#hilbert effect

[rosiespokemontwitterau]

Cheren appreciation, anyone? 2.0 (｡’▽’｡)♡

[kaleidemaran]

WOLF 359 S1 CREW!! this is a redraw from years and years ago. art skills have changed, hera design has changed, and i actually drew hilbert this time. original and closeups under the cut

[reestallized]

More cookified trainers because they're so fun lol

[tsubasagirl]

My eighth photo featuring my fav (gen) protags

(dw they’re just having a friendly quarrel ‘3’)

[luckynatured]

"I've been so busy, I almost didn't have time to make this..." She sets down a beautifully decorated Maractus-themed birthday cake in front of Hilbert before kissing his cheek. "Happy Birthday, darling!"

Hilbert beams (and he can feel his heart fluttering at the term of endearment). This is the best birthday cake he had ever had, and not just because it's Maractus-themed! Carmen's gonna get such a kick out of this when she sees it!

"No worries. I'm just happy to spend it with you," Hilbert responds, pulling her close and kissing her lips.

[protect-namine]

hm now where have I heard that before..........

"allows weapons to damage mechon" now where have I heard that before

[lyricalchrysanthemum]

I need to make so many designs ragghhh

[commsroom]

circumstances surrounding the “leaked” documents about eiffel’s sentencing in need to know, as i understand them:

one of the very first things kepler does is offer eiffel, minkowski, and lovelace a drink. in true “at any given moment, kepler has about eighteen ulterior motives” spirit, it is, among other things, “hospitality”, sure, a test for eiffel, definitely, but… i think the main reaction he was checking for was minkowski’s. will she look at eiffel, or react to his reaction? how much does she know? how much does he trust her?

in don’t poke the bear, jacobi and maxwell stop lovelace from breaking into kepler’s server by pretending to be in on it with her: “she’s very good. it might turn into a problem.” / “i’ll run it by kepler.” two episodes later, files from kepler’s very secure server are “leaked.”

(the words "need to know" are spoken offhandedly by eiffel in the episode itself, but it also calls back to the excuse maxwell gives lovelace: "colonel kepler practically lives by the words 'need to know.' and, apparently, nothing i can say will ever convince him that i 'need to know' everything that's in our databanks.")

need to know opens with minkowski finishing an eleven hour shift, and then finding out kepler moved that shift to, well. now. she’s already frustrated and sleep deprived.

minkowski complains to kepler. jacobi and maxwell, on cue, barge in and complain to kepler. kepler assigns minkowski, jacobi, maxwell, and lovelace to punishment detail, taking eiffel out of the group because “you’re the only one who hasn’t wasted my time with pointless whining.” lovelace says: “um, i don’t think that i did any complaining either, so…” but that doesn’t matter. it’s just an excuse to remove eiffel from the group; he could just as easily have been singled out for special punishment. either way, it was going to happen.

hilbert isn’t there. not the most significant factor, since he’s already been effectively sidelined by kepler, but remember he already knows about eiffel’s sentencing, doesn’t care (about eiffel’s history OR about anyone else’s personal drama), and will later respond to minkowski asking by telling her to grow up and get back to work. it simplifies things to not factor him in.

consider the files themselves: we know from happy holidays that maxwell not talking to her family is common knowledge, but jacobi reacts like it’s news. we know from hera’s performance review flashback in memoria that kepler and jacobi were aware of “multiple attempted crew member homicides” in her record. the file about hera’s bentham directory was on kepler’s server. if there’s one person who would’ve been briefed on everything there was to know about hera, it would’ve been maxwell; her shock is entirely feigned. in fact, almost every reaction from jacobi and maxwell here is feigned. they’re black ops specialists who arrived prepared with divide-and-conquer tactics. there’s no reason they wouldn’t know these things. also note that none of the “leaks” reveal anything about the mission they didn’t already know, and that nothing about the si-5 is incriminating - if anything, it’s mostly silly and even humanizing. and, yes, all of that contextualizes maxwell’s reaction to “skiing?!”

eiffel’s file comes through last, once they’re already worn out. kepler sends eiffel to check on them at the same time so that he’ll walk in. jacobi shows minkowski the file. he lurks around waiting to see how her not-confrontation with eiffel goes, and then cements the thought in her head: what about you? are you going to care?

