#historyman's musing

[historyman101]

Highlights from today in Northern Ireland, this time visiting the Antrim Coast. Pictures are the Carrick-a-reed bridge, the Giants Causeway, Dunluce Castle and Mussenden temple and home ruins.

Tomorrow I leave Belfast for Galway!

[historyman101]

Showcasing some of the major sights seen so far in Ireland. Pictures are the Book of Kells, the Trinity College Library, the St. George Market and the Titanic exhibit in Belfast.

Tomorrow taking a bus tour of Belfast along with a cab tour about the Troubles. Look forward to that!

[historyman101]

Sitting in my hotel room in Cork after a travel day and some time exploring the city. Primary attractions were the English Market where I bought some chocolate and tea blends (Irish Rum Cream) and Oliver Plunkett street, a pedestrian only boulevard. Fun fact: my hotel is the same hotel where Michael Collins, the famous Irish revolutionary leader (and subject of an excellent movie starring Liam Neeson) spent the last days of his life before his untimely death in 1922, exactly 100 years ago. His room is literally down the hall from mine. It’s mind blowing to think how close I am to history right now.

Totally not considering a historical novel set in the Irish revolution, no, not at all

Tomorrow I head to the Rock of Cashel and Cobh, Titanic’s last port of call. Look forward to it!

[historyman101]

This Tumblr blog is retired.

No, this is not clickbait. This is real.

And no, I’m not nuking this blog off the internet. But I will no longer be actively posting.

Read on below, if you care.

To get right to the point, this is a decision that I have thought about for at least a year now if not more. Several factors influenced this, but chief among them was how the site is little more than a ghost town. Whenever I post there is barely a peep or any kind of feedback. Not dissing the people who do give me likes and all that, it’s just the reality of the website now. 

Another major factor was...well...all the friends I made on this site are gone now. They’ve either left Tumblr, fallen off the radar, cut ties with me or have simply migrated to other platforms. The group of friends I had on here has whittled away and the ones I still do keep in touch with are now on Discord, essentially eliminating the need for me to talk to them through Tumblr.

In addition, Tumblr as a website has been on a very long and very slow downward trend really ever since the apocalypse happened in 2018. You know the one. The one that the devs finally reversed, almost three years after the fact when the site has lost most of its userbase. Nice job breaking it, staff. I had half a mind to leave right then and there but I stayed on because, well, I still had some attachment to it. I still do now, but it’s been hard to keep that up as the years go by. 

While I haven’t been posting as often, one thing that has continued are the angry messages and PMs from people picking a fight with me about drama in the Astral Army server and about Eureka 7 in general from five years ago. Yes, I know, you’re all sick of hearing about it. I’m sick of talking about it. Even when I have long stopped talking about E7 and I posted about something completely unrelated like my recent overseas vacation, there were still people trying to gaslight me. I really do wish people would just let that drama go and leave the past in the past. But I guess that’s just too much to ask of some people. I won’t name any names, but to those people all I have to say is this: Grow the fuck up. Get over it. The world has moved on and so have I.

While I’m on the subject, I might as well say this now. To the people who knew what was going on and stayed silent, it really would not have been hard to disavow or condemn what was happening. And no, I don’t mean a mealy-mouthed, anemic “people should just be nice to each other” kind of disavowal. I mean “what’s happening to Historyman is wrong and it shouldn’t be happening at all. People need to chill out, check themselves, and leave him alone.” That’s all you had to say. That’s all I ever asked. Was it really that difficult to do? 

If you try to come back to me on Discord with some weak explanation, spare me. I don’t want to hear it. You had plenty of chances to curb this and you did nothing. Your silence was deafening and now, I’d rather you stayed silent.

Ugh, okay, enough bitching and moaning. I want this last post to be pleasant.

I started this blog when I had finished college in 2012 when Eureka 7: AO was still airing. I was in the middle of rewriting my historical fanfiction series set in World War II which got me tons of attention and introduced me to many cool people. I still talk with a few of them to this very day, 10 years later. In the time I’ve been on here, so much has changed both in my life and in the world in general. I wrote not just one, but six books, including my historical series (still aiming to get those published by the way. I’m not giving up!). I lost my father to heart failure. I traveled to so many exotic and fascinating places. Germany, Russia, the Czech Republic, Austria, Hungary, Switzerland, Hawaii, and most recently, Ireland and Iceland. I earned my masters’ degree from one of the top graduate schools in America. I got a job in a field that I love and have dreamed of all my life. And now, come next year, I’ll be a homeowner. 

