#hmmm i wonder what could've inspired this

[xenasaur]

need a fat girl sitting on my face and eating sushi off my tummy/tits

[lukabrina-viperhound]

Never Love An Anchor - Prologue:

Luka Couffaine was drowning. months of plotting and rallying and carefully preparing, all gone down the great blue ocean, along with his body and soon, his soul.

and just as he is about to accept his fate, while closing his eyes and ceasing his struggle to stay afloat, he catches a glimpse of brilliant orange and shimmering teal, swimming his way quickly.

He awoke to a gorgeous face haloed by the glaring sun, with too many questions and not enough air in his lungs to ask any of them, he began coughing up saltwater.

“Oh, oh my. Are you alright? I'm not sure humans are supposed to do that. Not that I’ve really drowned any myself to know for sure…” The gorgeous face spoke with an equally lovely voice. So lovely, in fact, that it took Luka a second to process the disturbing nature of the sentence.

“What-“ he had to cough and heave and cough again before continuing breathlessly. “What are you?” But the question was redundant. He was saved from drowning by a beautiful woman with a melodious voice who, by her own admission, was expected to drown humans. something she herself was not.

His savior was a siren.

“Calm down, sailor. If I wanted you dead then I wouldn't have bothered saving you, now would I?” the beautiful siren reassured him.

“That’s not nearly as hopeful a sentiment as you believe it to be. After all, what could a siren want with a man that she keeps him alive for?” Luka found himself arguing against his favor in his anxiety.

“The only hunger I wish to satiate with you, sailor - “ the siren leaned in close with the top half of her body, honeyed voice laced with a dangerous edge, closing in on his waist and allowing the suggestive nature of her words to linger for only a moment before innocently submerging her body back in the water and completing her sentence, “is my curiosity!”

“Curiosity? Of what kind?” Luka asked, suspicious and still a bit flustered.

“Oh, just the healthy, intellectual kind.” She explained readily, smirking subtly at having riled him up so successfully over nothing. The other sirens thought her a boring prude, but she just made a sailor blush! “A seafaring man such as yourself, one I found drowning no less, surely has some stories to tell?” She finished her explanation, phrasing the ending more like an invitation, perhaps a request.

What could she say? She loved unraveling a good mystery.

“And what exactly is in it for me if I tell you my whole sad story? You getting entertainment at the expense of me reliving my trauma hardly sounds like a fair trade.” Luka shot back, now slightly more at ease despite his better judgment and bantering freely.

“What? Does my excellent companionship not suffice? You do realize I could've just left once I rescued you and you'd be all alone here for who knows how long. As I've said, I'm no human expert, but even I know you don't do well in isolation.” Her words had a teasing edge to them, something about her tone letting him know that leaving him behind and alone was never an option for her. He found himself feeling just as curious about her as she was about him.

“Be that as it may, I still feel like this isn't an equal exchange. So what if we came to an agreement?” Making a deal with any sort of magical creature was dangerous business, but the siren was right about one thing. It's not like he was going anywhere anytime soon, so he might as well take a chance.

Sabrina's smile widened in excitement and her tail splashed around in the water. “I'm listening…”

“Ask me a question about myself, and I will endeavor to answer to the best of my ability. Then, I ask you one of my many questions and you give me some much-needed answers about yourself. Does that sound acceptable?”

“hmmm… well, sailor, you drive a hard bargain. But I believe you've got yourself a deal!”

Art by the wonderful @the-lavender-creator who helped inspire this fic, along with this song;

[theromaboo]

Inspired by @just-late-roman-republic-things's toga alignment chart, I will look at images of things that have been called togas and rate them.

Up first, this specimen down below.

0/10 That is not a Party Toga Costume for Adults, that is a red scarf you've tucked into your belt. If this was what a toga was, Cato the Younger would NOT have gotten away with not wearing a tunica underneath.

Now this one below.

2/10 eBay is clearly very confused over if it's Greek or Roman, but it's certainly a step up over the previous one. This time, the scarf is not tucked into the belt (there isn't one) and is just hanging freely and honestly could kind of be a little like a toga if it wasn't scarf-shaped.

Now, this one below—oh hey that's me!

13-year-old me strikes again. Believe it or not, my French teacher will call my paenula a toga shortly after that picture was taken. I wonder what her idea of a toga was if a paenula with a hood sewn on counted.

1/10 it's literally a paenula.

Fun fact, before I sewed the hood on, it actually was toga-shaped, albeit too thick and too small.

For a second I was spooked out because I thought 13-year-old me had momentarily gained an extra ghostly finger in this picture. But no, the mirror was just dirty as fuck. Whoops!

For that one, 6/10 because it's the first one that actually resembles a toga! But I 100% draped it wrong and it was too small anyway. And so hot. I'm sweating just remembering how hot I felt taking that photo. It's not feasible to wear it if the temperature where you are is above 10°C.

But what if the temperature is below that?

I changed into a thin T-shirt and a short skirt, took out that exact paenula and wrapped it around my body, and stepped outside in the cold, Canadian night.

(it's actually obscenely hot out right now. Right now it's -6°C, which is around 20°F for you Amerians. That is extraordinarily hot for January. It's because of El Niño. Normally, at night, this time of the year, it's around -30°C, which is cold. That's like -22°F. And them usually there are a few days of at least -40°C, which interestingly is also -40°F. So -6°C right now is nothing. But it's cold enough to prove a point)

Once I was outside, I set a timer for five minutes on my phone.

Observations:

I probably should've put on footwear. My bare toes in the snow are not having a fun time right now.

My god, this thing stops wind like a brick wall. I feel wind on the exposed parts of my body and nothing on the covered parts.

My right arm is starting to get a little chilly. It's completely exposed.

My toesies...

Hmmm I've reached the half-way point and I don't really feel cold. Of course, the exposed parts of my body are a bit cold and my feet are quite numb, but the covered parts of my body are starting to get really toasty. Like, my left shoulder is actually starting to get quite hot.

One minute remaining and I'm fine. The night is peaceful and still, and quiet. The stars are bright tonight. Life is quite beautiful.

Oh. The time has finished!

This paenula-turned-toga is so warm that it actually is pretty appropriate to wear in -6°C. If I was wearing pants and a long sleeved shirt and most importantly shoes, I would've been quite comfortable outside. If the toga were longer, I could've covered more parts of my body, and that would've made it warmer too.

