#his technique might be bad I can’t tell I’ve skied once in my life

[lo-55]

Shattered Chains of Fate Ch. 15

A Lifting Fog

Ichigo sat patiently on the cot while Unohana poked and prodded him. He didn’t have a lot of injuries left. Mostly scrapes and bruises, but she was taking a very close look at his eyes, balance, and short term memory. .

Apparently laughing hysterically at the murder of 46 people was a sign of head trauma.

“You don’t seem to have any lasting damage,” she finally concluded. “Most of the injuries you sustained earlier have already healed.”

“That’s Hanataro,” Ichigo says with a smile. It fell quickly. “I mean, uh. I threatened him into helping me. He’s very talented.”

Unohana looked faintly amused under her serenity. “Of course you did. I’m sure you held your zanpakuto so close to his throat he couldn’t even use his shinten to knock you unconscious.”

Ichigo nodded solemnly. “Oh, yeah. Definitely. But anyways, I’m fine. Is Rukia doing better? She was really wiped out…”

“Both of Kuchiki’s are fine. I believe they’ve had a long overdue discussion, actually. That technique you used when she was fighting was certainly… unique. Who taught it to you?”

Ichigo considered his answers before he decided to tell her the truth. They were allies for now.

“I made it up on the spot.”

“You made it up one the spot.” She repeated. One eyebrow arched high. She looked young, but when she’d healed the last of his bad injuries up earlier he’d felt the dangerous undercurrent of her power. She was at least as old as Yamamoto. It was only a shiver of fear at the idea of calling her old that kept him from asking her the same question he’d asked him.  “You really are a very unique person, aren’t you?”

“It’s not that impressive,” Ichigo argued. He could feel his face turning red. “I did something similar as a human. I just pushed my energy into her. Although, as a human I could kinda heal with it…”

“Yes, that’s similar to how healing kido works,” she mused. “ Kaido is a method we use to insert our own energy inside of the body and manipulate the spirit particles, the reishi, that make up the body of the patient so we can put them back together again.”

“That makes sense,” Ichigo taps his fingers on his leg idly. His brows furrowed. With his mystic codes he’d been able to heal grievous wounds and keep people fighting, but he’d never been very good at doing it without. He could make due, he had with Uryu, but that was just jumping his natural healing into overdrive.

Ichigo looked up at her. “I get that I was your enemy not that long ago,” began the boy, “But is there a way for me to learn to heal while I’m here?”

Unohana looked surprised. “You want to heal? I was under the impression that your expertise was in combat.”

“It is,” Ichigo said honestly. “Orihime is a good healer, better than almost anyone I’ve ever seen. But we got seperated here. If it wasn’t for Hanataro, I might have been seriously screwed. Or I might have been fine, but Ganju could have been hurt. A lot of people could have been hurt. And what I can do is very basic. Humans have to study for years to be able to-”

“Yes,” she stepped in, holding up a hand to cut off his rampant justification. Ichigo couldn't help noticing the callouses on her palms and fingers. She was a fighter. She also smiled at him. “ I can teach you.”

Ichigo offered her a half of a grin. “Just so you know, I suck at spellwork.”

“I’m sure we can make due. Now, I’m going to clear you. Please behave while you’re in my division.”

Her smile turned tight at the edges and her eyes narrowed minutely. Fear shot striaght down his spine.

“Y-yes ma-am!” He said quickly. He made his escape quickly. He still wanted to see Rukia, and find out what her and her brother had been talking about. Of all the people to try to step in and protect them he could scarcely believe it was Byakuya. Maybe he’d misjudged him?

Or more likely he’d smacked some sense into him.

Typical.

Ichigo was just trying to figure out how to navigate his way out when he stumbled into someone. Which was weird, because he should have really felt them coming.

Pink kimono, straw had, wavy brown hair.

“Oh. Kyoraku, hey,” Ichigo waved at him.

The man smiled at him. He’d barely had any malice to him the last time they’d met, and now any he’d had ever is vanished behind a kind smile. His assistant, Nanao if Ichigo remembered right, was missing for once.

“Ichigo. It’s good to see you again.”

“You too,” Ichigo nodded to him. “What are you doing here? You didn’t get too banged up, did you?” He’d been worried. Those two had spirited away a man born before the human era, one who Ichigo had been informed was the strongest person in the Seireitei.

Ichigo had picked a fight with the strongest person in the entire dimension. And then started lecturing him on his morality.

  That... sounds right.  

“Just a few bruises,” Kyoraku clapped him on the shoulder and forcefully guided him down the hallway. “I’m here visiting Juushiro. Come along.”

It really wasn’t a question. Ichigo shot him a glower.

“I’m not a dog, you know.”

“Really? You look a little mangy…”

Ichigo elbowed him in the ribs. “Fuck you. Speaking of dogs, is that one guy okay? The werewolf.”

“Werewolf? You mean Komamura? He was in nasty shape, but he’ll recover. He’s a few doors down if you want to introduce yourself properly.”

“...Nah. I don’t think I should. He seemed pretty torn up about the whole betrayal thing and I was kinda just an enemy. It doesn’t really, I guess, feel right?” He struggled to find the right words. Even if he wasn’t the most eloquent, Kyoraku nodded along with him sympathetically.

“Anyways. You said you were here visiting Juushiro, like Ukitake? What happened? You don’t look charred around the edges.” Ichigo gave him a critical once over.

Kyoraku snickered at him and they entered a room. A private hospital room, where Ukitake was sitting up in the bed. Ichigo hadn’t noticed before, he’d been too busy assessing the man’s energy and fighting for his life and Rukia’s, but Ukitake was actually very thin. His wrist bones were too prominent, his cheeks were too thin, and with the low drop the hospital provided robes he could see his collar bones starkly.

If he was this strong sick, how strong would he be normally?

If ‘Ukitake notices Ichigo’s critical once over, he says nothing about it. Only smiles when they get closer.

“Well this is certainly a surprise. Kurosaki, it’s good to see you.”

“Just Ichigo is fine,” he waves his hand. “You helped me after all, and none of my friends call me by my last name.”

“Friends,” Ukitake repeats. His green eyes gentled. “Why don’t you sit for a while with us then. We were just visiting today.”

Ichigo doesn’t know what to do with the way they’re both looking at him. It’s friendly and kind but there’s something else there. Like they’re trying to see where his sharp edges are and where he folds and what will make him change his mind.

To be fair, they’d been enemies before.

Ichigo pulls up a chair and flips it around so he can straddle it and cross his arms over the back.

“How are you, Ichigo? We heard you didn’t very torn up during your confrontation with Aizen.”

“I’m fine. He had me locked in a kido for most of the fight. The worst things I had were some burns from where I broke out of it. Unohana took care of it for me. She’s… nice. Terrifying, but nice.”

“You asked about Ereshkigal before,” Ukitake pointed out. “Why did you-”

Whatever else he was going to say was cut off by a rough coughing fit. Ichigo lurched for him immediately, with Kyoraku only twitching forwards before grabbing the water off the bedside table.

They waited for the coughing to slow down, a full minute later, before Kyoraku gave him the glass. Ichigo was frowning at him.

“Are you okay?” He asked, once he was done with the water. Ukitake nods and smiles crookedly.

“It’s been a frequent occurrence for most of my life, I’m afraid. Even Unohana can’t do anything about it. It’ll go away in a few days, I’m sure.”

Ichigo frowns at him, but nods all the same. A chronic cough could be about a billion things. If it started as a kid that might mean less. Honestly Ichigo is trained for field medicine. Emergencies and stopping bleeding. This kind of thing is beyond him.

Still, he grew up next to a family clinic.

“Have you ever tried human medicine?” he asks. Ukitake looks surprised, but shakes his head the negative.

“No. I can’t say I have. As I understand it isn’t always very effective.”

“Maybe not a couple hundred years ago,” he admits, thinking of battlefields and field hospitals, and how hard Nightingale had had to work to get people to wash their damn hands. “But it’s come a long way recently. Maybe you should give it a try? My dad and Uryu’s both run medical facilities.”

Ukitake eyes him for a long moment, the mention of his father catching his attention. Finally, he nods.

“I may look into that. Thank you.”

The conversation moves on, Ereshkigal forgotten under the feeling that Ichigo had just fucked himself somehow.

* *

Ichigo opened his eyes to grey skies and an amalgamated landscape.

Zangetsu and Nieve were leaning over him, one of them clearly irritated and the other just as calm looking as ever.

“Uh. Hi?”

“It’s about damn time!” Nieve barked at him. Ichigo sat up, slowly, and then stood. It still felt weird to be standing up on the side of a building like this. It was completely unnatural.

“Time for what? I’ve been busy, and I can’t just pop in here whenever I want you know. In case you missed it I’m still in potential enemy territory. I keep expecting to be arrested, whether they say I saved them from something or not. Which, again, I really didn’t. I didn’t even help them unearth that coup! It’s fucking stupid.”

“Are ya done yet?” Nieve asked, his arms crossed over his chest.

“... Not even remotely, but go ahead.”

“Good. We’re bored in here and you’re an emotional disaster-”

“Hey!”

“-in the making. Just look at the sky!”

Ichigo did. It was grey, and cloudy this time.

“What does the weather have to do with anything?”

“The weather,” Zangetsu said in his deep, smooth voice, “is a reflection of you, as all things here are. It reflects your emotions. When you’re sad, it rains here.”

“And ya  are sad,” Nieve poked in.

Ichigo scowled at the both of them. “Yeah so what if I am? I just found out one of my friends is now an enemy, a traitor, and I don’t even know what else right now! I lost my chance to talk to him because I hesitated, and now he’s gone full megalomaniac and he’s going to go overthrow the king.”

He paused.

“Not that I’m against that part. But I like some of these shinigami. I don’t want to see them go to war with him over a king that doesn’t give a rats left tit about any of them.”

“Next time you shouldn’t hesitate,” Zangetsu said wisely. Ichigo nearly hit him.

“What next time?! How many friends do you think I have that forgot we knew each other two hundred years ago in a timeline that’s been erased because it was the end of the world?!”

“At least three,” nieve said without missing a beat. “Maybe four.”

“Okay you know what,” Ichigo pointed at him. “I’ve decided, I don’t like you.”

“No shit? I wonder why,” he rolled his yellow eyes.

“What’s that supposed to mean, huh?” Ichigo barked. It felt good though, to speak so openly with people who already knew everything about him. How messed up was it that his best conversation basically happened with himself? He stalked toward nieve, “How did you even get here, huh? I was too busy to care before but I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to have a hollow in my head. That is what you are, isn’t it?”

Nieve froze for just a second, like he’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He collected himself a second later with a loud scoff and a laugh in Ichigo’s face.

“If you wanna know so bad, maybe you should ask that shop keeper. He seems to be tied up in everything else bullshit in your life.”

“Okay. So maybe he is. I’m not asking him.” Ichigo stalked forwards, effectively cornering a piece of himself against a part of a sky scraper. “I’m asking you. You were pissed that I wasn’t listening to you before. Well I’m listening now, aren’t I?”

“I-” Nieve looked over Ichigo’s shoulder at Zangetsu. “I can’t tell ya, partner.”

“Can’t, or won’t?”

“Can’t!” He snapped, glaring over Ichigo’s shoulder.

When Ichigo looked over it, Zangetsu was gone, and when he looked back Nieve was too.

* * *

Ichigo was getting really, really sick of running for his life. Shoudln’t the return home have been easier than the journey to get there?

It wasn’t, and the only thing that saved the five of them from tipping headfirst onto concrete was a timely save from Urahara.

Who apparently had a flying carpet.

Because why not.

He’s not even surprised anymore.

He catches the look in Urahara’s eyes when the man starts to turn around, but Ichigo catches his shoulder before he can do whatever he was planning on doing.

“You know where everyone lives, right?” he asks, perhaps a touch too quickly. “Once everyone’s been dropped off, I wanna talk to you.”

The others are silent. Urahara regards him from under the shadow of his hat before agreeing quietly.

Ichigo bids fond farewell to his friends and sort-of-cousin before their ride takes them back to the little shop that Urahara runs. They touch down in front and walk inside, with the blond in the lead. As soon as they are inside everyone else, even Yoruichi, makes themselves scarce.

Urahara takes Ichigo into one of the back rooms before he sweeps his hat off his head and kneels on the ground before him.  

It makes Ichigo's stomach twist in discomfort.

“I know by now you heard about me. I’m really, very sorry.” It’s the most genuine the man has ever sounded to Ichigo’s ears. Some of the last threads of anger melt away.

He drops to one knee in front of Urahara and knocks his head lightly with his knuckles.

“Cut that out. I’m barely even mad at you, you know.” Now that he’s had a few days to cool his temper.

“You should be,” Urahara looked up at him, his grey eyes searching and weary.

Ichigo shrugged. “I don’t really hold grudges. If anything, you should apologize to Rukia for putting her in harms way. You were trying to do the right thing, weren’t you? And the reason you didn’t tell me anything… It was because you thought I’d run off, wasn’t it?”

“That’s right. Can you honestly tell you wouldn’t have?”

“Yeah,” Ichigo stood up. “I can. If nothing else I would have still needed you to get that gate open. And I don’t run so easy, even from shady shop keepers. Now,” He offered Urahara a hand. “If you’re really that contrite you can make it up to me.”

Urahara eyed his hand before he took it and let Ichigo pull him to his feet. His hat found its rightful home.

“And would that entail, exactly?”

“Two things,” Ichigo held up two fingers. “One; next time you need my help for something, just tell me outright what’s going on. And two; I have two questions that I’d like the absolute truth to.”

“That seems fair. What’s the question?”

“In october, 1888, did you go to the human world?”

Urahara fell silent. He stared at Ichigo for a long, hard minute before he nodded once. “I did.”

Ichigo thought as much.

“Is that when you discovered your Hogyoku?”

Urahara looked like he’d been slapped with a living lobster.

“How could you possibly know that?” he asked, stepping right into Ichigo’s space. “I told everyone that I created it. Did Aizen-”

“He didn’t tell me,” Ichigo planted his hand on Urahara’s chest to keep him from coming in closer. “There were things happening in 1888 in the human world. Things that Chaldea was involved in.”

He hesitated.

“Things that I was involved in.”

Ichigo could see the gears turning in Urahara’s head. He was too smart for his own good.

“That’s impossible. Humans don’t live that long. You were only born a couple of decades ago.”

“Nothing is ever impossible,” Ichigo said frankly.

Urahara’s eyes narrowed minutely. “This has something to do with those friends of your Kon found, doesn’t it?”

Now it was Ichigo’s turn to stare at him. “Huh?”

Urahara changed on a dime. He snapped his fan open over his mouth and shadowed his eyes under his hat. “So you’re not omnipotent. I was worried for a minute there Ichigo!”

“Wouldn’t it be omnipresent? Or omniscient?” He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. What were you talking about? What friends?”

“Not until you tell me how you knew about 1888. Everyone else I’ve ever told anything about the Hogyoku to I’ve always said I created it. Not discovered it. So it’s only fair for you to tell me,” he sang.

Ichigo scowled at him. “Would you cut that shit out? You’re so weird. Whatever, I’ll find out on my own.”

“Ichigo-”

“I’ll see you around, Kisuke.”

Ichigo gave his chest a light shove to get past him. Urahara didn’t try to stop him, for which he was grateful. He had too much on his mind. Was he really about to tell a guy he knew had played him like a fiddle once already a truth he’d never admitted to anyone who hadn’t been there with him?

Fuck, what was wrong with him?

He fled the shoten and made his way home under the pale light of the moon. When he carefully stepped through the front door (a trick he would never get used to ) he froze entirely.

In the living room, sleeping on the couch and up against a chair respectively, were two people he thought he’d never see again.

Medusa and Cu Chulainn.