it’s true that there are aspects of the mission only kepler knows, but as far as information on the hephaestus crew goes (barring one very particular detail about lovelace)? that’s part of the job they were chosen for. when they kill the plant monster, kepler says: “you think we didn’t know about that thing? please. we listened to every log that you beamed down to canaveral.” kepler’s entire foundation is shaken when jacobi turns on him because this is how they operate: “have one person take the blame, say the mean things. meanwhile, the poor, betrayed little guy gets a bit more leeway - just enough to sneak up and hit you from behind.” the show is not subtle about any of this. you can pick apart any early-s3 interaction between two hephaestus crew members and an si-5 agent and see the same divide-and-conquer tactics at play. jacobi and maxwell are always - in morals, loyalty, job description - closer to kepler than they are to the hephaestus crew, and to even sort of believe otherwise is falling for that facade. it’s worth remembering that the hephaestus crew are prisoners. some of them were aware of it from the start, and some of them were lied to, but none of them were meant to leave. the si-5, on the other hand, went up there with a unified goal, and the knowing intention they would be, among other things, prison guards.

[imperial-evolution]

Relistening to Extreme Danger Bug and it's fucking chilling how Hilbert reacts to being in his old lab. He immediately knows where the light switch is. He immediately volunteers information about why Hera can't see the room. Like, he knows. He fucking knows, it's his goddamn room! he has the antidote on hand and has to pretend like he doesn't fucking know how effective it's gonna be. Jesus Christ.

[all-seeing-ifer]

while i'm herablogging i do think it's interesting from a medium perspective that bc of the medium it's in w359 is able to do something with hera which most sci fi doesn't get to do with ai characters, which is to completely erode the boundaries between hera and the rest of the cast. the spaceship ai that only manifests as a disembodied voice is a common sci fi trope, and usually the disembodied voice aspect serves to distance the audience from that character, even if that's not the intent. even if they're intended to be one of the gang, as it were, there's always going to be a level of disconnect for the audience. but because w359 is an audio drama... well, experientially for the audience, everyone is a disembodied voice, so hera truly is no different from any other character. yeah there's effects added to her voice to make it sound digital, but after a certain point that doesn't really registser any more than like, hilbert having a different accent to the others does. and there's many reasons why i don't think wolf would ever work if adapted into another medium (at least not without changing many many things) but a big one is that i just don't think hera's arc would work as well if she were presented by the medium as obviously different from everyone else

[throwsprose]

I have a few minisodes I think should have existed, but the ideas I think about the most are

Lovelace gets some of Kepler’s cologne on her and realizes that Jacobi and Maxwell are significantly more receptive to what she has to say. Her and Hilbert test the cologne for some sort of mind control agent only to find that si-5 is just kind of fucked up like that.

and

2. The lab is momentarily uninhabitable. Hilbert desperately searches the Hephaestus for a quiet place to work. Behind every door he tries is either a set of characters having a heart to heart, or a Kepler who is very eager to tell a story to someone. Hera is involved in like five of the conversations. It’s ambiguous whether Kepler is behind a few different doors because time is elapsed, or for the sake of comedic effect.

[nobodysdaydreams]

Thinking again about the parallels between Cutter and Pryce and Eiffel and Hera as characters and in terms of the dynamics of their relationships

Because Cutter is the Director of Communications and Eiffel is a communications officer.

Because Pryce is the AI Specialist and Hera is the AI modeled after her and they have the exact same voice.

Because Cutter and Eiffel both help Pryce and Hera communicate when they have communication difficulties (Cutter by handling the "people" aspects of their partnership, and Eiffel by helping Hera when she was dealing with everything Pryce and Hilbert did to her).

Because Pryce and Hera both struggle with disabilities (Pryce with the ones she was born with and Hera with the ones Pryce built into her design), and Cutter and Eiffel still view them as incredibly smart and capable even when others do not or did not because of these issues.

Because Cutter and Eiffel both drink and smoke and struggle to let go of have similar "bad habits" (though Cutter found a way to dodge the negative side effects and make his vices look "classy" so he doesn't have to try to fight the temptation like Eiffel does🙄)

Because Cutter and Eiffel both do ridiculous silly things despite the intensity of their situations that Pryce and Hera, as "serious" as they are, find endearing and occasionally indulge in, like Eiffel's fake radio show that he did with Hera and Cutter's silly tips in his manual that he wrote with Pryce. (Also the fact that Cutter dragged A GRAND PIANO onto the space station just to play it dramatically that one time for vibes, I'm sorry that was too extra).

