#his wife was legit like ‘he didn’t tell us earlier because he doesn’t feel comfortable talking to us about it (school)’

[ringneckedpheasant]

my opinion of my roommate just gets worse & worse the older his kids get

[smol-and-grumpy]

Light My Fire - CH02

Pairing: CEO!Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: She always thought her boss was an ill-tempered man, but when he presents her with a proposition she can’t quite deny, she gets to know him better. It’s not bad, right? Because all she has to do is being fake married to him for six months, sounds do-able, right? Right.

Warnings: Slow build, a pinch of angst, doubts, a little fluff too, maybe?

WC: 2975

Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your feedback.

Beta’d by @deanwanddamons​ <3

SERIES MATSTERLIST

There’s a knock at the door in the afternoon and she opens up to Gabriel, Dean’s personal driver and handyman. She has known him for a while now, having started at the company almost at the exact same time. Gabe’s secretive — probably why Dean hired him in the first place — and he’s really easy to talk to. 

“Boss said I should move your things to his apartment.” Gabe says and steps in. 

“What else has he told you?” She closes the door and follows Gabe over to where her suitcases are. 

“Nothing much. You’re married or something. But I signed a NDA, so, no worries,” He shrugs like it’s no fucking deal, which makes her wonder what else he knows. She wonders what else Gabe witnessed while driving around for Dean.

“Is that all?” He asks and points his finger at her two packed suitcases.

“Yeah, I travel light.” She smiles, feels a little embarrassed actually. But that’s how it is. Everything she owns fits into two lousy suitcases. It’s actually quite sad when she thinks about it. 

“Damn, you could have taken the subway with them suitcases. There’s no need for me,” Gabe says it with an amused tone to his voice. 

 *

 Gabe drives into the parking garage of the building Dean lives in. He tells her to call the elevator and take the one far left because that one will go to the top floor without making unnecessary stops. He then takes out her luggage and follows her. 

As they are standing in the elevator, the stupid music starts to play and she hates that. Hates lame elevator music, because it makes everything so much more awkward. Dean even has his own elevator. It’s a little ridiculous when you think about it. 

They arrive and Gabe shows her the way, which is probably not really hard because there’s only one door that looks like an apartment door. All the other doors had  signs on them that say Keep out! or Private!

Gabe rings the bell and she waits behind him. She can’t lie, she’s a little scared. Like, he’s her boss and he’s so damn grumpy all the time and she’s afraid that he’s going to fire her even in his own home. 

Dean opens the door, his hair’s ruffled, his jacket and tie are off, the top two buttons of his shirt are loose, and his sleeves are rolled up. The shirt has those crinkles on them as if he just took a nap. Maybe he did? He was complaining about a headache earlier. 

“Hey,” He says and opens the door wider, for Gabe and her to step through, “Thanks Gabe, that’ll be all.”

“Right,” Gabe nods, “I’ll be in the car ready to leave when you are.”

Dean gives Gabe a courtesy nod before he closes the door behind him. He then turns to her. It's really awkward. She wonders if she’s made a mistake in agreeing to be his fake wife. 

He has both his hands in his pockets when he looks at her and asks, “You okay?”

“Yeah,” She manages to give him a weak smile. She can’t tell him that she’s in fact, not really okay of course, that she’s in fact, nervous as hell. 

“Come on, follow me,” Dean starts to walk through the penthouse and she needs to speed up to be able to keep up with him. His legs are incredibly long and hers are not, “I’ll show you around.” 

They walk into a big open space. There’s a black sofa in one corner. It faces a ridiculously big screen tv. There are also two big comforter chairs which she frowns a little at. It’s not that they don’t look nice, they just don’t really fit into the setting. 

Dean senses her confusion, “I bought them for when Sam’s over. Watch,” He grins and walks over, sits in one and reclined himself. When he settles, he pushes a button and there's a buzzing sound, “It massages your back,” He says, a smile on his face that’s brighter than the sun. She couldn’t not laugh at that. 

“Right,” Dean says then, “Gotta get out before I let myself be sucked into it. It’s hard to get out once you relax too much.” 

She can imagine and actually, she can’t wait to get in there herself.

He continues to walk ahead and they get into a kitchen area. The fridge is more than twice as big as the one she has at home and it’s stocked up, too. Either he went to the store before or he has someone to do it for him. She thinks it must be the latter. She just can’t imagine him walking through the aisle wheeling a cart in front of him.

After the kitchen, he walks along a hallway and points to the rooms. 

“That’s my study, I don’t use it that much but there’s a computer and printer. If you need something, you can use it.”

The door next to the office is the guest bathroom. It’s bigger than the living room of her apartment. 

They walk further along the hallway and come to stop at two doors on either side of the narrow hallway.

Dean opens up the door to her right, “That’s your bedroom,” They walk in and it’s spacious as hell. She thinks it’s even bigger than her whole apartment. Everything is kept in a warm mix of white and beige, “And that’s your bathroom.” He walks through to the en-suite and she can see that the tub is huge. 

He looks at her, sees her mouth standing agape and has to grin.

“What?” She asks, feeling a little flushed knowing that he’s been watching her. 

Pressing his lips into a tight line, he grins a little. There are teeny tiny dimples showing, “There’s a gym on the first floor of the building, you’re free to use it if you want.”

“Okay,” She follows him out again and wonders what is behind the door that he hasn’t mentioned, “And what’s there?”

“That’s my bedroom.” He says simply, and he’s already rushing back into the living area, and fuck why are his legs so damn long. She is glad that they’re bowed, he would probably be even faster if they were straight.

“Dean, slow down, I’m not that fast,” She has to call out because he’s already at the door to the balcony. 

He laughs, “Sorry, I’m just so used to walking around with Sam and he never has a problem keeping up with me. I’ll try to go slower, okay?” He waits until she reaches him.

“That'd be great, thanks.”

“Come on, you need to see this,” There’s a boyish smile decorating his face. It’s nothing like the grumpy Dean she knows as her boss. He’s genuinely content, and it shows. 

He opens up the door to the balcony and holy shit, it’s not a balcony. It’s a freaking terrace. There’s a hot tub on the far left side, overlooking the city.

“Nice, isn’t it?” 

“Yeah,” She agrees, “It really is. How often do you get to enjoy it, though?” It’s a legit question because she knows how much he works. 

“Maybe I’ll get to enjoy it more now that you’re here.” His voice is a little soft when he says it. Before she can even ask what he means by that, he clears his throat, “Right, I really need to go back to the office now. Will you be okay? I’ll try not to stay too late, alright?” 

“Sure,”

“Make yourself at home. It’s yours now, too.” He’s about to turn around but then he stops, “Really missed you in the office this morning. Ruby doesn’t know how I drink my coffee.”

“It’s not hard? You drink it black.”

“Yeah, but hers is different.”

She doesn’t really know if he’s shitting her. Dean’s so hard to read sometimes. 

“Dean, the coffee is the same!”

“Fine,” He rolls his eyes, “But anyway, just so you know. You’re missed in the office. Not just because of the coffee.”

“Now you’re just kissing my ass.”

Dean snorts out a laugh before he turns around and picks up his tie and jacket. He walks to the door, turns around again, “Call me when you need anything!”

She can’t even say okay because she can already see  that the door closed. 

*

Two suitcases are easy to unpack. Half of her new closet is still empty. She didn’t even need more than an hour. 

Walking out into the living room, she sees the comforter and decides to spoil her body with a massage. 

She sits in, reclines herself and pushes the same button Dean did before, and immediately a buzzing sound fills her ears as her back starts to vibrate. She lets out a squeal at first but soon starts to relax and it does feel really good. She closes her eyes and almost drifts off when she feels another kind of vibration in the back pocket of her pants. 

Taking out her phone she looks at her screen.

Dean.

 D: What are you up to? Find everything alright?

 Y/N frowns. Because she sees the time and knows for a fact that he’s in a meeting right now because she organized that meeting.

 Y/N: Aren’t you in a meeting?

D: Yeah, but I’m bored.

 She doesn’t even know that he’s a texter. Every time she saw him with his phone in his hand, he talked to someone. He never just has his phone in his hand and fucking texts.

 Y/N: If you’re really interested, I’m sitting in the comforter and I’m enjoying a massage.

D: Jealous.

Y/N: Was thinking about taking a bath in the hot tub. I’m allowed to use it, right?

D: You are. But I would wait til the evening. The view is nicer then.

Y/N: Okay.

 But he’ll be here in the evening and he’ll see her in the tub. Ugh. 

 D: Right, just wanted to see if you’re okay. Since you are, I’m gonna go back to listening to whatever Donatello has to tell me. See you later, Y/N.

Y/N: TTYL

D: TTYL?

Y/N: Talk to you later

D: Oh, TTYL

 She snorts out a laugh, thinks that texting-Dean is kind of adorable.

 *

 After a relaxing massage, she decides to take a shower. Mainly because she still hasn’t showered after she poured coffee all over herself this morning. 

The shower’s huge too, the water pressure is excellent. The nozzles (and boy are there many of them), hit her sore spots just right.

She dresses herself back in some jeans and shirt. Normally if she’s at her home, she’d walk around in only a shirt but she’s practically a guest around here — even if Dean insists that it’s her home, she doesn’t trust it yet — and she doesn’t really know how her boss would react seeing her walking around in his apartment in only her underwear and a shirt. 

Taking her book that she didn’t get to finish this morning out into the living room, she grabs a cup of coffee before she makes herself comfortable and cozies herself up on the couch to finish her book. 

Just when she reaches the second to last page, Dean walks in, his tie already loose around his neck, “Honey, I’m home!” He smiles when he sees her staring at him, “I always wanted to say that once in my life.”

“You’re early,” She says, pushes at the button of her phone to realize that it’s almost 6pm. Normally he’s still at the office. 

Dean switches on the light for her and she doesn't even realize that it starts to get dark out. 

“Yeah, I still have a headache. It’s been like that since I woke up after the night I married Amara. Didn’t feel like working longer and leave you alone either.” He comes to sit next to her and she catches the smell of his cologne mixed with his musk. He smells delicious even after a long day and that’s not really fair. 

“Should I go get some painkillers? You just have to tell me where they are kept.”

“Nah,” He sighs, “I’ll just take them before I go to sleep. What are you up to?” He asks her, and she sees that he’s eyeing up her book that she’s still clutching in her hands. 

Her face starts to flare up. 

“Just reading a book.” She says it in an easy way, tries to sound nonchalant about it but she knows that she fails.

Dean catches the cover before she could hide it and he starts to grin, “You sap.” He stands up again when he sees that she starts to feel uncomfortable if they didn’t  change the subject soon.

“What do you want to eat? Does Pizza sound alright? I’m not in the mood to cook tonight.”

That’s when it dawns on her that she’s playing his fake wife and maybe she should have cooked him something for dinner? Because that’s what wives do right? She doesn’t fucking know because she hasn’t even been in a relationship long enough to cook anything for anyone. Except that she sometimes used to cook for Jack. Oh my god, Jack! She still has to tell him what happened! 

She gets up from the couch, abandons her book and walks to Dean who’s already in the kitchen leafing through take-out leaflets, “I’m sorry, I should have cooked you something,”

He stops in his tracks to look at her, one eyebrow raised, “What?”

“Yeah, I’m supposed to be your fake wife and I’m supposed to cook you something.”

Dean sighs, “Y/N, really. That’s not why I fake married you. You don’t have to do anything in fact. It’s okay alright? I’m a big guy and  if I want something cooked, I can do it myself.”

“Okay,” She says, still feels a little guilty about it, though. And Dean seems to sense it because he drops the leaflets and walks over to her, places his hand on the back of her neck and she catches the whiff of his cologne. It makes all the hair on her body stand up and she gets light headed. 

He lowers himself a little, looks her in the eye, “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, you understand? Hey, look at me.”

She does, looks straight into his green eyes. Dean Winchester has freckles. She never noticed them before, was always distracted by the green of his eyes. 