He sprinted up the stairs as fast as he could move and without even a how-do-you-do to Kon he launched the mod soul out of his body and shoved himself inside of it. He left Kon sitting on his pillow before he bolted back down the stairs on light feet and skidded into the living room.

It was still enough noise and movement to have both of the legends up on their feet.

He stood there for a long beat, out of breath, eyes wild and bright.

“Ichigo?” Cu asked, slowly standing. They were both dressed like normal people. “Is that..?”

“It’s him,” was all Medusa said before decking him in the face.

Ichigo stumbled back but didn’t fall. He looked between the two of them. It was hard to see, his eyes were all blurry. How weird.

“You fool. You went rushing into danger without us,” she hissed. Her hair moved restlessly but he knew it was worry more than anger.

“Sorry, Medusa. I didn’t know you would be here. I still don’t. How are you here?” He searched her face. He touched his jaw. “I know I didn’t summon you.”

Cu touched his hand and turned it over so he could the red wings spread across the back of it. Command seals.

“You’re little friend did, using your body for it. We are yours again, master,” Cu said quietly. He didn’t move away when Ichigo’s head fell against his shoulders and when Ichigo’s hands started shaking Medusa’s arm draped over his shoulders.

“How?” He asked quietly. “Chealdeas and the grails supported eighty percent of your mana consumption. I thought there was no way anyone could support a servant outside of Grail Wars.”

“Ichigo,” Cu sounded amused. “How many of us did you have in Chealdeas?”

“Huh? I don’t know. Forty, fifty total?” He hadn’t been close with all of them, but there had been plenty of them.

“Right. So twenty percent of thirty servants equals the full upkeep of at least eight servants. Ichigo. You could have had us with you the entire time.”

Ichigo choked.

He’d been swallowing grief for so long, and he’d never had to.

Nimble fingers pulled through his bright hair.

“We’re here now. And there’s one more waiting for you. Kon didn’t have the fine control to summon someone so rawly powerful. But you do.”

“Tomorrow,” Medusa said firmly. “Tomorrow you can summon him, and tell us about your newest adventure. And,” her hair hissed with her, “You will take us with you on whatever your next one is.”

“Can I even do that? What I’m doing now is basically what Kyo was doing in North America. I know you have spirit forms, but that’s different from human souls. That’s-”

“I’ve never known you to think too much,” Cu mused. “You’re a creature of instinct, aren’t you? Rest. We’ll work it out.”

Ichigo still had questions, but he was such an emotional wreck he didn’t have it in him to fight when the pair bullied him up the stairs and into his old room. The bed was too soft.

The three of them camped out on the floor.

* * * *

Ichigo found, much to his amazement and amusement, that Medusa had basically adopted his sisters while he was gone.

She and Cu had told Isshin that they were Ichigo’s friends from Chaldeas and he’d agreed (much too easily) to let them stay in the livingroom while they were looking for a place to stay. Medusa explained that they’d been guarding his body for him as well.

The entire morning Ichigo felt warm and almost bubbling with excitement. He helped Karin with the table while Medusa and Yuzu puttered around the kitchen and Cu fed birds on the back porch.

It was the most surreal day of his entire life.

The trio left after breakfast and made their way towards Ichigo’s house. Once they were far enough to be overheard, Ichigo started to talk.

“Okay, so how do you expect to help me with what I’m doing now?”

“Well. You know that all heroic spirits have a physical form and a spirit form, yes?”

“Yeah. And that your spirit form isn’t the same as being an actual spirit, since your souls aren’t bound the way regular ones are. Instead of being a part of the cycle of reincarnation or the World, or even the time axis you’re connected to the Throne of heroes, and you manifest through a thaumaturgical anchor. In this case, me.”

“Yes. And it’s because you are our anchor that we’ll be able to do this. Any normal humans we would only be able to interact with them the way a regular human would,” Cu said cheerfully. “You leak power like a broken pipe. You always have. When we were in North America your influence started to take hold. You engraved a part of yourself on our souls, Ichigo. We can see the dead, we can interact with them.”

“We’re supposed to forget,” Medusa said suddenly. “We’re supposed to forget the events of Grail Wars we’re summoned to when we go back to the Throne. But you. You we remember. We all remember. You’re really something, Master.”

“Stop calling me that,” he said automatically, even while his mind turned over the information. He admitted to them. “I never knew I’d be fighting ghosts. I never thought anything like this would happen.”

“I doubt even that trouble maker Merlin could foresee this,” Cu laughed at him. Ichigo elbows his side.

“Quiet you.”

“Am I wrong?”

“... not even remotely. But he gave me back the two of your so I feel like I should be a little nicer to him than normal.”

Cu laughed at him again.

It was interesting, seeing the two of them outside of a war zone and outside of Chaldeas Cu was relaxed in a hawaiian shirt, with his silver earrings glinting in the mid-morning sunlight. Medusa looked smart in a black turtleneck with her hair braided back tightly.

The three made quite a sight.

They were about to make an even weirder one.

Ichigo let them into his house and headed for the basement, flanked on either side. He touched up the magic circle and gathered up two stones in the middle. One grey, one red.

“Is this a piece of your spear?” Ichigo asked, holding it up to Cu.

“A piece of an earring, actually.”

Ichigo’s fingers ran over the rune engraved in it.

“So it is. And this is a piece of your artwork right?” He held the grey stone up to Medusa, who smiled and nodded. That was morbid. Ichigo went to the cardboard box sitting on the table. The one he’d abandoned in his internal crisis. If he’d just opened his damn mail he could have taken Seireitei without any trouble at all.

“If I switch to my own spirit form, will you still be able to draw on my power?”

Cu hummed. “Normally I would say no. In your case? Probably.”

“Lucky me,” Ichigo said. For once he actually meant it.

He pulled out a soft orange scarf. It was tattered and torn, and utterly ancient. Over 3000 years old.

Ichigo laid it down delicately in the middle of the circle and stepped back. Medusa handed him a knife. He cut his palm across an old scar and stepped to the edge of the circle where he held his fist out and over the chalk circle. Blue light crawled across the floor and raced along the edges where it crackled and sparked.

“Let silver and steel be the essence. Let stone and the archduke of contracts be the foundation. Fill, fill, fill, fill, fill. Repeat five times and after each is filled, destroy it,” The blue light turned red and lashed upwards.

“I shall become all the goodness of the heaven’s. I shall embody all evils of hell. My will creates your body, and your sword cleaves my destiny. If you obey this will and reason, heed my call! Let shut the four cardinal gates and open the three-forked road winding to the Root. Appear now, thou Guardian of the Scales.”  

Romani had told him once that each war used a different summoning chant in their rituals. Participants and factions tailored their to specific desires, ancestors, and faction colors in some cases. Ichigo’s was an amalgamation of a half a dozen.

It worked. Ichigo could feel the energy of life swelling up under his skin and filling his magic circuits as he drew it out of the planet and into himself. He was a conduit. The mana of the world rolled through his veins.

He poured it through the circle, filling it until the limits were fit to burst. His blood sang with power.

The light grew, rolling over and over until it was too bright to see beyond it.

Ichigo felt the world give way and shift as the atmosphere made room for someone new. Someone powerful.

“I ask you,” came a familiar voice, “Are you my master?”

“I ask you; stop calling me that already.”

The light parted light a curtain and Ichigo found himself yanked into a sudden, strong embrace. Powerful hands clapped his back firmly.

“I thought I heard your voice!”

“You said you would come whenever I called. No matter where or-”

“When, I remember. I do keep my promises when I’m able to, master.”

“I swear to god,” Ichigo smacked him and shoved the servant away. Green hair, tanned skin.

Achilles grinned down at him.

* * * * *

Before Kyo, before America, before the dark circle was printed on Ichigo’s chest, he stood in a city bathed in fog.  

It was thick and filled with the scent of sorrow.

From the second they landed they were in a fight. Dolls, a strange girl in armor, and homunculi. It was after the last one that Ichigo finally decided they needed to find a base of operations.

Ichigo touched Mash’s shoulder gently. “Let’s get a move on.”

There was something bothering her. She wouldn’t say what. She blamed it on the environment, but Ichigo had known her too long to buy into that.

They get blitzed by a servant before they can find a safe place to hunker down, but just as soon as the fight is over Ichigo forgets what they look like. Mash and Romani are the same. It’s a frightening power. How can they fight someone if they can’t remember anything about them as soon as they’re gone from sight?

They need back up. They need to find a Ley Line so he can summon Cu and Medusa to help them.

Help comes in the form of a brash spitfire of a blonde in knights armor. The same strange girl they’d met earlier.

Her name is Mordred, a knight of the round table. She has a safehouse, and a doctor.

There’s something about Jekyll that makes Ichigo’s skin prickle. He’s a sweet faced young man, with kind green eyes, but there’s something dangerous about him.

Ichigo peers out the window while he gently chides Mordred for revealing her name. The streets are full of ghosts here, that walk uninhibited and forlorn in the mists.

There’s a lot of blondes in this city.

* * * * * *

[darkestwolfx]

Home on the Range - Re-Review #47

Just a quick note to say, I know I am super behind on replying to everyone! I will aim to go and do that now! Thank you all so so much though, I really do appreciate it. Hopefully work will slow down in a bit and I can be a little more active here.

Anyhow, let’s move onto how awesome this little house is!

Of course International Rescue have a training zone. The Gecko Gloves sound pretty useful as well. Gordon could have done with them in ‘Weather or Not’.

“Maybe I should take the lead for a change?”

“Actually, that’s not a bad idea.”

“Hey- What are you doing? That’s not what I had in mind!”

“Me next!”

Of course they’re the sort of brother’s that work together to throw each other around. That little look between Scott and Virgil was priceless. They really are a dream team.

“MAX, go and shake things up a little bit.”

Key word there MAX being “little”, not deathly. Seriously, you nearly took out three brothers!

“I can’t! He’s out of control!”

And that is the harbinger of doom for this episode.

Virgil saving Scott like a good brother.

And I love how Gordon somehow managed to make it all the way to the top!

Also, maneuver 17? We haven’t heard of it before, but they know what it means, and good for it too or we might have been spending a full twenty-two minutes looking at this wall of death.

“What a lovely place! I can see why you come here every year.”

“Nice hof your Father, to build this little ‘ome haway from ‘ome.”

A perfect sentence to give to Parker.

“Actually the Ranch belonged to the boys Mother. It’s been in her family for generations.”

A hint of Lucille! How lovely.

You know when you turn the TV on and you’re sorely disappointed? Yeah, Gordon was the epitome of that!

“Uhh, it’s her again! How many times do they have to play this thing?”

Her being Kat Cavanough - reporter from ‘Falling Skies’.

And more hints of Lucille!

“Do you remember when Mom used to take us all horseback riding?”

“Especially when Gordon was facing the wrong way. I think there’s a picture here somewhere.”

“I don’t really have much to add to the conversation.”

This is such a sweet moment! Of course Alan is younger and doesn’t have the same memories. Must be hard though, to be surrounded by brother’s who can have a conversation you can’t join in with.

Alan going out to watch Shadows take off was adorable! I mean, this episode really felt like they were trying to push Kayo and Alan, but then... I don’t really know what happened with TAG love interest story lines, save Penelope and Gordon.

“Sherbet, wait here and... guard FAB One.”

I love how the guarding idea was an afterthought, but Bertie takes it seriously! Parker and Lady Penelope having hard hats as well was genius.

“Seems hare hintruder ‘as vanished hinto thin hair.”

And sit on a rock Parker... anyone else getting flashbacks to ‘Tunnels of Time’? Just don’t touch anything, Parker. Although he did help them to find Kat! Really, what was she trying to achieve, silly woman.

A full family team up! Here we go.

“Thunderbirds are- Oh come on!”

Best launch ever. Just putting it out there.

P.S. Don’t look so down Scott.

“So, if all our ships are grounded, how are we going to get to the rescue site?”

“Fortunately, we still have some vehicles that are completely self-contained.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me! We’re actually taking Dad’s old hoverbikes?”

“They’re like the oldest things in here.”

“If these get us where we need to go then they’re gonna be our new favourite rides.”

They took a bit of ‘Jeff Tracy Fixing’ but they did actually work!

“Thunderbirds are go.”

Sort of.

It’s the old hoverbikes! The original get-around vehicles of TOS, seen in a great many episodes! They look a bit worse for wear here though, but hey.

“Since EOS isn’t affected by the malfunctions, I’ve downloaded her to a local memory bank.”

John’s coding is superior! That is what this episode teaches us! He really could take over the world...

“Hello John. You’ll be pleased to know all systems on Thunderbird Five are operating normally.”

“That’s a relief. Now, I need you to do a full system sweep. Look for anything unusual in the Z-Band Network.”

“One anomaly detected.”

“Looks like one of the transmitter nodes has been modified.”

Brains telling John to stay put was one of the best calls anyone could have made. They could have really ended up with everything stuck.

Their jet packs work on tech? I thought they were self-contained, but okay, Virgil is the expert and I bow to his superior knowledge.

“You know who I am, don’t you?”

“Yeah I do. And we know what you’ve been saying about us.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t just leave me here to rot.”

“Right now, you’re someone in a tough spot who needs help. Who you are and what you’ve done doesn’t matter.”

Brilliant attitude Scott! Many people struggle to do that.

“The Mechanic! Wait, it could be a holographic drone.”

No such luck.

Parker actually taking apart FAB One! I never thought I’d see the day.

“You’re risking your life to save mine. All of you.”

“You know that’s what we do, right? It’s the Rescue part in International Rescue.”

“Even when I was out to ruin you?”

“I’ll try not to take that personally.”

No one would blame you if you did, Scott. Gordon (and probably Alan) would have if he was down there. And that rockfall must have hurt! It was a really good improvised rescue though considering they couldn’t get their proper equipment there.

“See that wasn’t too bad.”

“Easy for you to say little brother.”

“It’s a glitch in the security log.”

“Someone was covering their tracks!”

“And that someone is still here in the compound. Grandma went looking for Brains. They could both be walking into a trap. I have to warn them!”

“John, wait! Then you might get caught in it as well. Let me try something. There. I now have a subroutine nested in the transmitter room server.”

“Is Brains in the room?”

“Yes, but so is The Mechanic.”

“The Mechanic?”

We really should be worried by how easy that was for EOS (and John) to do.

“You’re trying to build a laser.”

“Not trying. I already have.

EOS’ message was a classic! That little Scooby-Do moment was hilarious.

“Short version, The Mechanic is here.”

Those faces! Well, I suppose that’s equal to or worse in a way than The Hood breaking into Tracy Island. It also means that both of their homes have been broken into. I thought Kayo was meant to be doing all the security stuff.

“Your former employer tried a similar tactic once. It didn’t work out very well for him either.”

This confrontation was one of the best scenes I’ve ever seen.

“You need to work on your intimidation techniques, Grandma.”

“First of all, only family get to call her that. And second, EOS we need to separate the machine from the man.”

“With pleasure.”

John going in with a super back-up plan was completely awesome. EOS is super dangerous. In ‘Earthbreaker’, The Mechanic got the better of her, but she’s definitely evolved in order to be able to put a stop to him in this episode. So, that begs the question, is there anything she cannot overcome? I really loved this episodes use of John and EOS tech, as well as Brains and MAX’s relationship, and the ever continuing Brains and Mechanic battle. Even Grandma got her moments!

“You’re not welcome here.”

“Oh MAX, you’re a hero!”

Question: how did they not realise The Mechanic’s ship was in there?

Moving on.

“If there’s anything you want to know about us, all you’ve got to do is ask.”

“Really? Anything?”

“Well there are somethings we have to keep secret. Otherwise people like The Hood and The Mechanic will use them in bad ways. There may be a lot of mystery around International Rescue, but really we’re just a regular family.”

