#his character and michelle gomez's character had something there they should have fucked i take no questions

[asexuallucanisdellamorte]

everytime i watch good omens it always knocks me out that jack whitehall is there

[anubianreviewsstuff]

The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina:  Main Characters

Let’s begin with a breakdown and my overall reactions to the main characters of this series shall we?  Over all, I like alot of them, the actors for many are skilled and their skills make everything else bearable to be honest.  But narrative wise, they have a lot of issues.

Harvey:  Nice guy, he comes off heavily naive and just Sabrina’s man puppet toy right off the bat.  He’s oblivious to the fact Sabrina is a witch, as he should so his reactions seem normal, but he is overly forgiving at times.  Personality wise he comes off as weak-willed and easily manipulated, which he is, his best reactions for me, have been when he broke it off with Sabrina, because he was tired of the horrors she often unleashed into his life.  Many of which he eventually just forgave or was forced to “get over it” which, for one particular event, his brother, felt so jarring.  A lot of the time he felt like a caricature of a male rather then a real person.

Roz: At first she was insufferable, she came off as a typical woke feminist type of character you want to see vanish into some narrative void and never come back.  She only really became more like a real person after she loses her eyesight and then, even after regaining it, she continued to be an actual person and not some tumblr activist insert.  I like her more then Sabrina which, says a hell of a lot.

Theo: Now, I’m all for having characters who explore their transgenderism in a show, and a show like this, could have the space if we had LESS characters taking up space.  There’s so much going on, so many subplots and side-quests going on off screen, or in the background that at times in many episodes it’s clogged and muddled and I felt it just took away from this experience.  For what it was, it was great and Theo is a fun character, who came into their own and kept challenging gender stereotypes in the show.  This was sort of weird considering the muddled time-frame the show takes place in, but we’ll get to that later.  Over all I liked Theo and her transformation from Susie to Theo.  I felt they needed less going on to really give this a fair shake to be honest, though.  Alot of it got lost in the supernatural world ending apocalyptic events unfolding in the next scene stole alot of power and impact from this and made it feel in places, tossed in for woke points.  Which I didn’t like because the parts we did see were well written imo.

Auntie Hilda: I love this character.  She is bubbly, loving, sweet, kind, and will shank you in your sleep if you come for her family.  She is so warm and a great chef, she is always supporting her family despite the abuse from her sister.  Whom she loves dearly.  She got a lot of screen time but not much of it was exploring her as a character as much as they gave to other characters.  When she started breaking out to have her own life I was thrilled, she found love and was happy.  She deserved it, I loved seeing her find happiness away from the family she is virtually slave too.

Aunt Zelda: So, over all I kinda like her for her assertive and constant devotion to family, (mostly how she verbally whips Sabrina at times because she deserves it so much).  Besides that she left no real impressions on me other then narrative issues we will get too later but the jist of it is, she way to easily hurls life long beliefs into the trash on a whim.  I’m all for characters who are adaptive but when it’s your life-long religion you threw everything of yourself into...you just don’t shrug it off say “ah well who cares” and move on like you broke your favorite mug.

Ambrose: He is a fun and knowledgeable character but unfortunately he suffers from being a man in a show about women, whose writers clearly have severe slants that show like glaring plot holes.  His wisdom is often ignored or he is laughed off at times for “haha being a stupid MAN, what’s he know!”.  In the start Sabrina often gets helpful advice from him, and sometimes followed it, he was valued then, somewhat.  But as the show progresses he is ignored more and more as a valuable confidant and becomes just another male character who doesn’t really have self-agency alot of the time.  By the end of the 3rd season he is pretty much laughed off as just “a man who doesn’t know anything.”

Father Blackwood: He is so evil he makes the DEVIL seem tame.  I love him as a villain, he is so devious and vile.  I enjoy how he keeps being a villain.  He is well written and evil, like and evil cult leader should be.

Lilith: She is such a fantastic manipulator in this show that really shows her power and ability to walk a tight-rope between truth and lying.  She is murderous, and ensures Sabrina commits the worst corrupting crimes in the entire book while also giving her plenty of openings to just...not do what she says.  The dynamic between her desire to be free of Lucifer’s abuses and being her own entity seeking her own goals and agency.  She in my opinion, is basically the hero of this show, unintentionally.  Michelle Gomez really brings her to life and lends a magnificent personality to the character, she brings Lilith life in a way that makes her more sympathetic then the main character.  Gomez’s expert acting talents for me, really brought the character to life.

Sabrina: Ahh the wart on the boil.  At first she was actually relatable, decent, and sympathetic.  But she over the course of the show’s seasons became increasingly unbearable as a terrible person without any good traits.  She went from being a normal teenage girl to being an insufferable child with such an over-inflated ego that it begs belief that she can walk without keeling over.  Really this change is most noticeable between season 2 and 3, she changes from being a manipulated child wanting her independence from THE DEVIL’S OPPRESSION AND SLAVERY TO HIS WILL, to, thinking if she demands the universe bend the knee, it will just happen.  Sabrina is perhaps the most oblivious character in the entire show, as well as the least intelligent, without any sense of nuance, masquerading as a character who has a moral compass (she doesn’t), nor does she have foresight.  She’s pretty much become a character that is a typical arrogant teenager who thinks they already know everything and doesn’t need anyone’s help, ever, except she constantly needs hand-holding.  She’s dumb, easily mislead, arrogant, self-absorbed, and values no one’s advice but her own, even as she abuses her romantic partners and ignores their plights because her own little problems are more important.  If ever you could watch a character pretend to be the hero but is actually the worst villain in the entire show, it is this ones.  Good gods is she the best villain that doesn’t realize she actually is the villain.  I honestly loathe Sabrina because of how unintentionally dumb and vapid she is, good lord, she just commands other characters to do her character development for her, instead of doing it herself, while she runs off to pull other plot points together and somehow we are supposed to root for her when every time she gets yelled at and broken down, it’s so enjoyable because she absolutely deserves it.  My one moment of utter loathing for Sabrina had to come from when her boyfriend came back from literal Hell.  He sacrificed his soul and body to save the world and Sabrina by being the prison Lucifer gets sealed into, then dragged into Hell where he was debased, violated and abused daily by Lilith for a good while.  Shocking when he came back from Hell with PTSD and horrifying nightmares and Sabrina, ignored his needs and plights as unimportant because “something something, it’s not about me”.  Then she yells at him that his suffering doesn’t matter because she is busy.  Sure, it was important what she was doing but Nick didn’t deserve to be told to fuck off and his suffering was just not important to her to deal with at the time and she could have either waited or delegated it to some other character for awhile and help her boyfriend she claims to love, deal with his issues that are destroying him.  But no, it wasn’t worth her time.  She is despicable.