Because Pryce and Hera both hold grudges against people they feel have wronged or humiliated them (although arguably Pryce has no ground to stand on, she still feels the need to show up those who have defied her. She insists on calling Hera, who went against her programming, an "it" and tries going against Cutter's orders to attempt revenge, telling Hera "she'll never be rid of her", and after Maxwell betrays Hera, Hera is reluctant to forgive her and coldly tells Eiffel that they "shouldn't throw funerals for animals").

Because Pryce and Hera use similar phrases in different contexts, though the most notable one I can think of is Pryce calling Doug "boy" (derogatory) and Hera calling Doug "good boy" (affectionate).

Because Cutter was scared when Pryce was in danger and Eiffel freaked out whenever Hera was hurt or in pain.

Because when Pryce was in danger, Cutter considered jeopardizing the mission goals for her, and Eiffel gave up his memories for Hera.

Because despite these similarities, there are differences between their relationships and aside from the obvious differences of "yeah they're similar, but Pryce and Cutter are really evil and really old", the other big difference between these sets of characters is Cutter telling Pryce that her one job is to "back his plays" and that the one thing that terrifies him isn't aliens, enemies, or the laws of physics, but her improvising in the moment vs. Eiffel telling Hera that he trusts her "with his life" with no questions asked.

Going insane over these parallels. Scratching at the walls. My favorite space friendship built on mutual love and trust vs. the grossest most immoral "partnership" of all time.

[oliviabutsmart]

Physics Friday #12: Interpreting Quantum Mechanics

Preamble: "God does not play dice"

Education Level: High School (Y9/10)

Topic: Quantum Mechanics (Physics)

Developing the Schrödinger Equation

Quantum mechanics had it's origin in the nature of light, and then over the course of 50 years from 1900 - 1950, the entire field of physics was overturned as we realised that waves weren't just limited to light, but everything.

This came to it's head in 1926 with the creation of the Schrödinger wave equation, which dictated how particle 'waves' evolve in time and space.

Now you've probably heard of the wavefunction. Effectively, it's a probability wave, where the amplitude of the wave corresponds to the most likely location you'd find the particle.

The wavefunction doesn't just involve a probability distribution in space, but also in other quantities.

For example, if you put an electron in a small box, you can imbue it with an energy.

But because of quantum mechanics, energy is quantised - there is an energy of X joules, 2X joules, 3X joules, etc. If you put an electron of 2.5X into the system it can't just work like that.

Which is why the electron forms a weighted combination of different states corresponding to specific multiples of our X value. And this superposition just so happens to be the average energy, which is considered the classical energy of the electron.

For example an electron with a superposition of 2X, 50% of the time, and being in state 3X 50% of the time. This averages out to 2.5X.

Collapsing the Wavefunction

But how do you find a particle? Or measure it's energy? Well, via what's known as the wavefunction collapse. When we take a look at the particle as a wave, it suddenly snaps to a specific value and then evolves from there.

This wavefunction collapse can occur for any observable property of the particle. If you measure the energy of our 2.5X particle in our above state, it's a 50/50 chance that you'll catch it in either state.

And once the coin flip occurs, the particle's energy will suddenly jump to 3X or 2X and remain at that value.

You may think this violates the conservation of energy, but remember that the act of 'measurement' intrinsically involves interacting with the electron - a very important point.

But wait, what does this collapse mean?

The Schrödinger equation does not explicitly mention this collapse. It simply describes the evolution of an undisturbed wavefunction. Thus, we need to include collapse as a part of the three postulates of QM:

Particle states are described by a wavefunction, a vector belonging to a Hilbert space

The Schrödinger equation dictates the time evolution of these states

Measurement of an observable (i.e. a hermitian operator) collapses the wavefunction to an observable's eigenstate (each eigenstate being associated with a probability of collapse)

But this still doesn't really answer the question. What is measurement? What counts as measuring an observable property of the particle?

Well here's the thing ... we don't have an answer ... it's an open question and the topic of this post.

The interpretations

An interpretation of quantum mechanics is effectively a theory that aims to answer this question: where and how does this measurement occur?

After almost a century since the formulation of standard QM, we have a litany of many interpretations, most of which fall on a spectrum of when exactly it occurs.