“Hey, that’s my chair!”

“No it’s not! I was here first.”

Yeah, definitely just a regular family.

“You want to hear a real story? Let me tell you some of the things Gordon says in his sleep.”

“Oh no you don’t!”

“Watch the hair.”

“Come here!”

“Oh, you’re a lot stronger than you look, Fish-boy!”

And you know what, I agree that that’s as good as place to leave it as anything.  This is an absolutely amazing episode, definitely the peak of Series 2.

[duhragonball]

[FIC] Luffa: The Legendary Super Saiyan (144/?)

Disclaimer: This story features characters and concepts based on Dragon Ball, which is a trademark of Bird Studio/Shueisha and Toei Animation.   This is an unauthorized work, and no profit is being made on this work by me. This story is copyright of me. Download if you like, but please don’t archive it without my permission. Don’t be shy.

Continuity Note: This story takes place about 1000 years before 66 years after the events of Dragon Ball Z.

  [3 November, Age 762.   Earth.]  

"Luffa!   Can you hear me?   This is Trunks, calling from the Time Nest!"  

"I was wondering when you'd call," Luffa said.   "I was starting to wonder if this earpiece you gave me got damaged while I was fighting Nappa."

"You did fine with him," Trunks said.   "Gohan and Krillin survived, so history is back on course, but your mission isn't over yet.   My father... Vegeta, he's still possessed by that purple energy.    You'll have to help Goku defeat him to finish the job."    

"Help him?" Luffa asked.    She had been standing on a rock formation for several minutes, observing their battle from a respectful distance.  "First of all, Kakarot seems to be doing just fine on his own.   Second, I wouldn't think of dishonoring him by interfering in his battle.     That goes for your father, too.   We may be enemies in this situation, but we're all Saiyans here."    

"Luffa, you don't understand.   Someone already interfered in this battle by altering history.    Our job is to balance the scales and put things back to normal.    I understand that you don't like the idea of double-teaming an opponent, but it's the only way to restore the timeline."

Luffa didn't budge.    Overhead, Son Goku and Vegeta were battling through the air, and their blows sounded like thunderclaps whenever they connected.    

"You weren't kidding about Kakarot's training in the afterlife," Luffa said.    She pulled a chunk of Saibaman out of her pocket and took a bite while she watched.     "He's improved a lot since Raditz.   It looks like he leapfrogged Nappa while he was at it.    And without Nappa to get in the way, your dad shouldn't be too much trouble."

"You're wrong," Trunks said, his voice growing more desperate.     "Luffa, I know how this battle is supposed to play out.    My father has an ace in the hole.    You must have noticed by now.   He's got a tail, but Goku doesn't!"

"So what?" Luffa asked.   "He'd need the light of Earth's full moon to transform into a giant ape, and the sun hasn't even gone down yet!"

"He doesn't need the moon!" Trunks cried, "he can make his own--"

"Wait a minute," Luffa said before he could finish.   "What the hell is he doing up there?"

High above, Vegeta was ranting and raving about how he was willing to destroy the entire planet to win his fight with Goku.   Luffa could sense his energy building, and he brought his hands together on the left side of his chest.   At the same time, she could sense Goku increasing his own ki to prepare a countermeasure.   But this climactic struggle wasn't what had Luffa's attention.    She floated up into the air to get a better look at Vegeta's posture.  

"Luffa, you've got to do something!" Trunks pleaded through the earpiece.   "Goku barely managed to deflect this attack before, but with that dark energy multiplying my father's power, he won't stand a chance!"

But she wasn't listening to him anymore.     All around her, the skies trembled from the intensity of power Goku and Vegeta were preparing to fire at one another, but Luffa paid no attention to this either.   She simply flew straight towards Vegeta, and just as she reached him, he launched his attack.  

"Gallick Gun!" he screamed as he hurled a column of purple light down at the Earth below.   Goku responded in kind with his own energy beam, similar to the Gallick Gun, but clearly distinct.    Luffa ignored him completely.

"Hey!" she shouted at Vegeta.    "Are you making fun of me?!"

"Wh-what?!" Vegeta gasped as he finally noticed her approach.  

Luffa held up her hands to match Vegeta's pose.   "Don't screw with me, you royalist trash!   I never learned how to do the Galick Gun 'properly', and here you are imitating my style!    Right in front of me!"

"That's absurd!" Vegeta growled.    "This technique has been in my family for centuries!   I've never seen you before in my life.   Tch!   Why am I arguing with you at a time like this?   Who the hell are you?"

"Who am I?!   I'm the lady that's gonna tear you out of frame!"

"Begone, woman, before I--!   No!   No!"

It was this distraction that gave Goku the opening he needed.   Luffa sensed a sudden surge of ki energy from below, and Vegeta's Gallick Gun was  overwhelmed.   In mere moments, Vegeta found himself on the defensive, and finally he was engulfed in Goku's bright blue beam, which launched him higher and higher into the atmosphere.

"Damn youuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" Vegeta screamed.

Luffa watched him disappear into the stratosphere and extended the middle fingers of both hands to express her farewells.  

"O... okay?" said Trunks through the earpiece.  "I guess that's one way to do it."    

"So is that it?" Luffa said, finally responding to Trunks.   "Wait, is he supposed to die in this battle?    Were you born before or after this happened?"

"That isn't the problem!" Trunks said.    "He's going to roll off of that Kamehameha wave--"

"Kamayhammy-what?"

"The blast Goku just shot at him!" Trunks said.  

"Hey, don't get mad at me for not knowing all this stuff," Luffa shouted.    "You're the one who wanted me to beat up your dad."

"He's... going... to come back... and transform into a giant ape," Trunks insisted.    "You need to keep Goku alive until the others can help--"

"I keep telling you, he doesn't need any help," Luffa said.    "And neither do I.   After taking a hit like that, Vegeta won't have enough power left to... wait, what is that?"

Luffa's had once been the Legendary Super Saiyan, but her power had been severely limited after an incredible battle on Planet Nagaoka.    She had no idea whether this change was permanent, but she had resolved to carry on at least as far as she could to help Trunks.    But the problem was more than just a loss of power.    Whatever had happened to Luffa had also affected her ki perception as well.   And this was a more dangerous affliction, since she wasn't aware of it.     Vegeta rocketed back to the battlefield like a rogue comet, completely catching her off-guard.    

"You two bastards have pushed me far enough!" Vegeta roared.  "As much as the form disgusts me, I can't think of a better way to finish you than to crush you both as a giant ape!"

Luffa was surprised by his speedy return, but she recovered quickly.     "Nice try, idiot.    It'll be at least an hour before it's dark enough for the moonlight to work, and I can beat you into the ground long before then!"

"Moonlight?"  Goku asked.   Luffa knew little about the man, except that he had lived most of his life on Earth, cut off from Saiyan-kind.   She was beginning to suspect that didn't even know he was a Saiyan until his brother Raditz invaded.

"Oh, yes, you thought you were very clever, Kakarot." Vegeta snarled.   "You destroyed this planet's moon so we wouldn't be able to use it against you.    Too bad for you that I have other ways to transform."  

With that, Vegeta began to yell.   He raised his right hand over his head, and curled his fingers as though grasping at the air.    Then a globe of ki energy appeared in his hand, and he made a fiendish grin.  

"What the hell is he doing?" Luffa asked Trunks.   "He put a big chunk of his  ki into that, but he can't hit us both with one attack.   Is he trying to blow up the planet again?"  

"I already told you--" Trunks tried to explain, but Vegeta beat him to it.  

"Burst open and mix!" Vegeta shouted as he launched the energy ball into the sky.   Luffa expected it to explode, or to fly back down and attack either Goku or herself.    Instead, it diffused into the air, and a curious glow appeared...

"It's artificial moonlight!" Trunks shouted through the earpiece.   "If you look at it, you'll turn into a giant ape!"  

But Luffa already knew.   She could sense Vegeta's power rising as the Oozaru transformation took hold.   Nearby, Goku didn't change at all.   He had no tail, and he also seemed to have no idea what Saiyans could change this way.   As for Luffa herself, she could tell Trunks was still talking, and she could hear Vegeta gloating, but she couldn't make out the words over the pounding rhythm of her own heart.

Real or fake, the light Vegeta had created was all Luffa could see.     She could feel herself beginning to change.    It was that... tightness in her skin, the sensation that always seemed to come just before her body violently expanded in size.    Just like the last time.  

On Nagaoka.    

When her body nearly tore itself apart!

A chill ran through her entire body, and she made a strange noise that might have been described as a wail.   And then, just as she felt the effects of the moonlight taking hold, she shut her eyes tightly and averted her gaze.    She wasn't entirely sure of her actions.   It was like her body was acting without her.   Like dropping a hot potato before feeling the heat.    

"No!" she gasped.    "No!"  

"Luffa, what's happening out there?"  Trunks asked.  

"Nothing!    I'm fine!" Luffa lied.   She reached for the earpiece to remove it, or at least turn it off.   But her hands were trembling too badly for her to get a proper grip.   In her frustration, she fired a small ki blast at the side of her head and fried the device.    She smelled burnt hair and electronics, but not burnt flesh, so she was satisfied that she still had at least some control over herself.  

"It's all in your head, you coward!" she snarled as she tucked her hands under her shoulders.  It didn't help.   She was shaking all over now.   It wasn't just the Golden Ape transformation on Nagaoka that haunted her.    She found herself recalling the Tikosi Hiveworld as well.     There, the insectoid scientists of the Tikosi conducted cruel experiments on her.   One in particular was designed to trigger her Giant Ape transformation, only to cancel it partway.    They would turn her back and forth, or simply leave her suspended between forms.   She thought she had worked past that trauma, but Vegeta had proven otherwise.    

Not far away, she could sense Vegeta chasing after Son Goku.    Trunks had told her that the mission depended on her keeping him alive.     Instead, she found herself running in the other direction, desperate to get control over herself.    As she moved, she fired wildly in the direction of the false moon, but it didn't seem to do any good.     Vegeta's technique was a substitute for a genuine moon.    It only made sense that it couldn't be destroyed as easily as the real thing.   She crouched on the ground and cursed herself for lying down in a fetal position while she took stock of her situation.    

"Shouldn't have blasted my own ear like that," she grumbled between rapid breaths.    "But at least the other one still works.    And I can open my damn eyes as long as I keep my back to that light.    That's easy, right?   So why won't I open my eyes?    Oh, you know why not, dammit!   Dammit!"

She wished that her wife was here.    It had taken so long for her to go to Zatte when these episodes happened, and sometimes Luffa wasn't sure Zatte had been able to help much, but at least it had been better than gutting it out alone, and this was worse than just about any nightmare she'd had.   But Zatte was gone, maybe forever.    Just like Dr. Topsas, and all of her other friends, and her parents, and her son... And it wasn't difficult to blame herself for that situation.     She had been too weak, too afraid, and too unworthy, and so she had lost them all, one by one.    And now Trunks was learning that lesson just like everyone else.  All that mattered about her was the Super Saiyan, and that was over now.    Without that thing, she was nothing special, just a woman teetering on the brink of madness.  

Instinctively, she curled her tail between her legs, and felt its fur in her still-trembling hands.   In her darkest hours, Luffa had taken solace in her tail, both for the Saiyan pride it represented, and for the intensive effort she had put into training it as a child.    From a young age, she had believed that if she could overcome the weakness in her tail, she could rise above any other obstacle.   It was why she had taken such offense at Saiyans like King Rehval, who encouraged their people to amputate their tails.    She could hear Goku's agonized screams, even at this distance.    Vegeta had kept his tail, and it was clear which one of them had made the right decision.    

There was a simple solution to her problem.   Luffa could cut off her tail, here, and now, and then she could fight Vegeta without worrying about the fake moon.  It wouldn't be that difficult.   One sharp twist and it would all be over.   It would hurt, but she had suffered far worse pain in her short lifetime.    It would betray her Saiyan pride, but Luffa didn't have much of that left anymore.    Rehval had shown her just how despicable the Saiyan race could truly be, and Raditz had shown her that there were even lower depths they could sink to.    Was this why Goku and Trunks had no tail?   Had they learned the same painful lesson that Luffa was contemplating now?  

Goku's howls grew louder, and Luffa's fear began to give way to rage.   She wanted Vegeta to pay for this humiliation, and if mutilating herself got the job done, then maybe it was worth it.  And then she heard another scream.    

It was Vegeta.    She could barely sense any power from Goku at all, but he had used what little he had to fire a parting shot.    

"Hah!" she whispered through clenched teeth.    "Kakarot, you dog."

Luffa rose to her feet.    

*******

"My eye!    How dare you!" Vegeta roared.  

At the ape's feet, Goku lay broken and defeated, but still defiant.  

"Heh!    Somethin' for ya to remember me by," he gasped.    

Vegeta raised his massive paw to crush his enemy, but then he cried out in pain once again.    When he turned to see who had attacked him, he couldn't help but laugh.    

"You again!" he chuckled.    "And here I thought you had lost your will to fight, woman!    Maybe you have.   If you transformed yourself the way I have, then you might stand a chance.    But it looks like you've come here to die instead!"

Luffa pointed her hand at him, still keeping her eyes shut.   Her tail waved behind her back.   "I don't need the Oozaru form to beat you down, Vegeta," she said.    "Maybe I'll take out your other eye and finish what Kakarot started."

"You filthy scumbag!" Vegeta snarled.   "You dare to challenge me, but you're too frightened of the moonlight to even open your eyes!     When I'm through with you, I'll make what I did to Kakarot seem quick and painless!"

Luffa waved her hand to encourage him to attack.   "Kill me if you think you can kill me," she said darkly.   "It's your only chance."

He rushed towards her, just as Luffa expected him to.    The fear had not subsided, nor had the trembling in her body, but Luffa still had enough in her to keep the Giant Ape busy.   She dodged his blows, and while she couldn't see which of his eyes was injured, it was easy enough to deduce it from his movements.    Luffa made sure to stay on his blind side and fired as many ki blasts into his flank as she could muster.    

It wasn't about beating him.    She would if she could, but she knew the goal now had to be to stall him.    From Trunks' perspective, this battle was history, and it had already been fought and won without Luffa's involvement.    All she had to do was keep Vegeta too occupied to kill anyone that he wasn't supposed to.   All she had to do was counteract the dark energy that still churned inside of him.    Luffa could sense this on top of his Saiyan power, and she knew that this alien power was her true enemy.      

As she ducked and dodged, she fought to overcome her terror.    It was just like it had been with Nappa.   Each time he hit her, she felt herself getting stronger.   Against Vegeta, she doubted that she could survive many of his attacks, so she focused on mental strength instead.  Each blow he failed to land was a boost for her confidence.    

This was the wisdom she had gained from her tail.    This was why she couldn't cut it off, even now, when it made all the sense in the world.   As a little girl, she had forced herself to overcome her weakness.   Not all at once, like some brazen Super Saiyan smashing her way through entire armies, but one step at a time.    She would survive this Vegeta, and then she would overcome him, and then she would surpass him.     That was the way of her people.   Maybe they had all forgotten, but she still remembered.  

And she always would.

*******

[February 25, Age 850.   Toki Toki City.]

Luffa returned to the Time Nest victorious, but badly hurt.   In the unadulterated history, the fateful battle between Goku and Vegeta was a mismatch to begin with.   Between the dark energy amplifying Vegeta's strength, and Luffa's mysteriously diminished power, restoring the timeline had proven just as tricky.  

"I'm just glad that fat guy with the sword showed up when he did," Luffa grumbled as she wiped the blood off her face.   "Your dad's one stubborn bastard, that's for sure."

"I'm sorry.   I should have retrieved you from the time jump," Trunks said.   He reached out to help Luffa up off the floor.    

