#his old ref was so busy oh my god there was so much text on it

[catgirlkirigiri]

Everyone's favorite sad 12 year old finally got the new ref he deserved <3

[jake-guentzel-59]

Shoot your Shot Part 1 - Auston Matthews

Now this is my first imagine and don’t be mad if you actually like it because it doesn’t have a lot of Auston in it all. I want this to be a series if people actually like it  maybe like 4 or 5 parts? I feel like you need to get the main character first so most of this is about her. I’m working on part 2 and if this part has a good response I’ll post part 2 sometime tomorrow. Sorry again for the lack of Auston. Words: 1810 Warnings: Some cursing, mentions of some penguins players ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Finally being able to go a NHL game and watch your two favourite teams play is like a dream come true. The Penguins have always been your number one team but moving to Toronto has made you fall in love with the Maple Leafs. Auston Matthews may also have something to do with your new-found love for them. Moving to Toronto has been one of the best things that has ever happened to my family. My mom and dad got a pretty nasty divorce a couple of months ago. They never got along and were always fighting when they were together. He caught my mom cheating with his best friend. It broke his heart, I don’t think I've ever seen him so sad before. He ended up moving to Toronto after getting the job of Head of Peds Surgery at The Hospital for Sick Children and taking my 4-year-old sister Madeline with him. I stayed with my mom in Quebec to finish the last month of senior year with all my friends but the day after graduation, I hopped on a plane straight to Toronto. Me and my mom never got along, we would always be fighting and yelling at each other, so I couldn’t wait to get to Toronto. I had a great summer here, maybe even the best summer I've ever had. I met a lot of great people. A couple of days ago my dad saved the life of 6-year-old boy. He suffered from a brain injury. It was a very difficult surgery; about 5 hours long. They kept losing him and didn't think he was going to make it. But he was a fighter and pulled through. His father was so grateful that my dad was able to pull it off. Him and his son came to Toronto to see the Leafs game but they couldn’t go due to his sons' surgery so he offered, scratch that, he MADE my dad take the tickets for everything he did. My dad never really followed hockey, only watched games when I was watching them, so he gave me the tickets and I took a friend with me. She was a huge Leafs fan so she was ecstatic when I told her I was taking her.

 It was game day and I couldn’t be more excited. I thought about wearing my Geno jersey to support the Pens but I decided that wasn’t a good idea going to a Leafs home game. I decided on just wearing a blue shirt seeing as I didn’t own a Toronto jersey. I had a tough time trying to find something seeing as me and group of friends were going out afterwards to celebrate my 19th birthday. I wouldn't have time to go home and change after the game, so I was trying to find something that wasn’t too flashy to wear to the game but nothing to boring to wear to a club. Finally finding an appropriate outfit, I started doing my hair and makeup.   "Logan, can you come downstairs for a minute?" My dad yelled. "Yeah, I'll be down in just a second!" I replied, finishing up my makeup. Making my way down the stairs, I'm greeted at the bottom by my dad, Madeline and my best friend Kenzie. Dad holding a cake with lit candles, Madeline had some balloons and Kenzie was holding Madeline. All of them wearing birthday hats. "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Logan, Happy birthday to you!" They all sang.   "Thank you guys so much!" I exclaimed, after blowing out the candles. "LOG, I made you a gift!" Madeline yelled excitedly squirming out of Kenzies arms. She went running into the living room and came running back out with a poorly wrapped gift that you could tell she did herself. After she handed it to me I opened it up to reveal a framed picture she painted of me and her. It had macaroni, feathers, pom-poms and way too much glitter.   "Thank you so much Mads, I'm gonna hang it on my wall so I can see it every day." I told her giving her a big hug. Madeline, or Mads as I call her, is only person I'm closer to than my dad. When she was born she had a heart defect and doctors didn’t think that she would survive. I knew the moment I first held her that I would do anything in the world just to protect her. "I'm glad you love it so much" She said. "I love it almost so much as I love you" I told her kissing her cheek. "Alright, time for my present" Dad said handing me a gift bag. I opened it up it find an Austin Matthews jersey. "I know you wanted to wear your Dino jer-"He started "Dad, its Geno" I corrected him laughing "Whatever or whoever it is, I know you wanted to wear his jersey but I also knew you secretly wanted to this guys jersey more, so I got Kenzie to help me out because I have no idea who any of this people are" He stated. "Thank you guys so much" I said giving them both hugs, "It's my second favourite present" I told them winking at Mads. "Well you never got my gift yet, just wait till we get the club after the game. I'm gonna get you fuc-… fudge, yeah I'm gonna get you fudge!" Kenzie corrected herself after my dad gave her a look because Mads was in the room. My dad was used to giving Kenzie this look. My best friend is very talkative, outgoing, and tends to say more curses than a grown man. My dad wasn't too sure of her the first time he met her but Mads just loved her. I met her my second day in Toronto at a small café. She works there as a barista and when I ordered my coffee, she wouldn’t shut up about how much she loved my make-up and that I had to do hers later that night because she had a 'hot date'. She wouldn't take no for an answer, so I needed up doing her make-up for her date. We talked and got to know each other very well. Later that night at about 1 or 2 in the morning, I got a text from her saying that because of my make-up skills, I helped her get the love her life and also the best sex of her life. They have been dating for about 3 months and they're hands down the cutest couple I've ever seen. Kenzie would have my back for anything. She's helped me through my parents' divorce and to get over my summer fling. I would be lost without her. "Well it's 7:30 now so you guys should be heading out now if you want to make it on time" Dad told us pushing us out the door. Kenzie decided on driving to the game, leaving the jeep there after the game and getting an Uber to the club. She wasn’t too worried about leaving the jeep there because it was her brothers and she didn’t care what happened to it. Her and her brother were nowhere as close as me and Mads. Also, according to her both of us needed to get very fucked up tonight because I didn't live in Toronto for her 19th so we had to make up for lost time. "I'm so excited for this game. Maybe you'll even catch a certain Mr. Matthews eye with your new jersey if the seats are close enough." She said wiggling her eyebrows "Where are we sitting anyways?" "Yes, I'm going to make him fall in love with me while I'm screaming at refs at all of their stupid calls but I believe were glass seats near the Toronto bench but I'm not sure, I don't know my way around the ACC that good yet" I stated. The rest of the 20-minute drive was just us screaming singing, very badly may I add, to our favourite songs. We finally made it to our seats just in time for warm up to start. Our seats were glass seats right next to the Leafs bench. Kenzie insisted that I had to sit in the seat closest to the bench because there's no way my future husband wasn't sitting on that bench. Ever since me and my summer fling broke things off, she has been trying to set me up with just about any guy that looked my way. She says I'm too pretty to just waste life away by myself but I'm perfectly fine without a boy. I don't think I need a guy so I'm not really out looking but I happen to stumble upon a good one I wouldn’t say no. "Oh my god there's Geno and Jake and Crosby, this is the best day ever!" I exclaimed to Kenzie "I think you might be at the wrong home game, like how are not excited over Marner, Matthews or Nylander. My god Logan you're wearing a Matthews jersey at least pay some attention to the Leafs." She said to me laughing. "Yeah yeah whatever, I guess you are right though. Matthews looks pretty damn good in person" I told her laughing as well, "These seats are amazing, I'm gonna have to go to the hospital and thank the guy who gave them to my dad. You know what, there's still 15 minutes left of warm up I'm gonna go get something for him and his son. I'll be back in a few minutes" I walked out to the concession stand area. They were selling everything Toronto out there. I picked them out some small things like a Toronto teddy bear, foam finger, and a bunch of other knick knacks. Remembering how the dad was saying he was going to buy his son a jersey at the game to surprise him, I even picked up a small jersey for the little boy. Making it back to my seat with 5 minutes left of warm up. "Good your back, now I really think you should shoot your shot with Matthews and if that doesn’t work try Nylander. Now I know Matthews has a reputation of sleeping around a lot but I think you could tame hi-" Kenzie started before she was interrupted by a puck hitting the glass. "Jesus Christ!" I screamed while jumping. I was too busy listening to Kenzies’ 'plan' that it scared me more than it should have. "Who did that?' I asked as we both searched the ice to find the source. "I believe it was your future husband" She said as she pointed towards the ice. I followed her finger to Marner laughing and Matthews waving at us. "I guess he's shooting his shot first" I said waving back to him.  