On one end, we have ideas where the wavefunction never existed in the first place, or that the wavefunction naturally collapses.

On the other, we have ideas that the wavefunction collapses at a point very far in the process, or even that it never collapses at all.

I'll talk about 6 of these interpretations, although some of these theories of collapse are more categories of theories.

Think of the Ocean (Pilot Wave)

In the 1920s, de Broglie developed an interpretation of quantum mechanics that posited that subatomic particles do, in fact, physically exist.

The source of the wavefunction and the probabilistic nature of quantum mechanics is caused by the particles being guided by a series of "pilot waves" - which push and move the particles around and imbue them with the motion and energy we observe.

The randomness comes from the fact that the waves themselves depend on the positions of all particles. These guiding waves are dictated by a special guiding equation.

dear lord that's complicated Image Credit: Wikipedia

This guiding equation, when applied to particles just so happen to result in our neat and clean Schrödinger equaiton.

So what happened to this theory?

The biggest problem with this theory is that it's non-local, meaning that the evolution of the guiding wave requires knowledge of all of the particles in the universe.

This of course, violates special relativity.

Another problem is that it lost the authors' support, or that the authors lost support. de Broglie rejected the theory in 1927 and David Bohm, the other author, was distanced from the other scientists for being outwardly socialist during the early red scares.

Pilot wave theory, in a sense, is so strict on the physicality of particles that it ends up sort-of wrapping around and becoming a many-worlds theory instead, to quote David Deustch:

Pilot-wave theories are parallel-universe theories in a state of chronic denial.

This arises from the problem of branching, a tacked-on attempt to reconcile the nature of the theory. That since the wavefunction was a physical thing, and the pilot wave and particles kept self-interacting, it sort of creates branching realities caused by distant communication with other particles.

Those silly numbers are hiding from us! (Hidden Variables)

The EPR (Einstein-Podolski-Rosen) paradox is another famous problem in QM, caused by entanglement.

Take two electrons and force them to collide with eachother, bounce off, and travel far into the distance. We know that after the interaction, these electrons propagate with free-particle wavefunctions. And we can fire them at eachother such that we don't know their momentums initially - i.e. they entangled.

Now wait for the electrons to travel very far away from eachother, and then measure one of the electrons momenta. In order to maintain conservation of energy, we instantly know what the momenta of the other electron is.

What we also know is that because of this measurement, and that the electron is entangled with the other, that we have just collapsed the other wavefunction instantaneously from a distance.

This is a problem, due to special relativity, we cannot transfer information faster than the speed of light. So clearly our QM is broken.

Hidden variable theories aim to solve the EPR paradox as well as just generally trying to interpret quantum mechanics. Effectively, there are a series of unobservable entities that dictate how wavefunctions collapse.

The wavefunction in the EPR paradox has a hidden variable stating the electrons' momenta so that we aren't violating causality, for example.

Fortunately, but unfortunately, this theory makes a testable prediction via Bell's theorem, which utilises entanglement to determine if these hidden variables work locally.

The experiments conducted show that only a non-local hidden variable theory is possible. One example of this just so happens to be our previous pilot-wave theory!

Observing isn't needed (Spontaneous Collapse)

We could be thinking of this wrong. Perhaps the wavefunction is real, and it is non-deterministic. But that at some point, it collapses on it's own.

There are several ways to do this, but at it's core, these are how the theories go:

There is an extra non-linear term in the Schrödinger equation, that is insignificant at the small scales

This non-linearity causes the wavefunction to be unstable, and prefers it to collapse to observable eigenvalues

With increasing complexity, this term becomes much more important, as more entanglement = more instability

The rate of decay increases as you entangle the system. And if a system is large enough, it's likely to collapse into a classical environment

Effectively, they say that the wavefunction will collapse on their own. And the reason we don't see it on larger scales, or see a collapse when measuring the system, is that the act of interaction (entanglement) causes the wavefunction to be more likely to collapse.

Of course, the theory has trouble reconciling with relativity. As entanglement works over large distances. Models can be made to try and say that entanglement over these distances increases instability for example, but we're still waiting on developments.

Lastly, we have the problem of tails. The wavefunction of a particle exists for all of physical space. At these far out distances, it is very possible for particles to get entangled with distant objects. Meaning that a wavefunction may end up collapsing further than we think.