She nearly waved him off, but thought better of it and accepted his help.   It wasn't because she wanted it, but she suddenly realized how little she knew about Trunks, or this world he had dragged her into.   Helping him had been almost automatic for her, after years of diving headlong into adventures as a Super Saiyan, but the fight with Vegeta and Nappa had forced her to admit that those days were behind her, at least for the time being.   This new situation called for a more cautious approach.   She wasn't sure she could trust Trunks, but it might work to her favor to get him to think he could trust her.    

"Thanks," she said, hoping that it sounded sincere.  

"It's the least I can do," Trunks said.   "I wish I could join you on these missions, but I need to stay here in case I get a bead on whoever's behind this."  

"Don't worry about me," Luffa said.   "I may look pretty banged up, but I got a lot out of that last scrap just now.    My power isn't back to normal yet, but with a few more fights like that one, and I'll be ready for anything."

"It's not that," Trunks said.    "You were chosen by Shenron, so I know you can handle it.    It's just... well, I wouldn't mind fighting with my father one more time, even if it's on opposite sides."

"I wouldn't know," Luffa mumbled.   She had killed her own father long ago, and found the experience disappointingly anticlimactic.   She wasn't sure if she envied Trunks or pitied him.

He led her out of the Time Vault, but before they could leave the Time Nest, he heard a noise from above, and they looked up to find a large bird soaring in the upper reaches of the Time Nest.   It suddenly occurred to Luffa that the entire structure of this place resembled an enormous birdcage floating in some sort of green cosmic haze.    

Then they heard the click of heels on the cobblestone road that connected the Time Vault to the portal leading to the city, and they looked down to see someone walking towards them.   It was a woman, even shorter than Luffa, with mauve skin and coral pink hair.   Her clothes were similar to Luffa's compression shirt and baggy pants, but over this she wore a purple jacket with a yellow sash tied around the waist.   The cut of the jacket was unusual, as the lower section billowed out around her lower legs, almost like a dress.    The upper section stopped at her torso and wrapped loosely about her arms, exposing her shoulders completely.    Her neck-length hair was styled in a way that revealed her pointed ears and a pair of large yellow gems that hung from her lobes.

"He-loooooo!" she said cheerfully.   As Trunks nervously returned her greeting, she noticed Luffa, and waved to her.    

"Er, this is the Master of the Time Nest," Trunks explained.    "She's the Supreme Kai of Time, and a very important person."

As he said all of this, the Kai stood behind him and began posing and making silly faces.    Luffa had no idea how to take this.  

"Kai," Luffa said.   "I've heard about them before.   They're like the kami, who oversee different planets, right?"

"Sort of," Trunks said.    "Only the Kais are on a level above that.     And the Supreme Kais are higher still.   She manages the flow of time throughout the entire universe, keeping a close eye on history and protecting it."

As he said this, the bird that had been circling above them chose this moment to alight on the Supreme Kai of Time's head.   It was at this moment Luffa noticed that the bird was  about the same size as the Kai.   Before she could ask what the bird was called, the Kai angrily shooed it off of her head and started scolding it like a child.    The bird cooed in reply, and it was impossible to tell if it understood her words or not.  

Luffa looked at Trunks, who seemed even more confused, if such a thing was possible.    

"Well, like I said, she's an important person.  Just trust me..." he said with an awkward chuckle.  

Luffa shrugged and nodded indifferently.    When it became clear that the Kai was no longer paying attention to them, Trunks resumed escorting Luffa to the city.

*******

Luffa's second visit to the hospital was much shorter than the first.   The Namekian healer, Pulmon, rejuvenated her just as quickly as before, and this time she didn't need to sleep.  After her discharge, she and Trunks began to roam the walkways of Toki Toki City

"I'm still waiting to hear back from Admin about your quarters," Trunks said.   "It's probably going to take a while to get you back home.   The Dragon Balls won't reactivate for at least six months, and that's assuming we won't need them for some other crisis."  

"Don't worry about it," Luffa said.   "I... I don't really have any pressing business waiting for me.   Besides, I can always take a spaceship."  

"We, uh, don't really have those here," Trunks said.  

"You can travel through time, but not space?"

"Pretty much," Trunks said.    "The Supreme Kai of Time created Toki Toki City as a base for the Time Patrol.   Most of us are from Earth, and Earth is pretty isolated from the rest of the universe."  

"That's pretty much what Pulmon told me about his own people," Luffa said.   "I was asking him about The Camelian Empire, trying to get a handle on how far it is from Earth, but he said he'd never heard of it."

"The Camelian Empire?" Trunks said.   "I've never heard of it either.   Is that where you're from?"

"No," Luffa said.    "I was born in interstellar space.   Never spent too much time in one place.   I lived on a few planets for a while, but none of them were what you'd call landmarks.   But Camelia's a big deal, with a lot of star systems under their control.   If I knew where that was in relation to Earth, I could get my bearings.    But it's starting to sound like this is a pretty isolated part of the galaxy, or maybe a whole other galaxy."

"We'll get to the bottom of this, Luffa," Trunks said.   "But I appreciate you helping us out in the meantime."

"Don't mention it," Luffa said.    "You've got Saiyan blood yourself.   So you know I'd go stir crazy without some action.   What I don't understand is how even the Saiyans I've been fighting could be so different from the ones I know," Luffa said.  "Nappa claimed that your father was the result of generations of breeding, like he was this ultimate warrior, but he wasn't that strong.   If my ki wasn't all out of whack, I could have taken care of them both without any trouble.   So what was he bragging about?"

"Well, my father was the strongest Saiyan of that era," Trunks said.   "From what I've heard, back on Planet Vegeta--"

"Yeah, Nappa mentioned a Planet named after your old man," Luffa said.    "I've never heard of it.   It's like there was this whole other population of Saiyans completely cut off from mine, with their own kings.   Could this be connected to whoever's been changing history?"

"Hmm... Well, it's not impossible," Trunks said.  "But the temporal incursions we've been seeing are all confined to a fairly recent period, a few decades at most.  I think the enemy would have to go back pretty far to change the Saiyan homeworld.    On the other hand, I've gotta admit, I know a lot more about time travel than Saiyan history.    Wait a minute... of course!"

"What is it?" Luffa asked.    

Trunks drove his left fist against his right palm as he spoke.    "I should have thought of this before," he said.   "We have a research division in the Time Patrol.    One of them could probably clear this up for us.    They might even be able to track down some planets you're familiar with."

"Perfect," Luffa said.    "Where do we find these guys?"

Before Trunks could answer, there was a beeping noise from inside the sleeve of his jacket.    He held up his left hand to reveal a wristwatch communicator.    

"It's the Supreme Kai of Time," Trunks said.   "She must have discovered another change in history."   He touched a button on the face of his watch and said: "This is Trunks.    Go ahead."

"What's the big idea walking out on me while I was dealing with Tokitoki?"  replied the agitated voice on the other end of the call.     "That's extremely disrespectful, you know!"

"I--!   I'm sorry!" Trunks said.   "I just... it seemed like you were busy, and I needed to see to Luffa's injuries and--"

"What sort of example does that set for a new recruit, huh?   Did you even think of that?   Look, just get back here, okay?   I need to show you something!"

"R-right!" Trunks said.    He switched off the transmission and hung his head.   "I need to go," he said with a sigh.  "It sounds like something important.   At least, I hope it is..."

Luffa began to crack her knuckles.   "If it's another mission, that suits me just fine," she said.   "I need to blow off some steam."

"No, if she didn't want me to come alone, she would have said so," Trunks said.  "And this might just be a waste of time.    You can talk to someone at the Research building while I handle this."    He pointed to a box-shaped building in the distance.    "Number 731.   You can't miss it.    Just tell them I sent you.    You can find me at the Time Nest when you're finished."    

With that, he turned and ran, leaving Luffa by herself.   She shrugged, and made her way to the structure.    As she approached, she stared at the large glyphs on its wall and tried to memorize them for future reference.    

*******

The inside of the Time Patrol Research Corps building looked completely different from the high-tech exterior.    The walls were stone and ceramic tile, and the lighting was produced by a series of long tubes that hung from electrical fixtures on the ceiling.   Along the halls were wooden doors with square glass window panes.     As Luffa couldn't read the room numbers or the placards, she simply peeked into each window, looking for an unlocked office with someone inside.    When she finally found one, she couldn't see anyone through the window, but she could hear voices from within.    She took five steps inside, and discovered a man and a woman leaned up against a desk, making out.    

"Whoa!" Luffa said as she averted her gaze.  

"Uh!    Can I help you?" the man blurted out awkwardly.  

"Right!  Yes!" the woman added.   "Can I help you?   Um, also?"  

They were fully dressed, but Luffa was unsettled enough that she held up her arm, as though afraid to look directly at them.    "I... I need a historian?" she said.   "Someone who specializes in Saiyan history, maybe?"  

"Oh!  Um... well I'm a dietitian," the man said.  

"I don't actually work here," the woman said.   "I'm with maintenance.  Here to fix..."

"The wiring."  

"Right!   Yeah, the wiring.    I should... really get back to that."

"Look, I just need to know where your history department is," Luffa said, "and I'll let you get back to... whatever you were doing."

"Dewar's still here, isn't he?" the woman asked.    

"Probably.   He almost never leaves his office.   He's down in the basement.    Room Number 034."  

"Look, let's just assume I can't read," Luffa said.    She didn't particularly want either of them to show her where to go, but she didn't want to waste time either.    

"It's the room with the foil on the window," the man said.  "You can't miss it."  

Luffa muttered a few words of gratitude and shut the door behind her.   Two minutes later, she stood before an identical door in an identical hallway, only this one was underground, and the door had aluminum foil covering the window.   She could hear people talking and laughing inside.    Having lost a good deal of patience, she didn't bother knocking, and simply walked right in.  

She found an alien inside, sitting in an old leather office chair.     He looked mostly humanoid, save for a thick tail that he had threaded between the back of the chair and the seat.   His feet were propped up on a bookshelf.     They looked like the toes of a bird, or some sort of dinosaur.    His hairless head had an odd shape to it, like a nut with a slight point at the top.    And his skin was a pale blue color.     He didn't even notice Luffa's entrance.    His attention was firmly on a small video monitor that was sitting on top of a file cabinet.    

"Ha!  That's what you get, Queen Trowel!   Next time, listen to your advisers instead of cutting out their tongues!   Huh?   Hah?"

He cupped his hand over one of the rimmed holes on the sides of his head and leaned closer to the screen.    "What was that, Your Majesty?   You say there won't be a next time, because Sergeant Prunshir shot you a hundred times?     Ohhhhh!   Who could have seen that coming?    Heh heh heh!"

"Are you Dewar or not?" Luffa asked, startling the alien.  In his excitment, he dropped the box of snacks he was holding.    

"Holy crap," he yelled, gasping at the chest of his tank top.   "Oi, what's the big idea?   The sign on the door says 'Do Not Disturb', doesn't it?    Can't you read?"  

"No, I can't," Luffa said.    

"Oh."   He put his thumb on his chin and considered the door behind Luffa.   "Maybe I should look into a pictogram.    Something with a picture of a guy knocking, because apparently nobody knows how to do that anymore!"  

"Oh, I know how to knock," Luffa said, "I just don't care.   I need a historian.   Trunks sent me here."

"Trunks?!"  he asked.   "Welllllll now, this just got very interesting.   The big shot Time Patrollers don't usually call down here for us little old researchers."   He reached for a holster that was lying haphazardly across his desk, and as he stood up to wrap it around his waist, his tail snaked into one of the desk drawers and produced a pistol.    

"What's the gun for?" Luffa asked.

"What isn't it for?" Dewar said as he held it up and admired the craftsmanship of it.   "I'm nowhere near as strong as Trunks, but I've done a few field missions from time to time.   Never let it be said that Dewar, pride of the Research Corps, can't hold his own in a fight.   But it never hurts to have a little insurance, eh?"

"Pride of the...?   They stuck you in the basement," Luffa grumbled.   "Look, this isn't a field mission, at least not yet.   I just needed to pick your brain for a minute."   She pointed at the monitor he had been watching.    "Maybe you can pull up some images from history, like whatever you're working on here."

"Oh, that?" Dewar said with a chuckle.   He reached out with his tail and pressed the "off" button with the very tip.    "This is just a TV set.  I was watching some old dramas from Ryno VII."  

Luffa put her hand over her face and shook her head.    

"What?" he asked.   "It's an important window into their culture!"  

"I need to talk to someone about Saiyan history," Luffa said.  "Do you know anything about that?"

"Saiyans?    Wellllll now, the plot thickens, eh?   Let me just get my notes and I'll join you both at the Time Nest."  

"No," Luffa said.   "Just you and me.  For now.   I mean... Trunks has a lot going on, right?    No need to pull him away from what he's doing."  

"Hmm, I guess he is a pretty busy guy.    Fine, where's your quarters?"  

"I don't have a room assignment," Luffa said.  "I don't know what the holdup is."  

Dewar threw his hands up.   "Those dopes in Admin!" he said.    "Always taking their sweet time.    Looks like I'll have to bail them out again!"  

Before Luffa could ask what he meant, he reached into the pocket of his jeans and withdrew a  device that looked like a large pen.    He then powered up a computer terminal in the corner, and plugged the pen into an access port on the side.    

"What are you doing?" Luffa asked.  

"Admin goes through all these silly algorithms to assign living quarters," Dewar explained.   "It's all a lot of nonsense.   Somebody tried to rig it to match roommates by blood types, which only slows things down.    Fortunately, I, er, acquired a master access fob a while back.   Oh, I told myself I'd only use it in an emergency, but the bureaucratic wheels turn so damn slow, and there's so many poor souls like yourself who cry out for help.   I can't just leave you on the streets, now can I?    What did you say your name was?"

"Luffa," she groaned.  

"Ah, nice name.   Haven't heard that one before, but very Saiyan.     There we are!   See?  Now this was exactly what I was talking about.   They've got a dozen openings, but they're waiting on results from some personality quiz that you probably didn't even know you were supposed to take!   Wellllll now, I'll just fix that.    Favorite food...?  Cup noodle, of course.    Tree you identify with...?   Redwood sounds good."

"What's a redwood?" Luffa asked.

Dewar shrugged without looking up from his work.    "Never seen one before, but I'm guessing they're red.   And... blood type is XJ3.    A minute to process the data, annnnnnnd...  Bingo!"

He snapped his fingers and looked back to Luffa.    "Piece of cake!   Come on, Luffa, let's take a look at your new home at..."  He looked back at the screen to read the address, and his mood quickly deflated.   "Oh... oh nooo..."

"What is it?" Luffa asked.  

"Er, nothing!   Nothing to worry about!" he said cheerfully.    "I just noticed that you've got a roommate!   Nothing to worry about.   I'm sure you'll get along just fine.    Jayncho's a little anti-social, but once you get to know her, she's a really nice lady!   Heh heh!   Uh... yes."  

He shut off his computer and gestured for Luffa to follow him out of the office.   As she followed, Luffa noticed that he was still carrying his sidearm...

NEXT: Fitting In.

[meditativeyoga]

5 Rules for Maintaining a Regular Meditation Practice

What keeps a meditation practice choosing 25 years? Renowned writer Natalie Goldberg provides some insight.

I have actually practiced reflection for 25 years. Occasionally in one of the most likely, as well as unlikely, places: 2 weeks in a cabin in north Minnesota, in the timbers under ponderosa pines throughout backpacking trips, in a root cellar in Talpa, New Mexico, in a hen coop I converted right into a zendo, on the deck off my room, in my living-room, my kitchen, on the actions waiting for a collection to open.

I have likewise practiced officially with other Zen students in extensive institutional atmospheres for as much as a week at once and for 100-day method periods. For 6 years in my 30s, I lived 4 blocks from the Minnesota Zen Facility, where I followed a daily routine of resting at 5 a.m. and then occasionally for two hrs in the night. We had regular monthly weekend break and also seasonal hideaways where I sat practically regularly from before dawn up until 10 at night.