Lucifer:  I love Luke Cook’s devil.  Albeit the Devil is...the devil...what do ya know the PRINCE OF LIES is evil...shocking.  But Cook makes him fun and enjoyable to see as an evil entity.

[the-desolated-quill]

Death In Heaven - Doctor Who blog (Fuck You Moffat)

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

Remember when I said The Name Of The Doctor was the worst series finale in New Who. Turns out I was wrong. This is the worst series finale in New Who. And I do hope Moffat isn’t interpreting this as a challenge, trying to come up with finales worse than the previous year’s. How about writing some good shit for once in your career?

Dark Water was an incredibly bad episode, but Death In Heaven takes it to new, insulting extremes. It’s utter bollocks from start to finish. It’s a mountain of bullshit so rock hard, not even diamond tipped drills could penetrate it. It’s an entire hurricane of piss. It’s... It’s... I didn’t like it.

Having fucked up the Daleks back in the previous series, it seems Moffat is now determined to ruin the second most popular monsters in the show the Cybermen, and he succeeds with flying colours. Is there anything the Cybermen can’t do now? They can fly, they can convert the dead, they can create clouds of Cyber-pollen, and apparently every atom of a Cyber body contains a program to upgrade the human race. At this stage the Cybermen have become so over-powered that they’ve just become utterly boring, evading anything the Doctor throws at them by pulling another random superpower out of their arses.

Also, like I said in my previous review, why are they converting the dead? Why not convert the living like they usually do? And why, once they’ve been converted, do they just stand around doing bugger all? It’s a bit hard to find Cybermen threatening when they pose no fucking threat whatsoever.

And then, as if you couldn’t undermine the Cybermen anymore than he already has, Moffat decides to go in for the kill with Danny Pink. I’m sorry, but Danny the droopy Cyberman has got to be one of the most pathetic sights I’ve ever seen. He wants to erase his emotions because of Clara (which seems like an overreaction to me) and asks Clara to do it for him even though there’s no reason why he can’t just do it himself. It must be out of spite. That’s the only reason I can think of. Oh, but Moffat still wants us to think that Danny and Clara are the perfect couple as opposed to a highly dysfunctional and toxic pairing that would seem more at home on The Jeremy Kyle Show than Doctor Who. 

Also, even in Cyber form, Danny can’t resist chastising the Doctor even though he’s actually trying to help the ungrateful bastard. In fact there’s a lot of Doctor-blaming going on in this episode and I really don’t get why because, as far as I can see, he hasn’t actually done anything wrong. At this stage I wanted nothing more than for Danny to fuck off and die, and I thankfully got my wish, except it had to take the form of a stupid, heroic self sacrifice. This isn’t the first time the Cybermen have been defeated by the power of love, and it’s always been really stupid every time, but this has got to be the most nonsensical. Danny’s love for Clara reverses the Cyber conditioning? Are you seriously telling me that Danny is the only person in the entire world who has loved someone enough to want to save the world? And if that’s not bad enough, Danny gets not one, but TWO stupid self sacrifices when it’s revealed the Master’s teleport randomly only has enough power for one trip (bit fucking convenient) and so he chooses to save that kid that died in that war zone. A series worth of buildup for this cliched pile of shit? Cheers Moffat!

Since I’ve mentioned the Master (I categorically refuse to call her Missy), let’s talk about her. I didn’t think it was possible to be more annoying than John Simm, but Michelle Gomez somehow managed to pull it off. I utterly detested her in this. I’ve never really liked the Master anyway, but I swear the character never used to be this fucking childish. She’s weird, obnoxious and goofy for no other reason other than she’s ker-RAYzay. (seriously, is that the only way Moffat knows how to write villains? She’s basically Andrew Scott’s shitty version of Moriaty in a dress). What’s worse is that the only way to make her come across as even remotely threatening is by making the characters around her act like fucking morons. UNIT have met the Master before. They know how dangerous she is. Why do the soldiers guarding her not react when she very visibly activates her bracelet, breaks out of her restraints and puts on her lipstick? Why does Osgood, who has apparently read all the dossiers about the Master, get so close to her to listen to her whisper and not scarper when the Master threatens to kill her?

Also, what is the Master’s plan exactly? Why Cybermen? Considering these Cybermen have pretty much nothing in common with actual Cybermen, I can only assume they’re there for rubbish fanservice and that Moffat is too fucking lazy to come up with his own ideas.

Apparently the Master wants to give the Doctor his own army to prove the two aren’t so different. It appears Moffat is going for a Killing Joke vibe, but it doesn’t work because while Batman and the Joker are two sides of the same coin, the Doctor and the Master are so diametrically opposed that this whole plot point becomes fucking laughable. It has the same whiff of bullshit that Journey’s End had with Davros chastising the Doctor for ‘taking ordinary people and fashioning them into weapons.’ Like I said about that episode, there’s a world of difference between turning people into weapons and encouraging people to defend themselves. The Doctor is very much the latter, so spare me the ‘we’re not so different, you and I’ crap. Is the Doctor better than the Master? ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY!

Yes, once again, it turns out this episode is all about the Doctor. That’s all this bastard series has been about. Characters talking relentlessly about whether the Doctor is a good man or not. It’s utterly tedious to sit through because we all already know the bloody answer. Hopefully the Doctor’s speech about how he’s just an idiot in a box with a screwdriver will finally put it to rest. Not that I’m praising the speech mind. Peter Capaldi does his best, but it’s badly written and stupidly over the top, plus it’s hard to really feel the emotional weight of this speech when all it does is state the fucking obvious. The Doctor isn’t a soldier or a hero. He’s just some guy. Yeah. We know. What, have you only just worked that out Moffat? Why are you boring us to death with shit everyone and their mums already fucking know? Can we move on?

If there’s one thing I hate more than Moffat trying to spin the bleeding obvious as surprising revelations, it’s the bullshit lies and fake outs. Why are the Doctor and Clara lying to each other at the end? What purpose does it serve? (Also trust Moffat for coming up with a pretentious bullshit reason why hugs are bad. It couldn’t possibly be as simple as this Doctor just doesn’t like hugs). What was the point of Clara pretending to be the Doctor to trick the Cybermen? That never goes anywhere. Oh no! Danny is going to be Cyberfied... oh wait. He’s okay. Oh no, Kate Stewart has fallen out of the aeroplane... oh wait, she’s fine. OMG, the Doctor is actually going to kill the Master... oh wait, that wasn’t an orange light. It was a blue light, which means she’s teleported, so she’s probably okay. Wow, the Doctor is finally going to find Gallifrey... oh wait. No. The Master was lying.