The easy way out (Copenhagen)

The Copenhagen interpretation was developed in the 20s to attempt to come up with some placeholder answer to what collapse is. It is our middle-of-the-road theory which states that observation of an observable causes collapse.

Observation is defined as the act of applying an observable operator (like the energy operator) to the wavefunction by an external source to gain information on that operator's outcome.

The problem is that this is a meaningless statement. Because anytime a system entangles itself with something greater, it technically does this 'observation'.

Take the double split experiment.

Image Credit: Discovery Channel

What defines the moment of observation? Is it when:

The particles interact with the measuring laser

The measuring laser interacts with the larger observation device

An electronic signal is sent from the device to a computer

The light from the computer interacts with the conscious observer

We can't pinpoint the specific cut-off between the quantum world and the classical.

After all, we know that lasers can entangle themselves with atoms. And that electronic signals are nothing but moving electrons.

The point of the theory is that it's a placeholder. The definitions are ill-defined because we're kinda waiting for another theory to help us.

It's all in your head! (Consciousness)

The immediate answer to the Copenhagen interpretation could be that the collapse occurs at the end of the specified chain. When a conscious observer interacts with the entangled system.

It's a nice idea given that it kills two birds with one stone - it helps point to a physical theory on the nature of sentience, but also allows us to solve the measurement problem.

This does come into conflict with our current understanding of sentience. Our placeholder theorem is effectively that conscious experience is an emergent property of a series of interacting electrical signals in our brain.

This placeholder helps explain why humans are more 'sentient' than animals, or very young children, as we have a very active and complex central nervous system.

Of course, it's just a placeholder. We don't have an actual meaningful answer to sentience, and probably won't for a while. So for now it's left to the dark realm of god of the gaps.

Where it comes into conflict with QM is that a series of interacting electrical signals sounds exactly like an entangled system. So there clearly can't be just emergent properties involved otherwise we're just dealing with a spontaneous collapse theory.

There has to be something physically unique about a sentient brain to cause the collapse - effectively you require the existence of a soul. Something which is even further in the dark realms of philosophy.

Another issue is that it doesn't work with special relativity, as it violates the EPR paradox still.

We also need to determine what counts as sentient. Sentience isn't an on and off switch. There are many ways it can be expressed.

We know that some mammals have some form of conscious experience - so then are cats capable of collapsing the wavefunction?

Finally, what about the universe prior to consciousness? Did it just end up in an entangled nightmare until somehow we got an observer to collapse it all? How can something built of entangled particles end up collapsing itself at some given size?

This interpretation is very interesting, however if it turns out to be true, we'll be stuck with our measurement problem for quite a while.

For now, the biggest problem with the interpretation is that it opens the door to many, many quacks like Deepak Chopra. Who think that we can control this collapse with our minds and alter our reality by just thinking it away WoOOoOoWwowoWoOo!

Forever entangled (Many Worlds)

So, assuming that our consciousness theory is not the right answer, then what causes the collapse?

We can keep getting bigger and bigger:

The electrons in the double slit entangles with the laser photons entangles with the measurement device entangles with the electrical signals entangles with the computer entangles with the observer entangles with the room their in entangles with the Earth entangles with the solar system entangles with the galaxy ...

This out-spiralling entanglement continues without bound until the entire universe is in a superposition of states. And every time an interaction occurs we ourselves are being pulled into a new wavefunction.

This entanglement would've happened early, at about the time of cosmic inflation. But every new quantum event comes with a new set of entanglements.

This leads to the name Many Worlds, as we're creating new realities with every event.

Now it's important to note something important: this is not a multiverse theory. Multiverse theory is proposed source for cosmic inflation. Here, there is still one single universe. Much like how an electron in superposition isn't multiple actual electrons. The universe is just being treated as an electron.

This theory sounds far-fetched. Arguably the fact that it's unfalsifiable makes it not a good interpretation of QM. However, it is a lot simpler than the previous consciousness interpretation - it simply removes the need for a measurement process.

This satisfies Occam's razor as well. It doesn't require a mathematical formalism because the point of the theory is that the formalism doesn't exist.

However, not having a formalism makes it quite difficult to prove. It only seems to be correct in the sense that it doesn't necessarily say that measurement cannot happen, just that it's not measurement. It's entanglement.

