#his story makes me so sad because it's really just s cautionary tale for all of the survivors out there

[karmaswhiskee]

As someone who was actually isolated and basically imprisoned, I can tell you that while nothing feels better than freedom, the threat of losing that freedom looms over you. Icarus fell because he did not put in the work and only the suffering. Had he created the wings, he would have not flown too close to the sun as the pride of escaping on his own would have made up for the years of wisdom he lacked due to his age. This is not me pushing like "the grind" culture or victim blaming. He was young, so freedom became a drug to him before he even got the full dose.

If everyone who tastes freedom after being trapped flew too close to the sun, then there would be no survivors.

i can't vibe with anyone who thinks icarus was an ignorant idiot for flying too close to the sun. "oh i'd never do that i would have remembered my father's warning and been fine". do you seriously think that after years of imprisonment, feeling the sun on your face and the open air beneath your wings, you would be able to focus on anything but the joy of being alive and free? do you actually think that if you were given the opportunity to go where nobody has never been before, you wouldn't want to push it to the limit? to dare to be the first to try what no one else has ever even thought possible? do you honestly think you're too good for your own human nature? look me in the eyes and tell me if i strapped a pair of wings to your back that could take you wherever you wanted to go whenever you pleased that you'd be careful and sensible about it. you are not better than icarus just because you have the benefit of his example.

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time!! saturday we watched voy's "jetrel" and ds9's "family business" and last night we did voy's "learning curve" and ds9's "shakaar."

jetrel (voy):

this came so, so, so close to being one of my voyager must-sees, and i actually really did like most of it, but the wild out-of-nowhere turn at the end really ruined it for me

i was very VERY surprised that the guy playing neelix like, fucking acted this so well. love and light to the tng cast but i don't know that any of them could cry on cue except of course sir patrick stewart, whose character i sadly don't care about

i also loved neelix's story about the traps... "i had become so fascinated with my invention i never thought about how the poor creatures would suffer" aimed directly at the man responsible for the mass murder of his people was really good

AND i thought he and kes were really sweet this episode. he's worried about their differing lifespans which is spirkcore :(

that said...i mean this in the most disrespectful was possible...this felt like a tng episode at the beginning and end. like the middle was REALLY good. it brought a lot of depth to neelix. but the fucking atom bomb apologism happening in this episode was like. reprehensible lmao

first, we've got janeway in the beginning...like, the scene where neelix tells her who this guy is and about what happened to his family was SO good. she was appropriately horrified and they both acted the hell out of it. she even acts as go-between so neelix doesn't have to talk to this guy!

but then, why let him on board at all? why try to go back to neelix and convince him to see him? and she jumps at the chance to fly out to the moon this guy DESTROYED if it means a chance to cure neelix - without asking neelix's opinion first. she trusts this guy WAY too easily. i will never fucking understand society's obsession with stanning oppenheimer as like, someone cool and fascinating worthy of this kind of dissection. if anything, he's a cautionary tale.

then we have the end, which came out of NOWHERE...neelix is a deserter because he disagreed with what his people were doing? we didn't get so much of a mention as to what his people were doing prior to this moment right here, so it does absolutely nothing to complicate the issue and everything to muddy it. it's then muddied FURTHER five seconds later when he's like well no i deserted bc i was a coward! like, which is it, was it a moral thing or a being afraid of death thing? it's fine if he doesn't know and it's fine if we're not supposed to know but i think if we're not supposed to know we should be TOLD that

also like. surely "we had to drop the atom bomb on the civilian populations as a show of power" was an old tired argument even in 1995. it's not original.

finally, kes saying that neelix didn't need to hate jetrel and she knows that all along his hatred has been aimed at himself...IT CAN BE BOTH. you can have survivor's guilt and you can hate the person who bombed your home out of existence. and HAVING survivor's guilt/deserting the army is NOT an equal crime to dropping the fucking ATOM BOMB and it doesn't make neelix "just as bad" like it's not the fucking gotcha these writers think it is. kes is essentially telling him he SHOULD feel guilty and hate himself for surviving, except not really, because hating people is bad, so he should forgive himself AND jetrel

DESPITE. BY THE WAY. JETREL LYING TO ALL OF THEM THE ENTIRE TIME. scene fucking one and neelix is like no we can't trust that guy and HE WAS RIGHT

neelix isn't dying and jetrel isn't trying to find a cure, he is trying to reassemble those poor people to ease his own conscience (which would do more harm than good, the person they tried to bring back was obviously sufering, like that one alien from emanations). and still janeway and kes were like but neelix he's so sad about it

the lesson of this episode SHOULD have been "you can't bring back the dead and you MUST value life over scientific achievement" but instead it was "let's forgive oppenheimer even though he doesn't deserve it because we're so fascinated by the fact that he feels kinda guilty."

they could have fixed this so easily but cutting the forgiveness scene and having kes tell neelix literally anything other than "you're not being fair to oppenheimer here :(" like this devils advocate both sideism shit is SO tng it's physically painful. all we had to do was condemn mass murder. it's not hard! this was almost voyager's version of duet from ds9. SIGH

AND LIKE. lmao sorry i came back to edit this bullet in. i just re-skimmed the transcript and the way neelix was like maybe the bomb was punishment for all of us...for our hatred...so you think japanese CITIZENS needed to be punished for their GOVERNMENT entering ww2? absolutely fucking appalling. not only that, but it can't be your end line and your final gutpunch moment when NO effort was expended on telling us anything about the war or what neelix's people were doing that was so bad the CHILDREN deserved to be bombed

at the very least, it did make me like and become interested in neelix as a character. i didn't DISLIKE him before, i love his little jackets, etc etc etc, but it's not the same as knowing his whole deal. and KNOWING amount of pain he's been through puts a new perspective on his general attitude - many other characters with neelix's backstory would be surly, angry, have trouble connecting with others, typical edgelords etc. and i LOVE those kinds of guys. but neelix CHOOSES to be cheerful and silly and sweet and gentle, and i really love that too.

also, final note, even though it involves the holodeck, i wouldn't be mad if pool became voyager's poker. i like them having a Thing!

family business (ds9):

i dont really...understand the point of ferengi episodes. like, some episodes are hah arent ferengi funny little guys! which, aside from ferengi themselves being antisemetic stereotypes, is fine. i hate them, but other people like them, so whatever. but the episode with the cross-dressing ferengi and especially the mom...theyre like hey it sucks to be a woman ferengi! and quark's like yeah but that's not my problem. and they argue about it the whole episode like quark will you change your mind ever? and he's like no. and theyre like ok then bye. they either part ways or his mom agrees to start following ferengi laws again or whatever

like, i don't think this episode really developed quark as a character...it did shed some light on how he grew up, but considering the sheer level of misogyny happening to his mother, i found it really hard to care about any aspects of his tragic backstory about not being the favorite child or whatever. rom is so much more likable and you actually feel bad for him because he could have been great with the robotics etc and was stuck being quark's henchman

like, i swear every time they say female i want to tell them to go back to reddit.

like, i'm not a total killjoy here. sometimes misogyny is funny, like in that episode where scotty gets possessed by piglet and keeps serial killing women. 10/10 one of my all-time favs. but somehow, and trust me ik it's all subjective, ferengi stuff feels worse than that.

i feel like "females arent allowed to wear clothes!" was a one-off line in the worst season of the worst star trek show (the introduction of the ferengi was SO BAD they scrapped them as series-long villains) and they took that and ran with it and were like teehee but it's okay because it's their CULTURE we have to respect other CULTURES that's the prime directive TONY YOU CHOSE. TO WRITE THE CULTURE LIKE THAT. GROW A PAIR.

edit i nearly forgot sisko meeting that lady was so cute. get it. valid b-plot

learning curve (voy):

this was tuvok's galileo seven. to veer slightly off topic here, my issue w galileo seven is that there's a bit where spock goes "ah my first command how could it have all gone so wrong" despite having actively ignored or belittled everyone's emotions during this highly emotional time. spock is not FUCKING stupid. he works with humans. he lived with a human mother growing up. he is in fact: half human. he knows how emotions work. he knows that if a spaceship is crashed and a guy dies there will be unpleasant emotions happening. and yet somehow he is surprised that, when not taking human emotion into account or allowing for its existence, things go poorly. HE WOULD NOT FUCKING SAY THAT. he knows, better than anyone on earth, the difference between humans and vulcans

tuvok is not half-human but he is also not an idiot. he's worked with janeway for years and he was quite literally an undercover agent with the maquis. he knows how they do things and what they value. he taught humans AT THE ACADEMY for YEARS. he can meet them in the middle!!! vulcans don't do emotions but they do HAVE AND UNDERSTAND them and whoever wrote this episode did not understand tuvok

like, the entire reason for the lessons was to make the maquis guys feel more at home. boot camp does not make people feel more at home. it breaks them down and builds them up but the thing is people go to boot camp mostly willingly, or, in this universe they go willingly. the maquis guys did not ask to be here. they do not want to be here. you can't just fix them with boot camp

also, the way janeway and chakotay hatched this plan and then threw tuvok into the deep end...nobody was going to them to be like hey why do we need to be doing this, they were talking to tuvok.

i did REALLY like chakotay hitting that guy on the grounds of how outrageously problematic it is. he's like YOU WANT TO DO THINGS THE MAQUIS WAY? and then just suckerpunched and said he'd KEEP beating the shit out of him until he followed orders. absolutely horrific, totally uncalled for, and completely out of line. i fucking loved it. i wish we got more of chakotay trying to find the balance between maquis and starfleet people bc that really feels like it should be HIS plot and arc - he fits in well with both but also feels a little alienated by both at times. the true spock of this series

speaking of spock, there was SOME justice for galileo seven - in that episode, there's a b-plot involving one of the guys potentially having to stay behind because of the weight limit. i assumed the entire time spock was coldly talking about this plan that he intended for HIMSELF to be the man who stayed behind, thereby both redeeming him from his earlier mistakes AND illustrating he did understand emotion and value life...and then it got abandoned and not brought up again. so when tuvok forbid the ensign to save his friend because HE HIMSELF intended to run back into danger and do it, that was a little cathartic i cannot lie. still a bad concept overall though.

neelix moment!! neelix noticed when tuvok sat on the wrong side of the table <3 i wish they had more scenes together, they're such a funny little pair

i liked tuvok and that one guy playing pool together, at least in concept. i still think the concept of this episode is bad, but hearing about maquis experiences, letting them voice their concerns and air their grievances, directly to starfleet people, would probably go a long way towards mutual understanding. they're all stuck out here, but tuvok's wife of 67 years is waiting for him at home and the only girl this maquis guy ever loved got raped and murdered. i was a little iffy on that by the way but i think i'm so used to tv censoring stuff like that that it feels ballsy for them to just SAY it instead of using euphemisms. even tos couldn't have got away with that, and it doesn't FEEL like they're doing it for shock value or (like in tng) for fetish reasons. it's a running trend in ds9 that they're not afraid to do an unflinching portrayal of like, the violence of colonizers and occupiers, and i think in this particular scene voyager was attempting to channel some of that energy, and it mostly succeeded, it's just that the rest of the episode sucked so bad.

the b-plot of this episode was quite charming. the cheese which infected the biomechanical ship. GET THAT CHEESE TO SICKBAY! 10/10 lines and credit where it is due

shakaar (ds9):

i have become the very thing i sought to destroy because despite my intense dislike of the word bitch, and the fact that i almost never use it otherwise, i am readily shouting it at my screen every time kai wynn opens her fucking mouth. i HAVE to stop. it's turning me into a misogynist. it's turning me into a fucking ferengi.

that said, she is a bitch and i hate her so much!!! i didn't even LIKE bareil and she still needs to get his name out of her mouth. jesus christ on a bike

this episode is kinda similar to learning curve in that we're presented with a few one-off characters we are likely to only see a few times from now if at all (shakaar himself excluded, i'm pretty sure he and kira date later) and asked to care about them. ds9 did a much better job at establishing the kind of camaraderie you really care about...the story about the guy giving up his arm and feeling lucky hit even harder than the dead girlfriend maquis guy story. and i REALLY liked how at home kira was with them, in a different way than she is on ds9...never forget she is and always will be a bajoran terrorist and GOOD for her.

i feel like we could have gone more into why wynn wanted those soil thingies so bad. was it because she wanted to boost her image up by exporting shit again or is she just a horrible control freak? meanwhile the planet is starving and she was already a sure win since no one was opposing her...shot her own damn self in the fucking foot

i liked shakaar actually, and i'm not looking forward to him and kira breaking up eventually even though it's got to happen before kira/odo, because they either break up because he is a bad person and she'll be sad, or because he doesn't want her anymore and she'll be sad, or because he's dead and she'll be sad. please treat her really niceys

anyway it was great because kira realized she couldn't kill a fellow bajoran and put her weapon down and i was TOTALLY expecting him to be like whats wrong with you arent you on our side have you sold out to starfleet have you gone soft i cant believe you'd pussy out now BUT THEN HE ALSO. PUT HIS WEAPON DOWN. AND THEY JUST TALKED ABOUT IT. so many times serialized tv rely on plots that only work if everybody is fucking stupid and no one talks to each other (see: learning curve) so it was a HUGE deal for me when this actually happened. i was neutral on shakaar until this point and now i am like he is my friend. even if kira could do better. girl, odo is right there.

AND he's running against winn!!! def has my vote

b-plot for this episode was charming. nobody else had anything to do so they had to stick em in quark's to play dart. quark was ALMOST normal enough in this episode to get me back to square one but i did also derive pleasure from his gambling misfortunes. also, it's hilarious that o'brien is turning to darts so heavily in this wifeless time that he's blowing out his shoulder. he's wrung every last bit out of racketball that he could and now he's destroying darts. what will he turn to next..........

TONIGHT: ds9 double feature of "facets" and "the adversary."

[yyxgin]

my only hate, my only love (kim seungmin)

pairing: kim seungmin x fem! reader genre: enemies to lovers au, highschool au             angst, fluff word count: 11 k requested by: @joons-asscrack​ warnings: swearing, mentions of broken home 

synopsis: A high school Shakespeare club angrily splits into two groups when they can’t agree on the correct interpretation of Romeo and Juliet. One group thinks it’s a cautionary tale about the stupidity of youth and shallow lust; the other group of youth thinks it’s a beautiful tragedy about poisonous hatred conquered by love. Reconciliation seems impossible-- then a person from one group falls in love with a person from the other. 

(this dea is not mine !! I found it on pinterest under the tumblr user @/sarah531, however, i looked for the account and couldn’t find it. if you have any idea what the current @ of the owner of this prompt is, please let me know !!)

I actually used a lot of passages from this essay of Romeo and Juliet since I didn’t actually read it, all passages of the characters that talk about the play and are in italics belong to the rightful owner of this essay.

1.

“A glooming peace this morning with it brings. The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head. Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things. Some shall be pardoned, and some punished. For never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo.” your voice resonates in the quiet classroom, your words followed by more silence as you drop to your seat and close the book, placing it onto your table. The reality sinks in as the entirety of your English literature class doesn’t dare to say a word, the moment you finish reading the oh so famous Shakespearen drama making everyone lose themselves in their thoughts.

Your professor looks you in the eye, smiling a little. “So? What did you think about it?” she asks, moving her glasses further up her nose with her pointer finger, gazing onto the few people that actually chose this class as their subject of choice just to get more credit. You liked reading, to be honest. Everything about this class seemed inviting-- there were only a few people there and those that did actually care about the literature itself enough were thoughtful enough to hold a proper conversation with. You actually made friends with a lot of your classmates, your brains working at the same frequency as your shared ex gifted child burnout syndrome draped over your brains way too often after arriving to high school, making you connect on another level as you tried to soothe each other’s nerves and be there for each other. It was no secret that only the biggest of nerds went to the English literature classes, but you were okay with that idea.

You snort out a laugh, raising up your eyebrows in amusement. Your classes were always open for discussions, so you didn’t even have to raise your hand to speak-- one of the perks of being the professor’s favorite. You open your mouth to begin talking, when a voice cuts you off, beginning the discussion instead.

“Well, I think it was pretty,” mumbles a boy from the corner of the room, the only one you didn’t even particularly like in this whole class, making you roll your eyes. It was hard, being in the class of your favorite professor when you had to fight over being her favorite student with Kim Seungmin himself-- the devoted dandy boy, the member of the book club, the student council president. You despised everything about him only from one sole reason-- he was the top of the class. That was enough for you to hate him. 

You’re asking why? Well, you were supposed to be the top of the class, of course. And you were, for the main part. You didn’t share any other classes with him, making it easy for you to ignore his existence, but it just so happened that your favorite class also had to be the one where you had to see his face so often.

He was your moral enemy.

“Care to tell us more, Seungmin?” professor Jung asks, motioning for your classmate to continue speaking, to tell her all of his thoughts. You knew Romeo and Juliet must have been her favorite play by the smile on her face, eager to hear all of your reviews and thought processes while reading the piece.

“Well, I think it was quite poetic. Tragic, even. I like the way Shakespeare portrayed the prejudice and ending of a long conflict just with the power of love.” he nods, licking his lips after his bold statement, making you laugh out loud this time. 

All the eyes of your classmates turn to you, even your seatmate-- ever so laid-back and chilled out Han Jisung furrows his brows at your sudden outburst. You were never the one to turn attention your way in classes, the sight of you not reddening under the gazes of the people in the room nowhere to be seen surprising even you.

“Is there something funny, Y/N?” asks the professor, calling you by your first name. You liked the way it sounded, cringing at every teacher that called you by your last name as if you were a legal adult with your life figured out. This seemed more friendly-- it seemed kinder, even. You liked the way it made it feel like your professor actually cared about your opinion.

“I think there is, yes,” you nod, giggling to yourself again. 

“And what is that?” she seems intrigued, taking a few steps to your desk, listening to what you have to say.

“Well, I think what he said is ridiculous.” you point out, a shock spreading on your professor’s features, making you continue. “The only thing tragic about this whole play is how Shakespere portrayed the fake image of love. I mean, Juliet was only 13, don’t you think it was a bit early to get married to a man? After a day, that is?” you explain, intriguing your classmates even more.

“It was the 16th century. It was normal to get married young back then,” mumbled your enemy, Kim Seungmin from his seat, locking his eyes with you through the classroom. 

“Of course I know that,” you ironically smile at him, rolling your eyes in the process and looking back at your professor with a genuine smile this time, explaining more of your point of view, “I think it portrays girls as boy-crazy. Like love is everything they are made of and that they are worthless without a partner-- and that’s why Juliet chose to kill herself. If anything, I think it portrays the stupidity of the youth the most.” 

“So you think she was stupid just because she killed herself upon seeing her loved one dead?” Seungmin’s brows are raised now, looking at you as if he was mocking you.

“Well, Romeo did the same thing, so yes. I think it was stupid of them. They were reckless, the whole situation was. How could they know they were in love when this all happened in one day? Nobody can fall in love that quickly.” you mutter, shaking your head in disbelief.

“I think the play portrayed love at first sight beautifully,” grins Seungmin, the teasing smirk on his face bothering you so much you want to wipe it off his face. Is he really that ridiculous?

“There’s no such thing. And what were the families doing, after all? Arguing without even knowing why? For all we know, their ancestors may have hated themselves because they accidentally took their cow and they decided to kill each other for that?” you scoffed, your voice raising increasingly.

“Now that’s ridiculous.” rolls his eyes Seungmin, taking you over the edge, your voice raising with every spoken word.

“Your view of love is ridiculous. If I knew the boy I was eyeing was my family’s enemy, I wouldn’t bat an eye before dropping him, but no, she chose to marry the guy. Did she really have such twisted morals?” you scoff, a part of your class laughing at your outburst.

You hear a few quiet, amused ‘yeah’s and ‘she’s actually right’s from everywhere around you, only flooding your ego more as you recognise that your point of view is shared by more people and you aren’t actually crazy. 

“I think love is more important than rivalry.” speaks Seungmin, cocking his head to a side, teasing you just by the look on his face, your eyes scanning his features as you hear a few other comments from your classmates around you. Some girls even go as far as cooing at his romantic statement, making you laugh and roll your eyes at them. Were they all this ridiculous? 

“She was thirteen!” you argue, screaming. That is all that takes professor Jung to interfere your heated discussion, clapping her hands in authority, making everyone’s heads snap to her figure standing in front of the classroom with an amused look on her face. 

“Looks like we have quite the discussion here,” she points out, seeing your angered face. 

“Yeah, because Seungmin’s point of view is stupid!” you grunt, making her point a scolding look into your skull that almost makes you shrink in your seat in embarrassment.

“Y/N, no one’s point of view is stupid. Literature is all about the impertretation,” she states, earning a few nods and hums from your interested classmates, “now, who agrees with Y/N’s interpretation of the play?”

A few hands shoot out into the air, Jisung’s following as you angrily nudge him into his side, making you grin. No way your friend is going to support your moral enemy’s idea-- he was your friend, after all. Something inside of you is telling you that this whole feud wasn’t only about the play anymore,. You were fighting with Kim Seungmin, and that was enough to keep you standing by your point.

“And who agrees with Seungmin’s interpretation?” she asks again, searching through the classroom. It seems like the amount of people that agree with your classmate is about the same as the amount of people that agree with you, making you annoyingly roll your eyes at the realisation that you once again didn’t manage to outpower your moral enemy. 

“I see the classroom has split into two teams,” she grins, nodding her head, “well, I did think you were going to have different opinions on this, but I didn’t think it was going to get so heated over here.” she points out, switching her gaze from you to Seungmin and back, as if to scold you and support you with your antics all at once.

