#high enough by k.flay was playing in the background of me writing this

[natasha-in-space]

High Enough

Unknown/gn!reader;

For day 1 of Mystictober: favorite character/dance. I will be doing only a handful of these this year around, depending on which promts get me inspired enough to write something! This one's very self-indulgent. I always thought of what would have happened if you got a chance to interact with Unknown in the game. What if he shows up at the party?

"I never would have expected to see someone as mysterious and broody as you in the middle of such a posh event, Mr. Unknown."

You only laughed as your dance partner tightened his hold on your hand in response to your little jab, his cold eyes narrowing at you in a silent warning. A warning that only encouraged you to get ever bolder with your relentless teasing.

It's common knowledge to avoid playing with fire, unless you want to get burned. Alas, you were never good at following this saying. After all, who in their right mind would listen to a complete stranger and go to some remote location with minimum fuss? You didn’t know whether you were really that stupid, naive, or you simply didn’t care about your own life anymore. Perhaps, the truth was somewhere in the middle, as it often was. Either way, your every choice lead you to this very moment: with you now swaying to the soft jazzy melody, a man you met face to face for the very first time as your partner.

And, despite all the glaring red flags, you felt oddly at peace with it.

It was hard to see any red when all your eyes could focus on was this beautifully harsh mint that pulled you in, like an enchanted lake would lure some poor traveler's soul in those old-timey tales you would read as a child.

You knew that you should probably try to notify Seven of the presence of the very same hacker that has been tormenting their organization for days now. You knew that what you were doing right now was stupid at best, and outright dangerous at worst. You knew that this wouldn't end in your favor, regardless of how much fun you were having in the present. But, you also knew that you wouldn't do the right thing here. You had every opportunity to contact Seven and relay all the important info to him, once Unknown contacted you again for the first time a few weeks ago.

Yet, you didn't. You never did. Not even once. Not a single slip of the tongue left your lips about your secret guardian angel who was watching over your every move and word. Or, was he a devil? His smirk was certainly devilish, in the best way possible.

Instead, you indulged in this mysterious man's attention, cryptic messages sent between you two leaving you reading in between the lines, hungry for answers you knew you wouldn't find. You were just a plaything to him. A tool. His eyes. And yet, something about that left your heart fluttering in your chest, much to your own bewilderment and curiosity. You were connected. What you saw, he saw. What you heard, he heard. Something was alluring about knowing that someone was watching over your every move with such precision.

Maybe, you just weren't right in the head.

You brought up the idea of him going to the party as a joke, really. In hindsight, you probably should have known Unknown doesn't do jokes. Despite everything, you were unsure if he would arrive up until the very last moment. That is until you got a message from him. In a classic Unknown fashion, it was something that would surely make chills run up your spine if you were someone of sound mind. Nothing but the short: 'I see you ^^', that left you looking around the ballroom, as if you forgot where you were for a second. He wouldn't reveal himself to you for another 20 minutes or so, pulling you along for a frustrating game of cat and mouse. And, despite you supposedly being in the role of a cat in this game, you never felt more exposed. Much to your disappointment, he didn't let you find him in the end. He came to you instead.

When it came to Unknown, the game was always rigged from the start. He was the one in control, holding all the cards, and he didn't try very hard to hide that from you. In fact, you were pretty sure he found your little games exciting in his own strange twisted way. He enjoyed toying with you, and you played right into his hands every time. Like a good little tool, you were.

His appearance definitely blended well with the party. No one would suspect that the young man the party coordinator chose as their dancing partner for the night was of any threat at all. Truth be told, the moment he finally revealed himself to you fully, you found your breath getting caught up in your throat as you took him in, no physical barriers or mind games stopping you this time around. Unknown wore a captivatingly dark tailcoat adorned with mint patterns, and, if you squinted very hard, you could make out an eye or two between the thin intertwined lines. It was somewhat funny. As if he just couldn't help but make a point of him keeping his eyes on you at all times. The captivating mint accents on his black tailcoat certainly brought out his eyes of the very same odd color, making it that much more easier for you to get lost in them. You wondered if he wore contacts. Such eye color didn't seem natural. Then again, Unknown was always unpredictable, full of mysteries you would never solve, unless he let you. The plain white button-up he wore underneath his tailcoat was unbuttoned at the collar just enough for you to see a slick black choker around his neck. You certainly didn't have any naughty thoughts of hooking your finger under it to pull him closer to you, until he was pressed flush against you. Not even once. His white hair with pinkish ends was messy, not at all styled to look neatly combed like the rest of the guests here, and you couldn't help but marvel at the way his slightly curly locks would sometimes fall over his eyes, making the desire to reach in and brush them aside almost unbearable. He was simply exquisite to look at. A lovely treat for your eyes. Or, was he more like poison? Luring you in with this irresistible facade, only to capture you in his claws once you were too close for comfort?