Conclusion

Interestingly, the theories on the "wavefunction collapses early" side of the spectrum are more likely to be disproven. Primarily a consequence of the fact that they have the opportunity of making testable predictions.

Despite all of these interpretations, it's clear who stands as the best theories: spontaneous collapse and many worlds. They have their strengths, but they have fair grounding. You could argue that consciousness is also a fair contender, but it's a bit too much in the realm of fantasy - attempting to tie one big unanswered question with another.

Spontaneous collapse has proper mathematical formalism while many worlds seems to work well in an Occam's razor sense.

Regardless, that is a surface-level exploration into the many different ways we have attempted to answer the measurement problem. I hope y'all enjoyed this post and god I need to make them less long.

Please can someone fix this inverted colours issue it's like causing all of my colours on these posts to invert too thx

Reference post: https://www.tumblr.com/oliviabutsmart/732200630726377472/for-some-reason-some-reasons-only-some-images-i

Anyways, feedback appreciated, follow if want, send memes and send help.

[kaiasky]

the important thing about me is if theres a thing like Magic or Agora Nomic, a set of rules that purport to Do Things by virtue of existing. in particular the phrasing "the rules cause" or "then, y happens" and ESPECIALLY when these sorts if gamestate-machines treat a player as part of the operation they control. (in magic if you float mana after casting a spell, you announce how much is floating. not "you MUST announce how much is floating" it's written as a thing that the action causes to happen. the way a creature can enter the graveyard, the rules of magic can also compel you to open your mouth and make sounds.)

1) i love this a lot 2) dear god i want to torture this type of gamestate machine.

like. The magic ruleset has 400.12 which says basically. if you shuffle your hand into your library, this means shuffle all cards in hand into your library. this does not change the existence or properties of the zone" your hand"

and this is a bit of a marbury v madison thing right. obviously you cannot shuffle the abstract concept of "your hand zone" into a deck of physical cards. But by treating it as something even worth clarifying you kinda implicitly make a claim that something could change the fundamental nature of the zones, just not in that way.

its hubris!!! thats not how a game works! its a very strange way to write a ruleset. if you open a family board game it is not written like this!

"when a player who is it tags a player who is not it, first the player who is it is granted immunity from being the subject of tags, expiring 5 seconds after the start of the tag. then, in one effect, the tagging player, if they are still it, loses 'it' and the tagged player gains 'it' (so there is never a moment where neither or both players are it.) if for any reason this effect fails, or at the end of the effect there is not an 'it', the gamestate reverts to immediately before the tagging player gained immunity."

like, if you're writing a tag video game sure, but if you're playing tag the rules are "if you get tagged by it, ur it and they aren't, and if you disagree, argue until people get mad and won't play with you anymore".

its wonderful, is the point. the spirit of hilbert still fights on to this day. stay strong king, if we keep making definitions we'll encompass all reality sooner or later.

The first thing i tried to do in blognomic was to pass a resolution that would give a rule a physical location on the board. because imagine if there's a rule like "you can pick up any game object that is in a room you're in". a very reasonable rule for gold coins but just a delicious little disaster waiting to happen for other game entities. i want to hurt the gamestate machine. i want to hit it like a pin~ata

[amazingmsme]

Don’t Be Silly

AN: can’t believe it’s already been a full week & I just about have all of next week fully written & ready to post as well! Here’s some wolf 359 fluff for y’all to enjoy, so let’s hear it for day 7! But first, quick question: can an ai be ticklish? Idk but Eiffel’s about to find out

Eiffel was a talker. Honestly, he could talk about anything if only there were someone willing to listen. Back home, few people cared to listen to his ramblings. Minkowski and Hilbert cared even less. And he didn't even want to try with Lovelace...

Hera wasn't like the rest of them. She would happily listen to him all day, and call him crazy, but he didn't think her interest was forced. No, she had a natural curiosity about her that drew her towards him like a magnet. She often kept him company as he rambled to the empty abyss of space, unsure if there even were any "dear listeners" out there.

She liked listening to him talk. She's surprisingly learned quite a lot from him. About earth, mostly. She supposed it was natural to miss your home when you're so far away from it.

He liked telling her about the things he missed. She didn't quite understand why, as he always seemed melancholy after their talks. But he would speak with such fond excitement, so it must bring him some joy to express his longing.

Today, he was talking about the weather of all things.

