#his strength was also shown to be his weakness (he couldn't sleep because he was too inspired lmao) and that he's easily startled

[redgearsmovin]

so rich is a jock basically, being good at sports and athletic and winning like a heck ton of trophies lol, but he's also like, himbo with how silly and nice he is at times too

[fantasy-nerdddd]

Recall what Finnick said in Catching Fire: "No one in this arena was a victor by chance. Except maybe Peeta."

Well, unpopular (?) opinion, but that is the furthest from the truth Finnick could be. Finnick meant that Peeta won because of his strategy, not because he killed the rest of the tributes. Basically, Katniss gave both of them the win by killing Cato, and Marvel, and Glimmer, and the girl from 4. And the first time I read the trilogy, I agreed. But now, I understand the nature of The Hunger Games. To survive, you don't need to be exceptionally strong, although strength does matter. It's to present the Capitol with a compelling story. To have a strategy shown at the interviews, so hopefully the audience will want to see that storyline unravel. As long as you keep them interested, you keep yourself alive. Rich people will sponsor you and the Game makers are less likely to make your life a living hell, because they'd be afraid of the backlash. That means, you would only die in a fight. But still, your opponent might be injured, exhausted, starving, dehydrated, weaponless and so on. You still have an edge.

And who used that to his advantage? The weakness of the audience for unique, convincing stories? Peeta. He introduced and sold the idea of the love story. He manipulated everyone, even the Game makers, into believing the story in a largely fake TV show. And yes, it was real for him and arguably Katniss too in some degree, but it doesn't matter. The strategy worked. They got sponsors. Katniss was only caught in the fire so she'd get closer to the Careers, to cause more drama. They didn't intend for her to die. The rules changed for them, for the first time in history. They got to a feast that, unlike the others, had medicine and not just food, just for Peeta to survive and for the story to continue. In the end, the Gamemakers chose for them to live just so they'd have more of the love story. All because Peeta had a god-like strategy. And yes, strength is vital, but Peeta was strong, he survived against Cato while having 5 tracker jacker stings. And yes, Cato was also stung, but Katniss, with 3 tracker jacker stings couldn't even move without someone pushing her to.

Finnick, on the other hand, was just your regular Career. Nothing special, except the talent of making people want to sleep with him. And that is mainly genes. He was objectively attractive, and that was pure luck. That's why he had a ton of sponsors. That's why he got a trident for a gift. Because he was born attractive and girls fell for him. He's the Victor that won by chance. Not the star-crossed lovers. Not a girl pretending to be weak. Not a singer. Not a tribute good with camouflage (the Morphlings from district 6). Not an arrogant resourceful boy that used his surroundings to his advantage. A pretty face. Hey, don't complain I am solely focusing on the Games, not the absolutely disgusting aftermath

Finnick thought that Peeta won by chance because that's what he was taught. Violence means Victory. The more people you kill means Victory. Use the interviews to assert dominance. Not to make people look at you with sympathy. Make them look at you with fear. That's the Careers. One-sided kids trained to be killing machines. But, when someone to root for comes in the picture, this whole thing fails. Because no one wants to see an 18 y/o kill mercilessly when the other option is two teenagers in a battlefield defying all odds and being in love. Bring pride to your district by proving yourself to be the strongest. Not survive by infiltrating and ultimately betraying the alliance you are taught to fear. Get a good score so no one will interrupt you while you hunt the other tributes down. Not play weak until the final six.

The other district's Victors tend to be more memorable. And look at the tributes for the. 75th Hunger Games: The brother and sister. The girl who ripped another tribute's throat out. The two geniuses. The crazy girl (Not Mags; Mags volunteered). The pretty face. The camouflaged. The weakling. And of course, the star-crossed lovers. You can tell them apart. Johanna can easily find nicknames. That's what they want. Storylines to follow, memorability not to forget.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

Edit: Heeyyyy, I might have fucked up a little with my wording on Finnick's paragraph. I am not trying to downgrade pedophilia anon, just saying that he didn't work hard to win the hunger games, and he had it harder after his Games. I was solely focusing on the Games, not the follow up. Also, yes Finnick did use the arena to make nets, but let's be real the nets weren't his biggest advantage a FUCKING TRIDENT was.

[gatitties]

Hi!!

i hope your having a good day/night! I don't know if you're comfortable with writing angst but if you are, can you plases make a fic where zoro dumps y/n really mean and sanji comforts y/n? Thank you!! if you can't its also fine!