I don't know what I was trying to prove in this experiment but 10/10 would try again. Too bad I can't give this to Octavian because he wouldn't have to wear four tunics if he had this. It's a bit small as a toga but it's warm nevertheless. I forgot which fabric it was but it was the cheapest thick one.

I want to judge more "togas" later but now I'm tired and my feet need a warm bath. I hope you guys enjoyed!

[annaphoenix1994]

Ch.129 - Lure Me

Previous Chapter - Masterlist 1; Masterlist 2 - Next Chapter

Simon discovers just how enticing pheromone perfume is...

Author's note: I'm so sorry it took so long to update! I've had this chapter nearly finished about two days ago, but work and life has been so crazy. My job is going well, but I work 6 days a week and only have Sundays off right now and I start my evening part time job this coming weekend. On top of that, my truck decided to give me some more trouble yesterday and now my rear axle is leaking brake fluid. I know how to fix it, but I have to wait until I get paid again to replace all of the seals because I refuse to take it to a mechanic and pay $500 for something I could've done myself when the parts I need are less than $20. Rant over! Enjoy this chapter heavily inspired by the TikTok trend where girls put pheromone perfume on to see how their men react. Kiera and Simon really needed a chapter together. :)

*

With a motivated gaze, Kiera entered the drug store in search of a pregnancy test. Although she wasn't sure she was pregnant again, after the fact they had been trying for the past couple of months, she wanted to be sure. Once she had located the tests, she grabbed two boxes of different brands before making her way to the register, seeing her best friend who had coincidentally decided to stop at the same store on her way home from work, except she was after the clearance decor instead of a pregnancy test. "Always buying decorations, I see." Kiera teased, watching Kristen turn around in surprise once she recognized Kiera's voice.

“I can’t help it! They’re on clearance!” Kristen giggled, taking the receipt from the cashier before standing back to let Kiera place her items on the belt. “Hmmm, whatcha got there?” She arched her brow.

“Don’t act dumb, I told you me and Simon were trying for another.”

“Mhm. I haven’t talked to you in a week – didn’t know if things had changed since then.”

“Well, I can fix that. Are you free tomorrow?”

“Now don’t you act dumb,” Kristen giggled. “I’m always off on the weekend and lucky for you, I have no plans.”

“How about you come over tomorrow? Simon is taking Baler hunting and I’ll be at the house with the kids. We’ll throw on some movies and make some food that we’re not supposed to have.”

“Sounds like a plan! Is your mom going to be around? I haven’t seen her since the funeral—”

“I’ll invite her, too. She’s been asking about you,” Kiera assured her, smiling warmly at the cashier while she retrieved her receipt and bag. “Thank you.”

“Have a good evening.”

“You too.”

“Oh, meet me at my car. I have something I wanted to give you!” Kristen chimed, the pair exiting the store before Kiera joined her by walking to her SUV, watching her best friend smile with glee before retrieving a small purple bag from the floorboard of the passenger seat. “Crown Royal?”

“No, you stupid bitch!” She teased. “Clearly, you’re still an alcoholic if you think every purple bag is a Crown Royal bag!”

“A sex toy?”

“No! Open it!”

Kiera breathed a laugh as she did as she was told, opening the bag to pull out a small box, opening the box itself to remove the vial of what looked like lip gloss. “Can you guess what it is now, smartie-pants?”

“Uh… Lip gloss?”

“It’s pheromone perfume.”

“Wha?”

“You know… It’s been going around online for the longest time. Girls get it and put a bit of it on so their men go nuts for them. I figured you’d like to try it and see if Simon notices it.”

“Oh, he notices everything,” Kiera giggled. “But thank you. I wonder if it legitimately works.”

“Only one way to find out,” Kristen winked. “Let me know how it works! It worked for me!”

“I definitely will.”

*

Once Kiera had arrived home, she removed the vial of perfume from her purse, inspecting the instructions before rolling a spot behind each of her ears and on the inside of her wrists, closing the container before putting it back into her purse before making her way inside the house.

As if her hormones couldn’t have spiked enough at the thought of Simon being drawn into her scent like a moth to the flame, the sight of him alone nearly drove her into a wall.

There he was, lounging on the couch with Jacob in his arms, the house warm as Simon preferred to lounge around the house shirtless while wearing black sweatpants, the hem of his boxer briefs peeking from behind the elastic of his waistband, his tattooed forearm highlighting the tight muscle tone of his arm, the muscles tight as they contracted while holding Jacob close, his shoulder broad, and his hair lazily swept back by his fingers. Fuck, if I’m not pregnant after I take this test, I better be by the week’s end, she sighed to herself, forcing herself to concentrate and pretend that she didn’t purposely put herself into his primal desire once he smelled the new scent on her. “Hey, babe.”

His head turned to look at her from over the top of the couch, grinning at the sight of her finally arriving home to him.

“Hey, love. Your mum said she’d be over around eight. She told me she was bringing over a casserole and a cheesecake.”

“I’ll make some sides, then,” She nodded, setting her purse on the kitchen island. “Where’s Baler?”

She heard Simon scoff before standing to his feet, gathering both twins by each of his arms before bringing them into the kitchen to see their mother, his senses for primal desire heightening once he agreed with himself that something was different about his wife. She’s still just as beautiful, she still looks the same, but a part of me wants to bite a chunk out of her – fuck she smells so good.

“He’s at the barn,” He huffed, forcing himself to fight the monstrous urge that was beginning to boil in his loins. “That boy of ours is going to be the death of us, love.”

“Why? What did he do?”

“Where should I start?” He huffed, securely sitting Jacob into the highchair while Kiera did the same, placing a kiss to Evie’s temple before securing her into the highchair, curling her index finger against the baby’s lip to collect the loose saliva that pooled there. “Caught him and the other wranglers playing some stupid game of chicken with a bloody bull—”

“Cowboy Poker?” Kiera scoffed, surprised. “Is he okay?!”

“His pride is more hurt than his body. Well, probably both,” Simon shrugged. “Busted lip and bruised ribs, but he’ll be alright. A little more chore as a punishment until late then getting up early in the morning to go hunting. It’ll do him some good.”

“What else did he do?”

“Caught him drinking whiskey. Should’ve made him drink a half of another bottle to make him sick so he won’t do it again because if I just punish him for it, he’ll keep doing it.”

“As much as I agree, he’s also a teenager, but he has some brains in that head of his and I think he’s smart enough to know right from wrong.”

“I hope you’re right, love,” He breathed, his gaze watching her as she proceeded to do minor chores around the kitchen, unaware that her husband was watching her every move like a hawk, her intense scent nearly driving him mad. “Something is… different about you.”

