#hideko is so fucking funny

[faxxmodem]

wuickly failing this mission i accidentally locked in to the handmaiden instead

okay okay okay i gotta finish the draft tonight so i can print it and edit tomorrow morningggg. putting on the handmaiden and locking in

[wrenhavenriver]

top 5 books for you too! also, top 5 video games and top 5 movies, if you would like :3c

heeell yeah! top 5 books:

Salvage The Bones by Jesmyn Ward - an incredibly lyrical and deeply sad story of a family in the days leading up to Hurricane Katrina. i read it for the first time at a very shitty time in my life and the sibling relationships especially punched me directly in the heart. a tough read on many fronts (definitely look up/mind the content warnings if you have any "hard no" topics in your books) but the power and beauty of jesmyn ward's writing is something else.

Catch-22 by Joseph Heller - one of those rare high school assigned books that actually made an incredibly lasting impression. i'm glad 17-year-old me got all those reality checks about *checks notes* the horrors of war, the hollow uselessness of nationalism and being convinced to die for it, the absurdly circular reasoning that props up systems of power and the incompetence of the people at the top of them, the ability of bureaucracy to drive you to sheer sobbing madness, financial systems being wildly arbitrary at best and a fucking scam at worst, *takes breath*,

The Long Walk by Stephen King - look, I find most of Stephen King's work deeply annoying, but this one fucking hits. A Hunger Games-esque premise that's about self-destructive urges and toxic masculinity as much as it as about the actual, you know, ritualized dystopian death march. also the camaraderie that forms between these teenagers even in the most hideous of circumstances is so charming and funny and sweet. also also it's just, like, really gay (peter mcvries you mad bisexual disaster).

The Secret History by Donna Tartt. Sorry.

Anything by Octavia Butler really, but Dawn has a special place in my heart. The detail Butler put into all the different ways an alien species would be, well, alien to us--biological, linguistic, the makeup of family units, understandings of gender and sex, etc--and her description of humans as intelligent but highly hierarchical, and how these conflicting qualities could very well lead to our destruction...the hugely messy power dynamics not only between aliens and humans but among humans themselves...there's just so much to sink your teeth into, and it's only the first fucking book in the trilogy!

much more briefly because i'm giving myself eye strain, top 5 video games:

this is another one of those things that seems to shift every time i'm asked it but there are two (2) that will very likely never be budged from the list and those would be: have i mentioned this game called dishonored 2012 dev. arkane studios maybe one or eighteen hundred times over the last ten years; and bloodborne babey!!!

feeling like i need a zelda entry on here rn but i can't decide between majora's mask or twilight princess

fire emblem: awakening set me on the terrible path of anime chess obsession and i'm much less mad about it than i should be

also need a sengoku jidai media entry on here but i can't decide (x2) between sengoku basara or nioh which is hilarious because they are WILDLY different in tone. the duality of man

oh shit that's at least five? ask me again in a week and i'll have at least three different substitutions lmao

favorite movies:

the handmaiden. adapting fingersmith to 1930s korea is galaxy brain levels of genius and hideko and sook-hee are peak romance

saw pan's labyrinth for the first time at like. age 14? and it chemically altered my brain and introduced me to guillermo del toro's work and made me feel a lot of horrifying things. 10/10

need a ghibli entry on here but can't decide (x3) between princess mononoke and howl's moving castle, vote now on your phones

lord of the rings: the two towers. saw it six times in theaters when it originally came out and it's still my favorite of the series. can pretty much watch it by just closing my eyes at this point.

favorite disney/pixar is tangled. "i see the light" is also peak romance. wait what if hideko and sook-hee sang i see the light to each other

[a-tale-of-legends]

I have a wild dream story in my drafts but I'ma save that for later. So. The reason I'm so hesitant to put " Lucy is Kieran and Carmine's mom" in the Legendverse is her fucking eyes. They're red. Yukito and Hideko's eyes are good and grey respectively. I know I can just make shit up but it's BOTHERING me okay. This hc is soooooo fun but hnnnnnnnnnnng.