Like I said in my previous review, keep wrong-footing the audience and eventually we’ll get sick of the bullshit and stop trusting what we see. I mean look at Osgood’s death. That should have been shocking, but not only is she a one dimensional character that I don’t give even a sub-atomic particle of shit about and is clearly too stupid to live, the fact is none of Moffat’s characters ever actually stay dead, do they? Rory. River Song. Strax. Jenny. Clara. Nobody really dies in the Moffat era, so why bother getting upset about Osgood? She’s probably going to come back in the next series.

But the thing that angered me the most about Death In Heaven is the utter contempt and disrespect Moffat shows to classic series fans. And don’t pretend you don’t know what scene I’m referring to.

Cybermen are converting the dead. The Brigadier is dead. Moffat is an insecure, egocentric hack who desperately wants to stand out from the Who rabble. Take a random guess what happens.

I’ve seen bad Doctor Who episodes before. I’ve been pissed off by Doctor Who before. But never before has an episode filled me with such utter rage. Not even Kill The Moon managed that, and you all know how much I despised that load of garbage. I didn’t take the idea of the Brigadier being a Cyberman particularly well, and I’m not exactly proud to say this, but my reaction was quite extreme. I basically had a full blown screaming fit. I was so angry and so upset by this. I couldn’t believe Moffat would do something so fucking crass and so fucking disrespectful. Yes it’s just a TV show, but the Brigadier was one of my favourite characters in Classic Who and indeed one of the most beloved characters in the entire show. And when a talentless, arrogant smartarse like Moffat comes along and tramples all over those happy, nostalgic memories, I think you have every right to take it personally. This has got to be the most insulting thing Moffat has ever done, and if I wasn’t committed to reviewing the rest of these episodes, I think I can safely say I wouldn’t be watching this show anymore after that.

Death In Heaven is a fucking terrible finale to what has been a fucking terrible series. Yes some episodes had decent elements in them, but it’s largely been awful. Series 8′s only saving grace has been Peter Capaldi, who has done an amazing job in the role despite the material he’s had to work with.

Moffat, go flush your head down the fucking toilet.

[theskyexists]

series 10 finale

can i just say- that thing, that they do in series ten, that thing where

the universe rhymes and if you really listen, you can hear its music?

that’s some good shit

‘what does he call you? companions? pets? SH-nacks?’ god michelle gomez is just! so! good!

‘time lords are friends with each other dear, everything else is cradle-snatching’ pfftjlkdjsfkalkds she’s got perhaps...a point? (not really, but)

‘these are my disposables, exposition and comic relief’ FULJSDFJSDFJ MOFFAT YOU he really went there. HE REALLY WENT THERE HALJSDKD

‘we’re not functions’ ‘darling those are genders’

ok????? hahahahahaha

wow, doctor who meta dslafldk and then a dab

‘is this the emotion that you humans call...spanking?’

‘are you human’ ‘oh don’t be a bitch’ ljsdldsajlfjlkdf (moffat got so surprisingly woke that he knows exactly what he can have her say, damn. and michelle’s delivery what the hell so good hahaha)

oh no. no no no no. this is the moment she gets shot huh? what. no i. why do the Doctor’s companions in moffat’s era always die of being bravely stupid? (well..clara) like, not stupidly brave, but bravely stupid? i don’t like that narrative

why did Bill say that???? like i don’t get it.

jump in front of her??????? why. does he not stand in front of the damn gun?? why does he walk past it? why? dude?? now i understand why Thirteen keeps saying ‘STAY BEHIND ME, BEHIND ME’ always catching bombs to the face and shit.

those were some great flashbacks peppered in. ‘she scares me’ yeah well the Doctor was the one who fucked up here. he wasn’t fast enough. he didn’t reach hard enough for the right card in the pack.....but there was another time lord there - maybe she reached harder.

‘assumption!’ ‘deduction!’ ‘hope!’ ‘faith!’ ‘idiot!’ ‘always!’

this is the thing. like, the Doctor just lets her get shot and lets her get taken away - it’s barely believable.

yeah the crew went down, time dilation, they procreated, somehow they grew some shitty cybermen. (why does human society keep producing them?). YUP i called it.

365000 days, a hundred thousand years. yoikes. but if they have such fast lifts why is it a problem? and why go up to get the humans (yeah cybermen always wanna make more) i think knowing moffat we won’t really get an answer to these essential plot-driving questions

ohhh that’s chilling huh. makes you think they got some more anaesthetic but they’re still pressing the button - it just doesn’t make any noise any more.

but it’s hard to hear such pain.

and SUDDENLY, the theatre broadens - it seemed like just a part of the ship - narrow - but then we see the whole colony ship populated and a dystopia, this hospital just a building in a landscape. very cool.

How does the Doctor not realise that he hasn’t got TIME for explanations??? Bill is either dead or DYING RIGHT NOW BECAUSE HE’S WASTING TIME.

i do love this concept always have and it is executed well here - but look. the Doctor is written as very dumb to make it so.

‘how many more years’ YEARS????? oh my god. why does she close the window? interesting

fuckin bullshit. they never returned because time went slow for them. he KNOWS this, so why does he think it’s because the people were ‘weak’? he knows she came from command, that it’s possible to go up, because they took her! the conversion is only controlling her. so does she buy it? (I do like this guy, but he’s probably evil)

how has Bill remained SANE? years of this. years of this??? what an exceptionally resilient person.

yeah we’re not getting an explanation for why these people uh managed to go up and take her down huh? except ‘evil villain lied to everybody’ i think. oh well that can be satisfactory

wait. is he the master? is he the MASTER??? i mean i was considering it but.

he spent like 10 years living with Bill and it didn’t make a dent in his psychopathy hmmm. so the explanation is that the Master has taken over and wanted to fuck over the Doctor just for laughs. lol

why scarecrow them??? xD sometimes these aesthetics make zero sense in real life. do love how they went back to : look how these settlers went up to the solar farm! living a lovely life except they’re being attacked by cybermen.

so what im learning from moffat’s writing is - push your concept first thing you can - something incongruous - and something familiar to those familiar with the work.

woah that gloating wasn’t quite long enough for teh Doctor to have a win. i thought the Masters were having him on. (fascinating though, that he attributes the emergence of cybermen not to the Master’s presence but simply to the humans - and the Master’s responses prove him right. do feel like he messed with it all though...)

‘there’s only ever been one way to stop that many cybermen. me’ hmmmm hmmm, i always dislike the Doctor boasting like this. just pride. though i would welcome it for thirteen, just a couple of times.

