#his voice just does smth to me on metaphysical (is that the word?) and undescribable levels. it just /reaches/ me
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#today i thought about this a lot because#it was a veryyyy bad day noise wise#it goes up and down even if im generally easily disturbed by noise#but sometimes i feel more ok with it and can cope somewhat#but some days it is just extra bad and it is physically painful and im constantly stressed#today was one of those days where i almost just broke down and started screaming and crying#i managed not to. but god my upper body hurts a lot bc i get so tense and i cannot relax#all the CONSTANT noise is so painful lol#so yes i thought about it a lot today bc i was doing bad and i realized.. even if i already know#how like.. amazing it is that i can feel such a way .. and that in this existence a safe space for me does exist#his voice just does smth to me on metaphysical (is that the word?) and undescribable levels. it just /reaches/ me#it's so cool that i have physical reactions to just hearing the sound of his voice? i feel my heartbeat slow and my body relaxes and im like#idk how to explain but i feel soothed to my bones and my soul feels cradled. it's like his voice just erases everything else#i just think that is so amazing? like how can that be? how can i experience all of this inside of my existence?#im just in awe of how that can work. how this person's voice has such effects on my being. how it makes my hyper stressed body just feel#okay and calm and soft when i exist in the space of hearing his voice..#maybe i sound crazy :$ .. but thats just how i feel. like today when i was on a walk..#and omg it was noise overload it was crazy i felt my entire neck and throat and shoulders hurt so bad and i wanted to scream and rip my#hair out. i just kept imagining his voice and wanting to just be in that space and soothed state my body enters his voice alone puts me in#im not sure if thats weird or bad of me.. :c but thats just what happens!!! and selfishly i crave it!! i'd never be demanding or forceful#i have more than i couldve ever dreamed or asked for. i can listen and breathe and be ok. and i can imagine his voice too..#soft fluffy cloud that envelopes me.. maybe i *am* crazy or too intense but its just the truth#and ig what im trying to say it is that im infinitely thankful & grateful for this. that i can have felt this. & know it exists like wow??
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