"Yup, you really don't know what you have until it's cruelly stripped away from you. But I miss it all. Yes dear listeners, I never thought I'd say this, but I miss allergies! I miss the cottonwood in the spring, in all its shitty, fuzzy glory and I miss the fucking ragweed! I want to go outside and sneeze my ass off and squint at everything I look at because it's too damn bright and I forgot my sunglasses because it was supposed to be cloudy and it's sunny out of nowhere!"

"That... doesn't really sound fun."

"Yeah, well, it's not. But it's at least real," he lamented, fiddling with a knob that did nothing. Or if it did, he wasn't aware.

Hera's breath hitched, and she hoped she could mask it as just a glitch. That was odd. She felt that. It wasn't the first time she could "feel" in a sense. She was deeply connected to her electronic mechanisms and coding, and she would definitely feel if something damaged either. She has sensors all around the ship: in the walls the ceilings, the equipment, she even has a few exterior sensors along the sides and docking bays. She'd felt that odd tingle shoot through her wires on a few rare occasions, but it had always been fleeting. Minkowski pressing random buttons on the motherboard to see what they did, Eiffel fixing a dent too close to a sensor, Minkowski clicking and dragging the mouse across the screen... If she could, she would've shuddered at the thought. She tried to focus on what he was saying.

"And they're always right! I don't know how, but every damn time a patch sprouts up, it rains! Guess that's where they got the name though, right?"

"What?"

"The rain flowers," he clarified, tapping his fingers on some buttons. Truth be told, most of the buttons and dials in the coms room were for show, like the decorative smoke stack on the Titanic. The real controls were localized to a single panel, and she had always assumed they had no effect on her. Now, she was glitching out as she fought the urge to laugh.

"Right, right," she agreed, wishing he would just stop twisting that knob.

Of course, she could never be so lucky.

"I tell ya, there's nothing like a good thunderstorm, a rocking chair on an enclosed porch, a cigarette and a cold beer. I really mean it, that is paradise. You can take your sunny beaches with all that fucking sand, I'm a doom and gloom weather kinda guy. But don't get me wrong! I'd literally kill to be on a nice, secluded beach-" he rambled on wistfully, dreaming of all the places that were better than here. She was having trouble focusing when his other hand tapped the empty keyboard, all the while he still played with that fucking dial-

"Wow, okay, glad my heartfelt longing is so funny," he sassed, seemingly out of nowhere. Then she realized, with subsequent horror, that he was giggling. What the hell was going on with her? She needed to get a grip, or maybe a systems reboot, have Minkowski check her wiring, whatever it was, she'd do that later. It took more effort to stop laughing than she would like to admit.

“N͞-͓̫̬̞ͩͮ́n͚̓̃͆̇͘͞o̲̮̼͍̿̀͠, I wasn't laughing at you!" She glitched slightly as she spoke, which wasn't exactly out of the norm for Hera, but it did make Eiffel pay more attention to what she was trying to say.

"Yeah? Then what's so funny?" he asked, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. Well, at least he'd stopped fiddling with that stupid dial.

"Well, I, uh... Ï̶͈ͣt̵͖͌ͧͥ̎̀’̆͘s̨̯ hard to explain," she struggled to come up with a straight answer.

"Yeah, yeah," he brushed her off, rolling his eyes.

"I promise I wasn't laughing at you!"

"Oh sure, I believe you!"

"Eiffel!" she whined, catching a glimpse of a smile. "I really wasn't! It's just... I don't know, maybe I have a wire loose somewhere." That seemed to make him concerned, which was the opposite of what she was going for.

"Are you okay? It doesn't hurt, does it?"

"No, it's nothing like that," she was quick to put his worries at ease. "But I'd appreciate it if you stopped messing with that control panel."

"Why? This one doesn't do anything," he back talked, purposefully pressing down on a few buttons. "See? Nothing happened!"

He didn't receive a response. Hera was too busy focusing on containing her laughter, but her lack of a response only served to pique his interest.

"Hera? You there?"

"Mhm!"

His smile looked... different somehow. He thought for a second before finally speaking, "Hey so I've got a question. And I've just been dying to know... Can an AI be ticklish?"

The question threw her off guard, and a short giggle slipped out. "Whahat? N-̭͎́n͊͞o, that's impossible! Come on Eiffel, d-̝͈̑dŏṅ̮’t͓͕͌ be silly."

