#his kindness and silliness are not a weakness thank you and goodnight (good afternoon) (it’s 2pm)

[soullessjack]

sorry but the idea that jack can’t handle scary things is just so. What show are you fucking watching. jack isn’t shaking like a leaf or covering his face with a blanket when something mildly spooky happens on tv. he’s in the backseat making shrunken heads kiss and chanting “road trip” when they go to hell or investigate some abandoned building full of ritual kill corpses. he’s like dipper and mabel pines fused into a single silly monster-obsessed-dork entity

[huphilpuffs]

flares

chapter: 30/? summary: Dan’s body has been broken for as long as he can remember, and he’s long since learned to deal with it. Sort of. But when his symptoms force him to leave uni and move into a new flat with a stranger named Phil, he finds that ignoring the pain isn’t the way to make himself happy. word count: 4760 rating: mature warnings: chronic illness, chronic pain, medicine a/n: As always, immense thanks to @obsessivelymoody for beta’ing!

Ao3 link || read from beginning

It’s too early when Phil gets out of bed to get ready for work.

His arm slips from around Dan’s waist. He presses a quick kiss to Dan’s shoulder before crawling out from behind him. The alarm clock on the bedside table tells Dan it’s just past seven in bright red lines that make his eyes burn. 

He’s been staring at them since they said 5:27.

He’d woken up to a sharp breath that made his chest ache, tears in his eyes and sticky on his cheeks. His feet were numb and his hands all prickly with sleep and he’d stared into the black of Phil’s bedroom for long minutes waiting for his body to recover from whatever it was that woke him up. It had taken him until two to fall asleep last night.

Dan didn’t fall asleep again.

His legs ache now that they’re not sleepy. His arm hurts from having his weight on it for so long. Without Phil’s body holding him up, Dan rolls onto his side. It makes the muscles in his chest spasm, has him choking on nothing and groaning into the silence.

Phil comes over to the edge of the bed, reaching out to brush his fingers across Dan’s forehead.

“You okay?” he whispers. 

Dan’s eyes get teary again. He blames the too-tight feeling wrapped around his heart, the thoughts that have been circling the back of his mind for the last two hours. His body hurts from not having slept and his brain keeps telling him that his mum was right, it is all his brain’s fault, that’s what Dr. Kissel will tell him today.

He reaches up, snags Phil’s hand to hold on tight, and hums something that isn’t quite affirmative.

It’s the best he can muster this morning.

A frown draws at Phil’s mouth. He leans down, pressing a quick kiss to Dan’s forehead. And then a second one, like he doesn’t really want to pull away.

Dan doesn’t want him to. If this broken feeling wasn’t so perpetual, he might ask Phil to call in sick and stay home with him, keep him company when the drone of TV programs isn’t enough to keep him out of his own head. But Phil’s done a lot. Dan’s needed a lot.

He hopes that’ll diminish today. 

Hope’s never been his strong suit before doctor’s appointments.

He tugs on Phil’s hand until he leans down, fringe tickling Dan’s brow, and kisses him, soft and gentle and slow.

And then he lets Phil go.

---

Dan: i hate weekdays

Phil doesn’t respond. Not that he should. Dan knows he probably has to do extra since he’s leaving early to come to Dan’s appointment. That doesn’t keep him from flicking his phone on and off over and over again for too many minutes after he sends the message.

It’s been a long morning. The clock on his phone tells him it’s only half eleven and Dan almost wants to cry. 

There’s four and a half hours until his appointment. He’s been staring into space for so long his brain is starting to go numb and yet there’s too much going on inside his mind to focus on anything else.

He’d considered sitting down, rambling into the void, also known as his laptop webcam, again. It helped last time. But it feels almost silly, when he’s by himself, without Phil to recommend he do it. That, and the idea of setting any of it up sounds like way too much effort today.

He double taps the screen, copies the message and sends the exact same thing to Taylor.

His phone vibrates when she responds. It stings the skin of his palm, feels like it rattles the bones in his wrists. He doesn’t much care.

Taylor: why?

Dan: phil’s not home

Dan: and my appts this afternoon and i cant stop thinking about it

He swallows, looking back up to stare at the TV. He’s definitely seen this episode of Doctor Who before, probably on another day like today, watching the endless marathons of the same few shows for hours on end when his body doesn’t really let him do much else.

His brain can’t process it today. It’s too busy replaying every appointment he’s ever had in the most painful sort of slow motion.

Taylor: :(

Taylor: i know that feeling

Dan: yea well it sucks

He rests his phone on his leg, where the pressure makes a dull ache bloom like a new bruise. His thumb hovers over the home button until the three little dots of Taylor’s typing pop onto the screen. He watches, because it’s better than staring at white walls and waiting for minutes to tick by.

Taylor: want some company? 

Taylor: I know i’m not phil but I also don’t have a job

Dan: pls

---

He has to stand up to let her into the flat.

His steps are slow. The blanket he has wrapped around his shoulders flutters over his skin and leaves phantom burns in its wake. His hand almost feels too weak to turn the doorknob when he gets there. There’s a stabbing pain in his wrist that makes it feel like it might shatter as it twists.

Taylor’s smiling on the other side. It falters, just slightly, when she sees him.

“I’d hug you hello, but you look like you’re dying,” she says. 

Dan manages half, or maybe a quarter of a smile. “Feel like it too.”

He leads her back to the sofa, still limping. Walking past the breakfast bar reminds him he hasn’t had anything to eat today, and barely a few sips of water to drink. The thought makes his stomach churn, something burning at the back of his throat. He won’t eat until after the appointment.

Maybe later, if it goes poorly.

Probably later.

Taylor tucks herself against the armrest as Dan sits down, knees drawn up to her chest, face pressed against one. Being sat with her, like this, reminds him of being back in uni. Except she looks better. There’s less darkness under her eyes and less oil in her hair, and Dan wishes he could relate.

His whole body feels heavy. Worse than it did even then.

“That bad, huh?” says Taylor. 

“Can’t sleep,” says Dan. “I don’t know what to expect.”

“So you’re expecting the worst?”

He can’t be bothered to nod. The corner of Taylor’s mouth quirks up knowingly, and she reaches out to rest a hand right by Dan’s knee, without touching. 

“We should talk about something else,” she says. “Something happy. Keep your mind off it for a while.”

“Like what?”

She shrugs. “Just tell me something good that happened? My therapist makes me do it sometimes.”

“Oh,” says Dan. He stares down at the table, where his phone’s resting, screen down, and his laptop’s closed. His hand curls tight around his blanket. 

When he looks back up at Taylor, her brow’s furrowed, smile fallen into a straight line. “You look like you’re thinking about something,” she says.

“I am,” Dan mumbles. He swallows, thumb sweeping across the fleece of his blanket until his fingertip’s gone tingly. “Phil kissed me.”

Taylor’s jaw drops. Her eyes go happy. She reaches over, actually touches Dan this time, just enough to grab his hand and squeeze it once in glee. “Oh my god. That’s, like, the best kind of happy,” she says. “It is happy, right?”

Dan wants to point out that he wouldn’t have mentioned it if it wasn’t, but the smile on her face finally has his anxiety unfurling just enough for him to breathe a little easier. Maybe Taylor’s therapist actually has some useful ideas. 

He forces himself not to follow that thought to the next, the ones saying maybe all he needs is therapy over and over again in his mum’s voice in the back of his head.

“Yeah, it’s happy,” he says. “You know that.”

“And you’re not having some sexuality crisis you need me to talk you through?” she says, half laughing now. “I’ve been there. I can try to help.”

Dan actually manages half a chuckle, like he did when she first told him she liked girls, halfway through a complaint about how everyone at uni somehow had a love life except them. “Reckon I got over that when he started kissing my head all the time,” he says. “Thanks for the offer though.”

She nods, still holding his hand, staring at the side of his face with a smile. “So this is just happy, right? No inner turmoil about what it means or anything?”

It’s been so long since Dan’s had anything be that simple that his brain doesn’t quite grasp the concept. He almost tells her no, just because it makes more sense, because his brain is really good at finding problems where there’s probably non right now. 

It doesn’t feel like he can be just happy now.

But then he thinks about the soft goodnight kiss Phil brushed against his lips before they went to bed to bed last night, and an actual smile cracks past the fear. 

“Yeah,” he tells her. “That’s just happy.”

