#his views his choice of storytelling for ep3

[billkinspp]

as much as i'm anticipating ep4 i am more excited about the documentary ep this week. i wanna see billkin's take on teh's actions this ep and also BASICALLY EVERYTHING

[sol1056]

if you promise peaches, deliver peaches.

After S7, the asks have been piling up. A few examples:

I was so confused in ep4 when Acxa disappeared, I thought she’d stuck with the team after ep3 and maybe I just missed the scene where she left, but others have brought that up, too.

Funny how the majority of the problems in s7 are because they tried to force BP Keith to the detriment of the story, and ironically, Keith's story, too.

I thought Lance’s family reunion would be much more emotional and be a part of his arc, since he was the most homesick, but then they gave that to Hunk?

Shiro got tossed aside in the most ableist, racist, and homophobic way, and Allura could have had a cool storyline mixing her paladinship and her castle storyline with a new altean mecha, instead of Shiro becoming a bad Allura 2.0 and Keith becoming a bad Shiro 2.0.

Srsly tho, am I the only one who finds it extremely bothering that in writing Allura and Lance they don't bother to show Allura coming to view Lance in a romantic light after her breakup?

Why even bother in S6 to make such a big deal of Shiro/Kuron saying his dream is to be a paladin over and over? Until he was revealed a clone some of us thought he was Shiro, so it's even harder to accept Shiro not being BP anymore.

The EPs seem to be so stuck in their initial idea and salty they couldn’t do it exactly as they want that they just ignore the story itself?

The EPs have spoken of being determined to get the VLD gig out of fear it’d be given to someone who'd wreck the story. That's understandable, but we're talking about a 78-episode, six-season, space opera mecha series. This genre practically demands a sprawling world and a massive cast, and it's far beyond the scope of anything either JDS or LM have ever helmed on their own. 

My guess is that JDS and LM didn’t realize the enormity of what they were taking on, or they (and their bosses) seriously underestimated the degree to which they were wholly unprepared.

Behind the cut: what I meant when I said these EPs are not storytellers.

I’m not surprised the EPs over-estimated their skill, really. People will look at a creative process like art –- where you often start young, practice daily, maybe study it formally, apprentice or intern (especially in animation), and gradually work your way up -- and they see the effort. They know it wasn’t an overnight thing. 

Too often, the very same people won’t accord that respect to the art of storytelling. It’s treated like divine inspiration, something that just happens. We’ve been hearing and reading and watching stories all our lives; how hard can it be to do it ourselves?

It’s goddamn hard, is what it is. I would love to tell you otherwise, but that’s the truth. You can rock your dialogue but you gotta track character goals, too. Complicated backstories only get you so far if you don’t understand how to modulate tension. You can have a great premise but you still gotta resolve the damn thing. A story has a hundred moving parts; scale up to a space opera’s necessary levels of epic and we’re talking exponentially more.

In my experience, the hardest part of storytelling — not the technical aspects of writing, but the art of storytelling — is holding the shape of the story in your head. The entire thing, all at once. You have to, if you’re to see how a choice at this point will echo down the line, or a motif laid here should reflect there, how the theme shifts but stays true from start to end, how these secondary arcs weave together to undergird the main arc.

I’d say a lot of what we learn in our first few novels is how to see — and hold —the story’s shape in our head. I’m not talking dialogue or voice acting or choreography. I’m talking about the overall shape, the vision and theme it establishes, evolves, and eventually resolves.

If we cannot, we will find our stories promise peaches and deliver pine cones.

Looking back, there are too many clues --- almost all given by the EPs themselves --- that they didn't have the experience to do this story justice. What they did have was a certainty that their vision was the best, an inability to deviate from that one story they'd devised, and a continual low-grade frustration at being held back.

Let's go back to the beginning. S1 starts a little rocky (to be expected as a team finds its groove), but S2 builds on S1 quite deftly. It’s not perfect, but in a storytelling sense, it’s the strongest season, and it's much too self-assured to be a beginner’s. It moves swiftly but steadily to a pivotal midpoint, and from there snowballs gracefully into its finale; it balances nuanced characterization with plot movement, and its opening promises bear fruit by the end.

