sharpie, why?” He stood up and walked to another stack, shifting a box off the top of the pile, muttering the word kitchen to himself over and over. You let him search, taking a moment to stretch out the stiffness from napping on the couch. “Did you see those magazines Felicity left?” he asked as he moved another box out of the way. “No, where are they?” “Kitchen bench. You’ll laugh.” You ducked into the kitchen and opened the first one, a copy of Woman’s Weekly, flicking through the pages until you were met with an image of you and Ben walking down the street together. He was looking at his phone and you were talking, head turned toward him. A red circle drew attention to your hand and underneath it was a slightly blurry close up of the same section. Scanning the paragraphs beside the photos the word engaged jumped out at you making you snort. “Knew you’d find it funny,” Ben said, peeking over your shoulder. “It’s not even a proper ring, just some cheap costume jewellery. And it’s on the wrong finger. Bloody hell they’re desperate.” “Look at the other one,” Ben stuck the kettle on to boil, glancing over to watch you as he opened his cupboard of mugs. You pulled the issue of Heat out and riffled through its pages too. “Oh my god,” Ben laughed, “I know right! Pregnant, really?” “I’m never wearing that dress again. In fact I’m going to go find whichever box it’s in and throw it in the donations bag right now,” Ben caught you around the waist before you could take a step, “Don’t do that cuddle bunny,” he pouted, “I love you in that dress. One of my favourites.” “Because it’s easy to take off?” “Because you look cute in it. Being easy to take off is just a bonus,” he pulled you in close and kissed you as you laughed, “speaking of, with you moving in we’ll have to give you a proper welcome. I’m thinking start up against the front door, work out way through every room,” he pinched your bum suddenly, just to emphasise what he meant. “Cool your jets horndog, gotta move boxes out of the way before we can even get to the front door. And I think I need a coffee before I even think about sorting boxes.” “It’s a good thing I was about to make us coffee then. I found your kitchenware by the way.” You looked for the first time at the counter where Ben had set out the makings of coffee. There, amongst the canister of sugar and bottle of milk sat two mugs. The two mugs you’d decorated for each other, side by side.

#my writing #my fics #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy smut #ben hardy imagine #i love writing 2 fucking idiot doofuses #i think they earned this fluff

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vanchlo · 5 years

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The Assistant / Chapter Twenty Five, “A New Hope”

// FIND OLD CHAPTERS HERE //

hi!!!! i hope you’re all doing okay and hanging in there during this crazy time in the world. please know that im thinking of you, and please stay safe and healthy!!! id love to hear what you think of this chapter so plz like reply with thoughts or send me an ask??? id love to talk to anybody about this story bc it sounds weird but i love this story too???? like tell me what was your fav part??? what do you predict is gonna happen?

thanks so much for still reading after all of this time, and i hope this chapter distracts you from some of the crap going on in the world ♡♡♡♡

*SNEAK PEEKY TIME*

“But some moments when I’m so deep into my work, a thought pops into my head making me think that I’ll look up and see him there. Or some days I even think I hear his voice. Or I think the text I just got was from him.

None of that happens.

And it upsets me far more than it should. Some days I’m just better at ignoring it.

I couldn’t have wished for a better “new job,” but sometimes I miss him. And I don’t know what to do about it. Because there isn’t anything I can do. I know I made the right decision to leave, but in the moments I get overwhelmed and frustrated with learning new tasks, I wish I could be sitting back in that desk down the hall from his office.”

PART TWO: THE STRANGER

The noises here are all new and hard to get used to. The printer works differently. It’s like a maze in order to find the department I work in. There are key codes I have to put in and doors I have to scan my badge at. There are so many more names to learn here, and new phone extensions to master.

But I like it.

And I think I’m getting the hang of it. Slowly but surely.

“It’s Becky, right?” a voice says, pulling me from my chaotic thoughts.

I blink, looking away from my steaming cup of tea and to the face smiling at me.

“Uh yeah, it is. And you’re . . . Molly, right?”

“Yeah, wow! You’re good at names!” she laughs before sipping from her own cup of tea and taking a seat beside me. “How are you liking it here so far?”

“It’s good so far, thanks,” I reply, picking up my tea and blowing on it. Avoiding her round brown eyes, I think hard about where I’ve seen her before. She must be in the same department if she’s in this break room. Hmmm. I hate it when I can’t remember things even though it’s on the tip of my tongue.

“You used to work for Styles and Lawson, did I hear that right?” Molly asks before taking a long pull from her mug. She crosses her legs clad in black slacks that end at the polka-dotted blouse hugging her large chest.

If I got a pound for every time somebody has asked me that here, I wouldn’t even have to work here.

“Yeah,” I say, trying not to sound how annoyed I am to have to answer this question for the hundredth time. I told my new boss this once, and somehow everybody in the Administration department now knows it.

“Interesting. It looks like you stayed in the same world coming to work at the courts,” she remarks and I nod blankly.

Yeah, as if I haven’t heard that one before in the last month, too.

I continue to smile and nod at her repetitive questions. I sometimes answer them and then listen to her drone on about her three kids until the small hand reaches the 6 on the clock and my break is over. I’ve never been so excited before to go back to work.

Sitting down at my desk, I almost smile at the way the cushion welcomes me back. Framed pictures smile back at me.

Skye and I. Robbie and I as kids in matching outfits. My dad. My grandparents.

The same ones I had on my old desk. At his firm.

My chin arrives in my hand and a heavy sigh falls from my lips. The little pink clock on my desk tells me it’s only 12:30 in the afternoon.

I wonder what he’d be doing right now.

My eyes fall shut with a groan. I try to shake my head free of those kinds of thoughts. The very thoughts I’ve been trying to push away this last month. But after so long, it’s almost too hard. I thought that the more time that passed would make it easier, but some days it’s harder than others.

I really like it here. Everybody is nice and helpful. My boss is easygoing, supportive, communicates well, and helps me with any questions I may have. My workload is realistic, it’s familiar, and I enjoy it.

But some moments when I’m so deep into my work, a thought pops into my head making me think that I’ll look up and see him there. Or some days I even think I hear his voice. Or I think the text I just got was from him.

None of that happens.

And it upsets me far more than it should. Some days I’m just better at ignoring it. I couldn’t have wished for a better “new job,” but sometimes I miss him. And I don’t know what to do about it. Because there isn’t anything I can do. I know I made the right decision to leave, but in the moments I get overwhelmed and frustrated with learning new tasks, I wish I could be sitting back in that desk down the hall from his office. I tell myself that I just miss the familiarity. But I know that I also miss him.

His sweet cherry smile.

His contagious laugh.

His bizarre outfits that I looked forward to every day.

His twinkling green eyes.

The taco dates.

The late-night hangouts in his office with wine coolers and take away.

The silly yet frustrating Scrabble games.

His smell. Sandalwood mixed with bergamot and cedar.

And his jokes.

His raspy deep drawl.

And his warm bear hugs.

Pressing my fingers into my temples, I blink hard. The thoughts disappear for a second, but not long enough. I lift my head and settle my fingers on the letters of the keyboard. The login screen is only blurry for a moment, and the moment passes. But the ache in my chest and the racing inside of my skull doesn’t stop. They only continue as I open up a document and continue my work, as I continue missing him.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to stop.

12:30 right on the dot.

The black second-hand ticks past the three nears the four, and then the five. Fat snowflakes fall against my foggy window, blanketing the rest of London in its opaqueness. The words of David Gilmour and Roger Waters tickle my ears, but I don’t listen to them. The thoughts whirring around inside of my head keep them out.

I wonder what she’s doing right now.

Is she liking her new job?

Are they being nice to her?

Did she already eat lunch?

Are any blokes flirting with her?

Does she have her own desk?

What kind of place does she work at now?

Is she happy?

That thought weighs heavier than the others, and I feel it. My lips part and a long sigh leaves them.

Knock knock!

“Yeah?” I call out, not bothering to turn around. The bustling of double-deckers, cars, and people on the streets are more entertaining than any emails I should be reading.

“Harry, are you going to join us?” I hear a familiar voice ask.

“Yeah, ‘ll be there inna minute,” I answer, ignoring the tone of Myles’ voice.

The sound of the door closing trickles past the music and into my ears. My head falls into my hands and I let my eyes close. My fingers find their way into my hair and I remain there for a second, feeling my breaths leave and enter me.

I miss you, Becks.

A few breaths later, my fingers fall. Now, they find the closed laptop sitting near me and the leather book atop it. Next, my feet find their way to the door. But they stop in front of it. All of the moisture in my throat suddenly disappears, and a giant old lump appears in its place.

Oh, not again.

I breathe in and out and wait until it passes.

My ringed fingers wrap around the handle and turn it. Swallowing past the lump, my feet move again and down the hall. Knuckling at my eyes, I round the corner and quickly wipe at my eyes.

“You okay, Harry?” Myles asks me, welcoming me when I sit down beside him in the large meeting room.

“Yeah, jus’ got somethin’ in me eye,” I tell him, gulping hard. But there’s something in his ocean blue eyes that says different. He’s been a blessing putting up with my shit and excuses, but I think he knows more than he lets on. He’s always cared more than he shares.

He pats my arm before he turns to face Jennings who begins to talk. “It’ll be alright, it always is,” he mentions in a whisper.

I nod and turn my attention to Jennings. But no matter how hard I try, I can’t. I can’t focus, and I can’t believe him. Because the chaos of my mind continues. And so do the pictures of her scattered around in there. And so do the feelings, because no matter how hard I try to shut them off, they stay. Even after a bottle of brandy. But the alcohol doesn’t make me stop missing her, and hating myself for messing up. And for losing Becks.

Alex Trebek’s voice welcomes my ears as I step foot into my flat. I jump when I hear Skye shout back at him.

“What is Little Women!” she nearly screams, and her arms fly into the air when she gets it right. “Yessssss!” she exclaims, cheering for herself. Her pigtails the color of snow and blue cotton candy dance in the air around her.

I laugh with a shake of my head, sighing as I shrug off my coat.

“Oh hey, Boops,” she greets me, garnering an eye roll from me.

“You know not to call me that,” I reply, closing the closet door that now holds my peacoat damp from the winter flurries.

“I think I’m one of the few people allowed to call you that,” she replies, and I give her a glare in return.

To no surprise, it doesn’t do anything, because she just picks up another gummy worm and feeds it between her lips coated in neon pink lipstick.

“What, did your clients cancel their haircuts and colors because of the blizzard?” I ask her, padding over to the kitchen island.

“Yeah, bloody idiots forgot how to drive in the snow or something,” she nearly hisses, but it doesn’t last long because she yells another answer at the tv. “What is the Mariana Trench!”

“Skye, we have neighbors you know,” I scold her as my eyes search the shelves of our refrigerator. “Also, would it kill you to do some grocery shopping, perhaps before we’re snowed in?”

“Yeah sorry, I meant to but I forgot.”

“What’s new,” I mumble under my breath. I grab the first thing of leftovers I see and pop it into the microwave. Rice and broccoli from last night. It’s just so exciting eating healthily. “You’re on grocery shopping duty next then.”

“Have you seen Harry yet at your new job?” Skye pipes up, ignoring my question. I truly wonder how many times I roll my eyes at her in one day or even one hour.

“No, I told you that I’m in like the way back in the admin department in the courts. He would be on the other side in the actual courtrooms where the cases are held, silly.”

“Oh well sorrrrrrrrrry,” she retorts and then yells another answer at the tv. “Who is Martin Clunes!”

The microwave beeps as I reach up into the cupboard and pull down a mug at random. It has superheroes donning its sides - Batman, Superman, and Wonderman. An old one of my dad’s. But that’s not who it makes me think of.

“Funnier is not a word!”

“Oh yes, it ‘s! Jus’ look it up in tha dictionary, or better yet, on yer phone,” he giggles in reply. Shaking my head, I type the word into Google and feel a smirk begin to warm my cheeks.

“Oh god, what ‘s that look for? I know that look’s no good.”

“So funnier is a word, huh?” I counter, feeling the smirk inch up my cheeks slowly. Turning my phone around, I show the Google page to him and watch his face morph into denial. A sneaky grin lines his lips as he resists to roll his eyes. His head falls next with a defeated sigh and he punches the pillow.

“Don’t you roll your eyes at me, Harry Styles,” I tell him, my lips letting loose a laugh. He joins me before groaning and taking his word off of the board.