There’s a moment of silence, and she doesn’t know if he feels it too. Feels a magnetic force that pulls her towards him.

“Are we good?” He leans in closer and she can feel his hot breath.

“Yeah,” She nods.

“Good,” He says, but doesn’t quite move away yet, if anything he moves even closer. He’s closer to her than he’s ever been, “Because I want you to feel comfortable around me, okay? I’m really not your boss when we’re together. I want you to be yourself, can you do that?”

“Sure,” 

Dean smiles, showing his white fangs. Her heart races a little more. She would love to feel the teeth on her skin.

Y/N, what’s wrong with you?

He lingers a little longer, his hand still firm on the back of her neck and she feels like he’s staring into her soul. He licks his lips before he speaks, “Are you hungry?”

“Not really,” 

She’s really not, at least not yet. She’s too confused to eat. Confused about the fact that she feels that she’s attracted to her own fucking boss. Someone who she’s faked married to!

“Right, how about you take that bath in the hot tube that you talked about? I’ll go take a shower and we’ll order later, huh?”

She looks out of the window and grins, because the sun’s going down and the view’s really is fabulous, “Sounds good to me.”

 *

 She slips into her room to change into a bathing suit. She doesn’t really have anything fancy, only a simple black bikini but she’s not really here to impress him, is she? She’s not really here to do more than being his fake wife, right? Right.

When she walks out to the terrace, Dean must already be in his room because she can’t see him but she did find the tub heating up and bubbling away. There’s a bottle of wine and glasses on the table next to the tub. She smiles when she thinks that he prepared it for her. She wouldn’t have guessed that he would do things like this. At least not boss Dean that she knows.

She steps into the tub and lets herself sink lower. Closing her eyes, she embraces the feel of floating outdoors.

“You didn’t pour yourself wine?” Dean’s voice suddenly jerks her back to reality. 

Y/N opens her eyes to see Dean standing there, wearing a simple shirt and sweatpants. His hair’s still damp from the shower. She’s astounded, he looks completely different. Still good, but different. More casual, more relaxed. 

“I was too excited to get in,” She smiles at him.

Dean mirrors her smile before he pours the wine for her, “You must have wine in there in order to get the full experience.” He walks over to hand it to her. 

“Thanks,” She says, and thinks whether she should ask if he wants to join her? What’s the proper hot tub etiquette? “You want to come in?”

He chuckles, “Nah, maybe some other time, I’m enjoying the view from here.” He pours himself some wine and sits down, stretching himself before his face settles into a smirk. 

She thinks it’s weird that he said he wants to enjoy the view but he’s sitting facing her. 

CH03

[sakuwriteshere]

Pretty Little Liar: Chapter 7 - FIN

General warnings (for the whole story): Fluff, comedy, angst, sexual innuedos, roommates AU, Ketch is a douche

Beta reader: Rosaline 💖 I can’t thank you enough for your help and great ideas!!

Words count: 5633 words

PLL Masterlist

Main Masterlist

A/N: So this is it! The final chapter! I’m so sad to have to let this story go, it was fun working on it. I want to thank all of you who liked, commented and/or rebbloged this series. It means the WORLD to me, trully. And a very special thank you to Rosaline, who did a wonderful job as a beta. Thank you so much for your help and the very interesting remarks and advice. <3

Well... I hope you’ll enjoy this last chapter ;3 Thanks for keeping with it until the end! <3 <3 <3

Chapter 7:

The kind of tone Mary’s using suddenly surprises and worries Dean. Mary is a lovely mother, a very kind and understanding person but she can be very scary when she’s angry and Dean had heard that disappointed voice a few times in his life and it was never a good thing. The fact that John is strangely silent isn’t helping Dean to feel better as well. Just like he had feared, telling his family the truth doesn’t make things right, on the contrary, he knows he has disappointed them. Is he going to lose his family just like he had lost Y/N? Dean doesn’t think he can live with that though. Fortunately, Sam coming back into the living room with Mary’s purse is putting an end to Dean’s own torment. As the white and grey purse comes into his range vision, Dean chances a look at his little brother who has his lips pursed firmly.

With the purse resting securely on her lap, Mary opens it, taking out a few bills and parts what she had in her hand in two. She gives one part to Sam and the other one to John as Dean watches the strange scene occurring in front of his eyes without understanding anything. A chuckle finally breaks the tense silence and John stands up, cheering loudly before high fiving Sam.

“John, your son is hurting.” Mary reminds him, rolling her eyes at her husband's childish behavior. 

“Yeah, hm, sorry son.” John calms down but can’t help and pumps his fist as a victory sign.

“What’s going on?” Dean asks, completely lost and a bit embarrassed.

“We knew you were lying from the beginning so Mom, Dad and I bet on when you were going to tell us the truth or not. Mom thought you were going to get out of it easily while dad and I thought you wouldn’t.” Sam explains, counting the few bills in his hands before putting it in his pants back pocket.

“Wait a second. You knew?” Dean repeats, completely baffled. “So since the beginning you knew and you watched me stupidly trying to make it work for nothing?” 

Mary raises her hand, motioning for Dean to not start a tantrum. “You’re the one who started it, Dean.” She reminds him in an authoritative motherly tone. “Be thankful that making fun of you is the only result you get.”

Dean shuts his mouth right away, he knows his mother is right but can’t help feeling angry and stupid. “How did you know?”

Mary smiles softly and looks at Dean knowingly. “You’re my son, sweety and a very bad liar.” She fumbles with Dean’s hair jokingly, the latter swatting her hand away weakly. “I have to admit that I had my doubts when you told me you proposed to her. For a second I thought you two were legit.”

Dean hides his face in his hands, groaning lowly as he remembers that particular night. If only he knew his parents suspected something he would have told them the truth right away and maybe he wouldn’t be in this mess right now.

“I don’t get why Y/N is so upset.” John thinks out loud. “She accepted to play a part in your little scheme at first and now, if I understand what you told us, she’s angry at you for lying. Isn’t she overreacting a bit?”

“That’s because she cares,” Jess explains, surprising the three men at the same time. “Mary, Y/N told you she loved Dean when you met her at the coffee shop, right?”

Mary nods, confirming Jessica’s explanations. “She did.”

“If she loved me, why didn't she say it so when I admitted my feelings earlier?” 

“Would you believe a liar?” Jessica asks Dean, her question completely genuine and void of any reproach.

“I’m not a liar,” Dean grumbles, hating this more and more.

“Right. The last time Dean lied to us, Sam wasn’t even born, but, Y/N doesn’t know that” Mary ponders.

Dean gives his mother a sad look and after taking a deep breath, stands on his feet. “Well, it doesn’t matter anymore. Everything is over.”

The Winchesters family members watch the oldest son sadly, it’s pretty evident to see how down Dean is. Not liking the overbearing attention, Dean excuses himself, opting for hiding in his bedroom.

“You really love her, don’t you?” John asks his son, feeling a bit out of his comfort zone.

Dean stops between the doorframe of his bedroom and doesn’t even look back at his family. “As I said, it doesn’t matter anymore.” That being said, Dean closes the door behind him, leaving his family to do whatever they want in his living room.

The Winchesters watch the closed-door helplessly. It is very rare for Dean to forfeit, the man is well known for being stubborn and getting what he wants, so seeing him giving up so easily is a sign that all these lies have affected him a lot.

“I think it’s about time that I have a little talk with Y/N.” Mary announces, John giving his wife a warning look and silently telling her to stay out of their son’s love problems. “Don’t look at me like that. My baby is hurting and those two idiots clearly love each other, they just need someone to give them a little push.”

“What are you going to tell her?” Sam asks his mother, knowing how stubborn she can be when she has decided something.

“What Y/N wants,” Mary states, a powerful glint of determination in her eyes. “The truth.”

***

Her argument with Dean the day before is still swirling inside her head. While she had hoped that giving back that stupid tee-shirt would end the whole story, it has, in fact, made it more complicated. Now, because of Dean, Y/N is even less confident about her choices than before. Is it really a simple fake crush? Does he really love her? Is she making a mistake by trying to forget Dean with Ketch? Y/N is not expecting to live a wonderful love story with Ketch, on the contrary, that’s because she knows there’s nothing to expect from him that she’s trying. It’s safer that way. Not caring means you won’t get hurt in the end. 

The line on the other side of the counter is getting bigger and bigger and Y/N tries to work as fast as possible. Charlie had to leave earlier because her girlfriend, Dorothy, had a (fortunately) minor motorbike accident and went to the hospital. At first Charlie didn’t want to leave Y/N on her own but she was visibly distress and wasn’t helping Y/N a bit, her anxious attitude made it harder for Y/N to work, so after Y/N had assured Charlie that she would be fine, the redhead finally agreed to leave. And that’s exactly the moment people suddenly decided to buy some coffee. Now Y/N is facing a very long queue that keeps on growing. At least working means she doesn’t have to think about her problems.

“Hello, I’m sorry for the wait. What can I serve you today?” Y/N asks without looking at the next customer as she's already busy filling the coffee machine with coffee beans.

“I can’t decide,” The woman customer announces and Y/N stops what she’s doing as she recognizes Mary’s voice. “There’s so many choices, it’s hard to choose.”

“Mrs. Winchester.” Y/N turns around and pronounces Mary’s name in a whisper.

“So we’re back to family names?” Mary smiles sadly.

Y/N lowers her gaze, feeling uncomfortable with Mary’s presence. She’s scared that the Winchester mother will make a big fuss in the shop and Y/N is really not ready to face such a problem. There are fewer people in the shop now but there’s still a few of them and Y/N doesn’t know how she’s going to cope with it.

“Just take other customers’ orders first, I’ll still check the menu. Don’t worry, take your time, I’m not in a rush.” Mary reassures gently and steps on the side, giving room to the next customer. Despite all Mary’s efforts, Y/N is still not at ease and becomes particularly quiet as she serves the remaining customers.

Thirty minutes later, the queue is finally gone and only a few customers are sitting in the coffee shop, enjoying their treats. At some point, Mary took a seat in a secluded corner of the shop as she waited for Y/N to be free. Y/N took a deep breath, preparing herself to face Mary and once she felt that she can’t be more ready than what she was, she headed for Mary’s table.

“Have you made your choice yet?” Y/N asks, trying to control the waves of nervousness in her voice.

Mary lowers the menu and tilts her head on the side, giving Y/N another gentle smile. “I don’t know, did you?”

Y/N’s fingers tightened around her pen and pad of notes. She perfectly understands what Mary is hinting at and she knows she’s not ready to talk about that topic, particularly with Mary, so instead, Y/N chooses to feign she doesn’t get Mary’s point.

“I can recommend you our new chaï tea with a cinnamon roll, the tastes are mixing wonderfully and some of our regulars even told us it tastes like heaven.”

Mary nods her head and hands back the menu. “I’ll take that then.” She follows Y/N’s lead, not wanting to frighten the poor girl more than she already is but can’t help and adds a second order before Y/N has time to leave. “And make it two. I think you deserve a break.”

With that being said, Y/N knows there’s no escape anymore. Mary’s determined to have a talk with her whatever it takes. Until the very last second, Y/N prayed for a new customer to come in but as she finally sits on the opposite chair from Mary, she knows the talk is inevitable anymore.

“So how have you been?” Casual talk, Y/N thinks as she watches Mary pouring some sugar in her tea.

“I’ve been good.” Y/N answers, picking at her cinnamon roll and avoiding Mary’s eyes.

Even if Mary doesn’t believe her she doesn’t show it and keeps on a neutral face. “I’ve heard you’re staying at a friend’s place. It must hurt sleeping on a couch.”

“The couch is comfy enough.” 

“But after a moment you’ll get uncomfortable,” Mary argues. 

“It’s just temporary,” Y/N counters right away.

“Is it really?”

The two women are now staring at each other. Y/N’s body is tense and on the defensive while Mary is relaxed.