In those earliest interviews and panels, the EPs are often casually vague about basic details, like character ages or relationships. At least twice their answers change, giving the impression they hadn't known and had needed to confirm with someone else. Generally, though, they're low-key and hopeful, possibly leaning on the borrowed confidence of that other storyteller’s influence.

By S3/S4, their tone shifts to a peculiar kind of non-ownership. They joke about having no idea what's going on, tossing out guesses as though they'd be the last to know. They offer head canons, rather than insight. They wear their frustration openly, alluding to the story they'd wanted, chafing at what had been decided for them.

As the story moved into the split-seasons, it's clear that whomever lent that guiding hand in S1/S2 was no longer present. Someone else’s fingerprints are on S3, and my guess is it’s mostly Hedrick, at least on the script-level. The word choices change, the cadences change, the beats change. From S3 on, VLD has all the hallmarks of a muddy vision. 

You can see that in the story’s shape. It holds together, but barely. It darts forward, then sideways, then treads water for a bit. It’s erratically paced, dropping plot points and introducing new ones, only to drop those as well. It can’t settle on a driving antagonist, and when it finally does, it can't keep the antagonist’s goal consistent. It sacrifices nuance for one-note characterization, and shoves most substantiative character growth off-screen.

This continues to S6, which generally continues the focus on plot coupons over character goals, exposition at the cost of emotional beats, and neglecting established characters to introduce left-field swerves in the guise of plot twists. On the plus side, it does manage to rally enough to end its multi-season prevarication, and put to bed questions hanging around since late S3.

It's worth noting that both EPs have only a single writing credit each, for the pilot three-parter. That makes it doubly striking that JDS chose to write the Black Paladins episode. After the season aired, JDS complained in passing about rewrites on his episode. If that seems odd, remember that an EP has final approval on every script. If it bothered him to have his ideas rejected in favor of keeping Shiro, it must've burned to have his writing choices countermanded.

From the timing and the episode credits, this must've been around when Tim Hedrick left the team --- and the EPs took full ownership. 

It shows in their post-S6 interviews. Gone are the ambiguous expressions or vague promises of doing their best. Their wording is declarative: what Kuron had been, what Shiro would be, the resolution of Shiro’s illness, the nature of Shiro’s past relationship. None is equivocated, nor couched as head canons. They’ve taken control of the narrative, and their interpretation is now the deciding one.

This change was important enough to them that they had to make sure we’re aware. There’s simply no other reason to tell us S7 had been written in its entirety, let alone tell us the original outcome. Nor is there any other reason to tell us they petitioned for — and got — permission to rewrite.

When I look at S7 with my writer’s hat on, everything tells me this is where the brakes came off. With Hedrick’s departure, there was no one left but the EPs themselves to steer the story. By whatever means, for whatever reason, VLD went from a crafted vision, to a conflicted one, to none at all.

Set aside the larger controversies for a moment, and just think about the shape of S7. It’s almost three seasons in one: the first part skips from event to event, then abruptly timeskips to reset the entire playing field. That second part in turn is divided from the last half by a two-parter that halts momentum for an overlong flashback with an entirely new cast, followed by a finale that mostly backseats its protagonists in favor of letting that new cast dominate.

There’s a common pattern in the way beginner writers react to critique, and I see that all over the EPs’s responses, from the beginning. It’s only grown worse since S6. They can’t quite juggle the story they think they’re telling versus the story they’re actually telling.

I’ve had these conversations too many times to count. I ask, how did this character get from here to there? The newbie storyteller is quick to explain, usually in great detail. I ask, but then why did this happen? The more I dig, the greater the chance the newbie will get angry that I don’t seem to be reading the story they’re so obviously telling. If I keep pushing, they’ll get defensive.