“I needa break,” he huffs. The sofa whines from his shifting weight and I hear his footsteps trailing behind him.

“Tea break?” I ask and hear a pleased ‘yes’ in return.

“Here lemme, ‘s my turn anyways,” Harry insists, and I feel his hand on my back. Facing him, he winks a hazel-green eye at me. “Go pick yer word, Becks. Lemme take care of tha tea.”

I nod and begin to turn to walk away. I almost stop when I feel his long fingers rub a circle into my back. But I don’t, because they’re gone before I can blink. A silent sigh drops from my bottom lip as I walk away from him.

You have no idea what you do to me, Harry Styles.

The thoughts being sewn together in my mind revolve around something other than the Scrabble tiles sitting in front of me. Instead, they’re about how well the skinny blue jeans hug his legs and another asset of his. And how the black and blue flannel he wears makes him look insanely cozy. My God.

“Don’ think so hard, Becks,” Harry titters, and I pull my eyes away from the Scrabble tiles that were beginning to grow blurry. I look to him with a question on my face and find him laughing with those eyes on me. “Can’t find any good words, eitha?”

“No,” I say with a shake of my head. I let my head fall to the back of the sofa I’m curled up against.

“Tha’s fine. Why dontcha put it t’ tha side an’ we can do somethin’ else?”

“Like what?” I ask, moving our racks of tiles to the coffee table where the board sits.

“I dunno, you can pick,” he answers. As I grab for the remote, I hear the pouring of water and the clinking of spoons.

Yawning, I sink into the sofa and press the power button. The television screen comes to life in front of me and the last thing watched appears. I flip through the channels, and after a couple of programs, I arrive on a familiar scene.

“Oooo, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince,” I hear, turning to find Harry arriving on the sofa next to me. I take the steaming Marvel mug in his outstretched hand with a ‘thank you.’

“I didn’t know you liked Harry Potter,” I mumble before blowing on my tea. After deciding it’s far too hot, I sit forward and set it down on a coaster.

“Oh, I love it. I read a few o’ tha books when I was younger, an’ ya can’t find a betta movie. There’s nothin’ like these,” he answers, eyes already glued to the screen. He sets his tea aside with a clud on the table. “Here,” Harry says, and I look over to find him draping my velvet black star blanket over me. And him.

“Mmmm, thanks,” I mumble happily, pulling it up to my shoulders. I feel him move around next to me before finally getting comfortable.

“Yer welcome, bug. I think this issa good way t’ spend tha resta tha night. Too cozy an’ tired t’ do anythin’ else,” he comments with a laugh ending his words.

I nod and tip my head to the side, not expecting to find his shoulder right there. I freeze and peek a look up at him. He notices and glances down at me. All he does is smile at me before his eyes go back to the scene on the television.

I decide to stay there and he doesn’t seem to mind, only intent on commenting on the scene happening where Dumbledore first meets Voldemort. “Oooo, I like this part here. They make it look so cool with tha wisps o’ memories, an’ tha lighting ‘s incredible an’ so spooky.”

“Mmmmh, I always liked Tom Riddle, because of how creepy he is. And he’s much better looking than Voldemort,” I comment.

“What?” Harry laughs, taking a peek at me. His thick eyebrows are scrunched in a disbelieving question as a smile pinches his dimpled cheeks. “But Tom Riddle ‘s Voldemort, ya goof.”

“Yeah I know, but like his younger self is far cuter than the noseless bald bloke he becomes,” I try to explain, but he only shakes his head with a few giggles.

God, I think I could listen to that sound for hours on end.

“Ya don’ make any sense, sometimes,” Harry chuckles.

“Come on, yes I do! Wasn’t it like with every Horcrux he made he just started looking weirder?” I counter, nudging his shoulder with my own.

“No, ya silly! It was cuz he was so deep into tha dark arts-.”

“Including making the Horcruxes!” I almost shout in argument. I watch the realization embed into his features, and I know I’ve won.

“Okay fine, yer right. Well kinda. From what I rememba it has t’ do with that, an’ cuz he was a Slytherin an’ Parselmouth so he wanted t’ look like a snake. Y’know, tha lack o’ hair an’ nose? I also read that it could also be cuz he was one o’ tha last descendants of Salazar Slytherin,” Harry continues, words of admiration falling out one after the other.

“Woooooow. I didn’t know we had a Harry Potter geek in the house,” I say, trying to stifle a laugh, but it doesn’t work.

Another eye roll.

Then possibly the most adorable pout I’ve ever seen as he moves away from me with a whimper.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I laugh, trying to pull him back over to me. But he’s so tall and long, that I have little success with my noodle arms. “Harry, I was just kidding.”

“Sure ya were,” he pouts, keeping his back to me as he settles on the other side of the couch.

His name leaves my lips in a laugh. My fingers remain around one of his biceps, and I pull, but he doesn’t move an inch. I give up with an exaggerated sigh and my own whimper.

Plopping myself back in my spot, I hunker down underneath the blanket. Pretending to watch the movie, I wait.

“Yer not gonna get me with that pout,” Harry says all of a sudden.

Taking that as a dare, I slowly look over at him. With knitted eyebrows and my bottom lip sticking out. A smile appears on his lips and blush fills his cheeks. His hands fall from his shoulder-length hair he’s just put into a bun.

“Fine, ya got me. I can’ stay mad at that face,” he relents with words dipped in sugar.

“You’re not the only one who can do a good puppy dog pout,” I comment as the couch dips with his movements. I feel his shoulder bump back into mine. I try not to smile too big as I tip my head to fall back against his shoulder.

“Ya comfy, bug?” Harry mumbles next to me.

“Mmmhmmm.”

“Good, ‘m glad me shoulder’s all comfy for ya,” he says, and I can hear the smile in his voice. I see it in all its glory when I chance a look up at him and find him smiling down at me.

It’s like looking into the sun. And like all of the times before - I never want to look away.

I swallow hard, feeling the lump forming inside of me.

“Can you please not bring him up anymore? It’s not helping the fact that I’m trying to forget him,” I spit at Skye, setting the mug down hard on the granite countertop.

“Sorrrrrrrrrry. Goodness, what’s gotten into you today? I thought you were liking your new job, Ree.”

“I am, I just don’t want to talk a-about Harry anymore,” I reply, pressing the button to open the microwave. The smell of broccoli and garlic trickles past me.

“You can’t even say his name,” she laughs, and I groan as I stir the broccoli and brown rice around in the hot glass bowl. “Heeeey, I’m sorry, okay? I don’t know why you gave up on him, you could always go back and finish your . . .”

Skye’s words trail behind me as my feet pad down the hallway to my bedroom. You’re not helping me to forget him, Skye.

You’re only making me remember him, and I’ve been trying so hard lately not to.

My quilt several shades of pink welcomes my return as I plop onto my bed. Shoveling a bite of broccoli and garlic rice into my mouth, I grab the remote and turn on my tv. Reaching for the Fire Stick remote teetering on the edge of the table, I push it and instead of grab. It clatters to the hardwood floor and I groan in response. Setting my dinner on the wood table, I regrettably leave my bed to retrieve it. Flicking on my lamp, I squat by the table and peer into the space behind my table.

There it is. The long black rectangle waits for me there. But just as I’m reaching for it, another rectangle catches my eye. This time, it’s a white one.

“Huh?” I mumble, feeling the stiff paper welcome my hands.

I flip it over and the light catches on it. The long envelope stares back at me, and so do the letters on its front. My name in black pen interrupts the white expanse, but that’s not the writing that I’m focusing on. It’s the return address.

Styles and Lawson 418 Stevens St. London UK

Turning it over, I finger at the sealed edge. I don’t realize I’m doing it, but I bite at my bottom lip as I debate whether to open it. I can’t stop wondering what’s inside, and the postage date of December 18th only makes my curiosity burn brighter. And the fact that I’ve never seen this before in my life.

“Skye, why do I have a letter from Styles and Lawson that I’ve never opened or seen before?” I yell to her through my half-open door.

“Oh, that? I put it on your bedside table when it came that day. How am I supposed to know why you haven’t opened it?” she quips, as dumbfounded as I am.

“It was behind my table, so it must have fallen.”

“Ya think?!” she replies with her usual loud volume, followed by another Jeopardy shout.

I rip it open without another moment of hesitation. The paper makes a satisfying sound. A matte white paper looks back at me. The numbers and watermark on it tell me what it is. My fingers recoil instinctively when I touch the glossy object. I instead pull it out by its edges.

Splashes of red and green and long-forgotten faces stare back at me. Myles. Mickey. Rose. Jennings. Myles. Rory. And Harry. Their faces are followed by the words “Merry Christmas from all of us at Styles and Lawson. Wishing you a happy Christmas and a fantastic New Year!” in a blocky white font. Little holly berry branches decorate the corners of the picture. A picture taken months ago at one of their big meetings, I assume. The sun is shining in through the window, and Harry’s hair isn’t as long. Everybody’s arms are around each other and a big goofy smile sits on his face. Tongue out and all.

I do it before I can stop myself. My finger dances around the outline of his face, and down the black and maroon suit he wears in the picture. Probably the only printed picture I have of him, and one of the few I have in total. But there are enough burned into my brain that I’m already trying to erase.

I toss them both onto the floor, leaving them behind my table where I wish they would’ve stayed in the first place. I return to my broccoli and rice and play a new video on YouTube. It does a good job of drowning out his voice in my head, but not good enough.

I want ya t’ come back, Becks. I want us t’ try again . . .. . . ..

Shades of brown dance around in the steaming water. I watch them twirl together and meet one another. The water slowly grows darker and darker as steam rises off of the surface.

“If you stare any harder, I think your superpowers will come out and it’ll explode,” somebody says wryly.

“Wow, I didn’ know you were a comedian,” I respond, wrapping my fingers around the warm metal chain.

“I didn’t know you were eco-friendly all of a sudden,” Myles says, nodding his head towards my cup of tea. “Or a little kid, with that dorky thing.”

“Oh shuddup,” I respond, watching the brown liquid fall from the pink silicone pig tea infuser. “It makes me feel good tryna save tha environment, an’ this li’l thing ‘s bloody cute.”

“Sure, if you’re a bleeding first-grader,” he responds with a titter, pulling a mug down from the shelf.

“Yer jus’ jealous,” I quip as I pry off the pig’s head and dump the soggy tea leaves into the waste bin.

Myles laughs and walks around me to the black fridge to take out the carton of milk. I blow on my steaming mug, watching little waves form in the brown water from my breath. A little water tornado forms from my next breath. I watch in fascination as it twirls around in the mug before finally tapering out.

“You okay, Hare?” Myles asks, his voice taking on a softer tone. A friendly tone. “You haven’t seemed like yourself lately. You haven’t even been drinking coffee much, and that’s odd.”

“I’m fine,” I answer, bringing the mug to my lips and avoiding his eye contact. Setting the mug down on the counter, I chance a look inside the fridge and wonder what to have for lunch.

“Is it Becky leaving? Is that why you’ve been acting differently?” Myles prods, nearly pulling a sigh from my lips. Or a groan.

“I said ‘m fine, My,” I nearly retorted, my eyes glazing over the lone yogurts and forgotten sandwiches occupying the shelves. Slamming the door, I walk away and pick up my phone from the table in the center of the room. Maybe some takeaway.

“Hare, you know you can talk to me about it,” Myles insists, throwing his hands up in the air. I ignore him, typing something on my phone, but I can see him out of the corner of my eye.

Like he often does, he uses his hands to talk and they jump in the air only to fall with an exasperated sigh. Then they comb through his tousled blonde hair.

“I hate seeing you like this, and not knowing how to help,” he continues softly. I give up, pressing the lock button on my phone and shoving it into my pants.

I finally face him and look in his distraught brown eyes.

“I miss her, Myles! I connected with Becky, a-and I screwed it up. I called her a liar and Amber was harassing her tha whole damn time without me knowing!” I confess, feeling the weight of the words fall from my shoulders as I finally say them. But the emotion rises in my throat, no matter how hard I try to hold it back. “She was amazing! She put up with me shit, and yet she stood up fer herself when she needed t’. She was funny, she was smart, she was beautiful, an’ I fooked it up!” The emotion eats at my words and by now, the horses are already out of their gates. And I don’t know how to corral them back in. “I hate feeling this way, but I dunno how you can help or even how I can help myself, Myles. So ‘m not g-gonna be myself ‘til I learn how t’ get ova this.”