[grizzlefur]

WWEm - The Chairening

((25-6 Sep))

!WAR NOONRETFA YADNOM si siht ,secnerefer s'relggiZ hploD naht ytrap eht ot retaL

niaga yaw gnorw eht epat eht dedaol ev'uoy ,leinad lleh gnickuf

tuo ti tros

--------------------

ahem

technical difficulties aside, let's watch some wrestling

it's monday because fuck off, i don't do schedule

this is the go-home show from no mercy, so presumably something will happen

even if it's just cesaro getting new teeth

and miz is already here

wait, shit, apparently this is actually ontario, california

now i need to retract that whole rant from last time, on the grounds that this is apparently a real place

anyway, slideshow of jj gettng fucked on by the miz to resounding cheers

everyone loves miz cos they're still in SoCal

even if he is wearing a janky-ass check suit

oh, and he's here to interview roman

great

now people love miz even more by comparison

miz kicks off by mentioning taker so people remember how much they hate roman

throws roman a softball question about how it feels to take over from cena, he stares into the middle distance for an uncomfortably long time

and then canned monologue about how he now respects cena

and he doesn't see why he should be spending time in a room with miz

who's like well i'm the one here with a belt so nyahhhhhh

takes the opportunity to throw shade at jj, roman stands up for him and says miz couldn't beat him one on one

asks the miztourage for a beer

miz is like no my talk show has standards

and like hey yeah it's such a bad thing to have two guys helping you out oh waaaaaait

floats the idea of the miztourage vs the shield, the crowd goes nuts

roman laughs, is like yeah fuck that, crowd hate him

and then talks about his path to the universal championship, manages to mess up brock's name

miz commences to a+ ranting about how he's the most important champ on the show

certainly the most hardworking

roman's like fuck it, okay, let's fight

miz desperately backpedals

is like nope sorry can't wrestle in this suit and also my wife is pregnant

so relevant

makes his farewells, leaves, but OH WAIT here's kurt

to be like yeah cool let's do this shit

roman/miz later on, mizoturage v matt hardy and jj now

because jeff's shoulder's fucked AGEEN

but first let's have this advert for hiac

although why you'd need to advertise it is a mystery to me when you could just read kevin's outstanding twitter feed

back in the room, and here are the hardyz

jeff's here to watch

and  rock out to their music

slowmo replay of the tower of doom spot that fucked his shoulder, doesn't look pleasant

