#hikerman

[fictionkinfessions]

Dear Darius:

How do i even start? Should i let my feelings bleed through my words? I just want to say. I'm so sorry.

I know you love me, Darius, i love you too. But i always question, did you ever fully forgive me? How did you forget all those years where you hated me? Did you even hate me? I think that's what you should have felt towards me.

I always try to tell myself that it was Odalia's fault, but maybe, i should have been stronger too. I should have stood up for myself, i should have stayed with you. Things could have been much better, maybe my kids wouldn't exist... I don't like thinking about that.

I'm sorry, Darius. I want to explain myself desperately, i want you to see my heart bleed the emotions i should have explained sooner. I always loved you, there wasn't a single time where i didn't love you, and i'm so, deeply sorry for not showing it.

I had a hard time growing up, you know that, i know that is no excuse. Odalia was my world for half of my life, you know that too, i know that is no excuse either. I chose her over you, i never should have, i didn't do it because i loved her, i did it because i thought that my world would crumble if i didn't choose her. I was afraid, i shouldn't have been. I'm sorry for how hurt i made you feel. I always think about how my life would have been if i chose you sooner. But i also think a lot about how our lives would have been if Odalia wasn't like that. I always ask myself, what would have changed if she was good? If she genuenly loved me? If she never did what she did, i would've never had to choose, and i would have been happy with you from the start.

I love you Darius, i love you, i always did, i never stopped loving you.

Even if it was late, i'm happy i shared my life with you, i'm glad my son calls you "dadius" as a joke, i'm glad my daughter asks you for advice, i'm glad i got to have another son, i'm glad i got to truly experience my sexuality with you. I'm thankful that you waited for me.

Maybe you never truly hated me, the same way i never truly stopped loving you.

Your husband, Alador Blight-Hikerman

- From an Alador Blight fictionkin (from The Owl House), to any Darius that feels like this is for him. Even if i was specificly talking about my own canon.

p

[versiego]

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