#his name is liam kennedy btw | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lhlcurls · 3 years ago

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Chapters: 3/? Fandom: One Direction (Band) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne Characters: Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan, Liam Payne, Eleanor Calder, Zayn Malik, Paul Higgins (One Direction), Troy Austin, Jay Tomlinson, Tomlinson Sisters Additional Tags: Enemies to Lovers, Drugs, Enemies to Friends, Airports, Secret Relationship, Hallucinations, Gay, Rich Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles Loves Louis Tomlinson, Louis Tomlinson Loves Harry Styles, Niall Horan & Louis Tomlinson Friendship, Zayn Malik & Louis Tomlinson Friendship, Bottom Harry, Top Harry, Bottom Louis Tomlinson, Top/Bottom Versatile Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Top Louis Tomlinson, Rude Louis Tomlinson, Long-Distance Relationship, Homeless Niall Horan, Quiet Zayn Malik, OT5 Friendship (One Direction), Awkward Flirting, Gay Sex, Liam Payne & Harry Styles Friendship, Coming Out, Sexuality Crisis, POV Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson in Love, Non-Famous Harry Styles, Bisexual Zayn Malik, Gay Louis Tomlinson, Bisexual Niall Horan, Jealous Harry, Jealous Zayn Malik, Gay Panic, Poor Niall, Slow Build, Famous Louis Tomlinson, Pansexual Liam Payne, Queer Harry Styles Summary:

Louis Tomlinson is a big shot businessman that is constantly traveling. With obvious instant success he is always booked for jobs around the world. Louis Tomlinson, who always likes to be addressed by his full name, gets booked for last minute traveling from his office building in the grand New York City to his company headquarters in San Francisco, California. This booking is so sudden he barely makes his flight and truly makes a scene from leaving his office building to getting to John F. Kennedy International Airport, only the finest for Mr. Louis Tomlinson of course. Just as he can see the boarding doors close he runs and somehow makes his way aboard Flight #576. Of course not going unnoticed by everyone else on the flight like he wished he would, a pale, green eyed, boy wearing a pleasurable head to toe black suit with a tiny airplane pin, asks the 'Louis Tomlinson' a silly question. "Are you alright sir?" says the unnamed man before Louis' eyes. "I'm fine." Louis responds in a hurry to his seat, annoyed that the interaction even happened.

this is a ff that I've been writing btw <3

i promoted it before but here it is again :)

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lenfazreads · 7 years ago

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My Manaconda brings all the fans to the yard

So, as you might know, some of us decided to read together this wonderful piece of literary art called Manaconda.

I don’t know who found the book originally-.- yeah, as if you’ve ever believed that one.

Here’s my take on Manaconda (under the cut for spoilers)

The pain is real for Hunter *Manaconda* Jordan. He has it all: a successful band with a killer new album, a killer body, good looks and a great brother (we will come back to the brother, several times.) But yet, all goes down the drain when Rolling Stone decides to put him in the cover shirtless and with the caption of Manaconda on top of the bulge of his jeans.

Sales skyrocket, fans go crazy, and poor Hunter only wants people to see him for more than his large toolset.

Like I said, the pain is real for our hero. We have branded a term for this pain: cock angst.

Now queue in Kennedy McManus, go walks into the hotel where the band (Hammered, for crying out loud, there is no subtlety in here) is presenting it album. She walks in with high heel shoes, professional attire and an iPad with a pink case, all ready for business because Kennedy here is a career woman. Oh yes, all career, no fun for Kennedy. The only interest she has in Manaconda is how she can milk that buzz for all that is worth PR wise. She’s a PR Princess on a mission as she owns a favor to the owner of the record label, a guy that can totes make and break your career with just not naming you again. So yes, Kennedy needs to be in her A game in here, and she is as she checks social media accounts while doing a power walk and having everything under control as she finds the band manager, a woman by the name of Indie (Indie is a terrible manager, btw, but we will get to that later)

At this point we’re introduced to the rest of the band, whose names I can’t remember other than Keys (the only chick in the band) and Bats (who’s crazy as fuck, and we will go back to him over and over again). Then I think there was Wyatt, and an Irish guy… bc there is always an Irish guy (according to @winterbythesea ). Then I think there were two more, but they didn’t do nothing to be remembered… sadly, they had failed to stand out of the shadows of the manaconda long enough to grant them page-time (or their own book).

Now Kennedy has her first major task. Hunter has gone missing and she has to go fish him out of the kitchen where he’s cooking with his pal Tristan (we like Tristan, and we picture him as a cooler version of Chad Michael Murray in Gilmore Girls, as he defied his family and moved to LA to become a cool chef with blue hair.)