‘i’m in two minds - fortunately the other one’s unconscious.’ hah

we gotta cut away from this because we don’t know how this unwieldy Bill cyberman got the Doctor into the ship.

The Master constantly veers between almost killing the Doctor and then kinda deciding not to because they’re having so much fun or caring about their complex relationship a bit too stupidly much. lotta storytelling packed into this ep, bit unwieldy.

great switch, making Bill look human again as we switch to her pov

where the FUCK did the Doctor get jelly babies

this is a beautiful scene, but also, goddamn, they made her into a cyberman and now she can’t be angry any more?? i mean that’s not very woke

they didn’t allow bill the opportunity to hit the Master?? AGAIN?? Bill should have been able to hit the Doctor AND the Master this season for the cruelty they showed her!!

I do think the Master is THE character for Moffat because all of the plot bullshit can be explained as: the Master is just that dramatic. like, why wait with Bill’s conversion until the pain part was developed and the Doctor would be coming down? could have converted her right there. and he only kept her around to rub it in the Doctor’s face. like all of that - somehow explained by what a particular person they are.

redirection, the cryptic, it’s one of the Doctor’s main tools for hope. the beyond, the in-between, that which we cannot yet know, may never know - that’s flux babey, that’s hope.

but ya can’t un-call the lifts? what. they won’t have ‘thousands’ of years if you run straight at the TARDIS.

so im not sure why they had time to build a weapon’s grade cyberman but not uh time to send lots and lots of them up?

AND NOW THEY’RE JUST GOING TO BURST THROUGH??? THE FUCKIN SHIP? xD ahahahaha why???

i do love how you SEE the Master use make-up while male. fuck gender roles! I do love the Masters’ dynamics hahaha

the Doctor always makes time for fuckin - explanations. the cybermen are coming up but WHATEVER!

that Master on Master kill was honestly hella tender and i loved it.

‘can’t find the words’

Bill was glad that her space granddad knew she was a lesbian- ha. somehow that....how did Moffat write that? seems uniquely gay but maybe he’s just drawing on - yeah gotta make sure that this time it is NOT read as romance.

NOOOOOO!!!!!! NO!!!!! MISSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so...are they just not evacuating teh adults? like was it so hard to get them adult actors in the shot a few times too??? like wtf these kids aren’t like: MY PARENTS!!! before they blow it up? before the blow up a WHOLE countryside?

he didn’t get blown to pieces? fuckin bullshit lol

but BILL survived? enough to walk. I KNOW it’s for drama but it’s just lol

ok but Heather is SO CUTE HOLY FUCKIN SHIT. i don;t understand how this freak of sentient oil puddle got to create an immortal ethereal being - but WHAT EVS. (I can pilot anything, even you.  what a come on lol)

where there’s tears, there’s hope, yes but you also gave him a tear huh, as a puddle-being, so you can track him hmmm

all the flashbacks to modern companions!!! i loved that!

i actually think the christmas special kind of ruins this real good finale!

i am gonna miss Missy, Michell Gomez did something truly incredible there. but i also liked the return of Simm!Master, and i loved their chemistry.

anyway i genuinely think this was a good finale. very complex, and very moffat. but mostly his strong writing, very little of his shitty tics.

GOOD STUFF!!

meanwhile cybermen are still coming up the colony ship converting people on every deck though, so that’s unfortunate.

[soulcollector0100-blog]

Kristie Frankly Vs. Michelle Gomez

             IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF ARLINGTON, VA

Kristie Frankly Address Sealed Plaintiff Case #:    ______________                   v.

Michelle Gomez Bridgette Coleman Darren Robertson Gary Williams Defendant

                                  COMPLAINT

PLAINTIFF,  comes this day, October 07, 2017, pro se, and for the reasons and causes for his Complaint, states as follows:

              COUNT I, II, III, IV, VII :Intentional Emotional Distress, Criminal Harassment, Extortion, Conspiracy, Defamation of Character 1. Plaintiff,  KF, experienced a temporary lag of mental state in 2014. I was told being poisoned or being drugged without prior knowledge or consent can cause the same side effects I was experiencing. 2. During this temporary episode I sent a document that contained sensitive and damaging information to Michelle Gomez and two other family members. I am not friends with any of the people listed at BHLPC. But definitely not with Michelle Gomez and Bridgette Coleman. Michelle receiving anything was the DEVILS work. I did not care to know these females were still breathing. Fake unsavory character character and users. 3. Michelle Gomez initially upon receiving the list said she wanted her name and picture removed and was making fun of the list                       5. After the episode has passed I tell Michelle do not send the list around delete anything you may have. She states that he has not sent it to anyone and that she has deleted the list. Immediately I realize it’s a lie because Bridgette and Gary profile states otherwise. 6.  I’m in the middle of a suit which I will not be naming which requires this suit take place because these people are refusing to act like civilized individuals with MY PROPERTY. Also the list is damaging and personal I’m nature.           7Michelle was given ample warning to furbish a list of names and an admission  that she has sent the list around. She was also given warning to DELETE the list and tell her recipients to delete the list. This is being nice. She should not have sent ANYTHING around to anyone. It was done purposefully to slander my name and my reputation. 8. The Damages are highlighted in this complaint but they will not be highlighted in this cover letter. Please Continue to read Attached pages.

Summary of Events and Relief follows, See Attached.

Respectfully submitted,            _____________________    , Plaintiff                                                 Address Sealed

Seal Address

Vs. Michelle Gomez Nixon and Vanderhye 901 N Glebe Rd # 1100, Arlington, VA 22203

Brigette Coleman Capital One 1680 Capital One Drive, McLean, Virginia 22102

Disclaimer. I apologize to the judges and other respectable member of society for having to read my foul language. But these people flagrant disregard for other people’s lives and property ENRAGES ME. I don’t know these women and don’t care to know them or be throwing around  their names. This Complaint is unorthodox in it veers away from my character and the professional way I carry myself. Please ignore the verbal asswhooping I have to give these young whores.

Write a short and plain statement of the claim. Do not make legal arguments. State as briefly as possible the facts showing that each plaintiff is entitled to the damages or other relief sought. State how each defendant was involved and what each defendant did that caused the plaintiff harm or violate the plaintiff’s rights including the dates and places of that involvement or conduct. If more than one claim is asserted, number each claim and write a short and plain statement of each claim in a separate paragraph. Attach additional pages if needed.