and here's jj, met with overwhelming ambivalence

matt's got his green trousers on so at least they're coordinated

bell rings, jason commences to dismantle the other team by himself

finally tags matt in, crowd start paying attention

matt brings his usual brand, laughing like a goat and shambling curtis axel to death

ad break, so the miztourage get some offence in

because we all know heels are allergic to being filmed

apparently they did it by stepping to jeff and making jj defend him

you'd think that'd be a job for his actual brother, but then you clearly don't know the hardyz

corey talks about his time in the ring with bo for some serious oldschool nxt nostalgia

jj throws curtis out of the ring, double hot tag, cue matt mashing bo's face

side effect, curtis breaks the pin, jj spears both of them into the corner, twist of fate on bo for the pin

cole manages to mix matt and jason up

i guess they are both basically the same colour

positioned on the thin line between actual poc and tan as fuck

up next, we talk about the universal championship match

yay, more brock on my tv

after this ad for smackdown

and total bellas

featuring nikki and john arguing about power of attorney

thrilling

corey claims the universal title match was like a sci-fi movie, offers precisely no information to back this up

well, i guess it was less interesting and well-executed than the premise would suggest, so i guess there's that similarity

yeah, that's me throwing shade at disappointing adaptations of hugo award-winning books

(all of them)

come at me

in any case, here's elias

wearing his chicago tour shirt

(which i now own)

ontario have mixed opinions on walking with elias

apparently we're having a rematch of him and apollo tonight

this diss track is primarily about apollo, because nobody has anything interesting to say about ontario, CA

anyway, here's apollo

and titus

fight starts immediately as the bell rings, ref has to sneak in to pick up elias' scarf

booker talks about titus' political ambitions, corey reprimands him that "we don't do politics"

if only everyone in the company took that view

(wow, there's shade for everyone today)

the crowd are vocally behind apollo, which is novel

elias punches titus in the leg to distract apollo, superkick and drift away for the pin

after which titus runs in to fight elias

and everyone's like ohhhh yeah he's a wrestler

very short scrap before elias runs away

up next, finn does a thing

and we need to stop hyping the whole 'Man vs Man' thing

how was nobody on creative like welp that's a fucking stupid tagline, let's just do some more coke instead

cancer kids ad, and now charly interviews finn in a room made of curtains

i wouldn't put it past finn to have an interview in twin peaks

finn thanks bray for pushing him to succeed, restates his universal title ambitions, leaves

well that was short

meanwhile, here's curt hawkins and his 118-match losing streak

and here's braun

this'll go well

curt's like waaaaaaait a second this was a bad idea

and runs away

into the crowd

braun doesn't give a shit, leaps the barricade to chase him throw the crowd

and chokeslams him through a table

guys, that table was presumably there for a reason

now where will the tech guys keep their snacks

picks him up, takes him up to the stage and powerslams him through the led boards

god bless you, curt

bumping like a champ

braun goes back to the ring, gets a mic

like fuck that guy who wants to come and give me a real fight

and it's dean, because ill-considered decisions are totally his thing

walks over to examine curt's corpse, shrugs, heads to the ring

dean is, as ever the living embodiment of eh, fuck it

he's here with the scars of having the best match on the last night's show

but all his teeth, so could be worse

so braun's just focusing on working his bad shoulder

which is weirdly technical for him

you'd think just pounding the shit out of him would work just as well whether he's got a bad shoulder or not

dean tries the princess bride-style sleeper, gets smashed into some turnbuckles for it

keeps trying punching braun and getting headbutted to death

collapses, braun tries the foot pin

doesn't take

this match is like 90% just dean ragdolling around the arena, but it's actually p good

he gets a bit of offence courtesy of an eye poke

dean tips braun over the ropes, braun's like whatevs dude i'm tall and just stands on the floor

booker makes reference to braun having a "cloak of invincibility" [sic] despite the fact that he lost the night before

and dean gets powerslammed into oblivion

where's seth anyway

not here for his best bro

corey's commentary on the highlights package from that suggests he may not in fact know what a ddt is

backstage, kurt tells a ref to be extra careful in the miz match

and now here's enzo

who we gave a belt for some godforsaaken reason

he proposes a 'celebratory brouhaha'

kurt's like dude that was the shadiest win do you actually deserve it

enzo makes more noises, kurt caves

offers some advice from a longtime champ, enzo's like nah dude you're good and leaves

up next, alexa exists

after this archive footage of stone cold driving a beer truck into the arena eighteen years ago

presented by snickers for no particular reason

but now here's dean in the trainer's room

seth's brought him ice, asks him to be less ludicrously self-destructive now they're working together

like dude maybe at least let me know next time

dean calls him predictable, seth tries to prove he's not

so he's going to ask for a match with braun next week

dean's like yeah, fair, i did not expect that

perhaps not a great idea though

ah well

in the ring, here's alexa

in a sleeveless silver jacket that i would so totally wear

now maryse isn't on the show, i'll just have to steal alexa's wardrobe ideas

alexa thinks of all of us as her personal friends, and she's very disappointed in us

for not appreciating her victory

and looking forward to asuka too much

and here's...mickie?

