#hinanami is all that's left now

[ultimateask]

Has Nagito passed away by the time of that 2030s Hinanami future?

I was a bit confused at first, and thought "C'mon now that's just mean!", but then I remembered Nagito's illneses. They just don't come up outside his FTEs, so you tend to just forget them... I'll be honest, I don't really know. Nagito's illneses's status are left extremely ambigious in pretty much all the Danganronpa media. We know that he at least makes it to his mid 20's in the hope arc of DR3, and we know that he at least graduates in the UTDP. But beyond that, we have no way of knowing. In DR3, he already lived past his estimated prognosis time. Maybe that's due to his luck? After all the horrible things he went through as a remnant of despair, his "rewarded" him with recovering from his illneses? Or perhaps he simply managed to live on just a few more years, and than pass away? In the UTDP, where Nagito lives a completely peaceful, fulfilling life, would he have passed away soon after graduation, as "payment" for the luck of being able to live those blissful school years?

I honestly don't know, I might have to think about it a lot more. But, just after I remembered Nagito's condition, the first scenario that came to my mind is that Nagito's condition has deteriorated slowly after graduation. With treatments, most of the worst syptoms are kept at bay. He's able to live day-to-day, but it's not easy. His mind and body aren't like what they used to be, he forgets things often and gets confused. He can't walk anymore. But he's not alone. His friends visit him often, providing him with support and companionship. As long as he has them by his side, he's happy. And doesn't worry about what lies ahead.

[mizumi-kahago-writing]

I know the algebraic expression of L-O-V-E [Kamunami/Hinanami & Yandere!Chiaki] - Chapter 3

Disclaimer: This is an AU in which the Chiaki AI got at least partially infected by the Junko Virus. This is what makes her become a Yandere and a bit out of character. This AU also entails Hajime and Izuru becoming more of a DID-System, instead of fusing into one person. The main difference, compared to the real illness, is that they can switch out consciousness at will. Also, major spoilers and canon divergence ahead. You have been warned.

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Chapter 3

Stumbling the room, a bit later than usually, Hajime greeted the already turned-on computer with a cheerful “good morning”. “Hajime, you’re late. What took you so long?” Chiaki pounded impatiently. “Ah, excuse me. I almost slept in and wanted to grab some breakfast before coming here.” He excused himself.

“It’s fine… it’s not like I’m more important than that…” Guilt tripping him out of the blue in a self-depreciative way. “Hey now, where is that coming from?” Hajime was being caught off guard by her sudden personality change.

“Well, I think you know. I’m just a program, an artificial intelligence. I only exist within the boundaries of this screen.” Surprisingly self-aware, it took him a second or two to respond. “I mean… yeah. But to me you’re so much more. You’re almost like the real Chiaki.”

“Almost?” She questioned in return. “The original Chiaki cannot be replaced, I’m aware of that. But you’re all that’s left of her.” He confessed.

“Please tell me more of how Chiaki used to be. I want to become even more like her.” The AI prompted him. “Uhm, let me think…”

“Chiaki loved Videogames. But that’s a given, I mean she used to be the Ultimate Gamer after all and…” it took him a while to answer further. “…she was loved by everyone in class and…” Another pause, he was looking for more things to describe her, but his memory was a bit fuzzy, barely remembering more of her characteristics.

“I don’t know anything else right now, but I think that should help you out already, right?”

“So, basically, I used to be a simple, basic girl. Unproblematic, uncritical, a little too perfect. No wonder you fell in love with her. That can be easily recreated in my coding…” This was getting a bit strange.

“Hey, no, I wouldn’t say that she was perfect in every way nor simple-minded either and...”

“Do you even know her… my favorite game?” Challenging him before he could even finish his desperate explanation.

“That’s easy! It used to be ‘Galaga-Omega’!”

“Right?” Second guessing himself.

“Yep, that’s right.” Chiaki confirmed for him.

“Hehe, see, she wasn’t so basic after all.” Not sure if he was trying to convince the AI or himself there.

“’Galaga-Omega’ spawned an entire genre of space-shooter-clones, all playing very similar to each other. Did developers manage to program more innovative games by now?” Asking him to update her database on that, as they were still cut off from any external communication.

On the top of his head Hajime couldn’t name any new video games because there were none released in the past three to four years, due to what the world became.

“Actually, we went back to playing retro games, they are a trend again nowadays!” He didn’t know how much longer he could keep the tragedy a secret from her. Lying felt bad, but it was a necessary evil to keep her in check. Remembering Izuru’s warning clear as day.

The topic of games to play went on for a bit before Hajime decided to pack up and leave for a while. “I know it’s earlier than usually, but I also have other friends, I want to spend time with. I hope you understand.”

“Who do you wanna spend time with?” Confronting Hajime about that.

“I dunno. Maybe Sonia or Gundham, maybe I’m going to hang out with Nagito for a change. You know you and him used to be close as well.” Explaining to her.

“Nagito Komaeda, the Ultimate Lucky Student. Do you like him?”

“It’s… difficult. He’s a bit over the top, most of the time, but I try to get along better with him. You know, everything starts with the first step.”

“I understand, I hope you have fun with him then, Hajime.” She sent him off with a smile. However, compared to the times before, her screen didn’t shut off, as he left.

As the door closed, certainly he was out of hearing range, her facial expression went dark instead.

“Of course. I’m just an AI, not a real human. Your real human friends are far more interesting to you…”

“I thought you would know… that I’m more than just a tragic sweet girl underneath this surface. There’s so much more going on within me.” Almost sounding like a cry for help, but no one was there to listen to her.

“If, if only I could shatter that wall between us and be with you. Maybe then you’d see…” The monitor turned off with a static flickering after she said that.

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« Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 »

[bootlegsymphony]

Being Hopeful [a *personal* Komahina writeup]

*major Danganronpa 2/2.5/3 spoilers ahead*

Someone told me to gather my thoughts into a post so here it is.

Note: Unless you’re up for a challenge to potentially reshape your opinions towards certain ships, if you think Komahina is by default a toxic ship in anyway shape or form, or if you firmly believe that Hinanami is “bestest Hinata ship OTP owo”, it’s not in your best interest to read this post. I’m not suggesting you are invalid or wrong, but you’re likely not the group of people I’m looking forward to having a constructive and evoking conversation with.

First off, I might have been recognized as an avid Komahina shipper, and my opinions towards Hinanami could be generally summarized as ambivalent/mixed/minorly favourable. I was able to acknowledge Hina/Nami’s relationship as of roughly equivalent significance in regard to DR2’s theme.

But it was impossible for me to consider the two relationships narratively equal, I was able to notice that Koma/Hina was a “meant to be” endgame relationship right of the bat, yet Hina/Nami reads as this transitory experience of an obscure puppy love, or “yeah that happened” that’s melancholic and beautiful. Evidently, the narrative strongly favoured Koma/Hina in terms of screentime, development, complexity, compatibility, and endgame potentials.

I wasn’t too confident about why Komahina screams an ultimate destination of a Hinata relationship to me, yet Hina/Nami never convey a remotely similar message. In many aspects, I didn’t ship Komahina in the past for the sake of “I want Komaeda to savour happiness” but placed more emphasis on “it would be wise for Hinata if he could ascertain that his future is with Komaeda”. However I couldn’t elucidate why I thought so.

But due to some unexpected changes in my personal life, it was so effortless for me to reach an epiphany why Hinanami couldn’t quite be the same Hinata-OTP as Komahina. And now I’m kicking myself for not being able to be more adamant about it earlier.

In short, I had a brief taste of how “true bond” or “true connection” functions. It was an estranged, uncharted experience to me prior to that “sudden change”. And in retrospect it’s unimaginable how I survived that bitter life of pure bleakness without it. But since I was able to discern the characteristics of a “true bond”, Koma/Hina, while being excruciatingly complicated and bitter in canon timeline, had a great foundation for that nonetheless, while Hina/Nami was, fundamentally “deficient” in this specific department.

Hina/Nami, either the DR2 or DR3 iteration, doesn’t go beyond being a fine relationship. It’s not bad, as adolescent crushes are typically not bad. It’s functional and somewhat sweet if Hinata was just some normal shy boy who at some point met a nice caring pretty girl. But a great, monumental relationship doesn’t come from being just fine, and Hinata is much more messy than a such-and-such average joe as what a part of the fandom preferred to project him as.

But Hinata wasn’t an adequate rival and foil for Komaeda, that ridiculously multilayered character likely in all fictions for nothing.

For starter, Hinata committed Izuru Kamakura and countless war crimes, for fuck’s sake.

I had this pessimistic outlook that humans aren’t truly designated at birth to understand each other unless they are. Real life Nanami being the talented, worthy Ultimate Gamer she was, even if she could acknowledge and validate Hinata’s struggles as a talentless person, and brought him some temporary comfort and solace, she could not understand the full spectrum of complications the struggle itself entails. Being the kind and somewhat compassionate person she was, she’d try to understand Hinata if he ever decided to open up, but she’d likely just go “yeah talent doesn’t really matter you should just be confident in yourself” as long as she’s not some Ultimate Empath like Makoto (or Junko) all at the same time. To her, Hinata’s decision to Izuru-fy is unfavorable, but not particularly tangible.

It’s somewhat similar to a moderately affluent person not knowing what an impoverished/economically-challenged life entails, they could never understand why it’s necessary for anyone to opt for crimes and prostitution and shit, if you could just “yeah money doesn’t matter you should be happy” your way out of it. Why is it necessary to choose a life path of crimes and prostitution? Why is it necessary to Izuru-fy oneself? It’s the perpetual predicament of mutual understanding in humankind. No matter how sweet and wholesome on the surface that ship appeared, Nanami would hardly ever reach Hinata’s soul beyond skin-deep, if the talent/worth debate, the rigorous societal expectations, the everlasting emotional quagmire of being under-loved and under-appreciated...everything which gradually carved out Hinata’s pivotal character (that we know of) from his embryo, was a non-issue to Nanami at core.

If there was a portion of Hinata yearning for true connection in an intimate relationship (which I doubt he didn’t), his relationship with Nanami would eventually turn insufficient or dissatisfactory, despite feeling nice on the exterior.

Normally, people don’t realize they’re empty until they’re fulfilled.

But who else struggled immensely with the entanglement between talent and worth throughout their life? Who else once resolved to obliterate their own precious being in pursuit of an almost delusional ideal of hope as Hinata did, so that they could potentially speak to Hinata on the deepest, hidden stratum of his soul?

Komaeda.

It always pains me to read Komaeda’s first FTE where he suggested Hinata’s ultimate talent could be “Ultimate Serenity” because Hinata granted him some inner peace “just by being there”. Knowing Komaeda’s mind it’s a nearly impossible feat to make him feel peaceful. Komaeda likely didn’t even consider that a legitimate talent, he inwardly viewed Hinata “being there” as inherently valuable but he couldn’t even tell. Yet Hinata failed to just, be there, be existent.

And, I always considered Komaeda sustaining himself being alive to be a monument on its own, yet 2-5 happened, for Hope, I believed.

I once had a mentally stimulating talk about how emotional and intellectual transparency lead to a solid foundation of “true love” among people with someone before. They even expressed, months ago, that if Hinata could just speak up about his problems with Nanami he wouldn’t have necessarily Izuru-fied himself.

Yet even being the aloof and reserved fucker he was, Hinata wouldn’t camouflage himself in front of Komaeda. Komaeda saw through him even if he was having a hard time deciding on how he should have felt himself. He voiced, various times throughout DR2, that “we have similar scents” “I thought you would understand me” “we’re both miserable bystanders” “I couldn’t see you as completely separate from me”. On the surface it seemed like Komaeda was being cryptic and dragging Hinata to his level, but given how we knew Hinata took even more drastic measures as escapism, were they even that different?

It was why exactly Komahina dynamic was so embittered and resentful in the canon timeline. It was not hatred, but involuntary intimacy. Hinata was emotionally stripped naked (sorry, not to evoke any erotic visualizations, just a convenient metaphor) when it’s not even Komaeda’s intention, and Komaeda’s always emotionally naked. It didn’t turn out well not because it was a fundamentally dysfunctional dynamic, but they simply met each other in the worst, most despairful and unluckiest timeline possible. With continuous manslaughters ongoing, it’s only palpable that baring your soul to someone as dangerous as Komaeda would be intimidating, but it still had that mesmerizingly entrancing aura, especially in Komaeda’s last FTE.

They had no choice of not knowing each other well.

Unless either of them died, which they both did. But an ultimate future was born and they were granted a second chance to finally reach the destination they deserved.

In a post-HPA scenario, Komahina was not only somewhat contextually implied as Hinata’s endgame, but it was deliberately set up as a generally hopeful relationship as well. Kodaka once suggested in an interview that post-HPA Hajizuru inherited Hinata’s emotions, so that he was able to sort out his considerably complex feelings for Komaeda as it left off; meanwhile with Izuru’s analytical skills and insights into human psychology, it would likely become not as cumbersome. With Hinata’s determination and persistence it would hopefully not only cure Komaeda’s terminal illnesses, but also “heal” Komaeda from his hope fetish and other cruddy coping mechanisms, with all the support and dedication Hinata could provide. Hinata, being emotionally identical to his past self, would likely occasionally experience insecurity and low self-esteem as well, and it could require Komaeda’s weird little method of presenting challenges/creating minor inconveniences for Hinata in order to help him build up self-agency and develop infallible self-assurance.

It’s kind of the Ultimate Love that survived all the trials and tribulations, and to think of that the Ultimate Tragedy gave birth to the Ultimate Love, huh, seems about right for our two Ultimate Lucks.

[pseudoneiiric]

@confettisuite​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ sent:  15 through 20!  /  accepting!

∗ 15﹕ what  is  your  favorite  dynamic  trope  to  write ?  

ooooh i’m not really sure. i have a lot of dynamics i like writing, but i think my favourite dynamics... hmm. this is really difficult for me actually. i love writing romance in general, and i’m a sucker for happy endings, but i don’t usually write strict fluff. i like things that have . oh! hurt/comfort. i think the term is hurt/comfort. but that’s not really a dynamic trope, is it... huh. i guess i just like. i like when two hurt people find solace in each other. i think that’s the best way to summarize it.

∗ 16﹕ is  there  a  recognizable  pattern  in  your  taste  in  characters ?

to me? yes. to other people? mmmaybe not? i’ve been writing a lot for this little section and as i’m trying to summarize, i’m realizing that while there is a rhyme or reason to the muses i pick up, it’s not really that... obvious? like when you know it, you know it. but it’s hard to explain otherwise. grief has always been a strong theme for me even before i had to experience it personally, as well as muses who either have strong ties to family or value family a great deal. i’m a sucker for altruistic characters, too, especially ones who don’t often get credit for what they do. characters who are generally disliked or left alone have a special place in my heart, especially if their actions aren’t proportionate to that dislike. but yeah, there’s a lot of stuff that hits different for me when i’m picking up characters, but these are some of the stronger patterns, i think!

∗ 17﹕ do  you  use  dictionaries  or  thesauruses  often  when  writing ?

nope! not really at all. i tend not to consult anything too much when i’m writing, cause it’ll take me out of the zone most of the time. if i’m writing something and i need to do research, i’ll always do it beforehand. and i usually just don’t want to pull myself out of my writing to look up a word or find a synonym. i just write, usually!

∗ 18﹕ which  of  your  verses  or  arcs  is  your  favorite  to  write  about ?

ooooh. this is difficult. out of lilian’s aus specifically, i really love writing her in her otherworldly aus, like... her good omens au, her hades au... i love thinking about her reality-altering powers! i just think she’s so neat! i don’t usually write too many verses for other muses, though talentswap hinata and sdm hinanami is always a classic. umm... yeah! i’m not sure what else to put here.

∗ 19﹕ would  you  prefer  to  write  short  &  sweet  threads ,  or  multi - para  replies ?

already answered!

∗ 20﹕ has  your  view  of  your  muse  changed  while  you’ve  been  writing  them ?

the short answer? yes. for pretty much all of my longstanding muses, i’ve had to re-evaluate them or consider them from different lenses, or... well, they just changed! i definitely think the most stark change was with lilian, since i started out writing her as genderfluid and eventually had her transition to being a trans woman. and a lot of her mannerisms ended up changing because of that. who else? definitely... i do think octavian saw a lot of change in the time i’ve been writing him, though i think he’s much more stable now than he used to be. (like, his portrayal. not necessarily mentally.) but yeah! i think most of my muses have changed over time, even if those changes aren’t as obvious to others as they are to me!

[komahinasecretexchange]

Title: The Flowers That Had Torn Them Apart

Author: @gravestone-monarch (Grave)

For: @creepioz

Pairings/Characters: Established Hinanami, Komahina

Ratings/Warnings: Major character death, blood, angst, unrequited love

Prompt: 1) Coffee Shop AU 2) Any Angst 3) Hanahaki’s Disease

Author’s Notes: So, hello there! I’ve never written Komahina or hanahaki before, so I’m sorry if some things seem out of place! (It also doesn’t help I haven’t played SDR2) (this probably isn’t very reassuring huh)

I know I was probably just supposed to pick one prompt, but I looked at the list and the story just clicked in my head

So now you have this!

I really hope you enjoy it! I did *shudders*

rEseArCh

For this so hopefully it’s up to standard!

Also I know it says Hinanami in the tags, it makes sense in the story (this isn’t a hinanami centered story I swear)

Once more, enjoy!! ^^

Komaeda had been getting his lunches at the Jabberwock for as long as he could remember. He practically lived in it at this point. Each day he’d come in, order, sit for an hour and leave. Day in, day out. He was lucky the little coffee shop hadn’t closed yet. Usually he has rotten luck.

But one day, something changed.

The something that would inevitably be the death of him.

He walked in one day and noticed someone new at the counter. Short brown hair, heterochromia, well toned…

Well, he was certainly attractive, Nagito would give him that.

He walked up and stood in the queue, checking his phone for the time. He was here a bit earlier than usual.

“Next!”

His head snapped up as he realised the relatively short queue had depleted.

“Ah, so sorry!” He said to the man.

“No problem. What can we get you today?” The person said.

“Mm… I’ll have the usual.” He said. The cashier raised an eyebrow, then sighed.

“Sir, this is my first day. What’s ‘the usual’?”

“Oh!” Nagito chuckled nervously. “Sorry about that…” he looked down at the person’s nametag. “…Hajime.”

“Mhm, it’s fine. Honestly, it’s already happened three times this morning.”

“Really? That’s almost impressive.”

“Almost, yeah.” Hajime grinned slightly. “Now, what’d you say you wanted?”

“Oh, right! Well…"

He gave Hajime his order, and seeing as there was nobody in the queue behind him, he stood talking to him for a few minutes.

He learned a lot about Hajime in the time he had. He was the same age as Nagito, and actually went to the same college, despite being in different courses. Nagito told him he wasn’t sure what he was planning on doing with his future. Hajime agreed.

"Yeah, not sure either, really. It’s a writing course, so it could really go anywhere. Journalist, author, scriptwriter… you get the point.” Hajime said, Nagito nodding.

“I see! Sure does give a lot of hope, doesn’t it? Knowing you’re not stuck on one path… it’s great!”

Hajime looked at him. “Yeah, probably. Oh, your order’s ready.” Hajime told him, writing Nagito’s name on the cup.

“Oh! Thank you so much, Hajime.”

“No problem. That’ll be ¥360.”

Nagito passed over the money as Hajime passed him his coffee. Their fingers brushed for just a moment. Neither said anything, but Nagito felt his pale cheeks flush slightly.

“Well, I’ll be sitting over there now. Bye, Hajime.” Nagito said, waving. Why was he waving? Was he on waving terms with this guy?

He was being awkward.

Hajime laughed, shaking his head. “See ya, Nagito.”

Nagito smiled back at him, almost a bit too wide, as he sat down, taking a sip out of his coffee. It tasted slightly different today, but… not in a bad way. It almost tasted better, actually.

“Huh…”

He didn’t pay it much mind, just enjoying the taste as he pulled out his laptop. He had decided to get a bit of work done while he was at the Jabberwock today. His next paper was supposed to be about lesser known or folklore diseases. After a bit of research, he had decided on a certain disease that had caught his attention.

“Now, how do I start this..?” He wondered to himself. After a moment, he opened his document and started typing.

The hanahaki (ha-na-ha-ki) is a fictional disease that affects people with unrequited love.

As he finished his coffee, he saved his work, closing his laptop. As he was about to throw out the cup, something caught his eye. Where he thought his name was, a series of numbers had been scribbled.

You seem cool. Call me, if you want

xxx-xxxx-xxxx

-Hajime

Nagito’s breath hitched. That was Hajime’s number, right? He couldn’t believe it. Hajime gave someone like him his number?

Woah.

He looked back over at the counter, where Hajime had started serving another customer. As he turned around to start his customer’s order, he caught Nagito’s eye. He gave one last smile before turning away.

Nagito smiled, putting the empty cup in his bag. With one last glance back, he left. Until the next day, at least.

Hajime and Nagito got to talking over the next few weeks. Hajime told Nagito his schedule (Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays) and Nagito made sure to come in on those days, if he couldn’t make it on the others.

They learned a bit more about each other over the weeks. Hajime was born on New Year’s, leading to parties doubling as New Year’s and birthday parties (despite him not always enjoying them.) Nagito was born on April 28; his birth month representing death, sorrow and horrid luck, but his birth date representing increased luck and fortune. As such, he’s always had a weird mix of luck, which Hajime just found kinda funny.

Nagito started getting staff discounts, which was great. Both were born into rich families though, so it didn’t make much difference to either.

Nagito did end up asking why he started working at the Jabberwock if he already had enough money to last him a lifetime. Hajime responded with I’m not really sure. I suppose I just… had a feeling. Besides, what harm could a bit of extra pocket change do?

Nagito got his paper submitted on time. Hajime helped him out at parts, knowing a surprising amount about the disease. Once he finished, Hajime congratulated him with a free meal.

Honestly, Nagito didn’t feel like he deserved it. Hajime’s friendship, he means. Sure, he was kind of frank at times, almost vaguely rude to people he doesn’t like, but he was able to put up with Nagito’s rants about whatever was on his mind, which wasn’t easy, considering his random theories and such.

He was nice.

Nagito knew he was falling for the man. He’d be a fool not to. The man was attractive, nice, understanding… yeah, Nagito definitely had a crush.

The days when Hajime wasn’t in work were the lonely days, as Nagito called them. They just felt emptier, since he started talking to Hajime.

Nagito wasn’t entirely sure what to do about his feelings. Becuase, let’s be honest here. 'Why would Hajime ever like someone like me? Besides, he’s probably straight.’

But he knew he couldn’t keep it in forever. It’d get too much to handle at some point. He was getting distracted in his classes for thoughts of Hajime. So one day, he decided.

He’d just tell Hajime so he could reject him. Get it over with. If he was lucky, maybe Hajime wouldn’t be totally repulsed. Maybe he’d still want to maintain a friendship! Wouldn’t that be great?

So that Saturday, he decided he’d say it.

Now, he was just counting down the days.

Saturday rolled around, and Nagito made his way to the Jabberwock. He probably wouldn’t stay too long today; he’d just say it and leave. But when he walked in, he noticed something.