On Tumblr, I almost religiously followed developments with Eureka 7 and forged some tight bonds with fellow fans, some of which last to this day. I watched the fandom thrive despite AO’s failings, slowly disappear in the following years, and then rise like a phoenix for Hi-Evolution before it disappointed us all and splintered it possibly forever. I can still remember vividly the close friends I made in that community, all the talented artists I met and worked with to create fanart for the historical series, and the many nights spent in tinychats having fun. Ever since Hi-Evo came out and after my public divorce with the Astral Army, there is still a group of people who want to paint a picture that I caused this fandom to fall apart. That somehow, whether due to my own personal vendettas, my own aggressive nature, or something else entirely, the decline and fall is on my shoulders. Obviously, I reject those accusations in full, but I also have stopped trying to make my case because frankly, it’s too exhausting. If people want to think of me as this fandom’s devil or Judas Iscariot, fine. It’s not like I could do or say anything to change their minds anyway. All I will say about Eureka 7 is the following.

I still owe a lot in my life to that anime. I owe it my presence on Tumblr. I owe it my surviving friendships. I arguably owe it my writing career. While I can’t help but be sad about how the franchise has gone over the last 15 years and how it’s all ended, I am still deeply thankful and grateful to have watched it when I did. It will always be my favorite anime, the series that made me into an anime fan. I will forever be an Eureka 7 fan, even if the fandom no longer includes me. To my long-lost friends in this fandom, I hope that you continue to prosper and thrive, wherever you are. To those who call me their enemy, I’m sorry things turned out how they did. I’m sorry for all of it. But like Renton and Eureka, it’s time for me to leave the nest.  

While Eureka 7 is what I was most known for, I did delve into other anime as well. I wrote reviews for the latest hits like Violet Evergarden, Maquia: When the Flower Blooms, Demon Slayer: Mugen Train, and Fena: Pirate Princess. I even watched what is possibly the worst anime ever made, Ex-ARM. But as time has gone on, I find myself less inclined to keep up with modern anime and write reviews for the latest show. Maybe it’s because I’m older. Maybe it’s because I have a busier life than before. Maybe I’m just jaded from the constant and unceasing barrage of new anime that get buried half a season later by newer anime. Either way, nowadays I only rarely watch whatever anime comes out these days; it’s largely what catches my interest and if not that, then older titles. In fact, I’ve told my friends lately that enough anime has been made that you could watch just older titles and get more entertainment from them than any of the newer stuff released in the last 5 years.

Apart from anime, my writings occupied a lot of my time here. Like I said it’s what got me my start and my initial wave of attention. The Historical Eureka Seven series took me five years to do, starting in 2012 and finally concluding in 2017. I have been quietly editing the series for publication really ever since its conclusion and if I posted it now on FP or AO3, it would read extremely differently. As of this post, there is only one book left to edit. However, I have also been writing other stuff too: What Is It All For, a historical romance set in the Spanish Civil War; and Welcome to Wakeford, my first foray into horror. However, in the time since I became gainfully employed, the time available to write the long, expansive epics I used to write has greatly shrunk. I am now at a place where, while I still have a multi-volume novel series set in the Napoleonic era planned (and yes, I’m going to talk about that in a moment), I don’t have the time to write as I once did. In fact, recently I have struggled to get a short horror story done in time for Halloween. I will have to reschedule it for next Spooky Season. Smaller projects seem to be more manageable for me these days even when things get in my way like work, a vacation, and a really bad case of the flu.

To the Frev/Napoleonic Community: don’t think I have forgotten about you. I know full well that people still want to learn about what I’m doing regarding the Jozef Poniatowski Saga. The Polish Bayard’s time will come soon enough, but that’s the thing. Like I said before, my time to write is limited these days, as is my time to conduct research. I still have a day job that requires my full attention. Quite frankly, my situation with that has been nothing short of a whirlwind in the last six months. I had to relocate to the DC metro area and pretty much hit the ground running in my new position. Things can still get hectic at work even now. I’m not saying that to make an excuse or to issue false promises but merely to give you a sense of where my life is right now. I am still committed to sharing Poniatowski’s story as I think his is a tale well worth telling. But like everything else I’ve written in the past, it will take time. This is more than just another historical fiction for me: it’s ultimately a return to the multi-volume epic wartime romance story I used to write. That kind of project requires a massive commitment of time. When Pepi’s time will come, I cannot say for sure, but it will come. 