god, this division is so arbitrary with who the next contender's going to be

apparently alexa said some uncomplimentary things about her on raw talk

i was busy not watching it

in my defence, it had 100% more lawler than i need in my day

alexa is just doubling down on the sarcastic praise of mickie

can't really narrate it, because we all know how sarcasm works in text

damn this restrictive medium

alexa's like hey i would fight you, but i don't want you to break a hip

mickie comes back by making fun of alexa's boobs

class

she wants alexa to repeat what she said on raw talk or fuck off

oh, apparently it was calling her an old lady

alexa repeats, gets kicked out of the ring

yet more hype for roman/miz

i am resolutely unhypened

but up next, seth/sheamus

after this asuka advert

still with the sun tzu quote for whatever reason

here comes seth, still burning it down

i love the person in the crowd with a giant milk carton sign with MISSING above a picture of cesaro sans teeth

sheamus is in full kkb gear, cesaro's just in a grey suit and aviators, which mostly has the effect of making him look like pitbull

cue slideshow of the match at no mercy

including the spot that should totally have been the finish

ooh, apparently cesaro's teeth were pushed up into his gums rather than out

ouch

not that i ever really trust wwe's descriptions of injuries, tbh

seth suicide dives sheamus, takes a moment to mock cesaro, eats an irish curse for his trouble

sheamus gets seth up in a stretch muffler, which is a move that seems to have undergone something of a resurgence just recently

and then into a cloverleaf

eventual rope break, but that did not look fun

speaking of moves that are coming back, seth gets a punt to the face

sheamus and cesaro take a moment to grandstand, giving seth time to dodge the eventual brogue

sheamus goes to the top rope, seth meets him downstairs with a gut kick, kingslayer for the pin

which apparently they're calling the ripcord knee now?

well w/e

up next, talking about cena

yaaaay

after more ads for our other shows

and now finn's backstage

runs into goldust, who's got his mojo back

goldust takes issue with finn positioning him as a victim and someone who needs help

a view you might recognise from previous editions of this blog

hi, dustin

finn apologises, goldust accepts but then punches him in the face a bunch

quotes godfather 2 at him, breathes in his face, leaves

but now it's time to talk about cena/reigns

have this slideshow in which we try and make it look way more dynamic than it atually was

and the clip from raw talk with cena being magnanimous

which i did watch, thanks to the miracle of...THE INTERNET

*internet theme plays*

(answers on a postcard what you think that would be)

video package ends, we move on

really thought we were gonna get something more than just replays of last night

but hey

nexg up, roman/miz

after this advert for story time and title card about how wwe's the best at twitter

here's roman, nobody cares

case in point: i spent his entire entrance staring blankly at my facebook feed before realising i should probably say something

a+ journalism

as i type that, enter the miz in a delightful silver lamé sheath

and also his minions in human clothes

bell rings, miz kicks off by trying to talk his way out of this match

makes the point that nobody really has anything to gain from this entirely meaningless match, and he's not wrong

roman accepts the handshake, then punches him a lot

such mixed messages

miz gets out of the ring and hides behind his dudes to rant, roman stands there and laughs douchily because his current gimmick is 'You know that smug fucker who's in your friend group for no reason you can really establish and whom you could quite happily punch in his big grinning twat face? Yeah, him."

miztourage are continually interfering whenever they're more than about five degrees from the ref's eyelines

wwe refs are like the shitty starting enemies in any stealth game

roman's selling an injured back, corey waxes lyrical about sciatica

as you do

and then takes the chance while roman's getting kicked in the face to say 'xiphoid process'

superman punches to all three heels, giving miz time to get away

that last line spoken in the voice of sandra bullock

(yeah, esoteric references)

miz eats a driveby, hits a big ddt for a nearfall

roman counters a finale into a spear, pin, #romanwinslol

the miztourage immediately come in to kick the shit out of roman

they'll be a long time at it

he is so full of shit

fights them off, superman punches miz again, stops to taunt him

sets up to powerbomb him, curtis and bo hit him with chairs

oh yeah, we're setting up for the furniture PPV

makes sense i guess

miz hits a finale, gloats

end thing]

or not

miz decides he didn't get to take part in ç, runs back to the ring to give roman some

and then another finale onto a chair

hits him with another chair, then the three of them do the shield fists over him

good moment

speaking of things that are not that, enzo's brouhaha is coming later

but next, finn/goldust

after this ad for 2k18

and nxt

back in the room, goldust is here and i've only just realised how much his music reminds me of music from freespace 2

*does the arms*

wait, does this mean we're having enzo's dick party as the main event?

well, i guess that means something eventful will happen

and it'll presumably be in the form of everything going wrong for him

this match just went really quickly into both of them being really vicious

finn's like i'll be helpful and magnanimous and shit, but if you cross me i will fucking end you

seems reasonable

goldust is floored by a pele kick to the air a couple inches above his shoulder

followed by a really sloppy sling blade

who do i blame for this

and then, despite selling hurt ribs, hits a coup de grace for the win

i know when i've hurt my ribs, i like to concertina my body onto another human from a significant height

wyatt cut, house lights go out, creepy child singing

wyatt cut again, end thing

huh

apparently later we have sasha/bayley v nia/emma

and here's bayley and sasha backstage

tension abounds

they both try and passive-aggressively semi-apologise for fighting over the belt last night

and bayley tells a sad story about her shoulder trauma and physiotherapy

they bond, end thing

and now here's kurt backstage

enzo accosts him, kurt has the facial expression any of us would have when accosted in a corridor by enzo amore

enzo wants a stipulation for his party

anyone touches him, they lose any shot at the belt

kurt's like fine whatever please go away

"Oh, and one more thing: you're annoying as hell. Annoying. As. Hell."