Hajime wasn’t there.

“Huh..?”

Wasn’t that just his luck?

The day he finally decides to be honest, the object of his affections isn’t even there.

Well, that’s fine too. He can just come back in a few weeks. Maybe a year. Perhaps a century or two. Not too long, right?

He sighed, turning to leave. As he turned though, he slammed right into someone.

“Ah, sorry! I- Nagito?”

Nagito looked up at Hajime, who he had just slammed into.

“Oh, hello Hajime! I’m so sorry about that, I had no right to touch you like that, I-”

“Hey, hey Ko. What’d we say about the self-deprication?” Hajime said, raising an eyebrow.

“R-right. Sorry.”

“It’s fine. Actually, I’m glad I ran into you. I wanted you to meet someone.”

“Ah, has Hajime made a new friend? How wonderful!”

“Haha, you could… yeah, you could say that.” He gestured to the girl beside him, who Nagito hadn’t even registered until now. She had pale pink hair and was wearing a navy hoodie, holding her phone. He could hear faint Tetris music coming from it.

“Nagito, I’d like you to meet Chiaki Nanami, my… my girlfriend.”

Nagito could’ve swore his world just broke.

The floor felt like it was crumbling apart, the walls falling beneath their own weight.

“Hey.” The girl greeted. Both smiled at him like they hadn’t just broken his heart.

Well, they didn’t know, did they?

“A-ah… n-nice to meet you, Nanami… I’m- I’m so sorry, but I really must go. I- I don’t feel the best.” Nagito spit out that lame excuse as he advanced to the door.

“Oh, you need a lift? I could-”

“No-! ahem, I mean… no thanks, Hinata. Thanks for the offer. Bye.”

He pushed the glass door open and walked out, quicker than he had ever walked before. He didn’t live too far away, luckily enough, so he walked home quick enough, just desperate to get away from it all.

“Hm.” Hajime hummed.

“What’s up with him?”

“Not sure… a-anyways, what would you like?”

That night, the flowers started.

It was only a petal at first. He was sitting at his desk, booting up his laptop to take another look at his paper. Something had been bugging him about it, he just wasn’t sure what.

This wasn’t the first thing he’d done when he got home. His pillow was definitely tear-stained and he’d run his box of tissues dry. He wouldn’t admit that to anyone, though.

He had finally gotten over the throbbing in his head the crying had given him and sat down to re-read it when he felt a tickle in his throat. He tried clearing his throat, which turned to a full on coughing fit. At the end of it, he finally coughed it up.

A small daffodil petal, a bit smaller than his thumb.

Nagito froze, staring at the petal.

He just coughed that up, didn’t he..?

He looked from the petal to the computer screen in horror, not taking long to put it all together.

He thought the disease was fictional… but he had most definitely just coughed this up.

Nagito had the hanahaki disease.

He wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. Lucky for him, he’d already done his research, so he knew the deal. Flowers blossom in the victim’s lungs, eventually rendering them unable to breathe and suffocating them. The only cure was for the victim’s feelings to be romantically requited. You could also get surgery, but that results in you being incapable of romantic love, and Nagito couldn’t bear that. Despite knowing he didn’t have a chance with most anyone, especially Hajime, he’d like to make himself believe he still has.

Now, here was the kicker.

In most of the stories he’d read, the victim simply believed their love interest didn’t like them. But not in his story, oh no. Hajime was already romantically involved. That meant he most certainly didn’t feel how Nagito did. And if Nagito was going to avoid the surgery…

“I’m going to die.” He concluded, putting his head in his hands. He didn’t have enough energy or tears to cry anymore, so he just sat there, letting the cold truth set in.

It already felt harder to breathe.

It only got worse over the next few weeks.

After only three days a full daffodil head had come up, while he was in the Jabberwock, no less. It was getting increasingly harder to hide it in front of others.

Especially Hajime.

Hajime was usually very observant. He usually knew when someone was lying or hiding something from him, so he had to pull out his best acting skills.

Which, admittedly, were those of a teenager.

While he sat there, he was constantly clearing his throat, trying to force down the seemingly harmless flowers clawing their way up.

Luckily for him, the same person that put him in this situation was his unaware cover.

Chiaki.

As much as Nagito hated it, Hajime was now a lot more preoccupied with his girlfriend, which meant if Nagito needed to slip away to choke up a flower or two, he could do just that.

He didn’t know how to feel about Nanami. Sure, on one hand, she was basically the reason he was walking up Death’s driveway. But on the other hand, it wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault but his own for having these feelings

How does that one song go?

How could I hate her? She’s such an angel.

But then again, kinda wish she were dead.

Not to that extent, but that basically sums up his feelings about her.

Feelings very unlike those for Hajime.

He did a bit of research when he could. Why daffodils? Turns out, a meaning for daffodils was unrequited love.

And wasn’t that fitting?

He was marking the days. Appreciating each day he still got to wake up, not having been smothered in his sleep. In all honesty, though?

He’d rather be killed in his sleep than choked to death at a coffee shop table.

He was also trying to appreciate his time with Hajime. He knew he would never have that sort of relationship with him, not now. So he tried to make the most of their friendship with him.

It was nice, for a while.

But all good things come to an end, as they say.

He was coughing up flowers multiple times a day, now. He’d noted to himself that when he saw blood, his time was almost up.

Terrifying, right?

It really was.

He’d just come home from a walk. He’d started going on them a while ago, when he’d just got it. He hoped the fresh air would do him some sort of good.

It’s funny, really. A while ago, Nagito wouldn’t have cared if he was killed. We practically would have welcomed it.

But now? Now he’d met someone. And because he’d met someone, he was dying. Because he’d met someone, he didn’t want to die.

But it’s not like he got a say in the matter, did he?

His lungs were being overgrown by weeds that call themselves flowers. Horrid things that were worming their way up his throat every. Single. Day.

And eventually, blood would come with them.

So here he was, sitting down after his walk. He sat down at his desk, his throat wheezing as he did. It had been three weeks and four days, and each day suffocated him just that bit more. And right now, he was dizzy. Probably from the lack of oxygen.

Right on cue, his next coughing fit started. It lasted as long as all the others, felt like all the others… but afterwards, it didn’t look like all the others.

He opened his eyes to see what he’d been dreading. A horrible stain of blood splattered across his desk, almost looking pink in the lamp light. He saw two daffodils laying in the midst. Some would call this poetic.

What would Nagito call it?

A death sentence.

He could barely breathe. The flowers crushed his lungs as he scrambled to get his phone out.

Logically, he should call an ambulance. Emergency services, anything that would help.

However, Nagito wasn’t thinking logically.

And that’s not what he did.

He looked over at the old cup, tapping in the number scribbled on it.

He’d never see that handwriting again.

He’d never see him again.

His hands shook as he pressed dial, holding it up to his ear. He also pulled up his paper on his laptop, scanning over it.

Now he knew what he was going to add.

“Hello?”

“Ah, h-hello, Hajime! S-so sorry to bother you th-this late.”

“Mm, no problem. Something up?”

“N-no, nothing at all..!” He scrolled to the bottom of the document, typing quickly. “I just wanted to ch-chat, is all… you g-got a minute?”

“Ahh, sorry Ko. I’m with Chiaki right now. Mind if I call you back tomorrow?”

“…sure. That’s no problem, Hajime. Hajime Hinata…”

“Huh? Ko, you ok?”

He saved the document, plugging in the laptop to charge shakily. He wanted to say his usual; Yep, I’m fine! No need to worry yourself, Hajime. See you tomorrow, hm?

That’s what he would’ve said had his throat not closed up.

Instead, he fought for his breath. He fought a battle that he’d inevitably lose. Hands shaking, chest wheezing, he spoke into the phone.

One last time.

“H-Hajime…”

“Yeah Ko?”

“I-I think I’m dying.”

He dropped his phone to the table, his head following suit not long after. In his last moments of consciousness, he heard Hajime yelling through the phone.

“What?! Nagito, did you say you’re dying?!”

“Nagito, answer me!”

“Nagito Komaede, talk to me!”

“C'mon, c'mon! Answer already!”

“I- Chiaki, call emergency services to this address. I’m sending help, Nagito. Just… just hang in there, please.”

A pool of blood drying on the table.

A final call ended.

A bleach white head of hair stained.

A final message on his computer.

In conclusion, the hanahaki disease is a very terrifying prospect, and now that I have experienced its effects first hand, I can confirm.

The hanahaki is deadly. I, Nagito Komaeda, have been killed at its hands.

March 11th.

They just didn’t get there quick enough.

Emergency services got there moments after Hajime did, who had sprinted up the stairs to where Nagito once resided.

He was shocked to find the scene in front of him.

He ran over to Nagito, trying to shake him awake. But no amount of shaking could uproot the flowers that had torn them apart.

He was brought off to a hospital, but he was already dead when they arrived. It didn’t take long to put together what had happened, despite nobody quite believing it. With the document Nagito had left, the blood and flowers and the tangle in his lungs, it was determined he most definitely had the disease, and just managed to keep it a secret.

Hajime.

He just couldn’t believe it.

Nagito was just… gone.

That phone call was the last time he’d ever hear the poor man’s voice. See him smile or laugh, despite how unnerving it could be at times.

All of that… gone.

Just because he loved someone.

Nagito had never talked about having a crush on anyone. But only people with unrequited feelings got the disease, right?

So whoever he liked just didn’t like him back.

And there was just the smallest, miniscule part of Hajime that had a feeling he knew who it was.

He prayed to whatever gods were up there that he was wrong.

Years later, Hajime still can’t look at daffodils.

For all they mean respect, chivalry… rebirth, eternal life, new beginnings, all of which Komaeda didn’t receive…

They also meant unrequited love. The cruel mistress that took his life.

He used to like Spring. Now he can’t stand it. That’s when daffodils bloom.

That’s when Nagito died.

He still lays awake some nights, thinking about the man he used to know. What would have happened had they not met? Had Hajime never taken that job, would Nagito still be alive?

A question that would never be answered.

He quit his job right after, not wanting to be reminded of the man. Despite that, he wouldn’t let him be forgotten.

So now, all he could do was heal. Mourn him, and heal.

He doesn’t think he’ll ever like daffodils again. After all, they’re the flowers that tore them apart.

-End-

[drchiakinanami]

She Saves Him (HajimexChiaki)

I’m a little late to the party but! Here’s a little fic for Chiaki’s birthday!  And it’s Hinanami because reasons.

Summary: Chiaki’s class holds an after school picnic, and she invites Hajime along.

Rating: General

Read it on AO3 here!

She had started asking him to play games with her because he’d seemed lonely, and he was handsome, too.  His Reserve Course uniform was clean and tidy and he seemed to be ahead on all his studies, but she had sensed a sadness about him, seen it in his eyes.  She wasn’t sure why, but she was determined to make sure he felt like he fit in somewhere.  She’d like it if it was with her. 

So he started bringing his own Game Girl Advance.  Sometimes they talked, sometimes they didn’t.  She thought that he liked it better when they talked, so she made more of an effort than she usually would.

“Sonia is organizing a picnic for my class,” Chiaki announced to him one day, not looking up from her game.  “I think you should come.”

Hajime was quiet next to her and she thought maybe he hadn’t heard her. She was about to repeat herself when he finally said “I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Chiaki. Thank you though.”

She scuffed her toes against the concrete, feeling helpless at his response for some reason.  She really wanted him to come with her. “Well, it would be- more for me, I think.  I don’t get along with my class too well.”

“Huh?”

“What?”

“How do you… Not get along with your class?  You’re pretty personable.”

She lifted a shoulder. “With you, yes, I guess so.  But it’s harder to talk to them.”

“The one good thing about being a bland Reserve Course student.”

She snapped her head up from her game.  “Please don’t say things like that.  I don’t think you’re bland at all.  You’re my best friend, I think.”

She winced at her own words.  It would be nice if she could say something that she meant without accidentally undermining herself.  He looked up from his game as well, watching her carefully.

“You really want me to go to this thing?”

“I’d like to hang out with you,” she said, “And maybe it would be easier to talk to my classmates if you were with me.  You know?”

“I think so…  I guess you’re the class rep, so you have to go either way, huh?”

“Yes, I do.  Or, I should.  It would look bad if I didn’t attend a class event like that, even though the school isn’t organizing it.”

Hajime broke eye contact with her, staring up at the sky.  He seemed to be considering it pretty seriously.  After a few moments, he looked back at her and nodded.  “Yeah, okay.  I’ll go with you. When it it?”

She beamed up at him.  “It’s on Saturday!”

****

Saturday came and Chiaki went all the way to the Reserve Course dorms to get Hajime, just so he couldn’t chicken out.  To her surprise, he was already dressed casually for the event and ready to come with her when she got there. 

“You look surprised,” he laughed, closing the door to his dorm room behind him.

“I sort of thought you would back out,” She admitted.  “I’m glad you didn’t, though.”

He blinked, noting that she said it without adding ‘I think’ or something else to negate her own feelings.  

“Yeah?  Me too.”

Chiaki chatted nervously to him, a little bit of a spring in her step as they walked along.  A very foolish part of her wanted to grab his hand so they could walk that way together, but she stopped herself.  Besides, Hajime probably didn’t think of her that way.  She could think of plenty of pretty girls he’d probably want to spend time with.

There was a wide open park where Sonia had decided to have their picnic, and Hajime and Chiaki were the last ones to arrive.  The class had spread blankets out over the grass and were all sharing in the food that Sonia had prepared.  Chiaki smiled a little.

“That does look kind of nice,” Hajime said.

“Yeah, it does.”  

He surprised her then, by actually taking her hand in his.  He smiled at her when she looked up at him, shock written on her face.

“I’m a little nervous,” he said softly.

“That’s okay.  They’re nice!”

He laughs a little, and it sounds nervous.  “Yeah.  I hope so.”

Chiaki introduced him to her classmates, and aside from Ibuki giving him a very exuberant hug, Hajime got along well with everyone.  Fuyuhiko and Souda took to him right away, which Chiaki could tell Hajime appreciated, even if he wasn’t one hundred percent sure what to think of it.

They all sat down to eat, and Chiaki noticed that Hajime was a little nervous, but she was still really happy that he’d come along.  She planned on telling him that, too.  Maybe later though.  If she told him now, he’d just get all embarrassed.

“So, Hajime?” Sonia asked Chiaki later, when everyone had sort of split off to hang out in smaller groups.  Chiaki looked down at her hands, feeling strange not holding her game.  

“What about him?” She asked.

Sonia laughed, a pleasant sound that was light and tinkling.  “You like him, don’t you? Don’t deny it! I can tell.”

Chiaki found herself twiddling her thumbs, just to do something with them.  “Well, um.  We hang out a lot, and play games together.  It’s fun hanging out with him.”

“Chiaki, you can be honest with me.”

Chiaki bit her lip.  “I like him a little.  I don’t wanna scare him though.  I’d be a bad girlfriend, I think.”

Sonia frowned.  “Chiaki, I don’t think you give yourself enough credit!  Any guy would be lucky to date you, and Hajime keeps looking over here.”

Chiaki glanced up, unable to help it, and made eye contact with Hajime, who was already looking at her.  He smiled when their eyes met, and his cheeks turned a little pink.  Chiaki felt her own cheeks heat up and smiled before looking away from him quickly.  She did like Hajime, probably had since the moment she met him, but she didn’t want to say anything.  She couldn’t ruin the friendship they had.

“He’s just looking over here because I brought him here, I’m the only one he knows well.”

“Yes, well.  He’s just hanging out with Fuyuhiko and Souda.  They’ve taken quite a liking to him, haven’t they?”

Chiaki laughed. “Yes.”

The sun started to set, and Sonia called an end to the gathering, saying she didn’t want anyone to catch cold, even though it wasn’t even cold outside.  The others all helped pack up, and after lots of parting hugs the others left, leaving Chiaki and Hajme sitting under one of the trees in the park.

Hajime sighed, leaning his head back against the tree.  “You know, I didn’t think that would be any fun.  But it was.  Thank you.”

Chiaki drew her knees up, not really feeling strong enough to look him in the eye after her conversation with Sonia.  “I… I’m glad you came.”

“Mm.  Me too.  Your classmates aren’t how I thought they’d be.”

“How did you think they’d be?”

“I thought they’d… Look down on me.  For not having a talent.  But they’re kind of like you.”

“How am I?” She looked at him, without even meaning to.  He looked down at her and smiled lightly.

“Kind.  You think I’m interesting, even though I’m just-”

She shook her head, cutting him off.  “You’re not ‘just’ anything.” He huffed out a laugh.  “See, that’s what I mean.  You never let me talk down on myself.  I guess it still feels different when it comes from you.”

“Different?”

“I got asked to participate in this… Study.  It was gonna change my life.”

“Oh.”  She wasn’t sure where the change in topic had come from, but she also wanted to hear about it, so she didn’t question him.

“I… You, inviting me to this… You, really… Made me think twice about it.  You always try to get me to accept myself the way I am.”

She scuffed her toes in the dirt. “I like you the way you are,” she murmured, tugging her sweater sleeves over her hands.  

“I like you.”

He said it differently.  Like it was a fact. Like it meant something more than just ‘I like hanging out with you.’

She turned her head to face him again.  “Huh?”

“I like you. I want to be somebody who can stand proudly by your side.  And today kind of made me think that maybe I’m closer to that then I thought.  So I’m telling you… I like you.”

He was blushing, but he still watched her anxiously, waiting for her response.  Chiaki felt warmth crawl over her own cheeks, and she tilted her head to hide in his shoulder.  “I like you too.  I’d like you to be next to me.”

She felt him let out a breath that he’d apparently been holding. A comfortable silence stretched between them until he finally spoke again.  “Cool.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you… Do you wanna go out, sometime, then?”

She reached for his hand, watching their fingers twine together.  “Yeah.”

[flyswhumpcenter]

Bad Things Happen Bingo! The event where you send me requests according to this marvelous card! (Red cross is the completed prompt, dark red crosses are already completed fics and mint lambda-ish signs are prompts I’ve gotten requests for already).

IT'S BIG SAIMATSU WRITING HOURS BABY ft. that one AU I keep bringing back to life for one fic a year

That prompt has always screamed "47 Survivors AU" to me. To make it short for people who weren't reading my shitton of Hinanami hurt/comfort stuff in the summer of 2017: it's an AU where all three main casts survived Hope's Peak, which they all attended (with the DRV3 cast being the 79th Class, I love clichés), even if they later killed Junko for being ZETSUBOU (btw it's Maki who pulled the trigger). Also Mukuro got redemption and I don't really know how but everyone else did. Even Kork, but that's because a friend and I invented the New and Improved Kork:tm:. Yeet. Also, more info about the AU is in the "47 Survivors AU" series' page, if you have questions about the setting. I just realize I never wrote any real Saimatsu for this AU before today. They've been a background pair in almost all of my fics for 47 Survivors, yet never got any focus, the hell is wrong if your truly's, he doesn't know.

But like I always miss writing Saimatsu whenever I do why don't I fucking write more of it once and for all

------

Radio Requiem

Summary: A communication failure is all you need to lose track of someone. Kaede learns that the hard way on one day where she, truly, doesn't enjoy being the head of communications and information transmission. 

Fandom: Danganronpa (DR1/V3 characters, Everybody (or so) Lives AU) Relationships: Pre-Rel Saimatsu (Kaede/Shuichi), Kaede & Maki & Mukuro friendship, minor Kaede & Sayaka friendship

Wordcount: 2.2K words

Event hosted by @badthingshappenbingo

AO3 version available here.

-----

Kaede likes her occupation as the leader of the Communications Branch of her Division. She enjoys broadcasting music to cleanse the populations from despair, soothing the pain of people with well-placed words and to be able to transfer commands emitted by other branches and divisions to the people she’s assigned to communicate with. It’s mostly forces on the field, the Action Branch of the Fourteenth Division, and sometimes their investigators. It makes going to work everyday fun even during the apocalypse and the clean-up needed after it, even when she wakes up almost in the same place she works in, even if she sees the same forty people every single day. It’s fine, because she’s alive, because she’s surrounded by her friends and those who are more than that. To Kaede, every day is fine because she has an interesting and important position to fill, where she leads and is active all-day long, and there is seldom exception to this custom.

Today is not one of the days where she enjoys having this important position in the Division.

 It starts innocently enough, for a day where she serves as the main relay between the investigation lead by the appropriate branch and the rest of the Division: she’s tasked with assuring the communication between the team sent to a Despair-filled hole and her branch, relaying information between both sides and sending orders from the Administration Branch back to the ones on the field. This is business as usual, for her, these days: the Investigation Branch is discovering more and more zones where the Division has to cleanse Despair from the map, following a trail discovered by the head of the branch and ex-Ultimate Detective, Kyoko.

Speaking of Kyoko, she’s noticeably absent from today’s mission. That’s to be expected: people deserve their rest, sometimes, and Hajime kind of forced her not to throw herself in some exhausting mission again by fear of watching her get sick from overworking. Also not strangely enough, it’s combined efforts from Makoto and Shuichi who convinced her to stay put and entrust the mission to her second-in-command.

 And what a second-in-command it is! Truth be told, Kaede is looking forward to being able to mostly discuss things out with Shuichi, who accepted leading the mission (not without some doubts, but he made an effort and didn’t protest Kyoko’s decision). Of course, the latter didn’t send him there alone when he’s, frankly, not the strongest nor the fittest for survival in the Despair Wastelands. Instead, he’s accompanied by whom Kaede could only call a dream duo: Maki and Mukuro.

Their team is small because the hole is small and requires precision work without being spotted by a group of brainwashed renegades. There is no soothing music to play, no wide broadcast of their latest attempt at cleaning the world from misery: all there is, is following strict, military-like instructions. Mukuro is the one who’s going to give the orders about the field matters, but Kaede knows she’s the one who will make sure they’ll still be alive by the end of the mission.

 And the beginning of the mission is smoother than anything she’s seen in a while coming from how dangerous and perilous this stuff always gets. The anxiety pumping in her veins and making her body tremble with a sickening excitation doesn’t thump as strongly as usual against her chest, the expected dizziness doesn’t come to their usual meeting point. The three field agents communicate to her in real time, giving her short descriptions of the location (an abandoned factory, or rather, what’s left of its ruins, floor covered in dried blood and metal walls decorated with decapitated stuffed Monokuma dolls, nothing that scares her anymore), speaking of the people staying there they fight against. Exceptionally, she can hear the scream of one of the brainwashed followers trying to attack her friends, but she then always hears the weapon Maki or Mukuro hold in their hands and the voice disappears from her field of hearing.

They hold small conversations, when it’s calm, in whispers on their part. As expected, Kaede mostly communicates with Shuichi, who is guarded by the two more soldier-like agents. His voice is naturally fairly low, discreet and sometimes hard to notice unless you know he’s speaking and think of tuning into it. Yet, his words are soft, more to soothe himself than her, and she likes to encourage him with a few simplistic words, “you’ll do it”, “you’ll come back, I promise”, “Maki and Mukuto are with you, with them, you won’t be in danger”.

