#hira is just too fucked up already to notice lol

[eff-plays]

(re: hiraeth's reaction to astarion's confession) i'm glad i'm not the only one whose character was hurt by astarion's confession, especially since i haven't seen a lot of the fandom talk about it (or maybe i've missed it, idk). i understand it's an important thing for astarion to let out and i stood by him regardless but my tav did not take the news like sunshine and rainbows. if it's okay to ask how did hiraeth handle the confession in particular? were they open about their displeasure or did they just keep it internally?

Aah, I'm sorry Nonny, I think you possibly misunderstood the post, sorry for not making it clearer!

Their reaction was more in the sense of them regretting not turning him down? Because they have a lot of trauma related to being deeply devoted to someone who ended up betraying them in a very cruel away, so they basically swore off "real" relationships. They expected Astarion to betray them eventually and this "sorry I manipulated you" is that initial betrayal, so when he says it, they're almost relieved, because they saw it coming and it feels bittersweet to have it confirmed. It's weirdly comforting to them.

They assumed Astarion was up to something from the start and that he had no real feelings for them, it was just sort of a friends (?) with benefits thing to them for the longest time. And though they did start to catch feelings early on (around the mirror scene), they're very adept at ignoring those feelings anyway, so it wasn't a huge deal to them when they found out he was trying to manipulate them. The reason they went for him over anyone else is because he's so obviously shady and selfish that they assumed they'd know what to expect from him. Cruel people are predictable, etc etc. The guy who betrayed them in the past was literally the most perfect little prince and he ended up being a huge jackass, so picking the most fucked up weirdo was basically a safeguard against being hurt. They basically chose him on the assumption it'd go to hell, and when it seems like it does initially, they're like "Phew. I thought this'd be a lot worse, actually. I kinda saw this coming tbh."

Obviously they're hurt that he did it, because they'd hoped at least the attraction and chemistry had been mutual (and it is, but they don't know that and don't bother asking), but on some level they're like "Yeah, no, makes sense." They're sorta ready to bury it and move on, because tbh they've been through worse and they've also been on the deceiving end (ha) of this type of deal.

So when he admits he has feelings for them, that's what sets them off. Because now they're in danger of being betrayed, truly betrayed again. In a way they can't predict or protect themself against. Because if they agree to becoming "more" with him, that means it'll hurt all the worse when it goes to shit. Way worse than just being manipulated through sex. Because now their heart is on the line again. So I think they were less hurt by his confession and more upset that they accepted it/reciprocated at all?

So I'm really sorry I can't commiserate, Nonny! I think the main reason nobody brings it up is because he admits his plan failed and that he has real feelings for them, so people go easier on him for it. I do think it's 100% valid and deliciously angsty if Tav does get upset at his confession, though. He fully expects them to be upset and that's what makes it brave that he confesses at all. And if your Tav had real feelings for him and their encounters up until that point meant something to them, I think them getting hurt over it is absolutely justified and could lead to a lot of interesting headcanons and interactions. Like, a lot of Tavs, mine included, suspect something is up, and that lessens the blow a lot. So when your Tav is truly in love with him, his manipulation worked on someone he grew to actually care for. He actually hurt them a lot worse than a Tav who saw it coming. That's a really interesting angle and I'm sorry nobody else is vibing with you on that :/

I defo am even though 💖 Even if it's different for Hira.