kurt angle, speaking for all of us

time for the women's match now

here's noa

or indeed nia

Pro Wrestling NOAH Jax

have a hispanic heritage month thing for julio cesar chavez

just under the bar before we run out of month

back in the room, emma's here, as is her excruciating new music

what are cfo$ even on atm

and now sasha in her matador jacket

and bayley in a cancer charity tshirt, because if one wrestler was going to wear one, it'd be her

did we really need that slowmo footage of bayley's shoulder shitting the bed?

this match presented by novartis, because we at dubby dubby wee are 100% cure there could be no problem with emphasising the link between wrestlers and pharmaceuticals

nia leg drops bayley's bad arm, which is a move that would look nasty as hell on an uninjured arm

bayley throws emma into nia, ensuing tension gives her time for a hot tag

sasha and bayley both outside doing some strong team work, bayley runs nia into the post

emma almost gets a rollup, eats a bayley to belly off a blind tag for the pin

that was...functional?

as long as the intended function is continuing the shittening of emma, i guess

backstage, enzo rants at strangers like a homeless methhead

guess what we've got next

after this ad for raw in denver with rollins/strowman and roman/miz for the belt (why?)

enzo arrives, corey commences to rage against them taking the belt away from the best thing in the division and giving it to "essentially a Muppet"

and now he's trying to convince booker to cover for him while he sneaks off

wait, can i do that?

daniel?

...

daniel is gone

touché

enzo's doing a speech

and he's personifying the belt as a woman again

essay question: Are there objects or status symbols that Enzo Amore *doesn't* want to put his dick in?

[30 marks]

mocks cass for getting injured, rails at the fans

compares himself to cena, batista and the rock

unveils his baseball jersey which he's had framed

mocks 205 live

...is he still a face?

i have no idea

cue the 205 theme music

and the entire fucking cruiserweight roster pouring out onto the stage

he starts talking again, they all stand on the stage looking just beyond done with him

mocks rich for dancing and cedric for having no charisma, they're both just like dude have you seen yourself

calls gran metalik fat

"I call it how I see it, right?"

the clarion call of the douchebag everywhere

mocks jack, drew and noam for...unclear reasons, is interrupted by neville's entrance

uses the phrase 'real man', i reach through time and the television to slap him in the face

makes fun of neville's ears

this is some incisive material right here

neville gets on the mic, so i'm happy

calls enzo out for being a toxic shitbag who's alienated everyone he's ever met

fair

spins us a tale of how enzo was dumped on the division's doorstep and the rest of the division convinced him to keep him

and does a superlative rant at him for making the division into a joke

and announces he's here to kill enzo on behalf of the whole division

enzo pulls out his piece of totally legally binding paper

which may in fact be a post-it note?

talks shit at him some more, continues to mock everyone in the division

tells him to fuck off

neville thinks fuck it, i have principles, kicks him in the stomach

and throws him into his framed douchebag jersey

and also everything else

enzo tries to run, the entire roster walks up the ramp to block him in

this is some heartwarming shit right here

neville catches him again, resumes the murder

feeds him his piece of paper, kicks him in the head to raucous applause

this is the greatest double turn ever

red arrows him so hard he does a full handspring out of it

and we fade on a fallen douchebag with a mouth full of paper as a conquering king breathes heavily on him

as all great works of literature do

right, since daniel's not here i guess i need to do the technical bits

which lever is it that switches tapes to smackdown

gonna try this one

----------------------------------------

Well, let's all just accept that that was not the correct lever to pull and try and move on

daniel got back just in time to get my leg out of the tape deck

also he brought sushi, so is forgiven for being slightly late for the second show

with all that said, let's get on with some THURSDAY AFTERNOON SMACKDOWN!

(okay, daniel was *very* late)

i'm only a week and a bit behind, i've done worse

although hiac is on sunday, and i'm going out tomorrow and saturday

this could be fun

need to watch a week and a bit of wrestling in like a day an a half

woooooo

anyway, the show's starting with a recap of vincegate

and shane talking about how great the mcmahons are

and somehow being a face, despite the fact that the mcmahons are just objectively the worst

and everything kevin has done is totally proportional

speaking of, here he comes in the present

(the present time, that is)

(kevin owens has not been giftwrapped)

just had that smackdown moment of remembering how good the announce panel is

or at least it should be, if tom could remember how to speak english

we're like two minutes into the show and he's cocked up three times

kevin gets in, calls shane out

and also everybody who called him a coward

like sure, i wasn't here last week, but now i am and shane's nowhere to be seen hmmmmmmm

calls shane a very smart man

[citation needed]

kevin claims to personally like vince, so that should get some heel heat

and he's like look what i did to someone i respect and like, so how much will i fuck you up, you twat

on a related note, here comes sami

looking serious

steps in and just straight asks kevin what is wrong with him

like dude, we hav our problems but you are seriously off the rails here

apparently this feud is going to destroy kevin's career and also his life and family

kevin's like yeah w/e you're just jealous

sami is despondent

some people just can't be helped

no kevin, don't draw our attention to the fact that shane mcmahon is going to be headlining hiac

kevin argues sami has never done anything as important as him headbutting vince

sami comes back like yeah, while this is all technically true, you're a cheating fucker

sami will have his day and it will be beautiful and wholesome

(when all of current creative have died)

calls kevin trash, both drop their mics and square up

here comes bryan to interfere

confirms that shane is not here, and might not turn up tonight

a+ commissioning there

proposes kevin/sami tonight

well that'll be original

oh, who cares

i mock, but every one of their 84736395 matches has been great

end thing

later we have a pride of bulgaria celebration

apparently

and also dillinger/corbin next

after this ad for new day/usos at hiac

which is so going to be the best match again

and the first of many plugs for the hiac theme

by a band i've actually heard of for once

and here's baron

i think they've tweaked his music again?