I don’t know what to do. I steal a glance at him and find the sadness in his eyes is worse than before. I can’t handle it, and so I lift my feet and soon I’m walking out of the room. Leaving my tea, and the god awfully cute tea infuser pig. The one she got me before she left.

“I saw it and immediately thought of you.”

“Wow, thanks, that makes me feel all warm an’ bubbly inside.”

“No, silly, I just mean it looked like something you’d like. And since you drink tea so much. And you’ve been buying metal straws and bamboo toothbrushes . . It seemed fitting. And isn’t the little piggy just so cute?”

“Yeah, I guess yer right . . . it really ‘s cute.”

Winding my way around coworkers, I suddenly find myself in front of the elevator stabbing at the buttons. I don’t even register which one I’ve pushed, because I want to be anyplace but here. Today is worse than most because anywhere I look there’s a memory of her stuck there. And they jump into my head and start playing before I can stop it.

The elevator doors open with a ding and I step into the empty four walls, gladly. Rubbing at my eyes, I stab at the button for the parking garage my car is at. With a sigh, I feel some of the tension boiling inside of me leave. I get rid of the warm tears painted under my eyes and blink hard until my vision is clear again.

Suddenly, the doors open and I nearly curse out loud when I see who’s waiting. The look on his face says that he feels about the same way. I step to the side, allowing him room to join me. He almost changes his mind, but he steps on and presses the button for 17. An awkward silence surrounds us as the elevator hums to life, dinging with each floor it passes.

“Can I ask you a question?” I blurt out loud, doubting myself the second the words pass the threshold of my lips.

His confused gray eyes rise and lock with mine, a question on his face. “What?” he answers, nearly annoyed with me.

“I’m sorry, we’ve neva really talked and ‘ve neva been very nice t’ ya-,” I try, but he stops me.

“Yeah, you haven’t, Harry, and so why should I? The last time I did a favor for you it didn’t really turn out too great,” Asher responds sharply, moving further away from me shaking his head. Pulling his phone from his pocket, he changes his focus to that.

I look away and bite at my bottom lip.

Way to go, Harry.

But then the words are being shoved past my tongue and I can’t stop them.

“I . . . jus’ wanna know if she’s doin’ alright,” they say, and I’m not even sure if he heard me with how quiet they were.

Staring ahead, I see his head of blonde quiffed hair rise. He doesn’t say anything right away, but instead, he seems to think about it before he raises his head fully.

“She’s okay,” he responds, with certainty to his words. And with those words, they take a little more of the tension I feel coating my body.

“Good, ‘m glad t’ hear that . . . Is she uh liking her new job?”

“Yeah, she said it’s good. I dunno if I should be telling you this, but uh she found a clerk job in town. The same sorta thing as what she did here, which is good and makes switching jobs easier,” he continues, and I soak up every word because they’re about her. I wish I could hear these words from her mouth. But I can’t, and that’s my fault.

“A-an’ they’re good t’ her there?” I continue, not knowing how to articulate the rambling thoughts in my head.

“Yeah, they are,” Asher says, looking at me briefly. I look back and I watch his expression soften. “She’s doing well, Harry. She misses it here sometimes, but she’s adjusting and I think she’s where she needs to be right now.”

He doesn’t get to say anything more, because the elevator doors glide open.

“Thank you, Asher . . I really mean it,” I tell him, giving a small smile. He nods and steps off and out of sight.

And thus began our random elevator talks. I looked forward to them, even if they only lasted a couple minutes. And even if I only got to hear a vague update about her. And even if it made trying to forget her harder.

The halls are quiet. A ghost town from earlier in the day where hundreds of feet traveled, and even just twenty minutes ago. But it’s the lunch hour, and everybody else has the same idea as me. To leave. Now, my black mod boots are the only sound on the speckled floors. The tall ceilings hide fluorescent lights and the gorgeous stained glass also hides, but from the snow. Identical snowflakes fall in the sky outside, and I pull my coat tighter around me in preparation to join it.

The snowflakes melt in my hair and try to fly into my face, the wind pushing them this way and that. My car takes forever to warm up, making me curse myself for forgetting my matching violet hat and mittens on my desk. It only has just begun to warm up when I pull up in front of the towering brick building. Flocks of people rush to the doors from their cars, and the other way around. The vents blasting out warm air hush when I turn the key, bringing the chill with it.

Well, this is it. My lungs heave a nervous breath and I try to sike myself up to even just open the door. But my thoughts get the best of me, and strings of what-ifs and doubts circle in my mind.

What’s the point?

What if it turns out the same way as before?

What if I can’t do it?

What if I’m not good enough?

What if I made the right decision to leave?

Why should I try again?

What if I don’t like it anymore?

How can I do it by myself again when I never could the first time?

What if I fail?

Finally, I open the door and get out before I can stop. And I decide to leave all of the what-ifs and doubts there. Behind me. I focus on picking up my feet and putting one in front of the other until I’m standing in front of the familiar doors I haven’t stood before in a long time.

The warmth welcomes me and so does the familiar smells of books and fried chips. The smells I always associated with this place. Lines of people fill the entrance and conversations paint the air. The Christmas decorations are long gone, and new knick-knacks and flyers replace them. Instead, cheesy Easter decorations line the bulletin boards. Yellow baby chicks. Pink fluffy banners. Easter eggs colored in patchy by tiny hands. Colorful signs advertise local events, reminders, schedules, and many more things I don’t have the time for.

Pushing back the sleeve of my coat, I peek at my watch. I have 20 more minutes until I have to be back at work. Oh goodness, I hope I won’t regret this.

But I don’t think I will, because I’m finally doing something about all of the nagging thoughts and ideas I’ve had the last few weeks. And I’m proud of myself for at least taking the first step.

Stopping in front of the Information Desk, I’m met with a cheery smile asking me how they can help me.

“Hi, I was hoping to speak with an advisor, a Mrs. Shepherd,” I begin, feeling the words roll off my tongue with hesitance. I’m surprised with myself for even remembering the name.

“Do you have an appointment with her?” she responds, looking away from her computer she types on.

“No, I uh was just on my lunch break and I was hoping to meet with her to speak about something.”

“Alright. I’m going to need your name and what your question is for her,” the lady replies, looking between her computer screen and me. I pause, focusing on the fake yellow chick sitting atop her screen. Her heavily lined eyes wait for me behind her pink framed glasses, and her curly brown hair dances in the wind from her mini fan.

“My name is Rebecca Holte, and I wanted to speak with Sally about finishing up my last 30 credits of my law degree.”

#the assistant #fanfic #writing #harry styles #one direction #1d #harry #au #harry au #alternate universe #lawyer au #lawyer #pa harry #fine line

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alcalavicci · 5 years

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(Disclaimer: if either of you wrote this and don’t want it up, send me an ask and I’ll take it down)

Lisa and Laurie meet Dean:

Laurie: Well, I started talking [to Dean at Dragon*Con] and I reminded him that Lisa brought him a book of my poems last October. At which he said, "Oh, you're Laurie." He was so kind. I gave him a copy of the new book and asked him to sign mine, which he did. Then he . . . ."

Well, he leaned over to Jay, whispered something to him and then turned back to me and said, "I'd like to take you out to dinner." He looked at Lisa and said, "I want you to come too."

Just a moment before that he handed me his drink and I took a few sips of his scotch and soda. I was bowled over by that so when he asked us to dinner, I just mumbled, "Uh, sure." He had just checked in and didn't know where we could go. Lisa jumped right in with "The Marquis Steakhouse is good!" He said, "That's what we'll do" and suddenly we had dinner reservations with Dean at the most expensive restaurant in the building. <G>

We met Dean at seven at the restaurant. He got there first and was waiting for us. We had dinner with Dean Stockwell!!! At his invitation!!!

Exactly what happened at dinner will be in future posts when we're both more coherent. We're still in the clouds. Right now I wish I had more of Dean's scotch and soda. The man drinks good scotch. He's not as picky with wine. <g>

Part I: (by Lisa)

Hello all. My turn to tell some of the tale!

Okay...As Laurie has said, We were invited, by Dean himself to dinner on Friday night. This happened within five minutes of meeting him. Dean was so impressed with Laurie's poetry that he wanted more of a chance to talk to her about it. LOL...I think I was invited along because he didn't know what else to do with me. So, while Dean and Laurie talked I gave Jay the name of the restaurant again. The Marquis Steakhouse. Jay set it up for reservations for three at 7pm.

Laurie and I left the autograph section, the "Walk Of Fame" flying higher than air and shaking out of our skin. In just under six hours we were going to be having dinner with Dean! So, we took a walk outside to get some air before we both passed out. Everything was kind of a blur. I of course was on the cell calling my sisters and telling them all about it.

I honestly don't remember a lot of what happened in those hours of waiting. If I remember correctly, that is the day I had to lay down and take a nap. Ah, I'm IMing with Laurie as I write this and she's filling me in on a bit. I went back to my room to practice breathing and she went to the connecting mall for some "alone time."

We set up a time to meet down in the Atrium at "our" table and wait for 7pm.

I went about ironing the best outfit I had brought with me and trying to get my hair just right. (A very big task for me my hair is) Okay, okay...you all don't want to hear this part of it all. On to the good stuff.

Laurie just asked me to add this..... "This was a big deal for me. I had no expectations other than meeting him and giving him the poetry. I was stunned and amazed that he could even want to spend time with us at all. I had to be alone to begin to sort it all out and begin to believe it."

(And also from Laurie....."My hair is a lost cause and I was already wearing my best blouse so all I did was make sure my breath was okay and that my shoes were tied.")

So, we meet downstairs and sit at our table trying to pretend that our world is normal and that we aren't looking for Dean to walk past. At just a few minutes to 7:00 we make our way to the restaurant which is all of hmmm...200 feet away from us.

We enter, turn the corner and there standing with his back to us is Dean. Somehow how he got past us in the atrium and made it into the restaurant ahead of us. Yes, the gall of us, we left Robert Dean Stockwell waiting.

I spoke to him and he didn't hear me. I do believe now more than ever that our guy is a wee bit hard of hearing. Calvin the Maitre'd/diningroom supervisor then let Dean know that his guests were behind him. Dean turned to us and I have no idea what words were spoken or just how we made it to our table, but we were being seated.

Laurie and I sat across from each other and Dean sat to Laurie's left and to my right.

Oh, Laurie just asked me to add in that we requested the waiter we had had our first night there, Sylvester. We wanted only the best for Dean.

So, we're all seated and notice Dean has his laptop with him. He asked me to please move to the seat across from him, to Laurie's right. LOL...He told me I could move back if I wanted to in a bit, but hey, I was across the table from him now looking into his eyes. I wasn't going anywhere! Anyway, Dean sits his laptop on the table and again says something that my air starved brain can't remember. Laurie comments to him that this is all very surreal, to which Dean replies..."It's about to become even more surreal." During all of this, our waiter and the Maitre'd are fussing all around us. Filling glasses and tending to us and, LOL, hovering over us like a couple of very hunky well-dressed buzzards not missing a thing at our table.

So, after the "even more surreal" comment from Dean, he starts to slide his laptop around and with a great amount of grace knocks his water glass over and sends it spilling my way like Niagara Falls! Laurie said Dean's face turned several shades of red. (Laurie just added this..."He was so red I thought it was apoplexy! His eyes rolled up into his head just like Al does every so often on QL.") I couldn't tell you because to busy wondering if I was going to drown. I do however remember hearing Dean say, "Great way to start off the night." Honestly, like he was worried about impressing us? He was so embarrassed. And the staff went crazy. They wanted us to switch tables, they wanted to change the table cloth. They were beside themselves.

Side note from Laurie: "Dean wasn't fussy and fretting about how fast the staff attended to him. He tried to put them at ease. There was nothing put on or self-important about him at all. He wasn't there to impress anyone - not even us. He was there because he wanted to be."

Once we convinced the staff that we were fine and the table was fine and that we would all survive, and that I would dry out at some point during the evening, Dean tried to get past his embarrassment and make us all feel at ease by joking to me, "I bet you'll never wash that shirt again because I spilled my water on it." (Please note, quotes will be off by a word or two. Remember, I was trying to remember to keep breathing at the time. Some words got past my over worked brain.) And I told him that no I wouldn't and could get a good price for it on eBay.