No matter what he was, you hoped he felt the same way about your party outfit as well. Maybe it was just your wishful thinking, but you swore you caught him occasionally looking you up and down, the intensity in his gaze increasing ever so slightly, as he would then swiftly pull you close in your dance, making your body brush up against his ever so slightly. Judging from the low chuckle that would rumble in his throat whenever he did that, he knew exactly what he was doing to you. So, is that really such a crime to pay him back a little?

"You sure have a lot of sass for someone who's supposed to be so seemingly perfect, party coordinator." Unknown hissed just loud enough for you to hear, suddenly dipping you as you gasped and stared up into his eyes, completely taken aback by this unexpected move. He didn't have to do much to leave you breathless. And you didn't really try to conceal that fact from him. Just as quickly, you were brought right back up, with him now twirling you around, your back pressing up against his chest. His hands playfully slid down your sides, until they gripped onto your hips, leaving you trembling in place, your face suddenly growing too hot for comfort. You barely managed to suppress a choked whimper as his breath ghosted the shell of your ear in such a delicious way. "You're in no position to tease me, Y/N. But, I admire your boldness. Makes it that much more tempting for me to tame you. Oh, but you probably would like that, wouldn't you? That's why you left those bastards in the dust without a second thought. You know your place."

Fuck, what are you even supposed to say to that? In fact, it was becoming difficult for you to even think straight, not with the heat of his body against your back making you feel all hot and bothered. You gulped. "...Is it too early to take you up on that offer of yours?"

Both of you were well aware of what you were referring to. It was the very first message he sent you after you foolishly stepped into Rika's apartment at his request, essentially sealing your fate.

'It'll be really fun from now on. Enjoy your time with everyone. I'll go get you soon.'

Your chin was tickled by a gruff chuckle as his thumb caressed your hip. God, this man was driving you wild. "Patience, dear party coordinator. The end will be the same either way. But, if you do a good job for me... I might consider giving you a reward once that time comes."

"A reward?"

As his chapped lips briefly brushed against your cheek, you could only gasp, trembling in his arms like the silly butterfly you were. Except, this butterfly landed into the spider's web willingly. You wondered what that meant for you.

"I'll personally welcome you to our eternal party. Consider this your personal invitation to paradise, prince/ss."

[phonaesthemes]

a list of asks

@padawanyugi tagged me in this, but Tumblr decided to eat any notification that I got tagged, so I’m glad I saw it on my dash because I like filling these things out. Thanks for tagging me! I may have typed A Lot.

Favorites: What types of books do you enjoy? Tell about what you’ve read recently (Or maybe about a book you hated recently!)I like spec-fic and sci-fi, although less “hard” science fiction, and I also enjoy fantasy. I read a lot of YA even though I’m in my 30s just because it seems easy to find a story I want to read and I’m not usually in the mood for dense prose.

I’ve been rereading the Wheel of Time series since it’s getting an Amazon TV show; it was my first non-LOTR fantasy series and I love it to death, warts and all, although I love joking about the weak points with other people who’ve read it. I think the last other thing I read was A Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue, which was a queer YA historical fiction, and it was a lot of fun. I wish I’d had access to all these queer stories when I was an actual teenager, but better late than never.

What types of music do you like to listen to? Share five songs from your music library. I really do like a bit of everything, although I gravitate towards certain genres more often depending on the season or time of day, so I’m going to cheat and pick 5 per season. Summer for me is lots of peppy pop (pride playlists!), punk and rock and punk-adjacent stuff, just upbeat stuff in general. -Weekender, by The Royal They -Break My Heart, by Dua Lipa -Toutes les femmes savent danser, by Loud -Ruby Soho, by Rancid -Womanarchist, by Bad Cop, Bad Cop

In the fall, my inner goth kid craves darkwave, goth rock, dramatic folk, roots rock, and also anything that reminds me of Halloween. -Iuka, by the Secret Sisters -Bela Lugosi’s Dead, by Bauhaus -How’s It Gonna End, by Tom Waits -Under the Milky Way, by The Church -I Put a Spell on You, by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins I could go on about the Christmas music I like at length (Boney M’s Christmas album slaps, ngl) but I’ll just skip that and say that I listen to more classical and piano pieces in the winter. I’m terrible at remembering names, so artists only: -Ludovico Einaudi -Chopin -Debussy -Saint-Saëns -Dvořák And in spring I’m usually just depressed af and listen to whatever. -FML, by K.Flay -Weird Part of the Night, by Louis Cole -Juodaan Viinaa, by Korpiklaani -P.O.H.U.I., by Carla’s Dreams -Marryuna, by Baker Boy

Do you have a show or movie that you can just put on anytime and it’s your comfort? Definitely Star Trek. I’ve rewatched the various iterations (except TOS) so many times. Also Mean Girls and Bring It On, idk why.

