#hjrambles

[hjeojeo]

LOL

If you click yer own tip button it gives you these messagss

[hjeojeo]

>:)

hello

ty for following me over on my commission art tumblr! this is actually my preferred site atm so im really happy!

this used to be like All my art up til 2021 ish and then i used it as a personal art space til like a month or two ago and now it's specifically a commission art tumblr

i'll probably post comm wips and stuff here. commission opening news i'll def post here and ofc the usual finished comm posts!

my primary account is @walrushit it means that if I reply to you or follow you etc, it'll show up via that username

--

oh also if yer new, here's a tumblr etiquette and history general field guide that user @kavaeric wrote: LINK

[hjeojeo]

:0 just some thoughts from watching users who never left Tumblr talk about Tumblr

Genuinely very interested about the difference of like tolerance for the corporate/algorithm stuff compared to like I guess my tolerance for it cause of spending last few years on.... twitter

At first I was thinking, why is there so much like bristleyness for the site even though like I think this is the only site now that doesn't shove algorithm at you (you can genuinely turn it off, like the "based on your likes" etc)

But then as I was reading more I realized just

How low my standards and tolerance has become for social media cause of Twitter like I guess it's like

Me a user used to 80% contaminated air going to a place that has like 20% contaminated air and confused why the people in this area is still so unhappy and realizing oh it's cause my tolerance should be technically at 0%

And that it's incredibly important to not let the bad stuff keep growing just cause yer used to worser stuff

But yeah :0 I just thought wow how fascinating!!

Like I have completely just absolutely lost touch with basic consent cause basically everywhere will use your information without your consent (well legally you consented I guess but .__. listen I don't really consider that true consent) and shove information and content that you literally never asked for nor followed someone for

[hjeojeo]

UmU man...

Well Im kinda glad I decided to use Tumblr again frequently cause

It makes me realize how little I draw for myself cause if I drew for myself

I would post it here but...//gestures at the nothing for past two weeks

Maybe I will make it a little goal to draw myself something at least once a week

Even if it's a small doodle

[hjeojeo]

Some thoughts :)

I was thinking about and noticing how much happier I feel when I look at people's art and think about like what kinda mood they're living through that's showing up in their stuff, think about what do they like so much that either that's the subject matter or there's hints of it everywhere in their work, just like

I guess the stuff that makes that person so different from me, but not just like comparison to me, but more. It's about Them. Just them.

I guess it feels more humanizing for me

And I guess this experience feels significant to me cause I spent so many years like looking at art more based on do I like it or do I hate it or does it make me annoyed.

And even when I liked something it never made me happy? Maybe deep inside I knew that it was kinda weird to think so like hmm..like so..consumer-like about someone else's personal expression and dedication and time.

Society and captialism makes it seem so normal to view everything like a consumer but

I feel like that's dehumanizing

Both to the original creator (who will hopefully not have to deal with that directly) but also to you/me/the viewer

But yeah something I'll probably keep rolling around in my head cause

It's important to me

[hjeojeo]

Wipes happy tear

Ppl leaving nice tags on yer art, real art fulfillment hours 🥲

[hjeojeo]

I love so much that on tumblr the thing is about like reblogging and passing stuff around and only that

It's not about it being recent posts , it can be from 2015, just reblog that baby

So many other social media's algorithms have like conditioned ppl to value like only recent and high frequency work but I love that it isn't the case here

That no one cares if it's from a year ago, ten years ago, ten minutes ago

If it's a good post, we're gonna enjoy it again and again

It's not about constantly hoarding like unique new different posts on yer blog, you can like keep reblogging yer fave story or meme or art or educational info dump again and again

And that's so much more humanizing than

Only the latest being valued, also no one can keep up with that pace of providing only the latest ugh

[hjeojeo]

I think today i got about 50% done of my usual work load

It's when I got to the animation comm that i started feeling a kinda headache and had to stop after a bit

But today my arm/hand didn't hurt from drawing! So i feel like the covid muscle fatigue/pain i was experiencing a lot yesterday is def going away

Im gonna try to keep an eye on the headaches since it might take me a bit before my brain's back to normal

Just gonna do my best to not get too impatient with recovery but dang

This is definitely making me appreciate more my capabilities from before i got covid. And if i make a complete recovery one day, I'll def try to appreciate it more in general

[hjeojeo]

Wheezes!!!!!