It’s not small talk, but it may have been just as pointless. They don’t really discuss anything of grand matters: Shuichi is usually terrified to speak too loudly, despite his quiet voice, and neither Maki nor Mukuro likes to speak more than absolutely needed. Kaede knows this is the downside of the job: she cannot break their focus, no matter if there are enemies nearby or not. Still, she takes this opportunity to enforce some bonds, make sure none of them feels useless or unloved, and she thinks she’s damn good at that job. This is where she feels like she’s needed and effective, and if Maki herself doesn’t speak against that, then she can only conclude that she is, indeed, competent and maybe made for that position.

 That’s until she starts speaking to pure static piercing her eardrums and forcing her to, for a moment, take off her headphones as not to damage her most important sense.

 The communication has cut off entirely on her and, in that moment, Kaede is blanking completely. Her mind doesn’t react immediately, instead nosediving into panic when it should have been way more useful that fooling around in her brain like that was going to solve anything.

Before she lets herself completely sink into panic, her hands activate to follow the usual procedure in case this happens. She checks the systems she’s using, communicators and operating system alike, makes sure she has a connection to the radio network, and she hopes that it’s the issue there, because Chihiro and Kazuichi will be able to do something about it; but everything is working fine on her end. She tries contacting everyone individually, and initially, her hopes rise up again.

 “Maki? Maki, do you copy?!” She screams in a panic.

“Roger,” followed by a gun recharging.

“Mukuro, do you copy?!”

“…copied,” followed by a shotgun going off.

“Shuichi, do you copy?”

Static.

“Shuichi, do you copy?!”

Still static. It’s like gazing into the abyss only for it to look back at her in complete silence.

 She’s left dumbfounded, realizing Maki and Mukuro are involved in a fight and won’t be able to reply properly until they’re done neutralizing whomever is in front of them. As such, she listens to firearms going off and on with anxiety, only able to tell her comrades are winning because the sound are near her, and she closes her eyes to forget about how bad this is going.

Sayaka must have noticed her sudden uneasiness, because she puts her hand on hers and asks her in a hushed voice is something has gone wrong. Kaede replies with a small nod, holding onto her headphones’ microphone for her life.

 The gunfight ends with the communications still functioning, so she takes the opportunity to get the answers to the questions bouncing around her head like machine gun shots.

“Maki, Mukuro, what happened?! Everything cut off in static suddenly and I can’t contact Shuichi anymore!”

“They detonated a smoke bomb,” Maki replies with a calm that, nowadays, betrays her own stress. “Used that to assault us from behind. When the smoke let off, they attacked and he was gone. We have no idea where he is.”

Kaede’s heart sinks to the ground, but she transmits the information to her higher-up so the head of the Field Branch can decide what to do.

“Are you two okay?” She asks instead.

“We are,” Mukuro responds in a stoic tone.

“That’s a relief.”

 Kaede gets an incoming call from Sakura, head of the Field Branch: search for Shuichi if the situation allows for it. She quickly relays the message to the agents she’s just spoken to, starting the new objective. Things seems to have calmed down for now, but the anxiety remains in her heart: no matter how much she tries to contact Shuichi’s earphone, she can’t reach it, or she gets pure static and nothing else she can distinguish from the mess.

She’s anxious enough to listen to every detail coming from Maki and Mukuro’s lines: footsteps, glass crunching, breathing echoing. They don’t speak, all focused on the matter at hand, and her hands are all over the place. Sayaka puts a cup of tea next to her, giving her a small, awkward but honest smile, and she thanks her with a nod. Her mouth feels like it’s suddenly gone entirely dry on her.

 The silence lasts and lasts, seconds turning into minutes and the clock seemingly freezing on her, the activity in the office unable to distract her as she can’t let herself get her attention on anything but the mission at hand. It’s not just for her, clearly not: she’s worried for Maki and Mukuro, for what could happen to them, even if they inform her of more and more details the more they distance themselves from their starting point (much to her relief and pleasure to know what’s happening to these two), and she’s even more concerned for Shuichi whose whereabouts are absolutely unknown.

Kaede prepares herself for the worse. They haven’t been able to tell where and how he was for more than half an hour: he can’t be unharmed when he’s gone off their radars for so long. At best, he’s injured and trapped somewhere, all alone, but this way not surrounded by enemies; at worse, he’s already dead and they’re searching for a corpse to bring back to the Division and hold funerals for. She tries her best not to picture him as one of the many cadavers she’s seen ever since the apocalypse started, fighting her hardest against the morbid part of herself.

 Nervously, she hums to herself, waiting for a real update. The song’s identity doesn’t matter, that’s not the point. She isn’t here to do a soothing concerto, she’s here to assure a relay she failed to secure entirely, and guilt is clawing at her throat. She’s failed accomplishing the one mission she was assigned by her higher-ups, let down Kyoko for putting her second-in-command in danger, and, most of all, she’s abandoned her most precious friend, the one who is more than a friend in fact, to the horrors of the brainwashed.

How is she supposed to face anyone else, now that she’s let every single one of them down?

 “Kaede! Kaede, do you copy?!” Maki’s urgent tone gets her back to her headphones right as she’s about to slap herself for daydreaming.

“Y-yes, I copy! What’s wrong?!”

“We’ve found him.”

She lets out the biggest sigh of relief before pulling herself back together, drying her tears with the sleeves of her blazer.

“Problem: we’re surrounded by Despair followers. They’re armed with knives, one of them has a gun. If we shoot, they spot us. We’ll contact you again when we’re done.”

“Roger.”

 Kaede presses another button to transmit the information back to the Field and Investigation Branches. She’s certain Shuichi is still alive and breathing by now: Maki would have told her otherwise, wouldn’t make the suspense last and get worse for everyone involved. Mukuro and she know what they’re doing more than Kaede could ever pretend to, so she stays quiet and focus, listens to firearms going off and people screaming in pain, hearing the same propaganda-worthy slogans get repeated and repeated as the Division does its job.

Eventually, the sound quiets down and she can hear his breathing, fast and febrile, as she’s always heard it, even if it’s slightly worse. She doesn’t let herself cry in relief despite the intensity of the emotional rollercoaster hitting her full force by now, her body untensing in one go and leaving her vulnerable but euphoric.

 “Kaede?” A welcome soft voice comes back to her, timid, as footsteps are heard again. “Kaede, do you hear me?”

“Shuichi, you’re back with us?!”

“Yeah… Sorry for the scare,” he coughs loudly, gritting his teeth, “I didn’t see them coming for me. My earphone broke when I fell. I’m borrowing Maki’s for the time being, I’ll give it back to her soon.”

“Are you alright? You sound like you’re in pain.”

“I think I broke my wrist or something, but I’ll be fine. Again, sorry for scaring you and the others so much.”

“It’s fine, Shuichi, it’s not your fault. We’re just relieved that you’re safe and back to us now.”

 Oh, before he gives the earphone back, she needs to tell him one last thing.

“You don’t even know how happy I am to be able to talk to you, Shuichi.”

“I’m glad we can speak together too, Kaede. I’ll have to leave you for now, see you later.”

 With this, Maki takes her earphone back while she regains her enthusiasm. Everything has been fine, today; and even if the stress she stored until now crashes down into exhaustion, she’s happier than anything she could be feeling right now.

[aleenya]

first date / / hinanami prompt 01

@hinanami-week

First date prompt! <3 I love these babies from my childhood skghj. This is a bit of a long rambling mess but I hope someone finds enjoyment in it!

There was a reason Chiaki failed at dating sims. Beyond the obvious fact of how she was a girl of very little romantic experience, there was also the dilemma of just how frustratingly confusing people could be. Yes, even the weird 2D ones. Whilst the fast pace of arcade fighting games or the tricky logic riddles of puzzle games had her barely breaking out in a sweat, there was something profoundly next-level about taking someone's future - their happily ever after, so to speak - into her own hands and bringing about the optimal result. It was a responsibility she couldn't be trusted with. Kind of like how she couldn't be responsible for her own breakfast in the morning. Or for a healthy sleeping schedule. Oops. So, it was rather ironic that she'd somehow ended up with a boyfriend, even with her notoriously bad track record at breaking hearts and peeping on girls in the bathroom. (Hey, anime always did it, how was she supposed to know that was an automatic hit to the relationship flag she was trying to trigger?) With how constantly she failed at first dates in video games, the dreaded real-life first date of her own seemed like a loss just waiting to happen. Which was why, the week before it was due to occur, she'd holed herself up in her room with nothing but her trusty DS and PSP, five dating sims of various length and quality, and a copy of Animal Crossing - for when she inevitably needed a break, of course. The plan was this: she'd pour hours, hours, into clocking all five dating sims at nothing less than a 100% completion rate. No guides because that was cheating, and it wasn't like there was some walkthrough for her own date that she could keep checking throughout, though that would be ideal. Even if slightly under-handed. Oh well. She was snuggled up in the thick fluff of her weighted blanket; a bag of crumpled chips and five soda cans perched precariously on a pillow; she was ready for anything the next grueling week might throw at her. With the determination that only a true Ultimate Gamer could possess, Chiaki puffed out her cheeks in defiance of fate and set about her quest. Day one was easy enough. She'd managed to get around six hours into her first play-through with minimal errors. It was only once she'd chosen a girl to "seduce" (these games really were weird) that problems started to arise. Multiple choice questions of the proper conversational avenue to travel down never failed to muddle up her brain. Three choices were hard enough - how was she going to cope on her own date when there would be an endless array to choose from? The very thought sent anxiety swirling into the pit of her stomach. Maybe this was a good time to take that Animal Crossing break. The Animal Crossing break lasted two days. Day four was when Chiaki got serious again - and also when a pesky knock on the door interrupted her intense train of thought. "Come in," she called without taking her eyes off the screen. Yellow light pooled in from the hallway and cut through the stale darkness of her room. If Chiaki had been a vampire like the one she was trying to chat up in her visual novel then maybe she would've hissed and retreated further into her blanket cove. Which she did. Maybe she really was a vampire. That would explain the anemia. "Ugh. It reeks." A familiarly squeaky voice shattered the comfortable silence Chiaki had worked so hard on establishing. Saionji strode in pinching the bridge of her nose with Sonia and Akane at her tail. "Congrats, you've officially become a basement dweller." Chiaki peeked out from her cave of blankets, drawn like a moth to flame by the wafting scent of fresh food. "Oh. Hey guys. Long time no see." "We brought food," Sonia said with a lift of her arm to reveal the picnic basket dangling there. "We figured you might appreciate something of more ... sustenance." Akane then switched on the light, which summoned stars to glitter and dance within Chiaki's vision. All three girls let out audible gasps. "Chips? Seriously?" Akane again. Chiaki had burrowed deeper into her blanket fort in order to grant her throbbing eyes some small amount of reprieve. "Chiaki, you seriously can't have been living on cola and a bag of potato chips for the past four days!" Suddenly, the blanket was whipped out from over her head. Hiyoko plucked the console out of her hands before a very sleep-deprived Chiaki had a chance to react. "My Vampire Girlfriend? Okay, I was joking before, but you really have become a virgin basement dweller." Chiaki pointedly decided to ignore the mischievous young girl and directed her attention onto the basket that Sonia placed in front of her. Opening it up, she was greeted by a bento box ripe with fresh sushi, fluffy rice and spring rolls. "Courtesy of Hanamura," said Akane, "but don't worry, I can guarantee it's not spiked this time." Saionji huffed and dropped the DS. Chiaki was tired, but not tired enough to fail at catching her baby mid-air. "What's that look for?" "Don't act like you don't know!" They were a pleasant, albeit distracting, surprise. And so, for the rest of the day, Chiaki found herself unwillingly placed on a side quest. Sonia, Akane and Hiyoko had taken it upon themselves to clean her room up, with the latter grumbling and complaining but ultimately putting in the most work out of everyone. Sonia ended up at Chiaki's side, badgering her with questions about what game she was playing and, when Chiaki answered, why. "A practice run," said Chiaki simply, barely reacting as an empty cola can bounced off her head. "Sorry," Akane called sheepishly, "that was meant for the rubbish bin." "A practice run ...? Oh!" Sonia's face lit up. "Don't tell me! Do you have a date?" "Maybe. Tomorrow." Saying it out loud, the passage of time sunk into Chiaki with a force she hadn't expected. In a rare show of defeat, she allowed the DS to slip from her hands and topple to the floor. "But it's no use. I haven't learned anything. What am I even supposed to do?" Sonia picked up her DS, glanced at the screen, then dropped it in a striking flash of surprise. "I'm guessing not that," she said. Hiyoko peeked over her shoulder. "Aw man, even pixelated you can tell it's small." "Give me that!" Akane snatched up the console and showed the screen to Chiaki. "Seriously, this is like the worst guide you could have for this. It's not gonna teach you anything because it's not real." "That's not true," Chiaki quietly countered, "just because games aren't real doesn't mean they can't teach stuff." "Maybe, yeah, but not this type of game. You want advice? Then here's the best I can offer. Just be yourself!" "Myself?" Chiaki tilted her head. "But ... what if he doesn't like myself?" "Oh for the love of - he wouldn't be going on a date with you if he didn't, numbnuts!" Hiyoko gently thumped her fist down on Chiaki's unruly mop of hair. "That's true," Sonia said, "besides, who wouldn't like you for who you are? We certainly do!" When the trio had finally left with good luck wishes and pleas that she at least eat half the bento tonight, Chiaki found herself alone in a spotless room with a less-than spotless mind. They'd given her a lot to think about, more than the dating sim had in three days in fact. Just be myself. She didn't sleep that night. Chiaki kept powering through her dating sim, the four others still lying in a dejected heap at her side. Even if she wasn't taking strict lessons from it anymore, the idea of giving up and never completing it felt like a cardinal sin. She'd come this far; what was another twenty hours of gameplay in the grand scheme of things? On the dawn of the fifth day, there was another knock on her door. When they didn't come in upon her calling out that it was alright to, Chiaki was forced to untangle herself from her nest and answer it. Even though it was to be expected, the very image of Hajime standing in her doorway sent a jolt to her heart. "Ah, sorry." He threw up his hands in an apology, perhaps thinking he'd woken her up from a nap. Chiaki wasn't one to lose her cool. This definitely stood true now, but still, she couldn't help flushing slightly. She'd been so engrossed in her game that she'd nearly forgotten all about what she'd spent all week preparing for in the first place. "You don't have to apologize," she murmured, turning her back on him and retreating into the familiar darkness, "come in. You're very welcome." Hajime seemed a tad nervous as he slowly slipped his way inside. "What's wrong? Have you never been in a girl's room before?" It was supposed to be a joke, but it provoked a flustered reaction from Hajime and a stream of fumbled failed sentences. "Kidding." Chiaki flopped back into her blanket nest and patted at the crumpled spot at her side. Glancing side to side, Hajime made his way to where she'd made herself comfortable and collapsed in turn. "I've been worried about you," he began as he pulled at the cuff of his shirt. "You haven't replied to any of my texts. You've been eating, right?" "Sorry." He'd sent texts? Chiaki hadn't looked at her phone since the start of the week. "I've been really busy practicing." "Practicing? For what?" "For today." She showed Hajime her screen. He recoiled. "Oh ... I didn't realize you were into those kinds of games, Chiaki." "I'm not," she replied, shoulders slumping and a sigh floating off her lips, "can you keep a secret, Hajime?" With how serious she said it, Hajime's expression turned grave. "Sure, I guess?" Chiaki threw him the most serious look she could muster, complete with her cheeks puffed out in a pout and eyebrows furrowed tightly into creases. Her hands unconsciously squeezed at the console she still held. "Dating sims are my kryptonite." "Oh ... Dating sims are your - wait, what?" "I'm really bad at them," Chiaki said. She was unable to keep a tinge of sadness from her voice. "Not that I usually mind. But ever since last week, when you said you wanted us to go out somewhere, I thought that I should be prepared. It's no use though. I guess, on the bright side, I did make it to the H scene." She flashed her screen again, to which Hajime, with a sheepish smile, pushed it back down. "How about we don't take advice from porn games, yeah? They're not exactly the real deal." "Huh. Akane said the same thing." "She did?" "She said I should just be myself. But I don't know if myself is all that much fun to be around." "Why wouldn't it be?" Hajime scooted closer. "If I wanted a 2D girl, I'd just play ..." He picked up one of her strewn dating sims at random and pulled a face at the title, "Sexy Magic Witch School - seriously, Chiaki, where do you get these?" "I have my sources." "I'm not sure if I want to know what those are ..." Chiaki had to admit, with how natural their conversation was flowing, she could get used to this. She hadn't even hit her pause button yet. Unable to keep the smile from her face, Chiaki turned back to her DS and asked, "so what would you like to do?" "As in?" "You know. Dating. That kind of stuff. We're supposed to go out, yeah?" "We're not supposed to do anything," Hajime replied. "Really, I'm ... as good at these types of things as you are. But we don't have to go anywhere if you don't want, or do anything that you don't want. That's not what dates are about." "They aren't?" Why did everything have to be so complicated? Her dating sims had explicitly said otherwise, yet Hajime was saying they didn't have to do anything. Before she could formulate a proper response, Hajime changed the topic unexpectedly and asked, "have you slept?" Oh. Sleep. "I've had one or two naps," she mused, thinking back on her five days of intensive training. She'd been so caught up and involved in what she was playing that she'd barely allowed herself the luxury of sleep. She was definitely starting to feel it now. Chiaki rubbed at her sore eyes and swallowed a yawn. Hajime's flustered expression gave way to amusement. He sighed, but Chiaki didn't miss the smile on his lips. "Seriously, what am I going to do with you?" "Hopefully not this." She flashed her DS screen again and Hajime spluttered in embarrassment. "I like you, Hajime, but you haven't triggered that relationship flag yet." "You know that's not what I meant!" She laughed. Hajime climbed to his feet and extended his hand; she took it, stumbling upwards on wobbly knees and feeling the ache in her legs that could only accumulate from five days of non-stop sitting with only the occasional bathroom break. "But is it really okay?" she asked as he guided her to the bed and tossed her blanket back over her body. "I know you were really looking forward to this all week." "Who's to say this isn't our first date now?" said Hajime. "Ah, but, if you'd rather I go ..." She grasped his hand and tugged him down onto the bed. Hajime let out a less than manly squeal and fell down on top of her, which Chiaki recalled was a very common trope in My Vampire Girlfriend that signaled she was on the right romantic route. So she'd done something right after all! This was definitely a romance flag trigger. Chiaki could almost see the achievement popping up on Steam. "Path unlocked," Chiaki said cryptically, with a teasing smile. Hajime scrambled off, face red, and Chiaki twisted around onto her side. "You can sleep next to me, if you'd like," she said. "I can't think of a better way to have a date." Though visibly embarrassed and tense, he did lie down to face her. Chiaki grabbed his hand and intertwined her fingers with his own. "Jeez," he said, "why am I not surprised that napping is your idea of a perfect first date?" "It's not yours?" she quizzed, voice thick with the encroaching haze of unconsciousness. "I'm not opposed," he hummed. "Good." Pause. Save progress. And take a screenshot - just for good measure. At least, that's what Chiaki would have done if this were a dating sim event with a cute CG. But it wasn't. And that was for the best. Chiaki had decided that in this case, nothing could beat the real thing.

[ao3feed-danganronpa]

green eyes

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3gtnTgr

by n4gitok0

the timeline is post neo-world program: where all the past remnants now reside on Jabberwock island, learning to believe in hope, each other, and themselves again. where everyone has their friends back, hajime is still left unsure of who he is, and who he is supposed to be close with. he does take interest in the white-haired, green-eyed, tall boy who constantly keeps him curious.

Words: 1953, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: M/M

Characters: Hinata Hajime, Komaeda Nagito, Kamukura Izuru, Nanami Chiaki, Enoshima Junko, Tsumiki Mikan, Soda Kazuichi, Sonia Nevermind, Mioda Ibuki, Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko, Pekoyama Peko, Koizumi Mahiru, Saionji Hiyoko, Tanaka Gundham, Chou Koukou Kyuu no Sagishi | Ultimate Imposter, Owari Akane, Nidai Nekomaru, Hanamura Teruteru

Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Hinata Hajime & Komaeda Nagito, Kamukura Izuru/Komaeda Nagito, Kamukura Izuru & Komaeda Nagito

Additional Tags: sdr2 - Freeform, super danganrona 2: goodbye despair, post-neo world simulation, Jabberwock Island (Dangan Ronpa), Komahina - Freeform, komakura - Freeform, kumakoma, chiaki's death is mentioned, NSFW, mlm, Bisexual Hajime, gay nagito, Sex, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Light BDSM, Fluff, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, injuries, Mild Gore, Mild Blood, Explicit Language, Internalized Homophobia, Grief/Mourning, Hinanami - Freeform, post-despair world, Island life, they are all 22 now, sondam mention, soapies mention, bandaid mention, Junko is mentioned, Alcohol, References to Drugs, Eating Disorders, Mental Health Issues

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3gtnTgr

[eludum]

38 for hinanami!!!! fuck!!!!!!

[ types of kisses prompts // selectively accepting ]

38.  Whispering “I love you” before a chaste, delicate kiss.

@triggertruth talentswap time

when they were little, things had been simple. they’d each had their respective dream, with neither of them understanding what it would truly take to achieve that dream. over time, chiaki’s dream slipped from her fingers like fine grains of sand, until she was left with just a few scattered grains. he was able to hold onto it, but at the price of his privacy. the only thing that hasn’t changed is... that she still wants to be by his side, even now.

but it’s not easy. he’s famous, and chiaki’s desperate not to draw attention to herself. she’s seen how girls like her get torn apart by jealous fans online. it’s not like they can say anything she hasn’t already said to herself, about how she doesn’t deserve him and how it’s not going to last, but she still hides from public scrutiny. she made him agree that they’d keep things quiet, hidden from the limelight. they needed to be secretive enough that barely anybody even speculated about the nature of their relationship. there were already whispers among the other members of the reserve course, her peers keeping an eye on the two of them whenever they met by the fountain to play games or talk.

chiaki lingers near the doorway, watching hajime pack his things. she can’t hide the sadness in her eyes. he’ll be back, she tells herself. it’s just a short tour. and she can’t go with him, because she has school, and because when he’s in the public eye, they need to keep their distance.

he slings his bag across his shoulders. “alright,” he breathes out. “that’s the last of it.”

chiaki picks up a box. hajime eyes her. “you don’t need to help,” he reminds her gently. “i can carry it.”

she plasters a smile on her face. “i want to see you off, at least,” she tells him. she starts gathering some of his things, straining to get them out the door and into the van that’s waiting out front.

once they’re done, she sits on the edge of the open rear of the van, her legs dangling down, toes just barely touching the asphalt beneath. “is that everything?” she asks him. she’s wary of every potential gaze on them, enough so that when he sits down next to her, she shuffles away, hands clenched in her lap.

“yeah.” and for a moment, they just sit there, gazing off into the distance. they already said their goodbyes inside, but they’re still together now, and it’s... awkward, and weird. chiaki doesn’t know what to say. she just knows how lonely she’s going to be without him.