Twenty-five years is a long time to be taken part in one activity. Have I handled to do it daily regardless of what? No. Have I usually experienced states of happiness that kept me going? No. Did my knees harmed and shoulders hurt? Yes. Was I often full of temper, aggressiveness, tormented by old ragged memories, shedding with sex-related need, yearning a hot fudge sundae so poor my teeth hurt? Yes.

Why did I do it? What maintained me going? Initially, I suched as that it was so simple, so different from the constant thrill of human life. When I sat, I wasn't hurrying towards anything. The entire globe, my whole internal life, was coming residence to me. I was beginning a real partnership with myself. This felt right-- and it was inexpensive. All I required was my breath, a cushion or chair, and a little time. As well as I feel I've learned a couple of features of meditation throughout my sitting tenure that have assisted to maintain my method going when there were lots of reasons to stop.

Five Rules for Maintaining a Meditation Practice

Over the years I have listened to much guideline on ways to meditate. Recently I listened to somebody tell trainees that it is much better to rest for five minutes on a daily basis than for a hr three times a week. That's good advice, I believed. After that I grinned to myself. There are no prescriptions for a lengthy partnership. Things change. 5 minutes daily might work wonderfully for three months. After that just what if you miss out on a day or a week? Have you fallen short? Do you stop? I hope not. But often our minds established stiff expectations, as well as when they're not fulfilled, we drop the entire thing.

Rule #1

That's my initial policy: If you want reflection to be in your life for a very long time, do not make a rigid structure and afterwards chastise yourself when you do not follow it. It's much better to maintain a limber mind as well as establish inflammation toward existence. Missed a day? You'll begin again the next day. Where are you going anyway but right where you are? That doesn't indicate structure isn't really important. It's less complicated to return to something solid than to an amorphous purpose to some plan to meditate.

Begin with 5 minutes-- a time structure-- and clarify it also more. When should you rest for those five mins? In the early morning, right prior to going to bed, when it's noontime-- no issue where you are or exactly what you're doing? If you select a time, it makes the technique sturdier.

And if you devote to a routine location-- at your desk prior to you start work, in front of the church in your bedroom, under the sycamore in the front yard-- it also grows the objective. Framework permits you to even more just drop in without giving 'monkey mind'-- the inner downhearted voice-- much room. Monkey mind can give a hundred factors not to meditate. Structure assists sustain your impulse to do it anyway.

Rule #2

My second rule is to be innovative and versatile in your meditation. A structure that functioned well for 3 years may instantly collapse: You have a new job with various hrs, or you're traveling for two months, or your better half just brought to life a second kid and the family is in unlimited turmoil. So discover how to meditate in a chair, while you rest in the waiting area of your dental expert's workplace, or in the car as you wait for your son or child to finish football practice.

Meditation has to do with having a big life slap in the facility of your daily life. The challenge is how to stay open and also continue. I was at a resort at Plum Town in southern France when the individual alongside me asked Thich Nhat Hanh, the Vietnamese Buddhist monk, who is in his 60s, how he has maintained his meditation technique active for so long. He smiled a wry, pleasant smile. 'So you desire to recognize my trick?' She nodded eagerly. 'I do whatever functions as well as change it when it not works.'

Rule #3

My third regulation: Even if you can't practice meditation, bring your reflection inside. When my publication, Listing the Bones, appeared in 1986, I was invited to show in Selma, Alabama. The thick air and the abundant trees, so various from my dry New Mexico, pleased me, as well as I was curious regarding a writer everybody informed me about. She lived a hr away in the country. She would certainly simply won the PEN/Hemingway Award for her collection of narratives. It was her very first book and she was in her 70s. I had the privilege of talking to her on the phone.

' Have you been writing all of your life?' I asked, gladdened at the success a writer might still contend her age.

' I created through my 20s then got wed as well as had a child,' she stated. 'I really did not start up again up until my 60s when my other half passed away.'

I stopped. I was a gung-ho author then and would not provide it up for anything.

' Well, was it hard? I mean providing up composing. Did you dislike it?'

' Oh, no, I really did not feel bad,' she replied. 'All the years I didn't create I never quit seeing myself as a writer.'

That discussion left an enduring influence on me. Also if you can't compose, you could see the means a writer does, observe as well as absorb the details of just what borders you. This is additionally true of a life of reflection. There might be durations-- weeks, months, or even years-- when you can't reach the pillow, yet that does not imply you have to surrender being a meditator. As well as when you ultimately do go back to resting, your practice could be also fresher compared to when you left it.

Rule #4

My fourth policy is that even if you carry reflection within-- still see and feel as a meditator-- there are times when you require to physically practice in a different way. Instance in factor: When I lived in Santa Fe in my very early 40s, I was pressing tough on at the very least three publications, and also the mind exertion as well as concentration of writing really felt way too much like the experience I had when I rested. I made strolling my meditation.

In Santa Fe I lived near the midtown plaza as well as close to cafes. I would certainly do conscious walking to the places where I created. One foot after the other. I would certainly feel my toes bend, heel lift, hip shift, the weight of placing one foot down, and the surge of the other. I observed just how my feet brought me. Then when I was performed with three or four hours of writing, I 'd stroll some more. I would certainly transfer the power of my writing concentration down right into the power of my feet. I would certainly leave the mind of my creativity and land in the mind of the roads. My feet became my focus under the one skies, near parking meters, the rustle of cottonwoods, the odor of baked chilies. Even though I consider composing an internal exercise, where my entire body is involved-- my heart, lungs, liver, breath-- strolling grounded me to the real world around me.

Rule #5

And my last regulation is this: No matter just how much your meditation diverts from the pillow or the chair, do not forget to return repeatedly, as much as possible, to that stable sitting placement, where whatever goes through you. Think about it: If a writer is an author, she at some point, also Thirty Years later on, must grab a pen once more and also create. A Zen student, regardless of just how much he or she chops timber or lugs water, should go back to the zafu. Each technique has its one necessary activity. For Zen, it is sitting. This is great. Otherwise we could stray, obtain shed permanently, as well as never locate the beginning.

[thegloober]

One-Minute Life Hacks

A) WAITER’S PAD HACK

There are two uses:

BUSINESS MEETING:

Everyone pulls out their fascist Moleskine notebooks and you pull out your waiter’s pad.

First thing that happens is the alpha male in the room says, “I’ll take fries with that burger”.

This bad joke happens 100% of the time. Homework assignment: come up with the best joke in response.

Second thing that happens: “Why do you have a waiter’s pad?”

Answer:

It’s easy to write notes.

Easy to keep track of the names around the table (since at the top of a check are tables which you can write names to remember).

They are cheap. 10 cents a pad with the right supplier.

This makes you the center of attention at the meeting. It says you are serious about taking notes.

And most important, it shows you are frugal and will care about not wasting people’s money.

A waiter’s pad is MONEY IN THE BANK.

Second use:

RESTAURANT:

When I sit down, I simply pull out a waiter’s pad and put it next to me on the table.

Now the waiters think I’m in “the biz” and I never have any problems with service.

This is not even a one-minute hack. It’s a 10-second hack.

B) LIE DETECTION HACK

If someone does not answer your question, they are lying.

Example: “Hi honey, where’d you go last night?”

Your honey: “I was out with friends.”

Notice: he or she did not answer the question. Which means somewhere in there is a lie.

Example: “Are all expenses included in this estimate?”

Answer: “Sure, unless we see something unusual.”

Did not answer the question. So you will be paying more.

This technique always works. Great for people who are paranoid (like me).

C) LIE DETECTION HACK #2

You’re sitting and one person has a rolling chair. You ask a bunch of easy questions. They answer and sit still.

Now you ask harder questions. Like, “Hey, where were you that night?”

“I was at home.” And they start to roll away on the chair.

Lying.

This works for anything with these two conditions:

It’s easy for them to move.

You can ask easy-to-answer questions to start to establish that they are sitting still when truthful.

This is a very common interrogation technique.

Both of these were told me by a former DIA (Defense Intelligence Agency) interrogator who now runs his own private intelligence agency.

D) NETWORKING HACK

Even if you don’t smoke, always carry around a pack of cigarettes.

Situations where this works:

Smoking break. Someone you want to network with is at a restaurant and takes a smoking break. You can follow them outside and start a conversation.

The back-technique. You leave your cigarettes behind right before someone you want to network with is sitting down (at a restaurant, club, meeting, etc.). You go back, “Ugh, left my cigarettes here.” And you start to talk.

Believe it or not, everyone in the CIA carries cigarettes around all the time for this reason.

This was told to me by a former “black ops” soldier who wouldn’t tell me “yes” or “no” when I asked him if he was still in the CIA.

E) INTERVIEW / SPEAKING HACK

You start off saying, “I’m sure the others you’ve interviewed have all been great and qualified.” Or.. (for speaking), “Let’s give a hand for all the others before me.”

THIS IS AN IMPORTANT COGNITIVE BIAS:

This is called “choice ambiguity bias”.

When you say the word “other”, the audience lumps everyone into one aggregated being.

Or your potential boss lumps everyone into one aggregated (and forgettable) person they interviewed.

They literally won’t be able to remember anything about the others before you and you will stand out.

Related to this is recency bias. Try to be the last person interviewed or the last person to speak on the agenda. The most “recent” is always the most remembered and if you combine this with choice ambiguity bias, you will create the most memorable impression by far.

All of this was told to me by a professor of cognitive biases when I needed help winning a public speaking contest.

F) WRITING HACK

What’s great about this hack is that even if you know the rule, it still works:

After you write ANYTHING, take out the first paragraph and the last paragraph and it will 99% of the time be better written. I did it with this post, for instance.

G) EMAIL HACK

I do this every day.

I go back seven–10 years in my email history (I store everything).

There are many emails I haven’t responded to. In my inbox (not my spam box), I have 271,109 unread emails at this moment.

I go back to an email I didn’t respond to and I respond as if the email was sent to me five seconds ago.

Like: “Sure, I’ll meet for coffee on Tuesday!”

This almost always results in a new connection/fun meeting/whatever. Note: most jobs.

One time I did this when someone in 2004 sent me an email saying, “Hey, James, I bought you “jamesaltucher.com” for your birthday.”

I finally wrote him in 2010. We’re good friends now AND I own “jamesaltucher.com”.

The longest email response delay I did was 12 years.

H) THE ONE SECOND HAPPINESS HACK

Happiness = Reality / Expectations.

You can’t change your reality quickly. But you can change your expectations in a second.

When my wife left me, I couldn’t change the reality. I couldn’t make her stay.

I was sad, scared, miserable, depressed.

But I could change expectations. I could say, “perhaps this is for the best” and figure out the reasons why and have hope for the future.

I’m not saying it’s easy to do that in a second. But it’s possible. And that changes immediately how happy you can be.

We are all dealt a new hand of cards every few seconds. You play the hand you are dealt instead of whining about it. That’s how to win.

My therapist once told me this. She’s the best.

I) THE 5/25 RULE

This is from Warren Buffett.

He told me this when we were jet-skiing in Hawaii.

He said, “Take your top 25 things you want to do in life.”

Then, “Put the first five to your left and the next 20 to your right.”

“NEVER NEVER NEVER look at the bottom 20 again.”

Why?

Because the bottom 20 are all things you want to do. So they will distract you from the five things you want to do the MOST.

By the way, I was kidding about the jet skiing. That is clearly in his six–10 and not in his top five. And it’s not even in my top 1000.

J) THE LOVABLE RULE

There’s a saying that’s now cliché: “You are the average of the five people around you.”

Fair enough.

Harold Ramis also says, “Stand next to the smartest person in the room.” So he stood next to Bill Murray and made Caddyshack, Stripes, Ghostbusters, and Groundhog Day.

(Sitting next to the smartest person in the room)

Again, fair enough.

But not enough.

BE THE PERSON that people want to stand next to.

Everyone is looking for their five. Everyone is looking for the person to stand next to.

Seth Godin once asked me, “What books do people buy?”

I didn’t know.

He said, “They buy the books that are already on the bestseller table.”

Be the sort of person who is on the bestseller table.

Again, while kite surfing in the Mediterranean, I asked Warren Buffett, “How do you define success?” And he said, “By how many people love you.”

And then he said, before I could ask, “You get people to love you by being lovable.”

K) THE ADVICE HACK

This hack has helped me so much I’m almost afraid to share it.

Let’s say you want something (call it “X”) from a person (call the person “Y”).

Ask Y for advice on how to get X.

For instance, let’s say you get a job offer and you are negotiating a salary. Your new boss asks how much you want to get (he’s trying to get you to put a price first).

Now use the advice hack.

You say, “Listen, I’m good at what I do, which is why you are hiring me. But you are the pro at managing and negotiating. If you were me how would you negotiate here?”

You can even throw in an anchor bias by saying, “If you were me, how would you negotiate here, given that I’ve heard (say very high number) is a reasonable number.”

You’ve just done several things:

Reaffirmed their status above you (everyone likes that)

Anchored them on a high number (you won’t get it but the number you get is now going to play off a high “anchor”).

Asked them to guide you specifically on how to get what you want. Since they are giving the advice, they won’t deny you once you follow it.

I’ve used this when negotiating with customers, investors, bosses, publishers, even getting podcast guests.

And if I get rejected for something important to me, I use this hack. (“What advice would you give me if I wanted to pitch this again to someone like you?”)

I’ve been using this technique for 25 years.

L) LEAVE THE SMARTPHONE AT HOME

Yuval Harari (author of Sapiens) told me he didn’t have a smartphone. I drilled him on this and then I’ve been trying it myself ever since.

The average person touches their smart phone 2,600 times a day!

The average person is using their smart phone for 4 hours and 40 minutes a day!

People think it might help with productivity but it doesn’t. Most of the time we’re checking mindless social media, liking Instagram photos, reading useless news, playing games, etc.

I take a book with me when I go out. So I’m now reading and thinking a lot more.

And when I get home I catch up on my emails and social media messages: since I’m focused on it at that point it takes me just a few minutes instead of spreading it out throughout the day.

I probably save two or three hours a day with this one hack. And I read a lot more and enjoy my downtime more (no pressures to respond to messages all day long).

I have more.

Let me ask you for advice!

I want to build up my Instagram presence. Should I post one hack a day on Instagram? I hope you can follow me there because I post lots of hacks there.

M) “BECAUSE” HACK

This is incredibly useful.

There’s a study that showed that if you say:

“You should pay me more because I will work harder” you are more likely to get a raise than if you just say “You should pay me more.”

BUT EVEN MORE INTERESTING….

People don’t even care what you say after the word “because”. This is the “because placebo”.

If you just say “You should pay me more because you should pay me more” then the results were EXACTLY the same as when you gave a valid reason and still handedly beat out the line “You should pay me more”.

So always use “because” when you are asking for something and you don’t have to have anything after the “because”.

I don’t consider these “life hacks”.

I do these things every day. And I am constantly studying more ways to improve my life.

I love writing. I love doing stand-up comedy. I love succeeding at business and helping people.

I use these tools and many more so I can have more time and opportunities to focus on the things I love.

When I focus on the things I love, I can say I have FREEDOM. The more time per day I am making decisions based on my loves, the more freedom I have.

These “one-minute hacks” give me freedom.

Because.

The post One-Minute Life Hacks appeared first on Altucher Confidential.

The post One-Minute Life Hacks was shared from BlogHyped.com.