i don't remember this many vocals on it

but it's possible i just stopped paying attention when baron came on screen

roll recap vt of the ongoing feud

tbf, i don't mind this new music of baron's

it's kind of shitty nu metal, but he's a shitty nu metal kind of person

and here's tye

i miss his alien waistcoat

(five words i have never said before)

and also here's aj for some reason

possibly just to show up both of their themes by being so much better

tye throws baron over the ropes while he's looking at aj

cue ad break

during which the heel has had a bunch of offence

funny how that works

the internet confirms that baron's music is new as of this ep

good to know i'm not completely unreliable

meanwhile, tye is wrestling a good match and baron is being baron

and aj is on announce

baron gets chased outside, ends up face to face with aj and throws his bottle of water over him

and then throws tye at him

and tye loses to a weirdly fast countout

so that happened and wasn't bullshit at all

aj runs into the ring, baron fucks off like a shitty nu metal motorbike wolf guy type

oh, he's sticking around

gets up to the stage, decides to get a mic and head back down to taunt aj

claims aj can only win with help, because he apparently hasn't been watching wrestling in the last decade

challenges him for the belt at hiac

end thing

another ad for the pride of bulgaria celebration

during which rusev will apparently receive the key to the city of plovdiv

which sounds like the shit i'd make up, but it's actually what they said

anyway, next it's jinder being just the worst

after an ad for total bellas

and a recap of all the shit that just happened with aj and baron

and confirmation of their hiac match, if we needed it

but now here's the indian contingent

flanking jinder

(sick burn)

this week jinder is apparently here to compliment shinsuke

oh, no, he's going to laugh at his face some more

who wrote this angle

and who didn't fire them

ha

as they were laughing at one picture, he started moving

THE FEED IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE BUILDING

shinsuke announces his presence, cue the best entrance

jinder freaks out, the singhs rush him and get beaten up

allowing jinder to come from behind and  slam shinsuke into things

like he does so...

well, like he does

shinsuke fights back, beats up all three and kinshasas jinder

end segment, hire new writers

apparently tonight will be the first owens/zayn match on smackdown live

this is the only reason they rebranded, so they could make that matchup fresh again

up next, hype bros/usos

and here come the new day, who are notably neither of those teams

they've brought popcorn and snacks

presumably to lurk and be hilarious for this match

after this cancer ad

i'm not convinced by the SUPER DELUXE FURNITURE KALEIDOSCOPE graphics for tlc

better or worse than HANDS AND SKUUUUUUUULLS

hard to say

but i think the designer of both needs to calm the fuck down a bit

back from ads, the bros are already in but the usos get an entrance

new day are in the front row of the crowd

but e still has binocualrs

bell rings, the usos immediately kick a significant percentage of the shit out of mojo

new day start a mojo chant, giving him enough of his namesake back to get a hot tag

looked away to answer the phone, came back thirty seconds later to see the usos get the pin

why is this such a ppv setup show when there's another week to go

usos get mics, go over to call the new day out

e produces a mic from his box of popcorn, because of course he fucking does

new day clap back, xavier challenges them to a cell match

that match will be every flavour of bonkers, and i am very excited for it

corey's like well we have to wait and see whether it gets made official

because apparently he doesn't know how wrestling challenges work

but up next, plovdiv pride

wait, i'm being told that that may not mean what i think

after this ad for raw

and here's aiden?

in a lovely suit

he's emceeing the party

what a cravat

(actual cravat for once)

and he has the mayor of plovdiv with him

huge if true

aiden does a big hype piece for rusev, he comes to the ring as aiden sings the national anthem

crowd boo and do usa chants, because dicks

okay, imma have to look up the bulgarian national anthem and see if this is actually it

if it is, props to aiden

well, at least half the crowd held the boos until after the national anthem

okay, one research break later i can confirm that someone in dubby dubby wee actually did their homework this time

the mayor is reading from a scroll kindly held by aiden

in bulgarian, obv

boos resound

i caught some of it, because it's quite similar to russian

repeats the speech in english for the cheap seats

and apparently september 26th is now rusev day

add that to your calendars

i didn't mention it, but rusev is wearing a natty waistcoat and on a bulgarian flag podium throughout

rusev thanks the mayor, replays the vt of his nine-second win over randy

plovdiv has the cheapest-ass key to the city i've ever seen

and believe me, i've seen the keys to many cities

rusev repeats his claim to have ripped out randy's fangs

p sure i'd remember that

it's apparently his jungle now

which is handy, because nobody had said anything about a jungle before now

aiden has a rusev day song he wrote for us

randy appears out of the crowd to rko aiden mid-flow

and then i thought for a minute he rko'd the mayor as well

but rusev had pushed him out of the way and gallantly taken the fall for him

there's way more nationalism on this episode than i'm comfortable with, ftr

but now, sami gets called into bryans office/curtain corridor/upholstery and poster shop