“Y/N, relax please. I’m not your enemy here.”

“Mrs. Winchester-” Y/N starts but Mary cuts her short, asking of her to keep on calling her Mary instead. “Mary, why are you here?”

“I just want to help you and Dean. You’re both hurting and I don’t like seeing you like this.” Mary says genuinely and tries to hold Y/N’s hand while saying so but the young woman quickly pulls back her hands from the table and rests them on her lap instead.

“There’s nothing you can help for. De-Dean and I...it’s over.” Y/N says, keeping with the lie. 

“How is something that never existed can be already over?” Mary asks her, surprising Y/N in the process. Seeing that Y/N is stunned by the sudden revelation, Mary knows it is better to tell her everything.

“Before you ask, yes I know the truth.” Mary starts her explanation and stops to take a sip from her tea. “Dean recently told me the truth but honestly, I knew from the beginning. Am I angry at him for lying to me? Not at all, I actually feel responsible. If my son felt the need to pretend he was dating someone to please me, then it means that I have somewhat said or done something to pressure him into lying, which means that I failed at being a caring mom.”

Y/N is at a loss for words. She doesn’t know what fact is the most important. The one about Mary and the whole Winchester family knowing Dean and Y/N little plan from the beginning and being played, or Mary’s vision about the whole thing and her responsibility in all of this. No wonder that Dean wanted to please his mother, she’s truly a wonderful person and very caring. She’s indeed someone you don’t want to disappoint.

Feeling that Y/N isn’t going to reply soon, Mary keeps on pressing. “What I want to know is now that this thing has been cleared, what other excuse will you find for running away?”

Y/N’s mouth opens but no sound comes out and she just looks like a fish out of the water. If she thought that she was lost before, then she just entered a new level of uncertainty.

“Y/N,” Mary joins her hands on top of the table and leans on, speaking softly. “I’m not here to push you into my son’s arms if that’s not what you want.” She reassures the young woman once again. “But I’ve seen you and Dean then and now. I know you feel something for him and believe me, he does too. I’ve never seen him in such a state. I understand it’s hard for you to trust him after what both of you did but as a piece of friendly advice: stop lying to yourself.”

A tear slips down Y/N’s face and she doesn’t know why she’s crying in the first place. Is it from relief or because she’s scared? Naturally, Mary brings her hand closer to Y/N’s face, brushing the tear away with her thumb.

“Y/N, sweety, I became fond of you. You’re a nice person and even if I don’t know you very well, I couldn’t hope for a better person for my eldest son. Whatever you decide you can count me as a friend, alright?” That being said, Mary stands up, knowing she has told Y/N what she wanted, now the ball is in her camp.

“Take all the time you need, sweety.” Mary said in a loving tone. “But let me be a selfish mother for a second please; don’t wait too long. I don’t think Dean can bear it anymore and neither do you.”

When she woke up this morning, Y/N didn’t know it would be such a horrible day. Never did she think that she would feel so lost and if she knew it, she would still be curled into Charlie’s couch. However she can’t lie to herself anymore. Mary is right. For fuck sake even Charlie and Dean told her so, she just wouldn’t listen to them. She’s scared as hell. Scared of living something great one second before it slips through her fingers the next second but by running away isn’t she letting something great slipping away as well? What is worse? Losing something great or living with regrets and days full of ‘if’? 

In that right moment, Y/N knew what she wanted. She can’t live with regrets. Maybe it’s already too late and everything is broken, but she’ll reach the end of this story and live it to its fullest, without any more ‘what if’. She’s going to go to Dean’s apartment and make things clear between them. She’ll try to give him her side of the story and explain why she acted that way and Dean will be the one to decide. She has to give them a chance at least. She never did until now but it’s time for her to stop pretending. She loves Dean. She loves every fucking second she had spent with him since that weekend at the Winchesters. So what if she loses it? Every second is worth it. She never gave them a chance before but things are going to change. Right now.

Well, maybe not right, right now. She’s still responsible for the shop since Charlie left and she has to stay until the closing time. Her sudden confidence is slowly leaving her and she needs to keep herself busy so she won’t think about it anymore and change her mind again.

***

She couldn’t run fast enough, as soon as she had closed the room from the coffee shop, Y/N rushed towards Dean’s apartment and only stopped, breathless once she’s standing in front of the door. She doesn’t even wait for her breath to slow down and knocks frantically. It never occurred to her that maybe Dean isn’t at home. What if he’s not there? Maybe he had already forgotten about her and went to one of his previous conquests’ arms? They are way more beautiful than Y/N after all. Why would Dean bother with someone like her? She’s stupid for thinking that maybe she had a chance with him. He’s way out of her league. Maybe the reason she ran away is because she secretly knows she’s not worth it? Maybe, maybe, maybe…

The door opens suddenly, revealing one flushed Dean, drenched from head to toe.

“Y-Y/N?”

“Hi, um, is it a wrong time?” She asks, noticing Dean’s state.

“No, of course not. Never.” He quickly answers her before a huge noise disturbs them. The sound of something heavy falling, followed by glass crashing makes them jump. “Argh, damn it!”

Without wasting another second, Dean rushes into the kitchen, leaving the door wide open for Y/N to enter. The young woman steps inside carefully, wondering what all the fuss is about and closes the door behind her.

“Dean?” She calls from the doorstep, not daring to enter more than what she has already. “I can come another day if you’re busy right now.”

“No, no, it’s fine! Ah, damn it! Stop! You stay right here! No!” Dean yells from the kitchen, heavy footsteps resonating and Y/N doesn’t know if he’s talking to her or not.

When a thudding noise makes her jump, Y/N has no other choice than to check for herself if Dean’s alright. She doesn’t know what she expects to see once she’s inside the kitchen but she definitely isn’t expecting such a scene. Dean’s laying on his stomach, crawling under the kitchen table, leaving a wet mess behind him.

“Dean?” Y/N tilts her head on the side, wondering if her roommate has lost his mind.

“Stop moving you, son of a-” The man struggles under the table and hits the top of his head as he jumps back suddenly. “Biting? How dare you!”

Before Y/N has time to ask him what’s going on she hears tiny barkings and even a low growl. Slowly she sits on her knees and takes a look under the table. The first thing she sees is Dean sitting underneath and rubbing some sensible spot on the top of his head. The next thing is a ball of black fur, curled up against the wall and as far as possible from Dean.

“Oh? What do we have here?” She asks in a soft voice, crawling a bit closer to take a better look.

“Be careful, that thing is wild,” Dean warns her, crawling out from under the table.

“I think it’s mostly scared. Where did you find it?” She asks again, holding out her hand for the little puppy to sniff it. It takes some time for the scared animal to trust her enough but after a few minutes of comfortable silence, the little puppy finally approaches her with careful steps. Y/N can’t help herself and smile when she feels the cold, wet nose against her palm. Gently, she tries to pet the top of its head and she’s delighted when she sees that the little dog doesn’t run away.

“I found it on my way home tonight. Someone abandoned him in a dirty box a few streets from here.” Dean explains as he watches the puppy curling onto Y/N’s laps. The easy contact this girl has with animals is always surprising him.

“And you took it with you?” Y/N keeps on asking him, the astonishment clearly present in her voice. 

“I heard it might be raining tonight.” Dean shrugs his shoulders and steps back as Y/N crawls out from under the table, the puppy securely wrapped in her arms. “I’m not heartless, I couldn’t leave it alone under the rain.”

They both went into the bathroom, and Y/N can finally understand why Dean is drenched from head to toe once she sees the mess in and around the bathtub.

“Don’t tell me you tried to give it a bath?” She deduces, her eyes wide opened as she takes in the mess all around them.

“It stinks!” Dean defends himself, grabbing a towel to dry his hair. “And it can move really fast.” He adds in a whisper.

Y/N rolls her eyes at Dean’s stupidity. “You scared him, idiot!” She reproaches as she takes a good look at the puppy and realizes that the dog is a male. Now that she can look at it easily, Y/N recognizes the kind of dog she’s holding. It’s a black Finnish Lapphund with two hypnotizing piercing blue eyes.

“We can call him Shadow. It suits him, don’t you think?” She smiles turning around to look at Dean and pressing the puppy’s head against her cheek. She will never admit it but Dean is right, the poor thing stinks.

“Do you always think about dogs’ names so easily?” Dean chuckles, softened by such a cute scene.

“It’s a gift.” Y/N announces proudly before turning on her heels again and walking towards the bathtub. Now that Shadow isn’t scared anymore, she can try to give him a proper bath. 

Dean and her spend the next fifteen minutes in the bathroom, giving Shadow a bath in completely but comfortable silence. Once the dog is finally clean, she takes him from the water and asks Dean to bring her hairdryer from her room, the young man not losing a second and obliges. They both laugh when they see how much Shadow enjoys the hot hair being blown over his fur, and laugh even more at the way he’s sticking up his little butt when Y/N tries to dry the area around his fluffy tail.

Once Dean and Shadow are totally dry and the bathroom clean again, they both sit on the couch, Shadow curled up on Y/N’s lap and slowly drifts to sleep thanks to Y/N’s gentle pets. Dean will never say it out loud but he’s glad to have some normalcy back. The tension between them had completely disappeared as if the few previous days never happened. He would give anything to stay like this, alone with Y/N, sitting on their couch, their knees almost touching but he also knows that he has to say something. 

“Why are you here, Y/N?” He asks in a whisper, half hoping she doesn’t hear him so they could stay like this and ignore the rest of the world.

The soft smile she has on her lips falls as Y/N, herself realizes that the peaceful moment had to be broken. “Your mom came into the shop today.”

Dean closes his eyes and sighs before giving Y/N an apology. “I’m sorry. I have no idea she would come to bother you, I-” An index finger pressed against his lips shushes him.

“Calm down, it’s alright.” She reassures him, the smile back on her face. “To be honest, I needed it. She’s really a wonderful woman, you’re lucky to have her as your mom.”

Dean simply nods, strangely happy to know that Y/N appreciates his mother.

“You told your family the truth? Why?” She asks him, her eyes fixed on his and her voice not above a whisper.

“I’ve lost you already. There was nothing more to lose.” Dean admits, using the same tone.

“You never had me, Dean.” Y/N’s sentence is like a slap in his face. So Mary and Jessica were wrong when they told him Y/N was in love with him, she was just a very good actor, that was it.

“You never had me because I was too scared to believe I could have you.” She adds, knowing how easily Dean could misinterpret her previous statement.

Dean’s head snaps as soon as the words left her lips. “You had me the day you came through those doors, Sweetheart.”

It’s Y/N’s turn to not get Dean’s point. Seeing how hard she’s trying to comprehend what he’s telling her, Dean keeps going. 

“I never needed a roommate, I was just looking for some easy company, you do remember the ad, right?” Dean smirks, remembering exactly each word: ‘Non-smoking women, only.’ “But then you came in and agreed to stay as long as nothing happened between us and I agreed. I thought I could make you change your mind but you resisted and frankly, after a while, I just pretended that I wasn’t attracted to you anymore but now I realize that I was lying to myself.”

The more Dean explains himself, the more they become closer without even realizing it. As Dean keeps on explaining, he leans a bit more comfortable on the couch, one lazy arm draped on top of it, just behind Y/N’s head.

“I don’t know why I lied to my mom that day. When she asked me if I was going to the party alone, I thought about you right away. Don’t ask me why I don’t have the answer. I just thought about you. And I thought I would be fine then but you had to charm me that weekend, without forcing yourself and then I just knew. I knew you would be the one, and damn it believe me when I say I tried to fight it and then-”

“Are you going to kiss me? Because I have enough of your ramblings already.” She whispers, her cheeks a deep red despite the confident voice she can muster. Honestly, she’s scared because it’s exactly what she dreamt of hearing but she couldn’t believe it, she must be daydreaming. She is proud of herself for not having run away already and knows that the only reason she’s still here is because of the ball of fur sleeping on her lap.