They’ll confidently assure me this is exactly the story they’d intended to tell, and if I don’t like it, that’s my problem. (They may not be able to hold the shape in their head, but they’ve probably already taken to heart the adage that one must stay true to one’s ‘artistic’ vision. The part about listening to critique even when it’s uncomfortable… that takes a bit longer to learn.)

My reaction almost always boils down to: you’re telling me this amazing story, but that’s not the story you’ve actually written.

Sometimes the best description of the shape of a newbie’s story is that of a house after a tornado’s swept through: the front door is on the chimney, the roof is half-off, and the windows are shattered in the front yard. Most of the pieces are there, but it’s all so jumbled the newbie storyteller can’t see what’s missing. They can’t hold the shape of the story in their head, so even when they know here’s where something goes, they’re too overwhelmed to remember the door they need is still on the chimney.

An epic story is no cakewalk, and boy do I give credit for that effort, but it’s one thing to learn by noodling in a fandom on AO3. It’s quite another to do it at the scale of a television series, let alone one with the expected scope of a space opera spanning galaxies. This is not the place to learn as you go.

Here’s why the shape of the story — and holding that in your head — is so important. 

Think of a story’s resolution like a fresh peach. You want the reader to bite into the peach as the culmination of everything the story has been, from start to end. But you don’t get a peach by planting pine trees. You must start with the proper seeds, and make sure what grows is a peach tree, such that your final act bears the right fruit.

I touched on this before with the promise of the premise. Themes, backstories, world-building, and motifs are facets of the seeds planted in the first act. Everything you need to resolve the story must be present when the story begins; that’s where your premise lies, and your promises are made. 

Through the entire second act, the tree must grow. The storyteller’s task is to trim as needed, bind this to that, shore up the roots, add water and nurture: this is where the theme expands, the foreshadowing laid, the questions reveal answers that lead to further questions, narrowing the outcome, each outlining the tree’s shape in sharper detail.

By the time the story turns the corner into the third act, the readers should be reasonably certain they’re going to get a peach tree. This is not a bad thing! You want them looking forward to plucking the peach and enjoying it. You want everything planted at story-beginning to come to fruition, at story-end.

That is why you must hold the shape — the vision — in your head, always checking against where you began and where you plan to end. You cannot throw out the entire tree at the end of the second act and start over; if you ignore the fruit your story is producing and insist on serving up pine cones, you’re going to have confused and possibly angry readers.

You promised them peaches, damn it.

The story is now midway through the third act. Everything planted in the previous seasons must now be coming to fruition… but it won’t. The EPs are openly (even proudly) reversing course on everything that’s come before. That means directly violating every motif, every thematic element, every bit of foreshadowing in word, image, or sound.

And at the same time, the story’s scope is simply too vast, and they haven’t the experience to juggle all the thousands of moving parts. The result is the most slapdash season, yet. Characters simply drop out of sight, only to reappear again with no warning. Themes and motifs built up over so many episodes are tossed aside as if they mean nothing.

The hand-to-hand fights are visually striking — the EPs’ strengths are in storyboarding, after all — but emotionally hollow, bereft of dialogue that could finally give us closure. Characters that would’ve once spoken openly with each other barely exchange a word; character-distinct dialogue is uttered by someone else, as though the VAs mixed up the scripts in the recording booth.

To achieve the emotional heft required for a meaningful resolution, there must be echoes of the story’s beginning. But when the beginning is negated—underscored by a timeskip that resets the entire playing field—there’s nothing to refer back to. The events now are happening in a void, divorced from the themes and motifs that created the emotional context in the first place.

This is by design; the EPs’ vision has never matched with the story as it was told to this point. They can’t go back, so they’ve rebooted. Once with the timeskip, and again with a two-parter episode that introduces new characters that can be entirely their own. Compared to the protagonists, these secondary characters have been lavished with attention to the point of overload: full names, backstories, designs. All of of that, and the time required to introduce them is to the detriment of the actual protagonists.