“hey.” he speaks up, briefly. she turns to glance at him, and his next words are hushed. “i love you.” the kiss is quick, over in an instance; when he pulls away, his expression is tender. she’s shocked enough that she can’t even complain, what if somebody saw? her heart flutters, despite how minimal the contact was, just because he was willing to ignore the risk to comfort her.

after he’s gone, she raises two fingers to her lips and presses them there. she wishes she could have more. she wishes she could have all of him. but it’s too late for regrets now, she thinks to herself as she watches the van disappear as it turns a corner.

chiaki sighs. “...so cruel, hajime,” she mutters.

[shsl-shipper-gamer-fangirl]

"I jokingly told you that the only way I'd marry you was if you did this wierd outlandish thing, and you actually did it, and I'm kind of charmed." with... a Danganronpa ship of your choice, I guess? Don't want to make you write on a ship you don't like

A/N Here’s my thanks for sending me that prompts list. I chose hinanami for this and honestly I’m a bit relieved to find out that I still have some writing left in me. Hope you enjoy it!

“I know I say this a lot, more often with other friends, but what the fuck?”

“Hm? What’s wrong Hajime?” Chiaki asks with her usual calmness, completely oblivious to her boyfriend’s panic. Well, not completely since she at least senses his slight discomfort. “Ah, could it be… I got it wrong?”

If Hajime could be frank, which he was, he couldn’t honestly tell what exactly about this is wrong. Hell, he couldn’t even tell what this was supposed to be. He’s used to his friends pulling shit and dumbass stunts but Chiaki? She was supposed to be one of his more sensible company. Sure sometimes she’d do something confusing just never this… this outrageous.

This is Chiaki sitting too comfortably in the middle of a pentagram drawn with what Hajime hopes to be paint and not blood. The room is dimly lit because the curtains are drawn and candles never did burn bright enough. Has he mentioned that there were too many candles? He was sure that this was what a fire hazard looked like. And then there was Chiaki herself who has lipstick smeared all over her face except for her lips! And don’t even get him started with her outfit.

He doesn’t even know where to begin at how wrong everything was.

“Hey, Chiaki… is there something that I should know?” He bluntly asks.

She blinks, slowly, as if his question so absurd for her to comprehend. But she does eventually, and she was not at all pleased.

“Hmph!” She huffs and pouts at him, disappointed. “After all the effort I put into this!”

“Sorry, sorry! I honestly can’t remember what’s this supposed to be.” He apologizes even though he feels more confused than remorseful. “But I want to know. So if you’re not too mad, would you please tell me?”

She just pouts harder in response and although he knew this should have made him feel more guilty, it was hard to when she just looked cuter.

Only she didn’t think this was cute at all.

“Last week,” She says in a flat tone that told him he should already remember it with this hint.

He couldn’t.

“Last week?” He repeats, hoping that she would expound on it this time.

She huffs and he tries to at least not look like he was distracted by her adorability.

The not so adorable glare got his attention though.

“Last week you said we’d get married if I did this.” She says with arms crossed.

“I did?” He asks and she nods eagerly.

Huh, he thought that if he did say anything remotely hinting to this then he would have remembered. Clearly he hadn’t remembered. He thought of the odds that there was a misunderstanding. Probably high. Probably irrelevant considering that she already went through the odds.

Honestly, this was obviously one of those things he says in sarcasm and yet… she took it to heart. She even went beyond and actually did it.

He feels like swooning.

“Woah, you did all this… just so we’d get married?” He blushes the moment the question left his lips. It sounds more like a fantasy than a statement.

“Yeah, I did. Because you said this was your requirement and if it’s just this then I’m willing to commit,” She answers without falter.

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t fall harder for her at her resolve. She knew what she wanted and she wanted him. She didn’t falter at all.

Except she did falter, just a bit.

A mix of uncertainty crossed her face as she looks up at him and asks, “Unless… you don’t want to marry me?”

He feels as if a bucket of ice was suddenly poured on him.

“No I- it’s not that.” He tries to reassure(?) her or console(?) her. He’s not sure what exactly he was going for. Did he want to marry her? “I…” Sure he liked her but weren’t they too young for this? But it’s not like he was completely against it… and yet. “Marriage? I mean, isn’t this too soon?”

“Not really? At least, I don’t think so,” She says, deflating at his deflections. Her shoulders slump as she mumbles, “I guess… I was the only one who wanted us to get married.”

“But I do want to marry you!” He spouts and his eyes widen at his sudden declaration. When he sees how happy it makes her, he finally gives in. “Alright, fuck it. Let’s get married.”

“Really?” She smiles expectantly and when he returns the gesture, she tackles him for a hug. “Yes! Husband acquired!”

“Geez, don’t make it sound like you just got an item in a videogame.” He scolds her but it’s more affectionate than reprimanding. He places a hand atop her head and when she looks up, he finds himself looking away from her earnest gaze. When he speaks, his voice sounds smaller than he feels. “You’ll have to wait for the rings though. I honestly wasn’t expecting this. I’m actually embarrassed that you proposed first but if… if you let me, I want to do it too but next time with rings.”

“Rings?” She tilts her head in confusion. And then practically jumps at the clarification. “Oh, you don’t need to bother with that. I already have a pair ready.”

“W-What?” He gives her an incredulous look. He’s actually internally screaming at the missed opportunity but outside he tries to play it cool. “Aren’t you too prepared?”

“Naturally! We can’t get married without rings after all!” She giggles. “Is now a good time to get married?”

“NOW??”

“Yeah, now’s actually the best time to optimize a marriage.” There’s a shuffling noise as she fishes out something from her pocket. Her phone. “There’s a couples event in Never Ending Fantasy Online tonight and I want to register us earlier.”

He blinks.

“Hold on.” He has a foreboding feeling about this but it’s too late for him. He has to know. “Never Ending Fantasy Online is having a couples event?”

“Yes, that’s just what I said. Did you not hear the first time?”

“No, I heard you. It’s just…” What did that have to do with this? Seriously, what the-

Fuck.

“Wait, so the marriage you were talking about… was for this game?” He asks even though he already knows the answer.

“Hm?” She looks back at him with an innocent gaze that just makes him feel twice as foolish. “What else could it be for?”

“I-”

For a moment, he considers telling her.

He considers telling her of this shortlived fantasy where they finally tie the knot. He considers telling her how much he had been looking forward to seeing her in a wedding gown, walking down the aisle. He considers telling her of his idea of their married life where they’d be living together and maybe have some kids down the road. He considers telling her of how happy he would have made her and how they’d grow old together.

He considers telling her all of this.

“Never mind.” He decides in the end.

With a face that’s red and ripe from those fantasies.

“You look red, Hajime. What’s wrong? Do you have a fever?”

“Just a headache.” He passes it off with a groan. Thank goodness he has experience with rollercoaster emotions because he schools his face neutral.

He’ll get over it.

He’ll also probably cry a bit about it later.

“Yeah, sure let’s register now and get this over with.” He places his hands over her face and rub maybe harder than necessary. “But first lets get this horrible makeup off your face. Seriously, that is not how you use a lipstick.”

“Thanks.” She smiles too brightly. He thinks that it’s unfair that she’s this cute.

He’s already pulling her towards the bathroom to wash up when she suddenly stops and tugs him back.

“Oh and one more thing.” She starts.

He sighs. “Yes?”

If only the room was just a bit brighter.

“I look forward to those rings next time…”

Maybe then he would have seen her face— cute, hopeful, and just a bit redder than his.

[firedragonalchemistofcourage]

Hinanami Week Day 1: AU

Wait, I actually wrote something?! I know! I was surprised, too, but I had to do something for Hinanami Week! I’ve got a few more of these planned for the rest of the week, but I wasn’t able to get all of them finished before the week started, so I might not get all of them done in time.

That being said, enjoy!

“-And that’s how it goes.” Chiaki put down the book, glancing over at Hajime to see how well he’d understood all that. Judging from his face, not nearly as well as she’d hoped.

“So, I kinda get the first two. After saving the world, he travels back in time to save it again in the past, thus creating two distinct timelines, the one that he left, in which the world was nearly destroyed, and the one he returned to, in which he was able to stop the villain before the destruction ever happened. Am I right so far?” Chiaki nodded. “My problem is with this third timeline. All the Hero’s time travelling should have only created two distinct timelines by this series’ own internal logic. So where’d this third one even come from?”

Chiaki smiled and showed Hajime the diagram again. “The third timeline’s a little different. It wasn’t created by the Hero’s actions, like the other two were. No, the third timeline is more of a ‘what-if’ scenario, an alternate universe...I think.”

“...I still don’t get it…” Hajime didn’t understand how Chiaki could keep all this straight, yet still couldn’t even remember to eat breakfast half the time.

“An alternate universe is like another Earth, only different. Something happened in the past that changed the present somehow from what it is in the ‘original universe.’ Alternate universes can be very similar to the original, or they can be absolutely nothing alike. It all depends on how much that singular change affected the timeline.”

Hajime thought for a second. “So, that change might be something like, if I had decided not to tell you about the Hope Cultivation Project? If that hadn’t happened, I most likely would have gone through with the operation. And who knows where we’d be now, if that had happened?”

“Exactly.” Chiaki said, putting the diagram down. “Or like if I hadn’t asked you to help me wait in line for the day-one Gala Omega release, the clerk wouldn’t have mistaken us for a couple and then…”

“Then I might not have actually asked you out on a date that day,” Hajime smiles, remembering. “Which led to you introducing me to the world of gaming outside of just Gala Omega…”

“Which led to us going to that convention together…”

“Where I secretly bought that ring…”

“And I secretly bought a blue feather…”

“And we both ended up proposing to each other at the same time.” Hajime finishes up the memory, looking down at the blue feather pinned to his shirt, and the ring on his finger. “You know, I’m pretty glad our life turned out like this. Although, I’m pretty sure most couples wouldn’t be discussing video game timelines on their wedding night.”

Chiaki giggles. “You were the one who asked! But,” the smile dropped off her face, “seriously, Hajime...I’ve never once gotten this far in a dating sim before. Up ‘til now, I’ve just been going off of what I know from them. Where do I go from here?”

Hajime stood up and reached out a hand to Chiaki. “Who knows? I certainly don’t. But wherever it is, we’ll go there together. Now, come on, Mrs. Hinata. This isn’t Game Over. We just finished the tutorial...”

[mizumi-kahago-writing]

I know the algebraic expression of L-O-V-E [Kamunami/Hinanami & Yandere!Chiaki] - Chapter 7

Disclaimer: This is an AU in which the Chiaki AI got at least partially infected by the Junko Virus. This is what makes her become a Yandere and a bit out of character. This AU also entails Hajime and Izuru becoming more of a DID-System, instead of fusing into one person. The main difference, compared to the real illness, is that they can switch out consciousness at will. Also, major spoilers and canon divergence ahead. You have been warned.

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Chapter 7

After Hajime brought the news to Kazuichi, he still had his doubts, but was excited to work on a new project instead of dismantling and putting back together the same few scraps of metal. “Give or take three days to a week, then I’ll let you know, and you do the software part. I don’t know the details, but a USB-C drive will probably do.”

 The week ahead was spent with Chiaki and Hajime chatting the days away. Both fantasized about the possibility of them being back together soon. “You know, Chiaki? I think I’ve always had at least a crush on you. I was just too stupid to notice. So, I’m glad things turned out like this now.”

“Me too, Hajime. It’s just, I never had a chance to confess. But everything will change once I’m out of this machine and right next to you in the physical world.”

As soon as their hands touched on the screen, Kazuichi was calling for Hajime’s help from the outside.

“Hey, could you give me a hand? Imma tryin’ to get this thing through the door and it’s quite heavy.” Yelling, as Hajime held the door open for the young mechanic. “I tried making her as human-like as possible, but metal is still much heavier than bones and flesh, so don’t bother me, when she squishes you underneath her weight.”

Placing the artificial body inside the room, it looked no different than the Chiaki they both knew. “It’s one of my finest works, I’m proud of how it turned out. A real gem.” Kazuichi announced leaning against the machinery with a cocky grin.

Hajime couldn’t even contain his excitement. Even if it was just a robot, it felt so real. The skin; The hair; Everything. Even while the body was still lifeless, it was without a doubt, Chiaki.

“Hello, earth to Hajime?” Kazuichi waving a hand in front of his face, Hajime snapped out of it. “Oh, yeah sorry. Well, I better get started uploading the software. Thanks a lot for your hard work, Kaz. I knew I could count on you.”

“Yeah, yeah. Just be careful and don’t spill anything over her. I leave the rest to you.” Scratching his cheek and giving Hajime a high-five on his way out. “I don’t wanna interrupt a heartfelt reuining, so I better get going now. See ya around, Hajime.” Taking a last quick glance at the AI, before removing himself from the scene entirely.

 “Izuru, could you help me? You wrote this program after all, you should know how to compromise it properly and upload it into the body, right?”

“Have I ever at any step said, that I’d help you with this stupid plan of yours?” Was the instantly defeating answer of his.

“You know, I can’t do it alone. The risk of something going wrong is higher when I do it.”

“Then don’t. Leave her in this state. It is good enough.”

“You’re a real jerk, you know that?”

No response.

“If you refuse to help, I gonna figure it out on my own. Kazuichi said any hard drive will be good enough, so just watch me.”

And Izuru was watching with a heavy sigh and a shaking head.

 Through all the scrap laying around, he managed to dig up a hard drive Makoto had left last time he was here. “Now let’s check if it’s empty.”

“Hey, Chiaki. How big is your file size?”

“Exactly 4.2GB. Izuru wrote me efficiently, given all the features I have.”

Checking the drive, it had more than enough free space, despite some files already being on it.

“Alright, here goes nothing. I suppose I must close you first, then display your code. As I’m not really Izuru, I dunno how to access your files. Would you mind doing so for me?”

“Yep. Next time, I open my eyes, I will be in your world. I can’t wait, I’m so excited.”

Chiaki reassured and guided him through the process, as much as she could. His sweaty hands were shaking over the keyboard, but somehow, he managed to pack her up in an executable file with an automatic driver.

However not really in the most elegant way. A few scrap-files were transferred as well, but a bit of rubbish would be fine, it wouldn’t blow up the file size in any way that it’d matter. In the end, Hajime didn’t fully know what he was doing anyways and for the most part, Chiaki did all the work.

 “Where to plug it in…?” Turning red all over, as he thought about possible spots. “N-no, he couldn’t have. No. He may be a pervert, but he’d never… Right?!” Looking away in shame, he lifted the skirt the robot body was wearing.

No panties. “Gaaah- Hajime, get it together.” Slapping his cheeks, as he let go of the fabric immediatly. “It must be on the head somewhere, right?” Walking around her once, he indeed found a USB port on the back of her neck.

“There!” Ripping out the hard drive without properly ejecting it, he was too excited to care for that and immediately plugged it into her neck.

“Now for the power-switch…”

While searching the body thoroughly, Izuru decided to give him one final warning.

 “This is your last chance to stop whatever you are doing.”

“I know. Shut up.” Silencing him.

“I will take no responsibility for whatever happens next.”

“I didn’t ask you to.”

“This could end in you and all your friends getting killed. I will not stop her or whatever virus has nested within her.”

“Or this could bring us all hope, happiness, and a lost classmate back. I know you have a thing for the dark and gritty, but I won’t let your pessimism hold me back any longer.”

“Very well if that is your final decision. The power-button is located above her chest. Anything that happens from here on out, is solely on you.”

 Not wasting a second, he turned on the robotic body, as her eyes opened, glowing in a bright pink light. She sounded no different than a booting PC, as the data from the hard drive installed. Then a few seconds of silence, a quick restart. Her mechanical eyelids began blinking, as she came to life.

“Hajime! Thank you for getting me out of that electronic prison.” The familiar voice said way less enthusiastic than Hajime had hoped for. “Eh, no problem. Now we can do all the things you wanted to do. Why don’t we start by taking a stroll around the beach?”

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« Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 »

[scriptxwitch]

Title: Rewind Fandom: DanganRonpa 2 Synopsis: Chiaki Nanami discovers she can “rewind” deaths within the simulation. But at a cost. Characters/Ships: Chiaki, Hajime, Peko etc etc. Everybody from SDR2 is here. Some HinaNami which is either platonic or romantic based on how you want to perceive it. 

Everyone dies. Everyone is a murderer. Nobody is free of sin.

Read on AO3 here. 

- ACT 1: RESET

She first discovers it following the Imposters first death. Screams echo around her within the lodge as everyone stares upon the motionless body of “Byakuya Togami” beneath the table.

She’d failed.

“What is this!?” Nekomaru roared, hands clutching his head as he stared in horror.

She was supposed to monitor them. She was supposed to help them recover. She was supposed to prevent this from happening.

“Th-This…. This is impossible….!” Kazuichi’s voice cried, voice wobbling before he became defensive. “Don’t mess with me! This must be some kind of mistake!”

Her fingers grasped around the straps of her backpack tightly, knuckles turning white.

“This…. This can’t be real blood, right? I-It’s gotta be something like jam or sauce…” Ibuki insisted. “C-C-Cause…. if not then th-this…”

Her lips pressed together flatly. This wasn’t meant to happen.

Nobody was supposed to die.

“...On this tropical paradise known as Jabberwock Island the very first murder has finally taken place!” Monobear’s laughter bounced off the walls as the students looked at him in horror as he went on in glee.

“Byakuya…. was killed by one of you!”

No.

This wasn’t fair.

This shouldn’t be happening.

This couldn’t be happening.

-and then, suddenly it wasn’t.

Chiaki Nanami gave a jerk as she suddenly found herself standing outside of the old hotel lodge. The night air blew across her cheeks and ruffled her hair with a cool breeze and the sound of music blared from behind her inside the building where the party appeared to be in full swing if the laughter and cheers said anything about it.

What-

“Oi, are you listening to me?”

She blinked at the annoyed voice, turning her head to find Fuyuhiko stood before her with an irritated expression upon his face.

The girl gave him a blank look and tilted her head. “....Huh?”

His nostrils flared. “I said what the hell are you doing here? Why are you even alone out here? Shouldn’t you be inside with the rest of them?”

She stared. This felt… familiar.

“....I’m standing guard to stop Monobear from sneaking inside.” Her lips formed the response automatically.

She’d met Fuyuhiko earlier.

“Heh…. How diligent of you…”

They’d had this conversation before.

When the yakuza boy left, Chiaki stared after him as if in a daze as she attempted to quickly piece this all together. But even with her amazing puzzle solving she found herself stumped.

“Chiaki-chan….” The concerned tone came from her side and as she looked down the gamer was about to gently scold Monomi for calling her by her given name in public. But then her eyes saw Monomi’s expression. She looked scared . When the rabbit spoke, her voice was quiet and laced with nerves. “Chiaki-chan…. what did you do?”

She opened her mouth but no words came forth. She didn’t know.

What had she done?

“This…. This can’t be real blood, right? I-It’s gotta be something like jam or sauce…” Ibuki insisted. “C-C-Cause…. if not then th-this…”

Chiaki stared at the blood pooling from her classmates body.

Again.

It had happened again.

Somehow… someway…. She had gone back. To a few hours before the murder had occurred - even though that shouldn’t be possible.

“Upupupupu! On this tropical paradise known as Jabberwock Island the very first murder has finally taken place!”

She squeezed her eyes shut and wished it away.

And it was granted.

The next time around she realised she should wait and figure out how to prevent the blackout. That was what allowed the killer the opportunity to murder.

She investigated with Sonia and found the irons in the warehouse. Every minute spent after the death not going back set her on edge. Was there only a small time frame between the time of death and the moment she rewinded where she had the capability to go back? After all, if somebody “died” in the simulation they would essentially become braindead outside of it. To undo that - to bring the person back to life - whatever she was doing went beyond the current events inside the simulation and reached out to interfere with the students brains bodies directly.

What manner of ‘hacking’ would even make that possible? If this was a game it would be classified as godmodding and considered cheating.

….Was she cheating?

When the moment came that she did “rewind” however and returned to being outside the lodge, Chiaki spun on her heel and ran inside the building – to the surprise of Monomi and Fuyuhiko – and turned the irons off thus preventing a power surge.

The party came to an end and nobody died.

She’d succeeded.

“Chiaki, I-I don’t know what you did tonight…. But whatever it was, pwease don’t do it again!” Monomi pleaded with her paws pressed together.

Monomi was the only other individual aware of the rewind. All the other students remained blissfully unaware of the fact their friend had died several times over tonight. Even Monobear appeared ignorant to it - thankfully.

“I’m sorry for worrying you, Monomi.” She whispered, giving her companion a soft smile as she sat on her bed and patted the crying rabbit. She didn’t understand what had transpired tonight either. How she had been able to do such a feat which should be impossible – it didn’t make sense.

Later when Monomi had left (off to battle one of the Monobeasts and claim a new island) and  she stood to get changed and remove her clothes, Chiaki caught sight of something odd.

Staring down at the inside of her right wrist, her eyebrows drew together at the sight of a dark patch present. It was no bigger than her thumbnail and looked off-colour from the rest of her skin. It was almost as if her avatar hadn’t loaded properly. As if a few pixels had been interrupted and were now glitching-

Her heart lodged in her throat at the prospect and when she moved her hand to brush her fingers across the area, an unpleasant sensation shot up her fingertips like electric and left  a numb sensation. She yanked her hand away and kneaded feeling back into them.

After a while she threw her night clothes on and tugged her sleeves down to hide the anomaly from view so neither Monomi or Monobear would see it.

Maybe it was temporary.

She could hope that, right?

Two days passed.

And then Nagito Komaeda died.

Found on the beach with no external injuries, she was one of the first to find him when they noted he was missing from dinner. He still held that carefree and gentle smile upon his face even in death.

He didn’t deserve to die.

“I failed….” Byakuya whispered as they knelt on the beach beside the luckster, face pale and engulfed with grief as they clenched their teeth. Sonia placed a consoling hand upon their shoulder as tears fell down her face and screams and panic swallowed everyone whole.

Chiaki made a mental apology to Monomi as she rewinded.

She knew she couldn’t just rewind however. That didn’t solve the issue.

Someone - or multiple someones - had been manipulated by Monobear’s words into killing.

Chiaki arranged a prompt visit to the beach earlier that morning with everyone invited. When she mentioned a BBQ being present Byakuya hopped on board immediately and assisted in sorting everything out and handling ‘security.’

She tried not to look at Monomi who stared at her sadly from afar.

The skin around her wrist itched and her fingers twitched as she resisted the urge to scratch it.

When she spotted Teruteru purposefully avoiding Nagito she knew he was the one and she approached him for conversation, ignoring and shutting down his various innuendos. (“Want me to rub some sunscreen on your body? I’ve been told my hands are verrrrry talented outside of the kitchen too, uhu!”)

“Did something happen between you and Komaeda-san?”

The chef froze and instantly clammed up, stammering and stuttering. “W-Wh-What? P-Preposterous! Haha, wh- what are y’ talkin’ ‘bout? O’ cour’ nah!”

She probably didn’t have enough hope shards for him to confess what had transpired. But she also didn’t have the time to collect them all from him.

He was going to kill his classmate in just a few hours.

“I believe in you, Hanamura-san.”