@waterfromleaves

I see you using the neo pronouns

And I am so grateful

[hjeojeo]

I see posts about how art is human nature but I think that it's more of a living nature

Cause animals clearly have sense of aesthetic and beauty and greatly enjoy it

And what else do I call that but also art

So I think art is just a living experience, like all organisms thrive in it, and I guess it's just part of living :') and I think that's nice

I also really hate stuff that separate humans from other animals cause that kinda specific ego drives me bonkers. Like I don't like when people think humans live on a higher sentience than other animals. If you observe animals you'll see just like how amazingly good they are at understanding each other's emotions, they're so empathetic. I think we live on a different sentience but not one so seperated nor superior.

//Also just cause I gotta say it for the gross people, I do not condone beastiality, get out of here and hope you trip down some stairs.

[hjeojeo]

;___;

Man several people so enthusiastically using and enjoying zhey pronouns for my Lappland makes me so happy

Zhey/zhem are neo pronouns that I've been thinking about for months, cause I want to use them one day. And I feel like one day soon I'll be ready to

As much as I love they/them pronouns, it doesn't quite like vibe with me in the way of wanting to depart from gender shit completely sometimes

Anyways

Thank you!!

And I think I feel so encouraged by it that for my Lappland I'm gonna make zheir main pronouns be zhey/zhem and sometimes zhey might feel like wanting to use "she" but I think it comes down to who for zhem.

[hjeojeo]

i...

i...i can’t believe how indenial i am about the dumb things i like. tfw when i tell myself oh yeah i love arknights cause it’s the tower defense gameplay and i like the character writing

WRONG IT’S THE DUMB ANIMAL ANIME EARS THAT IS SO DESIGN-WISE IMBALANCED NONSENSICAL AND DISJOINTED SDLKFLKSDKLSDF

my two ttrpg characters....

green one is from current campaign im playing

red one is from previous campaign i was playing from two years ago i think i can’t remember

stupid stupid cat girls //shakes them violently

i have basic bitch preferences

umu at the least i should stop lying to myself and just enjoy my basic bitch content uwu

[hjeojeo]

I was trying to find balloon monkey again

And first I found out

That's not the name of the game

It's Bloons the tower ??

Also...omg in my memory it looked better than this but

I was a teenager watching my younger sibling play this game...

So my memory of it was a lot better I guess

[hjeojeo]

:) wellp

I really love arknights

I just...I just think it's so funny how friends have been trying to get me to play it since it first came out by telling me it has cool characters that aren't overly sexualized and

They could have literally just told me it's balloon monkey and Gaia online put together (game play wise) and I WOUDLCE HOPPED ON THAT SO FAST

Like HELLO?? balloon monkey and Gaia online room decorating ??

I

I love it

Oh yeah also I like yato and hoshiguma a lot hope to one day have siege

Man I love balloon monkey

Oh yeah and I do def enjoy the lore and writing

[hjeojeo]

Hmmmmm

I feel like I'll just turn my art blog (this Tumblr) into a personal art and oc blog mostly :)

I...it's been so long since I just freely share my personal/oc art like this and it feels so nice.

I stopped sharing personal art like a year or so back on my public Twitter cause .__. man like something about the way the site is designed, it makes people think that they're entitled to every space. Meanwhile on Tumblr I guess cause of the really clear like visual difference of going from blog to blog, I guess people understand that no yer literally in someone else's house, have some respect. So it makes me really comfortable about sharing my stuff again : D

I've been posting personal stuff to a locked Twitter for so long ahahdj feels wild feeling comfortable with just sharing it publicly again.

I mean there was def important other mental hurtles for me to work on like learning to just accept that people will bring you their shit and you just liberally block don't engage, but that was like from my end, the exterior end that I can't affect is how a site is designed to be used. And Twitter def finds that promoting bullshit and discourse raises engagement like crazy which makes their site I guess commercially worth alot cause of the activity, so I feel like it's no coincidence that there's a special flavor of Twitter entitlement.

But yeah decided to just kinda keep things the way they were (only sharing my commission work on my main twitter), using deviantart as a commission archive, and just adding to my structure with sharing personal art on my Tumblr :)

Feels nice

[hjeojeo]

Chokeholds myself from saying stuff like

"oh I'll do this for you when I got time!"

Cause "when I got time" doesn't exist (I'm not sure if it's related to my ADHD thing since I can't detect passage of time ), so if I don't wanna schedule in something to definitely do it, don't make these up in the air comments

//starts shaking my cage bars

But then this also gets me thinking like

Oh but I'd love to schedule that in just to give a gift to a friend.

But then Im worrying like oh

But what if I use up all my energy and I can't make dinner..or do today's work...

.__.

Life is like min maxing yer limited-not-enough energy I guess