.....

It would be funny if Kiki and Cee were Barbara's kids instead. That would be hilarious. Not going with it, but very funny.

[oslo-in-the-summer-time]

If you had to pick 2 characters to be stuck in an elevator with (elevator is like. Average sized.) for an undefined amount of time (mystery...), who would you choose?

hmmmmm well that depends i think. ill give you a few answers for varying question perimeters (tm)

out of only my fangan characters: probably kioshi and tsutomu. kioshi because hed probably be able to get us out of the elevator (and i wouldnt find him annoying at all. hes just some guy) and tsutomu because hed probably be one of the easiest to get along with for an extended period of time.

out of fangan characters i think would be the most entertaining: hideko and katayama. i am getting told the entirety of homestuck lore and also getting grilled on my (in)ability to read clocks. id have a migraine within 5 minutes because they both talk Very Loud but its ok. i love them

out of fangan characters in general: probably frankie instein from danganronpa: deception examination and ishi majimera (/the drowned sys but preferably ishi is fronting) from welcome to camp despair. theyre both very smart, could remove us from the elevator at some point, and ishi would stop frankie from blowing us up in the process. also i think itd be very funny to watch them interact

out of general fangan that i think would be the most entertaining: harper oleander from danganronpa double or nothing and vanity constance from danganronpa: deception examination. theyd either be fighting or [redacted] within 5 seconds, and either way harper will be forcibly removed from the elevator at some point. twink death 🎉

marble hornets: probably brian and tim. itd be the funniest elevator ride probably unless tim gets stage fright in front of a stranger and just awkwardly stares me down for 20 minutes. which is also entirely possible

marble hornets if i wanted to pull my hair out: i only need one guy here and its alex. sorry. if the 2 guy minimum is mandatory then i also bring charlie from the matble hornets movie and see how long it takes for someone to die. i estimate 5 minutes

general media: hmmm. aoi asahina from danganronpa and joe tazuna from your turn to die. thatd be a very pleasant elevator ride i think. 2 funnyguys and me and we're having a blast

general media if i want to have a horrible day: nagito komaeda from danganronpa and evan myers from everymanhybrid. itd be so fucking funny. evan would literally be trolling nagito the whole time and nagito would be saying the most absurd shit. this setup also works with N (pkmn) or light yagami (death note) replacing nagito

[gaysails]

day 12 of pride month, another rewatch that I was super looking forward to! it did not disappoint but honestly the best part was watching it with my brother who hadn’t seen it before and getting to see his multiple “WHAT the FUCK” reactions throughout. love a movie that works to earn its surprise twists. love a movie where all the men are snakes. love a movie about women learning to care for and protect each other against all odds! the only drawback imo is how heavy-handed the f/f scenes are, especially given the subject matter of the film and hideko’s sexual abuse... I can’t help but feel like they could have done much more to depict the physical intimacy of her and sook-hee’s relationship in a way that contrasted with her objectification at the hands of men in her life (instead of in a way that just felt like more pornography lol). but aside from that and some choppy editing in a few places it’s damn near flawless. the way they keep showing the same scenes from different angles multiple times in parts one and two (where our understanding is also different given the new context) is simply peak fucking cinema. the writing especially is so layered and brings everything full circle, and it manages to be incredibly laugh out loud funny at times despite how fucked up it is. really really excellent and well-structured film that knows how to reward the audience... CASE IN POINT THE FINAL LIBRARY SCENE... 🔥🔥always a favorite

[skullhaver]

ten favorite fictional characters

1. Granny Weatherwax, Discworld

Granny Weatherwax is selfish, prideful, generally unpleasant, and the best goddamn witch in her kingdom. And despite her intimate understanding of human foibles, she deeply values human beings. I’m fond of the way Terry uses her to moralize, and the way her arc becomes a story about accepting aging and dying. Child Liv needed a model of non-traditional old womanhood, and Granny Weatherwax was She.