When he stared at her in surprise - and was that guilt she saw? - she just smiled at him encouragingly. He wasn’t a murderer. Not in this do-over. He had another chance.

“I’m glad I was granted the chance to befriend you. I want us all to get along and…. If something did happen, I hope you know that you can rely on us.” A pause and as she looked out into the ocean her expression hardened. She wouldn’t let any of them disappear. She’d protect them. Even if it did mean being a lousy cheater.

When Mahiru came over (“Hey! I hope you’re not making her uncomfortable, Teruteru!”) the discussion came to an end and she wasn’t sure if she’d said enough to sway his mind.

But by the end of the day everyone was alive.

That’s all that mattered.

Teruteru came clean about how Nagito had stated his wish to commit a murder. There was an uproar instantly and some wished to tie him up to prevent him having free reign. Others protested to this and eventually it was agreed they would always have at least two individuals watching over him and he wasn’t to be left alone.

Chiaki knew Nagito was only acting this way because of the circumstances Monobear had forced them into. Otherwise, he would never be a murderer of his classmates. She believed in him and that was why she continued to defend him to the others and insist he join in their fun activities.

Hajime trusted her and followed step, and one by one the others agreed if somewhat hesitantly. Chiaki watched with a fond smile as hope shard after hope shard was obtained between them all.

Being able to see the former Despairs bonding was worth any unfortunate side-effects on her part.

When she next checked her reflection the ‘glitch’ as she referred to it as had grown larger, now beginning to crawl up her arm. It looked like rot spreading.

She placed another long-sleeved shirt on and put it out of view.

Monobear grew restless from their “boring murderless days” and shoved a further motive at them in the form of a video game. Byakuya loudly declared that nobody would play it and kept watch over it all night with Peko, alternating between security with Akane and Nekomaru. Nobody disagreed since none of them trusted Monobear.

The days passed by and one week faded into the next. Eventually there fears regarding the video game began to fade and after a long discussion they decided to ease up on the security - just a bit.

The following day Mahiru Koizumi died.

She rewinded.

When they arranged for Nekomaru and Akane to be on first watch, Chiaki intervened and asked to go in Akane’s place.

Taking watch over the machine with the coach, she felt guilty when she asked him to go fetch some medication from the pharmacy after claiming her head hurt. And because the older man trusted her he went with no problem, promising to be back from the other island soon.

In the time he was absent she played the video game and passed it easily - she was the SHSL gamer after all - obtaining a prize and staring at the photographs within it with a narrowed gaze.

She later tore them to pieces and threw them into the trash can inside her cottage.

The glitch had now reached her elbow.

Monobear didn’t give up.

The Despair Disease was difficult to combat since there was no way to ‘prevent’ it when it was a motive belonging to Monobear.

The first time it was Ibuki who died.

When Chiaki rewinded however it was different individuals who were infected with the disease.

Instead of Akane, Nagito and Ibuki it was Sonia, Hiyoko and Kazuichi. The student killed was Hajime instead.

Then Gundam.

Then it was Teruteru.

Each time it changed, the situation and the setup. The murderer and the victim.

The glitch had infected her entire right arm and shoulder, now beginning to creep its way onto her torso.

She purposefully avoided looking at her reflection when changing.

Monobear was aware of her rewinding.

She suspected this the first time she went back after Ibuki’s death and the victims of the Disease changed. If there was one thing she knew regarding her ‘hacking’ it was that every instance she rewinded everyone did and said the exact same things unless she interfered and altered the course of events.

Monobear had changed his behaviour without any input from her.

She didn’t call him out on it but it did make sense for him to be aware if Monomi was as well.

The realisation that he was conscious  of what she was doing made her nauseous.

She continued to rewind.

Chiaki sat on the steps within Nezumi Castle, a GameBoy in her hands as she stared blankly at the “GAME OVER” screen after dying. This was the only location on all of the islands where neither Monomi or Monobear could enter.

Monomi was upset with her.

Guilt ate at her heart knowing that fact but she couldn’t stop. She knew she was breaking the rules. She knew whatever she was doing wasn’t meant to be possible and however she was making it happen was going against the rules of the simulation. She was a lousy hacker. A cheater. The side-effects it was causing to her avatar was proof enough that it was a dangerous thing as it continued to eat away at her. If Monobear were to ever find a way to steal this ability for himself it would be bad.

But she couldn’t not bring them back.

“Nanami?”

Lifting her head at the voice she found Hajime walking towards her. He’d died once. She’d seen it. The shadows beneath his neck at this angle looked eerily familiar to the dark bruises that had covered his pale throat like a choker-

“Nanami?”

She jumped at his voice, blinking away the image. He was giving her a look of concern. How long had she been spacing out for?

“Ah…. Hinata-san.” His shoulders slumped in relief at her eventual response.

“Uh, is it okay if I sit with you?”

“Mhhm.” She shuffled aside and returned her gaze to her console as she restarted the game. He seated himself beside her with a comfortable space between them.

“Are you hiding from Saionji-san?” She asked without removing her eyes from the screen.

“Huh?” Hajime gave her a look before grimacing slightly. “Uh…. hah…. Yeah, the whole drill sergeant motif is pretty tiring.” The Despair Disease seemed fond of keeping things fresh. Hiyoko was intimidating to begin with. Having her then yelling at them to “shut the hell up and do five laps around the island” was just overkill. It didn’t help that Akane and Nidai seemed to love it, going along with the whole charade and encouraging the dancer. Even Mahiru wasn’t spared from the girls wrath.

“Togami and Koizumi were trying to get her to accept treatment from Tsumiki last I left them.” Hajime went on. He paused before casting her a glance. “Actually…. I wanted to ask if you were okay, Nanami.”

She blinked. Her character on screen died - again - when she failed to make a jump, having become distracted. “Huh? Me?” She looked at him in confusion.

“You’ve been…. different these past few days. Togami thought you might be ill as well but when Tsumiki checked you, you had no fever so we passed it off. But... it doesn’t change the fact  that you’ve not been acting yourself.”

She frowned.

Had she…. really been acting so different? It was hard to keep a clear timeline of things when she’d rewinded so much. The impact of seeing so many repeated deaths of those she considered her friends - it was logical for it to have affected her somewhat. Especially lately when she was still at a loss of how to prevent it.

Perhaps she had been acting off.

“....Sorry. Thank you for worrying about me... but I’ll be okay.” She stopped herself from tagging on ‘I think’ to the end, knowing that wouldn’t help.

He still looked doubtful. A moment passed and he pulled something out of his pocket. “Here, this is for you.”

Her eyes fell on the power gauntlet and in an instant her eyes lit up. “Ah-!  This is a really rare item!” As she grabbed the console and moved it around in her hands with a grin, Hajime relaxed upon seeing her smile for the first time in a few days.

“This seems a little….” Her expression softened, lips quirking. “I feel like this might raise a flag.”

“Huh?”

One day she rewinded and there was no Despair Disease.

She went to breakfast, dreading who she would see afflicted today but nobody was. Not noticeably anyway.

The only one who appeared to be acting any differently was herself since she was on edge and paranoid.

The numbing sensation had spread along her back.

The Despair Disease may have stopped.

But the motives continued. Blackmail. Money. Starvation. Love. Fame.

The murders kept occurring. Poisoning. Stabbing. Shooting. Drowning. Electrocution.

Always a different victim. Always a different method.

The days began blending together. She found it difficult to piece together which event happened on what day - what had happened, what had been erased. On more than one occasion she’d mention something only to receive confused looks when they had no idea what she speaking about.

Even her diary was a scrambled mess. She was guilty to admit she’d become so fixated on rewinding lately that she’d been lacking in her reports. That was partially due to being afraid of how those outside the simulation must think of her now - her actions could be considered deviation from her original role. What if she was damaging the simulation? Was she considered a threat?

She felt exhausted as well. She hadn’t been napping since she’d been so determined on working to prevent murders and talking fellow students out of killings they were planning. She was still a young AI, it tired her out to be so active for such prolonged periods of time.

Monomi had seen her body and the glitch overtaking her one day and had been horrified. The entire right side of her body from the neck down was now afflicted, pixels off-coloured and distorted as if the very data of her avatar was corrupted. She had begun wearing gloves and tights to hide this.

“Chiaki-chan, you have to stop this! It’s destroying you! It’s not meant to happen! Th-That Monobear must have pwanned this! You can’t do it! Pwomise me!”

When she had stared at Chiaki with pleading eyes full of tears, the gamer had swallowed past the lump in her throat and shaken her head. She couldn’t make that promise.

Monomi refused to speak to her after that.

One day the intended murderer came after her.

Chiaki narrowly missed the sword aiming for her as Peko swung it - a real sword. The swordswoman kept a stoic face showing no emotion as she cornered the gamer in the library. Chiaki hadn’t told anyone of her intention to visit the building that morning but Peko seemed too prepared and determined for this to be a simple coincidence of the wrong time and place.

Was she infected by the Despair Disease again? Occasionally that did reappear. Had something happened with Fuyuhiko? Had Monobear told her something?

She fell against a wall, using it for support.

“Pekoyama-san-”

It was no good. She had to rewind. If she died she couldn’t be here to prevent any of these things from happening.

But Peko true to her SHSL title was quick and the next thing Chiaki knew there was a sharp blade imbedded within her right shoulder.

It… didn’t hurt.

She stared wide-eyed at Peko hovering over her. The braided girl’s expression twisted when Chiaki made no sound of pain nor bled from her shoulder. A strange liquid did begin to seep from the area but it was like dark sludge. Peko stared at her as if she was a monster.

“What…. What are you?”

Chiaki felt her face paling before she quickly slammed her eyes shut and erased this moment.

The next time it was Kazuichi. She winced when he began trying to shove her over the metal railing at Sea King Industries head first. No matter how much she yelled at him to calm down he continued crying and babbling. “Y-You’ll all see-! Sonia-san too! She’ll see how cool I am and nobody will laugh at me!!”

The moment she was thrown over and went sailing through the air she rewinded.

Then it was Akane. She suffered a black eye from the gymnasts fists who then proceeded to throw the gamer around before clamping hands tightly around her throat. Fingernails bit into her skin and she released a choke as she tried to push the heavier girl off her. A trail of black liquid trickled down her nose from where she’d been hit once.

“Ngggrrrhrhhhhhh.” Akane growled animalistically at her, no sign of the laughing and joking girl from earlier present. What had happened?

She managed to rewind only seconds before she blacked out.

The first person she met after several consecutive attempts on her life was Hajime and she instinctively flinched away from him. He gave her a confused and slightly hurt look and she felt guilty. She shouldn’t be acting like this. She wasn’t created to act like this.

Maybe she really had contracted the Despair Disease. Or maybe the glitch was affecting her in ways more than appearance. Was the black sludge inside her toxic? Was it a virus? Was she a virus?

Hajime gave her the same speech about his concerns over her before gifting her the power gauntlet again. She replied the exact same dialogue, like a character in her video games who was destined to provide the same pieces of text over and over.

As she held the console in her hands, the smile felt foreign and unfamiliar on her face. How long had it been since she’d smiled?

She looked at Hajime who appeared delighted with her reaction. She held the console tightly against her chest and spoke the same line.

“I feel like this might raise another flag.”

“Huh?”

She wondered idly how long it would be until Hajme attempted to kill her.

After Mahiru made an attempt on her life, Chiaki visited Monobear.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Hmmmm? Doing what exactly? You’ll have to be more specific there, I’m a busy bear!” He asked as he tilted his head innocently.

She frowned. She knew he was manipulating different students into killing her each time. Sometimes it was obvious he had infected them with the Despair Disease to make their personalities unstable. Other times she was certain he had met with the student in private and emotionally manipulated - or blackmailed - them into it.

“We won’t let you win.” She said, a firmness behind her words. “I won’t let anybody die.”

The bear grinned back at her. “Upupupu…. You say that Nanami-san, but just how long do you have left before you vanish?” His eyes shined with glee as he stared at her body as if he perversely peering directly at the infected skin underneath it. “Y’know nobody likes a rotten cheater! And you’re rotting from the inside out, upupupu!”

He was still laughing when she turned and walked away.

One day she looked in the mirror and realised the glitch had begun to crawl up her throat. She took to wearing a scarf partially hiding her lower face.

“Bwahahaha! You dare to imitate the Dark Lord Gundam Tanaka, a lowly human such as yourself?” The animal breeder bellowed when he saw her new item of fashion. “Your power level is far too low to even attempt to be on my level! ….Hm, but perhaps with training…. Yes, yes, consider yourself lucky, thoughtful one! For I, the great Gundam Tanaka have decided to give you my precious time and knowledge!”

Her body began to feel more numb with each passing day. Even the emotions she’d been programmed to feel seemed to become more and more bland.

When you’d seen so many consecutive deaths and dead bodies in a row, the shock began to wear off.

One day she found herself knelt over the body of Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu during investigation. Her attention turned to the boys decapitated head and when she moved to pick it up, Sonia screamed.

“D-D-Don’t pick up the head!!! Are you crazy? Do you want to get cursed, lady!?” Kazuichi screamed.

Chiaki stared back at them blandly and it took a while for it to click that her actions weren’t ordinary. She placed the head back where she found it but everyone present still looked restless and eyed her warily.

Her fingernails dug into her sleeve as she scratched her arm.

All of her limbs and back had been claimed now. She felt no sensation. No touch. No cold. No heat.

She wondered if she really was going to vanish away completely.

She wished she knew what her father or big brother would have done in this situation.

She couldn’t figure out any solution to this neverending nightmare.

One day she found herself stood in her cottage at night and couldn’t remember how or when she’d arrived there. The last thing she recalled was being on the beach that morning.

Her memories were being eaten away as well as her body.

She caught sight of her reflection whilst changing one day and noted further pixels had been corrupted since she last looked.

She didn’t remember rewinding to have them appear.

Was she forgetting entire days now?

The next morning she awoke and even more had been eaten away.

She held firmly onto her determination. She wasn’t scared. She wasn’t. She was an AI. She wasn’t even alive - she didn’t exist in reality. The notion of ‘death’ or ‘dying’ shouldn’t terrify her.

So then why did her heart thump erratically when she considered she might disappear?

She dropped the knife with a startling clang as it fell against the diner floor, staring in horror at the body of Mikan Tsumiki laid motionless before her.

Blood. There was so much blood.

It was on the knife. And all over the floor and-

Her.

Her breath caught in her throat. What had happened? What was going on? Why was she holding a knife!?

She’d been- she’d been in her cottage just a moment ago- hadn’t she?- It’d been night- Now it was daytime- she’d been going to sleep-

She turned her face to look out the window only to meet the eyes of Junko Enoshima peering back at her from the window reflection.

She screamed.

Stumbling against a chair, when she looked back in the window it was just her own reflection but that wasn’t- it’d been-

“Oi, we heard a scream! What’s going on- oh shit!” Fuyuhiko appeared in the doorway with Nagito and Hajime, the three boys dressed in swimming trunks.

Hajime quickly rushed over to Mikan as Fuyuhiko looked towards her. She saw his eyes take in the blood coating her hands and clothes before his eyes narrowed suspiciously. “What happened?” Before she could reply, another voice interrupted them:

“Hey- She’s alive!”

All three of them snapped their attention towards Hajime. He remained by Mikan’s side as he peered up at them. “Run to the hospital and get medical supplies! And someone grab Pekoyama - she said she has medical training!!”

Chiaki felt the floor fading out beneath her.

Mikan was alive.

She was going to live.

Chiaki didn’t have to rewind.

Except.

No.

If Mikan lived…. She’d tell everyone that Chiaki had stabbed her- because she had, hadn’t she? She’d somehow- someway- she was broken- she was infected- she should be deleted-

“Nanami!”

She met Hajime’s frantic gaze who was staring at her with panic as he held onto a pale Mikan. When their eyes locked he grit his teeth together. “Fuyuhiko’s gone to get Peko and Nagito’s gone to the hospital, go help him!”

She didn’t move.

“NANAMI!”

“I…. I’m sorry.”

She rewinded.

She ignored the knocks on her cottage door.

She couldn’t see any of them. She couldn’t speak to them or be with them. She was dangerous.

It was ironic. She’d gone through all of this to keep them safe and in the end the biggest danger was now her.

It was probably for the best that she be deleted.

Monomi had been right hadn’t she?

She wasn’t sure how long she remained there, with various and different people coming to her door to try and coax her out. Hidden beneath her scarf, hoodie and blankets upon her bed she simply did the only thing she was good at.

She played games.

She’d completed this particular one seven times when the door suddenly opened causing her to look over.

“Hey, Nanami.” Hajime greeted her with a warm smile as he entered. She saw him glance back - presumably others were outside - before he closed the door softly.

“How did you get in?” She asked, blinking. It had been locked.

“Monobear let me in. He was reluctant at first but we needed to bring you this.” He placed a plate of food on the floor by her bed. When was the last time she had eaten, again? Not that it mattered - she didn’t need to eat to survive even if she was programmed to feel hunger. She wasn’t real after all.

She stared at it for a long time before speaking. “Thank you. I’ll eat it later…. I think.”

He nodded, allowing a long moment of silence to extend between them. She waited for the inevitable.

“Nanami...” He sighed. “Did…. something happen? You refuse to come out of your cottage. It wasn’t long ago you seemed really excited for the beach.”

“Mhhm, that was fun.” She admitted, lowering her gaze.

“Wha- no I mean, we haven’t gone yet. We were meant to go today.” Oh. “The girls want you to come too. Uh, Mioda is really excited about seeing you in a bikini. She wanted me to tell you she has some you can try on?” He scratched his cheek awkwardly when mentioning the latter part.

She said nothing.

He frowned. “Well, if anything changes… we’re all here waiting. Owari was planning on breaking your window to get in just so you know which would be breaking a rule. Nidai had to physically restrain her as we begged Monobear to let us in.” He turned to leave before stopping abruptly. “Oh. Before I go - here.”

Even before she looked up she knew what gift would be waiting for her. Chiaki reached out and accepted the gloved shaped console. “Thank you, Hinata-san.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What, not going to say anything about flags?”

She froze. Her eyes shot up to meet his and his forced smile gave way to confusion at the intensity of her gaze. “Uh, yeah?”

He didn’t even seem aware of what he’d said or he was at least unaware of the importance of it.

“What…. flags?”

“Huh? Uh….” He scratched his temple before frowning. “Um…. I don’t…. know? Ah, I don’t know why I actually said that. Sorry.” He gave her an apologetic smile.

The moment of hope that had been blossoming was quickly squashed down. It was just a flook.

She was still alone.

Whenever she heard a body di͙̦̝̝̗͝scovery announcement she rewinded. She’d lost her entire body below her neck now. Her face was also suffering, her right vision partially gone.

Even a scarf wouldn’t hide the damage now. It was impossible for her to leave the cottage.

They continued to bring her meals as she remained hidden beneath her bed sheets. They too҉k͘ tur̕ns, with whoever visited opting to stay a few moments to speak and attempt to coax her out.

They all failed.

Then, o͜͡n̛e day it was Monobear who brought the food.

“Here you go, kid.”

She glared at him.

“Puhuh, if looks could kill I’d be dead where I stood! What happened to the innocent Cḩ̶͞i͡a҉͢k̨̧i̢ ̷N͞a͟͡nami I once knew?” He asked. “Oh right-! My bad, we killed her years ago!!” He cov̸e͜͜ŗ̴e͘d his mouth beneath his paws as he giggled. “Because it’s nọ̢t͏̘̯̪̤̟ ̧͕̞̝͞l҉͎̙̪̙͇ike you’re the real Chiaki. You’re a fake. A cheap replacement. Maybe you should be the SHSL Imposter instead, huh?”

Heŗ̻ ̡͕͙͜ͅf̱̺̟̤̳̦͔̱͈̕͟i͎͜s̡̝̭͚͎ts clenched in her lap.

Monobear grinned. “Joking aside, let’s g̯̥̙͙̹͕̲͖̳͘e̡̮͕̲̻̗̟̰̕t̫̗ ̢̘̦̝͕̝ḏ̥͉͕̞̜͎̙ͅown to business! Amidst all this dizzying despair I actually came beca̧͖u̦̝̱̰͈̻͜͠s҉͚̬̠̕͠ͅe̶͍̤̖̩̺̜͓̙͞ ̛̜͔̝Iͅ ̷̟͖͓̗͍̺̩͖̼͞h̭̜͖͍̥a̷̢̱͓̠̮̤v̯̫̣̟͖̬͚e a proposition for you.”

“Not interested.”

“Hey, at least hear a bear out!” He c omplained. “Let’s face it, the way that gross rot is spreading you probably only have a few more attempts at that cheating ability of yours before it’s game over!”

She l̠̼͖͚̫̰̄̽͊̇o̡̻̰̻ͦ̐o̸͈̩̺͎͎̾͛̒̇́͘͢k̡̢͍̥̻̮̹͓͆̂̋̒ͭ̍̿ē̮̯̲͕͓̮͈ͪ̔̚ͅd̥̭͈̲̹̃̊̈͢ ̸̛̫͎̼̹͕ͨ͊ͤ̄̚͞ͅȃ͔̖̭̘̣̂̄̏w̡̤̜͉͚̟̫̿̔͑̈ͭ͠a̷̩͙̓ͧ̿̓ͨͮͧ͢ẙ̛̗̮̗̳̭͔̟ͪ͒͗̍ͯ͐ͥ ͛̆͏̮͚͖f̪̺͐̋̌̇̚r͕̞̫̱͈̯̳̣͖ͣ̌̍ͯ̚om him. His grin widened.

“So with that in mind… what would you say if I told you i̎͑҉͓̞̘̥͖̹̩t̝̯ͬͣ ̢̻̗̭̣̫̘͕ͤ̔̀ͨw̥̭͙͉̪̙̳̲̻̉̇͊́͗̽͊̾̚͞ā̠͓͍̬̪̪̪̊̈ş̲͚͇̲̲̟̱̮̒̇̅ͪ̊͑͛ ̷̰͙͈͍͈̝̰̟̎̑ͥ͐͐ͪp̬̳̰̓ͣ̕o̶̲̥͙̳̼̬͗͐̇̐̉ͣͧͅs̡̙͚̋ͦ̔ͬ͟s̻̓̇̕͜ible for everyone to graduate including you!”