---

They talk about Phil for a while.

It’s easy, with Taylor, to just ramble about sleepy cuddles and soft kisses and the way it all makes him feel good for the first time in ages. It reminds Dan of being twelve again, before everything went wrong and his body broke and any chance at normalcy crumbled before his very eyes. 

Maybe there is room for a sexuality crisis, if he thinks too hard about the crushes he might have had if he’d been healthy.

Dan doesn’t think about it. He lets his head fall back against the sofa and feels his thoughts lapse into everything that came after age twelve. His story about their kiss ended a bit ago, faded into discussions about where he wants things to go from here, and then into silence.

There’s a lot of things Dan wants now. Most of them have nothing to do with kissing Phil.

“Hey,” says Taylor. He’s not sure how long they’ve just been sitting here, but her smile has fallen into a frown. “You okay?”

He shrugs. Vaguely, he processes that people are still talking on the TV, that Taylor’s hand has fallen to rest on his knee. “Just thinking.”

“Not about happy things?”

His chest burns when he chuckles. The rush of giddy conversation has faded, left Dan’s body more exhausted now than it was before. He almost wants to nap, except he knows his brain wouldn’t let him. Days like today are just days where he’s meant to be sore and tired and feel all of it acutely.

“No,” he says. “Not about happy things.”

Taylor squeezes his knee. It hurts. It’s comforting anyway. 

“Do you want me to try and distract you with more happy things?”

“Don’t think you can,” he admits. “I think I’ve used up all my happy energy for today.”

His head falls back again, gaze drifting up to the ceiling. His vision goes blurry. It’s not from tears. Dan’s pretty sure his eyes are just tired, too. It takes too much energy to force them to focus again.

He takes a breath. It hurts his throat, his head being bent back like this, and tugs at the tendons in his neck. 

“I don’t think it’s going to be a happy day,” he whispers, voice cracking “I’m–”

Scared. He doesn’t say it. 

“I know,” says Taylor.

They sit there, listening to the same drawl that Dan usually does. His eyes have fallen closed. He can hear his own breathing, loud compared to Taylor’s, but he doesn’t much care to worry about it. Taylor’s never been bothered by the little ways Dan’s body is different.

She just leans forward, snagging the remote from where it was sitting on the coffee table, and says, “Let’s put on a better film, at least.”

If Dan had the energy, he’d smile.

---

Phil gets home from work earlier than Dan expected.

“I worked my lunch,” he explains. “And my boss deemed me completely useless today. Apparently I was distracted.”

He’s sitting on the armrest, leaning over Dan. Whatever lighthearted smile he’s attempting lasts about half a second before it falls. His hand lands on Dan’s head, drawing his curls back. Taylor’s still sitting next to them, but Phil hardly hesitates before leaning down to press a kiss to the corner of Dan’s brow.

“Wonder why,” says Taylor. It’s a whisper, like she’s trying not to interrupt. “I should get going, though. I’m sure you guys have to get ready or some shit.”

Dan almost asks her to stay, just so he has an excuse to pretend that three thirty isn’t slowly sneaking up on him.

“Thanks for coming over,” says Phil.

“Yeah, of course.”

Dan can hear her smile, can see Phil’s. It makes his chest go warm. 

Taylor looks down at him before she leaves. “Good luck,” she says. “Text me when you’re ready to talk about whatever the doctor has to say.”

“I will,” says Dan. He hopes his smile is enough to tell her how much he appreciates the space she permits him.

Phil escorts her to the door. They hug before she leaves. Dan hears the murmur of her voice, too far for him to pick up on any words. He listens to the door open, then close, and then Phil returns by himself, dropping into the seat Taylor was just occupying.

Dan should probably feel bad for how relieved he is that Phil’s here now, but he doesn’t, not really.

His head falls back against the cushions, too, turned so he’s looking at Dan. He looks exhausted, eyes puffy and face all drawn. 

“How are you feeling?” he asks.

“Shit,” says Dan. “You?”

“Scared,” Phil whispers.

Dan nods, awkward and crooked with his head still tilted back. He reaches into the space between them, taking Phil’s hand in his. Their fingers interlock, and the pressure against his knuckles is not very comfortable, but it makes the corner of Phil’s mouth quirk up.

“Yeah,” says Dan. “Me too.”

---

They get to the doctor’s office early.

Sitting at home, waiting for the minutes to tick by, had become unbearable. Dan forgot that waiting rooms are always exponentially worse. Phil’s arm isn’t wrapped around him here. They don’t hold hands. Their feet are pressed together between their seats. It’s not enough.

Across from them, a mum is rocking her baby as he fusses. And older man is reading one of the magazines left out for them. Phil had tried to pick one up, and had put it down about thirty seconds later. The secretary who booked this appointment is talking on the phone. The other is checking someone in.

There’s a poster about heart failure on the wall. 

Dan stares at it until his chest starts to hurt and the anxiety makes his eyes water.

Phil grabs his hand, holds on tight.

“Your heart's fine,” he says. “You’ve had that tested before, right?”

“Yeah.” Dan lets out a breath. “Yeah. It was fine.”

“Okay,” says Phil. “Okay. That’s good.”

His grip on Dan’s hand loosens, his breath coming easier. 

Dan’s stays locked painfully between his ribs until a nurse steps out from the hallway and calls his name.

---

She checks his height, even though he hasn’t grown in over a year. And then his weight, as though it’s fluctuated much since his last growth spurt, since he lost his appetite and ability to exercise all at once. 

“Looks good,” she says, like she thinks that’s what Dan cares about.

She leads him into a little room and asks him questions, the familiar kind with automatic answers. No, he’s not diabetic. No, he doesn’t smoke. No, he hasn’t had caffeine in the last couple hours, because just the thought of putting something on his stomach makes him want to be sick.

He doesn’t say that last bit.

She wraps the blood pressure cuff around his arm. Dan squeezes his eyes shut against the pain when it tightens. He should be used to it. Part of him doesn’t think he’ll ever be.

His pulse is high, his blood pressure low. The nurse points it out.

“It’s always like that,” he explains.

She looks back at him, brows furrowed, skeptical. Dan hates it. He manages a shrug and a smile, an unspoken apology for something stupidly out of his control like his heart not beating quite right. 

He tries not to think about chronic obstructive heart failure.

The nurse jots something down on her triage paper and leads him into an exam room to sit and wait some more. Phil grabs his hand again the moment she closes the door behind her.

---

Dr. Kissel is smiling when she walks in. Dan’s not sure if that’s supposed to be comforting or not.

“How are you doing today?” she asks as she sits down, turning to log into the computer.

“Uh,” says Dan. “As okay as to be expected?”

She hums, turning back to him in her spinny office chair. The collar of her lab coat is popped awkwardly at one side. There’s a pen hanging from its pocket, a stethoscope draped across her shoulders. Her smile hardly falters as she says, “So, not very well at all, I assume?” 

It’s so not what Dan expected that he chuckles. “Yeah, pretty much.”

“I take it you want to get straight to your test results, then?” says Dr. Kissel.

He swallows hard. If the nurse thought his pulse was high before, he’d half laugh at what she’d have to say now. “Please.”

Dr. Kissel turns back to her computer at that. He watches her click through what he vaguely recognizes as his chart. Just above the notes from his last appointment are the last things his old doctor ever wrote about him, at the appointment where he counted Dan’s tests one by one and told him that if they were all fine there was nothing he could do unless Dan was willing to accept he was imagining it all.

Dan doesn’t read them, doesn’t want to. He never wants to be exposed to those words again.

He watches Dr. Kissel click on a link of some kind, and a monochrome image fills her computer screen. It takes him a second to realize he’s staring at his own brain, at the results from his MRI, autoplaying on a loop through his entire head over and over again.

Something in his chest spasms. Phil squeezes his hand. He never let it go.

“Okay, so first we have your MRI, which are the results I was most concerned about,” says Dr. Kissel. She turns back towards him, grabbing her pen to use it as a pointer. “If there was any signs of deterioration or abnormal structures like a tumour or aneurysm, we’d see it here.”

Dan stares. He can’t really see anything in his brain. He doesn’t know what a sign of deterioration looks like. He almost doesn’t want to ask.

He doesn’t have to, because Phil says, “And?”

“And I see no signs of any abnormalities with your brain,” says Dr. Kissel. “Your brain appears healthy, Dan.”

“Oh,” he says. 