“Yeah, well, it’s not my fault Y/N can’t appreciate one of the most important pieces of English literature-”

“I’m all about supporting, if it was actually good and meaningful-”

“Stop it, you two!” she scolds you, making both of you shut up and finally provide some silence in the room. “Well, since you all look like you have different opinions on the topic, let’s try a fun experiment. I was going to make you all write an essay on the play by yourselves, just like we usually do, but I think this is going to be much more fun for all of us.” she states, smiling to herself like a happy child on Christmas. You wonder what’s racing through her head as she searches through the classroom, locking eyes with you, then continuing.

“I want you all to write an essay and do a presentation on Romeo and Juliet-- you can write about anything, whether it is your ideas, what you took from the play, what is your view-point on it. But you have to write it with the person who has the exact opposite opinion on this play. So this way, we can get the story from two points of view. Let’s see what you agree on, what you don’t, make it a discussion, I don’t care, just make it make sense. Do you understand me?” she smiles and you swear you can already feel what is going on before she says it, making your head hurt and breath hitch in your throat.

“And since Seungmin and Y/N seem to have the most different opinions on this, I am picking them as a pair-- no, there’s no way for the two of you to change.” she says before you can even open your mouth to argue back, leaving you to stand up from your seat just at the time when the bell rings.

“But miss Jung-” 

“I want it done until the end of this month.” she smiles, taking her things and leaving the classroom, letting the thought sink in. You lunge yourself back to your seat, defeated and left to process the fact that you now had two weeks to work on a project with Kim Seungmin-- your biggest enemy.

A sigh escapes your seatmate’s mouth upon the scene, running his hand through his hair in frustration. “That’s what you get for always picking fights with him.”

2.

That’s how you end up in a coffee shop two blocks away from your house. You didn’t exactly ask for Kim Seungmin’s number-- you weren’t in the 2000s anymore-- you swiftly added him on Facebook in order to get this over with so you wouldn’t have to meet with him anymore. Yes, you were mad at Mrs Jung for pairing you up with him, but you still adored her and wanted to do well, so that’s why you chose to do what you had to and arranged a meeting with him.

Kim Seungmin appears in the coffee shop in his usual cozy demeanour-- oversized sweater and everything, with a backpack hanging off his shoulder and a serious look plastered on his face. He places his copy of Romeo and Juliet onto the table and sits his figure into the chair right in front of you, sighing heavily as he stares at you from under his eyelashes, voice low and defeated.

“Hi.” he greets, resting his back against the head of the chair, waiting for you to take initiative. You were the one who arranged this whole thing in the first place, so it was kind of your responsibility now in his books.

“Hello,” you cleared your throat. You felt like you were sitting there with the devil himself, just begging yourself in your head not to explode like a raging volcano with every movement he made that always somehow ended up irritating you. It was like his aura was everything you despised-- his collected way of discussing and his calm way of thinking getting on your nerves with every sigh he sent your way.

“So… how do you wanna go around this?” he asks, raising his eyebrows at you in question. 

You sigh back at him just to show him how annoyed you are by your professor’s choice of your partner, bringing your hands to rest them on the table and cracking your knuckles in nerves. You didn’t meet his eyes, you felt too intimidated to do so in the moment, before you spoke up and managed to get your point across. 

“Well, since we have to gather both of our viewpoints in the essay, I think we could just start of by telling the other one what topics we want to talk about so the other one can debunk them.” you mumble, suddenly feeling nervous by the possibility of your idea being rejected. If you could disappear on the spot, believe me, you would. 

Seungmin hums from his seat, nodding. “Seems reasonable.”

You try your hardest not to let out a relieved sigh, nodding back at him. “I brought some notes.”

You did some preparation for this. Well, a lot of preparation. There was no way Kim Seungmin could catch you unprepared at your study meeting. You wanted to prove to him that you were worth so much more than sharing your grade with him and if he had any snarky or teasing remark, you best believe you mastered up a response just as spiteful, if not more than what could possibly leave his lips in the moment. You weren’t here to embarrass yourself. You were here to look smart. Smarter than Kim Seungmin. 

“Perfect.” he just mutters, taking the sheet of paper you were offering to him from your hand, placing it on the table in front of him and skimming his eyes through the lines of text you scribbled down yesterday evening.

The silence makes your palms sweat. It makes you nervously bite down on your lower lip. You felt embarrassing-- you were never the conservative type. All this time, you used to hate your classmate from afar. You never actually spoke to each other, all you did to express your hatred for the boy was in the way you always rolled your eyes when he spoke up in class, or you sighed when Mrs Jung was complimenting him in front of everyone, making sure he heard you. You don’t know what broke in you that day-- you were quite the shy type, to be honest. You didn’t like to be the centre of attention. What were you even thinking by all of this?

“I don’t think we should mention their age as an argument,” he says, finally meeting eyes with you. 

“Why?” you ask, dumbfounded.

“Because as I already said, it was long ago. People used to marry young.” he shrugs, offering the sheet of paper back to you with a judging look on his face.

“Okay and? My point still stands. They were too young and reckless.” 

“I also don’t think we should talk about the sex part.” he concludes, landing his hands into his lap.

“Why? Because it’s controversial?” you teasingly grin at him, waiting for his response.

“No. Because it clearly brings nothing to the table about our arguments. It doesn’t even really play a big role in the whole thing, so I think it’s useless to mention,” he shrugs, looking at your face. It felt like his eyes were studying you, judging you. It was hard to keep eye contact with him-- so you didn’t. You averted your gaze out of the window, opting to watch the passer-bys instead. 

You sigh, waiting for him to say something against your notes again. Of course you could expect this-- there was no way Kim Seungmin would agree with anything you’re trying to say in the matter at all.

“And the point about Rosaline is a little over the line as well…” 

“What do you want me to put in the essay if you’re just going to tell me it’s unreasonable and over the line, huh?” you voice out, pinning your eyes onto his shocked figure, “it’s supposed to be an essay on everything I didn’t like about it, so that’s what I’m going to put in it and your job is to comment on my arguments. Just like my job is to comment on what you loved about this piece of shit of a play, and that’s what I’m going to do, so fuck off.” you growled, standing up and taking your things with you, too frustrated and hot-headed to continue the discussion.

Only Kim Seungmin could make you this mad and you hated him for it even more.

3.

You hear your door open, revealing your mum standing in the doorway with a mug of hot tea and a soft smile playing with her features. You sigh, playing with your pen in your hand, waiting for her to say what she needs to say and leave so you could have some silence to finally work.

“Sweetie, you should really relax for a while. You’ve been studying for the whole day…” she mumbles, taking the tea to your desk and running a hand through your hair. You fight off the urge to pull away from her, knowing damn well it would hurt her feelings, so you just opt to nod at her face and faking a smile.

“Yeah, sure, mum.” you respond, but make no effort in getting up from your chair and moving to your bed. It was already late in the night and your mum was wearing her pyjamas, signaling that she was going to sleep. She always went to sleep early, because she needed to wake up in the early hours of the day to go to work, but you usually didn’t go to sleep earlier than midnight anyway-- homework was taking you too much time sometimes.

“I mean it. You’re doing great job in school, sweetie, but you have to lay off for a while or else you’ll overwork yourself.” she says affectionately, making you grunt on the inside.

“Okay, okay, go to sleep now, good night mum…” you mumble, waiting for her to finally leave you alone. 

“Are you telling me to go away?” she asks with a hint of laugh in her voice that you know for a fact is fake, because the expression on her face looks hurt. You hate to see that face, because it makes you feel guilty, but you really can’t help yourself sometimes.

“No.” you mutter, shaking your head.

She just stares at you for a while, biting down on her lower lip, before she hangs her head low and sighs out. She turns around, taking a few steps to your door, turning around only for a moment when she stands in the doorway and whispers a quiet ‘good night’ at you, closing the door behind her and disappearing into her bedroom. 

You feel a sense of relief coming over you. Of course you weren’t going to sleep yet, but she didn’t have to know that. She didn’t have to know a lot of things. 

The small, old copy of Romeo and Juliet falls into your eyes in the corner of your desk. You had to borrow your book from the library and you hated how some pages were torn and the ink was so old it was hard to read sometimes, but you couldn’t afford to buy yourself one, because you were saving up for college and every cent counts in your household. 

You take it into your hands, reading over the passages you bookmarked when you were first reading the book, wanting to refresh your memory with the lines that stood up to you and made you snort at how ridiculous the book truly was again before typing them down into the document you had opened in front of you.

“Love is heavy and light, bright and dark, hot and cold, sick and healthy, asleep and awake- it’s everything except what it is!” it says. You run your fingers along the words, the curves of the ink cutting you like a knife. Love is all of these things-- it’s terrifying and it’s unpredictable. It sounds scary in your ears and you’ve seen it right in front of your eyes- love is everything except what it is. 

Love isn’t heavy and light, bright and dark, hot and cold. Love isn’t sick and healthy. Love is pain. It takes everything you have, it ties you down, it makes you do things you would never do if you weren’t in love. It intoxicates you and makes you make bad decisions. When you love, you’re irresponsible. You’re like a storm. 

Your mum and your dad were in love. Or, your mum always told you they were.

So if your mum and your dad were in love, they were supposed to be together through the heavy and the light. Through the bright and through the dark. Through sick and healthy. They were supposed to be there for each other. 

They were both really young when they fell in love. You understand-- they were reckless and they were stupid. 

But did your father really have to leave you? 

Love is nothing from the above. Love is sick and love is just a play. It would be stupid to be hung up on that idea that Kim Seungmin so desperately wanted to believe in.

4.

“So, how far did you get with the essay?” asks Jisung on your lunch break, looking at you with expectation. You told him about your planned meeting with Seungmin, but you didn’t get around to telling him just how it went yet. 

“Oh, that…” you mumble, letting out a dry chuckle, “well, he told me my ideas are stupid, so I’m just going to write it by myself and send it to him so he can add his points into it.” you shrugged, taking a bite from your sandwich, stuffing your cheeks with the food so you didn’t have to explain any further.

Jisung sighs in front of you, rolling his eyes like every time you gush about Seungmin and how he gets on your nerves. “Can you lay off that Anne and Gilbert attitude already?”

“Stop saying that, that’s disgusting,” you scrunch up your nose, shaking your head in disbelief.

“Well, it looks like you two are doing a whole 21st century remake right in front of our eyes, though,” chuckles Jisung, teasing you further, “with that whole top of the class students that hate each other and act like children just because they don’t agree on something. It’s only a matter of time before you fall in love.”

“Ew,” you fake a gag, rolling your eyes at him, “that is so not happening.”

“Yeah, sure, tell me about it at your wedding in a few years.” he mutters.

“I am not getting married in my whole life, marriage is wack,” you roll your eyes at him for the millionth time, the gesture so familiar to you over the past few days. Everything seems to annoy you recently. Maybe you were just going through a bad patch, who knows?

“Oh would you look at that, Y/N’s acting like a Grinch again,” giggles Jisung, ruffling your hair in the process just to annoy you even more, making you pull away abruptly from his touch.

“That doesn’t even make any sense! Grinch hates Christmas, not fake images of love.” you argue back, finishing your sandwich and rolling the plastic that was covering it into a little ball, throwing it into his face to shut him up.

“Yeah, sure.” he snorts, throwing the ball back at you. You catch it in your hands with a promise to yourself to throw it out when exiting the cafeteria later, when you feel a light tap on your shoulder that makes you turn around.

The sight in front of you makes you shoot your eyebrows up in shock, leaving you flustered and surprised. “What do you want?”

“I just wanted to ask when we can hang out again to work on that essay, since it’s, you know, like half of our final grade…” mutters Seungmin, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly and pointing his eyes at you, casually waiting for your answer.

“Oh, we’re not meeting again. I’m just going to email you the file when I’m done.” you shrug.

“But that’s unfair to me?” he offers, eyebrows shooting up and his hand falling to his side.

“Why would it be?”

“That gives me less time to work on it, you know. And you have to add your comments to my work anyways, so it would mean you’ll have to write those at the last-minute.” Seungmin explains, his tone of voice calm and collected, just as always, after all, making you roll your eyes and fume up again. 

“I don’t really care,” you shrug, smiling ironically at his face.

“Why- what?” he asks, looking genuinely concerned and confused, eyebrows scrunching up and his voice raising a little by an octave.

You don’t answer him, though. You’ve had enough of his snarky comments and remarks in the coffee shop-- you weren’t going to meet up with Kim Seungmin again, even if it meant the possibility of getting a bad grade from your most favorite and treasured subject. 

After the boy is met with silence, all he does is scoff at you, shooting his arms up into the air and shaking his head in disbelief. “You’re such a fucking child, oh my god.”

And with that, he strides off, your eyes following his every move to make sure he doesn’t come near you again. His steps are quick and angry, and this is actually the first time you’ve seen him get so frustrated with something. You take pride in getting him over the edge. You were finally even. He doesn’t look back once and you think you finally made it.

“Stop staring, Anne.” you hear from your friend sitting right in front of you, making you break away from your bubble and taking a look at him, seeing him amused and with a teasing grin plastered on his face.

“Fuck off.”

5.

“Peace? I hate the word as I hate hell and all Montagues.” Mrs Jung reads out, when you start dozing off in the class. You’ve read the play a lot of times already, making you feel bored even by the repetitiveness of your class. You understand that she is just waiting for all of you to turn in your papers, not wanting to move on from Romeo and Juliet just yet, but you find yourself slowly falling asleep under the spell of her voice and the fact that you spent the whole night studying again. The sentence startles you awake, making you chuckle to yourself.

‘Peace? I hate the word as I hate hell and Kim Seungmin himself,’ you think. If Han Jisung could read minds, he would be surely teasing you with another smart remark of how much energy you’re spending by hating the poor boy and how it’s not possible for you to not fall in love with him soon after how much time he spends in your mind, but Han Jiung can’t read minds. And even if he could, you’d just tell him to fuck off. Because he is wrong.

“Am I boring you, Y/N?” asks Mrs Jung, fully startling you awake as you straighten your back and properly sit on your uncomfortable chair again. 

“Of course not!” you call out, blinking rapidly to keep your eyes from closing on themselves again. 

“Oh, I thought I was, by how tired you seem by listening to me.” she just smiles at you, then continues talking and looks at the other students in your class, leaving you to blush to yourself without giving you more attention. 

You chew on the inside of your cheek, looking around the classroom. You feel embarrassed. You really didn’t mean to give your favorite professor the wrong idea-- you just got to bed really, really late yesterday. It happened often, but you guess that it just took a bigger stroll on you today. 

Your eyes meet the orbs of your moral enemy, that just gazes into you with intensity. You quickly look away. Why is he doing that? His eyes look worried. He’s not supposed to look at you in such a way-- he’s supposed to laugh at how you’ve just been scolded. He just won a few points to himself by paying more attention than you, he just got on the better side with your favorite professor, yet he doesn’t look like he’s enjoying it at all. 

A small piece of paper catches your interest from the corner of your eye. You read through it, recognising the loopy handwriting of your seat-mate.

did you stay up late studying again?

You sigh, taking a pen out of your pencil case and neatly writing under it, trying not to get caught by Mrs Jung. You really don’t want to get scolded for the second time today.

yeah

you should probably relax a little, your grades are already good to begin with

You roll your eyes at the note. Of course he’d say something like that. In elementary school, your grades were good without even trying. All you had to do was pay attention in class and write what you could remember, but now, in high school, everything is a little harder for you and you suddenly weren't good enough anymore. And yeah, you could say that grades don’t even matter that much, but for you, they meant everything. 

yeah that’s bc i study jisung

now you’re falling asleep tho how is that helping

You don’t answer him. It’s not that he’s wrong. It’s just that… you’re not going to tell him that he is. Yes, you falling asleep wasn’t helping you in the tiniest, because the less you pay attention in class, the more you have to study at home, and the more you study, the less you sleep, which means you’re going to fall asleep in class the next day and it’s just an endless cycle.

sorry :( but just remember that grades aren’t everything Anne you can get an F once in a while

thanks

You write. But you don’t really mean it. 

Because if you get an F, you’re not going to be the top of the class anymore.

And how will you get a scholarship if you’re not?

6.

You arrive to the library, sighing to yourself as you quickly take your coat off and smile to Mrs Kim, the older librarian that let you work here part-time for the time being. You didn’t get paid much, but you loved the job. For the most part, it was easy-- there weren’t many people coming to libraries these days anymore and you could just stay behind the counter, occasionally letting people borrow books and writing them into the evidence. You had a lot of time to study there as well, it was silent and calm. Sometimes, you felt like your heart could rest a little in the small place.

“I’m sorry for coming late Mrs Kim, but the bus was late so I couldn’t get here sooner-” you rush out out of breath, dropping your backpack under the counter, ready to change seats with your employer that was done with her shift for the day.

“It’s totally okay, sweetheart, you know there’s no rush.” she smiles at you, reassuring your nerves with the gesture. You were glad you had such caring people around you. You met with Mrs Kim more than you did with your own mother-- it was strange, but comforting to know that at least someone close to a parental figure was still in your life.

Maybe you just hung yourself into older, reliable people because you lost the security you had in your own mother. Or because you didn’t even have a father to begin with. You don’t know if you’re doing the right thing, but in your heart, it surely feels like you are. 

You nod at her, seeing her leave and wave at you as she takes her things with her before you’re left alone with your thoughts. You sit yourself on the chair, looking around for a moment, before you take out your notes and start working on your homework. The library felt like a safe space-- not that you didn’t have the silence and comfort at your own home, since you were home alone all the time anyway-- but here, at least you felt like there was a reason behind your loneliness. You were at work, after all. 

You wonder if things would have been different for your mum if she didn’t have you so young. Maybe she would still be happy with your dad-- maybe she wouldn’t have to work a lot just to get you through life. It’s not easy, raising a child on your own when you are a child still, you realise that. And your mother does a good job-- at least you think she is-- but sometimes, you wish your life would be different.

You curse at your mother for being so reckless when she was young. If you’d be born later, she’d finish school. Give you a better life. Maybe, you would even have a father. You would be a little happy family, going on vacations and enjoying your lives.

Now, you’re stuck with trying your hardest to be the best at everything. To have your life figured out, because at your age, your mum surely didn’t. You know you shouldn’t blame her-- you need two people to create a child, but there was no other person for you to blame. 

You try your hardest to get a scholarship, because you can’t pay for college on your own. You work so your mother doesn’t have to stay at her job over-night so often just to pay the bills. You educate yourself to be smart and successful-- because that will surely change your life for the better, right? 

Suddenly, you hear the bell above the door of the library ring, startling you away from your thoughts. You look that way with a polite smile on your face you’ve taught yourself while working at customer service, ready to greet the customer with fake enthusiasm, when your mouth hangs open without a word. Startled would be an understatement to the feeling you feel at the moment.

“Hello,” the person greets politely, looking at you momentarily before going up to the counter with a stack of books in his hands. He looks up after placing them on the surface and that’s the moment when you see he realises your presence fully-- after seeing his face fall into shock.

“Good afternoon,” you grunt ironically, taking the books closer to yourself so you can check them in, recognising his eyes following your every move from the corner of your eye, “your ID?” you raise up your eyebrows at him, annoyance apparent in your features.

“Oh, right,” he catches himself, quickly patting every pocket of his clothing, until he puts up his hand into his backpack and browses through his wallet, slender fingers offering you the little card so you can scan the code.

The computer freezes for a bit and you curse to yourself-- did it really have to happen now? With Kim Seungmin watching you like an alien? The computer at your local library wasn’t the newest, per say. It didn’t even have to be, your usual customers were just as old, if not even older than that piece of machinery, they didn’t mind waiting. But now wasn’t the time for the computer to freeze. You feel yourself losing your nerves, bouncing your leg up and down, angrily glaring at the screen. 

A minute passes, than another-- could it even get worse than this? 

“So,” clears his throat Seungmin, making you snap your head up to meet his gaze, “what’s up?” he asks, shocking you again. 

“Why do you care?” you snap, glaring at him instead. How dare he act so casually after saying all those mean things to you? You couldn’t believe your ears. 

“Because you’re my classmate…?” he furrows his brows, tone of voice cautious, sounding like a question instead.

“And?” you ask, watching the screen of the computer instead, cursing at the new electronic system Mrs Kim decided to install. It would have been so much easier if you could just scribble down your signature on a small piece of paper and take the books like you used to do before, but no, she was all about innovation. 

“And I thought we were civil enough for a casual conversation,” he rambles, making you snort in disbelief.

“Oh, we are anything but civil.” you respond, losing your nerves, taking your hand and angrily hitting the top of the screen, as if it was supposed to make the computer work. You violently curse under your breath, hitting it a few times, each one more lightly, until the program starts to work, finally registering the books back into the library evidence.

“Why do you even hate me so much?” he asks after you stop, looking at you with annoyed eyes and a look worthy of an oscar-winning actor. He didn’t care, you knew that, but he sure looked like he did.

You just scoff at him, shaking your head. 

“Goodbye,” is all you offer him, his library ID in your hand, before he takes it and rolls his eyes at you again, like many times before. With that, he leaves-- just like you wanted him to-- and you can finally relax. 

You sigh out, taking a seat on your chair again, angirly shutting your textbooks close and grunting under your breath. You put your head into your hands, resting them on the table, breathing heavily. You won’t even be able to study now, and it’s all thanks to him.

Why do you even hate him so much?

7.

Kim Seungmin is an interesting individual. As you continue to work in the library the next week, you meet him there every single day. You don’t even have the energy to bark at him anymore-- he slid into your life like a gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe. Always there, but you never get used to it and it’s still annoying when you walk around. 

Kim Seungmin is your moral enemy, as we already established. He comes into the library every day and you’re convinced it’s just because he wants to piss you off, but you don’t give him the satisfaction of letting him rile you up anymore. You just silently glare at him and sigh when the timing feels right to show him how much you actually still hate his presence. 

He comes back one day while you’re working on your essay, sitting at the table with furrowed eyebrows and the end of your pen trapped between your teeth. The copy of the play is sitting open right in front of you and his eyes fall into it, recognising the underlined replicas and words. You didn’t work on that essay together ever since your first meeting and the due date was nearing, all he wanted to do was review it with you to at least know what he was getting into.