It all goes downhill from here. In a matter of 15 minutes between meeting him as he’s finishing putting together a bowl of pasta and the trek back to the stage Kennedy “I’m too professional so don’t call me Kenny, Mr Jordan” ends up making out in a dark corridor with the actual man of the hour after some really weird pasta eating that is supposed to be sensual but it only came out as someone had cut too many carbs out of her diet.

Of course, they get caught by a huge crowd. There are pics, social media posts and all that jazz. OF COURSE.

First plot twist: Kennedy doesn’t get fired on the spot. She actually stays for the show and doesn’t even get reprimanded by big tycoon that is supposed to be a hard ass career maker or breaker.

Sure, Jan.

Second plot twist: She kisses him again during the press conference because they are asking him about Bats hanging out with his ex-fiancee Victoria and poor Hunter is not reacting well.

She doesn’t get fired either. Actually, the suits decide she and Hunter now have to be a fake couple (fake dating!).

You can all imagine how they ended up that night… in his room. Yes, eventually. Before that there was some action on the back of a truck that was large enough for Kenny to pace (yes, I’m calling her Kenny from now on. Much like Hunter)

I’m going to stop in here and start with some bullet points because I think you get the idea.

The smut was subpar… he uses a rosary and she’s thinking more of that than what is happening in the bad. It’s a rosary, he uses it as a necklace, move on. We don’t care about the worn out walnut beads or the details of the crucifix… really, no.

He gives her six orgasms in one night. Manaconda can deliver. Point for Hunter.

Then he takes her to a breakfast buffet and tells her they had good coffee there. I have to put a stop in here. I can deal with unrealistic smut but this is too much. No breakfast buffet has decent coffee. Not unless they have a state of the art espresso machine and a well-trained barista. Let’s not lie to the people like that

The book is told in alternating first person PoV and it’s co-written. You can tell the difference in styles and it kind of makes sense if we think there are two different people, but is a rollercoaster.

The brother shows up. I’m immediately drawn to Liam Noah. His description only fuels for me to like him more. His first words to Kennedy make me want to go down on him on the spot.

Hunter and Kenny are a hot mess… they fuck and then they fight because he wants more and yet cannot deal with Bats maybe dating his ex (intro backstory drama of the cheating ex)

Kenny refuses to come second to anyone (intro backstory of her father having another family and her being a cast off) and that is why she’s a career woman, so she doesn’t end up crying over a man like her momma,

Hunter volunteers for a charity that helps people adopt dogs. He had several. Hunter is ready to settle down and he wants Kenny to play home with him and the dogs. Kenny is still figuring out how to get out of the tight professional clothes she wears

Kenny has an assistant called Carter. Carter wants to have a threesome with his girlfriend Felicity and Hunter’s brother bc Noah is that hot. I love Carter. Me too, Carter, me too.

Hunter and Bats engage in not one, but two fights in the span of three days and both times they end up with the cops. Funny enough Kennedy “you can’t call me Kenny but here’s my cop friend Remy who’s totally into me and let him call me Ken and I hug him” pulls some strings to get him off the hook. Him, not poor Bats who’s never given the chance to tell his side of the story. Neither does Vic, tho. She’s been labeled the bitch villain of the book.

Hunter then realizes he has to fight for Kenny, bc Noah makes him realize what is important after telling him he’s a good for nothing. I really don't understand why this book is not about Noah. He’d be a lot more fun than Hunter. He probably has the same equipment and none of the cock angst.

Hunter convinces Carter to let him into Kenny’s place and gets Tristan to cook for her. I like Tristan, he can slice vegetables while flirting… somehow Kenny still only has eyes for the Manaconda.

We gotta give props to Hunter for romancing the hell out of Kenny with pictures he takes while on tour framed in glass and little notes underneath, lovely texts and a plain old move out of Say Anything that almost bumped him with Noah’s on top of the list. Almost. Like I said, Noah still wins. A lot less baggage and a lot more game if you ask me (he works security and is an ex-Army. Go Noah. Come to mamma)

The words cock and dick are used as interchangeable... this is not good. is either one or the other... and it should be cock. I can’t with dick... it is used as an insult; so if a dick is an idiot, a dick cannot be a wonderful specimen of a male organ

You know your novel has a problem when people are more engaged with your secondary characters than your main ones. That is not a bad thing per se if you are laying out the ground for the series (These things are always a series) but sadly, there are no books planned for Noah, Tristan or Bats. Next books are about Keys, Wyatt and Irish Guy.

Kennedy has a weird fixation on wood. The rosary makes another appearance.

“Pound” is used several times in the book, so much that I want to have a drinking game over it.

I still want to know what the fuck is going on with Bats and Vic.

Noah needs his own book.

All in all, at the end of the day, Hunter Jordan was just a guy with a huge bulge on his pants and a pack of adopted dogs, standing in front of a girl career woman, asking her to love him (and not just his manaconda).

#manaconda #book reviews #this was one hell of a ride

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