Surprised at first by her sharp tongue, Dean doesn’t let go of this occasion. He’s been dreaming of kissing her for so long, there’s no way he will let that chance slip. Gently, he brings his body closer, their knees now touching while his hand cups her cheek. Dean can’t help and smirks when he notices the way she’s softly biting on her lower lip, her body buzzing under his fingertips, so he doesn’t wait any longer and ends the torturous wait by pressing his lips against her. He wants to keep the kiss chaste and gentle but that was without counting on Y/N to be the greedier one. Once the first surprise at the contact has passed, she’s responding to his kiss eagerly, her tongue licking his lower lip, seeking a way inside. Dean, being proud to please his women grants her wish, happily. His other hand cups the other side of her face, tilting their heads in the movement, giving them more room to deepen their kiss. They’re not in a rush, they just want to enjoy this unique moment, their very first kiss, after several failed attempts and it’s sweet as fuck. Their tongues are fighting each other, curious and greedy. The only reason they part is that they need to breathe, so, ruefully, Dean breaks the embrace, his lips missing the soft touch of her already.

“Dean, I have to tell you, I’m sorry I-” Y/N starts to apologize, still breathless and flushed but this time it’s Dean’s turn to shush her.

“It’s getting late. Why don’t we apologize tomorrow, hm?” He pleaded, his forehead pressed against her. “Would you stay the night? Please?”

“Would you let me stay more than one night?” She asks instead of answering him and a slight grin adorns Dean’s lips as he kisses her forehead.

“You can stay as long as you want, Sweetheart. Is forever long enough for you?” He jokes between kisses.

The bright smile she’s giving him is enough of an answer. Slowly they stand up, Y/N careful with her movements so she doesn’t wake up Shadow who is happily snoring into her arms. She heads for her bedroom and Dean opens her door for her. She can feel her heart sore when she notices Dean’s old tee-shirt on the top of her bed.

“Good night, Sweetheart. See you tomorrow.” Dean wishes her goodnight, kissing her again as he can’t get enough. Now that he knows how she tastes, he just needs more. She’s really addicting.

“By the way,” he asks suddenly as he was going to close her door and leave her alone. “Are you staying for me or the dog?” He jokes, knowing perfectly the answer but any excuse is enough to keep her in his sight.

“Both?” She answers sheepishly before laughing when Dean’s face falls, he wasn’t expecting that kind of answer.

***

A few days later, Y/N is whistling in the kitchen, preparing Dean and her breakfast. After a very long day full of talking they’re back to their usual routine. They both were honest to each other and agreed to never lie to themselves anymore. If one of them has something to say, then they’ll say it, no matter how hard or scary it could be. They haven’t put a label on their relationship yet.

“Stop it!” She warns Dean, her back turned towards him as she’s flipping the pancakes in the pan. “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re trying to do.”

Dean freezes his movement, a bit of bacon dangling from his fingertips as he gives Shadow an apologetic look.

“Sorry buddy, I swear she has eyes in the back of her head.” He whispers to the puppy who’s waiting for the piece of bacon to magically fall on the ground. “Sweetheart, your phone is ringing a lot this morning.” Dean comments, hearing the stupid device ringing on the coffee table.

“I wonder who it is.” She ponders, whipping her hands with a towel as she walks into the living room but the ringing stops before she has time to take the call. That’s the moment she notices she has missed 35 calls and has 52 messages left. “Oh shit!”

“What?” Dean asks, curious to know what’s going on.

“Ketch! I completely forgot I was supposed to go out with him yesterday.” She answers without thinking, too focused on reading the angry messages the British man left her.

“Ketch?” Dean exclaimed and to Shadow’s delight a piece of bacon finally falls on the ground, miraculously. “Seriously?”

Dean doesn’t care about the deathly glare she’s throwing at him for feeding Shadow with bacon, the Ketch topic being more important at the moment.

“I was a bit confused and made a mistake.” She admits and rolls her eyes, knowing how sensitive that particular topic is.

Dean comes into the living room and manhandles Y/N, forcing her to turn around and look at him. “No, no, no.” Dean disagrees, pressing his forehead against her. “Having sex in the shower is a mistake. Forgetting my mom’s birthday is a mistake. Dating Ketch is simply the dumbest move. You should thank me for saving you from his claws, you deserve better.” He finally says, kissing her deeply.

With a soft tap on his arms that are wrapped around her waist, she breaks their embrace, an amused smile on her lips. “Because you’re better?”

“Damn right, I am.” Dean grins proudly.

“Damn right you are.” She concedes, kissing him back. “Oh, speaking of which! Mary called yesterday, she asked me to remind you that your Uncle Bobby’s birthday party is next weekend.” She remembers suddenly. “She didn’t seem surprised to have me over the phone. Did you tell your mom that we’re together?”

Dean shakes his head no, a fond smile on her lips, and wraps his arms around her once again, bringing their body closer. “Not yet,” Dean admits and smiles a bit more, picturing how his family will react when he’ll come with Y/N at his sides.

“Now that you mention it, I haven’t asked you something.” He starts, unwrapping his arms from her waist and taking both of her hands in his before becoming suddenly serious. “Will you be my girlfriend? For real this time.” He asks, his eyes plunged into her.

As she loses herself into the deepest green eyes she has ever seen, Y/N knows there is only one answer to that question. Their relationship started the day this man pronounced one little white lie and none of them knew how it would turn. That day she thought she was helping one pretty, little liar and the story would be over by the end of the weekend. However, after some stupid complication they didn’t need, Y/N finally knows that Dean Winchester is and always will be her pretty little liar. So instead of answering him with a plain and obvious answer, Y/N gives him the most passionate kiss she can provide.

“Friendly advice,” she says as they broke the kiss, their lips still touching. “Next time you propose to me, bring the ring with you or your mom will kill you.”

FIN

Pour Toujours tags:  @drakelover78​​, @akshi8278​​

PLL tags: @eliwinchester99​​, @paiswhite​​, @vicmc624​​, @metalfangirl, @londoncallingbutiwontpickup​

[livingmybestfakelife]

St. James Infirmary

Summary: As much as Tommy wanted to fulfill his promise to you to move on, this might be one that he just can’t keep

Paring: Tommy Shelby x Reader

“Let it go, let it go, God bless her

Wherever she may be”

The only thing stopping him from getting up was his wife cuddled on top of him, he envied Grace's ability to sleep throughout the night, he tried his hardest to gently move her, making her stir a little before she stilled again, letting out a silent sigh he sits up and goes to slip on a shirt and his pajama pants, the cold floor on the bottom of his feet didn't bother him like it usually does, for some reason he was burning up despite the fact that it was snowing outside, maybe he was coming down with a cold and had a fever, which would be the last thing he needed right now, he was too busy to have to lay in bed for a week.

Once he arrived to his office he streched and and plopped down in his chair, doing nothing for a moment but stare at the piles of paper on his desk, why did he think it was a good idea to begin doing loads of paperwork while in a drowsy state was beyond him, it was just something in him itching to do it “Well, let’s get this over with, maybe I’ll get bored to sleep” he says to himself while lifting up a pen, once again doing nothing, he didn’t understand what was going on with him lately, this happened for the fifth night in a row, waking up around the same time and not being able to go back to sleep, and if he did he’d just wake back up a couple of hours later, the insomnia begin to show on his face, bags forming under his eyes and his wrinkles becoming more prominent, everyone was worried but him, using the stress of business as an excuse but they knew better.

After all it was nearing the anniversary of your unfortunate death, the family agreed that this was the cause of his unhealthy sleeping schedule but knew well enough not to bring it up, it was too important for him to forget, the reason for his coldness, besides the war, your death drained Tommy of any peace, any faith and hope for the future, he no longer planned ahead or was optimistic, “whatever happens will just have to happen” he once told Polly the evening after your funeral, her heart broke for her nephew, never seeing him give up this easily.

He tossed his pen on a stack of paper before leaning back in his chair “the fuck is the matter with you?” He mumbles, he knew the answer to that question but choose to not acknowledge it, the denial comforting him just a little, the less he remembered the better, he had to fight it and stuff it away, it’s what you wanted, you never liked how he always fussed over you, obsessed over your entire being, so much so that he was willing to change and go fully legit once he arrived home from France “I’ll be an honest man for you, I want you to be proud of me”.

But being an honest businessman wasn’t him, maybe as a lover but not professionally, no matter how much he loved and adored you, there will always be a part of him that would miss his old ways, you never pushed him to be anything he wasn’t, his business was never something you were that into, of course you showed up to family meetings and gave your input when needed, but other than that you kept your opinions to yourself, more comfortable staying behind the scenes.

He still thought of you as an important factor to the company, helping out whenever things got backed up, assisting either him or Polly with whatever they needed, he once caught a glimpse of you and Pol having tea in her office during a break, you had stood up to refill your cup, and when the sunlight hit you he had noticed a pudge in your stomach, it made his heart want to hop out of his chest, how did he not notice it before? You, his dream girl was pregnant with his baby, HIS child, who else? Well he could think of someone else but you hadn’t seen him in over a month, he made sure of it, that part of your life with the prim and proper pretty boy and heir to his fathers newspaper company was over.

It wasn’t until later that night when he finally said something to you about it, wrapping his arms around your waist as you were taking out your earrings, he looked you up and down in the mirror and then pecked your neck “I finally have you for good now” you gave him a dumbfounded look and it only made him chuckle, moving his hands up and down your slightly swollen belly “We’re having a baby YN, a little you and me” your hands begin to shake and he reached over to hold them “Everything is gonna be alright love, it’s all gonna be alright”

He was interrupted from his thoughts when the door opened and soft footsteps made it’s way closer to him, looking up to see his daughter rubbing her eyes and yawning “Hi daddy” he grinned while opening his arms wide, waiting for her to hop into his arms “Hello ladybug, what are you doing up aye?” “I had a dream about mummy, she was singing to me, I wanted to come tell you” he held his baby tight in his arms, not wanting to let her go even more after hearing her confession, she was one of very few things left in the world to remember you by, he obviously had to get rid of your clothes because of Grace, donating them to the local shelters, your jewelry going to Ada, all he had left were two photos and his daughter Tulip Esmeralda, she was the spitting image of you, eyes, hair texture, even your cute high pitched laugh, now that you were gone she was his main priority in this life, sure he cared for Grace, she was beautiful and sweet enough, but she wasn’t you, and especially not his little Tulip, often putting her first which she understood completely, still doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

“Mummy sounded beautiful didn’t she, love” “Yes dad, just as pretty as she is” he held in his tears and gave her a big kiss on the cheek, she then got down from his lap and kissed his cheek before going to leave “Going so soon, you just got here?” “I just wanted to tell you that daddy, don’t you wanna hear about what mummy is doing in heaven?” He nods and smiles “Course I do” “She loves me and you daddy, the angels are taking care of her...night night!” She runs off back to bed, leaving the door wide open “Night night” he shouts back.

He sits there for a while then hears another pair of footsteps, heavier ones than ones of a seven year old “Thomas?” Grace is standing at the door, wrapping her robe tightly around her “What are you doing up?” She enters the office but he holds a hand up to stop her “It’s alright, I’m coming back to bed, feeling a little drowsy now” she gives him a little smile and he gets up to walk her out “Was that Tulip I heard earlier?” “Yep, she was coming to tell me that she saw YN again” she nods and clears her throat, as hard as she tried to hide her discomfort, it was all over her face, just when she thought that he finally had you out of his system, here came his daughter to place you back in, it wasn’t enough that she had to look at your portrait everyday on the wall next to the staircase, you, him and baby Tulip, he couldn’t bring himself to take that down as well.