Source: https://bloghyped.com/one-minute-life-hacks/

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Yoga

the USA Yoga Federation West Coast Regionals Adult 50+ Gold Medalist, began practicing yoga on a regular basis in 1977, using Richard Hittleman's Introduction to Yoga.  Just before his 59th birthday six years ago, he stopped by the local Hot Yoga studio in Scottsdale, Arizona as “a gift to myself.  I had been curious about hot yoga, stopped in, and have been going ever since,” he reminisced. Mike practices at The Foundry Yoga in Paradise Valley and Old Town Scottsdale, Arizona, training with coach Heidi-Jo Klingman. Despite his very demanding full-time job as a burn surgeon, he prepares for competition in three ways: practicing the classic 90-minute class at least three times a week; taking advantage of other classes (Pilates, HIIT, barre, power yoga) to help build strength and endurance; and taking private lessons with teachers and working on the homework they give him. Mike has been competing for three years. Why did he first get interested? “I did it the first time because I appreciated the challenge and also because I got a lot of encouragement from my teachers,” he explains. “I went to my first regional competition about three years ago.  I fell out of standing bow but found the preparation for the event really helped my focus and my practice.” Other benefits of training? “Not only was I now more focused on the postures in my routine, but I was also conscious of more attention to form and detail on the rest of the 90-minute sequence,” he says.  “Plus, it's a great group of people who compete!” To stay fit, he starts most days with a cup of hot water and lemon juice followed by a Jamba Juice large Greens and Ginger.  He eats a light salad for lunch, and “then I come home and eat whatever my wife puts on the table for dinner.” He has mostly eliminated caffeine and reduced his intake of starches.  He drinks 3 liters of water a day. Other hobbies include hiking and skiing. Mike has worked at burn centers all over the country, including Seattle, Cincinnati, Miami, and Chapel Hill, and have been in Phoenix for the last 10 years. He and his wife have three adult children. “My daughter practices Hot Yoga off and on,” Mike says.  “My youngest son (who is 27) came once.  Unfortunately, I neglected to prepare him for class, and he had a cheeseburger for lunch -- that didn't go so well!”   His advice for yogis considering competition in the 50+ Division? “Try it--there is nothing to lose, and it's a great experience!”

Mara Scaramella: Continually Challenging Herself

by:

Lisa Pafe

Category:

Adult 50+

yogisageless

usayoga

senioryogis

yoga champion

May23

Mara Scaramella has a lot on her plate, but she still finds time to practice and compete, achieving the first-place medal for Arizona Adult 50+ Women for the past three years. Mara is one of the USA Yoga Federation scholarship winners for the 2018 Nationals and is looking forward to the competition in Madison, WI.

“I enjoy going to the competitions – the whole community is really nice and really fun,” she says. “I’m really looking forward to it and am really excited that there are so many Adult 50+ female competitors this year!”

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Cori Crawford Van Oss: A Beautiful Practice

by:

Lisa Pafe

Category:

Adult 50+

yoga champion

usayoga

yogisageless

Apr30

Cori Crawford Van Oss, the Adult 50+ Women’s Gold Medalist for the Southern States Regionals, is looking forward to her first USA Yoga Nationals competition. Age 54, she has practiced yoga for 12 years and is now ready to showcase her skills. “For me, the competition gives me a goal to work for so I’m taking my body as far as it can go in a healthy way,” Cori says.

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Mo Fathelbab: Being Healthy and Living Longer is a Conscious Decision

by:

Lisa Pafe

Category:

Adult 50+

yogisageless

usayoga

senioryogis

Apr16

Mo Fathelbab, the 2018 USA Yoga Mid-West Regionals Virginia champion for the Adult 50+ Men’s Division, is a focused, passionate entrepreneur and devoted yogi. He has practiced for 20 years, primarily Hot 90 style, but considers himself a seasonal yogi.

If the weather is nice, you will find Mo paddle boarding down the Potomac River or outside enjoying nature. If it is snowing, he might be skiing with his wife and son. No matter what though, he practices his competition routine daily to prepare for Nationals.

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For Lisa Pafe, Competition is About Showing Your Perfection

by:

Clara McGrail

Category:

Adult 50+

yogisageless

usayoga

senioryogis

yogaeverydamnday

Apr10

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April Penland

by:

The USA Yoga Team

Category:

Athlete Interviews

yogaathletes

yogacompetition

yogasport

youthyoga

usayoga

yoga champion

Apr02

April Penland went from teaching high school Latin to teaching yoga. On stage April manages to find stillness and grace, attributes she’s acquired through a decade-long, consistent yoga practice. This consistent practice is what earned her first place in this year’s Midwest Regionals. We caught up with her as she traveled to Mexico, Austin, and back to Virginia to teach class and lead workshops.

How did you become involved in yoga? My now husband brought me to my first Bikram yoga class when I was stressed out in college. What year did you start teaching? Officially 2016, though I led advanced classes, competition training, “homework” sessions, and workshops before that. As a teacher, what’s advice you try to give to your students? Try everything without any preconceived beliefs of can and can't, but accept wherever you are.  You're stronger than you think.  You can do anything with practice, time, and patience.  So do more yoga.  Also, remember you don't have to touch your head to your butt to get the therapeutic benefits of the posture.   You also teach youth yogis, particularly for competition. Why do you think yoga is important for children and teens? In my opinion yoga fosters a sense of optimism, teaches calm and patience, and is good for one’s physical (as well as emotional and spiritual) health. How did you become involved with USA Yoga?   About two months after taking my first advanced class, Garland Hume (my former coach, studio owner, teacher, and now-President of USA Yoga) said something to the effect of:  “Hey, we all do this competition thing.  It's so fun.  You should do it.” And I didn't know enough to consider any option other than, “ok.” I discovered she was right though, and I've done competition ever since. Did you see a change in your mindset or approach going from teaching yoga to being a yoga competitor? Hmmm, well I was a competitor first and then a teacher.  I've learned a lot though from being competition oriented about alignment and the kinds of corrections/suggestions that help people progress in both beginner and advanced postures.  One thing that I learned quickly when I first started teaching is that some people don't care about progressing in the postures (they just want to feel better), and in my opinion there is nothing wrong with that.  I'll happily share what I know but respect when students, barring doing something that will cause them to hurt themselves, decide not to listen (it's their class). April, you’re known (at least on my Facebook feed) for your impressive handstands where you push up from a prone position. How did you start doing that? How long has it taken you to get to the point you’re at now? I started with kicking up onto the wall and then eventually took it off and could do a banana back handstand in the middle of the room with a few attempts.  Then I found Adrian McCavitt, saw his handstands, and started going to every class he was teaching here in Richmond, Virginia, that I could—hand-balance and otherwise.  I was straddle pressing within six months, consistently within a year, pike pressing within a year though not consistent at all, and now I can do so pretty consistently.   I taught myself a lot of the crazy shapes and lowering down to various poses (because once you know the technique you just apply it to the new stuff you want to work on).  He is an excellent teacher (I've learned and continue to learn so much), but as he says, your handstand progress is directly proportional to your lack of social life.  I consistently worked on it for a long time everyday over that period of time.  That's the road map. How many years have you competed? Since 2012 I believe, so 6. From all your years of competing, what’s something you would offer as advice to new competitors and what would you offer as advice to people who have been doing it for a few years? New Competitors:  I was lucky to have a coach who emphasized how wonderful and awesome it was just to get up and share your practice.  No matter what happens on that stage, you’re an inspiration to those who witness you. Seasoned Competitors:  Don't take things too seriously.  I've run the whole gambit of placing (I've been first, second-to-last, and all over in between) and at the end of the day it doesn't really matter.  Just get up there and show what you've learned and have fun.  Also I'm of the mindset that I like to see people do well.  So if someone asks me about technique or how I trained something, and I can help them, I tell them.  Maybe this makes me a bad “competitor,” but I'm ok with that because first and foremost I'm a teacher.  Besides, if I ever win first internationally I want it to be because I had the best present moment on stage, not because I stifled someone else's growth.   How often do you do the advanced, 84-posture series? Twice a week. Would you recommend that other competitors vary their practice? Hmmm, depends.  I only did Bikram class for the first 8 years of my practice.  I found vinyasa because I found a teacher I liked and respected.  If something comes up organically that resonates with you and is beneficial, add it.  But don't ever lose your foundation, your “maintenance” practice.  It's most important.  I personally practice a lot and lots of different styles because I like to practice. Is there any type of exercise outside of yoga that you would recommend to people who are competing? Depends.  I do calisthenics and handbalance classes.  I'm considering adding ballet (never too old right) to help with lines, splits, and toe point.  Add what you want if it makes you feel good and is beneficial.   How has yoga enriched your life, what has it brought to you? I'm an introvert and it's really given me a community I can connect with.  It's helped me learn that I can do anything (seriously, anything).  It's helped me manage my anxiety.  It's led to me being a healthier person.  It's taught me to be kind to myself and to take care of myself.  It's lifted my mood.  It's offered me a career I find satisfying, rewarding, and fun.

Nahoko Nakayama: Getting Older Means Getting Stronger

by:

Lisa Pafe

Category:

Adult 50+

yogisageless

usayoga

senioryogis

yoga champion

Mar13

Nahoko Nakayama, Gold Medalist in the Adult Women’s 50+ Division for the Mid-West Regionals, uses age to her advantage. At age 63, her daily yoga practice provides a firm (and flexible) foundation for her success as a yoga competitor.

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USA Yoga Fundraiser: The YogaWorks Fairfax Team Rocks the House

by:

Ainslie Faust

Category:

Fundraisers

yoga champion

usayoga

yogisageless

Feb12

The YogaWorks Team

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Caty Cook: All Things Are Possible

by:

Lisa Pafe

Category:

Athlete Interviews

usayoga

yoga champion

Jan29

After a break last year to relocate from Richmond, VA to Pennsylvania to be closer to family, Caty Cook will be competing once again this year in the Adult 50+ Division. Currently retired from her business career, she teaches and trains with Roxanne Janecki at BYB Binghamton, NY studio, and also works part-time in merchandising at Home Depot.

Why is she competing? “It’s important for me to keep setting goals and competition is a good way to do that,” she says. At age 58, she knows it is important just to keep moving. One of the many benefits of competing is that “you learn from other people that all things are possible and you don’t define yourself by your limitations. You are more accepting of yourself and others.”

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Interview with Bel Carpenter

by:

Ainslie Faust

Category:

Champion Interviews

yoga champion

usayoga

yogasport

yogacompetition

yogaathletes

Jan22

Bel Carpenter has been practicing yoga and meditation since he was a young child. After years of studying asana, pranayama, and meditation, Bel became a yoga instructor in 1996 and opened the first yoga studio in Aspen, Basalt and Glenwood Springs Colorado. He competed every year for the first 10 years of the USA Yoga competition, and International Ghosh Cup. He placed 3rd in the world in 2005 and 2010. Tell me about yourself. I have been teaching yoga, training teachers, and managing one to three yoga studios for 21 years. I have two amazing children, who are the pride and joy of my life. My daughter, Juliana, is 13, and my son, Soren, is 10 and. In 2013 I founded Vimana Yoga, which offers six distinct styles of yoga, from fast paced Vinyasa classes all the way to Yin Yoga, in an integrated system with my ex-wife, Emily. I currently operate White Horse Yoga in Carbondale Colorado, and lead Vimana Yoga Teacher Training intensive‘s around the United States and Canada. How did you become involved in yoga? Swami Satchidananda blessed me at my home when I was a few months old in Boulder, Colorado. I spent a few days at his workshops over the years when I was growing up. He had a special children’s program. I remember being a rowdy kid, sitting there and thinking, “What are all of these people doing, sitting here all day?” But when I met him personally as a seven-year-old, it changed me forever. Were your parents involved in yoga? They were a little involved in it, but my mom’s best friend who was my second mother was a chef for Swami Satchidananda. Growing up in the strong Buddhist and yogic community, Boulder Colorado I was surrounded by enlightening new age practices. When did you start your physical practice? When I was a child, we had a children’s yoga book that was called “Be a frog, a bird, or a tree.” I would stretch and do yoga with both of my parents; my dad more so than my mom because my mom worked so much as a family physician. I loved lotus pose. It was one of those things that I have always practiced. My dad used to take me to the sauna at the University of Colorado’s rec center and he taught me to stretch, and massage my legs. What year did you start teaching? Emily and I attended Bikram’s fourth teacher training in 1996 together, and started teaching right away after that with Radha Garcia.  She told us that it might be Bikram’s last training in the United States, so we had to go, and we did. So, in 1996 you were training and then 2013 you begin your yoga brand; when did you open your first yoga studio? We taught for six months at Radha’s studio in Boulder and then opened our first studio March 15, 1997 in Basalt, Colorado. Emily’s run the studio in Basalt, and I run White Horse Yoga in Carbondale, which opened on July 7, 2007. Wow, a very auspicious date for that! Yes, but the practice of yoga is bigger than numerology. How did you become involved with USA Yoga? It was at the advanced retreat in Maui, in 2003, when I first learned about the competition. Rajashree [Choudhury] asked if we would compete. That was the year that men and women had to compete against each other. Not a good idea to do with your partner! That year I went on with Esak [Garcia] as first and second from the state of Colorado. Did you see a change in your mindset or approach going from teaching yoga to being a yoga competitor? Absolutely. I had a steady practice, but it definitely motivated me to challenge my practice and see what I could do, and be more diligent about it. Whereas earlier, some days I would say, “Yeah, I could go for a hike, go climbing or skiing, or I could look on my practice.” When I started competing, more often than not I would choose to do yoga training. How many years did you compete? About ten years. I think I’ve done about 45 competitions, if you include all the regionals, semi-finals, and finals. How are you affiliated with USA Yoga now? Vimana Yoga has been a business sponsor The last several years, and I have done a few booth at nationals and the super-regionals promoting our teacher trainings and Vimana Yoga. I am excited after a few years off to compete again this year. Have you considered judging or coaching given your vast knowledge of yoga? I would, certainly, but it’s not my thing. If there were a big community of people interested in competing I could be a coach. But I would be too harsh of a judge. Everybody would get zeros! Ha,ha,ha! I’m just kidding. I like to be in the action. From all your years of competing, what’s something you would offer as advice to new competitors and what would you offer as advice to people who have been doing it for a few years? I think just to not take it too seriously. Have fun with it. Use it to motivate your practice and yourself without being too competitive about it. Was there a year when that advice served you particularly well? I always tried to keep it pretty light, and not be too serious about it. In 2008 my son was a month old when I went out for the competition. That year another competitor purposefully distracted me during my routine. I could not believe it. He was on deck right after me in the finals and he stood exactly where my focal point was but he was moving around while I was doing my routine. But, having a baby at home put it all in perspective. I thought, “I’m a dad. I have kids. If it’s not fun, then there’s no point in doing it.” Speaking of your children, do they practice yoga? Oh yeah. The heat is tough for them but they both came and did class two Sundays ago. I teach a stretch class which is a slower gentle flow with some Yin Yoga. Would you ever want to see them get involved in teaching yoga or being competitors? I could see them teaching for sure. We’ve already talked about it actually. My daughter is super into ballet so she dances 10 to 12 hours a week. The cross over is really prevalent, but she needs to work on her upper body and core strength, as well as maintaining alignment in her legs. How often do you do the advanced, 84-posture series? I practice advanced class a few times a year. I am just super into dynamic Vinyasa Flow, Vimana, and our Hot Stretch restorative classes. Would you recommend that other competitors vary their practice? Absolutely. You try to get to the top of the mountain from many different approaches. We tend to get so one-dimensional. I just saw so many injuries after 17 years of people practicing a constant repetition and not having room to explore and to feel their practice. I really learned a lot about how not to do yoga from that. Is there any type of exercise outside of yoga that you would recommend to people who are competing? I think walking and swimming are so important, that we move our body in those natural ways. It is so important and healthy to get out and walk every day. Swimming is really good for the hips and shoulders as well as decompressing and elongating the spine. I also think weight training is really good too if you can focus on specific yoga movements. I offer a Yoga Sculpt teacher training which trains yoga teachers how to integrate high intensity interval training and light weights with yoga philosophy and movements. Using weight is really helpful to get stronger. We need it. My passion is really being outside rock climbing, hiking, camping, skiing, kayaking, or paddle boarding. If I’m working on something in yoga, I want it to be something that will help my life in some way. I want it to be something that contributes to my mind, my passions, or my sleep. It shouldn’t just be, “Oh, I can do this cool pose!” You have to ask yourself, “How does that help my life, and make the world a better place make the world a better place.” How has yoga enriched your life, what has it brought to you? It’s really given me a sense of purpose; having a whole set of really powerful tools to share with people to help them to heal, and be happier and healthier. Having that sense of purpose and being able to be of service to people and the planet is number one. Through the competition I have made so many friends from around the world. Like-minded people who are into yoga, fitness, and health. It is exciting when young people get into the competition. It opens so many positive doors for them. We live in a harsh world right now; we need more tools and more practice creating peace, and overcoming fear.