“Just another day,” She giggled. “What do you think is different?”

“I can’t put my finger on it. Don’t take me wrong, but you… You smell so bloody good.” He huffed, stepping closer to her, the minor scent driving him further and further over the edge, her playful body language being no less than a tease at this point.

“I take it you like my new perfume,” She hummed. “I’ve had it since before we met. I just never wore it until now.”

“I can assure you, love – if you would’ve worn that the day we met, I would’ve gotten myself killed in the line of fire or have had you bent over my cot in the barracks far before I ever came home with you.” He breathed, his nose now pressed to the thin skin behind her ear, inhaling the divine scent that increased his heartrate.

“Is that so? I would’ve liked that…”

His arms were on either side of her, his palms pressed firmly against the edge of the counter, his veins protruding and an erection threatening to push against his sweatpants. “Are you putting a spell on me, love?”

“Maybe…” She hummed, giving him further access to her neck, chills erecting along her spine when she felt his warm lips press into the hot skin beneath them.

“Who am I kidding – you’ve had a spell on me since day one, but this, whatever this is that’s drawing me to you more than I have before – fuck, I don’t even know what I’m talking about right now.”

“What’s going through that mind of yours, babe?” She breathed.

“Do you want to know the descriptive version or the simplified reason?” He replied lowly.

“I think I want to hear what’s really going through my husband’s mind…”

“Right now, I really want to put the kids to bed and bend you over this counter…”

“Well, you can’t do that, babe.”

“What’s stopping me?”

“I guess I have to remind you now that you said my own mother is bringing a casserole over…”

“That’s what rooms are for, love,” He whispered, smirking against her skin while his erection subtly pressed against her rear.

Although Simon was nearly driven wild by her scent alone, he hadn’t known about the effect he was having on her, too. His shirtless torso, his tattoos, the way his own smell lingered in her senses, soon finding herself pressing her thighs together. “I’m going to put the kids in the nursery.” He spoke softly in her ear, leaving a sloppy kiss behind on her neck before leaving her flustered against the counter.

“I-I’ll help you,” She nearly panted, picking up Evie while Simon grasped Jacob, taking the drowsy infants to their cribs to nurse on a pacifier. Although the twins had their “moments” of consistent energy, they always seemed to settle down between the hours of seven and nine, which worked out perfect for Kiera and Simon as they both loved to have structure as well as a routine.

After they spent a few moments settling the twins into their crib for the night, Kiera softly whispered a “Goodnight, babies, mommy loves you,” before dimming the lamp on the nightstand that separated their cribs, meeting Simon at the doorway, nearly flustered at how he leant against the frame, his arm extended above his head to support his weight, nearly towering over her as she approached… nervously?

“Why so nervous, love?” He smirked.

“You’re just so… tall.” She breathed.

“Took you nearly four years to come up with that solution?” He teased, arching his brow, letting his hands fall to rest on her hips, gently pulling her into him, the pair oblivious to how their heartrates soon matched the other.

“Keep your hands on me, Simon.”

“I can do that.” He replied softly, leaning his head down to claim her lips with his while he selfishly grabbed at her ass, giving it a firm slap before he effortlessly lifted her onto him, pleased at how her legs wrapped around her waist, groaning into her mouth when he felt her tug on the roots of his hair. “Fuck.” He groaned.

“Take me to our bed,” She whispered, her tone nearly dominant, which Simon loved.

“Feeling cheeky are you?”

“Just a little bit…” She hummed, feeling Simon’s grip on her loosen once he had gotten them close to the bed, smirking when he felt Kiera’s palms press firmly against his chest, taken aback by how she seemed to effortlessly push him onto the bed, straddling his hips once he was completely under her, his hands resting on the top of her thighs. “Do you know what it does to me when I come home and you’re walking around shirtless?”

“I won’t do it anymore.” He teased.

“I didn’t say that, Simon, shut up.”

“Mm, say that again, love.”

“Have a kink for a dominant woman?”

“Fuck yes I do,” He winced, chills decorating his chest and arms when her palm rested on the base of his neck, right against his collar bone. “I’ll be on my bloody knees for you, love.”

“It’s me who’s going to be on my knees,” She breathed, leaning forward to press a kiss to the area beneath his jaw, rolling her hips against his erection, pleased to hear a whine leave his throat. “Watch me, Simon.”

He nodded, his brown eyes piercing into her hazel irises as he watched her sit up on his waist, crossing her arms across her torso as she slowly lifted the thin fabric of her blouse, revealing the maroon lace that drove Simon crazy at the sight. Of course, he had seen her in lace before, but maroon? His erection was almost painful at the sight. Fuck, I’m going to rip that off of you!

“No touching… yet,” She giggled, playfully slapping his hands away, watching him smirk at her authoritative tone. “Hands above your head, baby.”

“Yes, ma’am,” He smirked, enjoying the feeling of her hands forcing his above his head. “What if these so happen to leave their designated post?”

“Then I guess you can go the rest of the night guessing what I was going to do,” She arched her brow. “Keep those hands where they are.”

He breathed heavily, closing his eyes briefly to enjoy her touch, his former insecurities and fears no longer a part of his vocabulary every time her fingers grazed over his ribcage, touching him to her own pleasure instead of his. When he felt her breath hovering over his dripping shaft, he whined when he finally felt her lips envelope his sensitive tip. He wanted to touch her – so bad – but a part of him wanted to continue hearing her assert her dominance with him, but another part of him didn’t want to feel the absence of her hot mouth around him just to punish him for disobeying her. Just bloody wait until I get my hands on you, love, he huffed to himself.

Her head bobbed slowly as she took him with comfort, not once did she gag like before, the only sounds filling the room was his whimpering and the wet sounds of her saliva mixing with his excitement. “Fuck,” He hissed, breaking her rule by bringing his hands down to tangle in her hair, nearly biting his own lip when she abruptly separated her mouth from his shaft to force his hands back up over his head, Simon grinning in satisfaction at her actions. “Cheeky.”

“What did I tell you?” She whispered.

“I heard what you told me, but I don’t play by the rules, love,” He groaned, his eyes fluttering when he felt her core sliding against his shaft, teasing him while her hands stayed pressed against his wrists to keep them in place, the pair groaning in unison when they connected intimately. “Fuck, you just fucking wait until I get a hold of you, darling.”