─Sanji x reader

─Summary: Hurt by the behavior of one of your companions, Sanji makes his way into your heart to heal it.

─Warnings: zoro is and asshole in this one

I'm fine with writing angs!! but I don't know if I'm good at it, it's not something I usually write a lot 😓

You watched the barely visible waves at night, everyone was already asleep when you decided to go out on the deck to vent your discomfort a little, you didn't want to bother anyone with your problems right now, just release some accumulated bad energy.

Although you ended up diverting your thoughts to all those times Zoro belittled you, looked down on you, and made you feel tiny compared to everyone else, you didn't know the reason for his aggressive behavior towards you when you started out well, but you had to swallow and continue with the dirty looks and passive-aggressive comments towards you.

It began to affect your way of being, you changed some of your aspects because of him, because of his comments, because of the venom he spat in every sentence directed towards you, you did not have the courage or enough strength to return the shit he was doing to you, you decided to sink into your misery slowly, you were not going to change his behavior out of nowhere and if he was not going to give in to have a smooth relationship, you had nothing to do there.

You decided to ignore him and avoid him most of the time, you stopped listening to his comments towards you, his looks, for you he no longer existed and yet, here you are now, shedding hot tears while your mind plays with you, stabbing your heart with all the bad moments you had experienced, squeezing out every last offensive comment. He didn't deserve you, but here you are, thinking of possible solutions to fix a broken relationship when little interest had already been shown, you should have known better.

"Looks like I'm not the only one who couldn't sleep, huh?"

You almost choked on your own saliva, not expecting anyone to show up at this time of night, you sniffled, wiping your eyes, taking too long to turn around and face the blonde who seemed confused by your behavior. He took a drag on his cigarette, deciding not to ask why your eyes were red and swollen.

"Yeah, I couldn't fall asleep, too many thoughts that don't let me sleep."

You partially lied, looking towards the empty sea again, trying to hide your fallen face in a subtle way, although Sanji had already seen everything he needed to see, he sighed leaning on the railing next to you, silence took over the atmosphere for a few minutes that seemed eternal to you, he knew it and you knew that he knew it, but Sanji decided to let you be the one to take the first step as long as you wanted to talk about what was bothering you, he wasn't going to pressure you.

The silence was killing you, even though you weren't being pressured, you were carrying a lot of weight on your shoulders, a lot of bad thoughts and worries. When you looked up you found the cook's profile, he looked back at you, a look full of understanding, patience and softness, a reassuring look, you felt weak when you looked at him.

"I…" you began muttering, he focused all his attention on you, rubbing your shoulders slowly, you felt even worse, letting all the contained emotions spill out again in the form of silent crying "I don't know what to do, I've tried everything, but he doesn't… I don't think- I don't think it works anymore."

You broke right there, breaking into little pieces in front of Sanji, he brought you into a tight hug as he rubbed circles on your back, he didn't say anything as you cried, clinging to him like a lifeline.

"It's okay, everything will be fine, things will get better, I'm here with you."

He whispered softly, trying to calm your sobs and tremors, he waited patiently until you unburdened yourself, he listened to every word, every complaint, every cry, he didn't need to speak so you knew that no matter what happened, he would always be there for you, to kick the shit out of Zoro's moss head, to collect and put back together the pieces of your broken heart, to heal emotional wounds without asking for anything in return.

"Thank you Sanji."

You tightened the hug one last time before separating, your face still had tear marks running down your cheeks, but now your mind was calm and your lips had a slight smile.

"You don't have to thank me for anything, I will always be here if you need me."

He smiled at you once more, softening your heart again, you returned the gesture with a brighter smile, surely you weren't going to forget so easily the pain that Zoro caused you, but at least now you could calm your worries temporarily.

[storytowrite]

|The Ghost of you ~ Han Jisung|

Paring: Han Jisung x reader

Genre: angst, fluff

Warnings: swearing

Word Count: 2,100

Summary: after winning a night race you decided to do revange on your ex boyfriend and his friends.

Authors note: this story is connected to the previous one called |Drive| - you don't have to read it if you don't want to, but I mentioned some events that happened in |Drive|. Please enjoy and I hope you liked it.

-------------------------

Han was looking for you. He was searching everywhere he could. He was so obsessed to the point he couldn’t sleep and stopped eating. But you were nowhere to be found. Deep inside he knew he’d lost you forever. Memories of the two of you swirled in his head. He was no longer the same person, as he used to be. 