June 06, 2017 On or around April/May of 2014 Michelle Gomez received a list that contained business professionals’ pictures there work places and other personal identifying damaging information.  This list was created by me as a result of an unfortunate health situation. Me and Michelle are not friends and me sending anything to her should have tipped her off that something was wrong. But even if we negate that Michelle was making fun of the document and the email giving me proof that she knew I was not well and that the list should have not been sent around.  Not only am I sure she sent it around to Bridgette whom is a WHORE  A fucking black shit  ball. A fucking White man whore. She is on the other side of town with random men. They are black so we clarify.  A fucking pastor. Just the fucking type to use church to open her nasty fucking legs and her diseased infested vagina. Don’t use me whore. I’m a real virgin. Something Bridgette knows shit about. Darren is a joke.. I need Lysol spray if he looks my way too long.  Bridgette bats her eyes at EVERYTHING that walks that has a fucking penise. Lets make something CLEAR Darren was USED. Someone Was watching on the other side. The men you fuck with barf in my fucking mouth whore. STOP fucking playing with me you fucking white man whore. That’s me being nice. The only white mans face I see you in hes married. And you fucking following him around like a lost fucking kitten. Is married. Sad and Pathetic. All Bridgette’s dude Black and UGLY Dismissed didn’t see shit. I’d hate to be your fucking mother bitch. Asswhooping and you over the age of 30. If you could’ve read my mind years ago. Ewww. Whore. You earned my OPINION because you don’t act like you have sense or self respect or that’s right follow the law. Bitch YOURE FUCKING TRASH.   I’m requesting JAIL TIME YOU FUCKING BLACK WHORE. . Bitch you’re pathetic. Sad excuse for why you send white men the wrong fucking message. A  cheap whore in the restroom. Penny for your used VAGINA. Bitch stop playing with me. I give a fuck to know you’re still breathing. You earned my fucking opinion because you have something that  belongs to me. And bringing my NAME up at all. Bitch I DON’T KNOW YOU. DON’T WANT TO FCKING KNOW KEEP MY FUCKING NAME OUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH WHORE.  I didn’t see shit at BHLPC and I still don’t. Little whores playing adult. That’s a suit by itself. Most of these broadsc ant add let alone they walking round like they should be able to MAKE their OWN decisions. Fuck no.  A bunch of little ass children. Nothing I’m saying here is false. Hand on the bible Bridgette’s a whore and she attempted to use me and she’s not a VIRGIN. I could sue you for that ALONE BITCH.  You place doubt where it doesn’t belong. You know shit about it. Whores like Bridgette use the bible as some sort of calling card to take their underwear’s off. Bridgette is that whore who wears a tube dress to church looking for redemption. I have an idea keep your legs closed. I will take your mouth off for you. Solve all your fucking problems. Whore stop fucking playing with me. If fucking cutting your stupid as up was legal. You’d be in a blender somewhere. I follow the law. But that would be you. Cut the fuck up with no one able to find your stupid ass. The car crash should have fucking taken your fucking life. Not a tear whore.  Give your proof people DON’T deserve the gift that is life. It would have been fucking gods gift to go to your fucking funeral and LAUGH. God works in mysterious ways whore.   Thank your lucky fucking stars or NOT. Jail time whore. Till the death of me youre going to take your check, your mommas check and YOURE GOING TO FUCKING PAY ME.  your taking your tired raggedy ass to jail.    Michelle emailed me and told me she did not want her picture to be used or sent around. She received an email from me a few months later requesting the document not be sent around and that the list be deleted. At that time she told me in so many words the list was not sent around and that the list was deleted.  Immediately following that email I checked two other peoples twitter and linked profiles and two people gave me indication Michelle perhaps was not being honest. Gary was making very suggestive comments and Bridgette removed her picture from her Linked profile which would indicate they both were sent the document. I sue the word indicate because im not 100 percent sure. At that point it would have been done maliciously because although I did say in the email don’t send it to anyone not on the list. What Michelle did was I said don’t kill people wearing red she kills people wearing BLUE. You look fucking BATSHIT. INSANE Why are you listening to a murderer at fucking ALL. ALL Delete. I created the document and I don’t even happy a copy. It went in the trash where it belongs.  Michelle stole a car and they all aware its stolen and they all get in. Youre all going to jail. Brigette’s excited got a video of me wiping myself on toilet. Its hers. Bitch you’re sick.  FYI I like DICK.  White dick ON top of it. Bitch Dismissed. Till my dying day I will never understand WHY women are jealous of other females. SICK and PROBBALY GAY. BITCH KILL  YOURSELF.  A video of me wiping myself on my cycle. You’re all sick. ALL I HAVE to fucking say. You’re fixated on someone’s life who would pay to have you all executed with a shot to the fucking head. I don’t care you’re breathing begging for asswhoopings.  I was not well that WHOLE email should have been disregarded and trashed. And if ANY person is saying they had problem with their name picture or any other information in the document I never received ANYTHING from anyone except Michelle upon me first sending it to her. That would negate any argument that they worried about the list being passed around with their information on it. You’re attempting to make me responsible for children putting words in my mouth.  The world is not about YOU. Thats 40 PEOPLE who had shit to do with nothing and their shit is being passed around. I passed it around to 2 OTHER family member Equal to zero people. A fucking ugly muskrat put words in my fucking mouth. I DONT TALK TO THESE PEOPLE. I DON’T KNOW THESE PEOPLE. I DON’T WANT TO KNOW THESE PEOPLE. BITCH KILL YOURSELF. NOW. STOP fucking playing WITH ME.  I’m pretty sure it was the topic of conversation and the butt of many jokes.  Which I find comical. BHLP WAS A FUCKING COMEDY SPECIAL. Bridgette a whore claiming virgin. It’s hilarious. Just let the bitch walk around in fantasy land. Bridgette knows SHIT about me WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE TALKING TO A FUCKING trash can. One  bastshit. Two it stinks. Threes she’s jealous. Bitch no. That’s why I popped up on your ass to the magnitude I did. I don’t even fuck with black men. Okay bye. Youre not even on my level whore. Continue to imitate and sell your vagina in the bathroom whore. That’s what you come across ass. A cheap WHORE. Keep thinking anyone jealous Bitch jealousy doesn’t exist if we talking about you. You’re a fucking 9 year old at work with your parents take your stupid ass somewhere. None of the men I’ve seen  Bridgette with  and there were many I’m not even stopping at a red light to look their way. NO mam. DIDN’T SEE SHIT. DISMISSED. Tell Darren White makes him look Gay.Eww hwo do I make the dude I want JEALOUS off that shit. Gay. Dismissed. Tell Gary  will attend Him and Gary’s nuptials. Fuck no.   Pick ANOTHER WHOLE COLOR.  So they are passing around a document while they will claim in court that’s my picture that’s my name. You didn’t make anything clear to me that you didn’t want anything to be used but you are sending it around. That list contained about 30-40 people I only sent it to three people. So if she has sent it around I am now responsible for what should have been zero people if people had any kind of class morals or sense.  What makes this worse is I’m in the middle of another suit making this suit necessary among OTHER reasons. I email her on April 27, 2017. I will paste the emails in this complaint. My email will be removed for privacy and safety reasons.