“Can you even read all of these books in a day when you keep coming back for more every time?” you grumpily mumble as you check back the books you, as the librarian, let him borrow yesterday. They are quite thin, but still, you doubt he was so quick to read all of them in a single afternoon.

“Why do you care?” he asks, snickering to himself. Of course, here he is-- annoying every single cell and fiber of your body again.

“Oh, trust me, I don’t. It’s just getting a little annoying.” you ironically smile at him, sitting back to your chair as you finish lending him the new stash of books. You’re not even sure where he got all of these from, since they don’t even look that interesting, but you choose not to think about it any longer as you get back to your essay, scribbling onto the lined paper.

“I like what you’ve written so far,” he says, startling you. You thought he left already-- I mean, why would he even stay? But he didn’t and he was standing right in front of you, eyes skimming over your messy handwriting.

“No you don’t. You’re arguing against me.” you snap back, darting your eyes to him, seeing him sigh.

“Whatever,” he shakes his head, “I was just wondering when you’re going to finally stop being so childish so we can work on that project together, you know.”

“I’m not childish-”

“Stop arguing with me for once, for god’s sake!” he rushes out, throwing his arms in the air in nerves, huffing out in frustration. “Look, I’ll be here tomorrow. The same time. I’ll bring my things and if you still don’t let me work with you, I won’t write anything and we’ll get a bad grade together. Take it or leave it.”

And with that, he is gone. 

Fuck Kim Seungmin.

8.

Turns out your enemy is a man of his word. 

He truly does show up the next day-- with his backpack slung on his shoulder, cute big glasses sitting on his nose and a stack of papers in his hands. He raises his brows at you upon arriving and you just let out a defeated sigh. 

You put a lot of thought into this yesterday evening. Did you hate Kim Seungmin? Of course you did. Was he really annoying? Yes. But were you going to get a bad grade just because of that? Not a chance. 

And so you choose to give up on the small war and let him sit in front of you, you let him casually ask you questions about the essay and surprisingly, you answer. It is kind of easy, working with a partner on the same exact level as you, because, and now, don’t get me wrong, you love your classmates, but it seemed like you did all the work all the time. It was nice to have somebody by your side that actually managed to do something and took his part responsibly.

“So, since we’re not just gonna go there and argue right from the start, I wrote a little something about William Shakespeare and his background as well in the introduction, I actually didn’t get around to writing the introduction to the play itself, but-”

“Oh that’s fine, I have it done. We can just stick that in there,” he smiles at you warmly, taking you by a surprise. 

You’ve never seen Kim Seungmin smile at you. It was strange to act so friendly around him. Perhaps you were really losing your mind while studying so much. 

“Perfect.” you nod, chewing on the inside of your cheek. 

“I also have the general storyline written down so you don’t have to do that…” he mumbles, looking away for a while when your eyes meet. Is this supposed to be so awkward?

“Nice.” you opt to simply reply in your usual cold nature, nodding.

“Can you tell me which topics you wrote about? So I know if I need to write my part about more things…” he takes the initiative again and you’re actually kind of glad, because that means you don’t have to think of the schedule of your little meeting anymore. 

“Oh, right,” you say, shuffling around in your papers, “um… I just wrote about the age aspect, how reckless their love was, the image of love itself in the play, I also wrote about how meaningless the rivalry was…” you mumble, averting your eyes to the blue ink on the paper.

“Awesome, so we have all of that done… except from the love thing. Okay, I’ll write it next time I come around, since I have tutoring in a few,” he smiles, standing up from the chair, taking all of his things with him.

“Next time?”

“Yeah, well, we still have to finish it. You’ll be here on Tuesday, right? Since the class is on Thursday, so we can have time for the finishing touches.” he proposes, leaving you staring at him, startled.

“O...kay,” you nod, watching him leave.

“Perfect! I’ll see you around, bye!” he cheers, escaping the library that now feels so much hotter than before, leaving you all alone. You notice his tall figure rushing the other way of the library, watching it until it disappears completely out of your sight. 

You notice how hot your cheeks are, bringing a hand to rest against the burning surface, taking deep breaths to somehow calm down the racing heart you are only recognising now, that he’s gone. 

You still have a lot of work to do before Tuesday-- one of your tasks, it seems, is to try to not fall for his friendly nature and welcoming smile. Because perhaps, he was right all along-- why do you even hate him so much?

9.

Kim Seungmin has always been your moral enemy-- you despised everything about him, from the way he was always so calm and collected, so sweet and caring, so smart and thoughtful. You despised his composure. You despised the way he always somehow managed to make friends with everyone around him no matter who the person was. 

He was everything you weren’t. You were just the quiet kid from a broken family that always had to look after herself. You were the kid that had to keep on trying to be the best one, because your mind didn’t let you accept the second place. 

Yet now, that Kim Seungmin is sitting right in front of you with a sweet smile plastered onto his features and a stack of notes in his hands, making your heart race with his every move, you start to quietly doubt your silent hatred for the boy.

He makes it so easy to be likeable. You’re jealous of him.

“Okay, so, do you want to start reading? I think it might help us to have a run down before presenting this on Thursday,” he asks you, leaving you to take a deep breath in, nodding to yourself.

You skip the introduction bits-- both of you know a little too much about the play and its author already, you have no reason to be reading those parts out loud. Something inside of you starts shaking at the thought of presenting your work to him. You were never really good with presentations, your quiet nature leaving you getting hot in the cheeks and stammering every time you had to read in front of the class, but now, it feels even worse with the boy staring at you, listening to everything you have to say.

“They say Romeo and Juliet describe a love that surpasses all boundaries, but a close reading of the play suggests the lovers’ feelings are more complicated than pure love. If we look, we can find plenty of evidence that Romeo and Juliet’s love for one another is, at least initially, immature. Romeo begins the play claiming to be passionately in love with another woman, Rosaline. When he sees Juliet, he abandons Rosaline before he has even spoken to his new love, which suggests that his feelings for both women are superficial. Juliet, meanwhile, seems to be motivated by defying her parents. She is unenthusiastic about her parents’ choice of husband for her, and at the party where she is supposed to meet Paris, she instead kisses Romeo after exchanging just fourteen lines of dialogue with him. When Romeo returns to see Juliet, she is focused on marriage. For Juliet, part of the appeal of marriage is that it will free her from her parents: ‘I’ll no longer be a Capulet’,” you read out quietly. The room is silent, you can even hear the passing cars outside of the window, but Seungmin says nothing. You pay a daring look to him, finding him focused on your face, which makes you shakily drift your eyes back, reading some more so you can distract yourself.

“Marriage is, also, another great aspect of the story-- Juliet is only 13 in the play and even though we can argue and say that historically, she was of age to get married, I still think it is irresponsible to marry so young and so quickly. It brings a bad view of reckless love to young readers that are forced to read the play while growing up.” you continue, hearing Seungmin smirk from the other side of the table.

“‘With love’s light wings did I o’erperch these walls, for stony limits cannot hold love out’, Romeo says, however, to Juliet, all of the freedom she gets from love sparks in the idea of leaving her parents so she can have sex.” you read out, hearing Seungmin finally burst out laughing.

You stop reading, looking up to him with questioning eyes. 

“Why are you so dramatic about all of it anyway?” he asks you, making you furrow your brows in confusion.

“What do you mean dramatic? I was supposed to write about my own view of it, so I did just that. You don’t have to laugh at me for it,” you shake your head, kind of feeling pathetic for the way your heart is racing. The thing is, and you know it sounds ridiculous, you actually feel kind of hurt by the sound of his laughter.

“I understand that, but why do you keep bashing the author for writing it like that? It’s like you don’t even believe in love, all you did was criticise all of the ideas he had. And so what if they were young and reckless? They were still in love, you know?” he rambles, making your blood boil again.

“You can’t just ignore all of it because it was in history. I don’t think it’s normal to marry so young and to claim you are in love so quickly, because you know what? If they survived, they would make a child. And then, they would realise how they fucked up their own life and Romeo would run away from her with a snap of his finger, because that’s what young, immature boys do. And then-” you raise your voice, not even realising how heated you got with the argument as you continue to ramble. The vision of your own parents and your own story is slowly eating you all up from the inside, when suddenly, Seungmin cuts you off again with a laugh.

“But you don’t know that. It’s not even in the play and your conspiracies are just… pathetic, really,” he shrugs, taking in your distressed state.

Pathetic conspiracies. Is this what he called your life?

“Leave.” you say, breathing heavy.

“What? We didn’t even-” 

“You criticize everything I write, not even recognising that maybe I do have a reason for feeling like this and maybe I really do not want to idolise young, immature love when I know just how much damage it can make, so please, for the love of god, Kim Seungmin, leave me alone!” you yell out, standing up from your chair and pointing to the door.

“Y/N-”

“I said get out!” you scream. His deep eyes stare at you for a few minutes, startled, before he hurriedly takes his things and leaves through the front door. 

Once you’re finally alone again, you sigh heavily and put your head into your hands. You feel your eyes burning, trying to desperately blink away the stupid tears filling your saddened orbs, but it’s no use as you see a few teadrops fall onto the opened copy of Romeo and Juliet on the table. 

‘It’s easy for someone to joke about scars if they’ve never been cut.’, it says.

Maybe you were fooling yourself when you thought Kim Seungmin will no longer be your enemy after all of this.

10.

You raise up to your feet when Mrs Jung calls on you on Friday. You already know what’s going to happen-- you’d been preparing yourself for this moment for the past two long, miserable days. You hadn’t spoken to Seungmin since that day in the library and frankly, you feel like after all of this, you have nothing to say to him. You feel like all energy has been sucked out of you, like you are just a walking cage without a soul just ready for this whole project to be over.

You scan the faces of your classmates, most of them looking interested by your essay. They must be expecting drama, an outburst of emotions as you listen to Seungmin’s words, but you won’t give them the satisfaction today. You’re just going to do your part-- you’re going to read out what you have to say and that’s where it ends. You’re not wasting your energy on Kim Seungmin anymore. It’s not worth your time at all. 

So you start, just like that time in the library. You make all your points, you mention all of the topics you wanted to discuss. You throw it right in front of their faces, silently confessing to them all of your deepest secrets and insecurities, because the truth is, you wouldn’t feel so strongly about the play if it didn’t affect you as much. 

And when you’re done, you let your rival speak. You listen to him with curiosity, it doesn’t matter how much you’re trying to convince yourself you don’t actually care. His words flow into your ears and fill your mind with thoughts, every single one of them dedicated to his neat handwriting and his brain full of mysteries he is currently uncovering right in front of you.

“To be honest, Y/N’s words made me think. They made me think too hard. They made me question if my point of view was actually as correct as I thought it was. You see, Y/N is a smart girl. No one can deny that. Perhaps that is what made me doubt my own words so much in the first place,” he starts, looking you directly in the eye, but quickly averting his eyes to the small group of people in the classroom instead, “but still, even though there are some points of her essay that I agree with-- like the age aspect, even though historically, it could be meaningless, as well as the way their marriage comes too fast, there are still things I strongly disagree on.”

He takes a deep breath, shuffling the papers in his hands until he finds the right one, and starts speaking again. “Y/N says their love isn’t as pure as it seems to be. With Romeo abandoning Rosaline and with Juliet desperately wanting to break away from her parents, it may seem that way. However, I think that yet, while the two characters may have initially fell for each other due to a mixture of convenience and lust, Romeo and Juliet’s language shows their passion maturing into real love,” he says, taking a short look at you that makes your insides burn in flames, “In their first meeting, they compose a sonnet together using the religious language of pilgrimage. They both start using astrological language to describe their love. As their relationship develops, they use less rhyme, which has the effect of making their language feel less artificial. These changes in the lovers’ language show that they are growing together. They are growing to care more deeply for each other, they are growing into a feeling of love they have for each other.”

“Another thing I disagree with Y/N on is her image of love. ‘Is love a tender thing? It is too rough, too rude, too boisterous, and it pricks like thorn,’ she quotes. Romeo asks his friend, Mercutio, this question when he feels hurt by his love. Yet, as I already mentioned, in my opinion, love is growing. And growing is a journey-- in every journey, there is going to be some pain,” he looks at you again, as if to tell you that his words aren’t meant for the class, but for you and your ears only. It doesn’t look like he’s arguing with you anymore--he is simply telling you what’s on his mind. What he believes in. 

“In theory, I think love is beautiful. I understand the pain and I understand the journey. And with me saying I disagree, I’m not saying Y/N’s opinion is wrong. It’s simply what she believes in,” he nods his head, locking his eyes with Mrs Jung, “but perhaps, it’s the romantic in me that believes that the image of love portrayed in this book was, in fact, beautiful.”

He clears his throat, looking at you again, but this time, his eyes don’t drift to the papers in his hand, rather speaking from his memory instead of reading out the things he had written down. “‘The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars as daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven would through the airy region stream so bright that birds would sing, and think it were not night.’ Isn’t that beautiful?” he averts his eyes to the class, smiling to himself and looking to the ground. 

Somehow, his words feel heavy on you. Like they hold the weight of the world, like what he said wasn’t just to prove a point to you. Perhaps Kim Seungmin saw through the hurt you feel-- perhaps he tried to understand. Maybe, he even tried to make you feel better. 

Somehow, his words feel like a confession. His ending ment of saying ‘thank you for your time’ goes unnoticed in your brain, everything turning blurry as the bell rings just as your presentation ends, your brain, eyes-- your whole being focused on Kim Seungmin and the way his voice recitated the words with such passion in his heart.

“‘And where two raging fires meet together, they do consume the thing that feeds their fury,’” the voice of your English literature teacher cuts through your senses like a knife, the smile on her face bringing you back to reality, “Good job, you two.”

11.

A kick in a face wouldn’t hit you harder than seeing Kim Seungmin appear in the library the next day. You aren’t prepared to see him, not when all you’ve been thinking of the last night without being able to fall asleep were his words, his mind and his face. You saw him every time you closed your eyes-- it was like he suddenly imprinted himself into your brain. It was crazy. You felt crazy.

Romeo and Juliet fell in love at first sight. Romeo and Juliet got married the next day. 

How much time did it take you to fall in love with Kim Seungmin? 

Suddenly, you have no idea. And what makes it all worse is the fact that somehow, it all makes sense in your eyes. Maybe Jisung was right when he told you that giving so much energy into hating the boy would somehow make you end up like the 21st century replica of Anne of the Green Gables and Gilbert Blythe.

“Hello,” he breathes out, the corners of his mouth slightly curving up before he bites the nervous smile down, chewing on his bottom lip. 

“Hi,” you shyly greet him, noticing the book in his hands alongside with the library card, taking it from his reached-out hand. You recognise the book way too well, the hard covers a little dusty and the spine damaged from the amount of people that had borrowed this book from the library before.

You take the copy of Romeo and Juliet and place it on the table, registering it back into the database. It feels like a chapter of your life is ending. It seems like forever since you’ve been assigned the project, but in a way, you know that nothing will ever be the same. 

You kept thinking of his words in the night. How in his romantic mind, love is beautiful. And it’s a journey that requires pain, in a way. 

You kept thinking of how your parents were in love. And then, they were in pain. It was their journey that somehow ended up with you being born, ended up with your father leaving you because he couldn’t bear the responsibility. You kept thinking about how you used to blame your mother, even though all she ever did was raise you and love you. And in a way, you knew Seungmin was right and love was beautiful-- it brought your mum pain, but she was happy while it lasted. And you were the proof of that.

You give him back his library ID, fully expecting him to leave without another word, but he doesn’t. He takes it back from your hold, slipping the card into his back pocket, giving you a meaningful look as he sighs.

“I-”

“Look-”

You both start at the same time, nervously laughing before prompting the other one to speak first. You avert your eyes away from his face, letting him know you won’t be the first one to speak this time, patiently waiting for him to start talking.

“I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry if I ever made it seem like I hate you or anything, because, well, it’s quite the opposite, really,” he chuckles, wiping his hands against his pants, “I never had the guts to hold a proper conversation with you before, because honestly, I was too shy to do that, since you’re like… so smart and everything, but yeah,” he sighs again, shortly looking you in the eyes before finishing his little speech, “I’m just… sorry, I guess?”

You feel your lips tugging into a smile, shaking your head in disbelief before speaking up again. “No, I should be the one saying sorry, because I was the one acting like a bitch… I guess that were just my own insecurities getting in the way.” 

His smile mirrors yours in no time, taking your breath away as you curse in your own head. You feel crazy. So, so damn crazy for liking it so much.

“It’s okay. I guess we both had some things that came in the way. If I wasn’t acting so cold, maybe you wouldn’t hate me as much-”

“No, it’s not your fault!” you stop him, reaching out a hand to gesture him that he is talking nonsense. 

He nervously shifts his weight from one leg to another, taking a short look at his shoes, gaining all of his courage before speaking up again. “I know this may sound ridiculous, but would you maybe want to… hang out sometime?”

“Hang out?” you repeat, voice a few octaves higher than usual.

“Y-yeah,” he nods, eyes big, “I was actually thinking of asking you out on a date but since you used to hate me until now, I didn’t want to go too fast-”

“It can be a date,” you jump in. The voice in your head is screaming at you now, hell, it is running around your head and hitting the walls in anger and panic. How the hell did you end up in this position? Asking Kim Seungmin out on a date? You really must be ridiculous.

“Okay,” he smiles, urgently nodding. 

“Okay.” you grin. You exchange a daring stare into each other’s eyes before he deeply inhales and scratches the back of his neck, turning on his heel and quickly pacing to the door. You almost think he’s going to leave, but he quickly looks back and stops in his tracks, shooting you one last, bright smile.

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow!” he cheers, not even letting you respond before he runs out of the door.

As the library falls into dead silence, you take a seat on the chair, sighing deeply and bringing your head into your palms resting on the table, just like many times before when Seungmin left the comfort of the library, but this time, there’s a goofy smile playing with your lips as you think of the last few minutes, chuckling to yourself. This was an outcome you did not expect from the project-- but it’s an outcome you don’t mind at all.

Romeo and Juliet fell in love at first sight. How long did it take you? 

It’s fair to say at least two weeks.

Maybe you were foolish and maybe it will hurt, but there’s something tempting at the warm feeling in your chest and the excitement Seungmin’s presence makes you feel, and that feeling alone doesn’t let you give up on this just yet. 

Your eyes fall to the opened book of Romeo and Juliet you’d left on your table just before he arrived, meaning to return the copy of the play to the library. You’re met with a sentence that makes you chuckle at the irony, the foolishness washing over you mixed with a feeling of joy you can’t quite comprehend yet, but welcome it with your arms wide open and expecting heart.

‘My only love sprung from my only hate.’

[creativenicocorner]

Piggybacking off of @undeadchestnut​ ‘s wonderful thoughts in this post  (and decided to make my own post because although my thoughts are in the ballpark it might deviate from the posts original intention - and that’s not fair to op ) 

I am eternally glad I’m not alone in these thoughts! Because I absolutely believe Jim has never resolved his trauma both on screen and off. 

And what we see in ROTT is the unfortunate consequences of that, be it as an anxiety induced nightmare or not.

 It is a cautionary tale all the same.

The show has always had a sort of brushing away from trauma and skipping away from a moment to mourn (most likely to get to the next pretty thing or fart joke). It’s a little less in season 1 but still.

And yes, that choice could easily be an executive decision in trying to keep the target audience entertained and laughing - which is fair, but also not so fair. It would have been amazing - especially under the brand name of GDT monster lover extraordinaire - for a kids show to take the time to teach its audience that mourning and looking out for yourself is Important and Needed otherwise there’s a risk of self destructive tendencies developing and heightened stress affecting behavior and judgment [ point to slightly out of character Jim ]

Children should learn how to mourn, and know yes it is sad, and those feelings are okay and should learn how to navigate through them in a healthy way. Its just as important as occasionally scaring kids in shows - they are far smarter and cleverer than we give them credit for and sometimes showing sadness and scary things is beneficial! Just look at Inside Out! Or just any interview with Neil Gaiman on the importance of this!!

Gaiman confesses that the “Hansel and Gretel” fairy tale really frightens him, but he does believe that children must be exposed to dark stories. Gaiman thinks that “if you are protected from dark things then you have no protection of, knowledge of, or understanding of dark things when they show up. I think it is really important to show dark things to kids—and in the showing, to also show that dark things can be beaten, that you have power.” quote from here [x]

And while TOA had attempted this they never committed to it! And the attempts and commitments has, in my opinion, depleted since after season one.

Season one ends with Aargh turning to stone, and Jim watching Toby mourn, and in turn making a choice to go into the Darklands alone instead of taking the time to mourn WITH Toby. Season two after showing how Jim in the darklands alone was Not a Great Idea At All and wonderfully shown the teamwork between Jim and Nomura and was saved from Gunmar with the help of Jims friends. That sharing the burden leads to better results than carrying it alone. Season three we have Merlin going ‘no friends! only you!’ and thus begins the return of Jim’s hero Atlas ‘its gotta be me’ complex. Granted!! It’s not always there!! But the instigator sure is.

But I’m getting ahead of myself ldkjg What I’m underlining is Attempts have been made, these topics have been brought up, but there has been a lack of confidence in committing to it. Most likely due to executive and producer influence - which brings me to...

And while we can go as in depth as we want, we cannot ignore the cold hand of that ever present shadow of Capitalism and Showbiz Executives. The company has products to sell and watching kids cry is not going to sell little plush toys. Showbiz gotta showbiz, and when producers think fart jokes sell more toys than tears well..[vague hand gesture] you get some questionable disappointing choices.

But I digress.

ROTT could have had this wonderful potential in showing that Jim has finally learned and accepted that he doesn’t have to do this alone. Putting this immense stress on an individual and not showing how to share the burden leads to questionable choices!! Cue the previously mentioned self destructive tendencies and warped behavior.