“What’s the matter?” He asks, she forces a smile and shakes her head “Nothing, it’s wonderful that she remembers her mum” “Seriously what’s wrong?” Grace sighs and closes the door, this was it, she couldn’t hold back anymore, she knew she would sound like unsympathetic but it was how she felt “Why did you love her more than she loved you?” “Excuse me?” She kept her composure, not wanting to back down so soon “You wanna know who I ran into today in town? David Mills, you know, her ex fiancé...Well we talked, had a deep conversation, mostly about YN, how you framed him for treason and gotten him banned from the United Kingdom for three years, he knew you had something to do with it but could never prove it, and when he returned from America he discovered that YN had moved on, you both had gotten married and Tulip was already like what, two years old? You wanna know what else he told me Thomas? He told me that YN had wrote to him during those years he had been away, she was very much still in love with him, but felt trapped because she had your baby and knew you’d never let her go” “That’s not true” “It very much is, it’s been that way ever since you both were teenagers, she could never break from your chain Thomas you were always-“ she yelped when he slammed his fist up against the wall beside her head, he gripped her jaw and made her look at him “Every time we fuck all I see is her, I see YN, I have to hold myself back from calling her name to not hurt your feelings, don’t think for ONE second that just because I married you that my love for her lessened, it will be her till the day I die, all that I own and posses in this world will go to my daughter when I pass on, all that I’ve earned and built was for our family together, and now that she’s gone the next thing close to her is our child, every single cent Grace, widows don’t always get everything...she’s a nice kid so she might be willing to share with you, consider yourself lucky of her generosity” he lets her go and opens the door and storming out, leaving her there speechless, she lets out a little weep and covers her mouth to muffle her cries.

All this time she’d been jealous of you because of the adoration he held for you, the attention he gave to you, from the outside looking in you were the luckiest girl to have Thomas Shelby wrapped around your finger, her jealousy now turned to pitty, you had no choice but to be his favorite person, you were stuck and trapped up until your last day on Earth, your last day of life would be your only chance of freedom, love really does blind you, it made her miserable and him insane, and poor little Tulip is now the only thing keeping him semi stable, Grace thanks her lucky stars for that kid right now.

...

“Daddy?” “Shh go to sleep my love” “Okay” “Oh, and Tulip” “Yes daddy?” “If mummy visits again tell her that I love her okay” “Okay dad” He smoothes her hair away from her face and watches her drift off to sleep, he looks over to see one of the two pictures of you on her nightstand, “I love you Mrs. Shelby” he whispers, and for a second he could swear he can see you smile wider in the photo.

[doeeyeddarlingxo]

Myriad Misadventures - Chapter 59

The Myriad Misadventures of a Midgardian Queen-In-Training - Chapter 59

AO3 | Previous | Next

Word Count: 1399

Pairing: Loki/Reader

Rating: T

Taglist (lmk if you want to be added!): @lokis-girl-in-mischief

Chapter 59

You recognize the voice, but the tone takes you by surprise. You jerk your shoulder away, and quiet down the sobs just long enough to spit at her, “Go to hell, Rosa.”

She tsks, and tries again with a hand under your elbow. “Come on, let’s get you up.”

“Leave me alone.”

“Not a chance.”

You let her help you to stand, and lead you up the staircase towards her room.

She lends you a pair of her pajamas. She plops you down on the bed. Somehow, you manage to explain it all— I love you , your family, his dismissal, everything but his confession of the mind-control—without her even laughing once. It feels surreal, how gentle she’s being, how kind. You’re reminded of the time she spiked your drink at dinner, but somehow this feels more sincere.

Rosa lets out a low whistle once you’ve finished. “That sucks.”

“Yeah.” You sniff once, giving her a look of reproach. “Why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden? After all this time? I thought you wanted me gone, like, yesterday.”

She’s quiet for a long, long time. Just as you’re beginning to fear you might have broken her, she reaches into the neckline of her gown, and brings out the chain she’s always worn. It’s longer than you’d expected—after all, she’d always worn it with the pendant hidden.

But now you see that the pendant isn’t a pendant at all. It’s a ring.

“I didn’t want to come either, (Y/N).” She unhooks the clasp and takes off the ring, dropping it in your palm.

“You’re married? ”

Rosa shakes her head. “Engaged.”

“Wow.” You hand the ring back to her. “You came anyway? No judgement,” you add hastily. “But...that must have felt impossible.”

“We weren’t wealthy, my family. Neither was Nico—My fiancé. Nicolas.” She stares straight ahead, rolling the ring between her thumb and forefinger absently, as though out of habit. “He made me promise I’d try. For a better life. For a way up in the world.”

You wrinkle her nose. “You’re still here, aren’t you?”

“You think I tried?” Rosa snaps, the familiar fire back in full force. “You’ve seen the front I put up. Catty. Aloof. Wild. Not queenly at all.” She takes a deep breath. “Sorry. Habit.” “Point taken.”

“And all this time, I’ve just been waiting. Waiting for His Majesty to find out and send me home.” Her eyes well up, and she swallows thickly. “He married someone else, you know. Nico. I found out when we went home last month.” A bitter laugh escapes her throat. “This contest is all I have left.”

You don’t know what to say to that. Part of you wants to still comfort her. But no matter how vulnerable this new Rosa may seem, there’s still a steeliness in her eyes that makes you shy away from displays of affection. Seeing her as a viable candidate for friendship is going to take some getting used to.

Luckily, you don’t have to make a decision on whether or not to reach out, because after taking a moment to compose herself, Rosa speaks up again. “So. He dropped the L bomb, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“You gonna say it back?”

“I want to. But I’m scared. What if I say it and then as soon as I do, I want to take it back?”

“Close your eyes,” she says. You obey. “Over the past few months, maybe the last year, how would you describe your opinion of him?”

You purse your lips. “He’s arrogant.”

“And?”

“Crazy,” you say jokingly. “And he’s got a God complex bigger than your ego.”

“Hey!”

You smile at the sound of her protest. “I’m kidding. That’s what I used to think, before...you know, before. He’s different in person. He’s funny, and charming, and kind. And...softer, I guess, than I’d expected.”

“And?” she prompts.

“And?” What more is she looking for?

“Do you still love him?”

Your eyes flutter open. “I…” You look down at your hands. “Look, I know what I said before. And I still feel that way - I think - but you were a teenager once. You know how it is. I can feel one way one minute and do an emotional one-eighty a minute later. But I still feel something for him. Even when I’m tempted to shove him out a window, I still feel something for him. If that’s love, then yes. But I don’t have any experience in this - I have no idea what it’s supposed to be like.”

“Nobody has any idea what love’s supposed to feel like, (Y/N). It’s different every time. But…” She chuckles. “If you can want to throw things at him and still love him, then yeah, there’s a pretty good chance that your feelings are legit.”

“I need to tell him.” You stand up, ready to go, but then… You stop, and turn to look at them. “Is that okay?”

“Okay? Of course it’s okay .”

“Right.” You bite your lip. “What if it’s too late? What if I messed everything up, and he doesn’t say it back, and—

“So?” Rosa gives you her signature shrug, but her eyes, still glistening with tears, are the most sincere you’ve ever seen them. “If there’s one thing I know, it’s that you can’t hide your feelings from the world and still hope for a happy ending.”

It’s all the encouragement you need.

*************************************************

You take off down the hall in Rosa’s too-long pajama pants. You need to do this before you overthink it. If you tell him it’s time, tell him you’re ready, tell him yes —

Your family. Your friends. Your life, already unrecognizable from what it was three years ago, will begin again in an entirely new direction.

Wife.

Queen.

It’s a lot to think about, hence the running. You don’t want to give yourself enough time to change your mind.

You reach his office just as the door swings open, revealing Rhea on her way out. You curtsy to her as you did before, though with substantially more energy. She gives you an odd look, but who cares? You have more important things to worry about.

“Loki!”

You’re red-cheeked and out of breath, and your heart is so light and so warm with excitement that when you see him, turning around to look at you, you think you might just float away.

“I have to tell you something.”

“And I you.” His tone is somber, but that’s to be expected, right? After all, you just rejected him. He doesn’t know that you’re about to un-reject him.

“Is it okay if I go first?” If you don’t get this out soon, you’ll lose the nerve. “It’s important.”

“Please, (Y/N)—”

“I love you.”

The relief is instantaneous, and more powerful than you could have predicted, confirming what you’ve been refusing to admit to yourself all these months.

“You—”

“—love. You.” You barely pause to breathe, the words tumbling forth without inhibition. “And I’m not going anywhere. I’m here, I’m ready. If that means being queen, I can do that. If it means never telling anybody about the hypnotism stuff, fine, I can do it. I can try to convince my family, they’ll have to understand, I just—” The emotions welling up inside you threaten to spill over, yet after all that you can’t seem to muster any physical gesture more complicated than a shrug. “I just thought you should know.”

His eyes are wide with shock. You imagine he must be a mirror of your expression when he made the same confession earlier; the thought makes you smile even more.

He doesn’t answer, though. He doesn’t say anything.

After nearly a minute of this, you break the silence on your own. “What, um, what did you want to tell me?”

“I...must go.”

“What?”

“I must...I have some important matters to attend to.”

“Oh.” He still looks dazed; not unpleased, but unfocused. In shock, still, you suppose, but it’s a strange reaction, considering the magnitude of what you’ve just admitted. Maybe this is what you deserve, after your response earlier? “Should I go?”

He seems to snap out of it then. “Tonight is the weekly episode, yes? Of that television program, the one following the competition?”

“Yes, why?”

He just nods, and then walks out the door.

You blink.

Well...that was odd.

[ladyculebras]

ALL THE WAYS THE PET SEMATARY REMAKE IS BAD

SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY FOR EVERYTHING

1. This movie blames Rachel for EVERYTHING. This is the big main thing that bothers me throughout the film. Rachel is at fault, either directly or subtly, throughout the film.

First off, Rachel is the one who fears death so much she cannot bear to prepare her daughter for the possibility of Church dying, while the original actively had them trying to get Church fixed so he wouldn't wander around so much and thus, less likely to die. This wouldn't bother me so much, but LOUIS is the one who okay talking about death and wants to talk to Ellie about it and wants to not shield her from the truth that Church could die. This...ruins the whole narrative thrust. Louis is supposed to be fearful of death, shying away from exposing his family to it in any capacity, to the point where he avoid any kind of confrontation and causes the whole problem. Louis and his inability to handle death when it hits home is the whole POINT.

But furthermore, Rachel is the one who doesn't want to tell Ellie about Church dying! Louis WANTS to tell her but Rachel convinces him to tell her that Church ran away and tells him to go bury Church in secret. So inadvertently, it's all Rachel's fault. If Louis just talked to his daughter about death, and her dead cat, none of this would have happened. It completely removes accountability from Louis, when that is his whole tragic flaw.

Look this wouldn't bother me so much if Rachel were the main character instead. You want to make it her fault this happens, that's okay! But make her drive the story then! Don't do it as a way to absolve Louis of further responsibility!!!!!!

FURTHERMORE!!!! YES THERE'S MORE. After Ellie's death, Rachel is the one who decides to go away and leaves Louis behind...for reasons. Like yes I understand why she would want to get away from this awful place, but the movie completely cuts out the subplot of Rachel's parents hating Louis, so there is no reason for him not to go. But this also removes Louis actively conspiring to get Rachel to go away so he can go do a bad thing. It's a small thing but a really important thing that means Louis just doesn't come off as badly as he did in the original. The original movie is about grief but it's also about the folly of a man who is unable to let go or listen to anyone around him, and making terrible decisions that he hides from the female members of his family that ruins them all. It's so clearly obvious the male directors did not want Louis to look TOO BAD. Trying to remove accountability from Louis ruins the whole point and the tragedy as well. If Louis doesn't make these choices, if held held back from accepting death because his wife asked him too, how can this be his fault.

2. BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE ON RACHEL'S HANDS.

In the original, Rachel recounts her sister Zelda's death in a scene with Louis and explains that she wanted her to die and she felt awful for wanting that. Louis comforts her and tells her she did nothing wrong and her parents were awful for putting her through that. Then insists she takes a valium for her anxiety because LOLZ THE 80s AND CASUAL DRUG USE, MAN.