“I love when you threaten me with a good time,” She panted, rolling her hips against him, taking him deeper and deeper with every move of her hips, the lace from her lingerie subtly rubbing against him. “Big, strong man like you under me… Now that is something to get off on.” She teased.

“You can use me any time your little heart desires, love,” He breathed into her mouth when she had finally rewarded him with a kiss, his arms snaking around her waist once she had granted him permission to touch her, his hand grasping the lace thong that still dressed her hips and forcing it to the side, giving him better access to thrust his hips upward into her. “How special was this little number on you?”

“I can always buy another one if that’s what you’re asking.”

“I was hoping you’d say that,” He smirked, leaning up to toss her onto her back, sitting back on his knees while his grasp on her lace underwear was effortlessly ripped free of her skin by his stone grip. “Have to get this shite out of my way.”

“And to think I thought you loved this on me.” She giggled, her mouth agape when he entered her again, legs wrapping around his waist while his hand cupped her jaw, forcing her mouth to be in symmetry with his.

“Oh, I do love it, but I love it even more when I get to rip it off,” He hissed, his grip tightening slightly beneath her jaw. “This spell you’ve put on me… Fuck.”

“Worked hard on it.” She giggled.

He wanted to reply, but the way she gripped him was too good to risk a sentence over. The way her nails dug into the thick muscle of his back, how her calves tightened around his thighs, the way her hips were at the perfect angle for him to feel every ridge of her core, how her lips placed such loving and encouraging kisses to his throat and under his jaw. “Choke me, Simon.”

“Tell me if I hurt you, love.”

She nodded, gasping when the warmth of his hand cupped her entire throat, squeezing either side softly before adding more pressure, the blood rushing to her head before the sensation of his thrusts became intense with pleasure, her heartrate increasing with excitement, unable to help but think about how many tracheas he had crushed with the same hand, yet it was gentle with his wife and children.

And that thought alone sent an adrenaline rush to her very core, the intense wave of an immediate orgasm pulling him into a pure wave of ecstasy that couldn’t be stopped. His hips were angled perfectly against her, thrusting relentlessly into her as if his life depended on it, the headboard banging against the wall while his hands cupped the crown of her head as she gasped through her orgasm, his soon to follow when he felt her walls spasming around him as her legs tightened around him, inviting him to mark her as his.

Just like every time.

Once he had come down from his high, his hot breath fanned against her neck, replacing the subtle red mark from his grip on her neck with apologetic kisses, feeling the burning from her scratches on his back forming welts. “Fuck—” He breathed, pressing his nose against the skin behind her ear, still smelling the scent of the perfume that had lured him further into her spell of hormones onto him, wanting to fuck her through the mattress every time he smelled it.

And he’d willingly accept that fate.

Their skin was layered with a thin sheen of sweat, panting against each other to catch their breath while Simon continued to press soft and heavy kisses to her collarbone and base of her neck, his heart thumping with excitement once more when that familiar smell made its way into his senses, shocked to feel that he was still hard after having just climaxed. “I don’t know what you’re doing to me, love.”

“Is that a problem?” She giggled, feeling the tip of his nose resting against the skin below her jaw.

“The only problem is that I’ve already came and still hard.” He breathed a chuckle.

“You know how you should fix that?”

“Hm?”

“Fuck me again.” 

[starleska]

Thank you for your quick response and your wonderful feedback!!! i am feeling :') (happy)!!!!! I actually have been writing for aaages, it's just that my main writing blog is heavily nsfw and has dark content (who could've figured that i've written hypno content before! /j), so with Clown not being decided yet on allowing NSFW works it felt Bad to post it on there ;; But I always just loveee blending horror and intimacy! (esp yandere stuff. so i might write smth abt that later as well)

Hmmm honestly I might make a little Welcome Home sideblog because I had a lot of fun writing it and I've been having thoughts!! so i might just do that honestly... You have full permission (and encouragement!) to use any of my ideas for inspo HAHA If i end up making a sideblog, I'll message you!

d'aww you're so very welcome sweetheart!! 🥰💖 aha, you've been clocked!! that makes so much sense, you have a wonderful flair for writing something truly wicked 😉 i think that's very kind of you - i'm really glad we're all doing our part to respect Clown's wishes, even though the desire to write the spicier stuff is certainly there!! don't worry yourself at all - it's no secret that i also write the more hardcore stuff from time to time, which is why i keep this blog 18+ where possible. it's impossible to stop the deluge of younger fans from pouring in and interacting with innocent posts, and i don't want to take that away!! but that's why i tag so thoroughly;;; it's all that we can do :3c ahhh that would be amazing!!! you absolutely should - just see how many people love what you wrote 🥰 and i'd certainly be interested in reading more of your work, even outside of this fandom!! no pressure whatsoever if you'd like to keep your identity a secret, but do feel free to message me off-anon if you're feeling brave. you can find my AO3 linked in my pinned post, so you know you're amongst friends 😂💖 oh you treasure, thank you so much!! your wonderful writing has seriously inspired me and i've just started an honest-to-goodness fanfic based on your concept 👀 i owe you so much!! :3c

[beautifulterriblequeen]

B2:S - Chapter 5

Much of this series will be about the differences and additions in the novel version, and how they contribute to my understanding of story canon. But there will be character appreciation, the odd theory and headcanon, and suchlike as well.

Here be lots of Viren deets, Best Boy Soren deets, some writing/continuity stuff, worldbuilding appreciation and half of a theory, Detective Rayla, Moon Temple geeking, Claudium and dark magic, and more!

Spoilers for Book Two: Sky below.

(I know for darn sure that I wrote up a post for chapter 4, but I can't find it anywhere so I guess Tumblr ate it and I'll have to redo it at some point, but today is not that day)

Viren, my evil dude, my bad guy, coming in clutch with the worldbuilding and backstory again! If you want to know decades of information, you gotta talk to Viren. Or read his scenes, at least. Here, he seems to not sleep much when he has a big problem to analyze his way through. Solutions trump pretty much everything else in this guy's life, and he's had a really hard week with a lot of new and complicated problems. Of course he's getting sleep-deprived trying to find his way through them all.

Harrow put so much trust in Viren when he made him High Mage! He just threw himself extra hard at that Lady Justice blindfold, didn't he? Didn't really want to see what Viren was doing in his magic study, so he left Viren to his devices. And Viren has a lot of devices.