His eyes are burning now. He hates the fact that it’s not from relief, that he doesn’t really know what’s welling in his chest, putting pressure in his skull, but it doesn’t feel good when he knows it should.

“What about the, uh, bloodwork?”

She doesn’t open those results, just leaves the screen playing a morbid cycle of his perfectly healthy brain. 

Dr. Kissel smiles, and says, “Those results also came back normal.”

Dan just about breaks down right there in the middle of her office. A tear falls down his cheek. His leg starts shaking. Phil has to reach out and rest a hand on his back just to keep him from giving up on keeping his breathing even at all.

Dr. Kissel reaches out, rests her hand on the armrest, close to Dan’s elbow.

“That doesn’t mean anything, you know,” she says. Her voice has gone soft. Dan’s never had a doctor, not even a therapist, speak to him like that. “I reviewed your medical history and I’m aware of the conclusions drawn by your past physician. That’s not where I’m going with this.”

“It’s not?” says Dan. It sounds choked. He feels like a kid. 

Except when he was a kid he didn’t have to deal with any of this.

“It’s not,” says Dr. Kissel. “Rather, I suspect you might have a condition that doesn’t show up on any of our current tests, at least not to our knowledge. Ruling out other conditions is the first step to diagnosing it.”

Phil’s hand starts rubbing circles against his spine at that. If Dan looked over, he’s pretty sure Phil would be smiling.

But he doesn’t. He can’t look away from Dr. Kissel, not now. “What’s the next step?” he whispers.

“Well, there’s two. The diagnostic criteria is in the process of evolving, so I’d like to perform both,” she says. “One of them might be painful.”

“Can we do that one first?”

It’s probably the wrong order to want. Dan doesn’t care. Part of him wants the pain to remind him that she’s actually looking for something physical. For once. For the first fucking time in seven years. 

Dr. Kissel smiles like she knows that and nods her head just once. “I’ll need you to stand up for this,” she says. “I’m going to press against specific spots on your body, and you need to tell me if it hurts, okay?”

He nods. His heart’s still racing when he stands. His legs feel weak with something other than exhaustion. 

Something almost thrilling, like anticipation.

Dr. Kissel starts by pressing her thumb against the base of his skull, right where his head meets his neck. Dan almost screams at the burst of pain it causes. 

It turns into a laugh, delirious and bubbly and out of control. When he turns, Phil’s smiling at him. Dr. Kissel is staring at him expectantly. 

“Yeah, that hurts,” he says, so she does the same thing to the other side of his head.

He laughs again, because it hurts and it feels like that’s what it’s supposed to do for whatever mystery illness Dr. Kissel’s testing him for. Phil laughs with him. He’s probably confused, but he doesn’t seem to care. Dr. Kissel moves onto the next spot, right where Dan’s neck meets his shoulder, and mumbles a quiet three under her breath when he squirms away from her touch.

In the end, he gets sixteen out of eighteen spots. Dr. Kissel tells him the minimum for a diagnosis is eleven. 

Dan probably shouldn’t be proud of that.

He settles back into his seat. The pressure of it hurts. Pain has bloomed all across his body and Dr. Kissel offered an apology that it would probably take a little while to fade and Dan doesn’t care. His leg bounces even though there was a spot in his hip that almost made it give out completely. 

His knee stings from when she pressed there. Dan rests his hand there anyway.

“What’s next?” he asks. He probably sounds insane.

Dr. Kissel just reaches over and draws a packet of papers from her folders. She sets it down on the desk by him. The front page has a picture of a gender-non-specific person with arms spread and eyes closed. The top of it has a header that reads Fibromyalgia Diagnostic Criteria. 

Dan has no idea what that means.

“You just need to fill out this assessment,” says Dr. Kissel. And then, “I told you this one would be less painful.”

Phil chuckles. Dan does, too. He grabs the pen she offers him and starts reading.

The first question asks him to check off every area of the body where he’s had pain in the last week. Dan reads the list once, twice, three times before looking up at Dr. Kissel. 

“Is it stupid of me to check off all of them?”

“Not if it’s the truth,” she says. “That’s a very common response for people with this condition.”

“Oh,” says Dan. Something twists in his stomach at being included in that. “Okay.”

So he checks off all of them, his shoulders and arms and upper and lower back, and jaw and neck and chest and legs and buttocks. The only thing that goes unchecked in the last option that reads None of the above . Dan’s brain can’t even wrap around that idea.

The second question is called the Symptom Severity Score. It asks Dan to rate some symptoms on a scale of zero to three. It feels like a failure when he needs to check the box next to 1: slight or mild problems when it comes to cognitive symptoms. 

Dan’s pretty sure that part of his brain is the only part of him that still works properly. Most of the time.

The last question is just a list of symptoms that tells him to check off all the ones he’s had in the last week. He has to ask what some are. Some are things he has but never really thought were related. His gaze lingers on the word seizures for the first time, printed on a list that includes rashes and dry eyes.

It’s the first thing that’s really scared him. That box stays unchecked. He wonders how much it matters.

When he hands the test back to Dr. Kissel, she’s already nodding like she knows the answer it’ll contain. Dan’s pretty sure he does, too.

She writes a giant 28 in blue pen at the bottom of the page, and looks up at him with a sad sort of smile. 

“Okay, this confirms my suspicions,” she says. “Your symptoms appear to be caused by Fibromyalgia.”

Dan swallows, bobs his head. “Okay. Okay,” he says. “Uh, what does that mean?”

---

His legs feel different when he walks outside. Maybe because they still ache from the pressure point test she did, or because there’s a residual tingling from how much he was shaking during the appointment. Except the rest of Dan’s body feels different too.

The sunlight burns his tired eyes. Holding his head up takes too much energy. They stand on the curb waiting for their cab to show up and Dan’s chest aches and yet feels lighter than it has in days.

Weeks. Years, probably.

Dr. Kissel explained to him what it was, with a bunch of fancy medical terms he’ll need to google later. Something called central sensitization means his brain is fucked up and doesn’t know how to process shit and makes everything hurt and it fits so very well with how his body seems to experience the word that Dan doesn’t care that he doesn’t understand. 

He doesn’t know much right now. She recommended lifestyle changes as a first step and he has no idea what that’s going to entail. He doesn’t know what meds he might end up on, or how much better he’ll get. Dr. Kissel told him this was usually a life-long condition.

Dan feels like that should be terrifying. Except he’s grown to expect that whatever it was wouldn’t be an easy fix. 

He’s not dying, though. She told him that a few times, like reassurance among all the supposed-to-be-bad news. 

His weak legs sway under him after standing for too long. Phil reaches out to wrap an arm around his waist, pulling him close so Dan can lean against the steadiness of his frame. He doesn’t seem scared anymore. Maybe he will be again, once everything’s had time to sink in.

Phil leans in close, pressing his nose to the side of Dan’s head. “How are you feeling?”

Maybe Dan will be scared again, too. But he’s really not right now.

“Can I say something crazy?” he asks. 

“Go ahead.”

He pulls back, just enough to catch Phil’s gaze with his own, and says, “I think this is one of the best days of my life.”

Phil doesn’t look at him like he’s crazy. He smiles, and leans forward to press a kiss to Dan’s forehead, and holds him even tighter when his legs start to feel weak again.

The cab that pulls up looks just like the one that drove them here. Dan climbs into the back seat next to Phil, letting his head fall against the headrest, and feels himself smiling. 

[madam-lit-nerd]

The Apocalypse AU, Pt. 3

Previous | Next

Dean poked his head into the playroom, a fond smile crossing his face when he saw Cas passed out in the rocking chair. He stepped up beside the sleeping omega.

“Cas.” 

Cas groaned in complaint and turned his head away. Dean, although tempted to touch that dark hair, reached down to shake his shoulder. 

“Wake up, Cas.” 

“No,” the omega grumbled. “I’m napping.” 

“You’re missing dinner is what you’re doing,” Dean responded easily. 

Cas’s eyes flew open as he looked up at Dean. “What time is it?” 

“Past seven, now.” 

With another groan, Castiel dropped his face into his hands and rubbed at his eyes. “I’m so sorry!” 

“Don’t be,” Dean chided. “I brought you a plate.” He brought the food around for Cas to see, and the omega let out a happy sigh. 

“Thank goodness!” 

He grabbed the plate from Dean and began to shove food into his mouth. 