He dreamt. He dreamt of holding you in his arms and kissing you softly. He dreamt of going to dates and spending time together. He dreamt of your sweet touch and soft whispers. He dreamt because without you, he couldn't fully live. Losing you felt like losing a part of himself. 

He felt lost and lonely. Day by day passed and he couldn't find a peace of mind. You were his only and true love. After your death nothing felt the same. He wasn’t the same. Sometimes he wished that that night hadn’t happened. That your motorbike didn’t burn down. That it was him, who died that night. 

The accident had happened four years ago, but he still was in sorrow. He mourned you almost every day. His friends were worried about him. They could sense that something was off. Han’s obsession started to make him a miserable man. The longer he thought about you, the more miserable he was. 

Little did he know that you were not dead. You didn’t die that night. You were badly injured though. Your whole body was now covered by scars after the burns. When you looked at your own reflection in the mirror, you felt nothing but disgust. You hated how your body looked. The fire hadn’t touched your face though. Thankfully. But the scars started from your neck and ended at your upper thigh. 

That was the reason why you rarely wore anything else than a turtleneck and long sleeves. You haven’t shown your body since the accident happened. It was hard for you. You always loved revealing clothes but now, you weren’t able to wear them. Your confidence totally disappeared and because of that, you were afraid of meeting him again.

—————————

After winning the night race a week ago you didn’t feel any better. You were spying on Han and his friends. Only God knows how much you missed them. How much you missed HIM. He was your light, always making you feel special and smile. But you weren’t going to admit it to yourself or anyone. 

Han dragged you nearly everywhere he could, but you didn’t mind. You loved every second with him. You became friends with his friends, which made you a part of the family, as they liked to say. With them by your side you no longer felt lonely. 

But it was the past. The present was different. All of them thought that you were dead. They didn’t search for you - or at least you didn’t know about that. Actually it was their fault. The accident was caused by one of their enemies. They somehow found out that you were dating Han and since they wanted to destroy him, they targeted you.  

But you managed to survive and since you took your revenge on those who wanted to kill you, you had to take revenge on Stray Kids too. After all, it was also their guilt. So your plan was pretty simple. You just wanted them to feel as though they lost their luck. You knew all of their weaknesses and strengths so it wasn’t easy. 

The first target was obviously Han. You crushed his whole confidence by winning the race with him. But you weren’t done just yet. You knew losing the race was devastating to him so you decided to give him some time. But you were going to hurt him even more. 

The second target was Changbin. He was the best mechanic of all. So the plan was easy. You had to destroy his reputation. You waited in front of his car repair shop. He was going for dinner with his two other friends - Hyunjin and Felix. When he left, you simply broke into his workshop and started tinkering with the vehicles he was repairing. At first sight they looked like they were repaired - so he would have to check them once again, to find anything and you just knew that he was not going to. 

You were about to leave the place when you suddenly stopped in front of the wall where Changbin hung all the photos of his friends. Your curiosity won and you spotted yourself in the middle. Under your picture there was an inscription my beloved friend. Back then you and Changbin had a pretty strong bond. He was like an older brother to you. You trusted him and knew that you could rely on him as much as he could rely on you. 

You sighed heavily when the memories hit you. With no hesitation you took the picture leaving the empty space in the middle of Changbin’s collection and then you left the workshop. You went straight to your hiding place. At the same time Changbin and his friends came back. You could hear their laugh. 

“Hey hyung, thanks for dinner.” You heard Felix’s deep voice. 

“Yeah, thanks man.” Hyunjin added and smiled at Changbin. 

“It was my pleasure la… Huh? That’s weird.” Changbin said , raising his eyebrow and looking at the wall. 

“What’s wrong hyung?” Felix asked. 

“Someone was here. Look.” He pointed to the empty spot. “Here was Y/N’s picture. Someone took it.” You were surprised how perceptive Changbin was. Also you gave yourself a mental facepalm. Your curiosity led you to stealing the picture. You couldn’t resist.  “Hyunjin, please call Chan and the rest. Something’s off, I can sense it.” 

Hyunjin called for Chan and the rest and Changbin started searching for some footprints in his workshop. Felix went outside to look there. Your hiding place was far enough so they couldn’t see you, but you still felt the adrenaline in your system. You didn’t want them to find you, just yet. 