Also, this is fascinating: Viren made the secret passage to his "less official study" in Katolis Castle! And he was inspired to do so by the way his own mentor kept the Puzzle House. What else could a Puzzle House be, except a place with secret passages? Yay! secret headcanon that "the Puzzle House" is just "Katolis Castle" from Kid Viren's perspective tho

So either Viren built all of those passageways, or at least the ones to his dungeon. Which means he has to have, or know where to get, a stash of those glowing blue Moonshadow crystals. Hmmm.

I can't wait to learn more about Kpp'Ar and young Viren, btw. From this description of Viren and all his literal secret ways, it feels like another parallel between Viren and Runaan, with the whole "secretive paths, members only, insider knowledge" type stuff. Only the really cool members of this cult club get to know the secrets, and guess what, kid, you're cool now but you can never tell anyone, okay? Our secret.

Yeahhh, that'll never backfire in any way for either of them.

Kpp'Ar calling puzzles and secrets "man-made magic," though. Yes sir, knowledge is indeed power.

This chapter mentions Runaan by name, from Viren's perspective. Generally that would imply that Viren knows his name, even though assassins do not share their names, and Runaan didn't seem to give his to Viren in the first book. However, there was a scene in book one where the last paragraph switched perspective from Viren to Runaan - a technique that's very common in visual media like movies and shows and gives you that "ohoho they left the room and didn't notice this, but you do!" vibe. Using Runaan's name there in book one, where Viren couldn't see it but readers could, helps them keep track of the assassin's story arc while maintaining Viren's racism.

So in book two, in which Runaan has no onscreen scenes (alas), using his name in a scene that calls back to the events in book one helps us remember what happened in that dungeon cell. It would be a bit muddier to recall the specifics if Viren kept thinking about Runaan as "Elf." So I'm cool with the perspective nudge because it serves a narrative purpose: clarity. But I'm also enjoying the angst of considering that, somehow, Viren learned Runaan's name either during or after the coining spell. Mwa ha ha haaa. (Obligatory "Keep my pretty name outta your mouth" goes here)

Okay, back to Viren's scheming! He took the mirror because it was human-sized in a dragon lair. He knew it didn't really fit there, and that made it interesting, so he stole it. But he realized it was really powerful when Runaan wouldn't tell him squat about it - the assassin's instinct to protect Xadian secrets from human hands meant that Viren was holding a very powerful Xadian secret. And that just made him want it all the more. Ah, Runaan, if only your relationship with lying was, like, the exact opposite of what it is. Nyx could've spun Viren a believable tale in 2 minutes flat.

Also of interest: Viren considers his cursed coins to be a final fate. He expects Runaan to remain in his coin forever. With the Chekhov's coins still extant in the storyline, we can assume that they'll come up again eventually, but Viren has no current plans to do anything with his elf money except carry it around.

It's worth noting that Viren admits that he got impatient when he trapped Runaan in the coin. Runaan's first fate in Katolis was supposed to be death at Soren's hands, but Claudia "saved" him from that. His next fate was to become spell components, but Viren's frustration with his stubbornness "saved" him from that fate, too. So now he's in a coin, where no one can chop him up at all. Yay? No, boo!

We get one last line about Runaan before Viren shifts gears: he makes a point of noting for us that Runaan's shackles are still locked shut. However much of Runaan made it into that coin - body, soul, hair care products - he was magicked there, pulled right out of his restraints.

The creepy black liquid that Viren pours right into his eyes is the last of a powerful potion he got from Kpp'Ar, and its recipe is ancient! Humans used it back in the age of Elarion to see through the illusions of the world. And we get a delightfully creepy bit of description about the preparation of this serum, which makes it abundantly clear that it's a Moon magic-based concoction, harvested from eyeless vipers on a moonless night, with the threat of irrevocable madness ("madness" by whose definition, though) if it's done wrong-

Hang on. Hold up. This is a Plato's Cave reference. OH MY GOD.

No no I'm fine, this is brilliant. Sorry, sorry, I couldn't figure why there was so much description for a potion prep that Viren didn't even have to perform himself. But now I get it. I see the light. HA. I should make a separate post for this, it's amazing.

Anyway, for reference, the humans who used this serum were called the Oracles of Ophidia, and Ophidia is a taxonomy group that includes all modern snakes. Can you say "creepy ancient snake rites"? I can! Woo!

Viren activates the serum with a spell, but apparently he's never done it before. He's not sure if it's supposed to be hot and bubbly, and he worries that it's been tainted by moonlight.

Oh, I do hope so.

The magic potion hurts, a lot. Viren will do just about anything, to himself or anyone, to do what he believes is necessary. He just risked madness and blindness to find out what this mirror does! Viren. Can you just. Take a nap or something. Have a Snickers.

This chapter gives us a fun clue that I don't remember from the show: when Viren's vision clears and he can see, his reflection has white pupils and the room reflected in the mirror has inverted colors. You know where else has inverted colors?

You know who else got white pupils for a hot second?

Okay, now it makes sense! Viren and Lujanne were both seeing into the realm beyond life and death. Him with his moon magic potion, and her with her moon powers on a full moon night at the Moon Nexus. Which is Very Interesting! Is it a direct hint about Aaravos's location, or just a separate cool detail? Orrr, does it look like a direct hint because Aaravos is actually trapped in the world beyond life and death, but it's actually separate and we'll see something about white pupils again later on?

Viren really does have self-esteem issues, we all picked up on it with his rant at his reflection. He throws a fit when he catches himself wondering if he's actually worthless. In the book version of his tantrum, he shoves the mirror and hurls a candelabra instead of flipping a table. He didn't need to shove the mirror to set the fire, but it's in here. Foreshadowing that perhaps, if push comes to shove, Viren will choose himself over Aaravos? Giving Aaravos time to peek through and see that the coast is clear?

Soren, my boyyyyy. He has a rough night at the Moon Nexus because two sides of him are fighting with each other. He struggles to understand Callum's friendship with Rayla, and he also fantasizes about chopping off Rayla's head. One of these is a pretty ordinary thing to do. The other is Soren's internalization of what he needs to do to gain his father's approval. If he brought his dad a chopped off elf head every week, he'd probably feel a lot more confident because Viren would praise him a lot more.