Here, she tells Louis the story but explains that she ACCIDENTALLY killed her sister, by forcing her sister--who can't get out of bed--to crawl to a dumbwaiter to get her food where she falls in, because Rachel was too scared.to go up to her and give her the food herself. Now, I don't have a problem with this, this doesn't make her a bad person in my eyes, but the change itself puts some responsibility on an EIGHT YEAR OLD KID for her sister's death in a way that the original movie and book didn't.

Then later, reanimated Ellie says YOU PRAYED YOUR SISTER WOULD DIE like it's an evil dark secret that she's revealing. AS IF THATS SOMETHING A EIGHT YEAR OLD NEEDS TO FEEL BAD ABOUT. AS IF THAT MAKES RACHEL ACTUALLY TERRIBLE.

God I hate this change the most because I adored the original for going there with the themes of grief and exploring all the ugly messy emotions involved in grief and not just dead children but prolonged illness. And demonizing those emotions for a cheap shocking reveal at the end is not dark and mature storytelling, its childish.

3. Also holy shit this movie mishandled Zelda so badly. They have Zelda straight up threaten Rachel and say she hated her and she was going to end up just like her. Her NEVER GET OUT OF BED AGAIN line is an actual threat to her. It was a weird demonization of an ill woman, when the original was already sketching the line in its portrayal of meningitis, but this was so much worse. Those words are manifestations of Rachel's anxiety!!! THEY ARE NOT ACTUAL THREATS. IT'S JUST RACHEL THINKING HER SISTER MUST HATE HER.

The whole scene is played for weird jack in the box jump scares instead of the existential horror of watching your sister be ravaged by disease when you are too young to understand what that is.

4. Ellie is this weird perfect angel child, and it bothers me. In the original story, she's scared of the pet sematary at first. She has a great speech about how Church is her cat, not God's cat, he can't have him! She cries and storms off and throws tantrums and says SHIT. She is a regular kid, basically. In the book, she actively annoys Louis! Here, she's just...boringly perfect. Everyone loves her. She never gets angry. She never cries. She doesn't even seem upset when Church attacks her. Jud is enchanted by her, literally saying he is under her spell, WTF. This wouldn't be so bad in general, bad writing for a child but not necessarily awful, but it bothers me the most here because it's all set up for when Ellie dies and comes back as a total monster. Ellie cannot actually be her own character but a pedestaled symbol of a child for Louis to cry over, and for the audience to feel horrified by when she returns as a shell of herself. At least when the original did that with Gage, it made sense, because he is a TODDLER and they have no real personalities. We as a whole tend to over idealize babies and the only thing you can really do with Gage narratively is make him a symbol.

5. Speaking of Zombie Ellie, I wanted to be open to the whole Ellie dies and comes back thing! I hated the idea of it initially but I was hoping it'd be interesting. I liked the beginning, with Ellie being set up as fascinated and drawn to the pet semetary to begin with, and I was kinda hoping the movie would follow her pov instead. After all, I love a good monster girl story and I was really intrigued by the idea of Ellie being AWARE she's been reanimated, and angry about it, upset about it. But tbh, I think the movie in general seemed to go with the idea that Ellie is not Ellie at all but the wendigo, acting through her.

But it was BAD, partly because the actress was not good--not her fault she was given poor direction and shitty material and she's just a KID--but also partly because these dudes just don't know how to write women and don't know how to write girls and didn't really grant the reanimated Ellie any actual humanity or depth. She existed to torment those around her, like she was seeking revenge, rather than coming back wrong as something monstrous like child Gage in the original. She came off as a generic creepy girl child who was possessed.

HONESTLY just having Ellie speak was a terrible idea. I sort of get what they were going for, after all,in the book, undead Gage speaks and knows things he should not know, and Elie as an avatar of...the wendigo *TAKE A FUCKING SHOT* would do the same, I get that they were doing that. But oh god the batman voice they gave her and the terrible lines sounded so OFF. She would have been creepier if she didn't say anything or at least, spoke in a regular little girl voice. It would have been creepier if she was clearly not Ellie and Louis didn't care--they kept going so back and forth on Louis in these scenes, first he is scared of what he brought back and uncomfortable with her and yelling at her, but then he is all HUG YOUR DAUGHTER!!!!!!! GOD CAN HAVE HIS OWN CHILD!!!!! And then he is back to wanting to kill her. But honestly, I don't need the movie to have done things my way, just...not this. This was terribly executed. 

6. Speaking of, they were doing some weird...psychosexual Elektra complex with undead Ellie and Louis. First the shot with both of them in the bed together is mirrored earlier with a shot of both Rachel and Louis in bed together....okay then. I mean. That doesn't mean anything. Maybe I am just misinterpreting. But then Ellie is like SHE DOESNT WANT ME HERE AND I DON'T WANT MOMMY HERE (but she still...reanimates her...for reasons. Why. I don't understand).

Then Ellie attacks Jud and wears the face of his WIFE TO DO IT and torments him like that.

Why. Why would you do this. I hate these writers. These are the worst choices.

7. THEY GAVE ELLIE'S PSYCHIC POWERS TO GAGE I'M SO ANGRY ABOUT THIS.

8. This movie legit single perfect tears Louis during Ellie's funeral. Are you kidding me. A single perfect tear. FOR REAL. THIS IS A MOVIE ABOUT GRIEF. 

9. A lot of the promo material before the movie came out made a big deal about staying truer to the book than the original and it being an adaptation of the book, not a remake of the movie. Sure, but they barely do anything with wendigo and I'm kinda glad, because the whole INDIAN BURIAL GROUND is a bad trope and King's depiction of the Wendigo is soooo wrong and misinformed and terrible but like..this movie didn't do anything with the mythology except name drop it.

10. I AM ACTUALLY MAD THEY MADE CHURCH EVIL. Like this is nitpicking I know but!  In the book, Church (and the reanimated dog) isn't actually evil, he's a zombie. Hes described as not quite how to be a cat anymore. And even in the movie, Church doesn't do anything sinister. He only attacks Louis and who could blame him, and he never hurts Ellie at all. She still sleeps with him in her bed. So I am honestly annoyed they had Church actively attack Ellie jklasfasda

11. Oh my god let's talk about Pascow. WHAT THE FUCK HAVE THEY DONE TO PASCOW. They completely neutered him and made him just a generic ghost, for the most part. Pascow is cheerful in the original, while also being creepy yet relatable. You can really emphasize with his sheer helplessness to stop the tragedy from unfolding. But none of that comes across here. Maybe they wanted to maintain the completely SERIOUS tone, but ultimately Pascow is supposed to be a soothing presence. He is there to remind people that death isn't evil and something that needs to be accepted. He isn't supposed to be there for jump scares, and then completely disappear for the most part.

12. Also the optics of casting a black man for Pascow , and then completely and grotesquely fucking up his face so bad his brains are exposed in his scenes...while Ellie also gets hit by a truck and she looks completely okay, like a perfect corpse angel is just. Gross and bad and racist and sexist ALL AT ONCE, AMAZING.

Like look, I don't WANT to see a mutilated gored up child, sure, but it's so shitty that both these characters get hit by trucks and the black man looks like....he got hit by a truck but the white child looks fine. She looks fine. Her head is stapled and her eyes are a little mismatched but fine.

13. THE EDITING IS SO BAD. It feels like they couldn't WAIT to get to the ending fast enough so scenes will literally smash cut to the next right in the middle of an action. There was a moment where Church is hissing and then it just CUTS immediately in the middle of hissing, he doesn't even get to finish hissing! Just cut to the next scene! There is no lingering on a moment to just process. Things just happen.

14. The story of Timothy, the person who was brought back one time, is just a footnote in this movie. It's barely relevant. That was a such a great creepy moment that underscored the whole movie and it's themes, and it's just gone.

15. Why is Jud so creepy. He literally looks at Louis and the family from a distance and ominously smokes a cigarette and he's so mysterious for no reason and even his first meeting with Ellie he yells at her and then is like WHAT, CAN'T YOU READ about the pet sematary sign. WHAT ARE THESE CHOICES. For a moment I thought Jud would be evil but no he's just weird and creepy for reasons? The movie sacrificed his and Louis' relationship to build one with him and Ellie, which is cute but also kinda bothers me because it's really to just make Ellie look like she is SO IMPORTANT TO JUD and that's why he tells Louis how to bring her cat back and it's…weird. Jud seems overinvested in the family and kids that aren't his rather than like,being friends with them all.

Jud is CHARMING. You fall in love with his kindly old man gentleman nature. He feels like everyone's grandpa. He is warm and delightful and it's such a shock and horror when he dies in such a brutal way. Trying to frame him in shadow with an ominous cigarette reduces the warmth of the character for no reason!

Furthermore, Jud's warmth is meant to obscure that he's ultimately rather weak himself, in character, just like Louis. He's not entirely at fault for the events but he cant help himself in telling Louis about burying church, rather than implying that the dark power is literally ensnaring him to make Louis do it jaksfsadfasdfa

16. LOUIS LITERALLY DRUGS JUD LIKE A DATE RAPIST WHAT THE FUCK

17. Guys, you can't just turn on a fog machine on your set and say you're an atmospheric movie. HAVING FOG IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR GENUINE DREAD.

18. The ending is just bad. I REALLY WANTED TO LIKE zombie family but its filmed like for cheap shock, rather than genuine horror. I love dark endings, but it didn't feel like a tragedy the movie should be, it just felt like the hand of the writers were trying to do a different ending to say SEE THIS IS DIFFERENT! LOOK AT HOW DIFFERENT AND DARK WE ARE. I just...hate the whole framing. I love the idea of the whole family being reanimated but I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY. Ellie wanted to torture them like she is being tortured? That's a great concept but it's not really a thing in the movie. You can't tell if Zombie Rachel or Zombie Louis feel any kind of horror or torment at their own state, which undercuts the whole reanimation.

Ok in the interest of being fair, here are some things I liked.

1. I do genuinely love Ellie in this movie at the beginning. I liked the idea of her being drawn to the cemetery. I really liked the scene where Louis is giving her a bath and he sees the staples from the autopsy. I loved the bits when it was sort of suggested that even she didn't know why she was back and where she had gone and did not understand why she could feel the woods inside her. I wish we just expanded on that more.

2. Church. Church is great. Church is always great. Best cat, did no wrong. This movie did not kill the cat off for good, so that is a bonus.

3. There's a moment where Louis is trying to justify bring Ellie back to life and Rachel is just staring at him agog and horrified and Louis is wild eyed and shaking and it's the most terrifying moment in the movie for me. Not Ellie or the wendigo, but LOUIS, having completely lost it and not giving a shit that he has an undead monster daughter right now. SO GREAT. The movie undercuts it later by having him realize he ~needs to kill Ellie~ again and like...no, go full steam ahead with that.

4. SOME SHOTS LOOK GOOD I GUESS

In conclusion MEN ARE DUMB AND SHOULD NOT BE GIVEN WOMEN'S FILMS TO REMAKE

[portmanteaurian]

Murder She Wrote S01E03: Fuck Off Freddy

I adore this woman. I’ve already decided.

Anyway if this is the episode I think it is we are in for a wild ride and a bit of a mixed bag.

An idyllic scene to be sure. I can’t remember if every episode’s title card is a view of the lighthouse? We’ll see, I suppose.

Fave guest star name today: BART BRAVERMAN

Also noteworthy:

MARIAAAAAAA/I JUST MET A GIRL NAMED MARIAAAA

Only one of these people is dressed for jogging

Mr. Three-piece is demanding to be paid because he’s finished with...something he has agreed to do. Velour Tracksuit insists he’s not finished til Tracksuit SAYS he’s finished, and he won’t get the money til then.