apparently shane is on his way

sami wants him to hold off so he can beat on kevin himself

bryan will see what he can do

but up next, charlotte/carmella

after this ad for 2k18

and yet another total bellas plug

and now randy's in a corridor

accosts renee, rather than the other way round for once

gives her a challenge for rusev at hiac if she sees him

wishes her a happy rusev day, leaves

and now we're back in the room

with charlotte

but still no peacock robe

booo

really long recap vt of charlotte/nattie

when it could be summed up with 'she's a hart, she's a flair, not gonna go well'

carmella arrives with her briefcase and her boo on his leash

which she then fastens to the turnbuckle

i have no clue what they're trying to go for with this, but i'm enjoying it

tom's like corey, you're down with the alternative kids, the fuck is this about

carmella distracts the ref with deviously detachabale jewellery, letting ellsworth push her off the turnbuckle

which was kind of charlotte's own fault for going up the turnbuckle her enemy's minion was chained to, tbh

carmella hits her with a dodgy-ass crossbody

charlotte kind of had to jump into it to take the bump

and after a functional few minutes, carmella eats a superkick for the pin

this remains such a ppv setup show

what will we do next week

now here’s nattie in new gear

even more transparent than usual

she's like hey char good to know your dad's ok he can watch me kick you to death at hiac lollllll

grin, end thing

this episode, snickers brings us the debut of cena for some unstated reason

but more importantly, fashion files returns next week

and by next week, i do of course mean two days ago

time, eh?

and...

undertaker bongs?

whaaaaaa

oh wait, it'll be dolph

the announce team are all buying into it because of course they are

oh hey, corey's got his number

just like really dolph the fuck is wrong with you

while this is true, the big hat kind of suits him

the crowd twigs, they hate him

he's like come on guys, did you really think you'd see taker twice in one year

which is fair

i need a gif of him going "Ahhhhh, the 90s" there

halfway through his usual rant about how anyone can gimmick, here's a walking gimmick to...prove his point?

anyway, it's bobby roode

i could cheerfully slap both men in this feud

bobby gets into the ring, calls dolph out for being a hypocrite

someone had to

are they trying to angle him as a kind of face-of-the-people babyface here?

cos that's just weird after his nxt run

challenges dolph for hiac

crowd chant for it, dolph's like i don't give a shit guys, shut up

dolph accepts, tries to do the rest in peeeeeeacehmgrlfrgn, bobby shuts him up so he can say glorious some more

but now, main event time

all the matches in this episode have been functional at best, so hopefully this'll pick it up

after this ad for 205 and a recap of all the shit that went down with enzo

and here's a sami

specifically zayn

although i do kind of want him to ride a eindeer to the ring

and here's kevin, no bullshit

bell rings, mutual pummelling begins

these guys are fighting like they're very aware that another segment overran and they don't have a lot of time

so they're just having the same match, but sped up like 20%

sudden cut to another feed, shane is in the building

back in the ring

kevin dodges a crossbody into a beautiful superkick

clip from the ad break of sami hitting a brainbuster on kevin on the apron

okay, yeah, these guys are elevating it

sami jumps over a popup attempt, counters into a blue thunder bomb

kevin dodges a helluva kick, so sami hits an absolutely brutal tope on him instead

and by 'on him' i do of course mean 'largely on his own ankles'

goes for a torpedo ddt, kevin blocks with another superkick

lovely timing there

and hits the apron powerbomb

at which point the ref calls for the bell

because apparently that move was worse than sami's apron brainbuster?

enter some medics to do helpful yet unspecified medical stuff

sami tries to fight them off while being functionally dead in his usual 'dead fish who will fucking have you' style

kevin sits on the announce table watching all this, then decides he sitll has more rage to vent, and bodychecks through sami and all the medics

and now he has a chair

KEVIN OWENS OF EARTH.

YOU HAVE GREAT RAGE IN YOUR HEART.

puts the chair around sami's neck, sets him up to throw him into the post, and HERE COMES THE MONEEEEEEEY

shane mcmahon, a man of deep principles who will only intervene when one of his employees is inches from death

kevin throws sami at him, hitting him in the face with his chair necklace, and runs away

another average day in the life of kevin 'maladjusted preteen' owens

everything focuses on shane and kevin staring at each other between the ring and the top of the stalls, and corey's like ummmm should someone maybe check on sami?

and we fade with that question still hanging in the air

but hey, sami'll be fine

we all know those two are like those irritating paired bosses in every rpg where you have to kill them at the same time or they'll just keep bringing each other back

nothing short of a complete detonation of canada will stop them

and on that bombshell, good night!

(i hate myself)

[loveofgodbooks]

The Ceremonial Law & Sacrificial System: What does it mean to the Gospel Message?

For Those Who Want To Know How the Law of Love, and the Mosaic Law Relate To Christians Today.

Discover the beautiful truth that God loves you and has a plan to save you! When you read this book, you will discover the truth of how God’s Law of Love relates to Christians today. Knowing the truth is important, so you can know what God expects from you, please Him, and be happy.

The Purpose of This Book:

This book is an explanation of how the Ceremonial Law, and the Sacrificial System in the Old Testament of the Bible relates to Christians. This will cover the changes that God made in Christianity from the Israelite faith, and what He wants from His people today. Questions may have arisen in your mind regarding what this means, that is the reason for this book, to clear it up. It is important to deal with this subject, since there are some common erroneous beliefs regarding it. This book also explains why it is not contradicting the Old Testament scriptures for God to bring about these changes. This is important, because there is an important Bible truth: To know if a prophet, or an apostle, or a preacher, or a leader is a true messenger from God, they must always agree with the proven established writers in the Bible that came before them. If their messages do not agree with the established writers in the Bible that came before, they will be a false prophet! Isaiah 8:20. The Bible, itself, must go by this standard, or there is a problem! This standard is not just for newer prophets, teachers, and preachers in our day, but for the whole Bible as well. Any method of interpretation that causes the Bible to have contradictions with itself is wrong, and needs to be discarded.