Okay, so back to the "even more surreal" comment from Dean… It did become very, VERY more surreal. For on Dean's handy laptop were images from his show that has just now (but not as of that night) opened in Santa Monica at the Chris Krull Gallery! No only that, but there were images that are not to be included in the new exhibit! Robert Dean Stockwell himself showed us his work! He shared them with us and studied our faces while we looked at them, with me open mouthed I'm sure, and waited for our comments on them. He was like a proud father. No, he WAS a proud father. I mean, he wanted our opinions and he listened and commented when we gave them!

Now, you ask "Why did he do this?" I thought it was because he so happy to be in a convention environment, yet have people who appreciated his art and he just had to share it. And I do believe that was part of it. But the main reason for showing them to us, to Laurie...He wanted her to see them so she could write her poetry to them as well!!!!! Get this...he said "If you want to." Like she wouldn't?!?!?! Of course Laurie was (and is honored) and not being a stupid woman she told him yes. So he told her what email address to be looking out for and let her know that he would be sending her the images!!!!!! How amazing is that? Our Laurie!!! His exact words to her were… "A lot of people write poetry. You are a true poet."

Laurie just asked me to please add this..."My heart dropped from my chest into my gut. I couldn't believe that he would share his art with me so that I could write more. It was more than a dream come true. I'm not clever enough to come up with a scenario like the one that took place in the Marquis that night."

Now, I do have to take a moment here and make a request. I sent scans to Andrea of Dean's work to put up on our website. During our meeting Dean let us know that he feels very strongly about copyright infringement. So, I need to ask that the images I sent for use on the site be pulled. The ones from the Ravens site shouldn't be a problem. But Andrea, please pull all of the ones I sent to you. I respected Dean before ever meeting him that first time back at Chiller, now, after having had this encounter with him, I also want to respect his wishes. Sorry to all for that, but it's clear when talking to him that his art is his soul. I hope you all understand why I'm requesting the ones I sent come down.

So ladies, my fingers hurt and my eyes are drooping. There is a lot more to tell you about this dinner. A lot more! I hope this will hold you over until the next mail. I'm also working very hard to get pics up for you.

More soon!

Part II:

Laurie:

We'll begin tonight with actual eating since that's why we met at a restaurant. The first thing you do when you sit down at a restaurant is tell the waiter, our dear Sylvester, what we'd like to drink. Lisa and I don't usually drink alcohol and I sure didn't want to get blitzed at dinner with Dean so Lisa opted for a cola and I got my usual - club soda with a lime. Dean ordered a glass of the house Merlot. Now this was an upscale place so Sylvester poured Dean half an inch of wine, showed him the bottle and waited for Dean to take a sip and approve the choice. Dean just sort of laughed and told Sylvester he just wanted a glass, not the bottle. Then Dean said, "At home I drink wine from a box. This will be fine." Yes, Dean Stockwell drinks wine from a box. <g> I love that he drinks wine from a box. Even I don't drink box wine. Lisa is IMing with me and said, "I didn't know there was such a thing!"

We had the menus in our hot little hands and Dean kept asking what we wanted to eat. Lisa picked a Petite Filet Mignon and a Herbed Double Baked Potato. I chose Lobster Bisque and Pan Seared Copper River Salmon. Dean had a big lunch so he wanted a Caesar Salad and a side dish, Sauteed Exotic Mushrooms. When Sylvester returned for our order, Dean ordered for us. He pointed to me, "She'll have. . . " Then he pointed to Lisa, "And she'll have. . . " It was so old world of him. Now, I believe myself to be a liberated woman, but it was kind of fun to have him do the ordering. I wanted to giggle, but being the always appropriate woman I am, I refrained. <g> Lisa says, "I love that he ordered for us!!! He can do it anytime he wants! Plus, when he ordered my Filet he looked at me and said 'Honey (I think it was Honey), how do you want that cooked?' And when I said how I wanted it he said 'Don't you want anything else?' and I ordered the potato."

Now this restaurant is the kind where you are served an amuse bouche, an itty bitty tiny hors d'ouevres that is eaten in one bite. That's how small it is. We were served our amuse bouch, a swirl of smoked trout mousse on a quarter-sized slice of cumcumber. Dean ate his. I ate mine and Lisa who does not eat smoked fish or green vegetables chose not to eat hers. So Dean, being ever so proper, took the little plate and began a ceremony to cut it in half for he and I to share. We toasted with our forks and chowed down on these itty bitty bits. So, not only does Dean drink wine from a box, he plays with his food. <g> Dean said he was sorry if he and I were being rude by eating in front of Lisa, but she took one of the incredible cheese biscuits and joined in.

Since Dean and I had appetizers, they came first. My lobster bisque was beautifully served with chunks of lobster on top. Dean's salad was a beautiful affair that came in an unusual bowl. It was rather large,

white ceramic and the shallow bowl was seated on a circular base on the bottom. Now the bowl part itself was tilted slightly and Sylvester placed it in front of Dean with the lower side toward him and the bowl tilting up. Well, you would have thought he was witnessing the absence of gravity or something. He examined that bowl from top to bottom, sticking his face nearly onto the table to see the bottom of it, and just behaving like a little boy seeing Santa. He was beside himself with the shape of this bowl. We weren't sure if he'd ever stop remarking about this bowl. He finally did, but it did bring about a new activity for him which I'll tell you about in a few minutes. Lisa just reminded me. She is saying. "I asked him if he wanted a pic of the bowl to use in a future image. Then a bit later he said something about it and I said I can't take it now because you moved your bread. Then he went all crazy with the piece of bread sliding it around inside his bowl."

Dean eats his salad and I have my soup and we are very happy eaters. Then we have our main courses. Lisa's potato is about the size of Idaho. My salmon could feed about three people and Dean's exotic mushrooms could keep Alice in Wonderland happy for a few weeks, lots and lots of shrooms. Dean commented on how good everything looked and he was eying my salmon. I told him the mushrooms looked good too, so we shared our food. He gave me some of his mushrooms and I cut him a piece of salmon. Lisa offered him some potato, but he doesn't eat carbs. Lisa is saying, "Dean and Laurie were in their own little food world. I could have left the table at that point and they wouldn't have noticed." Well, we would have noticed - eventually. <g> The food was really good!!! Now by eating off each other's plate, I mean exactly that. I stuck my fork into a few mushrooms on his plate and he stabbed at my salmon.

When we finished what we were able to eat, Lisa still had at least half of her steak and most of her potato left. I had at least half of my salmon. Dean wanted us to take our leftovers back to our rooms. Now, I don't usually eat fish left out unrefrigerated overnight. Lisa doesn't usually eat steak left out either, but he was so adamant about us taking the leftovers that we finally said yes just to stop him from talking. Lisa managed to convince him that she didn't want her steak and he took it saying he was going to have it for breakfast. I on the other hand got stuck with delicious, yet (by the morning) stinky fish to take with me. <g>

Sylvester asked if we wanted dessert. Dean roared laughing and sat back almost tipping his chair over. "They didn't eat what they have here!" He is easily amused and finds himself very funny. It was fun to watch him. Lisa says, "And to see him laugh like that in person, so close, oh, it does things to a girl! He has an energy, an addictive energy. And when the man is happy, when he's smiling and laughing, you have no choice but to get carried away in it."

Now, back to wine glasses. Some time during all this, Dean drank about half his glass of Merlot. Then, inspired by the tilted bowl, he started to try to balance his wine glass on the edge of the glass's base. It's hard to describe, but he wanted to balance the glass on an angle like the salad bowl. All I could think was, "First the water and now the wine is going to go!" But the man did it. He managed to balance his wine glass on its edge and he was very very proud of his whole self. Lisa says, "A big part of that is because he was sure we didn't think he could do it. After it sat there balanced for a bit, in a grand gesture he snatched it up and got the most rakish look on his face. Then he toasted us. I told him it was impressive, but the look made the whole thing work that much better. He was very happy that his 'look' was appreciated."

I'm going to let Lisa tell you the next part because she has much clearer memories of it than I do. I was just trying to shield myself. <g> From Lisa - Dean called Sylvester over to get a second glass of wine. Sylvester was beside himself because he did not want to sit another glass of wine in front of Dean until he finished his first. So they went back and forth and Sylvester won. He told Dean he would get him the second glass when Dean finished the first. Dean gave in and said it was fine. Lisa said, “He just wants to try and balance two at the same time. I know what he's after.” To which Dean calls to Sylvester..."Hey babe! I really want..." and he points to a wine glass on the table behind him..."Pour it in here." So Sylvester does. While Sylvester is getting it Dean's says..."Sometimes, one gets a challenge. And then, what do you do? You say you can't do that?" As for what we were saying? We're not sure. We were laughing too hard.

Laurie here again - The challenge was presented and Dean started working on balancing both glasses. Now he goes to the first glass and gets it balanced again. He almost spilled that glass, but he caught it before it fell over. It is not precariously sitting on its edge. I'm holding my napkin in front of me since I know he's going to spill it all like he spilled the water. Dean was having trouble getting the glass to balance since it was too full and the wine was sloshing around too much. So in this beautiful restaurant with elegantly dressed staff Dean shouts out, "Everyone stop walking!" Again, he was highly amused with himself. He licked his finger and rubbed it along the bottom of the glass. He got it balanced. So he had two wine glasses standing on their edges. Now I'm ashamed to admit this, but Lisa had faith in his unique skill, but I didn't. When he told us his record was nine I was astounded. He added, "But that was back when I had a steadier hand." Lisa says, "He was very impressed with himself. And when I told him it was good but he forgot 'the look' this time, he said...'I did the look once. I didn't need to repeat it.'"

And then just to prove the sophistication of his humor, he started to try and balance his reading glasses. He was amused by "wine glass - eye glass!" We tried not to groan. I wasn't successful. Neither was Lisa, but we also aren't sure if he was joking or not. Something tells us he was really trying to balance them! Then he joked about sipping wine from his eyeglasses.

That's about it for the actual food related stuff. We have more stories though!!! Just let us know if you want more. We could probably bore you with this for at least two of three more days. <g>

Laurie (and Lisa on AIM)

P.S. Dean did talk about his art and copyrights so I'd like to back up Lisa's request to only post art on the Sassies page that is already online from galleries where he has his shows. His art works are very dear to him.

Part III (by Lisa):

I had to sign off last night while Laurie and I were working on the last post so I'd like to add a couple of things now.

During some our conversations with Dean, we talked about happy and fun things, sad things and one thing in particular that made Dean very angry. With every new subject Dean was completely comfortable with showing his emotions on the topic. We saw him laugh without abandon, we saw sadness and compassion on his face during tough talks and we saw a blazing anger when we spoke of something that just really pee'd him off. I will never, ever forget how he opened up to us. We started out thinking we were going to have dinner with Dean Stockwell the artist and actor, but we left the restaurant after having dinner with Robert Dean Stockwell the artist, actor and above all else human being. There are not and never will be enough words for me to describe the total and complete new found respect I have for the man.

As Laurie mention, I told Dean about my Mother's passing. Now, last October when I went to Chiller my Mom sent me with a letter to give to Dean. I handed it to him and he read it and asked me to tell my Mother thank you. I later found out the my Mom, ornery little woman that she was, asked Dean to give me a kiss. LOL...He didn't of course. Well, when we were leaving Chiller for the day he did blow me a kiss. Anyway, I was telling Dean a bit about the letter during dinner. I wanted him to know Mom and the sweet, silly woman she was. He smiled when I mentioned the kiss. So, when we were leaving the restaurant Dean gave Laurie a kiss on the forehead and turned to walk away. Of course I shamelessly stopped him and pointing to my forehead asked him where mine kiss was. He turned to me and said "You don't get one there" and proceeded to give me a kiss on the cheek. Suddenly I felt another soft kiss and he whispered to me "That one's for Mom." I have to tell you, Dean and no one reading this could ever begin to know just how must that meant to me. When I went back to my room, I looked out the window over Atlanta and told Mom I got the kissed she had asked for and cried like a baby. I have no doubt Mom was sitting on a cloud, swinging her feet and clapping her hands with that big ornery grin on her face.

And on a more fun note, Dean wanted to know how fast Laurie's [wheel]chair could go. So as we were leaving the restaurant, there is this long hallway you have to walk down before you get into the hotel atrium area. Laurie and I were behind Dean and when he heard us coming he turned around and started running backwards away from Laurie and her chair. She yelled for Dean to be careful and he turned. Se no one behind him he told Laurie so. "There's no one behind me!". LOL...Laurie wasn't worried about that, she just didn't like the thought of 69 year old Dean running backwards. But I have to tell you, I had more faith in his ability to do it than I do in my own.