The theme discussed as far back as season 2 is ignored, and instead we go digging even more into the whole Atlas spiel when the Atlas thing (I think) was more of a cautionary nickname given by Strickler. It was originally the Titan Atlas’s punishment to hold the heavens. What was a mythological condemnation is treated as Jim willingly putting the weight of every burden on his own shoulders and that’s not okay!! Not great for adults and especially not great for teens!! And while mythologically speaking Atlas does eventually get relieved from his duties with the Pillars of Hercules, Jim does not! He turns away time and again from a support system that could help ease the weight on his shoulders.  (yes I know the Pillars has multiple stories, but I’m choosing the power of friendship one on this).

Young Atlas does not choose liberation or Pillars of help in ROTT, he passes the burden of the heavens to Toby instead. Jim does not resolve his trauma but pushes it away, and hurts (unintentionally or not) those around him in the process.

The Krohnisfere - which is a very wonky way of spelling CRONUS or CRONOS or KRONOS (The Titan of TIME btw) - could have been used as a plot device in learning to take the time to process, resolve trauma, and care about yourself.

Which sounds potentially boring mixed in with a bunch of magic and robot mecha fights (well not to me lkjg) but it could have been done in an interesting and creative way!! Jim could learn to take the time tor process and accept help and we could still get the giant mecha pacific rim reference fights (and subsequently sold toys that looked like robots). What I’m Trying to say is, they could have done so much more with all of this and still get this message across. 

Anyways ROTT is a cautionary tale on what happens when you don’t take the time to take care of yourself, and subsequently hurt others and (intentionally or not) pass trauma onto others.  

So take the time to take care of yourself kids!! Because THAT is how “Krohnisfere will make right.”

Or as Strickler famously quoted Billy Joel’s song James in Season 1, Episode 1 said, “Do what's good for you, or you're not good for anybody.”

This is one hefty 2 cents on my part  and a very wordy way of saying HARD AGREE, but what can I say? 

ANYWHO I’m HCing Jim wakes up from this nightmare back at his house at the end of Wizards, and asks Barbara and Strickler about potential therapists he can see, and has a heart to heart, and Jim/Young Atlas finally finally learns to accept the Pillars of Hercules/his friends + support group. 

Because no one should be condemned to hold up the heavens alone. You’re not alone. 

Best Wishes,  Nico

[amphibious-entity]

TMBS Book 1 Brain Dump

~An Embarrassingly Long Post~

I don’t know why I’m writing this or why I’m so determined to do it. Maybe to finally assume my true form and become a mega dork on main, or maybe just for fun!

This is basically a compilation of all the main points running through my head after reading The Mysterious Benedict Society (2007) for the first time. Rather than posting a ton and spamming the tag, everything’s here in one neat package! (hopefully this gets it all out of my system rip)

Contents:

The Book Itself

The Book Itself, for real this time

The Characters

A Funny Parallel

The S.Q. Section

Lines & Scenes I Liked

Spoilers abound!

The Book Itself

Upon acquiring the first three books (don’t judge me pls), I was surprised at just how long they are. Like, they’re still pretty light being paperbacks and all, but these books are hefty lads.

The first book has this Disney+ Original Series circle thing printed on it, which is kind of unfortunate. Regardless, I love the cover illustration and yellow is actually my favorite color :D It made me weirdly quite happy whenever I saw the book lying around in my room

Also, it’s really cute how there’s a letter from Mr. Benedict at the end! (It only reveals that you can find out his first name if you “know the code”, meaning the bit of Morse printed below the summary on the back.) Shock and horror, though, as I realized I’m starting to recognize some of the letters

The Book Itself, for real this time

It’s wonderful how the tone of the book really shone through to the show adaptation. Something about the deliberateness of the aesthetic, from the set designs to the fashion to scene compositions, that really sells that particular style— like it’s very clear that this story is being told to us, rather than one we’re seeing unfold, if that makes sense.

Where that narration style stood out to me the most was the first chapter. We are told (rather than shown) how Reynie gets himself to the point of the second test, and there’s this whole twisty time maneuver for that whole sequence of events that’s really interesting

A super secret fun fact about me is that I wanted to be a writer when I was younger! So this particular balance of show vs. tell is really neat, since it runs counter to my own tendencies. The sheer amount of commas in every sentence is also kind of comforting, since Ahah, I Do That in those few serious-ish attempts at writing lol

Overall this book’s style reminds me a lot of Roald Dahl’s books, which are very nostalgic for me :D The whole “kids are more competent than adults” angle helps a lot too haha

The Characters

Oh boy here’s where I get a little bit critical! Overall I did really like this book!! it’s just that that expresses itself in all this weird “”analysis”” lol

Reynie - much better in the books than in the show

It’s sort of a lukewarm take but I feel like show!Reynie is kind of boring? He doesn’t have a lot going on flaw-wise, and obviously since he’s the protagonist he can’t have too many weird traits or else the kids watching can’t project themselves onto him as easily

(I call it the difference between an aspirational protagonist and a vessel protagonist. Going off of the Roald Dahl vibes, think Matilda vs Charlie. show!Reynie is more of a Charlie)

Thus when we get to see him really struggle with the Whisperer and doubt himself it gives him a lot more dimension, at least in my opinion

It is a federal crime that the white knight scenes were not adapted into the show

Sticky - my son

I’ve long held to no one besides myself and my long suffering sister that Sticky is The Best Member of the Society

He happened to hit a lot of the Bingo squares of Stuff I Like In Characters: glasses, anxious, nice :), kind of a coward but ultimately is there for his friends, etc

For some reason I don’t talk about him nearly as much as you-know-who, but I love him just as dearly

Kate & Constance - I don’t have much to say

Kate is really interesting in this book! I like how we get to see more of her depths, in particular that one passage about her belief that she is invincible being the only thing that keeps her from falling apart? :c

Also her constant fidgeting is relatable lol

Constance is somehow a lot more tolerable in the book. I think I’m just one of those people with no patience for small children, unfortunately lol

(Some of) The Adults

It’s interesting that they had such an offscreen presence for most of the book. Giving them more time was probably one of the stronger changes of the show

However if that decision was made at the expense of the white knight scenes I think the choice should have been clear

I like the way Rhonda and Number Two are written

Milligan always on sad boy hours 😔✊

The “mill again” passage is touching but kind of messes up the pacing of the getaway, at least for me. Maybe I should read it again to make sure I didn’t miss something

Miss Perumal is much better in the show. We see so little of her in the book she doesn’t function well as an emotional anchor for Reynie, imo

The Institute Gang

Jackson and Jillson serve their purpose well, and Martina was surprising to say the least. I like the direction they took her in the show! I can’t imagine how funny it must have been to watch the tetherball subplot come out of nowhere lolol

These sections were written out of sequence, so random tidbit I couldn’t fit in The S.Q. Section: I like how he stumbles over his words. relatable

Mr. Curtain

While I think I know why they decided to not give Curtain the wheelchair in the show, we were totally robbed of Actor Tony Hale’s performance for the reveal during the final confrontation

Speaking of the wheelchair, it’s such a powerful symbol of his need for control or rather, his fear of losing it

The Contrast between him and Mr. Benedict. This point is expanded on in A Funny Parallel

Mr. Benedict

Oh boy, Mr. Benedict… How do I say this

I find it hard to trust Mr. Benedict, unfortunately

I mean to say, I do in the sense that I know he would never hurt the kids, thanks to knowing that a) this is a children’s book series and b) the meta (tumblr) states that he is really nice and lovable and stuff, but seriously. Why do the kids trust him at first?? I probably missed something somewhere

I like to think I’m an optimistic person, but unfortunately I’m also super paranoid. The premise of “a bunch of vulnerable orphans team up with a strange old man” is just so odd to me I don’t know how to explain it

I don’t know!!! I really want to trust Mr. Benedict

One of the strengths of the show is that we get to see him more often, and thus he gets to acknowledge more often that the plan is weird and that he feels really badly for putting the kids in danger and that he’s trustworthy and genuine

But his lack of presence for most of the book just makes him into something of a specter, invisible and unknowable, speaking only in riddles from across the bay

Which is why the white knight scene is so important!! I loved that scene ;-;

Because here’s an actual emotional connection! We can actually see it happening, rather than only being told that it exists

Reynie asking for advice and receiving encouragement, in words that demonstrate that Mr. Benedict actually cares about him and worries about him and agghh

It is a federal crime that the white knight scenes were not adapted into the show

But overall this whole issue didn’t ruin my enjoyment of the book at all! It’s just ->

A Funny Parallel

Okay, ready for my biggest brain, hottest take ever??

Mr. Benedict and Mr. Curtain…. are… the same

I mean obviously not entirely, given that one is benevolent and kind and the other is… Mr. Curtain

But seriously. Genius old man seeks out children (mainly orphans) to enact a plan. Said children often end up incredibly devoted to his cause and deeply admire him this is a little flimsy

Undoubtedly that’s intentional and is supposed to show the difference between them, like some kind of cautionary tale? “Let yourself be vulnerable and let others help you, lest you turn eeeeviiillll”

I guess that’s where the aforementioned epic contrast comes in. You get Mr. Curtain, strapped into his wheelchair and hiding behind those mirrored sunglasses, terrified (but unwilling to admit it) of ever showing the tiniest hint of vulnerability, vs. Mr. Benedict, who can let himself fall knowing that someone will catch him :’)

Anyhow I have nothing against the parallels, I just think it’s funny

The S.Q. Section

The S.Q. Quarantine Thread so it doesn’t leak out everywhere else <3

I’d like to meet the emo angstlord genius who read this book and decided to make SQ into Dr. Curtain’s son. What in the world

Okay I should probably preface this by saying that I absolutely adore both book!S.Q. and show!SQ with all my heart. Somehow, despite being a completely different character in both mediums, he has managed to be one of the best characters in either and certainly one of my favorites (besides Sticky of course) in the entire franchise, despite the fact that I’ve only read the first book/watched the show so far. I am confident in this statement.

But seriously! How?? Why?? I could probably write a whole other essay about why show!SQ is such an interesting character, and the change works so incredibly well. I’m just. Baffled

Okay, focus. book!S.Q. is such a sweetheart, oh my goodness. Like, 100% one of the most endearing characters in the book. Poor guy. I don’t even know where to start!!

He just seems to be a genuinely good guy at heart, despite being technically one of the bad guys. He’s genuinely happy for Reynie and Sticky when they became Messengers and helped Kate when she “fell” and was concerned about Constance when she looked sick and how he was in that meeting with Mr. Curtain and Martina?!!? aaahhhhghgh ;-; he just wants people to be happy TT-TT

Comparing him against literally every character at the Institute is probably what makes him so endearing tbh. When everyone else is so awful to the kids, it really makes him stand out. Like a cheerful little nightlight in the worst, most humid and rank bathroom you’ve ever been in

It’s kind of pointless to theorize about a book series that’s already concluded (I think?) but. Is the implication of S.Q.’s forgetfulness supposed to be that Mr. Curtain used him in brainsweeping experiments somehow? The timeline probably definitely absolutely doesn’t line up but like. How did he get to being a Messenger being the way he is now, given how cutthroat the process is? And then of course Mr. Curtain keeps him around as an Executive because he’s fun to mess with and presumably his loyalty. I’m very curious as to how their relationship develops in the other books, if at all. Those are probably where the seeds of the “let’s make them family” logic were planted

But wouldn’t it be hilarious if the reason we don’t know what “S.Q.” stands for in the books is that he just. Forgot

Another thing that occurred to me. Given that he and the other Executives were Messengers at some point, what were their worst fears? What is S.Q.’s worst fear?? Inquiring minds need to know

One last horrible little anecdote: I was thinking about book!S.Q. while eating breakfast, as one does, and suddenly it hit me.

I want to believe The Author Trenton Lee Stewart had the name for a character, S.Q. Pedalian, and was like, “Hm! What sort of quirky trait should this young fellow have?” Because, of course, in this style of fiction every character has to have at least one cartoonish or otherwise distinguishing trait to stand out in the minds of children. (For instance, Kate has her bucket, Sticky has his glasses, Constance is angry, and Reynie is Emmett from the Lego Movie)

Anyhow, he looks around the room, searching for inspiration. Suddenly he comes across a jumbo box of plastic wrap. Completely innocuous in design, save for one line of text. 300 SQ FT.

“…large… S.Q. …feet? THAT’S IT!” i’m sorry

Lines & Scenes I Liked

In no particular order!

Sticky quotes Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Evil combination aerobics/square dancing in the gym with the Executives

Everyone being happy at the end :’)

Everyone partying after Sticky reunites with his parents, and later finding Mr. Benedict asleep at his desk from the moment they shook hands :’’)

Literally any scene with Sticky in it

Any time Kate says “you boys” or “gosh”

[“Um, sir?” S.Q. said timidly, raising his hand. “A thought just occurred to me.” / Mr. Curtain raised his eyebrows. “That’s remarkable, S.Q. What is it?”] clown prince of my heart </3

S.Q.’s determined monologue about searching for clues after he bungled up the first time

Literally any scene with S.Q. in it (please refer to The S.Q. Section)

Reynie trying to resist the Whisperer.

[Let us begin. / First let me polish my spectacles, Reynie thought. / Let us begin. / Not without my bucket, Reynie insisted. He heard Mr. Curtain muttering behind him. / Let us begin, let us begin, let us begin. / Rules and schools are tools for fools, Reynie thought.]

NO MORE HURTIN’ WITH CURTAIN

Milligan showing up on the island!!

Remember the white knight hhhhhh

“controle”

A Super Secret Bonus Section

I would be extremely surprised if anyone read through all the way down here lol. Regardless, here’s a little acknowledgements section :D not tagging anyone since I don’t want to bother all of these people

Special shoutout to tumblr blog stonetowns for unknowingly yet singlehandedly demolishing my reluctance to read the books by posting a ton of cute quotes. Thank you for your service o7

Thanks to the two OGs that liked the post I made right before this one, for being my unwitting enablers and for sticking around despite being a) technically an internet stranger (hello!) and b) someone I haven’t spoken to irl in literal years (hey!!)

Last but not least thankz 2 my sister for putting up with me ranting about the book when I first got it and for asking about “CQ” sometimes lol. (i desperately hope you’re not reading this orz)

[serialkillerinthemaking]

below the cut is my insanely long analysis of sa and its metaphors its bad but i did in an hour with a headache so it is what it is

analyzing sa even though it's been said so much it's redundant I just need a place to collect it all ya know

note: none of this is chronological to the story and its probably just going to be the song lyrics

there are many run-on sentences and grammar problems sorry. I'm writing this off the idea that everyone has a decent understanding of sa and its plot.

obviously, mama who bore is about Wendla’s mom not telling her about sex. mwbmr is the same thing except it shows none of the girl's mom tells them about sex.

all that's known starts with the boys robotically repeating Virgil's Aeneid before Melchior breaks out and starts singing. He explains that science and facts are pushed aside in favor of religion and his parents wanting him to fall in line and not question what is taught. that's the general theme of the song. he is determined not to become part of the hivemind and question what is taught. he wants to find and see and experience more than what they know of and are teaching in terms of the world and he himself.

He mentions the stars and them being sort of all-knowing. stars are brought up again in those you've known sort of being a metaphor for society and the children of his generation and the ones to come. In those youve known, he vows to read Moritz and Wendla's dreams to the stars because they are dead and can really communicate with him and therefore rely on him to spread the word of their thoughts and ideas and stories. this being a cautionary tale, those stories must be told.

he mentions the repression of free thought. children are naturally curious of the world around them but as they grow up the adults push them not to be and only to accept what we know now. he doesn't want to lose this and stop eternally searching for more. this is sort of put into the term "purple summer". meaning the story, the cause, the prevention, and the tragic beauty of the story. we'll come back to the meaning of purple summer itself.

he says one day all will know generally meaning what is happening beneath the surface and societies refusal to talk about it and explore it. in purple summer this comes back more concrete. instead of one day, more like a distant hope, he says all shall know. they will know now, soon, not one day in the distant future. In the end, his journey is complete and it goes from one day all will know to all shall know. 

tbol and my junk are pretty straight forward you guys don't need me for those.

touch me is basically about the yearning for sex and to know what is. there are some metaphors but they are pretty self-contained within the song itself and don't really have enough grasp on them to go too deep. either that or they're really not actually that deep lol.

woyb is basically about Melchior and Wendla wanting to be with each other and trying to resist the temptation because of oppression

The dark I know well is about the rape and sexual assault of Martha and Ilse at the hands of her father and artist friends, respectively. Again the song uses one central self-contained metaphor that is never brought up again in the context of the show and is pretty easy to understand. 

and then there were none has frau Gabor intermittently reading a letter she wrote in response to Moritz asking for money to escape. Moritz jumps in and sings his thoughts as he reads the letter and basically watches his last hope fall through. he feels she tries to sugarcoat the point of the letter. he is mad for saying things in an attempt to make him feel better and to try her best to help, such as writing a letter to his parents. she tells him she still cares for him but can't help him. he feels he has no other option left after failing his tests. you all know the plot you don't need me to explain it.

mirror blue night Melchior is horny blah blah blah I hate this song moving on

I believe while they disobey the church and its a church song irony yeah

(it's so late I'm sorry)

don't do sadness blue wind ohoho lets goooo

Moritz wishes to be a butterfly, no longer having to deal with life, and happily flying. he says he doesn't do sadness because he just can't handle it anymore. the failing the test hurt him and frau Gabor refusing to help was the straw that broke the camel's back. he can't take it anymore. Ilse comes in and sees he's sad. it's cold and dark outside symbolizing his current mood so she sings about the happiness of spring and summer to cheer him up. fall and winter are analogies for sadness and pessimism, spring and summer are happiness and optimism, hence spring awakening, the happiness coming back after the sad times. purple summer also references that but that's for later. she talks about when they were kids happily playing in the sun. wind, a cold sad month thing always comes back but it always goes away. happiness will always come and sadness will always go just like the seasons. Moritz is only living in fall and autumn, not seeing the spring and summer ahead. Ilse gets through her life through optimism relying on the blue wind never taking when it creeps up and always going away once again. and then it just kinda repeats you get the rest.

left behind. he never got to grow up and be an adult and its his parent's (mostly his dad's) fault. metaphor once again fully in the song not really brought up again.

you guys got the rest (more than sufficient critical conjecture on woybr) until WHISPERING whooo

she hears the ghosts because throughout she alive and dead. sort of. everyone is sad. she describes her family's grief at her funeral. the preacher uses her as a cautionary tale and warns others of her fate. they say she did bad things and this how she ended up. such a shame, such a sin. she feels powerless, like she didn't have a voice and only could do what was told of her. she didn't know any better despite her best efforts. she mentions summer longing in the wind. happiness being swept up by sadness was pretty much her whole "relationship" with Melchior.

👏those👏you've👏known

there is so much I'm just gonna analyze it line by line (i consider this the pinnacle of metaphors in theatre considering the buildup)

MORITZ

Those you’ve known

And lost, still walk behind you

All alone

They linger till they find you

self explanatory pretty much

Without them

The world grows dark around you

And nothing is the same until you know that they have found you

Melchior's world has crumbled, he feels like it never going to be the same without them, but he found them.

WENDLA

Those you’ve pained

May carry that still with them

All the same

They whisper: “All forgiven.”

He hurt her, and she's still hurting but she forgives him because there is love in heaven, all will be forgiven.

Still your heart says

The shadows bring the starlight

And everything you’ve ever been is still there in the dark night

everything she was was left behind, but she still finds it here.

WENDLA

When the northern wind blows

The sorrows your heart holds

There are those who still know –

They’re still home

We’re still home

he's still hurting, they're still there.

MORITZ (Sung In Counterpart)

Though you know

You’ve left them far behind

You walk on by yourself, and not with them –

Still you know

They will fill your heart and mind

When they say there’s a way through this

he's living and must continue without them but they are still there in his heart.

MELCHIOR, MORITZ AND WENDLA

Those you’ve known

And lost, still walk behind you

All alone

Their song still seems to find you

They call you

As if you knew their longing –

They whistle through the lonely wind, the long blue shadows falling

they are still there! 

MELCHIOR

All alone

But still I hear their yearning

Through the dark, the moon, alone there, burning

The stars too

They tell of spring returning –

And summer with another wind that no one yet has known

The stars are back! they are all knowing and tell of the sadness passing, the happiness returning, with something new.

(MORITZ and WENDLA Join with Counterparts)

They call me –

Through all things –

Night’s falling

But somehow I go on

You watch me

Just watch me –

I’m calling

From longing

a call back to all thats known

WENDLA (Sung in Counterpart)

When the northern wind blows

The sorrows your heart’s known –

I believe…

she still believes in forgiveness.

MORITZ (Sung in Counterpart)

Still you known

There’s so much more to find –

Another dream, another love you’ll hold

he doesn't have to be stuck on them and they are giving him permission to move on and find happiness again.

Still you know

To trust your own true mind

On your way – you are not alone

There are those who still know

a call back to all that's known, 

MELCHIOR (Sung Alone)

Now they’ll walk on my arm through the distant night

And I won’t let them stray from my heart

Through the wind, through the dark, through the winter light

I will read all their dreams to the stars

i dissected this line back in all thats known but STARS! they back

I'll walk now with them

I’ll call on their names

I’ll see their thoughts are known

they know now! all will know he knows and know they know! their story will be told!

WENDLA

Not gone –

Not gone –

they are still there!

MELCHIOR

They walk with my heart –

And I'll never let them go

they are still there!