Do you have a favorite dessert? Tiramisu or creme brulée! Or macarons. I don’t eat dessert really unless I’m at a restaurant.

Do you have a favorite cold drink? Sparkling water, hands down.

Do you have a favorite game? The hours I have put into the SIms in my lifetime is probably shameful, although I haven’t played in a while. Don’t Starve is another contender for hours played, but I am also really fond everything by Amanita Design

Do you have a favorite part of your self care/beauty/health routine? I haven’t been doing it much lately since I’ve been dealing with some uncertain health issues with my joints (actually have a rheumatologist appointment later today), but savasana after a long yoga workout is borderline ecstasy.

Do you have a favorite type of take-out food? Indian for sure.

What’s your favorite type of exercise/physical activity? I have a love-hate relationship with running. I don’t actually love it but I love how I feel after. I really enjoy yoga. I love playing in the water at the beach, bodyboarding and swimming.

Pick between: (you choose the context)

Cook or bake? (I love cooking A Lot)

Space or ocean? (Hard to pick, but I grew up by the ocean and it’s 100% my happy place)

Chocolate or vanilla?

City or suburb or rural? (I grew up in an isolated rural village and I miss the quiet and the slower pace of life, but I do not miss the lack of amenities and opportunities, or the smalltown gossip. I also don’t drive bc of epilepsy, so I’m fucked as far as transport in rural settings.)

Past or future?

Shower in the morning or evening?

Mac/Apple or PC/Android? (Linux in general!)

Sing or dance?  (I don’t have an amazing voice but I can carry a tune without it being painful, and I love singing along with songs.)

Get up early or sleep in? (I actually love sleeping in but with two kids, early morning is my only time to myself, so I wake up before 6 most days AGGH.)

Shoes, socks, or bare feet? (Hate socks. I’m barefoot at home all year round.)

Marker, crayon, or pencil? Pen!

Tea, coffee, or hot chocolate? (Coffee in the morning, tea later on.)

Random questions:

Have you ever had any pets? (Had dogs and a cat as a kid, and as an adult I’ve had betta fish and cats, and I have a cat currently.)

What is your academic background/job field? I did my undergrad in linguistics, and I am currently a stay-at-home dad lol. I do freelance editing and transcription on the side. I don’t think I’ll ever work in my field bc I really don’t have the energy to go to grad school.

What’s something random that you’re into (even if you aren’t good at it)? I signed up for a Cape Breton step dancing class in university and I loved it.

Are you good at putting away your clean laundry right away? It depends on the day, but generally yes. Mine and everyone else’s. When I lived alone? Absolutely not.

What’s one of your pet peeves? Someone trying to have a conversation with me when they have the radio or TV on. I can’t follow what you’re saying if someone else is speaking! I hate having that stuff on as background noise in general.

What’s something you’re pretty good at? I’m a great cook.

What’s the most recent nice thing you bought for yourself? A new conditioner ig? lol

Can you sew? I can mend a small tear or sew on a button, but it’s been years since I did more than that.

What’s a chore you hate (or a chore you enjoy)? I hate vacuuming so much. So much. Maybe if I had a better vaccuum cleaner I wouldn’t mind it, but I just feel like I’m fighting with the stupid thing, getting caught up on its own cords, caught on furniture, can’t quiiiite reach a spot... HATE IT. I like shoveling snow sometimes, though.

Tell us a fun fact about yourself. I am 20 years older than my youngest sibling, and five minutes younger than my “oldest” sibling.

Never have I ever... Gone fishing, even though I’m from a fishing community.