“You happy I woke you up now?” 

Castiel hummed and nodded, then paused to glare up at the alpha. “But this is the only good reason to wake me!” 

Dean chuckled as he settled on the floor across from Cas’s chair. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

When Cas had finished up his plate, he set the dish aside and leaned back contentedly. “Ellen is such a good cook.” 

“Yep, always has been,” Dean confirmed as he leaned back on his hands. 

Castiel’s head tilted to the side, his expression curious. “You’ve known her since...since before?”

Dean nodded. “She practically raised me and Sammy.” 

Castiel seemed indecisive, like he wanted to ask more but was afraid of overstepping. Dean knew what he was going to ask anyways. 

“My mom died when Sammy was just a baby,” he explained. “House fire.” 

Castiel nodded sadly. 

“And Dad...he couldn’t handle it. Drowned himself in the bottom of a bottle by the time I was ten.” He shrugged. “Ellen took us in.”

“I’m so sorry,” Cas murmured. 

Dean jerked his head toward Cas. “What about your parents?” 

Castiel blushed, looked away. “They, uh...they disowned me ages ago.” 

Dean tried to keep his expression neutral, but his mind was whirling. What could sweet, kind Castiel have done to deserve such drastic action? 

“Did you...” Dean hedged, “murder someone?” 

Castiel let out a weak chuckle. “No, no...” he wouldn’t quite meet Dean’s eyes. “They just...they didn’t approve of my relationship with Michael. We weren’t, uh...” he toyed with the hem of his maternity blouse. “We weren’t true mates.” 

Dean frowned. “What was it to them? That true mates stuff ends up being complete bullshit most of the time.”

Castiel’s eyes shot up to meet Dean’s, his expression soft and grateful. “That’s what he used to always say, too.” 

Dean smiled warmly. “Sounds like a pretty smart guy.” 

Cas nodded, his throat thick. 

—

Later that week, Castiel walked into dinner refreshed from an afternoon nap, only to pause in confusion. There, in his usual spot at the kids’ table across from Dean, sat Anna. Cassie sat at a nearby table with Sam and his mate Eileen, glowering across the aisle at them and the domestic little picture they presented. 

Castiel walked up to the table and petted Kaiden’s hair to greet him. The pup immediately hid his face against Castiel’s belly. 

“Cas!” Amy yelled. “I told her this was your seat, but—”

“Stop being so bossy!” Brian grumbled from beside her. 

“Amy, there’s always room for a couple more people at our table,” Cas reminded her. “It’s not very kind to say things like that. I’ll just sit next to Leah tonight.” 

“But...but...” Amy let out a long, defeated breath. “Okay.”

“Don’t forget,” Castiel reminded as he ruffled her hair teasingly. “I was the one who was late for dinner.” “Is everything okay?” Dean spoke up. 

Castiel smiled at him. “Of course! It’s just the baby.” 

“Babies make mommas tired,” Leah quoted. 

“They sure do,” Cas nodded at her. 

“Well here,” Dean jumped up. “Have a seat, I’ll grab your food.”

As Castiel settled in beside Leah, he smiled across at Anna. “How were things in the infirmary today?” 

She returned his smile, but it seemed tight. “Pretty good. Only a few hurt fingers and tummy aches.” 

“No news is good news, right?” Cas teased before turning to Micah on Leah’s other side. “Can I cut up your hot dog for you?” 

The child gratefully pushed his plate toward Castiel and watched as the omega broke the food down into manageable bites. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize,” Anna mumbled, heat flooding her cheeks. Castiel smiled at her encouragingly. 

“Honestly it’s just practice. Lots and lots of practice.” 

“You’re going to be a great parent,” she blurted out, then seemed embarrassed by her own assumption. 

“I certainly hope so,” Cas muttered as he handed the plate back to Micah. 

Dean returned to the table with Cas’s plate and set it down gently in front of him. “There you go.” He leaned down to speak softly in Cas’s ear. “I asked Ellen to sneak you an extra portion.” 

Cas kept his eyes on his plate, concentrated on maintaining his usual expression despite the million butterflies that rose up in his stomach at Dean’s nearness. 

“Thank you,” he murmured back before tucking into his food. 

When he finally dared to glance back up, he found Anna studying him, her eyes narrowed. Oh no, had she seen? She had to know, right? Cas tried for a weak smile before he returned his eyes to his plate, desperate to escape the other omega’s scrutiny. 

He spent the rest of the meal with his eyes on his food, only distantly listening to Dean chatter about how well the plans for the basement were coming along. 

—

Now that Anna was joining them for dinner, Cas knew that Cassie would find some way to fight back, to push her way in with Dean again. It was only a few nights later, as Castiel guided his six toward the bathroom so they could wash up before bedtime, that Castiel learned her plan. 

As usual, the children’s chatter was peppered with random comments and questions that ranged from “I like macaroni the bestest,” to “What if your baby has too many toes?” 

Tonight’s question, which came from Ginny (who usually remained quiet), was “Why is she going into Dean’s room?”

Castiel glanced up just in time to see Cassie slipping through Dean’s door. He felt his stomach drop, his heart shrivel in his chest. Almost distantly he heard the door click shut and the lock slide into place. It was one of the more painful sounds he’d ever heard, and that was considering that he still regularly had nightmares about Michael’s final, labored breaths. 

Now it seemed almost silly, the decision he’d made a few days before to keep his feelings hidden. Even if he were to try offer them up to Dean, the alpha wouldn’t take them. Oh, he’d be kind about it, sure, but it was obvious that his interest lay elsewhere. 

Hurrying the children forward, Castiel smiled down at Ginny, although he could feel how false it was across his lips. She’d used her sparse words to ask a question, and he needed to answer or risk her pulling even further inside herself again. “I think she needs to ask him a question.” 

The girl seemed to accept his answer, nodded, and followed the others as they filed past Dean’s closed bedroom door toward the bathroom.

Once Cas ensured that they’d all brushed their teeth and washed their faces, he allowed them to say goodnight to the children who were there with their own families before herding them back out into the hallway. 

As they neared Dean’s room, Cas kept his eyes downward, focused on the children. He didn’t want to see that closed door, didn’t want to think about what was happening inside. 

What he hadn’t expected was for Micah to shout “Dean!” and run ahead. Castiel’s head shot up to find Dean’s door wide open and Dean himself lounging in the doorway in his pajamas. Had Cassie needed to use the restroom or forgotten something in her room?

“Hey, man! You all ready for bedtime?” Dean asked as he scooped Micah up in a bear hug. 

The young boy giggled and began squishing Dean’s cheeks between his pudgy hands. The others rushed forward to crowd around Dean, leaving Castiel to hang back uncertainly. 

Cas’s heart swelled at the sight of Dean, wonderful and handsome and unattainable as ever, being so kind and genuine with the children. 

“Did Cassie get to ask you her question?” Ginny spoke up. 

Dean’s brow furrowed. “What?” 

“We saw her going into your room earlier,” Micah hastened to share the important news. “And Cas said she probably had to ask you a question.” 

—

Dean looked up at Cas, but the omega wouldn’t meet his eyes. Oh no...no, no, no. Of course Cas would’ve seen that. 

Dean cleared his throat, licked his lips, then spoke slowly, measuring his words for the children’s sake. 

“She came looking for something, but I couldn’t—I didn’t have it. Not for her.” 

Castiel’s eyes finally lifted to meet Dean’s, and the alpha let out a sigh of relief at the understanding he found there. 

“Here, let’s get you all to bed,” he declared, still holding Micah firmly. The sooner they got the kids into bed, the sooner he could talk to Cas, set things straight. 

He led the group down the hall, listened to the children’s inane chatter and occasionally supplied a response, but his senses remained alert on the silent omega beside him. 

When they reached the children’s room, Dean watched as Castiel led the children through their nightly routine—climb under the covers, a goodnight kiss on each forehead, a shared memory from the day, and then Castiel was shutting off the light and stepping out into the hallway with Dean, finally alone. 

Dean smiled warmly and inclined his head toward the bedroom door. “It’s amazing, how well you handle them.”

Castiel blushed and glanced down at the floor. “It’s nothing, when you’re used to it.”

Dean shuffled closer. “It’s not nothing, not to me. Not to their parents and families, wherever they ended up. What you’ve done, the way you’ve stepped in...” Dean sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “It’s not nothing, Cas.” 