Leslie Heywood: Professor, Yogi and Life-Long Competitor

by:

Lisa Pafe

Category:

Adult 50+

yoga champion

usayoga

yogisageless

Adult50+

yogasport

yogacompetition

yogaathletes

Jan01

I’ve seen Leslie Heywood compete in the USA Yoga 50+ Division and have marveled at her strength. But until recently, I never knew she is both an academic and a life-long competitive athlete.

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Special Message from our President

by:

Ainslie Faust

Category:

Regional News

yogaathletes

yogacompetition

yogasport

usayoga

Dec22Would you help me change lives this year? As the new president of USA Yoga, I am spending my volunteer time and my personal giving to help people help themselves in a positive way that is accessible to anyone. With your gift this holiday season, you can change the track of a young life, or re-energize someone who has experienced physical or emotional trauma, sadness or poor health.

I know how a dedicated practice can change a life. I experienced renewed purpose and health when I dedicated myself to a regular practice.

But, there are barriers you can take away with your support. Last season, a promising young yogi from New England trained for months to participate in the regional championship.  Because he had difficultly with finances and lost his job, he had to withdraw.

You can give to a fund at USA Yoga that provides scholarships to get committed yogis with need to the championships. You could also provide support for most needed priorities that I will be working on in the year ahead.

Thank you for considering a gift of $50, $100, $125 or $250.

Donate

I deeply appreciate your help.

Warm regards,

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Yoko Jackson: Dedication Pays Off

by:

Lisa Pafe

Category:

Adult 50+

usayoga

yogisageless

Adult50+

Dec04

Look out Adult 50+ Women’s Division! YogaWorks Pure Om Fairfax’s competition team has a new competitor this year who has a beautiful and strong routine. Yoko Jackson has only been practicing yoga for three years, but she brings the commitment and dedication of a true competitor. She is a true demonstration of the old adage that its never too late to start your practice and see real results.

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Inspiring Others

by:

Lisa Pafe

Category:

Regional News

Adult50+

yogisageless

usayoga

yoga champion

Nov07

Paul Moore is a USA Yoga Adult 50+ champion and competitor with a mission. After successfully winning medals in three Nationals and the Gold medal in the 2016 International competition, he is now the man behind the Yogi Road Show, traveling to different studios to inspire others of all ages to compete. Paul has been practicing for more than eight years. He started because of knee pain from an old leg injury due to a car accident. Two weeks of Hot yoga classes made a big difference, so he continued.  “What really keeps me going are the mental benefits - better calmness, life is brighter,” he said. “More recently my practice has started to provide a sense of purpose. Sharing my practice, inspiring others to do the same, gives deeper meaning.” At age 65, he works hard at his day job as a Software Engineer with IBM, but heads to the Hot Yoga Mira Mesa studio every weekday evening at 6:30 PM to practice. On the weekends, he leads an open Advanced Series class on Saturdays, and then takes an Advanced Series class on Sundays. He also takes an occasional Yin class. Paul is a dedicated yogi who rarely takes a day off. Watching and participating in yoga competitions over the past five years has provided a major source of inspiration for his practice.  He enjoys watching the competition routines as well as meeting the yogis and learning of their dedication He has found that competitors work incredibly hard to develop their routines, and that some have had to overcome physical limitations. “It's not just youth and great genetics!” he says. He also studies yoga and recently finished "Yoga, Karma and Rebirth" by Stephen Phillips. One of his favorite yoga books is "Don't Lose Your Mind, Lose Your Weight" by Rujuta Diwekar.  He is taking the author’s advice about mindful eating, incorporating more fruits and vegetables in his diet. He avoids foods that prevent peak performance, though he still enjoys a slice of pizza now and then!

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From Athlete to Judge: Kim Tang

by:

The USA Yoga Team

Category:

Judge's Profiles

usayoga

yoga champion

Oct31

Kim Tang has participated in yoga sport as an athlete, coach, and judge. Here’s why she thinks judging is most important for “giving back.” Kim Tang was no stranger to yoga sport when she began judging competitions in 2015. She felt like her time as a competitor had given her a clear understanding of the rules as they evolved throughout the growth of USA Yoga.  She further refined this knowledge as a coach, and felt compelled that judging would give her an outlet to “give back” to the USA Yoga community through a consistent, fair, and comprehensive understanding of the rules and scoring. As she explains, “I love the event, I love witnessing the essence and personal growth of each competitor in the execution of their routines, and I love the idea that they feel supported and upheld by a familiar face whom they know has personally experienced each aspect of the event.” The knowledge Tang has gained from her time on stage well-positions her to give advice to competitors. For both first-time and long-time athletes, her advice is the same: “Enjoy this! Whether you know it yet or not, it can be deeply  transformational in the scheme of your life regardless of the outcome.” However, she also offers more actionable advice to competitors trying to maintain their balance on stage: Before executing a balance posture like standing head to knee, standing bow, or dancer on stage, athletes should first lock their knee and set their gaze! Also, Tang reminds athletes hoping to compete in Regionals that the fullest execution of a lower difficulty-level posture may yield a higher score than lesser execution of a higher difficulty-level posture. Chose proficiency and mastery: “Select postures that you have nailed down. If you fashion a routine that demonstrates postures you are quite proficient in, not only will you feel more confident and less nervous on stage, but you are far more likely to deliver a clean routine, advancing to the next level!” While Tang is known for her own deep backbends, Goodbye Pose, One Arm Bow Legged Peacock and Bow Legged Mountain, which is why they hold  a special place in her heart, she is hopeful that she will see someone attempt One Legged Chakrasana, a pose she says she has yet to witness being held in stillness on stage. Tang also caught up with us about the video qualifier submission deadlines that are approaching for athletes. Tang explains that video submissions are a great way for athletes to gain experience with their routines, but to make sure they practice their routines in front of an audience many times before the live regional event.

Jamieson Greene: Youth Champion

by:

The USA Yoga Team

Category:

Regional News

yoga champion

usayoga

yogisageless

youthyoga

Oct24

Jamieson (Jamie) Greene, USA Yoga’s 2017 Youth Champion, took home the gold in her first year competing. It’s an impressive showing given the fact that her first competition was in November 2016. Jamie began practicing yoga as an alternative to the traditional team sports that she had been playing for school. She found that she had a natural passion for yoga, and competition seemed like a good outlet for her to continue to improve her practice and share her love of yoga with a wider community. The close-knit yoga community, for Jamie, is what makes yoga sport unique from other athletics. As she explains, “Unlike other sports, everyone [in the yoga community] is very supportive of each other, and while they work to do their personal best, they also want their competition to do their best.” Jamie says that she felt relaxed and calm on stage because she was relieved that, after a buildup of stress and practice, her three minutes to perform had arrived. She does, however, admit that she stays focused on avoiding falling out of her final pose during her routine while she’s on stage. After Jamie competed at regionals, she wanted to try to incorporate Dancer Pose into her Nationals routine. Although she found the pose challenging, particularly in avoiding hyperextending her leg and maintain her balance, she continued to devote practice time to the pose, eventually mastering it for her routine. While Nationals have concluded, Jamie is excited to continue her daily practice and looks forward to competing next year. She also aspires to become a yoga instructor within the next year, bringing her passion for yoga to an even wider community.

Wayne Campbell: Men’s 50+ Champion

by:

The USA Yoga Team

Category:

Champion Interviews

yogisageless

usayoga

yoga champion

Oct16

Two months before Wayne Campbell’s first yoga competition, the 2014-2015 Texas Yoga Asana Championship, he found himself inspired by the five yoga athletes taking the same 84 Advanced Yoga Series Class as him. Seeing their energy, focus, and ambition made him want to compete that year. His fast training paid off when he advanced to the 2014-2015 USA National Yoga Asana Championship that same year. After a few years of competition, Wayne continues to compete to train his body every day and progress further into more advanced yoga poses. This daily practice, however, is something Wayne had to pause in the weeks leading up to the 2017 USA National Yoga Championship. Five weeks before nationals, Wayne strained his Rhomboid muscle, which made it difficult to perform one of his competition poses: Finger Stand. Wayne focused on healing, and paused his yoga practice and training to have chiropractic massages three times a week, and acupuncture and cupping every other week. Additionally, Wayne decided to change Finger Stand Pose for another advanced pose: One Legged Peacock Pose.   Through yoga competition, Wayne has learned the importance of stillness and slow breathing, which helps calm his nervous system, quiets his mind, and keeps his adrenaline low. This stillness is behind Wayne’s perspective on the seconds leading up to taking the stage at Nationals: he considers them calm and beautiful moments. After Internationals, Wayne plans to continue to fine tune his training and prepare for the next year’s Yoga Champion season. He also plans to continue to spend time at home with his girlfriend, Moji, and their Jack Russell Terrier, Max.

Catherine McCauley: Women’s 50+ Champion

by:

The USA Yoga Team

Category:

Champion Interviews

yogisageless

usayoga

yoga champion

Oct09

Catherine McCauley began practicing yoga in 2005 as an alternative to running.  Before long, yoga became part of her. For the past 12 years, her yoga studio in north Texas, run by Stacey Stier Herndon, has been a welcoming community and a haven of support. Catherine started competing in 2008 as a way to dive deeper into the details of the postures. Almost a decade later, competition continues to offer this deeper focus. However, Catherine admits that her own mind is a challenge to overcome through competition. In order to stay focused, she keeps a three-step mantra. First, she focuses on being present. As she explains “I only have this moment; I choose to be here, and I am excited to share her love.” Second, she stays grateful for her body, its abilities, and for her life. Finally, she tries to feel, know, and trust the love of the universe as present at all times.   Through competition, Catherine has been pleasantly surprised to experience what she considers very sincere love, support, and encouragement from her fellow competitors. As she says, “[Competition] really is a beautiful experience and their love and support is such a great example to me, it helps to calm me, realizing it is not about ‘winning,’ it’s about sharing the experience, encouraging others, and doing your best, whatever that is, today. Additionally, through competition Catherine has also learned how much her mind and thinking can impact her performance. It’s a lesson that carries through to other aspects of her personal life. Cautions against coming “from a place of ego,” which can make one fearful and negative. Instead, she promotes coming “from a place of love,” to allow that pure love to shine through.

Adult 50+ Competitor Roxanne Armstrong: No Limitations

by:

Lisa Pafe

Category:

Adult 50+

yogisageless

usayoga

yoga champion

Oct03

Women’s Adult 50+ Bronze medalist Roxanne Armstrong sees getting older as an opportunity, not a limitation. The devoted yogi, Bikram yoga teacher and yoga competitor practices and teaches at Hot Yoga Pasadena, where she learns from both students and teachers such as Jeff Rangel, a former USA Yoga Federation champion.

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Kabir’s Kids Yoga

by:

Kabir Samlal

Category:

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Sep25Kabir’s Kids Yoga

By Kabir Samlal

My personal yoga story starts at the age of five when I had my first yoga lesson in Singapore together with other children. I remember how surprised I was that my body could do so many things, and how enjoyable it was. The teacher let me “fly” in the bow pose and I tried a hand stand. When we moved to India, we did yoga in school, and yoga became something normal to me, something that was part of life. Whenever I was upset or tensed, I took a deep breath. If I wanted to stretch my body, I did so through yoga exercise. Yoga teaches you to understand your body better, and I soon became more aware of my body. For example, it helped me how to avoid injuries for my soccer practice. Also, as a child, I was able to focus and concentrate. Was that on the account of yoga? Who knows, but it definitely contributed to it. Back in Holland I joined my mom in practicing yoga and quickly got into the International yoga competition. Practicing for competition and championships was great fun, and I got to experience great adventures. Especially championships were highly motivating because it was a continuous challenge, and you were working very hard towards a specific goal. I made friends with people from all over the world, many of whom I am still in touch with. However, there were no other children, I was the only one. That was something I would like to have seen differently. Other kids were always curious about my yoga and asked many questions. That gave me the idea to write on kids yoga. It had to be in book format with many illustrations or drawings to make it accessible for young children. I made up a story that was composed of the yoga poses that were my favorites when I was young. With my younger brothers and some of their friends, I tried it on them, and came up with a self-developed flow. In 2014 we moved to the US where yoga is much more present than in Holland; yoga is a real business in the US. You can find a yoga studio on every corner of the street, at least, in the major cities. But also here, you will rarely find children who actively practice yoga. I started teaching yoga to kids, and used my own developed flow, which I named “Kabir’s kids yoga”. Meanwhile, I was also certified to teach yoga. I was only fourteen when I got certified which is very young for a yoga teacher. But at the same time, I did notice that children enjoyed having me as their teacher, exactly for the reason that I was a child myself. Meanwhile, I worked with a graphic illustrator who made drawings from photos of my yoga poses. We worked closely together because I was eager to have the drawings capture what I felt and what I experienced when practicing those specific yoga poses. It was a lot of work consuming much time. At the end, the drawings were restyled to make them more presentable and smooth. I got in touch with a design agency who helped me with the design of the book. I had a clear image of how I wanted the end product to look like. The agency was just on the edge of getting freaked out by my stubbornness (….), but I was very firm on the details. The words and pictures should convey a very specific feeling to the reader with every single pose. Then, in the summer of 2016 –after almost two years- the final version of the book was there! I gave the very first copy to Dev Kapil in Singapore where I got my teacher certification, and he also wrote the foreword. My yoga book has been published in Asia first and was well received. It also received a nice review from the Singapore yoga journal. In the US, there was also some demand for my book. I did a book presentation and the book is now available at various yoga studios. I hope that the book will inspire parents to try out the yoga flow together with their kids, or the other way round. I am now a member of the Youth Committee for USA Yoga with the goal to promote yoga for children. Hopefully, my book will contribute in achieving that goal! One can practice the poses and exercise yoga together with their children by following the flow in the book, thereby inspiring your kids to attend yoga classes. Children cannot go to yoga class on their own, it is the parents who should value yoga and give it priority. From my own experience I can say that I can recall very little from the many times my parents were watching my soccer games from the side line, but I remember vividly when they joined me on the mat to practice yoga!

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New Post has been published on AAW

New Post has been published on http://www.anamericanwarning.com/2017/10/situational-awareness-tips-help-maximize-ability/

Situational Awareness - Tips to Help You Maximize Your Ability

Did you know that there is a National Situational Awareness Day? I didn’t. It is observed annually on September 26th. Looks like we just missed it, but the discovery of this day got me thinking about how many people really have an issue with situational awareness and how many should give it a second look. With the threat of left-wing violence becoming a reality in many cities, it is vital that potential targets take additional steps to ensure their safety. That means you by the way. Big or small, trained or not, everyone should be give this some thought.

So what is it? Situational Awareness is step one when you step out. Situational Awareness is the ability to identify, process, and comprehend the critical elements of information about what is going on in your immediate area. More simply, it’s knowing what is going on around you.