What extracurriculars did/do you do in school? In high school, I played trumpet in band until the band got dissolved from lack of funding. I played soccer one year, was in a play another year. We had an art club for like a semester that I was in. In university the first time round, I did step dancing and intramural hide and seek  Second time around, I was in the linguistics club to help with assignments. (We were very much encouraged to work in pairs or groups for a lot of different classes. The only thing was that you did need to list your group members on the assignment so the prof knew who you worked with. My first morphology class in particular, we had a whole homework club where a huge portion of the class got together to work through assignments and help each other understand, and the prof would quite often show up. </tangent>

Deeper questions:

How’s your quarantine/last few months been? The cabin fever was really bad before the weather warmed up. I struggle with seasonal depression every spring, and it’s gotten much worse since we moved to Edmonton because of how long the winters are. (Snow from September to May/June? Fucccck.) It’s frankly horrifying to look at what’s going on in the US, but even though we have far fewer cases here, I’m really anxious that we’ll see another wave soon. Otherwise, I think I’ve adjusted. Home-schooling, hand-sanitizing, social distancing, masks...All feels kind of normal now, which should maybe concern me.

What do you think of human nature/society/etc.? I am like the least philosophical person you will meet so I don’t think I really have many thoughts.

What’s something you are insecure about? Writing my L2 if a native speaker is gonna read it.

What do you think is the meaning of life/reason that humans exist in the universe? I don’t think there is one, and that doesn’t bother me.

Do you think you’re better (whatever that means to you) than you used to be? Definitely. My adolescence and early adulthood was rough. I was dealing with a lot of trauma, untreated bipolar disorder, and I self-harmed for a very long time. I could not imagine making it to 30, let alone being stable and happy. I actively avoided thinking about the future because it made me spiral. But I was lucky enough to get help, consistent help from a doctor I clicked with, and it made a world of difference. I think younger me would be disappointed at how mundane my life is, but I’m thrilled to be boring because boring means no life-upending mood episodes. I have a happy partnership and two delightful kids and I couldn’t ask for more.

What are your thoughts on religion? I’m not religious and my own experience being raised in the Catholic church was frankly traumatic, but I know that it’s a source of comfort and community for many others and I think that’s awesome for them.

Do you think that there are aliens out there? I think so, although I think that we may not even know what other kinds of life to look for and may not recognize it even if we find it.

What’s something that’s been on your mind recently? We’re moving cross-country in less than a month (driving, no less, nearly 5000 km) and I still have so much to do to get ready aosjdoajdoasijdoaijsd

[appledoom47]