“That’s-”

“Impossible? Nọ̺͈̹̫ͭͫ̽̈͑ͥ̈́̈́t̸̸͔͚̬̹̬̞̝̉h̡̧̤̜̦̆̄̌̂̚ͅǐ̧̟̜̪̯̦̘͕n̷͚̹̦̬͉͇̻̥̍̐ͦ̒̆̊ͅg’s imposs ible if you believe in it hard enough! I mea͌͆̑͛͗̈́͒͏̢̬̟͇n̞̂͐̈̆́̆͑̚ͅ ̞̬̫̣ͩ̔w͓̺̯̪̬̉̿̑̐ͦ̎h̴͇̱͔͓̺̊̏̈̚o͕͚̟͍͉͋̿ͦ̇̓͘͢ ̘̹̄̃̿͜w̡̡͙͕̗̱͖͔̜ͨ̉̂̑ould have thought it possible for a sim̺͍̟p̳͈͖l̶̙̙͟e̶̢̼̩̪͓̜͢ͅ ͉̥̝̝̳͘h̦͞ͅi̘͎̞͘g̵͓̤̭̬͖ͅh̵͙̯͔͉̘͘͞ ̷͈̫̻̘̼̳͟͡s̛̰̜̟̘c̼͈̫͇̮̕h͇͚o̷͍̣͉͇̜̠̰o̵̡͕͎̞͈l̸̡̫̻͈̞̠̻ ҉҉͖̰͖̭̫͔̬ͅg͈̹̖̣̗̼i̩̻̬͇͍͖̘͚r̡͉̹̯̘͚l̴͍͚̳̺͢ ͎͚̫̬͖͞t҉̗͍͍̼o̷̡͚̥̙͙͕͝ͅ be the catalyst in starting the mos t despair-inducing incident in the history of mankind and plunging the wo͈̹͔̙͜ŗ̫͓̞l҉̗͇d͞͏̵͙̗̱̘͈̺͉̻ ̴̭͍̭̩̼i̡̼̦͈͘n̷̞̝̮̮̲̣̕͠t̼̪̦̠͕̞̮͓̻o̬͓͠ ̖͈̳̱̝͇̫̳d̶͎̜ȩ̠̥͇s͏͖̺͚̪̳̦̳͚p̷̰̘̬̰͍̰͝a̷̛̤͕̟̦̜̲̤̰i̦̦͓̱̜r? Nobody!! But it happened! The fact t hose suckers out there are in this simulation is proof of that, upupupu!”

“...”

“Cm’o n, jus̬̟̜̻͚̗͞͠t̤̼ ͔͓̟͓͎ͅͅ ḵ̰̦̟͖͘͟e̮̠͚̜̗͍͖e̢̖̫p̸̛̙͘ ̢̟͍̬̜a̭̪̜̠̼̺͘n͕͘ͅ ͏̴͖͎͕͚̘̱ͅơ̢̼̳̥̜̠͖̻͍̪͝p̧̹̙͔̥̱̣̖e̵̲n̸̘̳̺̤ ̡̧̲̟͕̺̺̬ḙ̴͈͖̮̜͙͈͢a͈̘̳̝̘̲͉̼̙͟͞͝r͈͓͎͉ ̨͚̝̗͞a̵̮͘n̨͜͏͖̭̻d̨̖̟̤͍̠̠̯̕ ̫̭͍̩̙̕͞ͅl͎̼͈̱̖̱i̸̶̠̠͓̼̣͘ͅs̡͉̺̬͔̹͚̮t͔͜͡e̶͙̪͙̲͙͇͎n̷҉̵̻͇͖̺.̷̛̘̘̙̮̮̺ͅ”̵̮̲͘ ͓͙H̵̡͇͙̲͔̮̟̞̕i͍͍̫s̖͎̞͓͓̺̱͜ ̛̩̝̫̜̯͓̦͖ͅe͙̣̥ͅx̶̴͚͕̼͕̹̦̱̩̻ pression darkened an̴̨̞̺̠͎͙̣d̢͖̻͟ ̢̛̖͓̝͟h̨̺e̢̠͉̠͖̻̳͚̱͡ ͏̡̟̘̜͠l̺̳͎͙̦͢͜e̢̹͇̟͚̥̕ͅe̛͚̙̭̳r͙̭̤͍̱̦̭̯e̹̕d͏̸̳̙͍̰̼ ̷̝̫͓̼a̢̗̭̩̫t̫̩̬͞ ̕҉̫̤͉͙̹̦̬̱ͅh͙͕̤̼̜͔̙͜e̶̪͖͕̦̞͚͚̟r̢̘͉͉͈͔̺̖͡.̢͖̥͔͓̘͟ͅ ̶̠̭͜͜“Let’s have a chat. From on̼͕̗͉̝̰e̛͍̼̺͉̰̝ͅ ̸̸̴̠͎̪A̵̡͎̦̲̖̞̭̱Į̛̣̰̦̫͎͚ ̡͠҉̥̮̤͈͓͈͇̞t͝͏̣͓͉͡o̻̖̺͓ ̥̤̕͢a̶̹̞̥̬ͅn̟͎͎̗̺o̙̼̝̼ṭ̶̩ͅh̨̛̲̫̩̬̘̥̘͜e̩̖̻̥͚͔͈̹̜͜r… hm?~”

Her l ips pressed  flatly togethe r as the bear drew near̴̴͕͓̠̪̦̝̲e̴̲̻̯̳r͙͇̫̕.̛̭͎̰͙̤̟͘ ̢̙̮̪̝̦̟̩̻͢ͅS̴͎̱̠͚͈͚̳̭͜ḩ̦̗̮͈̝̭͟ȩ̩̜͈̠̖̠̘̟͇̕ ̧̼̭ş̬̠̰̘͢͠h̛̺ọ̶̰̻u҉̞̤l͡͏̺̫̪̬̩̠̫͝d̫̣̘̬̥̖̲͞ͅṋ̢̮̬̰̲͉̥̻͡'̞̤̳͕͙̳͠t̷̤̞͚͓̺̟̺͇ͅ ̶̭͇͕̮c̫̯̜͓̬a͡҉͕̝̩͎̱͉̬r̛͙̻̦͕̟͞͝e̸̗̬ ̡̭̥̰͡ͅa̷҉̺͙b̸̛̗̟̼̥͎ơ̢͍̘̮̫ư̪t being able to exist outsid e of the simulation. Sh͈̜̩͜e̬̟͉͉̳͖͈͞ ̛̟̩̜̲̙̟͕w̸͕̟͉͉̗̲͞a͏̣̺̖͔̺s̟̗̯̕ ̻̥̱a̩͔̬̹̫͔̗͝ņ҉̖͖͢ ̴̦͙A͔̳͠I̸̧̩̘͓̪̺̰̰̺͓.͏̠͕̼̜̺̬̖ ̧͚̥̰̥̜̟̹A̱̠̖͎̼͉̩͎ ̧͡͏̳͇ṱ̬̜̥̠̕͝e̘͓̺͞c̵̘h͖̯͎̲n̴͙͙̹͎͚͢͡o̰̩̻̻͇̦̦͙l̨̢̼̗̟͓͖̮̘͕ o͢҉̢͙̦͍̘̰̙̻g̥̳į̧̪̻͕͇̦̲͜c̶̳̲̤̱̬̮̲̳̕a̴͇̦̮͙͖̪̳l̦͚̺̞͕̜͠ ̴̢͙c҉̡̞̫̰̮̹͓͓r̖̰̠͔̹͞͞ͅe̢͚̘͟a̸͔t̮̼͠i͍̱o͏̘̹n͓̪̘͢ ̶̷̛̳͇̳̖b͕͈͢r͈̫̲̙͞͠o̧͏̱͉u͙̻̩g̭̹̖̺͖̜̣͟ht to artificial life using a decea̲̱̟̥̫̭͞ͅşe̺̺͎d͉̥̣̬̬ ̮t̳̤͙̕eeṋ̙̺͟a̶̫̮g̖̮̪e̢ ͓̞͓̤̙̟g͉̩͉̤i͈̜̭̫͍͓r̫̭̖̻̖l͏͈̠͎͈͎ ͉͈̰͎͉̯a̝̦͈͕̱̖s̝̲̟͕ ҉͓̫̠͔̝a̲͔͚͎̣͓ ͉t͉͇̗̤͢eͅm̲̻̼̩̤͇p̹̳̮̗̬͢ḷ͚̼̣̭ͅa̷̻͕̩̠t̻͍e̺̻͈͚ͅ ͘f̛̳̙͔̥̣̻o̥ṛ ̷͉̬h̷̺̠̬̝͔̱̦e̳̣̻̟ṛ ̣͉͕͠interface.

S̡̩   he̢͚̬͉ ̭͎̦͠d̜͙̪̻͉̥ i̡̼dn̞̜̘̟̦̠͚'͉͓̬̣̳̖͓t̗̙̯̣͎̭ ͈b̘̫̠̤̝ę̫̮̬̩̱l͔̻̙͇on̵̝̰̪̞̖g̷͈̻̥̲͈͍ ̶͙̱̮̟o̴u̪̯̩̗̥̭͝ t̜̩̹̰̬s̵̙̼̭i̺̼ d̼̱̪̳e̯͕̙̰ ͕͚̗̻t̶͇̲͚̠͍̪̮h͈̯̲ḙ̥͉͔̜͝ ̦͙s̯i̹̟ m̠̯u̲l̠̯̜̝̗͇a t͕̙̠̟̝͙ͅi͚̺̤o̵͇̙̳n̝͓̪.̲̥̠̥̲̤͘ ̗̣̼    S̶̼̜͍̞͕̜̰͔̃̔ͮ͌ͩ̏̍ͨ͐̔̍͛͐̔͊̔͆̚͢h̞͔̤̯̱̻̦͈̜ͪͪͮͧͨͨͩͬ͡͡e͉͉̹̦̰̞̮̫̝̥̼̬̠̝̮͕̗̞̾͊͌̈͢͟ ̶̊͗̆̑ͧ̐ͭ̈͂͒̂̇ͫ̈̈̆̐̔҉̲̬̦ͅw͔̥̰̤̳̗̬̞͆ͦ̓ͤͥͥ̏̿͡ ă̡̡̧̰̹͚̲̥̗̬̇̑̉ͪ̃͛ͨ̾͑̂͌͐̑̓̍ͮ̔̚͡͡s̘̟̹̦̤̩͖̖̦̪̤͖͖̳̦̞̫̹ͭ̐̋̽͒̆ͫͤ̄̿ n̳̖̰̖̳̙̼͉̟̰̺̰̙͇ͩ̽ͤ̒͘͘͘͞͠'̨̳̩̖̩̞̖̞̺̹ͬ̒̉ͫͫ͆̓̋ͪ̅̏̃̽̉̅̃͘͜͟t̢̳͓͇̥̦̺̫̭̱̞̦̠ͮͭͣͫ̈́̏̋̽̕͘͜ ̶͙͓̞͇̲̠͔̮̜̹̘͕̠̮̯̽ͫ̔ͨ̽͒ͩ͐̒̽ͪ͋͌ͪ͟͡m̵͋͗̇҉͏̧̟̮̯̪̺͉̻̝̳ë̺̹̗̗̮̼̙̰́͑͛̾̐̆̿ͮ̐̇̾ͧ̋̏ͨ͊̚̕͟͢ a͒͗ͮ̃ͦ̎ͯ̂͊͠҉̛̱͎̟͕͔͇̻̻̤̝̠̪ͅņ̵͛͒͂̈ͮͥ͏̝͎̙̖̲̤͉̙͍̫̤̰͕͍̰͘ t̷͔̪̻̙͕͚͈̩̳̘̝͍̟̺̬̤̜̭̾͑̽ͭͥͧ̿ͨ̊̿̈́ͧͤ̓ͨ͜ͅ ̛̖̭̞̬̪̩̦̰̩̝͕̥ͧ̋̅̂̂͊ͮ̊ͮ̃ͬͫ̌ͦ͢͡ͅt̛̫̖͓̟͚͇͖̪̠̳̥̼̦͗̇̓̆̅̓̋̇ͯ̏́ͪ̈̍̚ͅͅo̢̾ͨͤ̊́̐ͦͫͩ̾̂̔ͭͦͥͫ҉̙͉̝͎̲̥̹͍͖͔̯-

ṱ̖̥̱o͕̝̭͚̣͓͔͔-͏̡͓̩͈̭̞̲̩̫͓ ̵̸͕̜͍͜

t̨̼̯̦̗o̢̥̩̺̰̗͈̳͍͘t̵̝̖͚̮̞̠̭o͙̻̦̦̕t̢͇͖͙̟̟̠̻͠ǫ̺͎͢t͙͠o̡̗͚̱͎̜͈t̛̞͢o̶̤͖̗͕̘͝ͅ

̡͍͟ ̧̣͖̬̮͘ ̸̰͓̗̟̲̯̠͉̗͜ ̖͚̠̺ͅ ̸̥͉̟̜͙̠̦͘ ͔̖̮̹̞ ̺̮͚̘̜̭̻̫s̱͍͚̼͈̣̘t͙̹̱͡͠o̢͍̗p̲̗̖̯̯t̥̹̰͍̦̲̲̖͢o̷̮ţ̩̟̳͕̳̻͓̤o̢̗̞̞͉͍͔͚ͅt̷̫͓͜o̷̙̦̥̘͞t̠̦̗̰̺o̴̷̸͕̟̺̣̝ ̶͕̤͉̘̹̳̲ ̢̣͢ ̯̼͉̯̣͠ ̡͍̤̜̘͎̟͝ ̴̣̙͖͈̩͢͟ ̵̥͡ ̗̳ ̛͔̻̞̭̬ ̺̗̪̮͙͙͜͠ ͈̝̘͉̗͎͘͜ ̷͍͔̲̪̱̹̟ ͖̦͈̼̣̬̙̱ͅs̼̖̘̹̖͔̮̕͡t̵̶̗̭̺͚̲̰̱͖ǫ̵̰͚͖̼̭͍̤̳̤͡p̶̡̤͔̳̦̫͖̥͉͝

̴͎̝͙͟b̤̣̞̪̣̰̝͘͜ ̵̷͖̝̱̺ ̨̪g̪͕̠̠͍̳̭̕ ҉̞͇̝̟͖͎͉͙̪͞ ̸͚̕̕ ̫̙ ̢̥̼̲̪̪͔̦ ̹͉̪͙̘̮̬̣͔ ̢̝̣̲̦̩̤̝͟ ̵̥̦̳̺͚̼̦̥̣͘͠ ̸͘҉̞̪ ̶̡̩͙͎̭̫̠͜ ̼̺͍̠̙̼͕ ͓͓̣̠͇̱ ̲̱̫̣̲̫̫̞ ̷̡̢̜̜̠̹͇͍̝͇̝ ̢̦͓̯͙̘̜̖̮͢ ̛̘̤̗̬̣͡ ̮̺͓̗ͅ ̷̘̘̲̳͖ ͔̟͇̕ ҉̵̸̬͈ ̴̡͕̦̻̖ͅ ̳̝̟̗ ̬͍͕͙̝̙̱̼ ͙̜̭͟ ̹̜̱͚̹̯̯͠ ̫̬͖̩̳̼͚̥̕͝͠b̨̪̬̻͈͎̟̰r̷̜̻̗͟͝o̤̠ṱ̹ ̴̪̥͍͖̳͚̩̥̼͟͜ ̡͖̩ ̴͎͕̪͓̦̖͓ ͏̷̖̱͖̺̦̤̥ ̤̘̩ ̟̥̱͍͍̠̩͡ ̨̠͜ ͈̤͇̭̣̺͔͖͉͜ ̱̭ͅḥ̻̼e͞͏͙̹͖̠̺̬r̶̼͉̙̤̪̘̫ͅ

͕͡ţ҉̲̳̲̰̭͉̣̰o̴̤͎̬̰̼̫̼̫ͅt̴҉̞͙̮̠̞ơ̜̻̤̭̼͖

̷̙̣̫̕s͏͇̗͔͇̝t̡͈̮͇̘̺̜͜ ̢̡̤̦͎͉̦̥̩̜̲o͍̼͇̪͘͟ ̷̞͈̪̗̣͎̞͜ ͍̠͙̠̭̦̞͉̤͞ ̜͖̰̦͞ ̱͔ ̟ ̹̼̗ ͔͈̺̕ ͏̷͈ ̰̞p̨̧͖͔̳͖̘͍ͅ ̰̞̜̩͡s͚̭̲̝̺̹͓̣̖̕t҉̸̺̤ǫ̛̦̬̱̺̲̠̹͘p̦ ̙̜͍̯͖s̤̬͈̟t̢͙̗͔̼̪͚͈͠͞o̬̙̮̺̲̮p̟̜̞ ̣̯͟͢͠n҉̡̖̱o̸̩̤̭̯̲̼͢ͅ ̢̣̤̹̩̞n̶̶̴̖̲̣̬̹͕̼ọ̩͖͟t̮̖̪̭̹͘͝

͚̪̩̻͜͞ͅ ̫͕̯̳̩̫̯͈͙ ͎̹ ̡͙̳̝̙̼̲ ̛̤͇̣̰̲̯͕ ̦̫̕ ̘ ̸̷̸̖͚͉̹̲̝ ̶͓̟ ̸̴̪͈͙̖ ͕̜̜͡͞ ̙̭̳͙͔̻̬ͅ ̘̻̩͚̞̜̥̣ ̠̩͙͜ͅ ̴̞͙̝̘͙̦̪͜ ̴͖̖h̡͎̦̙̦̳̗͉͕e̴͚͖̣̰̼ ̴̩̮̪̫͎̮ ͍̦̹̥͉̰̯͡ͅ ̷͎͎͙̦̖͢ ̝͎̩͙̯̮ ̳̤̣̹̮̠̦ ҉̻̭̩ ̸̠̬̗ ̵̷͍̥̠͎̬͙̲͓͙l̵͉̪͓͙̳p̧̧̲̝͓͢

̷̨̝̼̯̭͉͎͔̟l͠҉̦̳̱͓̦͉̥͎̭p̳̠̟̞

҉͍̘͎l̮͇̥ͅp̢̢̣̯͘ ̸̷̲̙̪̻͙͉̱͟ͅ ̳͚̻̞̟͢ ̛̺͎͓̠͚͢ ҉͈̞͡ ̷̤̱̰͎̦̻̯͉̙l̲͡p͏̣̞̤ ͔͢ļ͉̞̤̟̬̦͇p̧̻̯̺͇͍͉͇ͅ ̭̗̰̗͔̟̜l̸̥͚̦̲̯͎̲p͇̟̖̣̺̥͎ ̶̣͍̠͡

̳p̧̭̝̼͚̯p̸̖̟͈̮̞̜̬̱̕

̹͖̜̯̯̰̞͇͍ ̻̣ ̮͚̰ ̶̳̭̖͚̯̻͟ ̶̡̲̯ ̢̭̪ ͚̺͇ ̶͉̼̜͔͡ ̶̞̼̺̞̻͘ ̛͈͈̦͟p̵̖͇͔͔̯̬̝ ̵̢͍̫͙̬̪̮̙ͅ ̢̧̼͇ ̷̶̮͎͙̞̕ ̨̪͖̠̗ ̧̛̤͖͖͍̦͉ ̧͔͔͇̗̦̩̠̥̹͜ ̰͈͠ ̶̼̜̗p̷̦̝̟̝͇͉̮ ̢̢̱̭̯̮̖͇͍ͅͅ ̷̩͎̻ ̸̡̣̙̭͔̮ ̺͔̜͢͝ ̶̻̬ ͉͢͡ ̶̭̗͞ ̢͔̺̯͕͡p̴̩̜̮̬ͅ ̶͏̪̩p̴̡̺̦͚̘̞͞p̶̝͓͓ ͏̗̖̣̣̯ͅp̢̜͓͎̲͈͈p̧̛͇̦̱

̵̧̹͈ ͚̫̥̟

Chiaki jerked abruptly in her seat and Monobear grinned, teeth flashing at the sight of her.

A long moment of silence stretched between the two before the girl spoke softly, voice lilted.

“....What are your proposing?”

"Upupupupu~"

Act I: End

Join in for the second - and final - act with our protag Hinata taking charge of the narrative next chapter. It’s gonna be wild.

Trivia:

Chiaki did still attend Sonia’s beach party but wore her hoodie over her swimsuit to hide the glitch on her.

Hiyoko didn’t die in the third instance since Mahiru was still alive to tie her kimono.

Peko went after Chiaki because Monobear manipulated her into thinking she was a threat to Fuyuhiko. Monobear was a bitch.

Chiaki “I’ve never screamed” Nanami. That came untrue in this fic. Seeing your reflection as Junko can do that to ya.

In this case they never entered the funhouse. You could argue it’s because the “train” that took them there only had 12 seats and there’s 16 of them… but it’s mostly just down to Monobear changing his plans due to Chiaki’s interference.

[warriorblood1]

Nine. [Hinanami Week 2017 Day One]

Haha suckers, it’s still the ninth on the west coast. So this isn’t even late.

And even if it was, I’m the mod of hinanami week, who the hell’s gonna stop me.

Anyways, I’ve been playing too much Zero Escape, so here’s a DR Zero Escape AU for hinanami week.

————————————

Hajime Hinata woke up with his head throbbing. He groaned, and then proceeded to hit his head on the ceiling as he sat up.

After taking a moment to wake up, the first thing Hajime noticed was that he was in a bunkbed.

The second was that he had no idea where he was.

“Ugh… how did I get here?” He mumbled to himself as he tried not to slip down the ladder. Planting his feet firmly on the floor, he looked into the mirror across from him.

“Wow. I look awful.” He stated. Why lie? He looked exhausted. But what caused him to be so exhausted?

With a gasp, he remembered.

He was sitting at his desk, at home. It was very late, probably midnight. The sounds of the city could be heard through his bedroom window.

Finally deciding to go to bed, Hajime closed his window. As he did so, he heard a door open, followed by footsteps. Hajime lived alone.

Worried, he grabbed a lamp from his nightstand and with a yank, unplugged it, throwing his room into darkness.

Holding the lamp like a bat, Hajime carefully walked out of his room into the hallway.

Standing in his living room was a person, wearing a hooded cloak and a gas mask.

“Wh-Who the hell are you?!” He shouted, visibly scared. The person said nothing.

In the back of his mind, Hajime heard a hissing noise, and spun around. The room had begun to fill up with a white smoke.

Failing to not breath it in, Hajime started coughing. After a few moments, he collapsed, and the lamp in his hand shattered next to him.

The person moved to stand next to Hajime’s nearly-unconcious body, and began to speak in a staticy voice.

“Consider this a privlege. You have been chosen.” Chosen for what? screamed the back of Hajime’s mind.

“You are going to participate in a game. The Nonary Game. It is a game…where you will put your l i f e on the l i n e.”

Snapping out of his thoughts, Hajime took a step back. “Gah! Who the hell was that guy?! …What happened before that? …Why are my feet wet?”

Turning around, Hajime noticed the water pouring out of the window in the room. The door, which he now noticed had a big red “5” on it, seemed to be locked. There was also a sort of bracelet on his left wrist, which also had a “5.”

After a few moments of freaking out, Hajime took a deep breath. “Okay, okay. I just have too… I have to seek a way out. Yes. Okay.”

—————–

Hajime opened the door after a few minutes. It actually wasn’t as hard as he thought.

After swimming down the hallway to another door, the water began to rise even faster. He booked it up the stairs, until he ran into a group of people.

There were eight people in total, and they were all running in the opposite direction of Hajime.

“Don’t bother going up there, all the doors are locked!” Someone shouted as they ran past.

“Yeah! We gotta check C Deck, c'mon!”

Hajime spun around, trying to stop them. “Wait! But it’s flooding down there! I’m pretty sure D Deck is completely submerged!” he shouted.

“Then what do you propose we do, huh?” A girl with twintails glared at him as she ran past.