Also I did send Michelle emails goading that I was rengeing on the suit because After I told Michele I was suing. I had to disown three McDonald’s locations because Spanish women or Spanish workers were tampering or harassing me upon ordering. I’ve never had a problem At McDonalds IN MY LIFE till now. I DO have police reports on these incidences. A copy of this complaint will be sent to Michelle. And they will be served individually at their work places. Let me add here I may add an extra 100,000 because that was a scary time for me and my health. Not only are these people unsympathetic. They should have not received ANYTHING. I have to take them to court over common sense and what’s the RIGHT THING TO DO. I WANT JAIL TIME.

……. May 5 to Michelle

So we are clear my last email is so that you ascertain the magnitude of your actions. So when we get to court you can’t say I didn’t know wasn’t aware wasn’t my intent. You control nothing. Two whores looking to insert themselves somewhere one they are not wanted and two a desperate attempt to matter more than what you are especially in my life. I truly don’t see anything you need to get your life together mind your own business and leave others people business alone. Bridgette needs to stay away from married men pastors and random men she met on the wrong side of town. Ooh and the thirsty thing she still has going on. Obviously. I’m not surprised either if you are single. Really. Obnoxious. Begging for ass whippings. On May 4, 2017 12:03 PM, "…." <….. > wrote: Let’s say you don’t respond to his email by the end of the day I give him your work number kay? Kay On May 3, 2017 12:18 PM, "Michelle Gomez" <michellepgomez@gmail.com> wrote: I do not have a list. I am not against you in any way. I am telling the truth. I don't have any reason to lie to you. I'm not sure what is really going on.

On Wed, May 3, 2017 at 12:12 PM, <…. > wrote: PLEASE STOP emailing me unless you are going to furbish a list please see all emails and follow directions. But should you not be following those directions. You are aware of what’s going to happen and if you are not going to follow directions. YOU STOP EMAILING ME. COMPRENDE?

On Wed, May 3, 2017 at 12:09 PM, Michelle Gomez <michellepgomez@gmail.com> wrote: I don't know what you hope to gain. Please just stop harassing me.

On Wed, May 3, 2017 at 12:06 PM, <….. > wrote: I’m sorry I have to be fair SO YOU are aware and no one gets mad Nixon and Vanderhye and capital one. SERVED. Just so you understand.

On Wed, May 3, 2017 at 11:58 AM, Michelle Gomez <michellepgomez@gmail.com> wrote: Pay you for what? My comment was not a threat, it was honestly just me saying life is too short for this kind of stuff (i.e. my mom died and you are still going with this). Why can't you just leave it alone? I don't have a list, I didn't send anything to anyone. I hope you find peace.

On Wed, May 3, 2017 at 11:54 AM, <… > wrote: I find YOU bizarre to BE quite honest. I know your track record. I worked with you as well.  Secondly the life is short comment sounds like a THREAT. Sweatheart. Threat doesn’t exist. SAY WHAT YOU NEEED TO SAY. i DONT TAKE THREATS LIGHTLY. You CAN SAY WHAT YOU LIKE be honest or see you in court. i WONT BE  emailing any further but should I not see a list in my email by the time I get to a computer tomorrow. SUIT. Show OR YOU paying me. End of discussion.

On Wed, May 3, 2017 at 11:51 AM, Michelle Gomez <michellepgomez@gmail.com> wrote: I honestly don't know what you want or hope to get out of this, but I don't have any reason to lie. The fact that you continue to harrass me (and probably others) is really bizarre especially since I worked with you so long ago. I have no reason to lie and don't even know what this is really about. So just move on, life is too short.

On Wed, May 3, 2017 at 11:45 AM, …<…. > wrote: I’m sorry I don’t believe you. Firstly you are responding like water right now. This is your first response in what 3 5 days? No mam Bridgete removed her picture Gary made comments. I really am not buying it. Should have told them to add one plus one then all of you corroborate your story.

On Wed, May 3, 2017 at 11:42 AM, Michelle Gomez <michellepgomez@gmail.com > wrote: I didn't send it to anyone. I had no reason to. I respected when you wanted me to delete it. I have no reason to lie to you either.

On Wed, May 3, 2017 at 11:33 AM, ….<…. > wrote: You have not answered the question. DID you sent it to people. And I’m going to need you to be honest. I am nearly certain you have but I need confirmation and the names as I will be pursuing a case. and it’s imperative I know exactly who. The games don’t sit well with me. Let’s just safely assume I know you're lying.

On Wed, May 3, 2017 at 11:31 AM, Michelle Gomez <…. > wrote: I remember you sending me a list; I just did a search and I don't have it. So there's nothing to worry about.

On Wed, May 3, 2017 at 11:28 AM, ….<….. > wrote: I apologize that your mom died. But imp sorry this is of an urgent nature. Really unfortunate. I’d hope that you dont have a list since I requested you delete it. But I am going to need for you to answer my question. and follow directions. I am sorry for your loss though.

On Wed, May 3, 2017 at 11:27 AM, Michelle Gomez <….. > wrote: I can assure you that don't have any list with any names on it. My mom died, so please stop with this.

On Wed, May 3, 2017 at 7:12 AM, …..<….. > wrote: The fact that you haven’t responded proves that you have something to hide and are probably guilty of what I'm talking about. You have till 8 then I’m just going to file a suit suing everyone I think it was sent to and it you don’t show up. Exactly didn’t want to see any of you. Grown ass woman. Handles things in that manner and acts accordingly no one can pop up on me and embarrass me. Yall act like children and get caught. You don’t show you owe me automatically. On Apr 30, 2017 8:54 AM, "…." <….. > wrote: Im also going to need who they sent it to. On Apr 30, 2017 8:02 AM, "…." <….. > wrote: You have till Wednesday night to furbish a list. Im presuming by your silence that you are guilty of spreading it around. Should you choose to ignore me or not give me a complete list i will file a suit and depending on the nature of the activity surrounding the list a suit may still happen. Gave it your way. Your recipients don't get to make choices or decisions. On Apr 28, 2017 9:04 PM, "…." <…. > wrote: Im going to give you till 8 tommorrow before I assume the worst. Still waiting for the names though. On Apr 27, 2017 9:50 PM, "….." <….. > wrote: Hey Michelle. Sorry to be a bother to you. But I just wanted to confirm you didn’t send that list around but if by chance you did the names of the people you sent it to. It’s imperative that you are honest

I do not have ANYTHING to hide. So I will post all emails. I’m angry for obvious reason.