Some questions? What about ALL THE QUESTIONS MWA HA HAAAA

YOUR SO EVIL BUT IMMA DO IT CAUSE ILY1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Spotify. I pay for that shit2. is your room messy or clean? UHHH messy3. what color are your eyes? Blue4. do you like your name? why? I do like my name. Because I like how it’s spelled differently from how most people spell it and because I was almost named Hedwig or Blanche. 4. what is your relationship status? Single5. describe your personality in 3 words or less. Funny, loud, memes6. what color hair do you have? Brown7. what kind of car do you drive? color? I don’t have a car right now cause I totaled the old one and can’t afford a new one rip8. where do you shop? Idk the store?9. how would you describe your style? The trash bin.10. favorite social media account. My tumblr I guess?11. what size bed do you have? It’s a twin.12. any siblings? Yeah I have a sister that’s 6 years older.13. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? Really I’d be happy living anywhere in the world but like I’d love to retire to Quito Ecuador. I went there when I was younger and I fell in love with that city.14. favorite snapchat filter? I don’t use Snapchat.15. favorite makeup brand(s). I don’t wear makeup cause I have super sensitive skin, all brands make me breakout.16. how many times a week do you shower? I try to shower every day I leave the house. Keyword is try. I have depression.17. favorite tv show? NOT TECHNICALLY TV BUT I LOVE RWBY18. shoe size? 9 1/219. how tall are you? 5’1. I’m short20. sandals or sneakers? I prefer to not wear shoes at all but I live in the north so I wear sneakers so my feet don’t fall off.21. do you go to the gym? I want to but I’m poor and lack transportation.22. Describe your dream date. Anything with someone I love that truly loves me back.23. How much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? Uhhh 5 dollars.24. what color socks are you wearing? I’m not wearing socks.25. How many pillows do you sleep with? Just one but it’s like a huge body pillow. Like a real one not an anime one.26. Do you have a job? what do you do? Yeah I work at McDonald’s.27. How many friends do you have? I don’t want to put numbers to this but I have a lot of larger friend groups spread out from different discord’s and tumblr and my friends I left behind when I moved.28. Whats the worst thing you have ever done? Oh god. I’ve done a lot. Like a lot a lot of terrible things. For the purpose of this imma go with starting to chew tobacco again. I’m trying to quit again but it’s hard.29. whats your favorite candle scent? I don’t have a good enough sense of smell to really smell candles.30. 3 favorite boy names. Mathias, Benjamin, and Peter.31. 3 favorite girl names. Alice, Jane, and Martha32. Favorite actor? Don’t really have one.33. favorite actress? IMMA COUNT VOICE ACTRESS AND SAY ARRYN ZECH34. who is your celebrity crush? ARRYN ZECH35. favorite movie? Hunchback of notre dame.36. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I used to read a lot but now I exclusively read fan fiction. So I’ll just say my fav right now is Scars by Donesses on ao3 cause that fic is FUCKING AMAZING.37. money or brains? Brains.38. do you have a nickname? what is it? Everyone irl calls me some form of my actual name and everyone online calls me Apple.39. how many times have you been to the hospital? Umm like I’ve been hospitalized once but I’ve been to the ER a lot.40. Top 10 favorite songs. DONT MAKE ME PICK. Have a playlist instead. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLIc3C_O6F9TV92tQBL9Q7DPBGvpz4yhIO thats all my music I love all of it.41. do you take any medications daily? Nope. Prob should tho42. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) depends on the day.43. what is your biggest fear? Being abandoned 44. how many kids do you want? As many as I’m physically able to have/ however many my future partner can stand.45. whats your go to hair style? I just leave it down.46. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) it’s a small townhouse.47. who is your role model? Don’t really have one.48. what was the last compliment you received? People have been saying I’m really good at writing angst as of late.49. what was the last text you sent? I asked my mom how much money I had on the card she runs for me. It’s my card but she has the app for some reason.50. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? I don’t remember I don’t think I ever believed in him.51. what is your dream car? I have a pic.52. opinion on smoking? Honestly I’m kinda numb to people who smoke because my mom smoked when I was growing up but I’d rather people didn’t for their health.53. do you go to college? The question here really is do I want to go back for the 3rd time and the answer is I don’t know.54. what is your dream job? Anything that I can enjoy while making enough money to live comfortably.55. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? Suburbs.56. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? Yes always.57. do you have freckles? No58. do you smile for pictures? I try too but I’m bad at it. Most of the time I end up trying to hide my face.59. how many pictures do you have on your phone? A lot. It’s all screen caps and memes.60. have you ever peed in the woods? Yes because my dad’s special interest is hiking and he used to bring me along all the time.61. do you still watch cartoons? Yes.62. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? Gotta go with job loyalty here.63. Favorite dipping sauce? Ranch64. what do you wear to bed? Nothing at all ;)65. have you ever won a spelling bee? No I suck at spelling I was always the first one out.66. what are your hobbies? I like editing pictures. Mostly memes.67. can you draw? Not really no. I want to get better tho.68. do you play an instrument? Yes I play piano and ukulele. Also I sing if that’s and instrument69. what was the last concert you saw? I got to see K.Flay back in October. It was rad as fuck.70. Tea or coffee? Depends on the time of day and availability71. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Dunkin.72. do you want to get married? Yes.73. what is your crush’s first and last initial? I don’t have a crush right now.74. are you going to change your last name when you get married? Probably.75. what color looks best on you? I’ve been told blue.76. do you miss anyone right now? Yeah77. do you sleep with your door open or closed? Closed78. do you believe in ghosts? Not really79. what is your biggest pet peeve? When bars fucking aDVERTISE THEIR HAPPY HOUR BUT ITS MORE THAN ONE HOUR.80. last person you called. Idk I haven’t called anyone in forever.81. favorite ice cream flavor? Rocky road82. regular oreos or golden oreos? Regular83. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? Rainbow cause I’m gay as fuck84. what shirt are you wearing? I’m not wearing a shirt right now.85. what is your phone background? It’s a monochrome mood board someone on one of my rwby servers made for me86. are you outgoing or shy? Outgoing if it’s a good day.87. do you like it when people play with your hair? I don’t know cause no one ever has.88. do you like your neighbors? I haven’t met them.89. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? I don’t really ever wash my face. I prob should.90. have you ever been high? Yeah. I used to smoke a lot of weed.91. have you ever been drunk? I’m a recovering alcoholic 92. last thing you ate? Avocado toast. Cause I’m a fucking millennial 93. favorite lyrics right now. I’m just gonna say all the lyrics to from shadows.94. summer or winter? Summer95. day or night? Night96. dark, milk, or white chocolate? Milk97. favorite month? March because birthday98. what is your zodiac sign. Pisces 99. who was the last person you cried in front of? All the people at my work cause I had a PTSD meltdown rip. I FUCKED UP THE NUMBERING AND PUT 4 TWICE BUT THATS ALL ONE HUNDRED