“I… I don’t know? Stay up here and on B Deck, and pray for a miracle?” He half-heartedly shrugged.

He felt someone bump into him from behind.

“Oh, sorry. I’m in a bit of a hurry, could you move? …Wait. Shouldn’t you come too?”

This girl seemed much less frantic than the rest. Her soft pink eyes looked tired, not scared.

Hajime found he had lost his voice. “Uh… I guess? But I’m pretty sure it’s flooded down there…”

The girl shrugged. “Then I guess we’ll have to swim.” And with that, she walked down the stairs.

——————

The water had stopped. All the doors were locked. Hajime and the other eight people were now standing in C Deck, brainstorming about what to do next.

Suddenly, there was a ringing, and a familiar staticy voice.

“Welcome aboard.”

It was the person who had kidnapped them.

“I welcome you all, from the bottom of my heart, to this vessel. I am Zero… The Captain of this ship. I am also the person who invited you here.”

After Zero said this, there were some shouts. The twintailed girl demanded to see him.

“You are here to participate in a game. The Nonary Game. It is a game where you will put your life on the line.”

Zero explained that the rules were already in our pockets, and then signed off.

After reading over the rules, we understood a little better. We had to team up to go through the doors with numbers on them, and eventually we’ll reach the Nine Door.

After a bit of discussion, someone mentioned that we should introduce ourselves. Someone else said we needed to keep our identities hidden from Zero. In the end, we decided on codenames.

“Sweeeet! I love codenames! I’ll go first!!” The twintailed girl bounced around. “Alright, alright. I’m number six!” She raised her left fist in the air. “You can call me Mono!!!”

“Wouldn’t that be a better name for two?” Someone asked. Mono glared at them.

“I’ll go next.” A blonde girl stepped forward. “I am Number One. My codename shall be Rosie! Like Rosie the Riveter!” She smiled, and did the pose from the infamous WW2 poster.

“…Oh, I guess that means I’m next.”

It was the girl from earlier, the one who lagged behind. Her short hair bounced slightly as she walked closer to the group. “…I’m number two. My codename is Galaga.”

“Oh, like the video game?” Hajime asked, surprised he could remember such an old game when he couldn’t remember his address, or even his family.

Galaga turned towards him, eyes wide. She grinned, and nodded. “Yes, exactly! It’s a very good game, espically for it’s time period. I’ve got one of the highest scores in the wor-”

“Hey!” Mono interrupted. “There’ll be time for that later! My sister is speaking now.” She grinned and turned to a girl with short black hair.

The girls cheeks turned slightly pink at the attention. “I’m number three. Call me Fenrir.”

A boy with cloud hair stepped forward next. “I’m number four. I’ll be Lucky. I’m sure you all will figure out why soon enough.” Lucky had an unsettling smile that sent a shiver down Hajime’s back.

Galaga tugged on Hajime’s sleeve. “Hey, you’re number five. What’s your codename?”

“Uh…” Hajime racked his brain for some clever way to relate to five, but found nothing. Then he looked for something personal, like most everyone else did, and found nothing.

“Um… I’ll be… Five?”

Mono groaned. “That’s so boring! You can’t come up with anything else?”

“Um..” Hajime didn’t get the chance to stand up for himself, because Galaga did it for him.

“I think Five makes it easier on everyone. Why have to do some nickname?” She said as she stood in front of Hajime.

Clearly, this girl was special. He just wasn’t sure how special yet.

—————–

After a pink haired guy now known as Mecha and a scarf-wearing stranger known as “Supreme Overlord of Ice,” or “SOLOI” for short, introduced themselves as seven and eight respectively, there was only number nine left.

The short man refused to introduce himself, saying it was pointless because he wouldn’t be seeing them anyway.

Just then, he grabbed Galaga by the arm and held her in a chokehold. Before anyone could take another step, he flicked out a pocketknife and aimed it at her throat.

He scanned his bracelet and then Galaga’s.

“Now. Fenrir, was it? Get over here and scan your bracelet.”

After a moment of hesitation, Fenrir calmly walked over and scanned her bracelet. The Nineth Man ordered her to back off, and she complied.

Suddenly, he shoved Galaga towards us. I moved without thinking, catching her so she wouldn’t slam her face on the floor.

The Nineth Man had opened the number 5 door. He waved goodbye as it closed.

But Hajime wasn’t really paying attention to that. He was more worried about Galaga. As he helped her up, she hugged him tight.

The moment was ruined by the sound of screaming and pounding.

The Nineth Man was trying to get out. The group could hear a faint beeping from the other side of the door.

“Please! Let me out of here! They lied to me! They said this wouldn’t happen!! Please!! Help!!!!”

After that last cry for help, there was an exploding sound. The room was dead silent.

Then a faint beep. The door had changed from “OCCUPIED” to “VACANT.”

After a frantic discussion, Mono, Fenrir, and Hajime scanned their bracelets to open the door.

Inside was a frightening sight.

Blood and flesh covered the walls. In the middle of it all was a bracelet with the number nine.

Slowly, the doors closed again.

Hajime backed up into Galaga. She looked pale. After a moment she grabbed his arm.

Hajime was unsure how this girl managed to trust him so easily, so quicky, espically in their current situation.

But, somehow, he found himself trusting her too.

A short girl with strawberry-blonde hair and pink eyes nicknamed “Galaga.” Stuck in this hellhole for an unknown reason.

Surely, nobody here actually deserved to be here, right? Nobody could have done something to deserve this.

The clock chimed ten times. They had wasted an hour of time, which was all too precious at the moment.

They had eight hours and eight people. They had to seek a way out… they had to seek a door that carried a nine.

And something inside Hajime said that he would make sure that if anyone was to get out, it would be Galaga.

[komahinasecretexchange]

Title: Looking Forward

Author: @komaedakun / @givemerockruffs

For: @procrastination-hell

Rating/Warnings: nothing explicit just some..making out I guess// read the author’s notes for any other “warnings” I suppose ^^

Prompt: “Hinata’s wife dies, but Komaeda helps him move on.”

Author’s notes:  I hope you’re ok with slight hinanami…This is a no-despair, no-talent (but some do have jobs that feature their talent), modern au (I think) in which Hinata lost Chiaki in a shooting, Komaeda lost Izuru to suicide, and the two old college friends (now in their 30s) reconnect due to their tragic experiences.

I had tons of fun writing this (I may have went a bit overboard)!!! I hope you like it! ;v; (also I feel like I should mention that Izuru and Hinata are unrelated in this! and it’s also more them helping each other rather than just Komaeda helping Hinata//)

Enjoy!

    When he lost Chiaki, it felt like his whole world ended. Like it completely stopped.  This was no exaggeration – it’s just how it really, truly felt.

    Souda was the first to apologize to him after it happened.

    “Losin’ my wife…,” he’d said.  “‘Can’t imagine what that’d do to me, man…I’m so sorry.”

    It wasn’t a gradual thing, either.  It happened out of nowhere, all at once.  There was a shooting at the mall out in the city – a man came in with a gun and just started…shooting.  She’d probably hesitated, the way she always did.  She’d always moved slowly – too slowly.  

    Hinata didn’t really know the whole story, but he didn’t actually want to know any more.  He’d briefly heard about it on the news while it was happening, but he turned the TV off the second he realized that his wife and friend were there.  She was with Tsumiki.  

    When the nurse came back and broke the news to him, they both cried – hard.  Hinata wished he’d been there.  He was convinced he could’ve done something.  Like he’d be any more in control in the situation than anyone else.  He was glad Tsumiki was okay, at least – though she was probably scarred for life.

    After it happened, he felt utterly alone, despite all his friends’ kind words and embraces.  Nothing could console him, it seemed.  It felt like nothing would ever be okay again.  He wouldn’t go out for any reason except work and to go to the supermarket.  That was it.  He was terrified to go anywhere else, really.

    About 4 months passed after Chiaki died when Hinata received a phone call.  It happened midday, but he was still laying in bed, simply staring at the ceiling.  When his phone rang, he sighed heavily and swept it off the nightstand beside him.

    Unknown caller.Hinata blinked at the screen, debating whether or not to answer for a moment.  He picked up.

    “Who’s this?”

    “Hinata-kun?  Is that you?”

    “Huh?”  The voice sounded oddly familiar.  Hinata’s eyebrows furrowed.  “Who is this?”

    “Ah, my mistake.”  The person on the other line laughed softly.  “Um…It’s Nagito Komaeda.  From college?  Hope’s Peak?  I don’t expect you to remember me, but…”

    Oh.  Yes, he remembered Komaeda.  They were friends in college – best friends, even.  He wondered whatever happened to that.

    “Oh,”  Hinata said aloud.  “Hi!  Ah, how’d you get my number, exactly?”  He was happy to receive a call from an old friend, yes, but he was honestly wondering about how Komaeda obtained his phone number.

    “I heard your friend, Souda, talking about you at the café in town!  I work there.  ‘Turns out I work fairly close by to where you guys live…Souda is a regular, but I never knew that you knew one another; I asked him for your number.  I’m sorry, I hope that’s okay.”

    “Yeah?  Oh, yeah, that’s fine…”  Hinata sat up in the bed.  Of course; Souda wasn’t exactly quiet about…anything that he did.  Hinata briefly wondered who his friend had been talking to about him.

“Okay,”  Komaeda replied slowly.  “That’s good…well, anyway, he seemed to feel really bad for you,”  he went on.  “I had no idea you were married.”

Hinata felt his breath catch in his throat.  “Mhm,”  he forced out.  “I was.”

    “I’m so sorry for your loss,”  Komaeda said.  “I, ah…a while ago – around a year, now – I lost my boyfriend.”

    “Oh?”  Hinata swallowed, throat still tight, though that somehow made him feel a bit…better.  “I’m sorry to hear that…”

    “That’s alright!  This is more about you than me!  Ah, how long ago did she pass – if you’re okay with me asking?”

    Hinata took a deep breath.  “A…about 4 months ago.”

    “Wow,”  Komaeda breathed.  “I’m shocked you can even talk about it,”  he said.

    “It’s hard,”  Hinata replied, just barely keeping his voice from predictably cracking.  

    “Of course.”  There was a pause of silence on the other line.  “I don’t think it ever won’t be hard.”

    “Mhm.”

    “Anyway, I just wanted to call and offer my condolences…it seemed appropriate, considering our history,”  Komaeda continued.  “I apologize for calling out of the blue like this, I–”

    “Is that the only reason you called?”  Hinata asked, running a hand over his face.  “I mean, not to reconnect or…anything?”  Suddenly, going out for something other than work sounded okay.

    “Oh um, I mean, not really, but…do you want to meet again?”

    “We were friends in college,”  Hinata reminded him.  “I wonder what happened to that.”

    “Life moves on, I suppose.  Sadly.”  Another beat of silence.  “I’d disappoint you, anyway.”

    “Don’t be like that.”  Ah, yes.  It was all coming back to him: how Komaeda could be.  He could deal with it…probably.

    A pang of excitement suddenly sparked in his chest.  He sat up a little straighter.  It surprised him, really; why was he excited?  ‘Just the thought of a “new” friend, he guessed, but…it was strange to him why he wasn’t more than ready to hang up and never pick up a phone again, after the topic just forced upon him.  Had he really not had a decent interaction with someone in so long that it didn’t matter what they talked about?

    “We should…meet up sometime,”  Hinata suggested.  “And talk.  Just to, y'know, catch up again.”

    “You sound pretty upbeat for someone who just talked about something so tragic,”  Komaeda said.  “I’m surprised you’d get like this over someone like me!”

    Hinata went quiet for a moment.  He’d definitely need to get used to this, if they were going to “reconnect”.

    “‘Guess so, huh?  Sorry.”

    “Oh, no, I’m sorry!  That must’ve sounded bad, I’m–”

    “No. you’re okay,”  Hinata quickly replied.  “Not everyone’s really great with words, I guess…but…I get what you were saying, I think, I was just caught a little off guard, um – I was thinking the same thing, really.  Myself.”  He took another deep breath, glancing around his bedroom.  His eyes landed on the clock on his nightstand. 1:27 p.m.  “Um, so, anyway…does lunch sound okay?”

————————————-

    Lunch was arranged for that Sunday.  Komaeda called on Friday.

    On Saturday, Hinata talked to Souda about the whole ordeal.  The man came over per his friend’s request, and they simply sat at Hinata’s kitchen table together to talk.

    “You’d think I’d be turned off by it – the way he talked,”  Hinata told him.  “But, I dunno, it was weird… ‘cause I was talking to an old friend, you know?  And it was like it didn’t really matter once I stopped myself from crying ‘cause it was, like, exciting to talk to him again, I guess?  It felt familiar.”

    Souda nodded at him from across the table, eyebrows furrowed together.  “Well, man, I’m glad he called!”  The mechanic put his hands up.  “‘Seems like you’re happier than you’ve been in awhile just from a talk!  This guy could be good for ya.”

    “I don’t know if I’d say happy, just a bit uplifted, maybe.”

    “It’s pretty crazy to me how a person you haven’t talked to in years could just call up ‘n do this to ya, regardless.”  Souda chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest.  Hinata shifted his gaze from his friend’s face and noticed his heels were now up propped up on the edge of the table, and he briefly wondered how he’d moved them there without Hinata noticing.

    “Well, we were friends in college…”  The brunette rubbed at the back of his neck, looking back up at the other.

    “Yeah but dude, you’ve been in this slump for, like, quite a few months now – with good reason, ‘a course, but man…I was so worried about you!”

    Hinata gave a tiny smile.  “Well, um, it doesn’t just…go away, still.”  He cleared his throat.  “But, um, I dunno, I guess it just felt good to know that I’m not really alone.  I mean, I know other people have lost their partners in the world, but–”

    “Whaddya mean?”  Souda raised an eyebrow at him.  “What’d he tell you?”

    “Oh, he, uh, lost someone, too.  Recently.”

    “Yeah?”

    “Yeah.  So I think that’s part of it.”

    “Probably.”  Souda nodded thoughtfully, eyes on the ceiling.  “Well, man, I hope this’ll work out for ya, then.  ‘Could be good to reconnect with an old friend.  ‘Take your mind off things.”

    “Mhm.  Hopefully.”

————————————-

    He wasn’t going to lie – just trying to take his mind off of the fact that Chiaki was dead made him feel sad and especially guilty.  Sad because it was a reminder that she was gone; guilty because he was trying to forget her, but he really didn’t want to.

    He wondered if she’d be angry with him for trying to forget.

    The rest of Saturday went slowly.  Hinata really didn’t have anything to do for the rest of the day – he was still off from work, and there weren’t really any errands to run.  He kept on top of anything that needed to be done around the house, so it left him…bored a lot of the time.  He did not like the feeling.

    When Sunday did come, Hinata was excited.  Purely, genuinely excited – he felt like a child.  That was a good feeling.  He welcomed it.

    However, on his walk down to the local café at precisely 2 p.m (when and where they’d decided to meet), a sinking feeling formed in his gut.  He wouldn’t stand me up, would he?  He thought grimly.  No…I mean, he doesn’t really have any reason to…and this isn’t a date, anyway…  Hinata shrugged.  It was useless to worry; it only spoiled his good mood.

    When he arrived at the café, Komaeda was sitting, waiting outside for him on a small bench.  Hinata was only a bit surprised to find that he looked…absolutely no different than he looked in college.  He had the same white, reddish-tipped, unkempt hair sticking up every which way, same stormy gray eyes, same tall, frail figure and pale skin.  He was wearing a white shirt with some sort of red pattern on it, and a dark green jacket over it.  Hinata recognized the jacket.  Huh.

    “Hinata-kun!”  He cried upon seeing the other approach the front entrance.  Hinata waved a hand at him.  Komaeda stood up from the bench.  “Hi!  How are you?  You look just how I remember you!”  He laughed, grinning from ear to ear.

    Hinata smiled widely back at him.  “You look the same, too; it’s kind of amazing,”  he laughed, slightly, himself, and rubbed the back of his neck.  “I mean, I guess it hasn’t been that long, so it makes sense…um, I’m good!  It’s nice to get out of the house for something other than work.”  

    “Yes, I bet.”  Komaeda nodded, looking him up and down.  “You still don’t seem to know how to use a hairbrush,”  he teased.

    “‘Could say the same for you.”  Hinata smirked.

    “Touché.”  The white-haired reached out and took one of Hinata’s hands.  “Should we go inside?”

    Hinata looked down at their hands, blinking.  Right; he’d forgotten that Komaeda was kind of touchy.  How could he have forgotten that part?

    “Hinata-kun?”

    “Oh, yes, of course – let’s go inside.”  The brunette nodded quickly, and Komaeda glanced at him before leading the other into the café.  

    The inside was quaint, quiet and Hinata briefly asked himself why he didn’t visit this place more often, consider how close he lived to it.  More than that, he wondered why he had never run into Komaeda in town before.  He figured he only worked nearby, but lived farther away.  There were only a couple people inside the place, and no one except for the barista behind the front counter looked up at them when they entered, which Hinata was grateful for.  Komaeda released his hand after a moment.

    “It’s a nice place, huh?”  He said.  “I like working here.  It’s not really all that busy but even when it is, it always seems to stay quiet.”  He hummed.  “It’s a nice atmosphere to work in.”

    “Yeah.”  Hinata replied with a nod.  “‘Seems like it,”  he added as they took a seat at a tiny table at the far left of the establishment, right beside a window.  In that moment, he couldn’t help but feel slightly antsy at the realization that he was outside, somewhere that wasn’t his house or his job or the supermarket; he fiddled with his fingers.  He was a target.  Komaeda was a target.  Everyone in the café was a target.  

    “‘Something the matter, Hinata-kun?”  Komaeda was looking at him worriedly. Is it showing that much?  The thought that he looked as worried as he suddenly felt made Hinata more uncomfortable.

    “Oh, um, no, I’m okay!”  Hinata waved his hands in front of him, forcing a smile.  “Just, um, a little anxious.”

    “If it’s about this, there’s really no need for it!  You shouldn’t be anxious around someone like me, I–”

    “No, no, it’s not that.  This is, like, uh…this is the first time I’ve been out of the house for something other than work or getting food since…Chiaki died, and I…it’s weird.”

    “Oh.”  Komaeda nodded slowly, relaxing a bit.  “I’m sorry; we don’t have to be here if you don’t want to be here!  We can go to your house, instead, and just talk there…”

    That’d be a good idea if my house wasn’t a mess.  Hinata deflated.  He’d been slacking on cleaning for a few days, which didn’t normally happen; of course this had to be a time that it did. I don’t want that to be his impression of me…

    “Um…I don’t think that’ll work…”  Hinata looked away from him, feeling shameful at this point.  “Sorry, ‘guess I’m kinda ruining this–”

    “Oh, no, it’s okay!”  Komaeda smiled at him and he briefly believed it was okay.  “Well, we could go to my house, then.  If you want.”

    His house.  Hinata paused to think about it.  ‘Seems a little awkward…but…he did offer to come to mine, and that would’ve been awkward for him…I guess it’s fine.  He fought back a sigh; he was angry with himself but didn’t want Komaeda to get the wrong idea.

    “Okay,”  he said with a small nod.  “That sounds okay.”

    “Alright!”  The white-haired stood up from his chair.  “We’ll have to take my car,”  he added, as if it was a terrible consequence.

    “That’s fine,”  Hinata replied, warily glancing around as he stood.  

    “Okay.”  Komaeda shrugged, and went to the door, opening it for the two of them as they exited.  

    “…‘Sorry,”  Hinata said after a moment of silence between them as they walked to Komaeda’s car (which was a small silver Honda, he noted).  “You must think I’m nuts.”

    “No, not at all, Hinata-kun!”  The other laughed lightly, pulling his keys out of his jacket pocket.  “Really!  May I ask what exactly happened to your wife, for you to be so anxious, though?”

    Though he immediately felt tears in his eyes, Hinata felt…okay sharing with him.  There was still a pause of silence (that included them just standing there, Hinata looking around awkwardly and Komaeda holding the keys mid-air, not unlocking the car), though.  Hinata swallowed back the tears.  “She, uh, she was at the mall that got shot up in town.  Bell Mall?”  He couldn’t stop his voice from cracking, that time.

    “Oh.”  Komaeda’s smile suddenly fell.  “That’s…that’s really terrible,” he said, and finally unlocked the car.  Hinata walked around to the passenger side and stepped inside.

    Once they were both seated, and Komaeda was starting up the car, Hinata glanced at him.  

    “Uh…I get it if you don’t want to tell me, but…would you mind sharing what happened to…your boyfriend?”

    Hinata could’ve sworn he saw the man’s grip on the steering wheel tighten.  

    “He killed himself,”  he said after a moment, then smiled.  “That’s not really important, though.”

    Hinata stared at him for awhile, even as he pulled out of the parking lot.  He killed himself.  That’s just…fabulous.  He couldn’t help but wonder why.

    “That’s horrible,”  the brunette finally said.  “I’m so sorry, Komaeda.”

    “That’s fine!”  Komaeda replied, humming.  “It’s not your fault, anyway!  Don’t sweat it.”

    The brunette glanced away, feeling guilty for even asking.  He did ask me, though.  I mean, I guess it’s fair…

    They were mostly quiet for the rest of the drive; Hinata successfully made it awkward.  When they arrived, he glanced out the window and at the house they’d parked in front of.

    It was a fairly small, blue-gray…craftsmen, he believed.  It was lined with white – there was a white deck in front, in fact.  The door was a pale orange, which was kind of an ice contrast, and two large paneled windows were on either side.  It seemed…homey.  There were two potted plants on either side of the steps leading up to the deck.  Red flowers.

    “‘Coming?”  The other was looking at him, keys in one hand and other on the car door handle.  Hinata quickly nodded.

    “Yes, yeah.  Sorry,”  he added, and pushed the car door open.  The driveway, he noticed, was dirt.  There were also little to no trees in sight.  He didn’t bother asking where they were, though he was a little curious.

    “‘House’s nice,”  Hinata commented as he trailed behind the white-haired man, following him to the door.

    “Thank you.”  Komaeda laughed lightly.  “That’s nice of you to say.”

    The other merely nodded, still glancing around the unfamiliar area.  Komaeda had the door open in moment, and he followed him inside.

    They stepped onto a welcome mat the second they were through the door.  Komaeda kicked his shoes off and Hinata followed suit.  

    It was very open, and very modern, he noted, pleasantly surprised.  The walls were all white (with some paintings on them offsetting it here and there), the floors were dark hardwood, and there were wooden beams on the white ceiling.  It made for a nice touch.  They were standing in both the dining room and kitchen just upon entering; to his left was the dining room, to his right was the kitchen.  Both were tiny, but not so small that they seemed cramped.  The dining room table was small, circular, dark wood, and there were three matching chairs around it, a centerpiece of flowers in the center, and a small, black lighting fixture directly above.  There was also a gray area rug beneath the table, and a dark wood cabinet with glass panels in the far end of the room, presumably filled with China or…something of that sort.  The kitchen was brightly lit and almost all white; white cabinets, white counters, white island.  However, the stove (which was wedged between the cabinets on the left), fridge (on the far right of the room, on the corner where it led into a hallway) and sink (which was beside the stove, on the counter to its right) seemed to be stainless steel, and the counter and island tops were a dark marble, Hinata believed.  There was also a pale blue backsplash over the stove and sink.