I’ll never let them go

I’ll never let them go

You watch me

Just watch me

I’m calling

I’m calling –

And one day all will know

ALL👏WILL👏KNOW👏

P U R P L E  S U M M E R

purple has historically represented freedom, the kids now have freedom and summer here means happiness. so now they have both. purple summer is just yeah knowledge and freedom of oppression and the hivemind because this Germany 1890 bad (its a john Mulaney reference I'm so sorry im losing my mind)

And all shall know the wonder

I will sing the song of purple summer

All thats known, all will know all shall know. They will know because we will tell them.

And still, I wait

The swallow brings

A song of what's to follow -

The glory of the spring

The happiness! The knowledge! The freedom! Its coming! It waking it up! SPRING IS AWAKENING! ahhhhhhhhhh

[jadelotusflower]

Roundup: August 2021

This month: Jane Eyre, Wide Sargasso Sea, Don’t Call it a Cult, The Secret Garden, Showbiz Kids, Masters of the Universe: Revelation, Lucifer.

Reading Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte) - I’ve been meaning to read the Wide Sargasso Sea for a long, long time, but first I thought I’d revisit the source material. I find my opinion hasn’t much changed - I still love the prose, still love Jane as a character, and still find Rochester extremely unappealing. The section with Jane at school is the most engaging for me, and her early time as a governess at Thornfield, but as soon as Rochester shows up I just find him so irritating I have no idea why Jane loves him so much (other than he was the first man to ever show her a scrap of attention). I mean, I know to an extent - I've read the Takes, and part of fiction is accepting what you want for the character as a reader and what they want for themselves can be two different things, and that's not the fault of the text. I can be satisfied by the ending because Jane gets what she wants, I just can’t help but wonder about a Jane who was found by John Eyre before she went to Thornfield, or who took her inheritance and made her own way after Moor House. Byronic heroes just aren't my thing I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Wide Sargasso Sea (Jean Rhys) - The first Mrs Rochester of Jane Eyre strikes an uneasy tone to a modern reader; she does not utter a word in the novel, is depicted as animalistic and almost demonic, her story only told in a self-serving manner by Rochester, and conveniently disposed of so Jane can return to claim him. Rhys reimagines Bertha as Antoinette, a “white Creole” of Jamaica in a postcolonial take on the racial/social prejudices and hierarchy only hinted at in Eyre, where Bertha being Creole primarily an aspect of her Otherness, and in which Rochester describes himself as being desired as a husband because he was "of good race" . In Sea, although Antoinette is white (passing, perhaps), he sees her "not English or European either" and this contributes to his rejection of her (and perhaps his willingness to believe she is mad). The novel is surprisingly short - it skips over the meeting and courtship of Antoinette and Rochester (tellingly unnamed in the novel) entirely, jumping directly from her childhood/coming of age to the couple already married, and over much of Bertha's (renamed by Rochester) sad life in the attic. Still, there's a density to the writing, much is implied beyond the sparse use of words and recurring imagery - subjugation, reflection, and of course, fire - when freed slaves (Rhys changes the timeframe to after the passing of the Emancipation Act of 1833) set fire to Antoinette's family plantation, a pet parrot whose wings have been clipped by her English step-father Mason, cannot flee and falls to a fiery doom, in a grim omen of Bertha's fate. It did, however, leave me wanting more - I understand Rhys' stylistic choices and restraint, but in her effort to give voice to the voiceless, Antoinette/Bertha remains somewhat an enigma. Don’t Call it a Cult: Keith Raniere and the women of NXIVM (Sarah Berman) - I continue to be disturbed but intrigued by the NXIVM case, not only because of my abhorrence of MLMs/pyramid schemes, but my bafflement as to how this thoroughly unremarkable man was able to hold sway over so many women. My mild criticism of the two documentaries on this subject was that they tended to jump around in time so you never really got a good idea of what happened when. This book provides a well researched, detailed summary of events and linear chronology of Raniere’s perverse pathology reaching all the way back to childhood, and so is both an excellent supplement to the already informed, and broad overview to those new to the case. Berman is a Vancouver-based journalist who was present at Raniere’s trial and gives insight into witness testimony, supported by her own interviews and extensive research. There's less of a focus on the sensationalised celebrity members, with greater emphasis on the lesser known victims - including the three Mexican sisters who were all abused by Raniere, one of whom was kept confined to a room for years. It's difficult reading, consolation being the

knowledge that Raniere is rotting in prison and that his crimes finally caught up with him. Watching The Secret Garden (dir. Marc Munden) - Spoilers, if one needs a spoiler warning for a 110 year old novel. One of those stories that is adapted every generation, and generally I have no problem with this, since new adaptations can often bring something new or be a different take on old material (see Little Women 2019). But a part of me can’t help feel why bother with this when the perfect 1993 version exists. There is an Attempt at something new with this film, moving the setting forward to 1947 (Mary’s parents having died during the Partition), and turning the garden from a small walled secret to a mystical, huge wonderland full of ferns and flowers and endless sun. But in doing so, the central metaphor is lost - rather than Mary discovering something abandoned and run wild, gently bringing it back to life with love and care, she merely discovers a magical place that requires no effort on her part. There’s also less of a character arc for Mary, remaining unpleasant far into the proceedings, forcing Colin to visit the garden instead of it being his true wish, and generally succeeding by imposing her will on everyone else. In many ways she’s more like Burnett's other child heroine Sarah Crewe - the film opens I’m with her telling stories to her doll including Ramayana, which is eerily reminiscent of Alfonso Cuaron's (also perfect) 1995 adaptation of A Little Princess. But I suppose a sliver of credit where it's due - Julie Walters' Mrs Medlock is less of an antagonist, with Colin Firth's Lord Craven being Mary's primary obstacle. There's also a subplot with Mary's mother's depression following the death of her sister being the reason for her neglect (and Merlin alum Rupert Young shows up briefly as Mary's father) but like shifting the time period, there just doesn't seem to be a point to it. The climax of the film involves the Manor burning down (writer Jack Thorne stealing from Rebecca too, lol), with Mary and Craven have a very calm conversation as fire and smoke surrounds them. It’s all very bizarre, but also…rather dull? Don't bother with this, just watch the 1993 film again. Showbiz Kids (dir. Alex Winter) - a really interesting documentary on the titular subject - Winter was himself a child actor on Broadway before his film career kicked off in The Lost Boys and Bill and Ted, and has been able to assemble a broad range of interview subjects - Mara Wilson, Evan Rachel Wood, Wil Wheaton, Jada Pinkett Smith among others - former child actors, those still in the business, and some up and comers like Disney star Cameron Boyce (who I was sad to see in the coda has passed away). We also follow two young hopefuls - Marc, attending acting classes and auditioning in pilot season, yet to book a job but his parents are invested in "his" dream, and Demi, already established on Broadway but having to start to make choices between a career and a childhood. There's no voiceover, no expert opinions in this, letting the actors speak for themselves, but there is a telling juxtaposition of Marc returning home, jobless but having fun in the pool with his friends, while Demi has to cancel the summer camp she had been so looking forward to because she has booked a new role. The film is fairly even handed, but ultimately I took away that there just seems to be more harm than not in this industry, and abuses of many kinds. It does make you wonder about the ethics of child acting, at least in the current system where the cautionary tales are plentiful. Masters of the Universe: Revelation (episodes 1-5) - Mild spoilers I guess? I was never really into He-Man as a kid, other than the Secret of the Sword movie, so most of the in jokes and references in this went over my head. I have to admit, it was actually seeing all the outrage that made me want to check this out and see what all the complaining was about. I actually…really enjoyed it?!? I’m sympathetic to the complaints of a bait and switch (creators really need to learn to say

“just wait and see”), but other than that in my view the rest seemed completely unfounded. Adam/He-Man being killed in the first episode and the impact that has on Eternia and those left behind is actually a really interesting premise. This isn’t a TLJ situation; in contrast everyone (except Evil-Lyn) is always going on about how much they miss Adam, and the whole point of the first arc is him coming back. There’s also a nice little detail of Adam in Preternia (heroes heaven) choosing to remain as he is rather than as He-Man where all his predecessors have chosen their “ultimate” forms. I love him and his Magical Girl transformation. As for Teela - female characters can’t win, it seems. If they are perfect, they’re Mary Sues, if they have flaws, they’re unlikeable. Teela is Going Through things and is on a journey, but I often feel (and it seems the case here) that people confuse a character arc with author intent. No! Just because a character says/does something it doesn't mean you're supposed to agree with them! Some of Teela's actions may be petty and her demeanor less than sweet, but people make bad choices as a response to grief, and I actually thought her anger over Adam never telling her his secret and how that manifested was a pretty interesting take. I'll be interested to see the next half of the season, and ignore the ragebait youtube commentary. One more thing - Evil-Lyn (perfectly voiced by Lena Headey) was an absolute delight. Lucifer (season 5 part 2): They’ve basically given up on the procedural side of things by now and are leaning heavily into the mythology, which works for me since the case of the week is always the least interesting part of any show. It also struck me this season that there’s gender parity in the main cast (Lucifer, Amenadiel, Dan and then Chloe, Maze, Ella, Linda) - and actually, that’s more women than men. How often does that happen?!? I can’t say I’m particularly engaged with the Lucifer/Chloe pairing, but am happy to go along with it since that’s where the whole plot revolves. The best scenes for me this season were with God’s Dysfunctional Family, even if the lead up to the finale felt rushed (I understand the need to wrap things up in case of cancellation but still). I would have liked to see more of the sibling dynamics between the angels and less romantic drama, but hey. The character death got me, as well. I didn't see it coming and I didn't realise how much I had enjoyed that character until they were gone and well...it got me. I see the last season is coming soon, I'm not exactly sure where they can go from here, but looking forward to it nonetheless. Writing I was actually quite sick this month with a throat infection, so wasn't in the best frame of mind to get anything finished like I had planned to. I'm going to hold off posting the word count this month and roll it over to September when hopefully I've actually posted things.

[tomonari-nue]

For the ask meme: BCFGMST! You seem really cool and an excellent writer and I wanna know more about you

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

That depends! Some of my OC driven stories do have certain aspects of myself based on my own experiences, sometimes I even apply them to canon characters, mostly because it’s very easy for me to talk about things that I’ve experienced myself. So I do tend to draw inspiration from IRL experiences! Actually, the shirt Yuuji’s wearing in keep you close (wherever i am) is actually based on my favourite shirt LMAOO–

C: What character do you identify with most?

Oh christ, that’s a hard one! I’d say it would be a very weird mix between Yuuji, Maki and Geto JKJJFJK– I think with Yuuji it’s the desire to have choices in life and complete autonomy over it, something that is continuously challenged in the story with the circumstances he finds himself in and Sukuna. It just kind of resonates with me to have this feeling over not being completely in control over yourself and despairing over it.

With Maki, I suppose is the family side of things; I have a bit of a difficult relationship with one side of the family and I can kind of relate with Maki on how she wants to rise above them out of pure desire to be better and out of spite – just this big Fuck You that’s says “I know you tried hard to break me, but guess what, I’m still here!”.

With Geto, it’s mostly just with his younger counterpart, being furious at the injustices he faces and the moral dilemma he gets out of it. Obviously I never got anywhere near the deep-end like he did, but on some level, I can relate to his downfall. I understand why he did it, even if it’s terrible, and it made me think of how I too was faced with really shit chapters in my life – made me wonder what the other choices were back then. On some levels, Geto is almost a personal cautionary tale for me.

F: Care to share a favorite hurt/comfort fic?

God, I am absolutely terrible with fic sharing, because none ever stick to my mind permanently. But I do love @nanamispto‘s fics because the way they engage emotions and the thought processes behind them. They just handle raw emotions very thoughtfully and gently, it’s very comforting to read even when you feel sad.

G: Care to share a favorite crack fic?

Literally give me any fic that has the trio being stupid teenagers in it and/or bully Sukuna. Actually, YOUR FIC CAME TO MY MIND!! I cannot stress enough how I actually laughed outloud when reading it; their antics were hilarious, especially Nobara waterboarding a fucking plate had me cackling.

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

I have way too many WIPs and ideas but...

there’s another Tokyo Trio Friendship (?) fic I’m trying to finish, but let’s be real, I probably will sneak in Itafushikugi feels again, because I love them and their relationship gives me serotonin.

and then there is a fun 5+1 Itafushi fic I’m also trying to finish and I love it because it’s hilarious since it’s just Megumi being an absolute disaster around Yuuji. I need more of that in my life.

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

Answered here!

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

Love Triangles – stop being cowards, Polycules are literally right there. Also, I don’t know if that’s a trope but it’s something that irks me a lot, taking one aspect of a perfect three-dimensional character and making that their only personality – there are more facettes you can work with! Get complex! Explore! I’m tired of seeing all the Yuuji is the Dumb one tropes and not taking into account how he’s a fast learner and incredibly compassionate! I’m tired of the saying that Megumi is the Calm one, when he has a temper and is constantly holding himself back from violence! I’m tired of not seeing Nobara’s emotionally insightful side that constantly meshes with her ego! STOP GIVING ME UNFAITHFUL GOJO FICS WHEN HE’S STILL TRAUMATISED FROM HIS CHILDHOOD AND GENUINELY CARES FOR HIS STUDENTS BECAUSE OF THOSE EXPERIENCES!

But I guess I can attribute that to the huge amount of Explicit Fics that I keep finding in the tag, like, sure have fun but uh, ANYONE HAVE SOME PLOT IN HERE? SOME FOUND FAMILY?

[everlarkficexchange]

Operation: BREAD (Bring Revenge on Everdeen to Avenge Dad)

Written by: @alliswell21

Prompt 23: Rumor: MrEverdeen crossed fence dividing Town and Seam, kidnapped Mrs Everdeen making her his common law wife. Years later, Mellark sons plan to avenge their father by raiding Seam and kidnapping one of Everdeen’s daughters for one of them to take as a wife! Does Katniss “volunteer,” does she escape, how do the 3 brothers decide what to do with her since they didn’t plan it all out well? [submitted by @567inpanem]

Rated: T for now, for language.

Author’s Note: So, I resigned myself that this prompt won’t be completed by the new dateline of May 10th, because believe it not, quarantining with the husband and children at home makes for a very busy day… everyday. I haven’t been able to write anything for days at a time, and everytime I come back, I reread what I’ve written so far, and find faults that need fixing and what I hoped to be a short story is turning into a long one shot because I’m incapable of keep things simple… and now I’m ranting about everything instead of thanking everyone— from the EFE administrators, to @567inpanem for the prompt, and y’all dear readers— and wishing all moms a happy Mother’s Day, even if you celebrate it on a different date in your country… and I a belated happy birthday to Katniss Everdeen and Also a happy Mother’s Day to her, because she deserves it… anywho…

Here’s is the very first part of this story, that can’t make up its mind on what it wants to be (it’s leaning into romcom territory right now), I’ll post all my submissions soonish (hopefully finished), and I apologize for any formatting defects since I’m posting from my cell phone, otherwise I’ll forget to post it at all.

Sorry this is messy! I love y’all! Stay healthy.

————

“Quiet, you morons!” Bannock… whispers?

Is that the right descriptor for the harsh, low sounds that comes from his mouth? I’m not quite sure, but I look at him sheepishly, since I was the one to trip on air this time around and nearly knock down a clothesline, poles and all.

“S-sorry…” I stutter drunkenly.

Rye shrugs, uncaring. Asshole!

Bannock glares at us with his bloodshot, angry blue eyes before turning around and creeping forward.

It’s a chilly night out, with no stars and just a sliver of moon casting minimal light over us, ideal to maraud and raid… if we lived any place else, that is.

If we were to find ourselves face to face with the flashlight of a Peacekeeper patrolling the streets, things could go anywhere from awkward to deadly, and I really hope we don’t have to find out how it’ll truly go. We’re wasted, outside our house after curfew, and facing our mother’s wrath would probably be as terrible as any punishment the peacekeepers would inflict on us.

The later option has me swallowing thickly.

I’m no coward by any stretch of the word… but I do enjoy being alive, so… yeah.

“Don’t mess around, no more!” Bannock chides.

As soon as Bann turns around, Rye mouths his words back, mockingly, and I wonder— not for the first time— how can my brothers be so immature? Bannock just turned 25, while Rye has the mind of a 13 year old trapped in the muscular body of a 24 year old man; leaving sweet, little me, the 21 year old baby sibling, to bring the rear.

Rye burps, mostly quietly, earning another warning glare from Bann. All things considered, I’m a little impressed at how stealthily we’ve been moving so far, being as enebriated as we are and all. But who knows? Maybe we really aren’t as slick as my alcohol soaked brain thinks we are, and I’m just too skunked to know any better.

“D’you think we’ll be back before father wakes to take care of the ovens?” Rye slurs a little, squinting his eyes at a cat trotting across the alley in front of him. A second later he’s frowning down at the cat, shushing it obnoxiously, as if it’s soft paws are the ones making the stopping sounds coming from his own boots.

Bannock shrugs, “Who cares!”

I’m about to raise my hand and respond that I do, I care, but Rye starts laughing like an idiot, already distracted by something else. We turn to catch him picking up a stick and throwing it at the poor, unsuspecting cat. As soon as the stick hits it’s side, the animal loses its balance, making it fall into a trash can, with a terrified cry.

It’s awful. And loud.

“Knock it off!” Bannock growls as quietly as he can. “You’re gonna wake up the whole town, asshole!”

The cat meows indignantly, climbing out of the trash. He jumps to the other side and it’s gone in the next moment.

I sigh, rubbing one hand over my face. “Guys, I think we should go back. I don’t think Father will approve of this.”

“Shut up, Peeta!”

“Yeah! Shut it, runt!”

I grunt in aggravation under my breath. “I’m serious. We shouldn’t be out here… at all!” I insist.

“Why did you come then?” Bann hisses.

“You dragged me out with you, jackass!” I counter, pointedly. Plus, I’m the least drunk out of the three of us, and I figured I should keep an eye on them two, make sure they don’t get hurt in this idiotic quest… but I don’t say that out aloud. “I still don’t understand why, are we stumbling across town in the middle of the night, risking getting caught outside after curfew.”

“You know why, Peeta! We’ve gone over it to death,” snaps Bann, twisting his whole body to face me and almost walking into a potted plant sitting by somebody’s back door. “Father doesn’t know how to take care of himself, let alone how to defend his honor!”

“Our hands have been forced, runt. We need to pick up the slack, that’s why!”

I roll my eyes at my brothers.

It’s true though. For the last 26 years, our father has been both the butt of every joke said in the streets of district 12, and the victim of a tragic cautionary tale, people somehow feel the sadistic inclination to bring up to us, Mellark boys, as if we needed the reminder.

“Geez… save it for Everdeen, Bann. Let the runt keep his head instead of chewing it off him!”

Bannock frowns. It’s not everyday Rye comes to my defense, which means he really must be hammered.

Cool! I love brotherly affection… even if given under the influence.

“Whatever.” Bannock mutters under his breath. “We’re here anyway.” He signals to the fence dividing our district into two unequal sections: the merchant quarter, where we live, and the Seam (our destination), the largest— yet poorest— side of 12.

It’s unclear why the government erected the fence running right through the district in the first place, but the effect of having a literal barrier separating everyone in our small district, couldn’t be any clearer: we have a huge social divide amongst our people, very distinct and hard to overcome. Both sides distrusting the other, despite there never being a tangible reason why.

Personally, I think the most logical explanation for the creation of the internal fence, was just sheer desire to create hostility and antagonism between the citizens of 12… maybe it’s easier for the Capitol’s long arm to control a podunk place like here, when there’s an unbridgeable social chasm between our own denizens; how can we band together to demand better treatment and fair representation from the mighty Capitol, when we’re fighting with each other?

Of course, I keep my opinion to myself, because speaking of such things is just a sure way to find oneself in prison, facing charges of public agitation and whatnot.

Bann cuts through my musings, “Alright… let’s find a spot to cross over.” He says determined and still very intoxicated.

The worst kept secret in District 12, is how some sections of the fence are too close to the houses in the merchant side. If one really wants to cross into the other side over the fence, one only needs to look for a low wall adjacent to the top links of the fence to climb on, and after that, it’s all a matter of gravity pulling you down. Its been done before too…

Everyone speculates that’s what happened the day our father fell into disgrace: A man from the Seam found a weak spot to exploit… and the rest is history. Never mind the fact that jumping the fence is a common enough hooligan deed; how else can teenage couples reach the Slag Heap at the edge of the old coal mines to engage in their secret affairs?

It only takes us a few minutes to find a brick wall circling the backyard of a random house, just two feet shy of the fence.

We climb it with all the grace of a pig crawling up a greased pole, but after much huffing and puffing, we manage— with great effort— to drag ourselves over the barrier. We’re sweating and swearing, but who could blame us for that? We Mellark boys are just too broad and heavy with muscle, add to the mix the fact that we’ve drank our body weight in white liquor right before Bann had the brilliant idea of dragging us out here, and you have an uncoordinated— mostly clumsy— sad excuse, trio of vandals.

Rye goes first, then I go; finally, Bannock splatters down like a bullfrog, falling on his ass. He’s disgruntled and I suspect in dire need of a nap.

“Come on!” He commands, dusting his behind sloppily.

We’ve been walking aimlessly through unfamiliar dirt roads and dark unpaved alleys. The place is littered with produce crates set upside down in neat circles every other road… I vaguely wonder if that’s what passes as a socializing hot spot here in the Seam, like the square with its concrete benches is for us in town?

Sometimes I forget how things can be so shitty on this side of the District. It makes my stomach twist unpleasantly with guilt, realizing I take certain privileges for granted.

About five minutes into our stupid intrusion into Seam territory, Rye speaks up.

“Dude… do you know where they live?”

Bannock’s head snaps up, clearly annoyed. “How hard can it be to find the Seam’s apothecary?”

Very, actually.

First of all, The Seam consists of row after row of seemingly identical shacks, in varying states of shabbiness, arranged in a huge matrix of sorts. Each row is made of three to five houses with a slim road in between the next set of homes.