> May 7 to Michelle

Silly whores. Felt like it. Will talk back with police tomorrow then file the suit.

---- > May 5 to Michelle

If i have to pursue a civil suit. It will be a 100,000 just because you’re not willing to act in a civilized socially responsible way and I’m going to have you subpoenaed for the list of names and their recipients. You not being forthcoming imply malicious intent and criminal behavior. Me having to continuously email is emotional distress and quite frankly anyone involved can be included for conspiracy. The document contains sensitive and damaging information for more than just one person. I find it amazing that you first sent it around but probably turned what should have been ten minutes into what 4 weeks 2 years is it even deleted like I requested and you told me you dud. Did everyone else delete it. I’m also going to try for criminal harassment and cybercrime with intent to call intentional emotional and mental distress. It’s a crime please don’t let one incompetent cop lull you into lala land because I will add damages and throw away the key. There is no room for negotiation. It’s my email. My document and I wasn’t well. It looks like you and whoever you are scheming with are blackmailing me. That’s a crime. How do you guys have jobs. Lmao. On May 5, 2017 12:13 PM, "…." <…. > wrote: It speaks to the patheticness of you and your crew you want something that has to do with me that I own. I don’t care that you exist. There is a word for it obessesion. It's really not a good look. It is crime no matter what youve been told.   I dont wish to know any if you past bhlpc for obvious reasons. This will get handled the easy way or the me fucking ALL your shit ALL the way up. I don’t play that shit youve list you’re mind. Do your jobs know theyve hired criminals. Unstable people whose lives hinges on mine. Desperate and pathetic. On May 5, 2017 11:33 AM, "…" <… > wrote: Please give gmail Bridgette my email. Im sure she has mouth i have an address phone number and email. Until then keep your mouth closed. On May 5, 2017 11:29 AM, "…" <… > wrote: Im going to make something very clear to two whores conspiracy is against the law and when i sue i know your full names and place of work EVERYTHING is going in the suit. You don’t know me. Play with fire if you like. You don’t  know what consequences are yet but you will.

At this point I call the police. Because I was originally very civil with her and it’s my property is its damaging property. So she’s not being honest about the list and how it’s being used and disposed of so at that point I can safely assume she has malicious and or criminal intent. I call the police. Unfortunately that is also mucked up. Will post those emails. As well.

Cyber Crime

---- > May 8 to sylvan.altieri

So I talked to you a few days prior in regards to a cyber crime. Extortion and blackmail to be exact. You requested I give you her email address which is michellepgomez@gmail.com. Her name is Michelle Gomez I called you the next day following up as you instructed me to do. At that time you said she had not responded to your email did I have a phone number for her. I called the following day after instructing Michelle via email if she didn’t respond to your email I was going to pass along her work number which is 703-816-4000. I called the following day to follow up with you but you’re voice mail stated that you would be out the office until June 5th. I hate to jump to conclusions but this is what it looks like. You talked to Michelle and decided to not only side with a criminal but you lying and saying you’re out on sick leave not only embarrasses me. Puts words in my mouth fyi and tells Michelle a highly incorrect suit worthy story. But also I’m not a person that bullshits lolligags or procrastinates when it comes to business and things that belong to me. And I don’t do disrespect or criminals well. I do crazy when ive been crossed because i act in a civilized manner and expect the same in return. The fact that these people are not willing to act in a civilized way over MY property implies they have malicious and criminal intent. And sadly at one point I worked with these people. Dressed up business professional’s means zilch these days. You have no obligation to me but you are in uniform and you have began police work. I can’t allow you to put words in my mouth and I can’t allow Michelle to believe this squabble is anything more than you have keys to my house and you shouldn’t have had it in the first place. You are giving her the impression she can take this lightly. There are no consequences. That's incorrect. It looks like conspiracy from here. On your end and hers. See how this was supposed to be about her. I have to clarify that it’s two. I can’t make you do anything but I aint your dummy. A complaint will be sent today regarding this incident. A response is encouraged. But I won’t hold my breath. The fact I have to tell police officers this is start the world over. Should there have been something Michelle said that was valid or concerning hey Michelle said this. Valid point.

Re: Cyber Crime

….<…. > May 9 to Sylvan

Im going to give you the same the treatment I gave Michelle. I hope you feel better. But I really don’t believe your story. Unless you’re just a forgetful loose ends unprofessional cop. But again. Get well soon. On May 9, 2017 1:23 PM, "Altieri, Sylvan (MPD)" <sylvan.altieri@dc.gov> wrote: I'm sorry you feel that way. I am at home recovering from surgery. I have not spoken to her.

Take care

Sent from my iPhone

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Re: Cyber Crime

…..<…. > May 9 to sylvan.altieri, Michelle

So I did file a complaint with the police department and will be filing another because you felt confident enough to continue to lie and if for some reason the complaint or the people who received it tipped you off or helped you lie its conspiracy jail time and a suit. How did you become part of the case? How are you the case? None of these little girls are worth my cycle wipes. The fact that you are first implying a victim for lack of a better word is lesser than a criminal is throw you in a jail cell. The law is supposed to correct criminals to punish criminals you talking to them like they have options and choices. Criminals do tend to have intelligence logic and a plan that constitutes a plan and intelligence it causes damage or pain to someone else. Puts words in someone else’s mouth. Is a crime. They have a way of thinking and living that spits on the law and the rights of CIVILIZED people. Let’s make something clear it’s My property. The fact that Michelle is even throwing around harassment after she’s refusing to first admit she still has the document and sent it around and after she threatened me is she’s fit for a psych ward. Serial killer in the making. Its equal to chaining me to a wall then saying why are you still here? The fact that Michelle and her crew are fixated on me and something that belongs to me is one you’re owning I’m  a messy person...police email would get the special....you’re  jealous and you’re in the middle of the street begging for money while the light is green. Two you’re a criminal while working at a lawfirm placing doubt on everyone. Do not take my she took it line wrong. Michelle thinks she has power or that she holds power me sending you that email with the document was I put my hands in my purse pulled it out and quarters fell out. Michelle grabs the quarters and refuses to give them back. She’s poor desperate. I need to get on the bus exact change. Wants to embarrass me. Is a jealous person. I don’t give strangers blackmail. I act in an appropriate civilized respectful way. You’re jealous for a reason I give you that but you will be following the law on my watch one way or another.