Whatever story VLD ostensibly set out to tell, that story is gone, now.

This is no longer a matter of losing track of the story, such that the promised peaches have transmuted into pine trees. We passed that point somewhere in S6. The EPs have burnt down the orchard to plant new seeds, while doing their best to ignore the charred stump of the story we'd been promised.

I would've preferred peaches, myself. That was the story I was promised, and that was the fruit I expected from everything I saw onscreen. But now? 

I hope you like carrots.

[rawinternets]

Star Wars Episode 6: A rediscovery.

I’ve now reviewed Rogue One, Ep4, Ep5, all three prequels. It’s finally time to get back to the good stuff - Return of the Jedi. ROTJ is often cited as most people’s favorite from their childhood, but not necessarily on re-watch. Why? I was pretty sure I knew: it’s the shameless commercialism of the Ewoks, the derivative plotlines (another Death Star! More sneaking around Empire bases!) and so on. But truly, this movie is also very enjoyable. 

Upon re-reading my notes - there are far less of them, I think because I was actually into the movie again instead of analyzing everything. With Episode 1 and 2′s terrible dialogue and wooden acting and annoying plotlines, my brain was whizzing about, trying to understand just how these movies could be so bad. With Ep3, I felt myself analyzing how this film somehow *was* landing, and why it was different than the first two. With ROTJ, I got back to losing myself in the story, even though I was trying to remain conscious of the task at hand. 

While there are a couple lows (the Ewoks are mediocre at best as an adult-viewer, and George Lucas makes an inexcusable CGI addition to Jabba’s palace...), all in all this movie really fires. And what’s more - some of the most enthralling scenes in the entirety of the series occur here, and they don’t all include fighting and violence. I’m talking about the Emperor turning Luke. This is where the R1-4-5-1-2-3-6 order really works... we go from watching the Emperor turn Anakin in Ep3 right into the Emperor back at his old tricks with Luke. In both movies, the mind games and manipulation are really well done. I had many “Holy Shit!” 10-scene moments throughout ROTJ, mostly around the throne room, but prior to the climactic Vader redemption scene (which, surprisingly, was just OK). 

In fact, although this movie didn’t grade quite as high as Ep4 and Ep5, it has by far the most “10″ scenes, all of them (except “It’s a Trap!”) involving Luke and the Emperor in the build-up to the climax, when things are looking so grim for the rebellion and for Luke. Sure, I suppose I could have lumped more of these together, but each is so powerful on its own that I felt in the moment they deserved their own line items. 

Onto the scores. 

Average Score: 7.90 Standard deviation: 1.91

Scroll. 8. To the point and does the trick. 

Death Star and Vader. 9.  Beautiful new shot, with Death Star and Star Destroyer. The empire space visuals are so consistently amazing in this series. Great angry vader: “The Emperor does not share your optimism.” Great music. Great punchy scene.

Jabba’s Castle. 7. The big door is cool - C3PO sucks as always. Cool little eye in the peephole, and the big door opens. Pig guards are George Lucas trying too hard. Jabba is a pretty cool character. Luke wants to barter with him, there’s a little rat character that is fine, Solo is a wall decoration, and C3PO sucks again. Fine set of scenes. 

Jabba’s band. 1. George Lucas strikes again. He inserts a fully-CGI alien band, looking like a drunk person’s recollection of alien muppets, singing in a language that sounds like scat-man as a toddler. So unnecessary. Also, Jabba is rapey. 

Rancor eats a chick, Chewbacca, Lando in disguise. 6. I remember loving this whole Jabba sequence as a kid but it’s not really landing right now. The bounty hunter is Leia? Couldn’t they have sent someone less important? Han getting re-warmed is a cool visual. 

Han woken up. 6. Still can’t buy that they’d send Leia to rescue Han. Han’s blindness is kinda lame and the jokes are too. The Jabba sidekicks are also lame. Not loving this. 