Okay, that's all for now from me. I have no doubt as bits and pieces come back to us we'll be sending them your way.

Later, in a different thread:

Another member: I think, if it's done the right way, "Sassies Uber Alles" (with the umlaut though) would be hysterical. Of course Dean will forget he said that, so he'll have no idea why the pin says that until someone explains it to him... :-)

Lisa: Karen, that's the true. When our dinner was over with Dean at Dragon*Con, Laurie and I both had food left on our plates (seriously...eat with Dean sitting at your table and talking to you and balancing wine glasses?...ummm...no). I had most of my steak left and Dean asked our waiter to wrap it up to go and he would have it for breakfast. The next morning when we saw him I ask him if he enjoyed his breakfast and he looked at me like I had lost my mind. Explaining just seemed to baffle him more. Got to love that man.

#stockwell sassies

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bunny-banana · 5 years

Note

For the director's cut thing, the story where Fabri asks Ermal out on a date but Ermal doesn't realize that? 👀

YO SO WE GONNA DO THAT OR WHAT

Its this fic btw if anyones curious.

Chap 1

Even with closed eyes, he sensed the man lying next to him turn towards him but Fabrizio did not spoke immediately. No, he just stayed silent for a bit, Ermal wasn’t quite sure what he was observing but before Ermal could ask, Fabrizio broke the silence.

its u. he’s gazing at u, u idiot.

’You didn’t exactly give off the vibe that you’d say yes’

“What the fuck does that even mean? I don’t give off the vibe?!”

mr no-homo meta has NO right to be surprised at that. boy went into a panic attack every time someone as much as breathed the suggestion ofc fab was Anxious

A certain Roman showing up at his doorstep looking like he’d belong to the Milan Fashion Week.A tight grey shirt whose top three buttons almost begged to be opened (yet remained miraculously, in Fabris case, closed!) clung nicely to the body underneath it. A very fine silver chain hung around his neck that perfectly fit with the rings and the watch on his hand.Instead of ripped denim, now tight & shiny dark jeans were worn and to round this look up, an impeccably tailored black, suit jacket was thrown over him.

so not to be Hoe on main but we all just love Sexy Fab. but more so, i really thought Fabrizio would have put a lot of effort into dressing nicely this time around. Probably called a few friends, crying to help him. He just wanted Ermal to like his look. Which he did. A lot. again, outstanding heterosexual of the year, ermal meta is completely mesmerised by that look.

“Well, well, Fab. Gotta say, this place is on a whole different level“ The curly haired man commented as he flipped through the menu.“You like it?”“How could I not?”

again, Fabrizio intentionally looking up a fancy place for their Date, something he actually felt a little bit uncomfortable about himself and wouldnt normally chose for himself. But then again, he was greatly relieved when Ermal actually did say he liked it.

*It felt.. nice. The whole evening was quite nice, Ermal had to admit, even with the unusual ambient.

Ermal is just honestly iconic in this fic. man enjoys fabrizios appearance, enjoys talking with him, eating out with him, just spending time with him in general sooo much……and yet.

Fabrizio tilted his head and was it the candle light or something else, but a intriguing shine filled his eyes.“I’d know something sweeter than this.” In the next moment, everything turned upside down when Fabrizio suddenly took his hand and intertwined their fingers, his thumb gently brushing over the back of the younger man’s hand.

THE COURAGE THIS TOOK. THE NERVES WHICH WERE WRECKED. Fab really just went “ok here we go balls to the wall now or never”

Chap2

“So, Fabrizio….Fabrizio likes me. Apparently.” It felt interesting to say it out loud. Ermal got a tingly feeling at the thought. So ..it was him who made Fabrizio blush earlier? Who made him nervous? And smiley? Christ, he actually really wanted Ermal to like his outfit, didn’t he? A small smirk found its way on Ermal’s face. Who would have thought that he’d have Fabrizio Moro of all people wrapped around his finger.

erm: so im het

also erm: wow i really really like the fact that fabrizio is into me. its actually super exciting. kinda makes me happy in a way.

“Wait, what?! I should ask him out?!”“Yeah? Isn’t that something you want?”Is that something he- But that would imply that he’d want to pursue Fabrizio, his very male, masculine, manly friend Fabrizio who was definitely not by any chance a woman. To have a relationship with guy that was …..romantic… and oh sweet Mother of God, sexual?!“I- I- I don’t know.”

so yeah, to get to the bottom of this, when you’re in the process of realising your own …..non-heterosexuality, its just A Lot to take in. I thought, realistically, that would just be a bit too much for Ermal to take in at that moment. He had to process the mere thought of “yes, you could have a romantic relationship with this guy, since he’s into you. Its absolutely a possibility”. When you’re conditioned to think “i can only ever date people of the opposite sex” all your life, it takes a bit of time to get accustomed to new possibilities.

And then theres the sexual aspect which is like, on Jupiter, for Ermal’s current state of mind.

Chap3

The video he currently was immersed in showed a slow-mo fight between a mongoose and a cobra that in all its intensity outdid any action movie in a heartbeat.

i remember watching that vid before writing that chapter and being mesmerised by it. u fucking go lil mongoose!

[Bizio]: sorry i cant this weekend

First, i just love the thought of him being saved as Bizio on Ermals phone. Second, the reason why he replied so late was because he was wrecking his mind about it. Should he go? should he not? god, the thought of seeing ermal excited him and yet scared him. nonononno. he’s trying to get Over Ermal. He needs space. he is not ready yet.

[Ermal]:Fabri!! Heard you’re coming up North! 😁 I have this excellent bottle of wine that a fan gave me the other day (don’t ask) so how about we open it at my place? I know you love a good wine 😉🍷

He couldn’t even slide the phone back into his pocket before it started buzzing. Surprisingly, the reply came almost instantly this time.[Bizio]:sorry no the schedule is pretty tight for me at the moment i dont think ill have much time in milan

i just image him getting the weirdest fucking fan gifts. also lmao the lightning speed with which fab replied. homeboy saw that wine would be involved and imemdiately thought “nononononono. worst case, my drunk ass might kiss him, god forbid. we are absolutely not gonna do that”

[Ermal]:So I’m flipping through the channels at home and there comes a baking show and I wouldn’t normally stop to watch but you know what they’re baking? Those creamy pastry things we had in Lisbon!

Now the idea about the Pasteis de Nata stemms from a real life event! During ESC 2018 i slept at a friends house and since the contest was held in Portugal we decided to cook something portuguese. Thats what we did. They fucking slap. Also, one of the best weekends ive ever had

However, this is how things continued as to all of Ermal’s messages, he’d receive rather uncharacteristically short replies. When he sent him photos he’d often not reply at all and even when he called Fabri didn’t pick.

Okay we have to image in WHAT kinda mental state Fabrizio is in that time. Boy is EMBARASSED to death. Then obviously, he is trying his hardest to get rid of this crush. So he just isnt talking to Ermal at all. Which in turn makes him lonely and sad. So then Ermal shoots him a message, sends him a picture and Fabrizio is immediately head over heels again. Which he shouldnt be. Bad Fabri. And the circle repeats itself.

Fabrizio who smiled sweetly at the host, who hugged her tightly, who joked with her and oh, whose eyes didn’t stick to her face but wandered more and more south.

Dude honestly, Fab was not flirting with anyone. He was just being nice as he usually is. And we all know he a lil bit sleazy so yeah, he might have looked down once or twice. but he really was not flirting. It was just Ermals affection-deprived mind going berserk.

Also that was the first time Ermal witnessed Fabrizio being affectionate with someone else. And the contrast to that cold shoulder he received was just the last straw for him.

“Why is he all smiley and lovey-dovey with her while he treats me as if I’m a war criminal?!” Ermal shouted the second the other line got picked up.“Uhm, hello? Maybe a ‘Good morning’ first of all? A simple ‘how are you doing, Sabina?’ would have been appreciated too.”

Damn bitch can ya greet ur sister first before going off smh

And would it have been really that bad if Ermal had just held on to his hand? Let Fabrizio gently stroke him with his thumb, maybe even squeeze back while Ermal’s finger draws circles over letters that covered the older man’s knuckles.It would have been nice and Ermal would have liked it.

I think he just needed to see what he was missing out to realise what he really has always wanted. If things were to go back to normal, he would have never made any realisations.

“Am I- Do I like Fabrizio?”

No, we dont ask what he is. Because thats for another time, a calmer time. Or maybe not at all. He doesnt know the answer to that question and its not important right now. All he knows is that despite it all, he likes Fabrizio.

The fact he was a guy was new, but those feelings involved weren’t.

I feel like this is just a very bisexual experience. At least to me it was. Its very confusing when u are genuinely attracted to the opposite sex, so you make the conclusion: you are obviously straight. Its not possibly that you are not-straight.

Then u start feeling attraction to someone of ur own gender and its like “hmmm. Obviously this must be fake since we have established that Im genuinely attracted to the opposite sex ”

But the thing is..it aint going away. And then u think how you’d perhaps be down for sex, and perhaps be down for something more, and perhaps do all those nice things you would be doing with someone of the opposite sex.

So yeah, its ..its really confusing and complicated to figure it out. And if you actually do have a feelings for someone it only makes matters more complicated ig

“Jesus, I really do like him. Me. Liking a guy.”

Again, once u made That Realisation, its just the WILDEST thing in the beginning. a complete NEW concept being applied to yourself.

“LISTEN CUT THE BULLSHIT I KNOW EXACTLY THAT YOU’RE HOME! OPEN UP OR I WILL STAND HERE ALL NIGHT I’M NOT FUCKING AROUND!” In addition to the knocking he now also started ringing the doorbell. He sure as hell wouldn’t move here until that door wasn’t opened.“I DONT GIVE A FUCK, I WON’T EVEN SLEEP AND NEITHER WILL YOU. I CAN GO ON FOREVER YOU HEAR ME, FABRIZIO MOBRICI?!”

Ermal is just unhinged in all my fics.

Epilogue

[Ermal💛]: You ready?

Fabrizio added that heart right immediately after Ermal left his house a week prior.

Ermal looked….cuddly.

So yeah we all know Fab isnt the keenest on fashion and shit. And i just though Ermal would want him to be as comfortable as possible on their date, so he was like “ay come casual” . and also, its sort of cute that Ermal lets Fabri see him so casual too, its sort of more private in that sense.

And those were still the mild surprises, let’s not start with the downright shock he felt when his brain started providing words like kissable, attractive, sexy and hot during lonelier nights.

i have a fic for those kinda nights too

“It’s not that far and God knows men your age need the exercise anyway.”

ermal just cant show affection like a normal person, he has to roast u even when he’s madly in love with u

What followed behind the colourful door was a small chaos. Literally. People constantly coming and going, with buzzing voices chatting in every corner. They made their way half through the rather crowded establishment, got greeted by a waiter who rushed past them, before they finally spotted a couple leaving, liberating two chairs for them.

SO YEAH. the restaurant. it is loosely based on a place here in Vienna. Its pakistani food too, its a buffet, its kinda chaotic like described in the fic. also u can pay as much as u want.

i just thought, yknow, its home made cooking and its kinda relaxed and chill and casual and has a certain liberal flair to it. and i thought yeah that has fabri energy we gonna use that. also their mango rice puddings fucking slap

Languages were not his forte, those belonged to Ermal, but Fabrizio ran through his options. It surely wasn’t French or Spanish, that he would at least recognise. German looked different too; they had those dots over their U’s and those curly B’s which allegedly weren’t B’s at all. Swedish? Danish? No. He’s been to Ikea often enough to know that his wardrobe wouldn’t be called Qershor. And Russian had different letters but maybe it was something similar to Russian?

Okay, so I’m a known Slut for Languages. Fabrizio is not. I can pretty much recognise most European languages in written form at some point in a text. Fabrizio can not. Therefore writing this from the perspective of someone who really isnt into languages was kind of interesting and a bit challenging. I was just thinking ‘how would he recognise them when he isnt into them?’ And i think, in the end, i did it realistically.

“Is it like..Serbian? Croatian? Or something?” He mumbled while putting a piece of eggplant in his mouth but quickly realised the answer when Ermal almost spit out his water from laughing.“No, definitely not. I can guarantee you, it’s very much not Serbian or Croatian ‘or something’.” Ermal chuckled with a bright smile, obviously enjoying their little guessing game. “But you’re close. In a way.”