“Thank you,” Cas murmured. 

“And uh...about Cassie.” Dean could see Cas tense, but he had to get this out there. “She came into my room, yes,” he shook his head. “Caught me by surprise. But I told her very clearly that I’m not interested in her. There’s someone else—another omega—I’ve fallen for.”

“I understand,” Cas assured him, still not meeting his gaze. “I think that you and Anna will make a lovely couple.” 

Dean’s brow furrowed as a confused frown tugged his mouth downward. “Anna? Who said anything ab—?” 

“Dean!” 

Castiel looked past the alpha to where Sam sprinted toward them. Slamming to a halt, the beta bent over with his hands on his knees, catching his breath. 

“Down in the basement; you gotta come see!”

The door to the children’s room clicked open and Brian poked his head out. “What’s happening?”

“I’m not sure, Sweetie,” Castiel murmured, allowing the boy to plaster himself to his side. “Dean will find out for us.” 

Dean looked up from where he’d been whispering with Sam.

“It’s nothing too bad,” he assured them as he stepped forward to ruffle the young boy’s hair. “But Cas, we need to ta—.” 

“Let’s go, Dean!” Sam called from the end of the hall. 

“I’ll be right back,” Dean promised. “Maybe just...stay with the kids for a few?”

Nodding somberly, Castiel ushered Brian back into the bedroom and locked the door behind them. The other children, all roused by the noise outside, were sitting up in their beds. 

Castiel settled himself on Brian’s empty lower bunk, then patted the mattress beside him. Immediately the children clambered from their beds and dog piled around him. 

Castiel laid a hand on Ginny’s arm. “Will you please get Kaiden out for me?” 

Ginny nodded mutely and moved to retrieve the whimpering pup from his crib. As soon as she had him within reach of Castiel, the baby made a desperate lunge for the omega. 

“Is it the monsters?” Leah whispered into the silence that fell over them. 

“I don’t know,” Castiel admitted, but he repeated his earlier promise: “Dean will take care of it.” 

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4

And here’s yet another update to the Apocalypse AU. It ended up being split into 4 posts, so there’s one more on the way!

[mrneighbourlove]

Filling the Emptiness: Ch 5. Coming Together

“Ms. Ingo. Please take a seat.”

Sunny Ingo had been waiting a while now outside on a bench. Her father had gone inside and made his case to their benefactors that she was not only ideal, but the perfect person to take on the mantle and responsibility of running Lon Lon Milk incorporated. Sunny groomed herself and dedicated her life to running the ranch effectively.

Leere’s family looked into her background, and the King and Queen themselves made recommendations for her. Sunny felt so grateful, but also a huge amount of weight on her shoulders for this meeting to go well. She wore a formal dress, but nothing like the royals had. It was more casual, but the material it was made of would speak for how rich her family was. She also straightened her hair and applied makeup as well as darkener to her eyebrows to look more appealing to the men. Sunny didn’t mind flaunting wealth on rare occasions. She and her family poured their full will and strength into their business to become so successful.

Entering the conference hall, Sunny gave a bow to the various men and woman who were seated. “Good afternoon everyone.”

“Good afternoon Ms. Ingo. Please take a seat.” Sunny did as she was told, finding a seat at a table. Her financial supporters sat in a half circle in front of her, taking notes the second she walked through the door. It seemed that they were judging her before she even spoke a word. The man directly in front of her had a curly mustache, and a big red bowtie. “I’m sure you’re anxious about today.”

“Not at all Mr. Burnaby.” Sunny’s thick accent pushed to battle against his own. It would be a battle of carefully chosen words, and having to never show a hint of weakness.

“Ah, well that’s good. Because we have very important matters to go over.”

“Quite, quite.” Another man, with a rounder belly, a white mustache took a sip of Lon Lon milk. “Did you make this?”

Sunny gave a smile, and a jolly chuckle. “I did. Along with the rest of my family. We follow the mantra of working smart and hard. That way everyone is happy with the best quality product ready to be distributed.”

One of the woman, Lorleidian, on the council gave a nod of approval. “A very great way of thinking Ms. Ingo. Can you tell us any changes you’d make if you were promoted to leading your families business? It is very Hylian oriented as I’ve noticed.”

“Well, it’s true that it’s a Hylian born business. Hard to keep up with everyone else Mamm. Kids rather see dragons and all the exotic critters Princess Orana gathers than horses or farm animals nowadays. And to be honest, Lorleidians are amazing at fishing and suppling other labour to the work economy. That said, I want to make something clear. I won’t pass up any work from other folks if they are looking for a modest living though. When I lead, I want to inspire everyone to work as a team. We help each other grow. I’d love to expand our product to the far reaches of Hyrule if we can maximize our work force.”

That answer seemed to register with the woman, and, with a quiet and slow nod, she made notes in her ledger. The council took a minute to talk silently amongst themselves, shooting glances back at Sunny as they came to their own conclusions. The lead man cleared his throat, speaking once more. “Ms. Ingo. We understand that you are a family business. Your father inherited the business from his father. Which your grandfather inherited it from his mother. Now, we understand that all of your siblings are married. Some even have kids.”

“That’s correct.”

“We also understand that you have a select taste in lovers that would make it difficult to continue your family line.” The man gave Sunny a deep look in the eyes that made her uncomfortable. “I’m sure someone as dedicated as you could fix that issue. Correct Ms. Ingo?”

Sunny was a little miffed, her brow giving a slight furl, but she kept her smile bright. “I can have you all rest assured, that I will find a way to continue the family line.”

The councilman stroked his mustache, thinking over her words. “We have your character references, as well as your work history regarding your efficiency. We’ll talk over our choice on the matter. Give us five minutes Ms. Ingo. Please stay where you are.”

The rancher watched as the council men and woman stood up and walked to another room to privately discuss their vote. She took a few deep breathes and thought back to her family for comfort. Her mother in particular brought her peace…

“Moma! Can I look at the telescope?”

A woman with hair as dark as space smiled down to her daughter. She named all her children after the entities of the grand beauty of the galaxy. Her first child had hair as bright as the sun. Her little Sunny. Lifting her daughter up on her lap, Phoebe tipped the telescope for her daughter to peer through. “What do you see Sunny?”

“I see stars! I love stars!”

“Stars are amazing my dear. It’s why I named you after the most important one.”

“The sun! It feeds everyone life! Its how Papa is able to run the business!”

“That’s right. But our galaxy is filled with so many wonders. Look over here.” Sunny’s mother adjusted the telescope, and showed off a few constellations to her daughter. “That’s the chariot of Apollo. And over here. The fire of Din. Some say the gods reward the best of humanity with new constellations in the sky.”

“Really?! What else is up there?”

“Well my dear, I was going to save this for tomorrow… but what the heck. You know how the crown prince and that beautiful water princess are getting married?”

“Yes! I saw glimpse of them while at the market with Papa! They look so happy!”

“Well, they’re going to be blessed by one of the crowning jewels of nature itself for their wedding tomorrow. Look at the moon Sunny. You noticed how its been slowly been growing bigger?”

“Yes? Is it gonna fall onto the Earth?”

Phoebe gave a lighthearted laugh at that. “No, no my dear. I certainly hope not. What’s happening, is that an event called an Solar Eclipse is about to take place. The moon travels directly in front of the sun, and for a small window of time, it will block it out, plunging the world in a small period of darkness.”

“That sounds scary!”

“It’ll be beautiful. I promise. It’s a day that you won’t forget. You’ll see such amazing sights.”

“Ok.” Young Sunny felt a little better at her mother’s encouragement. “Maybe we can get a meteor shower too!”

Her mother gave a giggle, bouncing her daughter on her knee. “Perhaps we might. May even be lucky for a small comet or meteorite to land in Hyrule. The really small ones are good luck if you collect them.”

“But the big ones go boom!”

“Yes they do. So let’s hope we can avoid that~” Phoebe set her daughter down and took her hand. “Now come along. You have a goodnight’s rest to attend. Let’s not keep your siblings waiting for a bed night story.”

“But I don’t want to go to bed.”

“Silly girl. When we go to sleep, that’s when we dream. And dreams lead use amongst the stars…”

That was the last good memory Sunny had of her mother. The day the sun went out, so did her mother. Sunny shook her head, dispelling the bad thoughts from creeping in on what came after. She wouldn’t let the bad end ruin everything good before hand and she couldn’t afford to cry right now. Those softer times of her mother and her astronomy made her feel safe and happy in her mind.