After about twenty minutes the rest of the Stray Kids gang arrived. All of them looked much more mature than you remembered. Some of them Changed their hair colour or had more piercings than before. You couldn’t take your eyes off of them. They were too handsome to handle. 

“What’s wrong?” You heard Chan’s voice. “Why did you call for us Bin?” 

“Someone was here.” Changbin quickly said. “And took Y/N’s picture…” 

“Are you sure?” Han suddenly asked. “Which picture?” 

“Your favourite… I’m sorry Han.” Changbin answered genuinely.

“Have you found anything? Or have you checked the CCTV cameras?” Chan asked. 

“No, not yet… But I was going to.” 

“Okay. Seungmin! Take IN and go check the cameras. Felix, Hyunjin and Changbin go and check inside once again. Minho, Han and I will look here. If anyone finds anything, call others.” Chan commanded. 

To be honest you forgot about the CCTV cameras. You were so focused on your revenge that you lost your concentration for a while. The one, stupid mistake can cause you more than anything. 

“Hey hyung!” You’ve suddenly heard Hyunjin’s voice as he went out of the building. “I think I’ve found something.” 

“Huh? What is it, Hyun?” Chan asked. The tall boy handed him something, but you couldn’t tell what it was until you suddenly realised. You lost your bracelet, which Han gave you for your first anniversary. The gold bracelet with his initials that you were wearing since then and never took off. You closed your eyes. Another stupid mistake you’ve made today. 

“What is it?” Han suddenly asked. “No. It can’t be…” He couldn’t believe his eyes and took the bracelet from Chan. On his face there was nothing then shock. He was looking at the gold jewellery with wide eyes open. 

“It hers, isn't it?” Minho asked calmly. 

“Y-yes.” Han stuttered. 

“Hey, guys? I think you have to come and see this!” Suddenly Seungmin called them. All the six boys went straight towards him. 

“What is it, Min?” Chan asked. 

“Well… Apparently ghosts can take things.” The boy said, showing them probably the footage of you that the camera recorded. “And this ghost looks like it’s pretty alive.” 

All of them were in shock. How was it even possible that you were alive? They couldn’t believe it, but they had all the footage. Your two stupid mistakes made your whole plan collapse. You had to think about something new. You sighed angrily and left the area where Changbin’s car repair shop was. You needed to change your plans.

—————————

The week passed and you still didn’t have any plan. You knew they were looking for you, but thankfully your hidden place was far away from their district. They could never find you if you didn’t want that. You could feel safe, but at the same time you felt bad. Deep inside your heart you didn’t want to hurt them. 

But you made a decision. You had to. Otherwise Han Jisung, your ex boyfriend and the love of your life would never learn. He was too egocentric to understand. So now, revenge is on your side. Hurt or not, you had to do it. Just for your own sake. 

You looked at the clock and decided to go for a ride. The time was perfect, it was midnight after all, so the streets would be empty. You went to the garage and sat on your motorcycle. You started it and just drove straight, not even looking at the destination.

You remembered the way. It was like a muscle memory. You just knew that your motorbike would find a way. The final destination was peaceful. It was the spot that you and Han used to visit often. You were having a picnic there and looking at the panorama of the city. 

But now, you were alone. No one was with you. You sighed heavily. It was hard for you too. You wanted to forget, but you couldn’t. Suddenly you heard the sound of another motorbike. You wanted to hide, but it was too late.  

“It’s really you…” You heard the familiar voice. “I couldn’t believe that…” You said nothing, standing there in front of HIM and staring at him. But your eyes were empty. “Y/N say something!” 

“Why are you here?” You asked quietly. 

“Wha… I haven’t seen you for fucking four years and that’s the only thing you are able to say?! Why am I here?! Because I’m fucking missing you!” He raised his voice. “I thought that you were dead! You let me believe that you are dead… Why?” 

“Because I was dead! And for you? I still am.” You replied angrily. 

“What did I do to you?! Do you know how much pain I felt after the accident?! I was mourning for months… I still do it! But apparently you didn’t love me that much as I thought.” 

“Don't blame me! The accident was your fault!” You couldn’t stop your tears that had formed in your eyes. “It was you! Your fault! They did it because of you and your fucking races!” 

“What are you talking about Y/N?” He looked at you confused. “Baby,  tell me please.” 

“They wanted to kill me because of you! Because you couldn’t give at least one race! They found out that I was your girlfriend and…” You couldn’t say anymore because you started crying. He looked at you shocked. He had no idea. 