This is SO embarrassing but this whole language guessing game was just a setup to an inside joke I have with myself. So, for those who don’t know, I speak Serbo-Croatian. And I study Slavic studies. The first things they tell you in the first lesson of the Slavic Linguistics course is “Please, for the love of God, PLEASE, dont say Albanian/Hungarian/Romanian is a slavic language”. Apparently many europeans assume these languages are because theyre surrounded by slavic countries. BUT TO AN ACTUAL SLAVIC NATIVE SPEAKER, the difference is immediately obvious and so its quite comical when people assume theyre related languages. So i thought the reverse would be kinda funny to Ermal too.

“I can be anything the teacher wants me to be. A good student, a naughty student, whatever floats his boat…” He asked sultrily before winking at the man across of him whose higher brain functions seemed to have ceased at once and just gaped at him like a fish.

boys whole brain got fried when the sexiest man in italy started flirting with him. issokay, he was just shocked. fabrizio has never been flirty with him before, he’ll get used to it.

“I was just trying to give you the best date that I could.“At those words, the Roman frowned however."Wait, this was a date?!”

im just an asshole honestly

They giggled as they finally closed the gap between them going for a slow and deep kiss.

i just love them being all SOFT and in LOVE

“Erm, I- I have an instore tomorrow, I better be well rested.”His counterpart just huffed and raised an eyebrow.“So were you planning on staying up all night, huh?”

Fabs horn dog brain definitively went HmmmmMmm this is nice:) ..could get even nicer:) but no fuck, i have work to do tomorrow

“Love how you immediately forget about a good night’s sleep once you have a tongue in your mouth.”“Fuck off.”

He just got carried away as if u were complaining ermal smh

"I bet on everything I have that your password is 'liberoanita1’ so yes, I actually can.”

Parents culture is just using ur children’s names as all your passwords and we all know Fabri is that kinda parent.

All in All, i also wanna talk about how the epilogue mirrors the first chapter, but in a more successful light.

Fabrizio dresses for Ermal - Ermal dresses for Fabrizio

fancy place - more casual place

They take the car - they walk

Fabrizio takes Ermals hand on the open for everyone to see - Ermal takes Fabrizios hand under the table, in private

They eat their dessert seperately - they eat theri dessert together

they fall out - they become closer, kiss

they dont talk - they plan the next date

anyway thanks for reading and thank uuuuuu for this ask julchen

#my fics

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divine-identite · 6 years

Text

Shipping Info Meme

Answer the following for your muse so people know how shipping works on your blog.

Oh boy, this is going to be wordy. Placing this under a read more.

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER?:

I have like a few in terms of Romantic. My Caius, branching into canon and uncanon:

- Caius and Yeul: Not romantically, familial PLATONIC - my boy is not a map, do not confuse this shit as romantic. I enjoy this ship because there will only be a few times you get to see Caius be gentle. Understanding and protective of Yeul. Sadly I don't have a Yeul to do longterm plotting on what could be so I don't sadly get to flesh out what could be with the characters. So the ship has ended but still a fave.

- Caius and Moana: Another familial platonic. Another huge ship I've had on my blog for like a year or two, it’s not hugely advertised but something you’ll see on my blog. Now I and the mun have already talked about the prospects of this ship and how amazing it will be. Caius being like a secondary dad, who trains and prepares Moana seemingly boring things, but pays off in the end. Watching as she grows up, maturing into a woman and later into a chief. It’s like watching your garden just grow into a fabulous array of colours of vivid beauty, swirling into a radiant cosmos beyond the blackness betwixt stars. Im, sure there will be fluff and a lot of angst into this though. But I think Caius would be proud but at the same time at peace seeing her grow up. Though it's amusing she hit him with a paddle though lol. But still the mun/ muse are a complete gourmet coffee ( equivalent to cinnamon); made from the finest ingredients, warmed to delightful temperature and quite welcomed at any time of the day. To this ii’ll add @blessedbycrystal and @indrikis as well @oceanschiild

- Caius and Fujin: Ah yes the potato and eggplant curry. I and the mun have completely made so many routes, alternatives and main that we wish to explore. Even work extensively on the development of the characters, marking down all fluff and angst, anything between. We plotted heavily made headcanons on our ships that we’ve now plotted and every now and then would publish lol ( i know it's my turn to make something lol). The soulmate AU is probably the longest au we’ve had for like 3 -4 years now? and then we’ve decided to release a Pacific Rim AU we’ve cooked up. Another amusing factor is that none of the characters did like another - at all by any means when we started it. It was just insane indifferent between the other like, whatever let's keep this moving, don't know don't care - how they're pretty invested in another now is quite amusing. So much how its funny how to stoic people interact with another is quite interesting. @fujxn

- Caiu and Alex: We’ve sunk so much time into this ship. Despite the opposite personalities they’ve become a long way actually until now and made a lot of progress. So far its been under the opposites attract rule so far quite a lot of silliness involved lol but it works well with what is given with the ship. A lof cat beats person up, and also dealing with Alex’s episode of insomnia as well! You’ll probably find a lot of cooking to be more involved with this ship than any other ones I feel since you may end up seeing them owning a cooking store. @blessedfate

- Caius and Kuvira: PROBABLY A BAD SHIP XD not bad as in bad - but Kuvira is just so salty and unyielding. Though the hate is subtly dying down thus far but Kuvira still - well going to be kuvira. The ship is a slow burner but I and the mun have talked extensively about the ship. Though kuvira still does throw rocks at him - and to this day still tries her best to man-handle him despite him literally towering over her all the time. The crack episode between the two is great and you can tell that despite some of the vitriol - there is some fun. All the hate is just one sided on Kuvira’s side and Caius either doesn't care or doesn't know, which might explain is indifferent. Thought I think this may be why its just hard to make him into an enemy when he doesn't see you worth holding a grudge on really. When it comes between who is the queen of pettiness; between all my ships I think I’ll crown Kuvira for this one lol. @thegreatunxter

WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO WRITE WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING?

Anything. Relationships aren’t static, people’s lives have dynamic changes and events that influence their behaviour on a regular basis. I am a huge fan of exploring the development of the bond they have. Come at me with domestic events, angst, supporting each other through trouble, courting, you name it.

I’m open to anything. Relations are especially hard to get, familial takes time to build up to but I suggest long as the ship is dynamic than it’ll work just fine - coupled with chemistry on both sides. I am quite open to exploration of any angle, angst, fluff and anything in between.

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?

Strongly prefer in the 20′s + I know 18 is like you’re a legal status, however, my muse is immortal. Your muse practically will be dating an ancient relict from the past, or some old bottled wine that’s aged wonderfully.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?

Yes with romantic, no isues with platonic. Let this be hewn into your minds. Caius isn't mean for everyone. There is a lot of issues involving Caius that I've heard and aware - he’s slow to open up, he's cold, he doesn't act like he likes this person, he acts heartless and many more. It’s a list really and probably won't express this. If you are coming with these expectations of my muse, he is not for you. If you want something fast and simple relationship between the two - he’s just not for you in that matter. He’s a man that’s been through a lot and probably very slow of just opening up to people.

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED NSFW?

Moment clothes come off or when touching goes elsewhere. However, if its kept fade to black then that is fine.

WHO ARE OTHER THE CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?

I don't really have many romantics for Caius like that anymore but I guess; Caius/ Light ( my interest in Cairai is meh after 5 years) Caius/ Fang (not as bad as Cairai but its okay).

In terms of Platonic, anyone really - Caius even extends his hand to welcome you.

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?:

Yes, I would greatly prefer you bring this to many attention so we can talk about it and what not. That and give you details so we can disillusion any expectations and come to a realistic circumstance. That or normally just AU’s.

HOW OFTEN DO YOU LIKE TO SHIP?

Not as much as you would think really, I usually do some looking into before I seal the deal. That and im not so hyperactive due to work so - im just a ghost somewhat lol.

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?:

Depends really, if something is convincing and has me enjoying it’s possible I could become ship obsessed. But now these days Nah not so much, maybe I was more prone to like a few years back now.

ARE YOU MULTISHIP?

Of course, im open to anything just as you should have your own parents. I only ask if there is an issue you bring up to me. I thought I would be doing single ship - hmmm haven't found a person I could rest my laurels on like that really, That and im slow in responses now these days.

WHAT IS/ARE YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP(S) IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?:

Garnet/ Zidane, Yuna/Tidus, I do like 9S/2B as well very good combo. All I could think of that interested me

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?:

Ask

Tagged by: @asouldivided , Moonpie guy

Tagging: anyone really

#headcanons: █ ▌◆ ❝ Sleepsong ❞#longpost #long post #tw longpost #longpost tw

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nisitime · 4 years

Text

weird asks that say a lot

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? muggs

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? yes

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? both

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? creative

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? glass cups

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? pastel

7. earbuds or headphones? headphones

8. movies or tv shows? both

9. favorite smell in the summer? pool

10. game you were best at in p.e.? ALL

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? cappuccino

12. name of your favorite playlist? my chill mix

13. lanyard or key ring? key ring

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? gummies

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? a fada oriana

16. most comfortable position to sit in? laying down

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? my pink fillas

18. ideal weather? cloudy, where i can wear a shirt and a jacket and be ok

19. sleeping position? fetal

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? note book

21. obsession from childhood? drawing

22. role model? my brother

23. strange habits? aaaaa i pick my nose alot?

24. favorite crystal? dont have one

25. first song you remember hearing? uma sobre os palhacinhos

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? sleep

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? sleep

28. five songs to describe you? honest by tessa violet

29. best way to bond with you? make me laugh, dont make me uncomfortable

30. places that you find sacred? u mean scary? aaa... somewhere i dont know.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? black highwaist jeans a cute shirt and my damn purple long jacket

32. top five favorite vines? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zs2hYBkVqeI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BS3oePljr8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUjTmTnnszk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jZUETfIfNo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS3iJQb5rAQ

33. most used phrase in your phone?

dont text or talk much on the phone

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? pingo doce venha cá!

35. average time you fall asleep? i wish to not wake up

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? probably one of the rage comics

37. suitcase or duffel bag? dosent matter

38. lemonade or tea? LEMONADE

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? YES

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? hmmm maybe us locking the teacher ouside the class and leaving through the window

41. last person you texted? Bia

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? jacket

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? hoodie

44. favorite scent for soap? hmmmmmmmmm i dont think i have one

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? *shrugs*

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? shirt and panties

47. favorite type of cheese? Fucking queijo da ilha

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? Watermelon

49. what saying or quote do you live by? none tbh

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? cant remember, its really easy to make me laugh

51. current stresses? school paperwork

52. favorite font? *shrugs*

53. what is the current state of your hands? kinda dirty from drawing and shaky

54. what did you learn from your first job? stand up for yourself

55. favorite fairy tale? dont have one i think

56. favorite tradition? dont have one

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? death of my father, my last break up and my closest friend abandoning me

58. four talents you’re proud of having? drawing and being really good at coming up with ways to make things work out

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? ‘’don’t scream or ill cry’’

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? comedy / romance

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? cant remember any now

62. seven characters you relate to? hmmm - Hirasawa Yui - Lapis Lazuli - Suki - Akiyama Mio - Megumi Noda - Risa koizumi - Kamen Rider Fourze

63. five songs that would play in your club? - Galileo Galilei - Aoi Shiori - Six by Six the musical - A lovely Night (la la land) - Mr. Blue Sky - On Melancholy Hill ( gorillaz)

64. favorite website from your childhood? probably something like 6000+ games online

65. any permanent scars?

yes

66. favorite flower(s)?

lily of the valley and sunflowers

67. good luck charms?

dont have any

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? Tea / Sushi

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

(when u have so many random facts but u cant think of one)

70. left or right handed?

right

71. least favorite pattern?

probably something like zebra or cheeta? animal stuff

72. worst subject? math

73. favorite weird flavor combo? BRO Ketchup ruffles + cappuccino

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? as soon as im uncomfortable

75. when did you lose your first tooth? good question ‘’MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM’’ (IDK)

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? Mashed potatoes

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? cacti

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? coffee

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? i dont have either

80. earth tones or jewel tones? jewel tones

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? fireflies

82. pc or console? either is fine

83. writing or drawing? drawing

84. podcasts or talk radio? none

84. barbie or polly pocket? polly pocket

85. fairy tales or mythology? yes

86. cookies or cupcakes? cookies

87. your greatest fear? not going to talk about it c:

88. your greatest wish? be happy

89. who would you put before everyone else? my brother and mom

90. luckiest mistake? idk

91. boxes or bags? box

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? fairy lights

93. nicknames? Nisi, Nis, Su, Piolha

94. favorite season? Autumn

95. favorite app on your phone? dont have one

96. desktop background? big kirby

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? 2

98. favorite historical era? dont have one

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amymel86 · 8 years

Text

Satisfying - Part 1 - Girls Night In, Jon x Sansa fic

"So what you dong at the pub with this sad sack and not with Marg on Valentine's night then Stark"? Theon remarked, tipping the bottom of his beer bottle towards Robb and then Jon.