One thing I’ve learned in the time I’ve been on Tumblr in general is to be humble and self-critical. I always go back to my previous drafts and find something that I could have done or said better. There are things I firmly believed to be true only to be told point blank that it was absolutely false. And yes, you may not believe it, but there are things I have done and said in the past that I do regret. If I could take one thing back, it wouldn’t be one thing; it would be a million things. There are those who I’ve pushed away because I was either too blind to understand what was happening or just too stubborn to admit I was at fault. To those people, even though I most likely will never see or hear from you again, I am sorry, and I wish I could take it all back. My only hope is that your lives are happy and fulfilling.

I’ve also learned that to survive you need to roll with the punches and take life as it comes. Don’t let the distant, abstract things in life get you down. Whether that’s from a troll who won’t let go of the past, an anime franchise that’s decayed and fallen to ruin, a worldwide pandemic, or even just the fear of your own mortality, the best thing you can do is live your life one day at a time. There are always going to be disappointments, but there’s no sense in wallowing in that self-pity and misery. The best thing to do after falling down hard is to get right back up and keep walking. If your legs can still move, then use them.

Before I end this long goodbye, I want to clear some things up and let people know what’s happening. Like I said before, I’m not deleting this blog. I will keep it up if only out of posterity. There is a lot of history on here and I don’t want that to just be erased. In fact, there are still some people who interact with my posts even now. 

I will not be migrating to any new platform. I am not going to Twitter, aka the most cancerous cesspool on the internet. I will not stream on Twitch because the way they enforce their TOS makes me fear I would get shadowbanned right off the bat. I’m sticking to Discord because that’s where all my friends are, and it’s where I’m most comfortable. I will also keep up all the old stories I wrote on this blog as I know for a lot of people it’s really the only way to find them. I will NOT be updating this blog with new projects going forward. However, if any of my followers or friends in Discord want to post my work on their pages, they are more than welcome to do so; I only ask that you tag me in any posts you make. 

For anyone who still wants to keep up with what I do, writing or otherwise, Discord is the best place to find me. Even if you don’t want to join my server, you can hit me up privately. My username is same as here, and my number is #2503. Don’t be shy; I may not answer your PMs immediately, but I do read every message that is sent. I always welcome new friends to chat with. 

To be honest, this still feels kinda surreal. I still can’t believe I’ve been on this platform for 10 years. This feels like I’m closing the book on one big chapter in my life. But at the same time, closing one chapter means opening another one. Whether it’s an exciting pulse-pounder or boring filler remains to be seen, but all I do know is that I have to leave something behind to start that chapter. And this tumblr is it.

I will always have fond memories of this place, even in the bad times. I will cherish the friends I made here, remember the laughs I had, and keep all those memories close as I move onward. To all my followers, new and old, thank you for your continuous support and dedication. You have no idea how much that meant to me.

May the road rise to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May you get it by your hands. 

Don’t beg for things; do it yourself, or else you won’t get anything.

Until we meet again, drink on, old friend.

[historyman101]

Today I closed out my visit to Ireland with a tour I have long anticipated: a walking tour of the 1916 Easter Uprising.

It’s no exaggeration to say that this event is when modern Ireland was born. The Easter Rising lasted only five days and ended in failure, but it’s effects were far reaching. In fact, all the rebel leaders knew it would end in defeat, but they chose to do so anyway in the hopes of sending a message to both the British who put them down and to Irishmen nationwide.

Irishmen hold men like Padraig Pearse and James Connolly as we Americans view George Washington or Thomas Jefferson. Standing where the proclamation of an Irish Republic was read out is no different from standing in Independence Hall or on the fields of Gettysburg.

The story of the Easter Rising is one of heroism, tragedy, and patriotism. A story of a nation striking out for freedom. A story of men who laid down everything for a cause, a cause that would eventually be realized in the eventual independence of Ireland.

And it’s a story that I intend to tell in a future novel. ;)

With this, my time in Ireland comes to an end, but I won’t be coming home just yet. I’ll be making a stop in Iceland for one day to see all it has and finally returning home.

Pictured: Dublin Castle, Cork Hill gate, Four Courts seen from Gratton Bridge, and the General Post Office (GPO).