Three-piece is named howard and his hair is very round

also sorry for implying this guy (Al) would wear a velour tracksuit I think it’s actually...corduroy???

Another guy, Mike, shows up, and also is trying to get money out of Al. He alludes to a deal. Al is not a well-liked guy!

i could give you context for this image of mike but I choose to let it stand alone

we meet Howard’s fiancee, who is attempting to stop a priest from aggressively upselling her on a bigger, more “festive” wedding

she alludes to an aunt from Maine and we all know what that means, she’s one of Jessica’s innumerable legion of relatives.

Howard and fiancee (we still don’t have her name) argue because he keeps having to cancel evening plans with her (five nights in a row!) to meet with “very important” clients and so forth. As audience members we already know Al has demanded Howard do something for him tonight, so we know Howard is ~keeping secrets~.

Meanwhile the priest is like “I do actually have things to do other than your wedding rehearsal, please set me free”

free him

We cut to dinner Vicky (that’s her name!) and Jessica, where we learn some details about Howard. He was a small-time actor in NY when she met him but now, she says, he sells life insurance. I have my doubts. (And am cheating because I do remember elements of this episode. but the doubts would exist regardless).

They’ve known each other for a year which I guess could be long enough to get married but does seem quick to me.

Vicky: I would love Howard no matter what business he was in. I really love him -- and he loves me! He really does, I mean, I know that. For a certainty.

Jessica...

seems a little concerned by how intensely Vicky is hammering this point.

there is a long and awkward pause.

Jessica talks about some last-minute doubts being normal and Vicky drops a bombshell: she stopped by Howard’s office to surprise him the other day, and was told he hadn’t worked there for a month!!

Jessica:

Vicky lays out other information she’s gathered: a lipstick-stained handkerchief, the smell of perfume, matchbooks from a nightclub. She wants to go there and find out what’s going on, but she also asks “if I love him, how can I justify spying on him?”

If I were her I would consider, like, TALKING to my fiance, but I am not a straight person and do not understand their ways.

We cut to the bar.

Surprise! Al’s in charge. We learn the club is very successful and that people have been trying to get him to sell but he has not been willing to. We also learn there’s a musician named Freddy who works there as an exclusive, and the guy who tells us this (his agent?) also informs Al that Freddy wants to be able to play other places as well. Al refuses.

Vicky ruthlessly attempts to finagle a table by capitalizing on Jessica’s fame. Al has no idea who this old lady is. After Vicky rattles off some of her accomplishments though, he is suitably impressed.

Sidenote: we learn here Jessica has SIX bestsellers and I officially have no idea how much time is meant to be passing between episodes of this show. In episode one she wrote her first book!!

Freddy appears. We learn he is a drummer/comedian??? An unexpected venn intersection. He’s not very good.

Carol Lawrence is here, as Al’s wife, and instantly brings up the episode’s glamour quotient several hundred percent.

Anyway speaking of glamour, Freddy (finally) gets off the stage and we are introduced to our headliner:

Michelle DuPont! She is a drag queen. It is a drag club!

Now I remember being skeptical of this reveal when I first watched the episode but pleasantly surprised at things being less bad than I’d feared. We will see if this remains true on rewatch.

Michelle’s set is interrupted by another queen running out from backstage and attempting to get out of the building, as the backstage manager yells for them to be stopped because “He’s a murderer!!”

The queen is tackled to the ground right by Jessica and Vicky’s table, and we learn she is Howard! This is the secret he has been keeping.

I’m not posting pictures of that specific revelation because I don’t love its visual framing.

Anyway, we learn Al has been shot and people are saying Howard did it. He is now under police guard in his dressing room. Vicky demands to be able to see him. The officer agrees

Anyway so here’s the thing I do like: it would be very easy for the show to treat this as a shocking and horrible revelation and really have Howard’s reluctance to tell Vicky be justified? Like, it could have had her react in a real gross and offensive way very easily. 

But instead she’s thrilled to learn that he’s alright and that the thing he was hiding was a job not an affair -- and the nature of the job doesn’t seem to trouble her at all.

So thanks, Murder, She Wrote, for being chiller about drag and gender presentation than a lot of media that is made even today! As someone who presents as male-ish in day to day life but feels much more comfortable performing in a dress and other ‘feminine’ clothing, I genuinely really appreciate not being made to feel like that’s something incredibly shameful.

They’re so engrossed in “reconciling” (making out) that they don’t even notice when this guy comes in to arrest Howard for murder!

But that very much is a problem that still needs addressing.

Barb informs the detective that she didn’t see the killing per se but did walk past the open door and saw Howard standing over Al, with the gun. Given the flashiness of Howard’s stage clothes (and wig) and the fact that she presumably saw him from behind, I do wonder if someone else could have been wearing the costume -- but that’s a variation on the first episode’s mystery so we may not come back to that well just yet.

Jessica is also in the room, hanging out with the REAL star of this episode. She comments on the presence of a small white feather on Al’s jacket, to which the detective reasonably responds “who are you??”

He then asks her to do him a favour, she responds eagerly that she’ll help any way she can, and he tells her to leave. It’s one of the more realistic things to happen in this series.

Freddy can’t stop making bad jokes even while making a police statement about a murder. He’s the worst.

Jessica: [barges into room immediately after Freddy leaves]

Detective:

there’s no escape, buddy!!

“Lady, I’ve been up all night with this case” “I too have been up all night, and I have jet lag! I was supposed to go on a TV show this morning, but I cancelled! Now either you find time to talk to me, or I will go on that show and my subject will not be my next book, it will be the insensitivity and arrogance of this city’s homicide division”

I’ve said it before and will say it again: Jessica Fletcher is every horrible white woman demanding to speak to a manager, except she uses her powers for good.

The detective relents and lets her see Howard for ten minutes. Her first question to him is whether he killed Al, which he of course denies.

“Now, I’d like to believe that, but you did lie to Victoria” 

Cold, Jessica. Cold.

Anyway Howard explains that after losing his job at the insurance company he knew that he still wanted to be a performer, and unless he gave it a real chance he knew he’d be unhappy and that would carry over into his marriage. Which is legit. Doesn’t explain why he didn’t talk to Vicky about it though.

Howard continues, saying that it was meant to be a temporary gig but that the audience liked him because he was clumsy and they thought it was funny, and that Al “wouldn’t let me quit! He knew I was broke, so he held back on my wages”.

“That still doesn’t explain why you were standing over him with a MURDER WEAPON in your hand!!”

Howard explains he had just gone into the room to confront Al about his money, and that he picked up the gun before realizing Al was dead (his chair was turned away from the desk, toward the back of the room). This means my earlier speculation was wrong and it was Howard Barb saw. He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“Oh, Howard, I am so relieved. We’ve only had one killer in our family”

(she was talking about the revolutionary war, it is not as wild a story as it sounds)

Jessica returns to the club, where Freddy’s agent -- who is there for reasons I don’t understand -- promptly tries to get her to hire him. She politely demurs.

Mrs. Drake has taken over business now that her husband is dead and she berates Michelle (now out of drag), who insists that if Mrs. Drake is going to criticize performance, they do it in the privacy of the dressing room.

So...yeah. This is a thing I don’t like about this episode, is that they do go to some pains to show that neither drag performer seen is actually gay. Like...obviously plenty of men who do drag are interested in women but it is a bit disingenuous to have an episode about a drag club where you don’t actually have any textually queer characters.

Jessica goes and has a conversation with Freddy in his dressing room. They don’t talk about anything important but Jessica looks over to the couch and this happens

so clearly she did learn SOMETHING of note. She excuses herself in a hurry and eavesdrops on a conversation between Barbara and Mrs. Drake

“Frankly, Barbara, I don’t know how I ever could run this club without you. But I’m gonna try. You’re fired.”

guys I think Mrs. Drake might know about her husband’s affair.

Jessica entices Barbara into her cab, offering a lift to wherever she needs to go.

Mrs. Drake looms overhead.

In the cab, Barbara suggests she wouldn’t be surprised if Mrs. Drake was the one who did the murder, and described her as “Lucrezia Borgia in furs” which is a pretty solid burn. She then spills the beans on the affair Mrs. Drake and Mike were having.

This is Barbara’s gossip face. She said earlier that the most valuable skill she had as an office manager is knowing how to keep her mouth shut so either she’s full of shit or she has been holding in this gossip sesh for a LONG time. 

In addition to her suspicions of Mrs. Drake and Mike (who apparently was secretly trying to buy the club), she points a finger at Bill Patterson, Freddy’s agent -- could he have wanted to get Freddy out of his contract?

Jessica: “It’s so nice to talk to someone who knows how to be discreet”

Portrait of a man defeated (Jessica has him running tests to see whether a gunshot would have been heard during Freddy’s act)

DEATHTRAP ALERT. second time this week I have watched someone nearly killed by falling theatrical tools. Thanks, Riverdale!

We cut to the following day, where Jessica has moved on to bothering the detective at home.

“The last thing in the world I want to do is interfere, Lieutenant”, says Jessica -- somehow avoiding being struck down by god for such a blatant untruth.

She immediately goes to interfere by talking with Mrs. Drake, who basically warns her to stay out of her business -- but also provides a lead Jessica did not have. Freddy’s contract was not with the club but with Al himself -- and with his death it is null and void. 

Jessica proceeds to whisk herself off to go talk to Freddy some more. She’s admirably consistent.

celebrating in style

are you allowed to bring wine in to the hospital??

Anyway Jessica drops off some flowers, allows Bill Patterson to upbraid her a bit for potentially thinking he or Freddy could be involved, and then smiles and saunters off. She’s up to something.

naptime epiphany!

She has realized the sound of the shot was muffled with a pillow, hence why there was a feather on the body. And that means the murder could have happened earlier than was hitherto believed

Anyway the person who obviously would have had reason to make it seem like the shot happened during Freddy’s set was Freddy -- and that also explains the inexplicable couch closeup earlier, showing an absence of pillow.

And indeed, he shows up at the club where Jessica is explaining her theory to the lieutenant.

“I’m not just a comedian, I’m Freddy York! I’m the first guy who did his own rimshots. I’m like the Edison of comedy”

“Fair is fair. He gave me a shot...I gave him a shot” is a pretty dark fucking joke but it is also the closest to being funny out of anything Freddy has said all episode. He of course ruins it immediately with a sad little spoken “ba-dum-bum” at the end.

And we close with the wedding! I enjoy Vicky’s skirt-suit wedding outfit, very practical.

The fact that the only guests are the people from the club that accused Howard of murder, and the cops who arrested him......................

But Bill found him an acting job! Happy ending, smiles all around

SEE U NEXT TIME i need a catchy sign off phrase fuck

[zindagigulzarhai-blog]

Kuch Rang Pyar Ke - Episode 280-284 (27th March - 31st March, 2017)

This week's episodes started off with Dev's dynamic entry into the Bose house. As we could clearly see, Bijoy was not pleased with Dev and Sonakshi's new staying arrangements. But what Bijoy had to say did not bother Dev at all. He had clearly mentioned that he's there just for Soha, so he didn't really care as to what the others thought of his decision. Soha's face lit up when she came to know that her Dad is going to be staying with her, which shows that Soha wants this staying arrangement to work out as much as her parents want it to. 

Dev asking Jatin to leave the room was very expected of him. No matter how platonic Sonakshi and Jatin's relationship is, even the mere idea of another man in Sonakshi's life gives Dev an unsettling feeling. But Jatin's response to Dev was true. Dev was not a family member to the Boses anymore; he was there only for Soha. At that point, Jatin was more family than Dev was. After Jatin told Dev that he's not going anywhere, Dev had to reassure himself that he's here for Soha, and not to win over Sonakshi. 

