#hiiii mutuals if you read this please dont add anything in replies ok <3 im venting | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hananono · 4 months ago

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been having like. idk some kind of internal crisis i guess lately where the life path im being expected to follow and the actual state of the system (living in the imperial core and inescapably benefitting from the oppression and harm caused to others just by existing even if i move somewhere else) are brushing up against each other and im like. fuck man what do i do! i still have to get up every day and look for a job even though people are being murdered en masse for the maintenance of a system that exists to bring me cheap products that fall apart in a month. fuck this stupid baka life i guess.

#and yes i understand that my feelings here ultimately do not matter. me feeling bad does not fix anything #but im also at a point in my life where if im not at least feeling bad what the hell else am i doing?#sometimes it feels like me just being alive is making life worse for people outside the us I'll never get to meet #and like i KNOOOOOW its just stupid liberal white guilt i know its the product of the hyperindividualized culture within i was raised #but like that doesnt make the despair pit less dispair-y. it just makes me feel stupid for having these feelings in the first place.#and like sure. ok. yeah. im stupid. people are still dying and i am not capable of contributing more than a couple dollars to help #cant even join local orgs n shit bc i have no transportation #maaaaan fuck my stupid baka life #tantrum hole #hiiii mutuals if you read this please dont add anything in replies ok <3 im venting

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