[historyman101]

Highlights from today. Visited the Aran Islands and the Cliffs of Moher before stopping at the Wild Atlantic Way. More of a touring day than anything and visiting more of Ireland’s natural beauty. Ireland really is a beautiful country.

[historyman101]

Short little follow up to my last post: I said that I had planned an overseas trip and that is true. I am currently writing from Dublin, Ireland, after arriving late yesterday in a long and uncomfortable plane ride. Today my game plan is to visit Belfast and see all Northern Ireland has to offer. Stops include Derry, the Harland and Wolff shipyards (where Titanic was built) and visit an old family temple on the coast.

My train leaves in about an hour, so I will have to cut this post short. Photos will be following soon!

[historyman101]

Not gonna lie, I’m kinda tempted to write a fix fic for Fena so we can get the actual fucking show we were promised.

[historyman101]

Writing Plans for 2022

As I said in a previous post, I have been finally released from the hell of 12-hour shifts. I was on this schedule for 6 months and, while it is not my first go-round at this, it is immensely stressful both mentally and physically. I scored some time off for the remainder of the week in compensation as I was just too exhausted to go right back into work. 

As promised, I wanted to delve a bit into what my plans are for writing now.

12-hour shifts aren’t the best environment to write much of anything and for the last six months the most I’ve done is help out some writing friends with their projects. Being out of practice for so long, I want to write something simple and shorter in length compared to my previous works. It’s a way for me to get back into the rhythm of writing. So, I’m announcing something a little different.

I’m heading back into fanfiction. This time, for Genshin Impact.

I’ve been playing the game for a while now (since last October) and I’m totally hooked. Love the world (especially Inazuma), love the gameplay, love all the characters. I can’t think of a better venue to enter back into writing. This year’s first story from me will be an AetherxAyaka fanfiction. I loved Ayaka’s story quest and she’s such a sweet character story-wise. I have yet to get Ayaka, but I’m determined to pull for her when her rerun banner comes out.

I won’t divulge too much in terms of details until I’ve made some progress, but the story will be shorter compared to my other works, probably only being 6-7 chapters maximum. Depending on how well and how fast I can work, I hope to have it out before the summer, but as I’ve learned, writing on a schedule is not a guarantee, so don’t hold me to that. 

Apart from the Genshin fic, I do plan to write another horror story this year as people seemed to like my last one (which you can read here, if you’re interested). I’m aiming to get that posted in time for Halloween, which is more than seven months away. It may end up being shorter than I anticipated if only to meet the deadline, but I am determined to put that one out. I had such a fun time with my last one that I can’t really just have that be the only horror story to my credit.

Finally, the project most people will be interested in. The Jozef Poniatowski Saga. No, I haven’t forgotten about it. It’s been sitting in the back of my mind for as long as I’ve been working those god-awful hours. I have been doing research and refining details in what little downtime I’ve had these past six months. I promise you all that it’s still on my to-do list, but that brings me to something else.

Earlier this year I managed to secure a transfer closer to my home outside Washington DC, and right now it looks like I will be back there sometime in the spring (either April or May). When I do transfer, I’ll likely be busy settling into my new work routine and learning the ins and outs of my new position. I have no way of anticipating how that will affect my work on the Poniatowski saga, but I want to write this when I feel I’m good and ready. That means it may take longer for me to get it out. Not saying with certainty it will happen, but be ready if it does. 

I WOULD apologize for this, but it’s important to remember that when you’re not motivated to work on a passion project, you shouldn’t do it until you are. Never forget that, future authors.

My project, my schedule, my terms. As much as I appreciate and love all the support given to me from the Napoleonic community, nothing will change that reality.

However, rest assured that when I DO start work, you guys will all be the first to know. And hey, hopefully these other projects will tide you over and give you some idea of who I am as a writer.

I’ll update this tumblr and the wordpress blog again when I have future updates.

Thanks again for everything.

[historyman101]

I’m finally off the awful 12-hour shifts. For good, this time.

I have earned five days off for my efforts. 

And now, I intend to catch up on sleep and finally get back into writing. Not for Poniatowski yet, though. I feel like I need to work on something smaller and easier to ease myself back in after being away from writing for so long.

Will update later with my future plans.

[historyman101]

Happy New Year!

Hope everyone is safe and sound this New Year’s Eve. Mom and I got back from a nice dinner at an Irish-themed restaurant and about to settle in for the last hours of 2021.