Luke and the Rancor. 8. Luke falls into the Rancor pit and tries Jedi shit and it doesn’t work. But he’s clever and kills the Rancor. Pretty good job, pretty good scene. My roommate likes the crying monster. 

Sarlacc pit & Jabba’s ship. 6-8. Cool desert beasts, really cool desert ship. R2 as a cocktail waiter is funny. Luke: “Free us, or die.” And R2 shoots the lightsaber to Luke and the fighting begins. Lando cliffhangs, Boba Fett vs. Luke is cool, and Boba Fett dies an ignominious death (apparently in canon he actually survives). All in all, it’s a bit hokey and prequel-like, so I assume George had his grubby hands in here. Leia strangles Jabba, Luke flails away with the lightsaber looking really badly trained (in great contrast to the expertise of Ep3), and Lando kind of gets saved from the Sarlacc pit with a rifle. Some 6, some 8, hard to disentangle from my memories of the scene.

Emperor arrives at the Death Star. 9. Incredibly beautiful shots, great heft and foreshadowing. 

Yoda dies. 9.  “When 900 years old you reach, look as good, you will not.” Great line. Love Yoda - this version, not the Shaun-White-Parkour-Tasmanian-Devil lightsaber version. He tells Luke he’s not a Jedi yet, that he must face Vader. Not ready for the burden! Rushed to face him! Luke made a mistake! “Jedi strength flows from the force. Beware anger, fear, aggression. Dark side. Once you start down that path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Luke. Don't underestimate the Emperor.” Very good stuff from Yoda all around. And this part: there is another Skywalker!!! (but it never matters?) 

Obi-wan force ghost. 9. “Why didn’t you tell me?” “Vader did kill your father... from a certain point of view.” Luke must face Vader again, but Luke won’t... “Then the Emperor has already won.” And then of course... It’s Leia. 

Attack Prep. 7. “Many Bothans died to bring us this information.” I thought that line inspired Rogue One, but apparently not. Here we are again... a Death Star and a small crack team preparing to take it down. 

Emperor Confident. 8. Just another great punchy scene. 

Shuttle Tiberium. 9. Sneaking onto Endor to disable the DS’s shield... and we’re just like Rogue One again with the access codes. Vader on his Super Star Destroyer senses something... Good Chewy and Han tension. But Luke knows he’s endangering the mission. Vader is such a badass. 

Endor/Speeders. 9. The first thing I wrote for this scene was “C3PO SHUT THE F*** UP” but notwithstanding that outburst, this unique, gripping, and beautiful scene gets a great score. The Redwoods are recognizable to Northern Californians but few others, and as in real life, they are majestic and mysterious on film here. Amazing sound effects. The tension of possibly being outed by a patrolman is very high. Luke cuts off the front of a speeder with the lightsaber... so sweet. 

First Ewok. 8. Contrary to what you might remember, the Ewoks do not always suck. The first teddybear that finds Leia is kind of menacing. They avoid capture and make friends but it’s a pretty good scene. 

Vader and Emperor. 9. The Emperor is so damn badass.

Caught in Ewok trap. 5. More George Lucas Hijinx! Hokey. OK with Ewoks, not OK with C3PO becoming their God. 

In the Ewok village. 4. C3PO on the throne. Luke does force stuff. R2 shocks an Ewok and he does a stupid jump. Meh. 

C3PO telling Ewoks a story. 4. I guess the power of a story? They get help from the Ewoks. meh. 

Luke and Leia. 7. Luke has to face him. Decent scene between the two. 

Vader lands on Endor. 9. Beautiful shots here. Vader and Luke interaction. Search your feelings (again). "It is too late for me, son." Vulnerability there. A bit of foreshadowing. I like!

Shield generator attack begins. 7.  A little cheesy that the Ewok grabs the speeder and we do the chasing again, but I guess it serves the plot.

The rebel forces amass. 9. The rebel fleet is amazing. Very pretty. In retrospect (fore-spect?) the heterogeneous fleet reminds of Battlestar Galactica. 