When the council returned, she sat straight, but relaxed thanks to her internal meditation. The man with the mustache took the lead speaking once more. “Ms. Ingo. I won’t waste anymore of your time. The board has made its vote. We are 9-7 in your favour. Some aren’t convinced, but I’m sure you can change their minds. When your father is ready, he may officially hand over the title of C.E.O to you. Congratulations Ms. Ingo.”

Sunny stood up, trying to not let the excitement get to her. She felt disturbed that, most likely, without the help of the royals, she probably wouldn’t have the job she worked so hard for. The rancher shook each and every one of their hands. “Thank you so much. I’ll prove I’m right for the job. You can be rest assured in your continued support of Lon Lon Ranch.”

“I’m sure our investments will be rewarded.”

Sunny left the board meeting, and ran to her family waiting for her. Her brothers and sisters had worn their best clothing for coming anywhere near the castle. She let relief wash over her seeing them all here. “I did it. I got the job.”

Her siblings and father cheered, rushing to greet her. “Yes! I know you would!”

“You got the iron will to do so!”

“That’s our Sunny. Always burning bright.”

Her father gave her a pat on the back, his wrinkles smoothing out as he smiled. “You’ve done well Sunny. How I wish your mother was here.”

“I was actually thinking about her. Maybe she’s a shooting star giving us luck now.”

From the end of the hall, Leere was running around the corner, having been given word that Sunny had finished her meeting. Seeing her family, she felt some anxiety creep up on her. What if she didn’t live up to expectations? Wearing a simple dress, she gave Sunny’s family a wave as she approached. “Hello everyone.”

Sunny turned to Leere, taking her hands and planting a kiss on her. “I did it. I’m going to be the C.E.O of the Lon Lon Milk Corporation.”

Leere’s face bloomed into ecstatic happiness, and she kissed Sunny back again. “I’m so proud of you. You’re going to be fantastic.”

Her family eyed the couple, finally getting a look at them together, and eying Leere up on what kind of woman she was. Sunny put an arm around Leere’s waist and turned her towards them. “I’d like you all to meet my girlfriend. Princess Leere.”

Leere gave a polite bow of the head. “Just Leere is fine if that makes you comfortable.”

Galaxia was the only one to not be overly cheerful, or build the façade of being kind to every royal she met. She wanted a straight answer, so she’d be straight in her tone. “So, Leere. You and my sister love each other?”

Leere looked Galaxia in the eye. The woman was about as tall as her sister. But her hair was black as the night. She had two tattoos on her neck. One of the Sun and one of the Moon. She sort of reminded Leere of her brother Ralnor in a way. They both had an aura about them that told others they couldn’t be budged. “Yes. I cherish her dearly.”

“You’ve only met recently.”

“Funny how love works, doesn’t it. It gives you life.”

Sunny was about to stand up for Leere, when Galaxia gave a smirk. “Very good answer. Just keep her happy and we’ll get along fine.”

Her sister extended a handshake to Leere, and Sunny was relieved when her lover took it. Leere liked the fire of this woman. “Of course. Didn’t get your name.”

“Galaxia Ingo.”

“Leere Dragmire.”

Sunny introduced the rest of her siblings, happy that Galaxia seemed to approve. “These are my brothers, Apollo and Cosmo. And this is my youngest sister, Luna.”

Luna gave a polite hand shake to Leere. “I’ve seen your preform. You’re really good on stage.”

“Why thank you.”

Sunny rubbed Leere’s hand. “Would you like to come back to our place to have dinner and celebrate?”

Leere looked to the family, who nodded to encourage her. “I’d be honoured.”

Sunny’s smile burned brightly, and she gave Leere another kiss. “Great! Let’s go get you to change to something more comfortable.” The Rancher snapped a finger to her family before her brothers could make a cheeky comment. “We’ll just be ten minutes.”

But that didn’t stop them anyways. “Wow Apollo. Just in ten minutes?”

“Well, they don’t call it a quickie for nothing.”

Sunny rolled her eyes at them. “Get ya families you silly men.”

Leere and Sunny walked hand in hand back to Leere’s bedroom. Sunny’s siblings looked to their father to get his opinion. He simply shrugged at them. “I’m too old to complain. If she makes Sunny happy, who are we to argue?”

“What about the whole ‘family generation’ thing?”

“I’m sure that they’ll figure it out Galaxia. Let’s head home. We’ll have steaks tonight.”

~

Leere pulled Sunny into her bedroom, giving her another deep kiss. “I’m so happy for you.”

“I’m glad that my families future is secured and we can keep moving forward in the business. Thank you for helping me dear.”

“I wanted to help the woman I love.” Leere pressed another soft kiss to Sunny’s lips.

Sunny held Leere’s shoulders firmly as they kissed lovingly. With a smile, she let go, heading to Leere’s bathroom. “Imma get my makeup off. Feels tacky and sticky. You get changed now.”

“Sure thing.” After Sunny disappeared, Leere was in the middle of getting changed when she heard her roof tile slide open. She nearly gave a loud yelp of surprise when she saw an old friend stopping by.

“Bonegrinder senses that you’ve been awfully happy lately. Must be because you’re finally in the sunshine.”

Leere squinted at him, something very specific bugging her about his wording. Like a buzzer, the realization rang off loudly in her head. Bonegrinder was always a cheeky being, and with him able to see into the future, he spoke in cryptic messages sometimes. It dawned on her that he knew long ago that she’d be together with Sunny. “YOU CHEEKY ASS!”

Sunny yelled from behind the bathroom door. “Everything ok?”

Crap. Leere didn’t want to spring someone like Bonegrinder or any of the Hive on Sunny without plenty of preparation. “Nothing Sunny! I’m just talking with a friend quickly who needed some advice.”

“Okay!”

“Bonegrinder told you didn’t he? He said that you’d find your sunshine.” The Anagari took a finger to play with one of Leere’s locks of hair. “The twins miss your company you know.”

“I’m sure that they’ll have to understand I’m taken now.”

“Yes, yes. Of course.”

“Bonegrinder. You and the rest of the Hive don’t interfere in Lon Lon Ranch’s business, do you?”

“Ah! Bonegrinder loves eating their cows! So succulent and pristine in its flavour.”

“Do you mean buying cut steaks?”

“Why would Bonegrinder by small steaks when he can swallow whole cows?”

Leere grabbed his hand and gave it a light smack. “Enough of that. I won’t tolerate you stealing her cattle in the middle of the night. You can’t do that anymore. You want steak, you buy it like everyone else.”

Bonegrinder gave light pout of the brow, a small chuckle leaving his lips. “Every well. No more whole cows in the middle of the night.”

“I mean it. Or I’ll come down to the underground and give you such a thrashing.”

“Hehehehe, this old snake would love to see you do so~” Bonegrinder gave Leere a light pat on the head. “Will be sure to mark the calendar for your big day. Take care of yourself little porcelain doll.”

Leere wasn’t sure if Bonegrinder was dropping another prediction on her, but before she could say anything, Sunny opened the door, giving the old snake enough time to slither away with a giggle to himself.

“How’d things with your friend go?”

“Good. They, uh, went good.” Leere noticed Sunny’s brows were blonde again, and her hair a little more tussled. “You look natural.”

“Isn’t the line that you look beautiful?” Sunny, with the tilt of her head, eyed Leere with a grin.

“You always look beautiful, makeup or not.”

“See, it’s lines like that that make ya irresistible.” The Rancher took hold of Leere, hugging her close to her chest. Leere purred as she rest her head against her. Sunny took note that Leere hadn’t gotten changed. “What’s taking you so long?”

Leere smiled, knowing the perfect excuse. “I wanted you to watch as I got undressed.”

“Well that’s just playing dirty.”

“I know. You’ll have to get back me later~”

Sunny gave Leere’s bottom a spank for making her have to wait. “Keep making comments like that, and I’ll hogtie you to the bed.”

“Well, wouldn’t want to make your family wait now, would we.”

“No. Which makes you shaking that white bum in my face really hard to resist.”

Leere quit teasing her lover for now, and got changed into her causal attire. A simple shirt and long Hylian skirt. Lastly, because she saw Bonegrinder, she put his scale necklace around her neck. “All done.”