Relief

State briefly and precisely what damages or other relief the plaintiff ask the court to order. DO not make legal arguments. Include any basis for claiming that the wrongs alleged are continuing at the present time. Include the amounts of any actual damages claimed for the acts alleged and the basis for the present time. Include any punitive or exemplary damages claimed, the amounts, and the reasons you claim you are entitled to actual or punitive money damages. For any request for the injunctive relief, explain why monetary damages at a later time would not adequately compensate you for the injuries you sustained, are sustaining, or will sustain as a result of the events described above, or why such compensation could not be measured.

Once it has been found out that the List still exist and or has been passed around. A list of names and ALL its recipients on Michelle’s end. A contract/promise stating the list has been deleted and all its remnants will be deleted and properly disposed of and that it will not be reproduced. Also the list shall not be mentioned and ANY and ALL THE people listed will not be contacted or be made aware of the list. The list never happened. You never received it. Know nothing of it. WHAT LIST. 2,000,000 in damages to be split among GUILTY parties. Meaning the guilty parties have to pay me. Jail time for extortion harassment fraud and conspiracy for people that have shown exemplary motivated and intentional malicious intent.

I will add 500,00 if my name any of my likeness GOES anywhere. And jail time.

[the-desolated-quill]

The Magician’s Apprentice - Doctor Who blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

I’ve had a few people sending me conflicting messages about Series 9. And I’m not talking the usual Moffat lovers vs Moffat haters type thing. A couple of people I know who don’t like Moffat actually like this series, and others who do like Moffat apparently don’t like this series at all. It’s weird.

Well, once more into the breach, dear friends. What have we got this time? A grey wasteland, a bi-plane that shoots lasers, and a soldier with both a sci-fi scanner and a bow and arrow. Yep, this can only be Skaro. Specifically the thousand year war between the Kaleds and the Thals. That made me sit bolt upright in my seat. I never thought we’d ever be coming back here. And it’s a pretty strong opening for the most part. The hand mines are pretty creepy and the reveal that the boy is actually a young Davros caused my jaw to drop.

From there however, The Magician’s Apprentice slides very rapidly downhill, headfirst, into a heap of compost. Why can’t Moffat ever just stick to one story and one location? Why does he have to constantly hopscotch to random times and locations in an effort to wrong foot us? It’s not clever or intriguing. it’s just annoying. On a second viewing it soon becomes apparent that the reason we’re jumping around all over the place is to pad the episode out for 45 minutes. Because if you stop and think about it, not a lot actually happens in this episode. It’s just all pointless and mindless prologue. Snake Guy is a prime example. It’s a great visual, but what’s actually the point of him? Couldn’t Davros have sent an email or something? We certainly didn’t need to see Snake Guy roller-skating along three separate planets performing the same scene over and over again.

From there we cut to what feels like a completely different story. All the planes in the sky have frozen in time, and this could have been an interesting premise to an episode in its own right, but it’s all pretty much chucked in the bin. Turns out there was nothing to worry about. It was just the Master sending a message to Clara. Again, utterly pointless.

Notice my total lack of surprise to see the Master alive and kicking after TOTALLY getting killed off last time around (in Moffat’s defence, it’s only painfully obvious if you’re not colourblind and were vaguely paying attention). I was however surprised to see the Master alive and kicking so soon, and now I’m worried that she’s going to become a recurring character like in the Third Doctor era. I really hope not. It was the classic series’ overuse of the Master that caused me to hate the character in the first place. But credit where it’s due, at least they’re showing some restraint this time around. While there’s still some sexist Moffat-y dialogue and mannerisms that ticked me off (like the Master fondling a Dalek’s balls), Michelle Gomez seems to have toned down the crazy this time around, so at least now we have a version of the Master that’s vaguely tolerable. What I’m less keen on is the way Clara interacts with her. While Michelle Gomez and Jenna Coleman do a great job playing off each other, I would have enjoyed it more if it had even a shred of believability. Considering that the Master was ultimately responsible for the death of her boyfriend, would Clara really be willing to trade quips with her?

From there we go back to Olde Worlde times for quite possibly the most cringeworthy part of the episode. The Doctor on a tank playing a guitar. Yes I know Peter Capaldi used to be in a punk rock band, but I’m not supposed to be watching Peter Capaldi. I’m supposed to be watching the Doctor. When are Moffat and co going to realise that this type of humour simply doesn’t work for this kind of Doctor? Matt Smith might get away with something like that, but when it comes to Peter Capaldi’s Doctor, it just feels so utterly wrong. Yes even the darkest Doctors have a light side and the best Doctors are the ones that can switch between dark and light effortlessly, but with Twelve it feels like Moffat is struggling to make anything that isn’t rudeness or brooding seem natural. It’s like watching your dad at a wedding trying to be all hip and cool for da kidz. It’s just painful to sit through. And what’s the reason behind the Doctor’s embarrassing display? Well apparently he thinks he’s going to die? But... why does he think that? He’s got no reason to think that as far as I can see. I mean, no offence, but it’s only Davros. Also, really Moffat? We’re doing the Doctor’s impending death AGAIN?!

And then it’s off to a space station to meet Davros, Except it’s not a space station. It’s Skaro. I legitimately don’t understand the relevance of this twist. Why trick the characters into thinking they’re in space? What’s the point? And why is everyone so shocked that they’re on Skaro. Where the fuck else would Davros be? Nando's? It just feels like a twist for twist’s sake. As does the Master, Clara and the TARDIS getting obliterated. Yeah, obviously the TARDIS can’t be destroyed and Moffat has done the death fake outs so many times now that this cliffhanger has no impact whatsoever. Wrong foot the audience too many times and we won’t trust a single thing you tell us ever again. If Clara and the Master are really dead, I’ll eat my Cuban heels.

Finally we venture back to what the episode should really have been about in the first place. The Doctor and boy Davros. I do like the idea of the Doctor’s refusal to save him maybe contributing to Davros’ poisonous worldview (and possibly even his medical condition) and it would help to fill in some of the blanks in Davros’ back story as well as take the Doctor down an interesting new avenue of character exploration. Unfortunately this all goes out the window when the Doctor suddenly points a gun at Davros Jr and seemingly tries to kill him. Now I do have issues with this, but I’m going to save it for my next review because I want to see where Moffat is going with this. But for the record, I’m very concerned about this (and considering the fucking disrespectful way Moffat treated the Brigadier in Death In Heaven, I think my concern is very much justified).

The Magician’s Apprentice is largely just a gigantic waste of time. There are whole segments of this you could just cut out and it wouldn’t make the slightest bit of difference, and the numerous twists and tangents are completely ineffectual because they’re either pointless or have been done to death. Not exactly a promising start to a two part series opener, is it?