For what I gather in my limited liquor-addled brain, each horizontal row has a designated letter, and the vertical street goes by number. Other than that, there are no other distinguishing signs, telling us where we are or how to find the ‘Seam apothecary’ as Bann inarticulately dubbed it.

Rye groans in annoyance, seeming ready to overrule Bannock and call the whole thing off, himself; but my drunk ass is too stupid to keep my big mouth shut.

“They live close to the electric fence. Right before the meadow. They probably have a fence-in yard, too.”

I wince, regretting my words right away. I shouldn’t have said anything, but like an idiot, I couldn’t help spilling out the small bursts of information I’ve gathered over the years on the Everdeens.

I’m ashamed to admit it, but the Everdeens are a bit of an obsession to me… for all of us Mellarks, really. Given our entangled past with them, it shouldn’t be so much of a revelation, but this thing between our families has been a nuisance ever since I can remember and while my brothers and mother use it as a focal point of hatred and animosity. For me, is a curiosity driven thirst for knowledge on everything Everdeen. Anything that could shed light on our sordid past, I would gobble up, trying to answer why something that has virtually nothing to do with me and my brothers, still haunt us everywhere we go.

Rye frowns. “Fence-in yard?” He looks around the houses we are passing, realizing none of those have fences.

“Goat.” Bannock grunts, nodding thoughtfully. “Good catch, runt.”

“Huh?” Rye is scratching his head, confused.

“The blonde girl,” Bann says with mild irritation.

People from the Seam have a very specific look to them: dark— usually straight— hair, gray eyes, olive skin… ‘blonde’, blue eyed and pale, is more of a descriptor for people from the merchant class, like us… like Mrs. Everdeen.

The poor woman must stick out like a sore thumb in here; probably the same goes to her merchant-looking daughter, Primrose.

“What about the blonde?”

“She makes goat cheese.” Bann huffs as explanation, but since Rye still looks like the concept is too hard to fathom, Bannock grunts, expanding. “She trades the cheese in town. Mainly with Father. Which means, Everdeen has to keep at least one goat for the girl to have access to milk.”

“M’kay… goat, fences, meadow.” Rye lists clumsily on his fingers, following after Bann. “Got it!”

We quickened our steps in the direction of the electric fence. I’m still kicking myself for saying anything when we reach the last row of houses before the meadow.

I really hope I’m wrong about them having a goat, although I find it hard to believe Primrose steals milk from other people for her cheeses. She looks so sweet and innocent.

Alas, I’m too clever for my own good sometimes.

The very first house in the row at the edge of the meadow, has a pen connected to the house on the strip of backyard allotted to them. A tiny but sturdy shed stands against the back wall of the house, and if my eyes don’t deceive me, I can barely make out the snout of a goat, peeking out of the narrow opening of the shed.

“This is it!” Rye crows excitedly, rubbing his hands together and licking his chops like a hungry, humanoid wolf.

“Yeah. Finally!” Grunts Bann, “keep your voice down, doofus.” his reaction, both frenzied and anxious.

“Let’s do this!” Rye’s smile is deranged.

“Great!” I hiccup with fake enthusiasm. “What are we doing?” I deadpan, staring at my siblings with all the aggravation I can muster.

My brothers speak excitedly at the same time:

“Taking one of the girls back home with us!”/“Beating the shit out of Everdeen!”

My brothers look at each other, perplexed, and go, “”What?!” At the same time.

“Fuck!” I groan to the skies, noting its near dawn. “You better be joking! We came all the way out here, and you idiots didn’t plan what you were going to do once we arrived?”

“No… I mean, yes! No. it’s simple,” Slurs Rye trying to stare me in the eye and failing miserably, “We’re dragging Everdeen out here. Then, we’ll beat the snot out of the bastard, and have you doodle the whole thing out for Father… you’ll finally use that art talent of yours for something we’ll all enjoy… not just you,”

“No, no, no, no!” Snaps Bannock. “We’re taking one of Everdeen’s daughters, bring her back home with us, and avenge father.”

“What? Why?” Rye whines much too loud and even I shush him. “I thought we were just gonna jump the bastard and rearrange his face a little,” Rye sounds disappointed.

Bannock answers right away, sounding like our mother when she’s chiding us for some thing or another. “Dude… the guy stole Dad’s girl! You know what they say about repaying a slight with the same coin and all that shit. It stands to reason, the course of action here is to take one of the girls home with us, sleep with her, and get her pregnant or something, then she can’t come back to her daddy.”

I throw my hands up in the air, “That’s it! I’m out!” My brain practically short circuits with the outrageous shit my brothers are spewing out of their mouths.

Sure, beating the lights out of an unsuspecting man in front of his house in the middle of the night is already crazy, but Bann’s idea to take a girl away from her home, it’s beyond preposterous!

Instead of lashing out, I turn around and stalk away as fast as my legs can carry me. I’m still tipsy, so I stumble a little, but I’m determined to leave.

“Hey! Where are ya going?!”

I get grabbed by the bíceps and pulled back to ‘hide’ behind a scraggly bush overlooking the house we assume is Everdeen’s. My brothers push me down by the shoulders roughly, until I’m sitting on my ass.

“The hell is wrong with you two?” I snarl, trying to punch and kick either one of them.

“Shut up, runt! They’re gonna hear you!”

“Good! Then someone will call the Peacekeepers over.”

“Wha— No! Why would you want that?” Rye whines.

“I didn’t sign up for any of this crazy shit!” I spit enraged.

“Dude, you can’t bail on operation BREAD,” Rye scrunches up his face.

“Operation Bread? What in the hell, is operation Bread?” I wrench my arms free from them at last, glowering up at both.

“Bring Revenge on Everdeen to Avenge Dad!” Rye says proudly, a lopsided smile brightens his face, and all I want to do is punch his nose.

“You’re insane!” I sputter.

“No… I’m cle-ver!” Rye grins, tapping a finger to his temple.

“Come on, Peeta. You know this needs to be done!” Bann cuts in.

“No! It doesn’t!” I argue. I still feel woozy from alcohol though, so it’s costing me too much effort trying to get up. “This is just insane, Bannock! What you’re proposing is just… heinous!” I hiss.

Bannock’s face hardens, “Nobody will see it like that.” He assures, “An eye for an eye, baby brother.”

“So what? We’re gonna kidnap and rape an innocent girl in revenge, and you think that’ll fix anything? Will it bring peace? It’ll help you get Madelynn’s parents to back off and let her marry you?” I’m so pissed off, I’m pretty sure spittle is flying out of my mouth. “It won’t do anyone any good! Not us, nor father, and especially not Katniss or Primrose!”

“Shut the fuck up!” Bannock flies at me, and all I have to do is lift my arms to shield my head.

Rye is an equal opportunity asshole most of the time, but in this moment, he’s the one stopping Bannock from breaking my face in two, and I’m very grateful for my middle brother manhandling our eldest for me.

“Rape is a strong word, runt.” Rye gasps with the effort of keeping Bannock from kicking my ass. But if the wrinkling of his nose is any indication, I think maybe my words are chipping away some of his complicitness in this mess. “Maybe, what Bann meant, was, one of us will… you know… spend time with the girl, and then… make her his common law wife or something?” Rye looks at Bann expectantly.

Bannock nods. Rye lets go of him.

We all stay silent, breathing heavily for a moment.

“Same coin. Simple as that.”

If the stories are to be believed, Sorrel Everdeen crossed the fence dividing the merchant quarter and the seam, kidnapped my father’s betrothed— Lily— and made her his common law wife, despite being common knowledge, that the woman in question was engaged to our father since they were very young.

It’s an old rumor, really, with no real way to fact-check the events that led to this moment in time, but there’s always been some nasty whispering churning around town; tales varying in height and perjury, sometimes scandalous, others depraved, always with add-ons and full of conjectures flavored by the speaker in turn, but never the whole truth.

The worst thing is that the stories die down for a while when something juicer comes up, but then resurface, like a persistent oily stain on cement… It’s been 26 years since the real events leading to the Everdeens controversial marriage took place, yet the old gossip mill in District 12 has waxed over and rewritten the sordid story through the lense of judgemental people over and over again, until even our mother has started to repeat the outlandish tales, as if she wasn’t an active participant of the story herself.

Still… “I just can’t!” I say both exasperated and grossed out. “We should just go home—“

I get cut off when the door of the Everdeen house opens spilling faint candlelight into the almost blackened-out street.

My brothers rush to huddle around me, crowding on top of me like a pair of boulders… or worse: a pair of sweaty, heavy, alcohol doused men. Disgusting!

The door of the shack closes softly and to our shock, a very angry looking Katniss Everdeen stomps in the direction of the sad excuse for a bush we’re hiding in.

“Hmm… guys… I think she sees us.” I mumble calmly, yet terrified. Katniss Everdeen, eldest daughter of Sorrel and Lily, is coming our way with fire in her eyes.

TBC on AO3…

[ariainstars]

TRoS Speculation: Maybe It Was Intentional…

All right, since the subject obviously doesn’t let me go, new speculation on my side. WARNING: this is a longer post.

 Ever since the 80es, Star Wars has become a universal phenomenon with millions of fans all over the world. And while fans often agree, they more often than not disagree about the characters, the themes, the different turn of events etc. Star Wars touches very many different kinds of people deep down due to the emotions it provokes. Many of us have grown up with the saga, some with one trilogy, others with another. Others have read the EU novels or watched the TV shows first. The saga’s themes are so many that they appeal to all kinds of people, and the approaches are varying. There are very many topics on which we will never make everybody agree. Being the foundation for many fan’s view of the world, the root to a lot of their ideals, the source of many a dream, the saga has become a hugely personal matter. No wonder viewers all over the world can quarrel about it so venomously and get downright aggressive if you only introduce a new line of thoughts. Many fans feel that the saga belongs to them and not to the man who created it and the creative studios who are now employing it to develop new stories.

We have made our mistakes in our fandom, too, in the years since The Force Awakens came out. We were so excited in what we believed was investing into a redemption arc, love story and happy ending, connecting all kinds of dots throughout the saga and analyzing it from almost every angle. Some of us simply thought that who didn’t think like us was stupid. But many other fans believe that this saga is only about Good against Evil and not about human feelings. They keep seeing it as some superhero story, a comforting world where to retire when reality got too much, a place where bad things happen but then the hero eventually comes to take care of it. They stick to their conviction that the good guy (or the one you root for even if he’s a villain) is the one who’s the coolest. Many of them love the OT above all and plainly refuse to see anything positive about the PT or ST because they always expected to see the New Adventures of Han, Luke and Leia. Some of them have waited for literally decades for the OT’s continuation. We, who also love the other trilogies (or at least the sequels) were at times disrespectful and arrogant looking down on them and believing that they simply don’t know what the saga actually is about. And all of us need heroes. We apply our own problems, needs and expectations to them and wait for them to fix the problem as an example for us. That’s also why we expect them to get their happy ending.

I have seen videos and read articles about how highly divisive The Last Jedi was. Some fans (a few of them even with tears in their eyes) openly declared that the saga was ruined for them. Similarly to us, who identify with Ben Solo and / or Rey, they had often found courage in the examples set by their heroes and it was offensive and hurtful to them to see Luke Skywalker reduced to a hermit who drinks green milk, rejects the ways of the Jedi and was personally responsible for his nephew’s fall into his abuser’s clutches. They were entitled to their feelings of disappointment and inner numbness as we are now. I know of people who actually survived many ugly periods in their lives finding solace in the saga. Some in one part of it, some in another. And we all got duped and let down, each by one chapter of the sequel trilogy, like some naughty, sadistic kid was kicking apart our favorite doll house a few days before Christmas.

I assume now that The Last Jedi was an experiment to gauge the audience’s reaction. It touched many a sensitive issue. My personal approach is that in order to like it, you don’t only have to be a fan of the sequel trilogy and its characters in general, or a hopeless romantic who wanted to see Rey and Ben Solo’s love story. You have to accept in the first place what the prequel trilogy painstakingly tried to explain to us (though it wasn’t actually said but more shown): that the Jedi were no heroes but got destroyed by their own hubris, and that Anakin Skywalker was largely a victim and not someone who became a villain because he enjoyed being evil, like the typical Batman or Superman villains. The prequels are not a fairy tale like the original trilogy but a cautionary tale following the lines of “society creates its own monsters.” It was only logical to deduce that if the Jedi were so perfect and the Old Republic so idyllic as Obi-Wan described them to Luke when they first met on Tatooine, Vader’s rise and the creation of the Empire couldn’t have happened in the first place. This was never said as clearly and concisely as by Luke to Rey during their second lesson on Ahch-To:

“Now that they’re extinct, the Jedi are romanticized, deified. But strip away the myth and look at their deeds: the legacy of the Jedi is failure, hypocrisy, hubris. At the height of their power they allowed Darth Sidious to rise, create the Empire and wipe them out. It was a Jedi who was responsible for the training and creation of Darth Vader.”

This is the message of the prequels in a few sentences, and a pivotal change to the “superhero approach” to the Jedi which might qualified if you only watch the OT and never question its themes on a larger scale. If you accept the Jedi’s failure for a fact, all of the rest falls into place - Vader being but a broken, sad old guy, Luke’s disillusion, his decision to give up the ways of the Jedi, his first lesson teaching Rey that the Force is not some kind of superpower, his forgiveness towards his nephew, the glimpses of goodness we saw foreshadowing Ben Solo’s redemption. The prequels also make much more sense this way than watching them expecting to see the Jedi being super-cool heroes and Anakin becoming Vader because he thought it might be fun.

But many fans chose not to see or accept what The Last Jedi actually was trying to say: that things couldn’t continue the way they did, because the Old Republic and the Jedi (though they didn’t actually have bad intentions) were deeply flawed. Leia tried to build another republic without any major changes that we are aware of, and Luke wanted to rebuild the Jedi Order without effectuating the considerable changes their Code would have needed. Both failed. It was e.g. never explained why Luke spirited his students away to a lonely planet for their training, but the fact that they were taken from their families when they were too small to make a choice and stick to it - Ben e.g. wanted to be a pilot like his father and not a Jedi - already shows the same pattern. Luke had not learned from the faults of his teachers until his exile. Logically, Episode IX ought to have continued these themes and showed the ST protagonist finding a new and better approach to the Force. Instead, what we got was another (in my opinion: redundant) Ultimate Battle of Good Against Evil, in other words some kind of superhero film which largely ignores the themes of its predecessor.

Any fan is entitled to his opinion. If someone hates the PT because it shows a stagnant society and the Jedi as highly flawed, because they didn’t get to see Darth Vader becoming over-the-top cool but were confronted, in Anakin, with a deeply compassionate person crushed by expectations he never could meet in the first place, if they judged him a whiny brat instead of an intelligent guy who clearly saw through the flaws of the society he was forced to live in and simply didn’t find the right words to express it: they’re entitled to it. Same goes for not feeling the tension between Rey and Kylo in the ST, for judging Kylo quickly (again) as a whiny brat instead of a complex, tormented character, for not appreciating new characters like Rose on account of not being Star-Wars-y enough. These feelings mostly stem from the fans’ long-standing wish to see an actual continuation of the original trilogy, not a new instalment where a new generation takes over and the old heroes are relegated to the background and, additionally, their characters and past decisions are openly criticized.

We may claim that fanbros are simply too stupid to understand what the saga is actually about. Well, maybe they are, or they are just too lazy to look at the bigger picture. But they have a right to that.  Of course, it doesn’t entitle them to harass the studios, directors, creative team or actors the way they were, mind you: what e.g. Kelly Marie Tran, Ahmed Best and Jake Lloyd had to endure was a disgrace. There are very many fans who disagree with the PT and ST without getting bitter or even vicious.

This doesn’t mean I have changed my mind. I still believe that the Jedi were everything but heroes, that Darth Vader is a tragic figure, that the main themes of the saga are family, hope and new beginnings and not “the coolest ones win, ka-boom, the end”; that what it means to say is that human feelings are in the end more important than power, even an enormous power like the one the Force can provide.

We who are angry and disappointed with TRoS now like to blame how it went that way due to the influence of angry white dudebros, misogyny, Calvinism, racism, the overall political situation, the Mouse only wanting to make money etc.

But we ought to consider that The Last Jedi, which was so deeply controversial, hit theatres only two years ago. Have mentalities, politics and social structures and Disney’s overall approached changed so considerably, in so short a time, to produce two so radically different approaches to the saga within the scope of two years?

Sorry, I can’t believe it. it doesn’t really make sense.

The Mandalorian is met with universal acclaim, no doubt partly due to the fact that it’s a standalone story without the huge dynastic weight the saga has on its shoulders. Being a TV show, it had more time to introduce characters and situations and develop them. And it worked out fine. It had all the Star Wars themes - a lot of action scenes, sure, but it was also about belonging, family, redemption, protectiveness, friendship. Meaning that the studios didn’t lose track or are too dumb to think up a good story.

The Rise of Skywalker seems to bring the saga to a closure, but it could also be a wholly new beginning; the beginning of what I was foreseeing and still believe was in the cards - a new galaxy with a new and better political order kept together by a common belief in the Force as a whole; a new Jedi order where Force-sensitive children are not torn away from their families but can choose whether they want to become Jedi or not; and where Jedi are not taught emotional detachment. This would mean balance at last, a balance from which everyone would benefit. I have no idea how Ben Solo could be revived but I still am certain that he would be an excellent father figure, the perfect foil to his grandfather; and that the best thing for Rey would be to take care of children who are lost and abandoned the way she once was. And with Rey being a Palpatine, there is an interesting ground from which to explore her character’s tendency to the Dark, mirroring Ben’s. The basic approaches for this kind of development were all there in The Last Jedi. But a project like that would be something completely different from the original saga, and it would take a lot of time. Maybe that’s why the studios dropped it in favor of appeasing the angry fanbros who didn’t receive The Last Jedi well at all.

Anyone has the right to think that the original trilogy is the one and only and that the rest is rubbish. But the heroes of that story had their friendship, their family, their adventures, their successes, their happy ending. Even the heroes of the prequel trilogy had their moments, including Anakin Skywalker. Our heroes didn’t. That’s why this ending is so bitter for us and so hard to stomach. Essentially, we were right - we knew that Ben and Rey belong together, that Ben would redeem himself and make peace with his family, that balance would come. What we didn’t get was our happy ending.

The Force Awakens was still more or less accepted, because despite the many new themes and choices it wasn’t subversive and controversial in its approach. The actual wasps’ nest was stirred with The Last Jedi. No argumentation could convince antis that it is actually a well-made film and that their personal approach on the saga is too narrow-minded to appreciate it. They wanted the same villains, the same settings and costumes, the same heroes (or at least rehashes). And they had a right to want that, exactly as we had the right to expect a better development and ending for our new heroes. The hardcore OT fans wanted and expected The New Adventures of Han, Luke and Leia kicking ass. Well, it seems The Rise of Skywalker took care of that, finally giving them what they wanted and ignoring or “correcting” the course of events from The Last Jedi.

So, that’s it now. The OT fanbros got “their” Star Wars. I hope they’re finally appeased. They can ignore anything that happens next. That the saga is finished does not mean that the Star Wars universe came to a standstill.

If fans of the original trilogy felt entitled to ask for The Last Jedi to be removed from canon, or at least to be “fixed” in some way, so can we. In case you didn’t see it yet, the petition is already there: https://www.change.org/p/lucasfilm-continue-ben-solo-s-story

Let’s tell the studios to keep TRoS the way they prefer, but that we wish to have our Star Wars now. Let us not steep down to the level of who made the lives of actors who played characters they disapproved of a living hell (see above) or say over and over “Star Wars is dead” when we don’t know what’s in store for the future. With the Star Wars universe, you always have to be patient. In the meantime, we can write and read fanfiction and other stories and purse our own lives, telling our own happy endings.

Happy New Year everyone. Feel free to reblog. 😊

  P.P.S. On a side note: Rey’s last scene shows her where Luke used to be, on Tatooine watching the suns set. The twin suns. In A New Hope, this was shortly before he met the other half of his soul who had been separated from him right after birth - his twin sister. Considering that it was explicitly said that Rey and Ben Solo share the same soul, it might be a hint about the future. I’m not trying to make false promises or to fuel wrong expectations here. Just sayin’. 😉

[elizabeatrice]

Sumire: In Summary (Chapter 66)

Let’s Talk About JSHK Manga #2

Warning: !!!Manga spoilers up to chapter 66!!! Duh.

These are my initial thoughts. I’m warning you, they may not be entirely coherent. I wrote this when Eng scanlations weren’t out yet, so I used @etoile_atelier’s Eng summary that they posted on their Insta Story. I’ll update with the scanlations later.

Sorry not sorry for the awful title I’m just punny like that okay.

Summary: Chapter commentary + theories on: Sumire’s relations to Aoi, Sumire and Tsukasa’s seals, and is Sumire and Shinigami a cautionary tale for Hanako and Nene?

First, chapter recap.

Having no expectations at all amplified my emotional reactions to this chapter like 1000%

THE COLORED PAGE. REALLY? REALLY. ANOTHER SUPERNATURAL/HUMAN PAIR?

IT ONLY TOOK FOUR PANELS. FOUR (4)! (Oh, the number of death ... makes sense)

I can’t. I can’t deal. I’m not supposed to sympathize with Goat Man yet.

I mean we’re only four panels into his story smh

Okay so we’re back with Hanako and Nene! And they’re ... somewhere.

And they came across villagers who call them monsters (mononokes)

Honestly why are people so rude to my boy he’s a kiddo trying his best mkay and now ya’ll’re capturing him, the nerve! Y’all captured my daughter in law as well, who’s a literal angel! I will call your mothers about this unacceptable behavior, random villagers.

*ding* [A wild new character appears!]

Ghost girl finally reappears! And yet again, I must ask,

“What is your deal, bruh?”