Sunny tilted her head towards the necklace. “That’s really pretty. Where did you get it from.”

“A friend of mine… Actually, same friend you just missed.”

“Oh. Is he one of them Lizalfos people?”

Leere shook her head. “No. Big snake man.”

“You’re friends with a big snake man?”

“Yeah. It’s a long story.”

“Well, we got a long walk and ride back to the ranch. I’d love to hear it.”

Leere felt Sunny’s smile penetrate her soul, and she felt so happy to have someone who just wanted to listen to her. Even though she couldn’t divulge the full details, she could tell her the story in some form. “Years ago, I was a party animal and an active archaeologist. I found this crypt one day that were full of monsters. However, they weren’t monstrous per say.”

“You mean how people could call Moblins monsters, but many won’t hurt a fly? That’s just rumours?”

“Exactly.” Though the Hive could and have hurt people before, some had soft layers underneath their shells if you got close enough to look properly. “They had so many characteristics that made them human. At this time, I just lost a friend of mine. I felt that everyone around me died because they associated themselves with me. So here I find these monsters bigger than the average person, and more durable too. I thought I found the perfect friends.”

“So what happened?”

Leere gave Sunny a light pat as they left the front gate and headed to the stables to reach their horses. “Well, first I had sex with twins. Reeeeeeally kinky twins.”

Sunny raised her eyebrow, than let out a chuckle. “Oh boy. Sounds like a handful.”

“Two pairs for both my hands if you know what I mean. A handful indeed.” Leere stuck her tongue out and briefly allowed herself to be immature by cupping the air with her hands. That got a strong laugh out of Sunny. Giving a sigh, Leere’s memory of first meeting the Hive grew a little more melancholy. “Down there, I also discovered an old temple. I saw things from my future that terrified me. A brief glimpse of all of time. My time. I felt so scared. Had this dread about my own life. So I talked my snake friend into having sex with me. Only male I’ve ever willingly been with. I regret that because I think I only did it because I felt like my life was one big void that needed to be filled. So I tried everything. Drugs, alcohol, sex, and even a little self pain.”

Sunny squeezed Leere’s hand as she watched her lover stare off into the distance. “No one goes through that and comes out to where you are without change.”

“You’re absolutely right about that. I was ready to slowly kill myself if my brother Ralnor did search me out. He told me how my family worried that every time I left, I might never return. Because I always held a darkness in my heart. Most of the time I left, I’d always return scarred by some terror I had to defeat. My friend in the crypt realized this too, and he convinced me to leave with my brother. Afterwards, I checked myself in for rehab and counselling to deal with all my grief and pain. One of the best decisions of my life.”

Sunny was a little surprised. She knew that Leere held a darkness in her heart. It was a little intense to know how deep things got with her, but she was happy knowing Leere pulled herself out of that place. “What you did was very healthy.”

“One cannot help others, until they help themselves. This world is full of those that are full of pain. They often lash out, or hurt themselves, and they tell themselves that its justified. No more. That no longer applies to me. I see the force I am capable of being, and I hold my pain tight, but I will no longer let it bleed me or others.”

Sunny nodded fondly towards Leere, and held her hand. “Golly. You’re a smart woman Leere. And you’re right. When people are in pain, they do often think about how they can lash out to feel better. To quell that aching heart they feel.”

Leere stopped Sunny from getting on the horse. “You speak from experience.”

“I told you once before my mother died during the Solar Eclipse. I felt… so empty that day. That when the Sun went out, and the fire came crashing from the sky like a meteorite storm, I lost my own light for a while. I didn’t know how to deal with that pain at first. I didn’t know where to put it. But I looked around me and I saw I wasn’t the only one in pain. My whole family was going through sadness and hurt. And so were so many other survivors who felt the pain that I felt. So instead of throwing my anger out towards others, everyone decided to come together. If we were going to be hurting, we wouldn’t hurt alone. We’d have understanding and love to come together.” Sunny wiped her face of tiny tears forming, giving a light smile to Leere. “Thinking about her even now gets me emotional. I wish she was here. But I’m sure she’s smiling down now as one of them stars in the night.”

Leere squeezed Sunny’s hand, her heart going out to her. “The spirits of loved ones, regardless if they are in the same plane as us, will always look out for us. I’m sure your mother is looking after you all the time.”

Sunny wiped her tears once more as she pulled Leere in for a tender hug. “Thank you Leere. For opening up and being supportive.”

“And thank you as well.”

Leere stood on her tippy toes to kiss Sunny, and both gave each other another tight hug before releasing. The princess walked to her horse and had to use a step ladder to get on top easily. Rinku made it look so easy. Sunny was a natural as she hopped on her stead. “You ok there?”

“Yep. I’m lucky Blackbolt knows how to stay still.”

Sunny laughed at that. “Without that step ladder, you reckon you’d triple your time getting on that horse?”

“Bah, don’t patronize me missy. I might be small, but I think I know how to handle a horse.”

Each woman smiled at each other, and with a flick of the reigns, they rode off to the ranch, side by side.

https://mrneighbourlove.tumblr.com/post/183811908896/filling-the-emptiness-ch-4-in-love Previous Ch. 

https://mrneighbourlove.tumblr.com/post/184658907816/filling-the-emptiness-ch-6-big-changes Next Ch. 

[perhetale]

PerheTale - Emotional Rollercoaster

Takes Place After: Jealous Skeleton Takes Place Before: Little Date At The MTT Resort

Despite Burgerpants terrible mood after Callie had kissed Sans cheek, the afternoon had been quite pleasant. Having Sans with them after all those days had been really nice. Unfortunately, once he had left, Callie’s mind had been filled with sad thought again. Not because of the kid this time though, but because Burgerpants had actually reminded her of her parents, of her brother, and this was really destroying her mood. She had spent the last hour in her room, trying to cheer herself unsuccessfully. The kids had been really quiet since she came to the room, which was really surprising. Usually they would have burst into a room like crazy at least 50 minutes ago. She sighed, looking through the window. From their room, she could see the core. That meant they were not that far from their destination. But how many times would they die again before they get to the barrier… how many others reset… was it really worth it? Leaving the Underground… was that really necessary? Decaîrell would be trapped anyway. And it's not like there was something waiting for them on the surface. On the Underground however…

Knock knock.

Callie looked at the door. So, the kids finally decided to come. They sure had taken their time. She got up, sighing, and went to open the door with a forced smile. The kids did not need to see her like that. She was not expecting what was behind the door though. The kids were all there, smiling, holding a box in their hand.

“Surprise Smom!” they said together

“What the… Kids what are you doing?”

“You seemed a bit down lately Smom. Especially today after what Burgerpants said… So we wanted to do something for you so you would feel better.” Mina said

“We had done this a while ago for you, but we were waiting for the right moment to give it to you…” Ellyne said

“Oh, kids…” she got on her knees and hugged them.

She took the box and opened it, revealing what was inside. It was a wonderful sleeveless night blue dress, with a golden collar. There was a black belt with a golden stripe and a light gold cameo on the center, on which was a gold heart.

“You shouldn’t have! This must have cost you so much!” she said, tears rushing to her eyes

“We didn’t buy it! We made it” Ellyne smiled

“But you still had to bought the fabric and the material to do it”

“Well… let’s just say that Temmie really love to buy junk” Kyo said

“Wait for me here” Callie said with a smile.

She took the dress and went to the bathroom. She went out a few minutes later, wearing the dress. She twirled for the kids who gasped. The dress was reaching her knees in the front, while the back was falling to her ankles.

“It’s so beautiful. I love it kids! Too bad I don’t have more decent shoes to wear with it” She laughed

“Well… actually…” Decaîrell removed his hands from his back, holding her a second box

“This is too much kids… You shouldn’t have!” she got on her knees again and grabbed everyone, pressing them against her, tears running on her face “You shouldn’t have…”

“Smom you haven’t even opened the second box yet!” Mina complained

“Yes, yes, you’re right…” Callie laughed and wiped the tears from her face.

She opened the box, discovering a pair of glazing black heels. Oh boy, were the kids trying to kill her? She really wasn’t sure she could walk with that. But those shoes were so pretty! She removed her baskets and put the heels. They were a bit tight but it would get better with time. The size was perfect though. She tried to walk a bit with them and managed to not fall or break one of her ankles, but this would definitely take time to get use to them.

“Soooo… How do I look?” she asked to the kids, smiling awkwardly.