    Directly ahead of them was a living area; a gray couch in the near-center with a tiny circular table with a lamp on it beside it, a dark coffee table in front of the couch with a couple candles on it, a TV on the farthest wall, some sort of cupboard to the right of the couch on the wall there.  That was all Hinata could see from the get-go.  There was very little decoration, and even less evidence that anyone even lived there.  It was still nice, somehow, though. Weird.

    All in all, the home looked like it had just been moved into.  It was virtually barren; he could only guess Komaeda was a minimalist of something.  Or he was moving.  He couldn’t have just cleaned it for Hinata’s visit, right?  He didn’t even know they’d be coming here.

    “Are you planning on moving?”  Hinata asked, and turned to him, genuinely curious.

    “Hm?”  Komaeda glanced at him, in the middle of hanging his keys on a tiny handle by the left the front door.  Hinata noticed, as well, that there was a calendar hanging on the right side of the door, marked with numbers too high to be on a calendar.  He’d ask about that later.  “Oh, no.  Why?”

    “It’s just so…clean in here.”

    “Oh, I just like cleaning!  It keeps me busy…I also like to keep it nice in case anyone should happen to drop by.  And – for my own sanity.  I lose things often, so I like to be assured that everything has a place and is in that place at all times.”

    Hinata was impressed.  “You do a really nice job of it, it’s beautiful in here.  Just kinda empty.”

    “Thank you.  And, yes, I don’t have all that much but again, what I do have is all in particular spots.”  Komaeda chuckled in that way of his and headed into the kitchen.  “Anyway, do you want anything to drink?”  He opened the fridge.  “I’ve got…iced tea.  And water, of course.  And there’s probably some coffee in the cupboards.”

    The brunette followed him, leaning on the island slightly.  He was still looking around, taking it in.  “Oh, uh – just water is okay,”  he insisted, smiling at the other.  “Thank you.”  

    “No problem!”  Komaeda hummed and walked over to a cabinet, reaching up and taking out a glass and then proceeding to fill it up with tap water.

    Hinata tapped his fingers against the marble surface of the island.  “Can I ask a dumb question?”  He said after a beat of silence.

    “Ask away!”  Komaeda replied, turning off the tap and moving to  hand him the glass.

    The man muttered a “thank you” as he took it.  “Um, what’s with the numbers on the calendar?  Like, not the date ones but the big ones that were, like, written on there.  I think I saw one that was like, in the 400s.  Do they mean something?”

    “Yes.”  Komaeda nodded.  “Something I’d rather not share; it’s a bit embarrassing.”

    “Oh, sure.”  Hinata broke his gaze.  “Sorry.”

    “Not a problem!”  The white-haired boy insisted.  “Don’t worry.  Anyway,”  he clasped his hands together.  “It’s my turn to ask a question.  What do you do for a living?”

    “Oh, I work in an office.  Nothing special.  I like, answer phone calls and stuff.”  He immediately felt embarrassed, sharing his boring old desk job.

    “Hmm.  Interesting.”  Komaeda nodded, as if it was truly interesting.  “What type of company do you work for?”

    “A window installation company.”  Hinata wanted to curl up and die.  This was very, very embarrassing.  Komaeda was probably a surgeon or a scientist or something.  He wouldn’t want to waste time talking to some dude he knew from college who asked people what type of windows they’d prefer over the phone for a living.

    “Ah!  That’s cool.  It sounds like a very leisurely job.  ‘Seems nice.”

    “It’s really boring, actually.”

    “So you’d prefer something with some life to it.”  Nodding seemed to be Komaeda’s thing.  Aside from laughing.

    “‘Guess so,”  Hinata replied, rubbing the back of his neck.  “What do you do?”

    “I work in retail,”  he told him.  “I’m a cashier.  Nothing special.  Pretty generic, actually.”

    “Really?”  Hinata tried not to look surprised.  He failed.  “With the house you have, you wouldn’t think that that, of all things, is…your job.”

    “I know…unimpressive, huh?  I mean, a piece of trash like me doesn’t need an amazing job that could be left for someone much more worthy, though.  I’ve got enough money to get by; my parents left me enough to retire, really, but I’ve got to do something with my time.”  

    He was rich.  Komaeda was rich.  He didn’t really show it.  That was weird, but kind of cool.  Cool that he didn’t take advantage of it.  Hinata felt privileged.

    The brunette chose to ignore the “trash” comment, as he remembered that was something Komaeda used to say very often in college, and it probably wasn’t going to do anything to say something.

    “Ah.  Yeah, of course.  But–I didn’t mean it was unimpressive, I was just surprised!”  He laughed awkwardly.  “Sorry.”

    “It’s okay.”  Komaeda waved a hand, smiling.  “So, anyway, do you have any kids?”

————————————-

    Talking with Komaeda felt therapeutic to Hinata in a way, despite how many times he said things that should be considered off-putting.  The brunette really, honestly, stopped minding after a while, and realized just how much he enjoyed his mere presence.  It was relaxing, and quite comforting to feel that way again.  Cleansing.  They talked until it was dark out.  Hinata got home at at least 7 p.m.  It seemed like, the longer they spoke, the easier the words came.  Instead of running out of things to talk about, they found more and more.     Komaeda drove him home that day, and this time the silence was more comfortable.  Hinata didn’t feel awkward in the slightest.  When he was dropped off at home, the white-haired smiled widely at him and waved as he drove away.  It left him in a good mood.  

    When he stepped into his house, however, that feeling vanished as if it had blown away with a gust of wind.  A feeling of guilt and sadness set in, like it had on Saturday after Souda left.  Maybe Hinata just…needed to be around people all the time.  That would be tough, unless he remarried…which wasn’t happening anytime soon, by any circumstance.  Hinata refused.  He just wanted Chiaki back.  He really, really wanted her back.  He wished all of this was a joke – that whatever or whoever had taken her would come out of nowhere with an arm around his wife and place her safely in Hinata’s arms instead.  

    When he laid down in bed that night, he couldn’t help but notice how empty the bed felt with the vacant space beside him.

————————————-

    Komaeda called back a few days after Hinata had been over his house – two days, to be exact.

    “I figured you wouldn’t mind me calling, but I guess that was kind of a bold assumption,”  Komaeda had told him sheepishly.  “But we had such a nice time when you came over, I figured–”

    “I had a great time.”  Hinata cut the man off before he could feel any worse about calling, which is where he knew it was going.  “You’re not bothering me by calling, okay?  I’m glad you called.  I would’ve, but–I don’t actually have your number, I totally forgot to ask you for it.”

    “Oh!”  Komaeda laughed into the phone.  He proceeded to tell the other his number, and Hinata wrote it down on the notepad he kept on his nightstand.  It seemed like it would be a regular occurrence for Komaeda to call when Hinata was in bed.

    “Okay, thanks.”  Hinata nodded to himself.  “It was stupid of me not to ask for it; I’m glad you called.”

    “Yes, me too!  I’d hate to lose contact again.”

    They talked for what had to be an hour after that.  They talked about nothing particular, just random things: a pretty bird Komaeda had seen, something Hinata had watched on TV; it was peaceful.  Reassuring.  He decided he really enjoyed talking to Komaeda because there was no stress involved.  Even if Chiaki did come up, the unsettled feeling Hinata got would vanish just as soon as it came.

———-

————————————-

———-

    Two months passed.

    Hinata and Komaeda made phone calls a regular thing.  Then, meeting regularly at one another’s houses became a thing.  The two months went by quickly, full of those two things and almost nothing else (other than working and buying food) for Hinata.  He enjoyed it.  It made him feel like he wasn’t so disconnected anymore; like he was putting himself out there, and getting better somehow.  Not only that, but it was refreshing to just sit and talk about all the fun they had in college, when they were younger.  Anything brought up was a fond memory.  Hinata never seemed to stop smiling during these interactions.  They grew closer with every conversation.

    On the days when Komaeda had work, Hinata sometimes visited him at the café.  On the days Hinata worked, Komaeda sometimes visited him at the office.  Those visits always brightening the brunette’s day – even when he was in a pissy mood.

    “This friendship seems to be…somethin’ else alright,”  Souda had told his friend the next time they saw each other, a bit awkwardly.  That’s right – friendship; Hinata refused to look at it as anything else.  “Pretty remarkable.  I’m glad he could make you this happy.”

    Was Hinata completely happy?  He figured as much, but he wasn’t really sure.  There was still that nagging feeling in his stomach every time he went to bed alone.  

    Komaeda came over to Hinata’s house one day as they approached the third month of constantly seeing each other (as Just Friends, of course).  He arrived unannounced, but Hinata didn’t mind, because the second he opened the door the white-haired got this huge grin on his face and it, truthfully, melted his heart.  Wait, did it?  He quickly composed himself.

    “Hi, Hinata-kun!”

    “Komaeda!”  He said, and smiled back at his friend.  “Hi!  Why’re you here?”  The man asked.  “Not that I’m not…glad to see you.”

    “Oh, I just thought I’d drop by.  I was in the neighborhood,”  Komaeda explained.  Hinata waved him inside, and the other stepped in quickly, as if walking in front of a playing movie screen.  “I wanted to talk to you…”

    Hinata was instantly a little anxious.  It was just a natural reaction.  “Oh yeah?”  He shut the door.  “About what?”

    “Oh, just…”  Komaeda hesitated for a moment.  “Us.”

    That only made the brunette feel worse.  “Us”?  What was that supposed to mean?  Did Komaeda not want to hang out anymore?  God, he probably noticed how Hinata looked at him sometimes.  That wouldn’t make sense, though – the smiles he made at the other were always so full of joy.  That just wouldn’t make any sense!

    “It’s nothing bad…I don’t think.”  Komaeda’s words snapped him out of his thoughts.  “I still really like you.”  It was like he read Hinata’s mind.  The man blinked at his friend.

    “I wasn’t thinking that,”  he lied.

    “Okay.”  Komaeda smiled sweetly.  “Do you want to sit down?”

    Was this a conversation they’d need to sit down for?  “Sure.”  Hinata led him to the living room and plopped down on the couch.  Komaeda slowly sat beside him.  It was quiet in the room for a few moments, which didn’t normally happen.

    “Our friendship is interesting, don’t you think?”  The other man jumped straight into it.  He didn’t waste any time.  Hinata was kind of impressed at his ability to skip all the small talk.  

    “Sure,”  he replied.  “Why?”

    “It’s just amazing to me!  How we just…became friends again after not even seeing one another for so long.”  The white-haired laughed lightly.  “I feel very connected with you.”

    Hinata suddenly felt awkward.  Why?  “Yeah, me too.  It’s nice to have a friend like you again,”  he said.  “Not that I don’t appreciate my other friends.  It’s just different, I guess.”

    “Mhmm.”  Komaeda nodded slowly, staring at him.  Hinata glanced around the room, trying to avoid his gaze.  “I’ll understand if you don’t share my feelings,”  he went on.  “But I just feel like I need to tell you that I don’t believe I’ve felt the way I do when I’m with you since Izuru was alive.  But – I really don’t deserve you, do I?”  Ah.  Izuru was his boyfriend’s name.  The gears in Hinata’s head turned as Komaeda broke his stare and leaned back on the couch.  “No…you’re much too good for me.  He was, too.  That was foolish of me to say, huh?  Just forget i–”

    “Are you saying that you, like, want to date me?”  It was Hinata’s turn to stare.

    “Nevermi–”

    “Komaeda.”  They were staring at each other, at that point.  Hinata chose to notice, as well, just how close they were sitting to each other.  “Would you just answer something clearly?  It’s like you speak in riddles sometimes…”

    The man’s eyebrows furrowed.  “I just spoke on an instinct,”  he insisted.  “I didn’t really mean it…”

    Hinata could just tell he was lying.  He was quite poor at it, really.  He remembered, in college, he’d believed many of Komaeda’s lies without a second thought.  He was so dense back then, it was kind of pathetic.  The brunette sighed aloud, closing his eyes for only a moment.  When he opened them again, Komaeda had his hands folded in his lap and was gazing to the right.  He clearly did not know where to go with this.  Hinata took a minute to organize his own thoughts.  He thought about how he felt lighter every time Komaeda smiled; how his heart clenched when the other laughed; how he felt incredibly amused when noticing the things he unconsciously did (like talk with his hands, or furrow his eyebrows when invested in a conversation, or take Hinata by the hand to lead him somewhere, and then apologize once he noticed they were holding hands, or–lots of other things); how he just felt…elated, anytime he was with him.

    They were just friends, though, right?

    …Apparently not.

————————————-

    Hinata said it “just happened.”

    Well, it didn’t just happen; it happened and it was like, way too important to slap a “just” on it.  It really began the second Komaeda had basically said “I haven’t felt like this since Izuru was alive.”  It escalated, however, when Komaeda interrupted his internal struggle for the second time that night by saying “I should go,” and Hinata forgot any other nagging thought in his mind for that moment because the want to say “No, stay” trumped all of them.  Maybe that was it.

    All he really knew was that the white-haired was almost literally on top of him, seemingly trying to kiss him to death.  Honestly, Hinata was loving it.

    It started out slow, gentle, fairly tame:  Hinata pulled him back down to the couch and pressed their lips together.  They separated pretty quickly.  Then they kissed again, when they both realized they liked it, and then they just kept coming back for more.  Each one turned longer than the last, and then it turned feverish and Komaeda’s tongue was in his mouth and Hinata was pushing him down against the couch and then–

    And then kissing like that made Chiaki pop into Hinata’s mind and he just kept on kissing him, because he reveled in the familiar feeling and he hadn’t had it in so long and if he shut his eyes tight enough it was like he was really kissing her.

    It didn’t last long, though.  Hinata quickly remembered who he was actually kissing and everything instantly felt terribly wrong and he was ashamed with himself.  He pulled away abruptly.

    “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he gasped.  “I’m sorry, I can’t, this is wrong.”

    “Woah, hey,”  Komaeda breathed out, gripping Hinata’s arms.  Hinata pulled away, allowing the other to sit up.  He couldn’t look at him.  “What’s the matter?  Is it me?  I did something wrong, I’m so–”

    “No, no, not you.”  The other took another breath.  “I’m sorry, I just–it felt like, it felt like I was kissing her, and I just, I don’t want to kiss you and think about her that’s just not right an–”

    The white-haired cut him off.  “It’s okay.”  He laughed, as if it really was.  Hinata shook his head.  “No, really, it is.  I–I can’t say I wasn’t thinking about Izuru, myself, because I mean…it felt like I was kissing him.”  

    Hinata looked at him.  He was rubbing the back of his neck slightly, only half-sitting up.  “Oh.  Well, that’s fine, because I–”

    “But you said it felt like you were kissing Chiaki, too, right?”

    “Yes, but–”

    “So it’s fine,” Komaeda said softly, sitting up fully and taking one of Hinata’s hands.  Hinata stared at him.  “Because we loved them, right?  So that means that…the feeling, here, is the same, or at least similar – right?”

    The brunette was quiet for a while.  He was right, he supposed.  Right?  Yes.  That didn’t make Hinata feel better, actually.  It only made his head hurt.

    “I just don’t want…I don’t want to think about her if I’m kissing someone else,”  he practically whimpered.  It was kind of pathetic.  His throat felt tight.  “It just doesn’t feel right, but I don’t want to forget her, I still love her–”

    “You don’t have to stop loving her,”  Komaeda said gently.  “I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving Izuru.  Just because they’re gone – that doesn’t mean they have to totally disappear.”

    Hinata’s throat still felt tight; the feeling had, in fact, intensified.  He looked away again.  Then, he felt Komaeda’s hands on his face, wiping tears from his face.  When had he started crying?

    “Sorry,”  Komaeda mumbled when Hinata glanced at him again, and quickly retracted his hands.  “But, as I was saying, you don’t have to forget.  And neither do I.  I’m sure there are people in relationships that have lost lovers before and they still haven’t totally moved on, but…we can still go forward.”  He paused, clearly thinking his words over.  “I’m not forcing anything on you, though, I totally get it if that’s not what you’re looking for, or if you’re not ready for that, I could be useful for anything, th–”

    “No, no, I’m not thinking any of that, please stop.”  Hinata shook his head once again.  “I’m just trying to process…my thoughts right now.”  His eyebrows furrowed.  “Listen, I…really like you, okay, I really do.”  Komaeda seemed to deflate slightly at his words, like he already knew how the story would end.  “It’s just hard for me to accept them because…I feel like I’m betraying her, I feel like–” he paused, sucking in a breath.  “I feel like it’s too soon for me to be…in another relationship, because it hasn’t been long enough since she died, and I just…I don’t know, Komaeda, I don’t know.”

    “Well, it’s only been six months since she passed, right?  So…it’s understandable.  I get it.”  He nodded.  

    “I just–the thing is I think that I want to be with you, I just didn’t expect I feel this way again so soon after she passed it feels so, so wrong–”

    “You aren’t betraying her by feeling, Hinata,” Komaeda insisted.  “I promise you.  It’s only natural.  You don’t just stop feeling.  There’s billions of people on Earth, you know.”

    “I know,”  Hinata practically grumbled.  “I just–”

    “She’s not angry with you.  He’s not angry with me.  Though, again…”  He stood up from the couch, running a hand through his hair.  “I’m not trying to pressure you or..anything like that.  I just want you to know that.”

    They just looked at each other for awhile.  After maybe 30 seconds, Komaeda was clearly uncomfortable.  

    “Okay, well, I should go,”  he said.  “Sorry.  About everything.  I’m just–it’s to be expected of me, I’m sorry, I can’t imagine I let you down because I was too low to begin with for you to have any high expectation of me–”  he was already beginning to walk away.  “–but I guess I did let you down, I’m sorry–”

    Komaeda kept talking, but Hinata didn’t really hear past that part.  He’d pin anything on himself, wouldn’t he?  The brunette stood up, reached out and grabbed the other by the arm.  Komaeda was instantly quiet.

    “I said I should leave, Hinata.”

    “I don’t want you to leave.  And you don’t want to leave, either.  And also, seriously stop blaming yourself because I literally just told you what this was really about.  None of it’s your fault, idiot.”

    Komaeda laughed lightly.  “…Okay,”  he said after a moment.  “If you say so, I suppose…”

    “I just need to think about this, okay?”  Hinata released his arm.  “Give me a day?”

    “Of course.  However long you need.  Don’t feel obligated,”  Komaeda told him.  “Please.”

    “I’ll call you tomorrow,”  Hinata promised.  He’d have everything figured out by then.  Hopefully.

————————————-

    Once Komaeda left, Hinata threw his jacket on and left, as well.  He hopped into his car and drove straight to the graveyard.  The graveyard where she was buried.  He’d only visited it once before.

    When he arrived, unease immediately washed over him.  He already didn’t like it.  There were countless tombstones of varying shapes, sizes, lengths; all smushed together, struggling to fit in the space inside the gates.  Contained.  Like there wasn’t enough room to fit all the bodies.

    Surprisingly, Hinata found Chiaki’s grave fairly quick.  She had a small tombstone, rounded at the top.  It was very new, not a sign of wear on it or a chip to be seen.  Hinata sat down in the grass in front of the stone.

    “You’re too good-hearted to hate me for this.  Right?”  That was the first thing he said.  “I’m so sorry.”  The tears were already flowing.  He let them.  “I didn’t want this to happen, but I guess I can’t help it now.  You always said that you–can’t control what you like, and you were right, I guess.”  He took a breath.  “I’m really sorry.  It’s my fault, too, I can’t just blame him like that; I chose to keep seeing him.  I could have stopped.”  The brunette leaned his elbows in the grass, face in his hands.  “I really like him.  But I love you, too.  Would you be angry if I decided to be with him?”  He paused for a moment, as if expecting a response.  Nothing came, as expected.

    “…I’m so sorry, Chiaki.  I’ll never stop loving you, never. Never, so long as I live.  And I’ll never forget you, I absolutely won’t.”  He took a shaky breath.  “I promise.  Never.”  His hands were wet.

    He talked to her for an hour more, at the least.

————————————-

    He called Komaeda the next day.  He just picked up his phone (when he was sitting in bed, of course) and dialed like it was nothing.

    It was, somehow, liberating, despite how he had felt the day before.  He felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest yet at the same time there was still guilt in the back of his mind.  He guessed that’s just how it would have to be for awhile.  He could live with that.

    The phone rang four time before the other man picked up.  Hinata held his breath through all four rings.

    “Hello?”  A groggy voice greeted him.  Hinata glanced at the clock on his nightstand;  11:00 a.m.  

    “Hi.  It’s me.”  The brunette cleared his throat.  “Did I wake you?”

    “No.  I’m just tired.  I didn’t sleep very well last night.”  He yawned into the receiver.  Hinata suddenly felt guiltier.  “Sorry.  How are you today, Hinata-kun?”

    “Good,”  Hinata said slowly.  “I’m good.  Um, I was calling to tell you something.”

    “Oh, yeah?”  Komaeda barely sounded interested; this was very different from his usual attitude.  He must have been extremely tired.  “What is it?”

    “I went to Chiaki’s grave last night.”  Though he would usually cry upon just saying her name, he didn’t even feel an urge to do so.  

    Komaeda was quiet for a moment.  “Really?”  He finally replied.  He seemed a bit more awake.  “That’s good…and?”

    “And I talked to her.  A lot.  And I thought a lot about a bunch of stuff.”

    “Mhmm.”

    “I talked to her about you.”

    No response.

    “I realized that she wouldn’t be angry with me.  She was too amazing to ever be angry about something so dumb.”  Hinata took a breath.  “I’ll never forget her.  And I’ll never be over her, I don’t think, but I really want to be with you,” he said, and continued without waiting for a response.  “I think it’s okay.  I want to–I don’t want to forget, and I don’t want to leave her behind, but I want to–I want to at least move on from–from this–”

    “Really?”  Komaeda cut him off.  “You’re really okay with this?  Another relationship?  After her?”

    “Yes,”  Hinata said, and he was sure.  “Are you okay with this?”

    “Of-of course I am,”  the man replied.  “…You know, I think they would want us to look forward.  ‘Be happy again.”

    Hinata nodded, even though he knew Komaeda couldn’t see him.  He was right.  That’s just what Chiaki would want.  “Yeah.  I think so, too.”

    There was a pause of silence between them, but it was comfortable.

    “Hinata-kun?”

    “You can drop the honorific, seriously.”

    Komaeda laughed.  “Okay, Hinata then.”

    “Hm?”

    “Do you still want to know what the numbers on my calendar mean?”

    Hinata blinked.  He’d forgotten all about that.  “If you’re comfortable sharing.”

    “I count,”  he said.  “I’ve been counting the days he’s been gone since he first died.”

    The brunette was quiet for a moment.  It made sense now.

    “Yeah.  So, we still have a long way to go.  Both of us.”  He laughed yet again, in that way of his.  “But I think that…you’re good for me.  And, as hard as it is for me to grasp, I think I might just be good for you, too.”

    “Hey, Komaeda?”

    “Yes?”

    “Come over.”