"See, I'm not sure how impossible it actually is. I mean, you're pretty advanced-"

"Why would an AI even be ticklish?"

Eiffel shrugged. "I don't know, why do you feel pain?" Hera scoffed, and okay, yeah, blunt question.

"Probably to alert me to the well being of the ship. But that serves a purpose!"

"Maybe this does too," he taunted, reaching over to twitch the dial and she couldn't help but shriek.

"Eiffel! Dohohon't!"

"I knew it! You are ticklish! You know, they probably programmed you like this so we'd have some form of entertainment up here."

If she could, she'd be blushing right now. "They did nohohot!" she insisted. The worst part was that she really didn't know why, and that sounded like a cruel, ironic punishment they'd inflict on her. Sure, give the rogue AI the most embarrassing human weakness.

Except... she wasn't entirely sure it was a built in punishment. What if they had designed her specifically to feel more human? Or was it truly just the way her sensors reacted to certain input?

"No no, I can see what they were going for! It's like a video game!" he chuckled gleefully, continuing to play with the extra control panel.

"Shut up, noho it's not!" she scolded. He added his other hand to the mix, pressing buttons and flipping switches. She squealed, and the lights began to flicker.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? Just think of all the fun you've been missing out on!"

"Ahahahactually I haven't been missing out ohon anything," she sassed before a loud squeal burst from her speakers.

"Well I have! I've been curious about this for months!" he exclaimed, continuing to press the buttons randomly.

Months? No, he wasn't serious, he was just saying that to mess with her! He would've asked as soon as the question entered his mind, like today. If he thought she was ticklish, he would've tried something long before now. But then she remembered all the times in the past few weeks where he would press random buttons, flip switches and pull levers at random. He even willingly offered to do repairs on some severed wires, and he made sure to take as much time as possible. She was able to brush off her reactions then, claiming it just pinched a little. Had he known the whole time?

"Wait ahaha second, Eiffehehel did you know?" she accused before he sent her into another giggle fit as he slid the faders up and down on the board.

"I just wanted to test it out and see-"

"You sneaky little bihihitch!"

"Eh, I've been called worse," he shrugged off the insult.

"Why dihidn't you tell mehehe?" The sincerity of the question made Eiffel pause.

"I... thought you knew?"

"How would I know?"

"Uh, because you can feel it," he deadpanned. Hera really wished she could roll her eyes.

"Well, yeah, but I didn't know what it was! I thought it was like... a bug in my system or something!"

"Oh it's a bug alright," he grinned devilishly. "A tickle bug!" To make his point, he pressed as many buttons as he could with his left hand and turned the dial with his right. Hera squealed, and she didn't even know her voice box went up that high.

"Eiffel! Ihihi'm serious!"

"Alright, I'll stop. For now," he added cryptically, but true to his word, he retracted his hands.

Hera panted for "breath," even though she didn't technic need to. But Eiffel understood the need to compose yourself, and didn't call her out on it.

"You're insufferable!" she finally said, amusement still clear in her voice.

"That's what they tell me," he proudly agreed. "So? What's the verdict?"

"Huh?"

"What're your thoughts on... all that," he gestured vaguely with his hand. She really wished he'd stop moving his fingers like that.

"Oh! Um, w̋ͩ-w̵̷̝el̥̺̏l͍, it felt kinda like my whole system was getting shocked, and I'm pretty sure I've never laughed that much before," she began to explain shyly.

"I didn't hear you say you hated it," Eiffel probed a little deeper.

"I̺͙̯ͦ͛̌ͧ-̲͖̭̝Ì̡-̘̣̈́͡͠I̵̜͗͆ͩͪ͜ d̈́ͨ̑̍̊̿̀i̘̳dň̰̯̯́’̭t͟-" Hera glitched slightly, and she started over. "Hate is a strong word." He didn't say anything else; he didn't have to. He just smiled and shook his head.

Hera found herself stuck halfway between excitement and dread for what the future held in store.

[wiseabsol]

One of my favorite details about Extreme Danger Bug is how much Hilbert is trolling the others in the lab. Like yeah I bet you know where the light is. I bet you know this was a laboratory. I bet you know how to unplug that computer. I bet you know how effective that anti-venom will be. And the whole, "It's not just there, Eiffel, there are more of them over here!" He was relishing spooking that man so much.