"Hey"! Jon exclaimed half-heartedly.

"Sorry sad sack" Theon grinned. Jon grunted and took a swig of his beer.

"Sansa's kicked us out of the flat for a 'girls night in'" Robb began "and apparently it's something Marg doesn't want to miss" he shrugged into his pint of lager.

"But it's Valentine's Day - isn't that like, a big deal for couples"? Theon asked. Robb pulled a non-committal face that didn't go unnoticed by Jon.

"Hang on a minute, you were laying it on incredibly thick earlier about how disappointed you were not to be spending the evening with Marg - and now you don't care"? He asked with a furrowed brow.

Robb grinned "well...the more disappointed Marg thinks I am the more effort she'll put into 'making it up to me' won't she"? Robb winked.

"That's bloody brilliant"! Theon laughed and clapped Robb on the back making him spill a splash of his pint. Jon shook his head.

"So what do you reckon this girls night entails? Naked pillow fights and experimentation"? Theon waggles his eyebrows.

"That's my sister and her friends your talking about Greyjoy"! Robb warns.

Jon tries to hide his flush. He knew Robb was protective of his sister, it was part of the reason that he'd never professed his feelings for her. It had gotten worse when she'd moved into their flat - taking Sam's old room after he'd moved in with Gilly. She was there all the fucking time - with her tight jeans, cute little tops, bright smile and hair that smelt like strawberries - damn her!

The worst part was that he had an inkling that Sansa liked him too. She was always friendly with everyone but Jon swore it wasn't his imagination telling him that she took every opportunity to touch him - his arm, his knee, even stroking his hair and joking that he should be a Vidal Sassoon model.

They'd even had a couple of 'near misses' where Jon was sure they were about to kiss but low-and-behold his best friend, Robb-Cockblocker-extraordinaire-Stark would appear out of thin air causing both of them to jump about five feet apart. Seriously, does that man have a sixth sense or something?!

So there he was, caught between his desire and his loyalty and not entirely sure what he was going to do about it.

"Probably more like painting each other's toenails while they bitch about how terrible men are and yet mope about being single - Marg excluded obviously" Robb commented, bringing Jon back from his thoughts.

"Hmmm" Theon pondered "who else is there"?

"Sansa, Marg, Randa, Mya, Jeyne, Beth and Brienne...you know - the usual lot" Robb shrugged after counting the girls names off with his fingers. He lowered his hand and caught the gleam in Greyjoy's eye. "Why"?

"Lets go to the offy, get some vodka and some of that pink fizzy shit they like and crash the girls night - Show 'em that men aren't so terrible eh"?

"And you're the perfect example to prove that theory are you Greyjoy"? Jon asks, tilting the neck of his bottle at Theon.

"Of course! Im nothing but a gentleman" Greyjoy grinned.

"Bollocks"! Robb grunted "I know what this is - you've got a thing for Jeyne, especially now she's newly single".

Both Jon and Robb looked to Theon for confirmation who just grinned knowingly in return.

********

Somehow Theon managed to persuade Robb and Jon to spend a small fortune on booze, carry said booze and not to text Sansa to let her know they were headed back to the flat.

"Where's your keys"? Theon asked Jon, the glass bottles clinking in the bags that weighed down both Jon's arms. He motioned towards his jacket pocket whilst being silenced by a family bag of Dorito's he was holding in his teeth. Theon reached round and fished them out before opening the door.

As they entered the hallway they heard laughter and a couple of the girls singing 'Hey Big Spender' at the top of their lungs. Theon headed towards the sound.

"Honey! I'm ho-" Greyjoy called out before being cut off by the sight before him, Robb and Jon struggling with the bags of alcohol and snacks behind him. All three of them stood frozen in shock as they took in the unexpected scene in the living room.

Margaery was stood in the middle of the room wearing a lace and sheer black fabric one-piece of racy lingerie. She yelped and dropped the cat-o-nine-tails she was twirling in favour of covering her breasts where her nipples had previously been visible through the fabric. Brienne was holding a red babydoll up to herself as Beth was being laced into a black and baby pink corset by Jeyne, who in turn seemed to be dressed in a very skimpy nurses outfit. Randa and Mya were sat on one sofa holding up and comparing two brightly coloured vibrators whilst Sansa was stood on top of the other sofa dressed as a naughty French maid with a glass of wine in one hand and a dildo that she was using as a microphone in the other.

"Holy fuck" Greyjoy exclaimed with wide eyes and massive grin on his face.

The bag of Doritos fell from Jon's mouth.

"What the hell Marg"? Robb pushed past Jon and Theon to ask his girlfriend what was going on. Trying not to ogle her too openly while also making some effort to shield her from his friends' field of vision.

"Oh look - some willing male models" an unknown woman Jon had not noticed before purred. To be fair, the rest of the flat could be on fire, Jon wouldn't have noticed that either as he stared at Sansa's stocking clad long legs that disappeared into the black flared skirt with a little white apron. Her gorgeous red hair was piled messily and yet artfully on top of her head where a little black and white lace maids headpiece sat.

"Good evening boys" the woman addresses them, she's holding a small bundle of what looks like catalogues and has a pen behind her ear. "My name's Ros" she sticks her hand out In greeting, Jon numbly puts the bags of booze on the floor and takes her offered hand shake in a bit of a daze.

"Ever been to an Ann Summers Party"?

************************

Just in case you are unaware - an 'offy' is an Off License (Liquor Store) and Ann Summers is a company here in the U.K. that hosts home parties like Tupperware parties but with sex toys, lingerie and naughty costumes! They're tonnes of fun with drinking, games and getting to try on the costumes 😄

#jonsa #jon x sansa #jon x sansa fanfiction #jonsa fan fiction #jonsa fic #jonsa fanfic #jonsansaff #jonsan fic #jonxsansaff #gotfic #Satisfying

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elliotthezubat · 7 years

Text

DEATH CITY DAYS GAIDEN 7; The Rat And The Jewel King

an abridged/RP verse version of chapter 42 of BSD

girl with red hair: hmmm.... Topaz: *pant pant* girl with red hair: !! there you are! *hug* jeez, I was really worried you know =3= Topaz: *still trying to breathe* "O-Oh?" .\\\. girl with red hair: ^^ so, how did it go? Topaz: "...How did what go?" girl with red hair: the retrieval job ace made you do. >3< Topaz: "Yeah...we got him." girl with red hair: you didn't get hurt, did you? Topaz: "..." *touches a cut* "Not horribly..." girl with red hair: .... *cheek pull* >n< jeez, be more careful you goof! Topaz: "!!!" *pokes her cheek* "Garnette, what the f?!" garnette: >3< I just... 7///7 I worry about you, you know? Topaz: "...Then why pull my cheek..." =3= ace: if you two little shits are done canoodling, get your sorry asses upstairs! garnette: O.O;; Topaz: >\\\< "We weren't!" *tries to follow Ace* -upstairs- ace: I do apologize for how rude my servants were, mr....Dostoevsky, was it? FD: "...Yes." ace: it's not often I get visitors. the mafia doesn't exactly trust me, nor do I trust them. at the very least, I have my card games, my jewels, and my servants. FD: *looks around...bites his lip* ace: what I have is a proposition. perhaps you'd be willing to join us? should we work together, we'll be able to take down mori. I must say, your level of wit is outstanding, even being able to take out the guild. FD: "And if I refuse...I will never see the blue sky again?" ace: precisely. all things considered, seems you have not much of a choice. FD: "And my anemia does not help..." ace: your point? FD: "I'll kill you." ace: *glares and smacks a wine bottle over his head* how...disappointing. very well....Frederickson! front and center this instant! Frederickson: *steps forward...he's shaking* ace: *smirks as he clenches his fist tightly* Frederickson: "Urk!" *clutches his chest, falls to his knees... -several jewels appear in ace's hand- FD: "..." ace:... tch-, hardly worth anything. Frederickson: X___X garnette: mr dosto, are you alright? FD: "...Who, me?" ace: *glares and backhands garnette. hard* I WASNT TALKING TO YOU, YOU INSUFFERABLE LITTLE BITCH! consider yourself lucky I didn't make an example out of you. garnette: *wince* FD: "..." ace: just because you're a little brat pulled from the slums doesn't mean you can step out of line all willy-nilly. *smiles at Fyodor* excuse her, she's just a little brat. FD: *drenched, staring* ace: my ability wont kill you unless you wear the collar. but you'll have to put it on yourself. I'm certain it will suit you. *exits the room* garnette: ow... Topaz: "..." *offers a hand to Garnette* “And here you are telling _me_ to be careful…” garnette: t-thanks.. ^^ Topaz: "...That man..." garnette:...mr dosto? are you ok? you aren't hurt too much, are you? FD: “….” garnette: .-.; *looks at topaz* Topaz: ._.;; "D-Don't give up, s-sir..." *points to his collar* "I can never leave here..." garnette: neither can I... *points to her own collar* but seeing you stand up to mr ace like that was pretty exciting... Topaz: *nods* "These collars would kill us--" FD: *starts to laugh* " 'Don't give up'?" garnette: eh? FD: "Hah...hah..." --then sneezes-- garnette: O.O !! Topaz: "..." *takes a towel, starts drying FD's head* FD: D:< garnette: *getting a medkit out to bandage his wounds* FD: =\\\= "What's your story?" garnette: me? well, I lived in the slums for most of my life...my mom didn't exactly want to have me around anymore...eventually, the mafia found me and I was left in ace's care. although calling it 'care' would be stretching it... Topaz: "Well, when I'm in charge..." garnette: *looks at topaz* Topaz: "...Who am I kidding: I was sold into slavery. How would I ever get in charge..." garnette: ...! hey, maybe mr dosto can beat ace and save us! Topaz: OWO "Hey, yeah! Hey, Mister, why don't you--" FD: *studying his finger* "I cut my finger on that glass..." garnette: *sweatdrop* *bandages his finger* Topaz: "??? Aren't you afraid?" FD: "..." *smiles* "Of course not. This reminds me of my room." garnette: ?? FD: "I manipulate consciousness and space." garnette: wow. Topaz: "..." FD: "So...What's next?" -and so- ace: a game, you say? FD: "Yes. You want to entice me. But when enticement fails, you must get information from me about the next move from my comrades and finances. Therefore, you cannot kill me." ace: hmmm... FD: *sets out the deck of cards, pulls the ace of diamonds* "If you win, I'll wear your collar. If I win, you grant my freedom." ace: hmph. very well. however, I shall determine the game. I deal the card, and you just guess if the next card will be of higher or lower value. if you are correct, you keep going until you are wrong. then we switch hands. whomever has the most cards at the end wins. *draws the 9 of spades* your move. FD: "Hmmm...Lower." -4 of hearts- ace: hmph, beginners luck. FD: "Hmmm...Next one is low." -3 of clubs- ace: hmm... FD: "High." -6 of spades- -this continues for a while- FD: "...How many cards are left?" -none left- FD: "Well, that was fun. Who won?" ace: *speechless* I...I....y-you... -he rushes to the intercom- ace: GET IN HERE AT ONCE! CUT HIS LIMBS OFF! *Silence* ace: ?! *tries to open the door* ?!?!?! FD: "It's useless. I already suppressed your subordinates." ace: ??!! why you...rotten piece of shit! FD: "I prefer 'rat.'" ace:...hehe...hehehe...AHAHAHAHA...do you have any idea where you are? FD: "Underground?" ace: incorrect. right now, you're in a secret base, one not even mori knows about. and we aren't underground. right now, we're in the middle of the pacific ocean. *smirks* you did say your ability was to 'manipulate the conscious mind and space. as for how I know, well, the conversation had been wiretapped~ FD: "??? But how did you know I started manipulating this space?" ace: a broken communicator, a door that wont open. a clock that hasn't been ticking since I came in here. I know what you can do now. you've locked my conscious into your own head! that has to be why you won the game so flawlessly! I saw right through your tricks, you filthy rodent. FD: "Darn...I knew to expect this from a Mafia executive..." ace: but I have something to ask. why didn't you use this ability when you were captured? FD: "...So you couldn't determine how to get out." ace: oh I know how to escape alright. if I were to die in this mental space, i'll be back in the real world as you rot in your own mind. *taking a desk lamp* *smirks* as they say in your home country....do svidanya. -outside- garnette: ... Topaz: "...You think the anemia man is dead?" garnette: I don't know... ???: excuse me... garnette: hmm? Zoey: I'm looking...for someone...*holds up a picture* is he...here? Topaz: "?! How did you get here?" Zoey:...is he...here? Topaz: *sweating, looks at Garnette* garnette: he should be- -the door opens- garnette: !! FD: *exits* Zoey: !! master Fyodor! *hugs him* FD: "Omph! Oh, Zoey! Right on time." Topaz: "?!!" garnette: ?? but..h-how did you- FD: "Now, where is the room where Ace keeps his jewels?" garnette: h-his office is that way...b-but how did you get out of the room?! FD: "Simple: I lied." garnette: ?!?! FD: "My ability is not manipulation of space and consciousness. I just said so expecting a wiretap." Zoey: ... *watching garnette exit* ... Topaz: "Where is Ace?!" FD: "Just...hanging around." Topaz: "N-No..." *follows Garnette* garnette: *SCREAMS* Topaz: *enters the room* "Wh-What is it? What--" *freezes at the sight...* -ace's form hangs lifelessly from the ceiling- garnette: *wide eyed shock, covering her mouth* I....I wanted ace dead but...n-not like this...h-how is this... FD: *enters, pats Garnette's shoulder* "I broke the clock. So he thought time did not pass." *holds empty wine bottle* garnette: *staring, still in shock* FD: "And cork blocked the keyhole...The wine poured on the intercom broke that...And I did not predict the cards. I just memorized little flaws on the surface of each card." garnette:...what....even are you...? FD: "...I am salvation." garnette: .....why?...why do all this for his wealth? Topaz: "Th-That's what you wanted, right? The jewels?" FD: "...Hmph. Those trinkets. I wanted something more valuable..." *pulls out a set of papers* garnette: w-what is... FD: "The list of all Mafia members' abilities. Ace's contingency plan." garnette: !!!! FD: "With this list, I will give this world what it needs: the salvation of Death." garnette: !?!?! *backing away* FD: "And only we in this room know that Ace kept such a list...and the more people who know...the surprising it will be for the Mafia." garnette: ..... FD: "I will bless you...with the Great Silence..." *his hand approaches Topaz's head* garnette: ??? FD: *taps Topaz's head* Topaz: "..." *Blood explodes from the top of Topaz's head* garnette: *staring...eyes wide from shock...she wanted to scream....but no sound would come out* FD: "...I have released him of his sins." garnette: ah.... [topaz: hey...if we ever find a way out of this place...lets get married.] garnette:...t..to... *tears falling* FD: "??? ...Zoey..." Zoey:....those bandages....was that you, miss? FD: "It was, Zoey." Zoey:...I see...you know...im not too fond...of other girls...touching the man I love... *holds a scalpel to garnette's throat* that boy....did you...love him? garnette:....*nod* Zoey:...then....you'll see him soon... -slice- -blood sprays all over as garnette collapses, choking on her own blood* garnette: a...ah.... *weakly reaches for topaz' hand* Topaz: *struggling...coughs* "D...Des...troy..." garnette: *holding his hand* Topaz: "...If this ends the Mafia...We're free..." garnette:....*weak smile*...you'll...come find me...right? Topaz: *nods* "Yes..." *closes his eyes* garnette: remember...you...promised.... Topaz: *dead, with a smile* Zoey:....was it...petty of me...to kill her? FD: *holds up his fingers* "Tiny bit. But we had to get rid of them." Zoey:...were you...hurt too much? FD: "No. The wine bottle hurt. Got me wet. Cut my finger." Zoey: I see that girl bandaged you... *small pout* FD: "I assure you, it was simply for me to lower their guard...And besides, she meant nothing to me..." Zoey: ... FD: *strokes her cheek* "I only wish I saved one jewel for you...But none can compare to your radiance." zoey: ah~ FD: *smiles* "Shall we depart?" zoey: of course~ FD: "Good..."