Okay, okay, omg, is it just me, or does the "Moonshadow Madness" story, as it's told in the book, seem like Soren just doesn't know what a monsterfucker is? He thinks an elf bite puts humans under a spell. But vampires are sexy, and some people want them to do more to them than just bite them. A passionate kiss under the moonlight could look very bitey, especially if one of the participants has horns and you're already culturally trained to hate them. No yeah, I'm already headcanoning an actual human-elf kiss that got misunderstood by an observer long ago.

it's Lujanne isn't it, we all know, because what is a love spell but a sweet soft illusion, I mean how else does she get supplies for her Caldera, I ask you, and also Corvus was totally sent to investigate once and he told Soren at camp what he saw

And then back to magefam angst: Soren pretending that his sister's nose-tapping is stupid, even though he actually thinks it's cool, just because their dad thinks it's stupid. Viren, istg. Let your kids like harmless things. It's so cute that Soren taps his nose back at her, though! Like they have their own sibling code. I hope we get to see the nose tap again, especially now that they've chosen different sides. It could mean so much, that they're not too far apart yet.

Rayla knows what buttery pancakes smell like. I love this. Do Moonshadow elves have butter and pancakes, does Rayla eat a stack of eight giant pancakes in the morning? Orrrr it is just illusion food? I don't care, let Rayla have pancakes! Everyone loves pancakes. Pancakes will save the world. this message brought to you by the fact that I can't eat pancakes rn, send help

I love that Rayla is both sus of the pancakes and hungry, and that combines into a very motivated "I will get to the bottom of this" attitude. She kind of goes into Poirot Mode when she inserts herself into Soren and Ellis's conversation about Ava, explaining about the wolf's illusion leg and segueing into her claim that the pancakes taste sus. Claudia confirms she used dark magic, and Rayla is furious. It's different than the show's version in that it puts Rayla in detective mode, as the only Moonshadow elf in the scene, and boy does she take that role seriously. Also, she doesn't actually swallow the dark magic pancake bite. It ends up on the ground just like Lujanne's grubs from that earlier meal. These poor kids are so nutrient-starved. You guys gotta eat!!

Rayla's determination and prejudices and the fact that she super knows Harrow is dead all dovetail to make her try repeatedly to persuade Callum that Soren and Claudia are Not To Be Trusted. It's nice that the book keeps taking the time to point out that Rayla is Well Intentioned But Flawed, just like Callum and pretty much every other character in the show. No one is Right All The Time, no one Knows More Than Everyone Else.

Callum loving the sound of Claudia's unique voice is so wholesome. When you like someone, it only makes sense that you like all the things about them that they can't change - like the sound of Claudia's voice. Her choices with dark magic, not so much!

Claudia seems to have the same concerns Soren does about Callum's relationship with Rayla, but she comes out and asks him. The inherent possession implied in "your elf" is interesting, though. Elves are not people to Claudia. They're enemies who can be disassembled for the magic inside them. So maybe more like robots than living beings, if she knew what a robot was. Maybe she heard Soren's "Moonshadow Madness" story and realized he totally missed the kissing implications - but she didn't, and now she's genuinely worried that Rayla could kiss Callum under a full moon and enchant him to do her will. Good thing it's only a half moon, then!

Okay, Callum nervously making a puppet hand and then not knowing what to do with his hands and freaking out about itching and moving and pointy elbows is such a ND mood. The sudden stress of knowing that someone else is noticing your existence and maybe you're Not Existing Right, amirite? Ugh, poor Callum.

The Moon Temple! Omg it's so pretty in the description! Made to be beautiful and useful, full of knowledge but also allowing light and life inside (butterflies and vines). Lujanne, when can I move in, please? Also, it's all the more angsty because Lujanne is the only one who gets to see this beautiful place, but it has lots of chairs and shelves and tables, and it was meant to be used by lots of people. :(((

Claudia knows some of the runes on the walls. She isn't in a hurry to copy the rest of them down or anything, either. Her spellwriting is very precise, and she's a skilled mage. Her father would have made sure she was aware of the dangers of drawing sloppy runes, as much as he made her aware of the dangers of doing dark magic wrong. And the whole point of dark magic is that it's easier to learn than primal magic. Claudia supports her dad and their shared knowledge and life path. She's not gonna go nuts over an elf library she can't translate.

Side note: Between Claudia knowing some Moon runes and Viren building a secret passageway and a dungeon and lighting it with the same blue crystals that Lujanne and Ethari use for light--and Claudia exclaiming that she loves ruins--I wonder once more if there are really Moonshadow ruins somewhere in Katolis, which Viren has found and looted. Father-daughter relic hunting trip, maybe while Soren is away at camp? Omgsh that would be so wild!

Callum out here having a Viren moment with his "I feel powerless unless I've got magic that lets me help" vibes. God. I love their complicated mirroring. One of the hard differences between them is that Callum is very sure dark magic is bad because you have to kill stuff and take its power to cast spells, and he doesn't want to be a person who kills and takes like that. The line he walks to be nice to Claudia on their tour of the Cursed Caldera because he likes her, while telling her that he doesn't want to do her magic, like, ever, is so fine that it might as well be a shifting shadow on the ground. It's a very fitting conversation to be having during the half moon, with its tricks and little white lies.

Callum being out of the castle and his comfort zone, having to deal with the fact that the Claudia he loves is not quite the Claudia who's chasing him down across the kingdom, but of the two of them, he's the only one with a problem with this.

They say that if you really want to get to know someone, you should spend time with them outside their comfort zone - in heavy traffic, with a small baby, taking care of a new pet, trying a new skill, following unfamiliar directions, etc. While the castle is familiar territory for them both, Callum's never really found his comfort zone yet, while Claudia is pretty comfortable with her growing skill set. The creepy part starts to kick in when Callum begins to realize that Claudia's comfort zone encompasses a whole bunch of stuff that seems like it should make her uncomfortable... but it doesn't. But that'll be for a future chapter!

[ficklewish]

Pre Calc Sucks

a Tendou x Reader Soulmate AU

Word count: 1.6k

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: Tendou x reader

ˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ

If you were told that you'd meet your soulmate through a texting app way before you did, you'd probably laugh at their face and tell them that it's not possible for that to happen, as it only does in movies or books. Or that's what you believed. Never in a million years did you think that it would happen to anyone you knew, let alone you yourself. It was a shock, but it was welcomed with open arms, as you had finally met the love of your life, the one fated to be with you. Meeting Tendou was, by far, the best day of your life. How you first met him however…now that would be a funny bedtime story. 

ˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ

You were struggling with your art and school when you had downloaded discord. A school friend had suggested it to you, as certain servers had places for school or art help, and you had given in due to the huge lack of inspiration you had. Making an account and picking your username, it had finally been done, but once again, you were stuck. How exactly did discord work? Would it just…randomly suggest servers everyday or did you have to find them? You had left it for a while, just empty, waiting for it to be filled. Your friend had asked if you had made any online friends, and responding with no, they became confused. "Haven't you joined any servers?" You awkwardly laughed, turning away from them. "No…I don't know how discord works." You look back up at them and see the most judging look in their eyes. "You're hopeless. Here, let me help you." Taking your phone and opening your search engine, they go to a random site and start scrolling while you look over their shoulder. Seeing them go through multiple windows, they give back your phone. “There, I added you to one, you can figure out the rest from there.” Giving a small thanks, you turn to your phone, reading the instructions. “Hmmm, this is gonna take a while…” After doing a few tweaks and introducing yourself, you finally started to talk to the people on the server, learning their names and pronouns, acknowledging their age for appropriate conversations, and even adding a few friends. You had completely forgotten you were still at school, even though it was currently your lunch period. “Who knows, maybe your soulmate is in there.” Startled, you turn towards your friend then roll your eyes. The whole soulmate concept was something you used to like, but now, it was just a reminder that you hadn’t found yours yet. The whole “first place they touch you” thing was just a taunt, at least to you. Your mark was what seemed like someone's arms wrapped around you, including your upper arms. So many of your peers had already found theirs while you felt almost forgotten. It brought thoughts to your head, such as what if...your soulmate was across the world? Would you ever meet them? Did you even have one? Shoving the last thought deep into your mind. “I doubt it, shit like that only happens in movies.” Your friend looked at you, then smirked. “I don’t know about that.”

ˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ

After classes ended, you went home, a bit excited to start talking online, as childish as it sounded. You had to keep reminding yourself that you joined for school and art help, but making a few friends never hurt. Taking off your shoes and dropping your things, you sat on the couch and noticed you were home alone for the time being, your parents most likely at the market. Taking your phone out and opening the app, you begin to interact in the correct chat for school. 

"Hey! I was wondering if someone could help me with my pre calculus homework? I'm a bit stuck"

You noticed that someone was already going to respond, which comforted you greatly. 

"I could help with this! Just give me a moment!"

Checking their profile to not accidentally misgender them, you notice that they are actually a he, and he has similar interests as you. Going back to your bag and getting your notebook and textbook, you turn back to your phone and prepare to fry your brain with math. (fucking hate math, it's so COMPLICATED) 

"Alright, what did you need help with?"

Telling your "tutor" about which problems you were confused about, they immediately begin to guide you through it and point out any mistakes you made, all while not exactly telling you the answer. He had helped you understand the concept much more easier than your teacher ever did, and you were extremely grateful for that. He had even given you some extra tips on how to remember certain formulas for when exams and tests are assigned. You thanked him multiple times for helping you with your homework

"Of course! Just DM me anytime you need help, I'd gladly do so!"

And that's what you did, texting him every now and then for homework help, mainly pre calc as it was your worst subject, and you didn't want to burden him with your other classes in case he had his own to pass. Sometimes, you'd even text him because you were actually interested in him, as he had been an interesting person to talk to. Learning a bit about him and sharing a bit about yourself, you quickly formed a friendship with, who you found out a few days ago, Tendou. He'd talk about how he was a part of a volleyball club, being a 3rd year, being part of a powerhouse team, and even some personal facts about his life. Of course, he never told you exactly where he was located, which was perfectly fine, as you didn't want to disclose that information either. However, you soon started to notice that whenever Tendou would text you, you'd become giddy no matter what the conversation was about, and when someone other than Tendou would text you, you'd deflate a bit, hoping it was him. Whenever you'd be doing anything else, you were hoping that he would send you something, you were just hoping to talk to him. These feelings scared you, as you might've had a soulmate, yet you fell for Tendou, and you prayed that maybe, it would somehow work out. 

ˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ

4 months later, and Tendou being your "tutor" was still going strong, and your friendship even stronger. You had brought up meeting with him a few times, and the both of you had even planned it sometimes, but never actually went ahead with those plans. Your schedules never met up, as he had practice and you had a part time job. You grew wary, wondering if you would ever meet your online crush. It was then that you realized you had absolutely no idea of what Tendou even looked like, which meant you could've passed him on the street multiple times without noticing. You would constantly hope that one day he would stroll into the little cafe you worked at and notice you, but that was a far stretch, as he had no idea of what you looked like either. Today was no different. Each time a customer would waltz in, you had hoped that it was Tendou, but it never was. It was currently near closing time, and you had begun sweeping the place while a coworker cleaned the kitchen in the back. It wasn't until you were about to begin putting chairs up that you felt a vibration come from your phone. Taking it out, you look at your notifications and see you had gotten a text from Tendou, and you felt your heart skip a beat. Scanning the text, the happiness you had felt quickly melted into excitement and nervousness. 

"I found the place you work at, and I think I see you. Are you the one who's holding a broom?"

Rereading the text a few times to check if you weren't seeing things, you began to grow panicked. Today was an extremely stressful day, and you knew that you looked horrible. Your hair was a mess and you had even cried once due to an overly loud and rude man whose order was messed up, and you knew that the tear stains were still slightly visible. Quickly answering his text with a "come inside then :)" you continued to put chairs up in hopes to distract yourself from the nervousness and panic growing inside you with every passing second. Hearing the door open and the small bell above it chime, you freeze. "Um…are you possibly Y/N?" Turning around slowly, you're met with a tall boy with red hair and tired eyes. He reminded you of a lizard, and you thought he was really cute. Remembering that he had asked you a question, you answered. "Yes I am. Are you Tendou?" His eyes widen, and a smile grows on his face. "Aahhh, I finally get to meet you!" Realizing that he is indeed Tendou, a smile of your own grows on your face, and you couldn't stop yourself from engulfing him in a hug. The hug is cut short however, since you feel a searing pain from where Tendou had wrapped his arms around you. Pulling away, you look into his eyes, and does the same. Realization floods his eyes, and he looks as though he's about to cry. "Well shit, who knew you'd be my soulmate too." You immediately run back into his arms, shedding a few tears into his hoodie as he hugs you as if his life depended on it. 

"I guess stuff like this really does happen in real life."

ˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ

a/n: HOOOO this took me a while to write, had to start over 3 times 😔 neways, I hope you liked it!

[marimopeace]

You say that Shigure's love of Akito from that dream wasn't unfounded and out of nowhere but if that's the case why was he the only one to be affected by it in that way compared to the other boys? Even in chapter 111 he wishes he could have dreamed of Tohru, implying that that dream could've been about anyone and he would have fallen for them? I don't know, it doesn't really seem like he loves Akito for herself you know?

hi anon and thanks for the ask!