Sumire took them in, treating them like miserable strays in desperate need of help

And Sumire said something along the lines of taking in the mononokes like she always does

Lmao when these two dumbasses tryna escape

At the very least, Hanako and Nene are trapped somewhere comfortable. And without creepy bugs.

Sumire is so much like Aoi I-???

‘Kay they must be related somehow, right? (More on that later below)

So ... is it official? Are we serving tanuki nabe in hananene events now?

Hanako is even more careful than usual and I gotta say, I’m following his footsteps.

Before I got my stylus out and started translating stuffs, I was so worried when I saw the panels focused on Hakujoudai.

I care about Hakujoudai more than I thought, guys. What a revelation.

Domestic hananene, finally some good freaking food tea.

Darn Hanako spilled the tea (literally, and figuratively)

So they’re not in the Far Shore ... I feel like I was lied to. Why would you lie to your own minions (and us), Shinigami?!

Unless them landing wherever this is wasn’t intentional.

Man, I was excited to see the Far Shore too.

Hanako said they’re still in Shinigami’s boundary, and the place is water-less because they’re in some sort of made up world inside his boundary (that may or may not be based on his memories)

I think it actually is based on his memories, because the first page’s introductory sentence included something along the lines of, “Seven Mysteries’ No. 6′s memories”

So yeah it’s like a mini theater, presumably made by Shinigami so that his boss and his boss’ kannagi couldn’t interfere with his plans. Maybe.

I know the tea might be drugged by Sumire/Shinigami or whatever but-

Your wife helped make that tea, Yugi Amane, show some appreciation!

She looked sad about the tea, too, oh you precious child

Hanako’s sulky, distrustful face tho lmao

Boy was all serious like, “I’ll protect this girl with my afterlife”

Then ZAP *obligatory “Hanako you pervert” comment*

Hanako: Go in there save Yashiro go in there save Yashiro and maybe take a lil peek-

Also Hanako: She’ll hate me.

Hanako: Fuck.

Sumire: Aren’t you two lovers?

Nene: NO.

Sumire:

Nene: ////// D-do we actually look like lovers?

Sumire:

Sumire: Gurl-

*TV beep*

AidaIro: Imma just drop the bomb of the month here~

Sumire: I’m (probably) a yorishiro!

*roll credits*

*cue me screaming*

Sumire? Aoi?

Option A

Aoi and Sumire come from the same bloodline, Sumire’s her ancestor.

Option B

Aoi is Sumire’s reincarnation. So, that means the Sumire we’re seeing isn’t the real Sumire, regardless whether she was made especially for this ‘made up lil’ world inside the boundary’ or the real yorishiro.

Though, would Shinigami actually put his yorishiro somewhere Hanako and Nene could find and destroy her so easily? Suspicious.

So yeah this Sumire, if she really is the real yorishiro, must be a memory apparition like Mitsuba 2.0

White on Black, Red on Black

Now the moment this girl revealed her seal I knew the fandom would point a finger and unanimously scream, Tsukasa!

But ... then again, there’s the matter of different colors between Tsukasa’s seal and the yorishiro seals we’ve seen so far

What if object-yorishiro and person-yorishiro seals have different colors?

Like, white on black seals for object-yorishiro, and red on black seals for person-yorishiro

We actually need to see Sumire’s seal in color to confirm this tho

Sumire, Shinigami, and the Repeating Motive of Tragic Human-Supernatural Relationships in JSHK

Boi. You knew from the first four panels alone that something went wrong with Sumire and Shinigami.

“Promise you’ll stay with me forever.”

Bruh. I can not.

I mean I’m already imagining stuffs that are probably not how their real story’s gonna go down but

It’s definitely tragic, you can smell it. I’ll be entirely shocked if it ain’t tragic

Shinigami’s her betrothed, right?

Why are they only getting married now tho? I assume these two first met ages ago.

Could it be that human Sumire died before they could?

If so ... what if they’re trying to fulfill their wish that never got to happen when Sumire was alive?

What if these two are a cautionary tale for Hanako and Nene?

This might be too far fetched but think about it.

Sumire said, “Falling for things that don’t exist in our world may be deemed a taboo, but you can’t help it if you’re attracted to them,” and it’s the same for Sumire.

According to her, Shinigami is a straitlaced but cute demon. He used to kill for fun (and out of boredom, ‘cause the dude is immortal) but he’s quick to get shy, too.

So. You’ve got a kannagi who’s all too kind to ‘monsters’ (taking in the mononokes, remember?) and try her best to help them.

And a monster with dangerous powers who also have a shy side and would do anything to do what they deem right.

Sounds familiar?

Let’s admit it. The only problem Nene has with liking Hanako is the fact that he’s not her type.

Him being dead has never been the main problem.

In fact, when she does acknowledge his death, it was out of sympathy. She wished he could’ve lived happier. But since he didn’t she sets out to make his afterlife happy, you know, as a good friend.

So I imagine if she does, in fact, accept that she really does like him like that, she’ll be a lot like Sumire, don’t you think?

Nene’s thing is that she’s got compassion for everyone, whether they’re supernaturals or not (unless they mock her legs I guess hahahaha).

She won over Yako (who still hasn’t admitted it), Tsuchigomori, and Shijima with her earnest heart.

On the other hand, Hanako was willing to defy his own principles, his hatred toward the fakeness of Shijima’s world, and perhaps supernatural law or whatever (’cause I doubt it’s ‘legal’ to keep the students trapped in a painting) just because Nene could live happily there.

As we (slowly) uncover Shinigami’s story, Nene also seems to be constantly confronted by others regarding her own feelings. Akane, Aoi, now Sumire.

Also:

“Promise you’ll stay with me forever?”

“Stay by my side until then, okay?”

BAM!

I just broke your hearts. Maybe. Maybe not.

Now Imma go cry.

[bestworstcase]

bro can you just do like the entire ever on meme, I could read your headcanons and commentary all day (but for real, your takes are super interesting!)

a n o n. bsdhfsdh

How many kids do you want Rapunzel and Eugene to have?

in all honesty i Literally could not care less. maybe twins as a nod to the original fairytale, but like, a good ten years into the future. rapunzel deserves a nice long stint of just Living Her Best Life before she even thinks about having kids

Where do you want or see Cass going?

answered here. also, self indulgently, in my head at some point she ends up in antares, which is a city-state near the dark kingdom which i developed for bitter snow. it’s big and old and crowded and given that it’s built on top of a bunch of huge black rocks we’re going to just... ignore what happened to the black rocks in canon when the sundrop and moonstone fused, k?

What are some of Queen Rapunzel’s new policies?

blah! i like to think she would also institute widespread public schooling, because she’s so curious and so many of her skills are self taught out of passion and personal interest and i think she would want to inculcate those values in the children of her subjects. coronan literacy skyrockets under her reign

What will Varian think of next?

i think it’s sort of funny to take varian at his word when he calls himself an alchemist and assume he is, in fact, in a perpetual state of trying to make a philosopher’s stone. 

How many partners will Cass have, if any at all?

i mean look at her she could have her pick of any gay woman on the continent. um. in bitter snow she dates or has flings with 2... people, maybe 3 depending on how exactly we define “dates.”

What will Captain do now?

he will grow an ever more glorious beard. also this.

How will Hector, Adira, and Edmund live in the Dark Kingdom again?

they’re going to have a very welcoming immigration policy otherwise dark kingdom 2: electric boogaloo is not going to last for very long, now is it.

i think adira will spend a lot of time being the voice of reason considering that edmund lived in total isolation for twenty-five years and went a bit funny while hector lived in total isolation for twenty-five years and turned into a feral tree man and then got possessed. i also think the dark kingdom will be instrumental in the development of fantasy-telegraphs, because they do after all have a pretty pressing reason to do so

How are Stalyan and Brock doing?

stalyan met brock in, like, a dive bar somewhere and went oh my god you have to come to corona with me and pretend to be my date it’ll be so fucking funny so that’s what they did. anyway caine happened to be out on parole at the time and they bumped into each other and stalyan was like 👀 and caine was like 👀 and they’re pirate queens now. stalyan and brock are still bros.

How are the Stabbingtons doing?

they’re like three months away from getting out for good behavior. eugene is so proud.

How many times will Andrew keep trying to escape?

He Will Never Stop

How will Vex and Quaid rebuild Vardaros?

i mean we’re all basically agreed that quaid is an expy of sam vimes, right? right? which is to say they’re going to drag vardaros kicking and screaming out of the hole its in through sheer raw stubbornness and innate sense of justice and fair play. also at some point quaid is going to arrest a dragon, probably

How will the Baron react to Stalyan dating Brock?

you think stalyan is still in contact with her shitty dad? HA! it is to laugh

How are Hookfoot and Seraphina doing?

seraphina did several months of community service due to her sentence being considerably lightened after her willing return of the stolen pearl and she has since gotten her life in order and is doing a tour of the coastline with hookfoot while she tries to figure out what she wants to do with her life instead. possibly she will become a singer, since she is, as you’ll recall, immensely talented in this department.

How will the Pub Thugs react to reuniting with the Hook Brothers again?

all i know is big nose is going to ask seraphina if she has any mermaid friends she could set him up with and she is going to give him the most withering look on the planet and he’s going to write bad, sad poetry about it for at least a week. also there will be a dance party

Will Varian talk to Quirin about his mother?

my headcanon is that varian is old enough to remember his mother, and that she died when he was perhaps eight or nine. i think after the series quirin would understand that shutting down and refusing to talk about things with varian doesn’t help either of them so they will be able to have normal conversations about her sometimes.

Will Varian have his own adventure?

in all honesty i don’t think about post-series varian all that much outside of the canonical royal engineer thing so instead i’m going to talk about bitter snow varian and say that: yes, he gets a hell of a lot more adventure than he ever bargained for. 

Does Varian have a room in the Castle now? Or does he stay in Old Corona?

i mean he’s like sixteen i assume he’s still living with his dad for at least a couple more years. he’s more urban than quirin is so when he comes of age i think he’ll eventually get himself a nice little flat in corona somewhere. 

Will Faith stay as Rapunzel’s lady-in-waiting? If so, will they be close friends?

i think in once a handmaiden faith booked herself passage on the next carriage to koto and is living her best life there. it’s what she deserves

Will Nigel ever reunite with a dragon again?

[gets on my soapbox] nigel’s story is a cautionary tale about the perils of taking wild animals out of the wild and attempting to keep them as pets and having seen firsthand the dangers of doing so nigel is never going to make the same mistake again. however, he learns to appreciate them as they are, in their natural habitat, living as they please, and will one day found a dragonspotting club. [/gets off my soapbox]

Will Eugene ever talk to Edmund about his mother?

yes and edmund will tell eugene like nine million stories about her and show him the letters she wrote for their son on her deathbed and eugene will realize that he actually has more in common, personality-wise, with his mom than his dad and will end up feeling very close to her even though he never got the chance to know her. 

Is Lance still smitten over Adira?

nah not really, though he still admires her very much and i think they end up having a decent friendship. they’re foodie buddies and whenever she passes through corona she teaches the girls survival skills or practices fighting techniques with them.

Did Max and Pascal rescue the wedding cake?

probably

Will Varian and Cassandra keep in touch?

i think she’ll keep in touch with him as much as she keeps in touch with any of team corona, really. they’re friends but not especially close, yknow?

Who will Cass run into on her adventures?

like i said in one of the other asks i think she passes through ingvarr at some point and maybe bumps into the princesses there. i definitely think she encounters caine and stalyan at least a couple times in contexts that range from adversarial to reluctant allies. the idea of her passing through vardaros and helping quaid and vex out with some mystery is kind of fun. 

Will Cass become a famous adventurer or live elusively?

cass is going to fall into the sam vimes camp of her reputation preceding her completely by accident

Who will be at Rapunzel and Eugene’s child(ren)’s christening(s)?

i assume, like, all the important people. fred and arianna and edmund, lance, varian, cass if she’s around. plus they’re royalty so like, a lot of noble types and diplomats and whatnot. 

What will Rapunzel and Eugene name their children?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Who from their adventures will Rapunzel and Eugene visit? The Lorbs? Calliope? King Trevor? Vex and Quaid?

i think there will be occasional trips to the dark kingdom via hot air balloon and they’ll probably check in on vardaros from time to time. can’t see them visiting calliope unless they absolutely have to. diplomatic visits with equis are... probably unavoidable, but filled with Regret. i think the lorbs would probably be happier if the crazy fleinfloofers didn’t keep coming back to the island to trigger horb the lorb’s various failed magical cures for depression, all things considered.

Will Rapunzel make amends with Lady Caine? Will she pardon her father and let him reunite with Lady Caine?

i think caine’s dad is dead. and i think rapunzel would try to make amends, but caine is in the category of... things can’t always be made better? her father was taken from her in a horribly traumatizing way and then in all likelihood either executed (remember that corona canonically hangs thieves) or died on a prison barge years ago, and there’s nothing rapunzel can realistically do to make that better. sometimes an apology isn’t enough, you know? i think she could provide caine with some closure by helping her find out exactly what happened to him, but caine would never harbor any positive feelings for corona or for rapunzel.

Will Cassandra settle in Corona, abroad, or remain indefinitely itinerant?

i think she’ll eventually settle down but i also see her as developing a real love for travel and continuing to do it frequently even after she finds her home base, so to speak. i also tend to lean on the side of she comes back to corona to visit but doesn’t have enough positive connections to the place to ever feel completely at home there. 

Will Madame Canardist ever learn of Vigor’s origins?

madame canardist is a racist romani caricature and i don’t like thinking about her if i can possibly help it. it leaves a very bad taste in my mouth.

Will Varian rebuild any of Demanitus’ work?

dunno, maybe? varian is a demanitus fanboy for sure and if he encountered a demanitus blueprint for a machine that he could put to good use i think he’d absolutely build it at the first opportunity. i can see him rebuilding the weather device just in case zhan tiri’s blizzard were to reoccur, for example. but also, a lot of demanitus’s inventions were pretty dangerous (see: the portal to the lost realm, the body-switching ray) and varian as of season three has learned his lesson about doing Reckless Science so i think he would approach with a certain amount of caution.

Will Cass be nervous when meeting her New Dream nieces and nephews?

...a bit? maybe? i guess? prior to this i spent literally 0 braincells thinking about new dream children so i dunno. i’m not a kid person and i rarely if ever speculate about non-canonical children of fictional couples. she’d be the fun adventuring family friend i suppose.

[breezy-cheezy]

Mmmmmkay I have to rant about Nier: Automata for a bit; I accidentally triggered the end of the game (playthrough 2, ending B) last night and stayed up till 2:00 trying to finish the stupid “not allowed to save” phase. But y’aLL IT’S SO GOOD??????? AND 3RD PLAYTHROUGH ISN’T ANOTHER RE-RUN OF THE SAME STORY WE GET MORE STORY AAAAAAAAA

(more under the cut because there is ALOT for those who care;;;;;)

- OK SO THE MUSIC IS AMAZING??? I love LOVE that the music dynamics build in instruments and intensity as you progress towards danger/plot, but also softens again for quieter moments and just...musical storytelling is so sooooo my jam I love it. Also that the music goes 8 bit when 9S hacks stuff, it’s actually kinda cute X’D

- ON THE SUBJECT of 9S being able to hack into enemies and you getting to play that as a little teeny ship shooting down viruses and barriers and whatnot. Genius???? That added SO MUCG to the story on the second playthrough as 9S. Particularly discovering the fact that all of humanity?? Is actually extinct?? ...even BEFORE the aliens/machines attacked earth?? WH A T?????? WHAT THE HECK ARE ANDROIDS FIGHTING FOR THEN????? *every time an android salutes and says “glory to mankind” now* GLORY MY FOOT THEY ALL DEAD MOVE ON--

-  I realize it probably has alot to do with the lore of previous nier games and I’ll probably have to trawl through Wiki pages soon here. Emil himself really broke my heart aaaaaah baby...his side quest is so sad. I also looked at arts and he was a really cute kid?? Before he was turned int the freaky moon skeleton thing...?? Oh my goodness......

-  The secret lunar tear flower room is gorgeous. I just sat there for awhile to soak it all in...the music is so nostalgic and I’ve never heard that song bfore how do y’all DO THAT--

- Emil’s shop is pretty cute. He just drives around the ruins and sells stuff if you shoot him and he’ll stop X’’’D It did ruin alot of serious moments tho. *Engels, talking about how he’d sinned for killing so many androids and choosing death--* “S-A-L-E SAAAALLLEEE~~!! EVERY SALE’S A WIIIINNNNNN~~~~!!!! LALALaaaaaa~~~...” Me: *facepalm* 

- ...I just realized the little tune he sings is a cheerful rendition of the music in the flower room. H E C K

- ANYWAY. Onto the actual game. I really really enjoyed playing as 9S for obvious reasons (bABY) but it really did add so soooo much to the pretty much surface level story when you first play as 2B. Which sums them up pretty well...2B, Battle unit 2, pushes on relentlessly, avoids thinking too hard about things and what she’s doing because oh dear, EMOTION might get in the way...9S, Scanner unit 9, on the other hand, cannot stop his curiosity. He asks questions, he sticks his nose in way further than he should to some dangerous stuff. I think he realized Machines were sentient and had feelings long before 2B, but was in denial for a good while. You learn so much more about what you’re fighting as 9S, because he scans. He observes, searches, discovers. Heck, some hacking caused him to experience empathy for the poor things, to his horror...

- Actually, there are alot of scenes where either 2B or 9S questions why a machine they’re killing is screaming for help, of crying for lost family, or loudly proclaiming loyalty to a king they’ll give their lives for...they stop for a moment, but the other quickly jumps in and reminds them that it’s just imitation. It’s not real, it’s fake, machines can’t feel, yadda yadda...it was odd to me they kept switching off on reminding, but...I think they both know, deep down, what they’re doing. But denial. Because if machines DO have feelings, if they are sentient...what does that mean for all they’ve killed...? Just...hoo BOY the moral dellimas in this game?? Scary good. The quests get that across alot.

- I don’t like the theme of hopelessness in most of the side quests?? I do see many of them as cautionary tales though. We watch many characters lose hope and the will to live after their thing/person they’re living FOR is gone. It makes me worry alot about 2B, who is a soldier through and through. 9S actually does have hopes and dreams for things outside of the war, which I love ;7; they definitely lean on each other alot emotionally on this respect though...I don’t know quite what to make of the themes of the game this far in yet;;;; 

- The love between 9S and 2B is of course my favorite thing. Familial, romantic, idk. I, being me, see it as more platonic, “You’re my rock in this storm” only friend/sister/brother vibe, but as more of a fan of platonic relationships, that is what I tend to do. But 9s following 2B around like a lost puppy and trying to do all he can to help and do his job but also getting bored with said job and trying to make the most of things, asking all the “why” questions, 2B acting irritated but also always keeps him close and makes sure he’s safe....going ballistic when someone hurts her boy ;;v;; I love...2 kids. Their operators and pods are such fun dynamics too~~ 

- As far as endings A and B...DANG. It hit worse because you get backstory on the giant ocean machine (that 9S just hit with a giant missle, which he also had to ride to keep it on the right path...DX NO SELF PRESERVATION) he just...wanted his mama......;;A;;

- Also it’s not fair. 9S is so injured by that missle attack, then I guess Adam finds him and is like “HM. *sticks the lil boy impaled on a wall* Perfect. *proceeds to emotionally and mentally torture said child*“ like YO ADAM THAT’S NOT HOW YOU DO THINGS. Then 2B proceeds to kick down walls for her boy and kills Adam and walks off carrying 9S bridal style into the sunset. Lovely. I have a comic idea for this part, lol.

- Oh I don’t like Adan very much, he is pretty tho?? There was alot of blood though...how do machines bleed?? How do the androids bleed?? What??? I question this alot. 

- HHHHHHH THE BECOME AS GODS CHAPTER SCARED ME I DON’T EVER WANNA DO THAT AGAIN DANG SUICIDAL ROBOTS SCARED ME SO BAD

- Fighting Eve was...annoying but still heartbreaking. He misses his brother so much....even though Adam is a butthead and couldn’t care less he left his little brother behind DX just everything about that fight was Tragic. Also Eve developing more self awareness and realizing “Eve” is a girl’s name and being a bit miffed LOL that’s what y’all get when your first book is the bible kiddos...I realize they’re technically like what? 2 weeks old still???

- The ENDING. From 9S’s perspective is especially scary....the corruption transforming him, 2B coming in to kill him to stop the pain, he BEGGED her to, just....hhhhhhh babies ;;A;; 2B’s soft broken crying over him as she’s forced to strangle her only friend to death just aaaaaAAAAAAAA I DIE ;;;;;;;;~;;;;;;;;;

- I was actually able to cry over it this time coz. It was 2 am. No parent awkwardly watching over my shoulder. Because the pose for this scene is...........super awkward..........like......really........their clothes are super torn up and uh. The first time I was just hoping my parents wouldn’t mistake it for a sex scene or something hhhhhghhhhh;;;;;; I really really REALLY wish the pose was different, the game does need to give the fanservice a rest, at LEAST for a scene this serious DX I’m able to ignore it but when someone else is watching I don’t wanna have to explain;;;;

- That IS a big gripe I have with the game. The fanservice. Just. Why. How is 2B’s outfit practical?? Self destruct mode???? REALLY???? Get this girl battle shorts or something please.....I guess if I looked at it more as a ballet outfit?? I might make some edits when I draw her because GEEZ.

- 9S gets some of this too. Self destruct mode, his shorts are blown off???? WHAT THE HECK???? Welp, never using that again. also why is he the only yorha boy android??????????? X’’’’D They never explain that!!