I’ll be honest: 2021 was not really the best year for me. My work schedule got changed to a much tougher 12-hour one and that meant I really couldn’t do a lot of the things I had hoped for. The horror story I planned never got off the ground, nor did I even make a dent in the Poniatowski saga besides one teaser showing the Battle of Eylau. Only My Lovely Catherine saved the year from being a dry spell for me in terms of writing. 

My plans for getting a transfer back to my home in Virginia didn’t come to fruition. The pandemic prevented me from making a trip overseas that I had been planning for years, and more than anything, I just feel homesick. I do have some hope that I’ll be able to go back home in 2022, but I just wish it could come faster.

Oh, and naturally the final Eureka 7 movie dropped, and based on the spoilers, it looks to be as horrendous as the last one, if not more so. At least the whole drama is FINALLY coming to an end. Expect me and my friends to make another podcast ripping this to pieces. In fact, we may even put it on Youtube. The world needs to see this. 

Yeah, I know I said I wouldn’t talk about it again after 2019, but frankly if the last two years tangling with trolls and harassers has taught me anything, it’s that I can’t win with them no matter what. I might as well just go balls to the wall anyway with no holds barred.

I just hope that 2022 is a better year all around. I want to write more of the Poniatowski saga. I want to go travel abroad again like I had in previous years. I want to be back home in Virginia and out of the Florida heat. More than anything, I just want to feel better than I have this past year.

Here’s to a better 12 months ahead and to a better 32nd year on earth!

[historyman101]

AU where Fena doesn't survive the attack from the British Navy and Rumble Rose in the first Episode?

(and literally someone else becomes the protagonist)

Personally, I think a better anime would have been following the Rumble Rose crew and just forgetting Fena altogether. Either that, or Fena joins the Rumble Rose instead.

If I got more of my French pirate waifu, that would be awesome.

[historyman101]

To anyone who has been messaging me and asking me what I think of the upcoming final Eureka 7 Hi-evolution movie: please don’t.

I don’t cover Eureka 7 anymore. I’m tired of even talking about it. I said my last word on it in that podcast in January of last year. I would like that to remain my last word.

There are multiple reasons for why.

I could tell where the franchise and fandom were going, and I just wanted off the train.

I felt like I had said everything I could about the subject. I don’t want to only be known as “the guy who yells about a dead anime.”

Not least of all, I got tired of the constant backlash and harassment whenever I covered the anime or the movies. Stuff like this:

And this:

And these (before I shut off anonymous asks permanently):

Dealing with all of that became exhausting. It was becoming a literal drain on my mental health and I couldn’t deal with the toxicity anymore. The harassment and hatred I received almost made me quit the internet entirely. I’ve done everything I can to distance myself from those people. Outside of maybe one or two friends that I’m still on good terms with, I don’t talk to anyone in the E7 community anymore. I haven’t for almost 5 years (in some cases, even longer).

I will love Eureka 7 until the day I die, but I just can’t go back into that mess anymore. It just unearths bad memories and brings me face to face with people I would rather not associate with.

PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT ME ABOUT EUREKA 7 ANYMORE.

I’m done. I need to let this go for the sake of my mental health, so please stop.

I closed that door almost two years ago, and I’d prefer to keep it closed.

[historyman101]

I don’t know how many active followers I still have on Tumblr, but for anyone who is still around and still pays attention to what I have to say and write, I finally have a Discord server.

More than anything this is a means for anyone who follows my tumblr that doesn’t have an account to contact and chat with me. Now that anonymous asks are permanently shut off, there aren’t many avenues (outside of submissions) to ask me non-troll questions.

I will occasionally do anime and game streams as well if enough people are interested. And you may even get a sneak peek at my new writing projects if you ask for them.

So, click the link, introduce yourselves, and come on in and join the fun!

[historyman101]

Mom surprised me on Christmas with a night in a hotel on the Tampa waterfront for New Year’s Eve. With just over three hours left in 2020, it’s a great way to close out what’s been a shitty year.

Expect an update and a blog post when the fireworks go off!

[historyman101]

Quick update on my horror story: As of yesterday, I am now one chapter away from finishing it. I plan to post the entire story on Halloween. The story will be 15 chapters long.

After that, I think I need another break.

I’ll be posting on my wordpress blog about some of my influences for this particular story, so be sure to keep an eye out for it.