Luke meets the Emperor. 10. Shit! Things sound very bad! 

Shield Generator Fail. 8. Uh oh! 

It’s a Trap! 10.  This all happens so fast, last two scenes and then this. Great music, great twist moment. Totally unforeseen. Admiral Ackbar gets his moment and forever becomes an internet meme and a real world reference. This space battle is intense.

Emperor turning Luke. 10.  Emperor seems to have all the cards. "it is your destiny."

Ewok's revenge. 7.  Mmmmmm. Actually not as bad as I remember because the Ewoks are a bit dangerous, even if primitive. OK, some dumb shit. Swinging ropes like tarzan, flying around with wings and dropping rocks. Self-hitting. Decent physical humor but also meh. Decent job with the emotional Ewok friends death.

Fully operational! 10.  Fuuuuuck! The Emperor is smart! Shit! Scene is a 9, but gets a 10 because of importance.

Luke tries to kill emperor. 10. Such a mindfuck. Pretty amazing.

End of the endor battle. 7. Meh. It’s fine. 

Luke and Darth fight. 10.  Let the hate flow through you.

Luke and Darth fight 2. 10.  Luke tries to hide and not fight.  "Your thoughts betray you. Sister! Twin sister. You have betrayed her too.” Stilted dialogue. Luke's love for Leia gives him power. Very much like Darth in the prequels. Darth’s hand cutoff. Fantastic music. Emperor: “Your hate has made you powerful. Fulfill your destiny.” He thinks back to his own hand destroyed and how he is like his father. Really great storytelling.

Attack on the death star. 8.  These visuals are really cool. But it’s a bit ridiculous to fly through the Death Star with a ship as big as the Millennium Falcon. I mean, the first DS was destroyed by a torpedo going down a tube not more than a meter wide... why would they engineer this thing to have a corridor wide enough for fighters to fly through, and right to the core reactor which will blow the entire thing up? 

Darth turns back. 9. It’s such a big moment, but is it actually well done? Emperor: "you will pay the price for your lack of vision." "Noooooo!" Hmmmm. it was great but it wasn't a 10. A bit hokey on the script. Why not cut the Emperor in half with a lightsaber? We’ve seen Jedi defy gravity before, why not assume he will survive? 

Anakin dies. Luke escapes. 8. “Take off the mask. you already saved me. Tell your sister you were right.” Great musical choices.

Han and Leia kiss. 7. Meh, it’s fine. 

Celebrations. 9. Good reunions and happy stuff. A bit cheesy but pretty good. 

Anakin/Darth funeral. 9. Pretty emotional. Pretty good. 

Credits. 7. WTF with this music choice. 

VERDICT: Things that will stick with me include: speeders, Emperor, and the Sarlacc pit. Speeders and Emperor are just awesome. Sarlacc pit was fine but memorable. This movie is entertaining, and yet, the most blockbuster-y of the original three, and that doesn’t sit as well with me at the end. But did I enjoy it? Surely and absolutely, yes, I did. ROTJ has far and away the most amounts of 9′s and 10′s of any of the films... only a few missteps keep it from being crowned as the best film in the franchise. 

REVIEW LINKS:

Introduction: Star Wars, a rediscovery.

Rogue One: 6.92 / 10.00 (stdev 2.06).

Episode 4: A New Hope. 8.00 / 10.00 (stdev 1.34).

Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back. 8.00 / 10.00 (stdev 1.29).

Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. 5.00 / 10.00 (stdev 2.08). But probably worse than that, actually.

Episode 2: Attack of the Clones. 5.48 / 10.00 (stdev 2.07).

Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith. 7.00 / 10.00 (stdev 1.77).

Episode 6: Return of the Jedi. 7.90 / 10.00 (stdev 1.91).

Episode 7: The Force Awakens. 6.57 / 10.00 (stdev 2.01).

Episode 8: The Last Jedi. 6.31 / 10.00 (stdev 1.89).

Verdict: Star Wars, A rediscovery.