- BACK TO ENDING STUFF why were there random data hologram girls standing there, watching 2B strangle 9S?? Just...silently there...they weren’t there in the first playthrough?? I’ve seen them a couple times but they’re NEVER mentioned?? WHAT ARE THEY-- is it a glitch?? Wha--

- Teeny 9S being able to dump his consciousness into a giant machine robot guy and cradling 2B in his hand ;;~;; he’s fine y’all I’m so GLAD (I wanna draw something for this scene.... I wanna draw alot of things) 

- I love Pascal. He should adopt all the sad people to his happy peace village. He already started that...what a good egg. 

- The accessories option is lovely. I’ve been running around with 9S with a blue bow in his hair forever now ;7; replaced with the flower in his hair because BOYS AND FLOWERS I LOVE but I think I might give the flower to 2B because she’d look lovely with it and....I miss the blue bow X’D

 - Also the AMOUNT of things this could line up with a KH universe....as far as how androids work, hearts (black boxes), memories making you...you, being able to transfer “hearts” to new bodies when the old is destroyed, POWER OF LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP...there’s alot. I dunno what to do with this info...

Anyway, I have alOT of thoughts and feelings on this game, it’s like...a very cool book. I’ve had trouble putting down. These aren’t even all of them but idk who I can actually rant to so here it is for the Void

I’m so interested to see where it goes! 

[metaandpotatoes]

Some old school Kingdom Hearts fic recs

Once upon a time, I think most of the fics on here would have been the usual suspects for a KH fic rec list. Time to resurrect them and make sure everyone gets their eyeballs on these beautifully crafted stories. I like these fics because they challenge you, they take risks, and you can see through the writing that the authors were also out to challenge themselves.

Note: Most of these don’t appear on @rabidbehemoth​‘s excellent old school KH fic rec list. Also, there are tragically few Zemyx fics because apparently the ones I love best have all been removed.

Bonus: This definitely double as a slight history of my aesthetic development as a writer.

Deceitful Above All Things by Quillslinger

Pairing: Axel/Roxas

Rating: Mature (no smut, but some descriptions of sexual acts/porn)

Summary: A history of Axel and Roxas’ relationship (and its unraveling) as they move through the Organization. Written before Chain of Memories, 358/2 Days etc., but surprisingly prescient with regard to them.

Excerpt: He said, "Meanwhile, my name's Axel," and gave himself ten seconds before adding, "Got it memorized?"

In a surprise twist, Roxas managed neither to develop an allergic reaction to Axel's trademark icebreaker nor find it funnier than he should, which actually made Axel decide maybe he liked the taciturn shrimp. It led to his spending the rest of the morning—Afternoon? Evening? You could never tell in this seaside cosmic joke—asking probing, insightful questions—"But seriously, how do you get your hair to look like that?"—only to learn that everyone in the Organization had warned Roxas about him.

My commentary: Great characterization, slow build, beautiful evocation of ocean imagery. The dialogue is really out of this world, and shows that you can insert humor into writing even if its predominantly serious or sad. This fic also turned teen!me onto Pablo Neruda.

Meaning of Silence by The Writer Triumphant

Pairing: Axel/Roxas

Summary: AU; Axel finds love in a park, within a boy seven years his junior. Unfortunately, Roxas loves him back.

Rating: Mature

Excerpt: "Watch this."

I sit up, twist around, and watch as Roxas performs a simple skateboard trick. And then another. He's still wearing the band-aid, and I don't ask why. He offers half a smile and then walks off to join the retreating backs of his brother and the silver haired boy. I have to erase the image from my mind before I start driving.

He gets better at it, and eventually he's gliding along effortlessly. I don't want to watch him. I don't want to walk over to him when he's alone on the swing, have his hair brush my chin as I pull back on the chains to start the arch. But I do.

"You're not a grown-up."

I tell him I'm seventeen. He's ten.

My commentary: This. Story. Ruins me. Every. Fucking. Time. It’s a really moving and beautiful and bleak exploration of a topic that still riles people up in fandom: Age differences in pairings. Which is to say, it’s an extended literary meditation on accusations of pedophilia for certain pairings in fandom. It is not crass or crude or fetishizing; it is compassionate, it is complicated, it is seeking to understand.

This fic should make you uncomfortable; it should make you stop and think. Reading does not have to be pleasurable or fluffy or politically correct (I would argue it should rarely ever be that last one), not even in fanfiction.

This is also one of the only first-person fics I’ve ever liked. It heightens the reader’s complicated relationship to the story’s subject matter; it implicates us. It cements Axel as sympathetic.

The second part is dramatic as fuck and I don’t know if I agree that it should have ended the way it does. I also lose track of wtf is happening at one part through it. But once again, that is the pleasure and challenge of reading interesting work.

(Also, I don’t really know why the author chose to structure it like a play, e.g., in acts, etc.)

(Two more recs under the cut)

A Cautionary Tale by Quillslinger

Pairing: Axel/Roxas

Rating: Mature

Summary: Roxas-centric; focused on his feeling pulled away from the Organization toward Sora.

Excerpt: The slice of light is narrow but has a certain buoyant quality that fills up the entire room with a dusty glow, and all of a sudden Roxas entertains the absurd thought that perhaps this light has the ability to permeate skin and flesh, sinking under and shining out from beneath surface membranes, glowing red with the color of living blood. In this moment, he and Axel seem like diaphanous creatures, two members of a light-consuming, translucent-skinned breed glutted on radiance, veins pumped full of light, to the point they're so bloated on the stuff you could scoop halos from their cracked-open ribs.

My commentary: While some of the verb tensing can get confusing at the beginning, there are just really beautiful and visceral descriptions of light throughout this entire piece. And some surprising, satisfying word combinations. It also has a Riku-as-prophet-spouting-nonsese element that elevates it into the surreal; really fascinating and daring stretch of canon.

Shout! by Dualism

Pairing: Zexion/Demyx (Zemyx)

Rating: Mature

Summary: AU; The worst thing about living in an apartment, Zexion decided, were the neighbors. And the fact that his were apparently nymphomaniacs. And by the way: falling in love with one of them? So not a good idea.

Excerpt: It wasn't that he hadn't accounted for the neighbors. Zexion had definitely accounted for the neighbors. Really. He'd spent a grand total of three seconds accounting for them. And then he'd realized that the neighbors didn't quite matter, anyway, because Zexion had little intention of ever associating with them. Zexion, to tell the truth, rarely had much of an inclination to associate with anybody. Which wasn't to that he was a recluse. He just had high standards.On the other side of the wall the bed started thumping. Zexion resisted the urge to cover his ears with a pillow. It was eight o'clock in the morning. Surely no one had sex-drives at eight o'clock in the morning.

My commentary: No one wrote Zexion (really Zemyx) like Dualism did. Dualism made him a true schemer, but not unlikable or sociopathic. Dualism also converted me from an irrational Larxene/Zexion shipper (long story) to a Zemyx shipper. And Dualism’s writing is hi-lar-i-ous.

Obligatory moment of silence that the best of Dualism’s Zemyx work seems to be lost to the bowels of the internet. (They purged their livejournal :( )

Brb, not completing this list because I’m sobbing.

[faithandfairies]

OUAT: Final Thoughts

I wasn’t going to write this because part of me doesn’t think this show deserves it. But...me watching this show has never been about the show itself. For me it’s always been about what I could glean from it. So I need to reflect. For me.

It’s been about a day since the OUAT series finale aired and I still don’t understand what the point was. I haven’t actually watched it and I honestly still don’t feel the need to, which I’m surprised by to be honest. The last episode I saw was 7x14 and I thought I’d want to finish the series but so far I haven’t had the urge.

But I’ve seen GIFs and reactions of the series finale and so from what I can understand Swan Queen wasn’t confirmed, well, at least not with a Textual True Love’s Kiss. (Neither was Captain Swan but that’s neither here nor there at this point. Given that a heterosexual couple is much easier to see and accept as real compared to a non-heterosexual one) A True Love’s Kiss seems to be the only way that it would have been accepted as existing by people who either don’t see it or choose not to.

The series (season 7) finale also seems to be the season 6 finale re-imagined. With the only difference seeming to be that this version looks prettier on the surface. Even though nothing’s really changed as far as I can tell. Which has always been my biggest problem with this show.

As far as I can tell Hook and Emma still haven’t worked out any of their issues. They haven’t really talked anything out. 

1. Last season there was one time that Emma confronted Hook about the fact that he lied which led to her giving him back his ring. Only for her to think he’d left her forever because of it. Which then led to her taking him back without them actually dealing with the problems they were having in the first place. Before she burst that one time, she just seemed indifferent to his negative actions.

2. Dark Hook was basically angry, abusive Hook in his prime. Which involved him throwing all of the hurtful comments at Emma he could muster. And Emma wasn’t much better. Which was yet another thing they’ve never talked out. 

3. It feels like they used a baby as a band-aid for their problems. (Which I guess makes naming it Hope poetic. And reminds me of the post I wrote after the OUAT season 6 finale on how the drawback of hope was left unaddressed.)

None of the above actually makes for a genuine, successful relationship in real life. 

Furthermore, I’m not entirely sure that Regina’s happy ending really was a happy ending. 

Regina never wanted to be Queen. She was forced into it. And yes, she’s been great at leading. But just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you love doing it. I think she originally just took back the Mayor job because Snow didn’t want it and she(Regina) was the only (other) person qualified to do it.

What she did want was love and freedom. The freedom to choose her own path and the love of the people. For the people to choose her and want her for her. And well I guess it does seem like she’s gotten that.

And yet...it bothers me. I mean, it feels like she got Elsa’s ending in Frozen. Which worked for me in Frozen because it was more about Elsa coming to love herself. But given who Regina is and how she’s struggled with loving herself  and how she’s always sought the approval of others-even though she does love herself now- the message feels like “You’re not worth loving unless you’re loved by everyone.” or something. Which is ludicrous because you can never make everyone love you. It’s impossible to please everyone. So on that level I’m not entirely okay with it. Of course, another way to look at it could also be “If you love and accept yourself for you, others will love and accept you too.”

But aside from that Regina also very clearly wanted love. A significant other. Which she doesn’t have. And yes, she has a son-two sons?- who love(s) her. And a best friend.

But her son will eventually leave for college and start his own life. And her friend has a husband and a new baby to tend to. People with families, especially babies, rarely have that much time for friends.

But a significant other is meant to be there with you when the kids go off to college and the friends are busy with their own lives. 

Of course, on a meta level if the fairy tale world represents Emma in a way, the people choosing Regina to become Queen of the realms could be symbolic of Emma choosing Regina.

Which could mean any number of things. Such as

A.Emma truly being in a coma still and Regina being her guardian whilst Emma accepts that and has reached a point where she would have chosen her as such because she trusts her with her life. 

B. Emma being in a coma and dying (in the season 6 finale?) after 6 seasons of Regina hoping for a second chance for her and Emma and telling Emma to beat this thing,  at which point the story becomes Regina reminiscing on her and Emma’s story. The series ending with Emma, Hook and the baby could then be a throwback to the last time Regina saw Emma when they were younger (Think Mulan and Aurora.) Regina becoming Queen of the realms could then just be about Regina finding peace in the world. Self-love, self-compassion, the unconditional love of her son. And restoring the healing, reflective properties of stories for her family after she and her son lost faith in happy endings/beginnings after Emma died. 

C. Emma being in a coma and waking up, possibly in 6x10, but since the story started in the Fairy Tale world with Snow under a sleeping curse, it’s possible they articulated Emma choosing Regina as a significant other as Regina being chosen as the Good Queen. Someone Emma wanted to be with. Since originally it would have been Emma then who named Regina the Evil Queen. Regina did say the people were the ones who added “Evil” to her name. Or rather title. Even though Rumple was the one who made her so. 

(Then the whole Swan Town discourse of season 4 also makes sense if Emma and Regina both represent the town/realms at different moments in the story.)

Of course, the Evil Queen’s first order of business on the show was breaking up “the happy couple” looking like sex on a stick. So does not breaking up “the happy couple” this time make her the Good Queen? Who knows. Not me. Nor do I think I really care.

Because to be honest, I’m tired of symbolism. I’m tired of the “maybe this means that or this means that”. I’m tired of LGBTQ+ stories being presented as something that needs to be hidden. To the point where their existence can be easily denied. I’m tired of LGBTQ+ stories being used for dramatic effect or as something to set a show apart for 5 minutes. I’m tired of our stories being sexualized and fetishized. I’m just...I’m just tired.

No wonder half the OUAT fandom thinks Swan Queen shippers are delusional.

Which leads me to the fact that I’m not even sure how I would have felt about Swan Queen happening. Validated, sure. Happy? I don’t know.

I mentioned this before in a post once but given the themes of this show and what I believe Regina did to Emma, I’m not sure I would even want them together. There are certain things that are hard to get past and sometimes downright  unforgivable. Where even if you do forgive a relationship with the person is no longer possible. Maybe because it goes against your principles. 

So I don’t pretend as if Regina wasn’t just as bad as Hook. Or close to. She was. Although everyone has a different opinion when it comes to this.The biggest or rather most obvious difference to me always seemed to be that Regina and Emma worked through their issues and grew together. That they seemed to communicate, talk things out and then forgive each other and do better. Which is what made me think they stood a chance as a couple. But that doesn’t negate the above.

Having said all that, having seen the season 6 finale, the first 14 episodes of season 7 and GIFs of the series finale, not to mention my unwillingness to look much past the surface story any longer, I’ve deduced that to me this story is a cautionary tale.

One about a girl who in order to please her parents decided to change who she was and marry a man she didn’t love and who in fact treated her like shit poorly. She then got pregnant and tried to use the baby as a way to make the marriage work.

So basically, the main lesson this show has taught me remains the same. DON’T. DO. THAT. It has shown me exactly who and where I don’t want to be in life. Don’t do things just to please others or to fit in in a certain structure. Don’t trap yourself in circumstances you don’t want to be in just because you think it’s the only way. There is always another. 

The other lesson this show has taught me is to never let any part of your happiness depend on another. Or rather be decided by another. You know you better than anyone. Only you know what makes you happy. 

Basically these two lessons really come down to one. You always have the freedom to choose. Free will. There’s always a choice. Make it yourself or someone else will do it for you. And you may not like the choice(s) they make.

For these lessons I am grateful.

But I’m still sad and worried for the young, impressionable teenagers who will think Hook is the model of a perfect boyfriend. And will go out to find themselves one of their own. Or who already have a Hook of their own and will try to make that relationship work in the same ways Emma has. Because “this is what Disney fairy tales are made of.” Lord help ‘em.

(x)

[offworldcolony]

Zack Snyder's Justice League, 2021 - ★★★

Daddy Issues: The Movie.

I'm conflicted about the existence of this film; as an exercise in studio interference it's fascinating, as a parable of what can happen when fans rise up, it's a cautionary tale, and as the shape of things to come, it's questionable. I don't think fans should get to decide anything; hiring the correct filmmakers and giving them creative freedom would be the ideal option because you give the people what they need and never what they want. What they want, as evidenced by everything, almost always sucks and they're left unhappy anyway. And this film might be the exception that proves the rule.

And although Zack Snyder's Justice League was a film worth creating from the butchered remains of the original incarnation, it shouldn't have come at the behest of how much vitriol was cast out there in the process, and it shouldn't be a signal that a rabid and butthurt community of internet trolls that believe they deserve whatever they want, exactly as they want it, should ever influence the film industry ever again.

This should instead be a reminder to Studios that they know about as much as Marketing departments or gamblers or stock market traders: they're just pissing in the wind and when it lands in the toilet they claim it's by some kind of design of their own making and brilliance. Hire somebody good and get the fuck out of their way. At least if it's shit (like this film basically is) it is the fault of one person's vision and I'd rather have a noble and coherent failure than a luke-warm, mediocre carcass of a Frankenstein's monster made up of opinionated Suits, en-vogue and focus group-driven decisions acting only as a commercial for toys like 2017's Justice League was.

So the film itself? It's incredibly enjoyable, I had an absolute blast with my family round watching it like an old-school movie night. Is it a better movie? Yes, 100% in practically every way. Is it a good movie? Nope! But it's one person's coherent vision, I just hate that vision and I don't think he pulls it off.

Snyder constantly undercuts his own good ideas by his own execution, stumbling into his own sandcastles; some sequences have some really fantastic starts and then they're shot and edited in a way that makes me crawl inside out with cringe; singing a Nordic-style Aquaman song: great, having someone really close up sniff his jumper and sing right at us: horrific. And there's legion of these terrible choices by Snyder, usually things that don't make logical sense but mean he can do something because it's simply cool. (Martha Manhunter anyone?) But we already know by now that cool on its own isn't enough. Snyder doesn't. Having Batman say "fuck" isn't cool, it's dumb. Having Superman say a cocky (rubbish) one-liner when he saves someone from Steppenwolf is out of character, it's dumb. More than once I was able to predict what a character was going to say before they even said it. Come on, this isn't Trey Parker and Matt Stone's Team Justice League.

On the undeniable positives are the colour grading, score, the reels of added and altered material and more. Most of the added scenes are way, way better, more coherent and the film looks great actually. It does look Olympian and classic as I imagine he wanted it to, like the cave murals Diana sees. The extra character and coherence allow the jokes and interactions to breathe; Wayne is a little funnier, Diana, sadder, Cyborg, actually here for a change with something to do, and seemingly powerful, and Flash (thank god) not annoying. Even Irons' Alfred gets basically the best material and comes out of it my favourite character. Truly the Alfred of the group.

What doesn't work with this is that there's so much slow-mo that it becomes laugh-out-loud funny and goofy rather than impressive and dynamic, and in a 4-hour long film, you'd better be damn sure that amount of slow-mo is necessary, even in the slow-mo shots you can palpably feel they drag on for a few seconds too long each time.

And my god let's talk about the soundtrack. So Snyder has now consistently proven himself to be awkwardly tone-deaf to good music in all of his films. He can't pick an appropriate track, he can't pick an ironic track. Every time he does one of his patented slow-mo, nothing sequences over a full track of music (it feels like) it's so awkward I almost got up and left my own fucking house. There's like five of these.

But the action here (apart from being blasted in the eyeballs by insane amounts of bright lights) was all really genuinely good here, he's got it down, the dynamism didn't feel stodgy and CGI-ified, wasn't just a big invulnerable guy bashing someone aside for ten minutes, they fought as a team, it looked and felt fun, and at times, really tense and involving. It's a huge step up from whatever they did for the theatrical. The Amazonian stuff was motivated, gripping and grand. Anything with Steppenwolf felt imposing and had heft and tactics to it. Bravo.

Speaking of Steppenwolf, his Middle Managers and Head Office in the form of marble liquid Henchman, Darkseid and CGI Anette Benning(??!!) felt like strange meaningless additions, as did the anti-life equation shit (this is what Marvel doesn't do, they're expert-level at exposition for newcomers and easter eggs for fans combined). Darkseid looked like a troll, neither imposing nor unique or cool, and I'm not talking an ordinary troll, I mean one of those shit ones that gets turned to stone in the sun, not even a proper fighting troll. He looked like the first mini-boss encounter in a Lord of the Rings videogame. But...

But Steppenwolf looked awesome and I actually liked him here and his Simp for Daddy schtick. I laughed at him a lot, but like Synder I had a lot of endearment for him and his cute, sad, hopeful eyes. Daddy please love me! I promise I'll do better! I can't explain why he worked this time but he did. Maybe it's because the story felt interesting (dumb but at least it all made sense internally) and it felt grand in scale and scope and had stakes and whole added motivations for everybody.

Speaking of what else worked, yes I enjoyed the 4:3 aspect ratio, I thought it would just be Zack Snyder wanking himself off again (see: Justice League: Dark or whatever they'll call his upcoming Black and White version) but I kind of loved it, it was almost euphoric and actually did replicate some of what going to the IMAX felt like. I liked feeling like these colossi of comic books were towering above like statues.

What didn't work was that the chapter headings had nothing to do with the chapters at all or anything that happened in them which felt strange. Also, characters over-egg their lines as if we're dumb and keep stating the obvious in such a first draft way that I felt myself getting stupider.

One of my main gripes is if you keep trying to one-up yourself, these character do not feel understandably epic and powerful. They're all kind of idiotic and silly and po-faced and posture so much and say snappy one-liners and prance around like Chads. Snyder thinking he’s some kind of subversive genius and all that is sweet, but most of time I'm laughing at his cloying fan-service. He's the kid that keeps telling you how great he is and you don't mind because you can see he's got no friends and he's been bullied. Snyder isn't as aggressively dumb and bullish like Michael Bay is, for example, and Snyder's movies are largely coherent. But he's trying too hard and I just don't like his vision. As little elseworld graphic novels this kind of shit between Batman and Joker works, or in films like Joker you can do some out-there things, rather than in this, a mainline, flagship series.

Zack Synder is a little like a first-time Dungeons and Dragons DM trying to impress his table with all his edgelord grittiness and "vision"; He is a child that has two figurines and is smashing them together and yelling "Look! Look what I'm doing! Superman is beating everyone up! LOOK!" Zack Snyder's Justice League is simply, more than anything, endearing. That's the best way I can describe it.

Endearing.

And this film being endearing means I can't hate it, even though I think it's rubbish; because if a child builds a fortress of Lego, it's not exactly the Taj Mahal, but it is impressive. But when he knocks it all down I'm right there yelling for him to pick up all the destroyed pieces now because it can't always be playtime. A film can't just be spectacle and chaos and whatever-the-fuck-you-want. It has to be about something.

Justice League is about nothing. The Dark Knight was about Chaos in a system used to Order even if there was chaos inherent in the order. And it asked you to look at that chaos vs unbridled chaos. With both Dent and Joker as two sides of the same coin; chaos and order, and it put that paradox or that choice to the people of Gotham. It was about surveillance states, money, and sacrifice. And so much more. The Dark Knight subsequently became timely and timeless.

Justice League is about nothing and it will fade into nothing because of it. The euphoria will pass. It's OK it exists. It OK that we move past it now.

source https://letterboxd.com/offworldcolony/film/zack-snyders-justice-league/