Han stepped a few steps towards you and wrapped his arms around your whole body. He hugged you tightly. You couldn’t help and just hugged him back leaning on him and crying. He let you cry on his shoulder and wet his shirt. He gently stroked your back. You missed him, you really did. And he missed you. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” He said. “I really am.” His voice was calming you. “You have no idea how much I missed you. Baby, I’m so, so sorry…” He pulled away from you to look you in the eyes. “Please, forgive me… and come back home… come back to me.”

“But I…” You started but he didn’t let you finish. 

“It doesn’t matter now… Now, you are here, with me.”  

So your revenge didn’t work. You couldn’t do it to him, you loved him too much. And you knew that he loved you too. After all, the both of you spent quite a long time together. You decided to go back to him. It wasn’t easy, but in the end, you just came back home.  

-------------

masterlist

[countlessrealities]

If she has to be honest, Vaggie hasn't thought about Niffty at all. Even in hindsight, though, she can be mostly sure that the maid won't be an issue. She's bound to Alastor and he can keep her in line...somehow.

As for Lucifer, well...Something tells her that he and Adam are already working on an "arrangement", but perhaps that's something she'll wait to mention to Charlie. She doesn't want to lie to her even more, but she wants to be absolutely certain before dropping that sort of bomb on the princess.

"He will be safe," are the first words that tumble out of her mouth, spoken with much more force than one would expect. "Safer than out there, and safe in general. I'll personally make sure of it. As for his comfort...He'll take is time with that. In the meanwhile, he can hang out with me."

The determination she has shown, however, quickly disappears as Charlie's distress becomes more and more apparent. The ill feeling in the pit of her stomach returns, stronger than before, and she finds himself forced to grit her teeth to suppress the urge to choke. She keeps making it worse, the more she admits the more messed up it gets. The princess is mad at her, as she should be, and no matter how much it hurts, her anger and mistrust is what she deserves.

She's been selfish. She's abused Charlie's kindness. She's no better than anyone who has ever caused her sorrow. No, she is worse, because she has betrayed her love too.

All she wants is to apologise and bow her head, be punished for her mistakes. The new ones, but also the old ones. However, when her girlfriend is the one to say "sorry", everything becomes just too much to keep it bottled up.

"IT'S NOT ABOUT TRUST!" She yells, startling even herself, voice laced with desperation. Yet, despite the strength of her feelings, she looks exhausted.

...Fuck, she hadn't meant to blow up. She needs to get her shit together.

"It's not about trust," she repeats more quietly, sucking in another deep breath. "I know I fucked up. Badly. And I knew that I was fucking up more and more with every decision I took since this whole thing started. I couldn't talk to you about it. Not until I had fixed it. Not until I had made it into something you could work with and accept and be proud of."

Because that was all that mattered. Everything she did, everything she was, it had to be worth of Charlie.

"The truth is...it was easy when he was up there and I was down here. I was glad Niffty had killed him, because it would have meant that I wouldn't have to deal with everything I'm feeling right now."

She hugs herself, eyes dropping on the floor. Her eye is burning with unshed tears, but she won't allow herself to cry.

"Adam was my best friend. I've never been that close to someone before meeting him. We were inseparable, in a way. The kind of friends who sleep in the same bed and bathe together naked. He was my confidante, the one I relied on. I loved him."

The last three words burn her throat as she speaks then and she can't stop herself from choking on them.

"Lute was the one to take my eye and wings, but Adam ripped my heart out that day. I...I didn't tell you because it's too much. I'm so confused, I'm happy to have him back, but it guts me to see him and it hurts so bad and I can't..."

She cuts herself off, shaking her head. That's no excuse for her behaviour, for the lies, for the secrets.

"...He makes me weak. And how can I help you, how can I protect you if I'm such a mess? Since I fell, you have been my only reason for living. I meant it when I said that there's no point to me if I can't make your dreams and wishes a reality. There's nothing else for me in any world."

She furiously wipes her cheek, furious at the tears that have started to leak against her will.

"It's the reason why I couldn't find the courage to tell you who I was. It's not that I didn't trust you, it's...I'm a monster, Charlie!" He voice starts to rise again and she punches the wall, hard enough to make her knuckles bleed. "I killed thousands of sinners! I didn't...I wanted you to know who I am, not what I was. And I thought that maybe, if I left it all behind, I could have become someone worth of standing in your presence. But..."