(idk if you happen to be the same anon who originally asked for my take on shigure but since you mentioned the manga i’ll assume you’re ok with spoilers!)

um so my attention span is terrible so i’m just going to break down your ask really fast, i see one direct question and two points.

1. why was shigure the only one to fall in love with akito compared to hatori and ayame?

2. the counterpoint that shigure said he wished he could have dreamed of tohru instead

3. the main point which is that shigure doesn’t seem to truly love akito

so as for the dream...

it wasn’t the dream itself that made shigure fall in love with akito. the dream itself was a sign that the emperor had reincarnated once more in the form of akito in her mother’s womb and at the time, the older sohmas (shigure, hatori, and ayame), were the only ones around to respond to the call. the dream they had reinforced their zodiac spirit’s promised loyalty to her and inspired the bond that originally existed between the animals and the emperor (or god, i’m just used to thinking of it as “emperor” since that’s the original mythology). this resonated with the young boys, and overwhelmed them to the point where they all cried (and we know that the same rush of emotions applies to all other sohmas upon seeing the emperor for the first time). 

shigure described those feelings as a sort of sweet affection. now we’ve all felt that sort of way at some point haven’t we? maybe not as poetically as shigure put it, but that sort of soothing fulfillment when you’re with someone you care about, whether that’s a friend who makes you endlessly laugh or someone you trust whenever you need to vent. the translation of this feeling differs depending on the individual and their circumstances.

that applies to how the dream affected the mabudachi trio too.

this trio of kids (they were like 6 years old?) all got hit with the same dose of longing and adoration, but it resounded with them differently. hatori and ayame saw that affection to be familial, and took on brotherly roles as akito grew up. adult hatori probably felt even stronger brotherly affection since he was the one to look after akito’s health and mental well-being in her older years alongside shigure--remember how he never really lashed out at akito for what happened with kana? it reminds me kind of the dynamic between a spoiled younger sibling and a weary older brother who doesn’t want to cause trouble, but i digress (i tend to tangent a lot, sorry!)

that’s just how the dream affected those two though, as we see in the series that different sohmas have different views of akito.

so for little shigure, he also thought those emotions were something beautiful, and as time passed, he felt something more, beyond the attachment that hatori and ayame felt. he ended up falling in love with akito, hard and true, and this went on for years--to the point where his oldest friends figured that he would do whatever he could to see his end goal happen (make akito his). 

and as for why the dream couldn’t have been about anyone...

i think the first part of the answer addresses this a bit too, but it wasn’t the dream that caused him to fall in love with akito. sorry if my other furuba ask didn’t make that clear--the dream was the catalyst for their relationship in general (as zodiac and emperor), but the emotions inspired from the dream are what motivated a young shigure to make akito “his”.

also i could be so off on this since i read the manga a while ago but i vaguely remember the chapter you mentioned and i interpreted shigure’s meaning differently? i thought him wishing that it was tohru he dreamed of instead was him saying “i wish it could have been a person like you” rather than tohru explicitly. that is, that he wishes he could have fallen for. i don’t think he literally meant “dreamed about”, but that someone like her had been in his dream in the first place. i think that in that moment shigure was taking a step back from his obsession and he was seeing his unpleasant dynamic for what it was and he was having a “hmmm what if i had fallen in love with a person who was kind and giving and could fill the hole in my warped heart because i’m the kind of person who needs that” moment. (notice i didn’t use the words unhealthy or toxic which are my go-to for the akito/shigure relationship--shigure has probably definitely realized over the years that his pattern of hate and manipulation with akito isn’t great but i highly doubt he would ever admit that they would be that bad for each other bc the man is obsessed)

tl;dr: rather than that scene implying that shigure could have dreamed about whoever and he would have fallen head-over-heels like he did with akito, i think the meaning of that interaction was to show a small hint of regret over where his life turned. it was a human moment for him, for the scheming manipulative dog to step back and ponder “what if”. it was also a way to show how tohru was changing the sohma’s views on themselves. shigure has always been accepting of the gritty road ahead, believing that a trash person like him (not my opinion i’m just saying he doesn’t think he’s good either) deserves a stained fate since he’s willing to do whatever underhanded thing to get what he wants. tohru’s kindness makes him wonder what it would be like to have someone as wholesome as that to soothe the darker parts of him.

i feel like i addressed your second point throughout this response but i fully understand where you were coming from. 

ultimately shigure does love akito fully, all her faults and flaws aside.

that DEFINITELY doesn’t mean this love is perfect though. 

// more thoughts under the fold but since i addressed all your immediate questions + if you want to be free from my godforsaken rambling then feel free to scroll past this post lol //

shigure’s love isn’t unfound. we the readers were given a clear backstory on what initially inspired his feelings and we are shown the extent of his love throughout the series as he embarks on his quest to destroy the curse in order to obtain akito.

your point that shigure doesn’t seem to love akito for herself is totally valid in my opinion and i agree because the way their relationship is portrayed in the manga makes it hard to see what he loves about akito other than her, if that makes sense.

we’re continually reminded that shigure loves akito an incredible amount. an obsessive amount. a toxic, overwhelming, and suffocating amount.

and good lord other than shigure saying that he loves akito (which he did say several times) i cannot name a logical reason for his love. and yes love isn’t logical but i’m referring to concrete points about her that make him want to smother her in his devotion so much. this is one of the things that i didn’t like about the manga in retrospect once i let the plot sit with me for a bit. i disagree with some opinions that shigure and akito were a forced couple because i feel like their story have a lot of potential (i have a huge soft spot for redemption character arcs) but their love just felt so flawed and twisted.

there are lots of lopsided relationships in shoujo manga in general but idk for me it was hard to take in all the emotional hits (kureno and ren oy vey) they flung at each other and then not see resolution. :/

i’m going to shut up since this is def beyond what you asked but basically shigure does love shigure for herself but only on the mangaka’s word/face value from what we are shown with him going “i love akito”. there wasn’t enough character development/plot reveal to reinforce his love for her. we can understand why he fell in love with her in the first place but we’re never given context besides that, the story just explains how they’ve been dancing around each other for years (not in an unrequited love way but in a hostile way).

*deep breath* oh god it felt good to write that out but if my long mess of thoughts confused you anon always feel free to send in another ask!

[discodyke-dogthing]

I will be pinching your nipples with my chopsticks as you desperately keep tapping for air just so you know

need a fat girl sitting on my face and eating sushi off my tummy/tits