This book also contains an explanation of the Old and New Covenants in the Bible. It shows why the New Covenant is important for Christians, in a new way. This book contains a startling new idea about what the New Covenant really means, and how it relates to the Old or first Covenant that God made with His people at Mount Sinai. But is it really a new idea, or an idea that has been lost sight of by modern Christianity? You may think that you have heard this before, because it is not really stating a new truth, but this truth is not normally associated with the New Covenant, as far as we have ever heard.

You need to learn the real meaning of the New Covenant, because it is good news! It shows how much Jesus and His Father love you, I, and the world, and the fuller beauty of what Jesus and His Father did for us! Oh precious love! It breaks my heart! But nothing can fully document or fully explain Jesus, and His Father’s love for us, for it is infinite, and the very world itself could not contain the books about this that could be written! Our human brains will never be able to fully take in the love of God! But it is a most wonderful thing to try to take it in! We will show you what the New Covenant really means, and why it is important for you to know, in a way you probably haven’t heard it before.

It is so important to know what the New Covenant really means, to understand many of the other truths in the Bible, because many people are mixed up on this, and it causes them to not understand some of the plainest statements in the Bible. This book will help you to understand the true meaning of the “Old” and “New” Covenants, and how they do not contradict any portion of the Bible. We are writing this book, because people need to know the truth of what God expects out of His people in our day. The truth needs to be seen, so that those who love Him can please Him, and not be confused over what He wants them to do.

* This book is written from a devotion to God viewpoint, showing the truth in love, because love should be the center of everything that we do; it is why we should want to obey God, because we love Him!

What is holding you back from having all of the love and joy that you were meant to have, which comes from obedience to God, given by a heart that is totally given to Him? Acts 5:32 says that the Holy Spirit is given to all that obey God. Do you want to obey God in everything that He has said in His Holy Bible? There is a sweet joy in submitting yourself completely to God, that those who quibble over what the Bible says, because they don’t want to do it, will never know, unless they have a change made in their heart and want to obey Him. When you desire to obey God all the way, because you love Him, you will be given the Holy Spirit in full, and your life will never be the same again, then you will finally know true love; this is the love that makes life worth living, living for eternity! If you believe that God is leading you this way, read this book! Always make sure your heart is clear before God by confession of all of your sins, every day, and that you have prayed for help and guidance from Him to know all truth, as He has promised. “But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come.” John 16:13 NASB. Please pray that God will give you His precious Holy Spirit, and lead you into all truth, you will never regret it! God loves you and wants you to be filled with His peace, love, joy and faith, and live forever with Him in Heaven. Will you not respond to His call of love to your heart in the affirmative, and give your heart completely to Him now, and enjoy His loving presence in your heart now and forever? You will never regret it, we promise you! God loves you, and will take care of you, and save you, if you will let Him! Amen.

It is our prayer, dear reader, that you will have great joy in serving your God, whom you love, and that you would greatly desire to keep His commandments, because you love Him. And that you would be baptized by the Water and by the Holy Spirit, if you have not already experienced both of these, and have a wonderful new life with God. Amen!

This book has been edited in such a way as to make it work as best as possible for audio readers in the eBook versions, to be able to listen to it being read. This opens up this book for people who are blind, or have trouble reading, or for busy people who want to just listen to it while driving, walking, jogging, or working around home, etc. Sometimes you just want to relax, and not have to think too much, and just listen to an inspirational book being read. I recommend that you get a good text-to-speech Book Reader App, so that you can enjoy the full experience of this book.

This Book Will Show You:

* What was changed between the Israelite faith and Christianity for Gentiles?

* What does the Ceremonial Laws of Moses and Sacrificial System mean to Gentile Christians?

* How to avoid the errors that lead many to grossly misinterpret the Bible, to help keep you from being led astray and losing your eternal life.

* Some of the important truths that you will want to know, if you want to please God; He doesn’t want you to be confused. He wants to lead you into all truth, by the power of the Holy Spirit.

* This book will explain the meaning of the Council of Jerusalem in Acts 15.

* This book will explain the real meaning of “the Old Covenant” and “the New Covenant”, and what they mean for us today.

* The true meaning of the New Covenant, and why it is good news for you!

This book will cover the changes that God made in Christianity from the Israelite faith. Questions may have arisen in your mind regarding what this means, that is the reason for this book, to clear it up. It is important to deal with this subject, since there are some common erroneous beliefs regarding it.

This book will help those who want to love God, love Him more, and please and obey Him, when they learn how much He and Jesus His Son love us, and what they did for us!

This book teaches important Bible doctrines for Christians from a devotional viewpoint, because love should be the center of everything that we do; it is why we should want to obey God, because we love Him!

But some of the more important truths presented here may not always appear to be a devotional, but we will contemplate why we are to obey them, because we love Him.

See our Web Site for more information: http://www.WhiteRaimentEvangelism.com/the-ceremonial-law-sacrificial-syst

Buy or Get Free Sample on SmashWords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/654757

Buy or View on Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/Ceremonial-Law-Sacrificial-System-Christians-ebook/dp/B01M0YUM6L/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

Free PDF Brochures of this book:

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