She stares down at the glowing liquid staining her skin.

"I can't change what I am. I can't be redeemed."

   Despite being hurt, she doesn't want Vaggie to feel like she has to make up for the wrongs. Instead, she wants to talk through them and reach an understanding. Then again, Charlie was known to be patient and understand things, that things aren't easy to share, especially moreso after her talk with Rosie. 

   It's probably best Vaggie didn't say that, for more than one reason. While Charlie understands the hate for the former leader of the exorcists, she also knows that as it currently stands, they're no better than the angels. She also silently fears that there may be another war depending on what the Seraphim decides to do.

" Oh. Uh. Do you think it's safe here for him? You know, with Niffty and my Dad being around? Plus what about the fact it might make him uncomfortable? I .. I don't want to push him to stay here unless he really wants to. I'd like to help redeem him but it has to be his choice too. "

   Pressing her lips into a thin line however, she feels conflicted about anyone making a deal with Adam. Especially to make him stay at the Hotel. Brows furrowing slightly, her tone becomes a little more stern as she speaks.

" I won't allow him to be forced. I understand you're trying to help, but this Hotel is for people to make a choice to stay here and improve on their own. If we force him to stay that just makes us worse in the end. I .. "

   Standing up, Charlie starts to pace, gradually becoming angry the more she processes what Vaggie's told her. A deal to force Adam to stay and on top of that Vaggie made a bet on who would end up making a deal with the former angel? She's trying not to get angry, really she's not, but the pacing increases as she gestures wildly.

" I can't believe you'd ..! Vaggie why would you do something you know I'd be against?! This isn't okay, none of this is okay. The only thing that's okay is that you're trying to encourage him to come to the Hotel for redemption. Why didn't you talk to me about this first? Why didn't you talk to me? I thought we were supposed to trust each other with everything? Or was I not worth talking to about something this important like it wasn't important to tell me that you were a former exorcist? "

   There's silence as she stops, turning her head away from Vaggie. 

" I'm sorry .. I just .. wish you'd trust me a little more and talk to me instead of doing these things behind my back .. "

[wasteofpain]

a trait of pete's that has consistently intrigued me is his capacity to adapt to any given situation. it's shown very early on through little things, most notably pete's advices to porsche about living in the main family's mansion, which are basically do as you're told and follow the rules. that easy.

the rules to surviving are observe and adapt.

observe

adapt

observe

adapt

often in media, abuse victims who adapt to their situation and create ways to live around that abuse just so they can make it through another day are portrayed as weak, as the side character to the rebellious one who fights back and doesn't just take it. but reality is, more often than not, if you're the rebellious kind all that will do for you is get you killed. and so growing up the way he did, pete probably had to learn this the hard way.

when he's caught by vegas and macau in the temple, although he hesitates a little (mostly for comedic effect), he goes with it. he makes merits with vegas and does very little fighting back against his creepiness.

when he's on his phone with his grandmother while tied up and spent from being tortured he still menages to recompose himself in a very impressive way and build a convincing enough version of himself that won't worry her.

this is a dance that he has perfected.

observing as a way of survival is also how he's aware of who vegas is from very early on. pete has always sensed that there was something rotten behind the charismatic human mask vegas wears. so when he's kidnapped, he knows what to expect.

but this time there's no surviving each day,

he's going to die.

or at least that's what's supposed to happen.

his suicidal defiance must feel so cathartic after a lifetime of adapting. to laugh in vegas's face and dare him with his eyes to do his worst.

but pete is still the same pete who was beat as a child by a father who couldn't deal with his own failures like an adult.

so when vegas chokes him and throws hurtful words around as if he wasn't looking at pete like he was the sun not that long ago, he adapts to the situation.

this is when i die

he was already having a crisis before vegas came into the room. the shame had set in and he was questioning every choice he's made so far, no longer just living in the moment. vegas's outburst just confirmed things.

so now the situation is, pete has a chance to die. vegas has a knife against his throat and maybe, just maybe, he might kill him this time. it's a chance he can't miss out on. no more fantasies of surviving, life has thrown at him that he can finally die and he feels like shit so it's probably for the best.

but pete is tired of adapting.

what if he wants to live?

and live without chains.

he recomposes himself just as he did when he was tied up with a phone against his ear and with the last remains of his strength he frees himself.

he goes back to his old life, but it's not the same. pete's instict is still to adapt, but he can't adapt to this.