“You’re so beautiful Smom” Ellyne said

“Yeah! Oh I know a skeleton who won’t be able to resist you in that dress!” Mina said, winking

“What?!” Callie blushed “What are you talking about?”

“Nothing, nothing…” Mina said with a mischievous smile

The other kids laughed with Mina while Callie blushed. Mina knew her too much. Way too much. She couldn’t even hide the fact that she had a crush on Sans… How could she hide how bad she was feeling lately then? Sooner or later they would discover the truth. They would know… Mina might already knew. And when they would realize how weak she was… No, no. She shouldn’t think about that. The kids were here with her, and they had just offered her the most beautiful gift ever. So for now… She just wanted to enjoy that time with them.

She grabbed the kids and let herself fall on the bed with them, laughing.

“Thank you so much kids. You’re the bests”

They spent the rest of the evening in Callie’s bed, watching TV and talking about random stuff. The family had started to really like Mettaton TV show (despite the fact that he had tried to kill them three time already…) and they loved watching it together. The kids started getting sleepy around 9:30pm (dealing with Mettaton that afternoon had been quite exhausting) and by 10:00, they were all sleeping in there room. Unfortunately, as soon as she was alone again, Callie’s bad mood was back. She sighed, one hand on her forehead, trying keep things together inside her mind. She was feeling better, damn it. The kids had cheering her, why would she start feeling bad again? Maybe… Maybe she would feel better if she could talk to Sans a bit more today? Of course it was not the same as having him near her but she really wouldn’t mind talking to him. He left so quickly after the meal with the kids… She bit her lips. He might be asleep. She really did not want to bother him… Maybe she could send a text instead of calling him?

Callie : Hey. Already asleep lazybone?

She put her phone back on the nightstand and let herself fall back in the bed. That was stupid. He was probably asleep and would not answer… Or she would have woken him up, and then he would be mad at her. She shouldn’t have done that. She really, really shouldn’t have…

*Ding*

Callie jumped in surprise, grabbing her phone right away. She closed her eyes, hoping it was not an angry text from a moody Sans that she had just awoken, and opened the text.

Sans : Nope, still awake!  You wanted something?

Callie : You’re sure, I didn’t wake you up? It’s not important, if you wanna sleep I can leave you alone…

*Ding*

Sans : Ooookay what’s happening?

Busted.

Callie : What? Why do you believe something’s wrong?

*Ding*

Sans : Come on Cal I know you. Did the flower came back?

Callie : No! No it’s not that, I’m just… Feeling a little down. Burgerpants brought back some bad memories today...

*Ding*

Sans : You wanna talk about it?

Callie : IDK… I just didn’t want to stay alone I guess.

*Ding*

Sans : You’ve eaten yet?

Callie looked at the phone, intrigued. Why would he ask that? Was he trying to change the subject so she wouldn’t think about it anymore..?

Callie : Uuh, no?

*Ding*

Sans : Gimme 10 minutes and I’ll be at the MTT Resort, I’m taking you to the restaurant ;)

Callie : What? No, Sans, that’s not what I meant, don’t feel like you have to

Sans : 9 minutes Cal!

What? What?! Callie grabbed the pillow to muffle a little scream. What the hell Sans! What was he doing! And… Holy fuck nine minutes?! She jumped from the bed and rushed to the bathroom. Okay so, at least she was still wearing the kids’ dress so that was good. And… Maybe Mina would be right? Maybe Sans would love the dress! Callie blushed. Now was not the time to think about that kind of stuff. She looked at her in the mirror. Maybe there was something else she could do, beside the dress? She pinched her cheeks gently to make them a bit more red. Okay, okay, not bad, but there had to be something else to do… Ah!! Yes! She untied her hairs, letting them fall loosely on her shoulders. She brushed them quickly so they wouldn’t be too messy. Okay. That should do! She went out of the room and took her phone.

Callie : Okay, just tell me when you’re here.

“Look at her silly face. I tell you, she’s texting Sans” Mina whispered to Ellyne

“Well at least she seemed a bit better than a few minutes ago” Ellyne answered

A few minutes after Callie had left, thinking everybody was sleeping, Ellyne and Mina had sneak out of the room to spy on their mom, wanting to be sure she was okay, since how down she had been that day. They had thought they would have to go back to her room to cheer her but she had started to text Sans and she already seemed to get better. She suddenly screamed into a pillow and Ellyne looked at Mina with a surprised look.

“What the…?”

Seeing Callie rushing to the bathroom, Mina sneaked inside the room and grabbed the phone. She looked quickly and put the phone back on the bed, coming back to Ellyne quickly. She grabbed her and pulled her in their room, without letting her the time to say anything.

“Oh my gooood we got a code pink!” Mina nearly shouted

“What? What??!!! Oh my god!!!”

Mina grabbed her phone and called Papyrus, hoping he wouldn’t sleep.

“HELLO HUMAN? SHOULDN’T YOU BE ASLEEP NOW?”

“Paps! We got a code pink!” Ellyne took the phone from Mina hand before adding “You gotta make Sans wears the tuxedo and the bowtie!”

“THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS ON IT”

“Okay Elly, the second she’s out, we gotta sneak out again”

“Uh? Why?”

“We have to film that” Mina said with a mischievous smile

“Ooooh! Yes!”

Sans : 9 minutes Cal!

Sans got out of his room, looking for Papyrus. He couldn’t leave without saying to his bro where he was going! Poor Paps would worry like crazy if Sans just left without telling him in the middle of the night. When he found him, he was in the kitchen, hanging up his phone.

“Sup bro? Who’s calling so late?”

“OH, THE LITTLE HUMANS WANTED TO SAY GOODNIGHT! BUT IT’S GOOD YOU’RE HERE, I NEED YOUR CLOTHES. YOU’VE BEEN WEARING THEM TOO LONG, IT’S UNHYGIENIC. I MUST WASH THEM”

“Could we do that tomorrow? I was kinda leaving…”

“NO NO NO, IT’S BEEN TOO LONG. GIVE ME YOUR CLOTHES AND I’LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING ELSE TO WEAR”

“Fine” Sans sighed “But you only got, like, 5 minutes, because Callie is waiting for me”

“OH, YOU’RE GONNA SEE CALLIE?”

“Yeah” Sans said, climbing back the stairs to go to his room to remove his clothes “She was feeling a bit down tonight”

“I COME TAKE YOUR CLOTHES IN TWO MINUTES. I’LL BRING YOU SOMETHING ELSE TO WEAR IN THE MEANTIME”

“Got it. Don’t be late!”

“THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS NEVER LATE”

Papyrus was knocking on his door a few minutes later. Sans gave him his clothes through the door and took what Papyrus had brought him. … Wait. A… Tuxedo?

“Paps what the flip? I can’t wear that!”

“YOU HAVE NOTHING ELSE.”

“Then give me back my clothes!”

“THEY ARE ALREADY IN THE MACHINE”

“Paaaaps damn it! I can’t go like that!!!”

“IT’S THAT OR NOTHING. IF YOU DON’T SPEED UP NOW YOU’RE GOING TO BE LATE SANS”

The skeletons groaned, hand on his face. Damn it, he was going to be ridiculous. He sighed. Well at least maybe it would make Callie laugh and she would feel better… But Papyrus was definitely going to pay for that. He put the tuxedo on quickly and looked at him in a mirror. Would Callie like it…? He was feeling so stupid. She was definitely going to make fun of him. Why wouldn’t she? Damn papyrus…

“CAN I ENTER?” Papyrus said behind the door

“Ugh, go ahead, come enjoy the show” Sans said

Papyrus entered the room and smiled at his brother.

“WOWIE!”

“I should really go now Paps…” Sans mumbled

“WAIT! YOU’RE GONNA NEED THIS!”

Papyrus lend Sans a night blue bow tie. He shrugged and took him.

“Whatever, I’ve gone so far, might as well do that too” he sighed, putting the bow tie around his neck.

Papyrus helped him get the bow tie correctly positioned around his neck and smiled.

“OKAY, TIME TO GO NOW, OR YOU’RE GONNA BE LATE”

“Thanks Paps” Sans said, smiling “See you later”

Blue magic surrounded him and a few seconds later, he was at the MTT Resort. Grabbing his phone from his pocket, he sent a text to Callie.

Sans : Hope you’re ready girl, cuz I’m here.