Think about a good spy movie you’ve seen. The hero tends to have this crazy ability to see things coming a mile away. In response, he’s moving at the right time, ducking out when he needs to and attacking when it serves his purposes to do so. Furthermore, he can identify the smallest details and is an amazing student of body language. So what if I told you that it’s not some crazy ability and that you can have those same abilities with a little bit of practice?

The biggest obstacle in achieving these abilities is the desire to do so. Of course, some of us are going to have to make the sacrifice of getting off the phone or looking around once in a while. Also understand that it takes practice and a certain level of paranoia to achieve it, but it can be done. You just have to get in touch with your primal self. It’s not something I get to use a whole lot so let me dust off my security background and education to provide you the following tips in regard to situational awareness.

Remain Calm: Do your best to remain calm at all times. When you are in panic mode, you are not thinking clearly or rationally. Don’t scream, keep your breathing under control and just think.

Look Around: You are not going to notice anything if you are not looking. This doesn’t mean just look up from your phone. You need to observe your environment and know where you are. This means actually looking around. See the door, a window, a bed sheet, a wire, a pen, a mirror, etc. Think about how to use these to your advantage. Notice the people standing by the fountain. What are they doing there? Notice the door that is slightly cracked open. Is someone peering out? How many people are standing in the ally? Is there anyone sitting behind you? Look in that tree to be sure that someone isn’t camped out up there. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you need to thoroughly examine every single detail of everything in your immediate area. Instead, you are merely scanning for oddities and options.

Stay Alert & Avoid Distractions: If you haven’t picked up on the hint quite yet, don’t walk with your head in your phone. If you are with friends, don’t be so engaged that you can’t hear the scuffle of shoes on the pavement in the background. Pay attention to noises, yells, screams, breaks and so on. If you just walked past a group of young thugs, be aware that you are outnumbered and plan for the worst. Scan the area for people running and pay attention to whether they are running from something or playfully running to someone else. Look behind you from time to time if you’re walking in a park or down the road. Noticing something like this before others can put you in the best position to save your life.

Listen to your “Spidey Senses”: When you feel tension, there is probably tension. When something doesn’t feel right, slow down and find out why. If you feel as though someone is following you, there just might be. Your senses are trying to tell you something and if you ignore them, you could be asking for trouble. Sure, sometimes your senses are picking up on something that isn’t a threat, but sometimes your senses are spot on. It’s always better to be safe than sorry.

Read body language: If a guy is puffing up and bellowing out fight words, it’s a pretty good guess that he’s about to start swinging. But what if the cues are little more subtle? If someone has an angry face and is holding something behind their back, you should know that something bad might happen. Watch for clinched jaws. Make eye contact. What is their face saying? What are they looking out for? Are they standing with one side further away from you? Are they distancing themselves from others in their immediate space so as to clear enough room to swing? Are they positioning themselves in such so as to hide from authority? Do they look like they have their hand at the ready next to their belt-line?

Predict the Future: This is not a joke. For those who have read my books or have followed my work closely, you’ve read about or heard me discuss my predictive model. Some of you have even begun to practice it yourselves. You can use this to help you predict the future (sort of). It sounds hard but let me give you an example of how easy this can be when it comes to situational awareness. Let’s say you are sitting down at the diner. You’re sitting next to the window and you look outside. That’s when you see a large man step out of his truck as he pulls a ski-mask over his face. What do you think is about to happen?

Chances are, the diner is about to get robbed. And even if that’s not the case, you can guess that something bad is about to go down. You’ve just predicted the future based on what you were able to pull together. Now you can either escape or fight back; you don’t have to be a victim. The fact that you noticed it before anyone else and before it actually happens gives you the time to make the right decision for yourself. You predicted the future because you picked up on the cues. You can actually practice this and get better at it.

Know your escape routes: You should never enter an area without figuring out some kind of alternate plan to get out. Sometimes the way you came in will not be an option when you leave. Of course, sometimes an alternate door is not an option either. Is there a window? Is there something that can be used as battering-ram or a weapon? I don’t care if you’re at a friend’s house. That’s all the more reason. Ever heard of the Wichita Massacre?

Create a plan and then create another one: When you are scanning, plotting and planning, you need to be aware of your options. The first plan is not always the best one. Maybe your plan is forced to change because of an obstacle. Perhaps there is an even greater danger at the end of your original plan. You need to allow yourself the opportunity to remain fluid. Of course, this requires constant evaluation but it will save your life. Don’t get lazy.

Hide, Fight or Flight: This is very similar to any active shooter scenario. As with any situation, you need to know your options. Ultimately, you have three. You can hide and hope you are not found. You can fight and take your chances. Or, you can run away and live to fight another day. Hiding or barricading yourself into a secure location is sometimes the best option. This can be true if you’re outnumbered or have yourself a clever hiding place. Fighting or standing your ground is sometimes the best option as well. Every scenario is different so you will have to make that judgement call when it presents itself. That being said, having the right tools and having them at the ready greatly increases your chances of survival. Those tools can things like an Addalock, hand to hand combat training, mace or even personal defense strategies such owning and carrying firearms. Finally, avoiding a bad situation before it happens is always the best bet and this is especially true if you are outnumbered or outgunned.

I hope some of these tips help. Just remember that when it comes to situations like the ones I’ve discussed here today, it’s a lot like war; nothing ever goes according to plan. Be calm, be aware and be safe.

Here are a couple of other articles on the topic if you are interested in learning more:

3 Effective Techniques to Train Your Situational Awareness and Recognize Change

A Practical Guide to Situational Awareness

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'Absolutely true!' shouted Rincewind desperately. 'Only this specific troll can't, you see.' 'Can't?' Herrena hesitated. Something of the terror in Rincewind's voice hit her. 'Yes, because, you see, you've lit it on his tongue.' Then the floor moved. Old Grandad awoke very slowly from his centuries-old slumber. He nearly didn't awake at all, in fact a few decades later none of this could have happened. When a troll gets old and starts to think seriously about the universe it normally finds a quiet spot and gets down to some hard philosophising, and after a while starts to forget about its extremities. It begins to crystallise around the edges until nothing remains except a tiny flicker of life inside quite a large hill with some unusual rock strata. Old Grandad hadn't quite got that far. He awoke from considering quite a promising line of inquiry about the meaning of truth and found a hot ashy taste in what, after a certain amount of thought, he remembered as being his mouth. He began to get angry. Commands skittered along neural pathways of impure silicon. Deep within his sili-caceous body stone slipped smoothly along special fracture lines. Trees toppled, turf split, as fingers the size of ships unfolded and gripped the ground. Two enormous rock-slides high on his cliff face marked the opening of eyes like great crusted opals. Rincewind couldn't see all this, of course, since his own eyes were daylight issue only, but he did see the whole dark landscape shake itself slowly and then begin to rise impossibly against the stars. The sun rose. However, the sunlight didn't. What did happen was that the famous Discworld sunlight, which as has already been indicated travels very slowly through the Disc's powerful magical field, sloshed gently over the lands around the Rim and began its soft, silent battle against the retreating armies of the night. It poured like molten gold[4] across the sleeping landscape – bright, clean and, above all, slow. Herrena didn't hesitate. With great presence of mind she ran to the edge of Old Grandad's bottom lip and jumped, rolling as she hit the earth. The men followed her, cursing as they landed among the debris. Like a fat man trying to do press-ups the old troll pushed himself upwards. This wasn't apparent from where the prisoners were lying. All they knew was that the floor kept rolling under them and that there was a lot of noise going on, most of it unpleasant. Weems grabbed Gancia's arm. 'It's a herthquake,' he said. 'Let's get out of here!' 'Not without that gold,' said Gancia. 'What?' 'The gold, the gold. Man, we could be as rich as Creosote!' Weems might have had a room-temperature IQ, but he knew idiocy when he saw it. Gancia's eyes gleamed more than gold, and he appeared to be staring at Weems' left ear. Weems looked desperately at the Luggage. It was still open invitingly, which was odd – you'd have thought all this shaking would have slammed the lid shut. 'We'd never carry it,' he suggested. 'It's too heavy,' he added. 'We'll damn well carry some of it!' shouted Gancia, and leapt towards the chest as the floor shook again. The lid snapped shut. Gancia vanished. And just in case Weems thought it was accidental the Luggage's lid snapped open again, just for a second, and a large tongue as red as mahogany licked across broad teeth as white as sycamore. Then it slammed shut again. To Weem's further horror hundreds of little legs extruded from the underside of the box. It rose very deliberately and, carefully arranging its feet, shuffled around to face him. There was a particularly malevolent look about its keyhole, the sort of look that says 'Go on – make my day . . .' He backed away and looked imploringly at Twoflower. 'I think it might be a good idea if you untied us,' suggested Twoflower. 'It's really quite friendly once it gets to know you.' Licking his lips nervously, Weems drew his knife. The Luggage gave a warning creak. He slashed through their bonds and stood back quickly. 'Thank you,' said Twoflower. 'I think my back'sh gone again,' complained Cohen, as Bethan helped him to his feet. 'What do we do with this man?' said Bethan. 'We take hish knife and tell him to bugger off,' said Cohen. 'Right?' 'Yes, sir! Thank you, sir!' said Weems, and bolted towards the cavemouth. For a moment he was outlined against the grey pre-dawn sky, and then he vanished. There was a distant cry of 'aaargh'. The sunlight roared silently across the land like surf. Here and there, where the magic field was slightly weaker, tongues of morning raced ahead of the day, leaving isolated islands of night that contracted and vanished as the bright ocean flowed onwards. The uplands around the Vortex Plains stood out ahead of the advancing tide like a great grey ship. It is possible to stab a troll, but the technique takes practice and no-one ever gets a chance to practise more than once. Herrena's men saw the trolls loom out of the darkness like very solid ghosts. Blades shattered as they hit silica skins, there were one or two brief, flat screams, and then nothing more but shouts far away in the forest as they put as much distance as they could between themselves and the avenging earth. Rincewind crept out from behind a tree and looked around. He was alone, but the bushes behind him rustled as the trolls lumbered after the gang. He looked up. High above him two great crystalline eyes focussed in atred of everything soft and squelchy and, above all, warm. Rincewind cowered in horror as a hand the size of a house rose, curled into a fist, and dropped towards him. Day came with a silent explosion of light. For a moment the huge terrifying bulk of Old Grandad was a breakwater of shadow as the daylight streamed past. There was a brief grinding noise. There was silence. Several minutes passed. Nothing happened. A few birds started singing. A bumblebee buzzed over the boulder that was Old Grandad's fist and alighted on a patch of thyme that had grown under a stone fingernail. There was a scuffling down below. Rincewind slid awkwardly out of the narrow gap between the fist and the ground like a snake leaving a burrow. He lay on his back, staring up at the sky past the frozen shape of the troll. It hadn't changed in any way, apart from the stillness, but already the eye started to play tricks. Last night Rincewind had looked at cracks in stone and seen them become mouths and eyes; now he looked at the great cliff face and saw the features become, like magic, mere blemishes in the rock. 'Wow!' he said. That didn't seem to help. He stood up, dusted himself off, and looked around. Apart from the bumble bee, he was completely alone. After poking around for a bit he found a rock that, from certain angles, looked like Beryl. He was lost and lonely and a long way from home. He — There was a crunch high above him, and shards of rock spattered into the earth. High up on the face of Old Grandad a hole appeared; there was a brief sight of the Luggage's backside as it struggled to regain its footing, and then Twoflower's head poked out of the mouth cave. 'Anyone down there? I say?' 'Hey!' shouted the wizard. 'Am I glad to see you!' 'I don't know. Are you?' said Twoflower. 'Am I what?' 'Gosh, there's a wonderful view from up here!' It took them half an hour to get down. Fortunately Old Grandad had been quite craggy with plenty of handholds, but his nose would have presented a tricky obstacle if it hadn't been for the luxuriant oak tree that flourished in one nostril. The Luggage didn't bother to climb. It just jumped, and bounced its way down with no apparent harm. Cohen sat in the shade, trying to catch his breath and waiting for his sanity to catch up with him. He eyed the Luggage thoughtfully. 'The horses have all gone,' said Twoflower. 'We'll find 'em,' said Cohen. His eyes bored into the Luggage, which began to look embarrassed. 'They were carrying all our food,' said Rincewind. 'Plenty of food in the foreshts.' 'I have some nourishing biscuits in the Luggage,' said Twoflower. 'Traveller's Digestives. Always a comfort in a tight spot.' 'I've tried them,' said Rincewind. They've got a mean edge on them, and —' Cohen stood up, wincing. 'Excushe me,' he said flatly. 'There'sh shomething I've got to know.' He walked over to the Luggage and gripped its lid. The box backed away hurriedly, but Cohen stuck out a skinny foot and tripped up half its legs. As it twisted to snap at him he gritted his teeth and heaved, jerking the Luggage onto its curved lid where it rocked angrily like a maddened tortoise. 'Hey, that's my Luggage!' said Twoflower. 'Why's he attacking my Luggage?' 'I think I know,' said Bethan quietly. 'I think it's because he's scared of it.' Twoflower turned to Rincewind, open-mouthed. Rincewind shrugged. 'Search me,' he said. 'I run away from things I'm scared of, myself.' With a snap of its lid the Luggage jerked into the air and came down running, catching Cohen a crack on the shins with one of its brass corners. As it wheeled around he got a grip on it just long enough to send it galloping full tilt into a rock. 'Not bad,' said Rincewind, admiringly. The Luggage staggered back, paused for a moment, then came at Cohen waving its lid menacingly. He jumped and landed on it, with both his hands and feet caught in the gap between the box and the lid. This severely puzzled the Luggage. It was even more astonished when Cohen took a deep breath and heaved, muscles standing out on his skinny arms like a sock full of coconuts. They stood locked there for some time, tendon versus hinge. Occasionally one or other would creak. Bethan elbowed Twoflower in the ribs. 'Do something,' she said. 'Um,' said Twoflower. 'Yes. That's about enough, I think. Put him down, please.' The Luggage gave a creak of betrayal at the sound of its master's voice. Its lid flew up with such force that Cohen tumbled backwards, but he scrambled to his feet and flung himself towards the box. Its contents lay open to the skies. Cohen reached inside. The Luggage creaked a bit, but had obviously weighed up the chances of being sent to the top of that Great Wardrobe in the Sky. When Rincewind dared to peek through his fingers Cohen was peering into the Luggage and cursing under his breath. 'Laundry?' he shouted. 'Is that it? Just laundry?' He was shaking with rage. 'I think there's some biscuits too,' said Twoflower in a small voice. 'But there wash gold! And I shaw it eat shomebody!' Cohen looked imploringly at Rincewind. The wizard sighed. 'Don't ask me,' he said. 'I don't own the bloody thing.' 'I bought it in a shop,' said Twoflower defensively. 'I said I wanted a travelling trunk.' 'That's what you got, all right,' said Rincewind. 'It's very loyal,' said Twoflower. 'Oh yes,' agreed Rincewind. 'If loyalty is what you look for in a suitcase.' 'Hold on,' said Cohen, who had sagged onto a rock. Wash it one of thoshe shopsh – I mean, I bet you hadn't noticed it before and when you went back again it washn't there?' Twoflower brightened. 'That's right!' 'Shopkeeper a little wizened old guy? Shop full of strange shtuff?' 'Exactly! Never could find it again, I thought I must have got the wrong street, nothing but a brick wall where I thought it was, I remember thinking at the time it was rather —' Cohen shrugged. 'One of those shops[5],' he said. That explainsh it, then.' He felt his back, and grimaced. 'Bloody horshe ran off with my linament!' Rincewind remembered something, and fumbled in the depths of his torn and now very grubby robe. He held up a green bottle.