there's an aching feeling in his chest eating him alive. it's not a pain that he can distract himself from, its always in the forefront taking up every inch of his brain.

it doesn't let him sleep,

it doesn't let him eat,

it doesn't let him lie to his friends.

vegas has shaken his ability to adapt, now all pete can do is try to hold his pieces together and not break in front of someone. beg that they ignore that he's crumbling even if they see the cracks.

seeing vegas is an intoxicating reminder of what's been done to him, that despite it all he's still nothing. vegas replaced seeing pete as a pet for seeing pete as a person he isn't because it was the person vegas needed to see in him in that moment. even when pete thinks he might've gotten somewhere, he hasn't.

he's not a human.

he has no feelings.

all that matters is what he can be for other people, his real feelings aren't to be noticed.

but still, pete can't deny to himself that he liked some of it.

he didn't like being dehumanized and beat, but he liked being held down and worshiped. he liked being looked at like he could mean something. like someone wanted him so much they couldn't control themselves. like someone needed him. he can't even bring himself to lie to vegas when he asks him to promise not to leave him.

he liked it.

and he wants more.

but he can't have it anymore, barely had it in the first place.

vegas leaves him sobbing alone on the floor.

pete gets up.

pete recomposes himself.

pete adapts.

[azroazizah]

Ahh yes yes I do think that Crona is kinda aroace too. I do feel that almost all about them were regarding familial love issues rather than romantic issues

But anyway, for the Black Star thing

I feel like he's ace because he had never actually shown any infatuation towards girls or boys or anyone in that matter. He peeped on Tsu, yes, but it was rather obvious that he did that just to test whether he could sneak on her or no, not to actually seeing her naked body. They were even canonically sleeping in the same room if I remember it right and he didn't have any issues with it.

He's also too focused and dedicated to the whole warrior god thing to think about such things

And, I feel like he's aro because of his mentality. Believe me or not, I think he's the most reserved person in the group regarding the 'letting people in' issue. Even more than Soul.

Soul's issue was kinda like, he's afraid to let people in, but I think Black Star's issue was like, he absolutely had no plan to let people in whatsoever. It could be because he sees it as a hindrance or even a weakness, or it could be because deep down he knew that he being a Star Child just complicates everything.

Deep, deep down, I think Black Star still has a firm belief that he did not need anybody.

Soul was afraid, yes, but he still desperately hoped for someone, in a way. But Star... Star just didn't.

He didn't even tell Tsubaki anything about the Star clan. He even distanced himself away from Sid, his foster father, to the point of them becoming almost like practical strangers.

Maybe because of people badmouthing his ancestry, but I feel like Star doesn't want anyone to be that close to him.

This is the kid who, despite his loud mouth, had never even once truly expressed himself out loud. He just covered everything with his desire to get stronger.

Also I think he kinda realized himself that he couldn't connect well with people, so he just won't bother to try in general. He is sharper than how he made himself out to be. There's no way he wouldn't notice that it was hard for other people to connect with him above the friendship level.

Of course he could feel platonic and familial love, and very strongly at that, but for romantic love, no, I don't really think so. Because that kinda love is like sharing a part of you and entrust it to someone else.

Tsubaki kinda wormed her way to him, yeah, and his words of 'if I'm the black sky then you're the star' thing could be interpreted as romantic, but I do think that it didn't necessarily mean that way.

But y'know what? Even when partnering with Tsubaki, he's usually the one taking control. Tsubaki just follows him around. In an essence, he's still by himself, and he still hadn't completely entrusted a part of him to his partner.

He just gave me a vibe of a shining solo warrior god who doesn't care about any wordly thing except strength y'know?

When I imagine a canonverse future gen, I always imagine Black Star as everyone's favorite unmarried uncle somehow

Anyway, those are my opinions on Black Star. I do still enjoy him paired with other characters, like with Tsu or Kid for example, but in the canonverse, I just can't help but think that he would never consider romantic or sexual attraction as a necessity. He just doesn't need them.

don't mind me I'll just spit out nonsense

uhh so

Maka is bi

Soul is demi—or Makasexual lol

Kid is aroace

Pat is pan

Liz is bi

Star is aroace

Tsu is pan, might be poly too

Kilik is a straight ally

Harv is kinda aro

Ox is cishet, that kinda annoying one who needs to be punched at least once to shut up lol

Kim is bi

Jackie is lesbian

idk those were kinda vibes I felt from them after reading the manga