Sonakshi promised her father that nothing will happen between her and Dev. This is another point which makes me feel like Sonakshi will be the one to initiate the reconciliation. She's very unnecessarily reassuring everyone around her that there's nothing brewing between her and Dev. While I know that both, Dev and Sonakshi have an excruciatingly long way to go before a reconciliation can even be thought about by either of them, these small hints are making me incline towards Sonakshi taking the step towards wanting to get back together with Dev. Dev has mentioned several times that his focus is only on Soha, and no one else. That shows that he's pretty much given up hope on him and Sonakshi being together again. Also, I love how Sonakshi seemed disappointed when Dev said that he's there just for Soha and doesn't care about anyone else, and when Dev calls Asha his favorite Bose girl. Sonakshi says she's unaffected by Dev, yet we can see her feeling slightly upset every time he prioritizes anyone over her.

Ishwari is someone who has stayed true to her character from the very first episode. She was insecure about losing Dev to a girl back then, and is still insecure about losing Dev to Sonakshi now. Well, I thought it was only Sonakshi, but now Ishwari seems to be having a problem with the amount of importance and attention Soha is getting from Dev. I cannot believe Ishwari wanted to take food for Dev to the Bose house the very first day itself, saying that he's only used to eating food made by her. Is she forgetting how that in the past seven years, Dev wouldn't even come home for days, or that he's pretty much indifferent to how food tastes anymore? And the fact that Golu had to explain to Ishwari about how she should let Dev spend time with Soha alone baffled me. Little Golu is only six years old, and he spelt it out for Ishwari about how  it is important for both, Soha and Dev, to spend quality time with each other. 

While i find it very irrational that Sonakshi and Dev are giving in to all of Soha's demands, part of me also believes that this is just for the time-being. By accepting all of Soha's demands, Dev is just trying to make up for lost time. By giving Soha everything she wants, Dev thinks that he'll be able to compensate for all the moments he's missed with her. Part of me even feels like he doesn't want her to have any problem in her childhood. He knows the value of being a child, and wants Soha to experience everything he did not. I feel like Sonakshi is giving in to everything Soha wants because Dev is giving in to it. Sonakshi is softening up to Dev, so she doesn't want him to feel like he can miss out on anything with Soha. It's definitely bad parenting, but it won't last for long.

Dev and Soha talking in the room was a scene which showed how in such little time, they had bonded with each other so well. We could see how much of a good change they brought about in each other. I loved how Soha told her father that he was way better than she had ever imagined him to be. Dev was ready to relive his childhood with Soha. When Sonakshi and Dev started dating each other, a part of me believed that their relationship was an emphasis on how Dev will be reliving his childhood with Sonakshi. For a while, we did see how he'd become a child around her, but this time it was different. This time, Dev was going to be a child again with his daughter. 

What I loved most about Dev and Soha's conversation was how he explained Bijoy's anger towards him to Soha. No blame games, no jokes, just straight talk, which is what was needed. "Maine aapki Mamma ko saat saal pehle bahot pareshaan kiya tha, hurt kiya tha. Isi liye aapke Dadu mujhse itna rude hain." He's accepted that he is to be blamed for the separation too. He's accepted the fact that there's no going back to the way things were. At this point, Dev just plays the bad boy that's expected of him by Bijoy. He's not interested in justifying his behavior in any way to anyone. Dev's only focus and priority is Soha. 

Sonakshi is all smiles every time Dev is alone with Soha. She can see how much Soha enjoys being with her Dad. The fact that she tells the guests, "Soha apne Papa ke saath hogi" and looks so happy to see him walk Soha down the stairs makes me immensely happy. 

"Main nahi hoti, tho aap log kahaan hote?"  True that, Soha. They would be two very lonely people without you. Dev, Soha and Sonakshi looked like a happy family, all cuddled up on one bed. When Dev started telling his story, it was hard to say who the six year old was, Soha or Sonakshi. Sonakshi was making the exact same expressions as Soha was while listening to Dev's story. Even when Dev praised Sonakshi's parenting skills by telling the sangeet guests that she raised their daughter to be independent. Small things like this between Dev and Sonakshi make my heart flutter with joy. 

No matter what Dev says or behaves like, he's always going to be the softie he always was. When he looks over at Sonakshi after seeing that Soha's fallen asleep, or when he changes the AC temperature to 26 because that's what Sonakshi wanted, or even how he goes and sleeps on the couch because Sonakshi was hesitant to sleep with him on the same bed. All these things make Dev the nicest person out there, they make him the Dev that Sonakshi had fallen in love with. 

I loved how there was no fuss made over the fact that Bijoy had non-veg food made at home. To be honest, every Indian house should have dal and rice. It wasn't a big deal to Dev, and I'm glad the writers didn't get Ishwari involved in all this, and kept it as a comic relief in the episode. It kind of annoyed me at first that Sonakshi was laughing when Bijoy asked Dev to go out and eat, but then when Dev didn't care about it, who am I to say anything. 

I agree that Ishwari shoudn't have come to the Bose house without informing Dev, but Bijoy shouldn't have insulted her for that. Not just her, Bijoy even insulted Golu, which was very unnecessary. Ishwari wasn't there to make conversation with the Boses, she was there to see Soha and Dev. While Ishwari was sitting there quietly, she didn't deserve to be insulted by Bijoy. Dev was angry at Bijoy's comment, and he had all the right to be. But Dev had no right to implicate a slap like gesture towards Bijoy. He apologized to Bijoy for his mom coming uninvited to their house, but for a second, it definitely looked like he was ready to physically show his anger. I really wish this wasn't shown because a 'slap' is a very sensitive issue in this show, and it shouldn't be shown if there's no need for it. 

I can't believe the fact that Ishwari didn't want Elena to go for her brother's wedding. Ishwari has repeatedly blamed Sonakshi for keeping Soha away from the Dixits, and here we have Ishwari who is keeping Elena away from her family. It amuses me as to how Ishwari can be so inconsiderate. 

I really want Elena to be a part of Sonakshi's life now. I loved the conversations between Elena and Sonakshi ever since Sonakshi started developing feelings for Dev. Elena has seen everything that Sonakshi went through pre-leap. Elena needs to know of her sister's troubled times in the past seven years. I'm really hoping we get to see Sonakshi-Elena scenes, just like we did in the initial days of the series. Who knows, their conversations may lead to the truth coming out.  

Asha and Dev's conversation showed that he's very comfortable in her presence. They both apologized for whatever happened earlier that day. I wish Dev didn't said 'Mr. Bose' after saying 'Baba.' I feel, Dev still considers them family, but will never accept it to anyone. When Dev asks Asha, "How do you tolerate him?" I don't think he meant anything bad by it. It was a legit question that we all had, how does Asha tolerate Bijoy? But here's the thing, Dev knows that Bijoy is the way he is because he's protective of Sonakshi, so I think it was a heat-of-the-moment comment that Dev made. As soon as he said it, he realized he shouldn't have, and apologized to Asha. Asha, being the calm person she is, did not have any reaction to it. I feel like she brushed it aside, not finding it important enough to forgive him, or even acknowledge the fact that he said it. 

The conversation between Asha and Sonakshi seemed so real. It seemed so real because my mom has had that exact same conversation with my sister and me. The way we see our fathers, that's not how our mothers see them. My mom has repeatedly told my sister and me that our dad is a great husband to her, but he wasn't like this the initial days of their marriage. Well, what my mom was trying to tell us was that no one becomes a great husband or wife the second they get married. It's a process of constant trust, support, compromises and love that makes you a good husband or wife. That's what Asha told Sonakshi. Sonakshi is no one to judge whether Bijoy is a good husband, and Asha is no one to judge Dev as a husband. 

"Tum mere Baba pe ungli kaise utha sakte ho? Tum toh ek achche husband bann hi nahi paaye" Sonakshi's anger towards Dev was understandable because she was looking at this situation from her perception. According to her, Dev failed at his duties of being a good husband. She wanted him to be like how her Baba is to her Maa. But Asha explained to Sonakshi that everyone's perception towards people is different. Sonakshi can comment on how good of a Baba Bijoy is, but she cannot comment on how good of a husband he is to Asha. 

That's the thing about Asha, she doesn't believe in blame games, she doesn't believe in saying that she's always right and the other is wrong, she doesn't believe in playing the 'bechari' part. She told Sonakshi that it wasn't just her who had to make adjustments to her new lifestyle after marriage, Bijoy also adjusted to Asha's likes and dislikes. "Mere mein bhi khaamiyaan rahi hongi aur tere Baba ne bhi kayi sare adjustments kiye honge…kyunki humare liye iss rishtey se badhkar kuch bhi nahi tha. Hum dono ne iss rishtey ko nibhane ki koshish ki aur nibhaya bhi." She told Sonakshi that what Dev said to Asha shouldn't impact what Sonakshi thinks of him. Dev's there just for Soha, and Asha even told Sonakshi what a great father Dev is. 

Giving up on a relationship is the easiest thing to do, but maintaining a relationship is one of the hardest things to do. My mother has said this to my sister and me several times; understanding, trust, and patience between a husband and wife is very important to keep the relationship going. Dev knows how to manage relationships, but give him more than one relationship at a time, and he doesn't know what to do. Right now, the only relationship that matters to him is the one he has with his daughter. Everyone and everything else is irrelevant to him. Sonakshi needs to understand that she needs to manage her relationship with Dev as Soha's father, and not as her ex-husband.

Dev's open confession of love was the highlight of the week. I found my cold-hearted self smiling and actually blushing. When Dev and Sonakshi were dating, she would always tell him how cheesy his talks were. But this speech was exactly like how Sonakshi would've liked it; cheesy enough to make her feel something. "Apni poori life mein maine sirf ek hi ladki se pyar kiya aur itna kiya ki shayad ye poori zindagi kam pad jaye lekin mera pyar kam nahi hoga. Woh mere liye kya hai, shaayad main lafzon mein bayaan bhi nahi kar sakta kyunki main usey mehsoos kar sakta hoon."We all know he meant it for Sonakshi. The way he walked towards her and the way they both were looking into each other's eyes was beautiful. 

Finally, Jatin's role is being put to good use. After Asha, he's the most sensible one on the show. "Ab mujhe pataa chalaa ke tujhe iss aadmi se itni mohabbat kyun ho gayi thi…Ekdum gussewala, paagal, super obodhro hai, lekin iska dil ekdum saaf hai. His heart is in the right place, Sona." Yup, Jatin is going to be the one to make Sonakshi (and hopefully Dev) a lot of things about their relationship.  

I think the Bose house was first chosen to stay in because the writers wanted to show us that no matter what happened, Dev will not feel like an outsider in Sonakshi's house. Bijoy may not welcome him with a garland, but he has accepted Sonakshi's decision to let Dev stay at the Bose house. This will not be the same in the Dixit house. Sonakshi will still feel uncomfortable there, and she will still feel like an outsider. The question here is, will Dev be firm with his family and tell them to accept that fact that Sonakshi is going to be staying in their house, no matter what. 

Something that we got to see this week was a subtle bond between Dev and Saurabh, especially when Saurabh calls Dev 'Jiju.' It was kind of weird, because Saurabh had never called him Jiju before. Hopefully this growing bond is of some importance in the future. 

My favorite part about the dhoti tying scene was how Sonakshi brought up their dating days by mentioning the gajra Dev bought and tied for her. Before Sonakshi mentioned the gajra, Dev was in a mood to annoy Sonakshi. But as soon as she did, Dev calmed down and pretty much surrendered to Sonakshi. In that moment, I think Dev realized that Sonakshi is also hanging on to the lovable memories from their past.  

The fact that there's always a comical background music playing whenever we see Dev and Bijoy interacting with each other shows that Bijoy will soon soften up on Dev. Bijoy even calls Dev 'Jamai Raja' a few times on the sangeet day. The real and major problem will arise when Sonakshi comes to the Dixit house and interacts with Ishwari. I'm sure we will see Bijoy being fully supportive of Dev and Sonakshi's decisions in the near future. 

And finally, here’s a tweet that made me really think about what Dev would do if he had a son instead of a daughter!