#death city days

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viralhottopics · 8 years

Text

‘Are You The One?’ Recap: So Bad For Them But I’m Doing Fine

Well, its Wednesday night and Im a bottle of wine in. Its time to love myself like that Hailee girl told me to and turn on some . Because nothing is better for your self-confidence then to watch other people fail. Miserably.

Last year Sams mom got in touch with me and this year its Giannas brother. Who will be next to defend their loved ones on the recaps? Carolinas great aunt? Stay tuned!

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Shocker, they all start binge drinking. Cant wait to see how much weight they all gain by the end of the season.

Little Mike is talking to Casandra about all the things he likes to do. These hobbies include taking long walks on the beach, gelling his hair and taking a daily measurement of his penis. His growth spurt is coming, okay?!

Casandra literally looks like a bobblehead and is like OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

Little Mike: I LOVE LAMP

Mike wants to get to know Cas but also low-key hates her for having a family and being #blessed. He legit calls her a daddys girl to her face and shes not even phased. He starts talking about how his mom is broke and his dad is crazy and Im like, woah, did I change the channel accidentally to ? This shit is way too heavy for me rn.

If I could describe the house in three words that they all could understand it would be: Drunk. Horny. Stupid. In that order. Because they arent planning on getting a real job any time after this, they decide to throw an underwear party.

Ozzy is like Kathryn is very sexy, idk what it is about her that I like. He says as she grinds on him in her underwear. Hmmm, I wonder what it could be that makes you like her?

They start making out and he tells her that tomorrow is his birthday. So obviously she has to have sex with him because of THE IMPLICATION. (Name that reference and I will marry you.)

Tyler and Taylor are both like hey this underwear party is fucking gross and Im like FUCK YA TEAM NORMAL PEOPLE.

Tyler is like everyone is acting trashy and Im trying to better myself. Woah, ok. Profound. Tyler def got lost on the way to auditions and ended up on . Either that or hes a fucking narc.

Apparently nothing makes Tylers dick harder than belittling the people you live with and he starts making out with Taylor. Overall, v hot couple.

Then the camera pans out to literally everyone just hooking up. , brought to you by Trojan Condoms.

THE GAME

The game starts with everyone being blindfolded and the boys tied up, which is coincidentally also the first scene of .

The girls have to smell the guys and untie the one they want to take on a date. Because thats normal. The first three couples to finish go on a date.

The girls start sniffing and falling more than cokeheads at an EDM concert.

Kari has some big-ass eyes so every time she talks she looks fucking crazy. Actually, she kind of looks like me when Im high but Im pretending that Im not high so Im overly opening my eyes. Idk, just trying to create a visual.

Karis like “I STUDIED NEUROSCIENCE ONCE IN COLLEGE, PHEROMONES ARE REAL Yeah, no one said they werent#Science.

KARI: This one time, in my neuroscience class

Kari picks Joey the trashman, who I thought smells like shit but I guess not.

Hannah picks Tyler and is like wow, this blindfold makes it so hard to see. I totally respect blind people. Wow, Im sure blind people everywhere feel so fucking complimented. Like look mom, that girl on TV understands my daily struggle for 3 minutes!

They can still hear you being a dumbass, you know.

Alicia smells Andre because he, and I quote, smells like Fritios. This is like the cheapest advertisement Fritos has ever had. Also, Andre its time to get some new cologne.

Andre/Alicia, Joey/Kari and Hannah/Tyler all win and they are going to go windsurfing. Thrilling.

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Gianna apologizes to Hayden for being a low-key bitch last week and hes already well settled into his home on friendzone island.

Michael walks by and Gianna is like hanging on Hayden. Michael is very over it and Gianna is like . Fuck, okay.

Kam and Eddie are flirting and being cute and idk I like them so they better not fuck this up for me.

MY MOM: I like the girl with the grey-ish, purple-ish hair ME: Literally their names are at the bottom of the screen.

Carolina is very upset that Joey the trashman is going on a date with KARI (her name will be in all caps now because her eyes just make me feel some type of way). Carolina starts crying and shes like if youre not my match what is my purpose?! In the distance you can hear me screaming ITS WEEK TWO YOU DUMB BITCH.

THE DATE

Andre is the only one who can windsurf and Hannahs like”oh Daddy.” In the words of our President-Elect, everyone else is a bunch of losers. Huge losers! Failing at wind surfing! All talk, no action!

KARI is being really nice to Joey and saying hes fun and shes excited to be there and hes like ACTUALLY Im into Carolina. Woah. Okay, I know KARI may kind of look like Crazy Eyes but she seems nice and shes actually being genuine. So in my drunken state rn I am very mad for her.

Joey has officially moved to my shit list. And I dont even mean that because hes a trashman. Where he quite literally has to pick up shit. Get it? Ill see myself out.

Andre and Alisha seem to be getting along but IDK, they kinda act like little children. They talk a big game about how they are really into each other but I just cant see it. And Im pretty much a fucking expert at this show.

And none for Tyler and Hannah, bye!

THE TRUTH BOOTH

Andre and Alicia to the booth because the house isnt fully brain-dead. Everyone Is like “THEY ARE SO STRONG! THEYRE IN LOVE AFTER A WEEK.”

See, you say strong, I say fucking crazy.

And guess what, Im right motherfuckersNO MATCH.

Alicia starts crying and saying she doesnt want to be here. Damn, okay then fly tf outta here, what?

Hannah is like “HEY I KNOW YOUR HEART JUST BROKE, BUT IM GONNA GO AFTER ANDRE.” Its all about the subtle game. Hannah, could you like, chill your hoe ass down for a sec?

Hannah and Andre are talking and hes like I knew we werent a match and Im everyone at home is like wait you just told Alicia man, thats fucked up.

Andre and Hannah start making out because #drama.

Alicia starts flipping the fuck out and is like YOURE A LIAR AND A FLIRTER AND A MINGLER!!!

Whats a mingler? Just someone who mingles? I feel like thats real nondescript. Im going to need a full definition plz. DM me.

Andres like “THESE GIRLS ARE CATCHING FEELINGS!” Uh, its not just girls. Joeys over here acting like a baby back bitch.

Hoes, am I right?

THE MATCHUP

The boys get to pick tonight and this ought to be a shit show because none of them strike me as scholars.

Oswaldo picks KARI. Random, dont care.

Ozzy picks Kathryn because he wants that birthday sex. Ozzys like she makes me feel like home. Uh, Ozzy thats because you are home. Youre a local, your house is like, down the street.

Jaylen picks Kam, fucking up the thing she had with Eddie.

Eddie picks Shannon, womp womp.

Derrick pity picks Alicia.

Hayden, who is sporting a pair of capris, picks Taylor. Obviously Taylor wants to be with Tyler so this is def a surprise. She actually says those exact words and Hayden has now purchased a summer home on friendzone island.

Tyler says something fucking stupid about how Hayden is doing him a favor? Idk his foot is so far up his mouth and Taylors like 3 seconds away from putting her foot in his ass. So much for team normal.

Andre picks Hannah. Alicia is like “IT IS WHAT IT IS” but also wants to murder Hannah.

Michael caves and picks Gianna. WTF.

Joey picks Carolina and they kiss because THEY ARE DUMB THATS WHY.

Mike picks Casandra because shes his uptown girl.

Tyler picks Tee and they both are like, “Welp. Fuck me right?”

Okay, so this is sketch. Not looking so hot for them rn.

Were waiting for beams and Im drinking, thinking no fucking way are they going to blackout. Its only week 2. But in the words of President-Elect: The polls were wrong! The experts were wrong! Sad!

And yes, THEY BLACKOUT.

They all lost half a million dollars. Im laughing but its a nervous laugh because now they all are going to be on suicide watch or something.

Everyone has to deal with the fact that the person they are with is not their match. No Mike/Cas, Ozzy/Kathryn, Gianna/Michael, Joey/Carolina or Hannah/Andre. WOW. Major blow. Im loving this.

A sad song starts playing and people start crying. Damn, this just got as depressing as Mikes family life.

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