2. Pearl, Steven Universe

When I first heard, “It’s Over, Isn’t It?” something broke in my brain. Here was the yearning. The devotion. The soft butch lady knight I dreamed of. Pearl’s stereotypical mom flaws (fussy, shrill, out-of-touch) would make her one-dimensional or unlikable in a worse show, but the writers love her enough that these traits become part of an endearing greater whole. Her arc from “Do it for her” to “I’ll do it for me!” genuinely brings a tear to my eye. 

(inb4 “watch Utena” yes, I know, I will get to it when I get to it.)

3. Keladry of Mindelan, Protector of the Small Quartet

There are lots of great protagonists from Tamora Pierce’s books. What I like about Kel is that she’s not magical or a Chosen One. She is a girl who’s pretty good at math, and works fucking hard at everything else. Reading stories about Kel training to fight, plus the ways she confronts bullies and makes allies, had a huge impression on me as a kid.

4. Agnes DeWitt/Father Damien, The Last Report on the Miracle at Little No Horse

This book is too beautiful for me to do it justice with a summary, but Agnes/Father Damien is one of the most interesting and thoughtful depictions of a nonbinary character I’ve ever seen, by an author who had no idea that’s what she was writing.

5. Zevran Arainai, Dragon Age: Origins

I love this stupid man. I love his outrageous flirtation. I love his morbid practicality. I love his moments of sticking up for the little guy. I love the slow reveal of his tragic backstory. I love that the hero of my story unexpectedly got to be a gay wizard dating the man hired to assassinate him. But what I really love is how emotionally well-adjusted Zevran feels. By the end of his arc, I felt like he was on a true path toward healing, with a solid foundation of being funny and badass.

6. Father Chains, The Gentleman Bastard Sequence

Of course I like Locke and Jean, but you know who I really like?? A man who is so deeply reverent to the god of thieves that he goes behind the back of his closest friend in order to train a gaggle of orphans into ultra con artists, so they can rob as many rich people as extravagantly as possible. What is Father Chains’ deal, man? Also, the resonant, Shakespearean diction with which Michael Page enunciates lines like, “Suppose I’m willing to spend about three coppers and a bowl of piss for an unlooked-for mystery boy,” probably helps.

7. Antonio Salieri, Amadeus

Amadeus is pretentious, overwrought, and self-indulgent almost to the point of farce. I love it. Some of my favorite movies focus on two highly-motivated characters who have a lot in common, but who nevertheless fucking hate each other. I like The Favourite. I like There Will Be Blood. But a composer who offers God his chastity, if only God will grant him skill at his craft, only to lose again and again to a boorish man-child whom he eventually resolves to murder? Salieri is my favorite mediocrity. 

8. Sook-hee, The Handmaiden

The Handmaiden left some things to be desired in its execution, but Sook-hee’s character concept is honestly amazing. She’s a pickpocket hired as a lady’s maid to encourage said lady, Hideko, to marry Sook-hee’s con artist associate. BUT she and Hideko fall in love instead, kill a creepy pervert, and run away together? Okay wow?? (Uh, spoilers.) Sook-hee is clever, tough, and totally charming.

9. Harrowhark Nonegesimus, The Locked Tomb Trilogy

Since I am only halfway through Harrow the Ninth, this feels a bit premature, but I have simply never read a book series structured quite like this one. And I have never before encountered a character who regards bodies as meaningless and malleable meat, and who has such profound determination to stay alive. Her melodramatic pathos moves me. I love her terrifying drive and devotion. I love her bitter heartbreak and dry humor. I love her ostentatious lesbianism. Harrow is so important.

10. Alabaster, The Broken Earth Trilogy

Okay, let’s review what we’ve learned: Alabaster an ultra-powerful magical dude with a huge ego. He’s gay and has big trauma. He gets into a brief but beautiful poly relationship with his magic protégé and a pirate king. He’s kind of a shitty, difficult person to get along with. He causes the apocalypse because he values human life too highly to let a broken system stay in place. Of course I love this guy.

thanks for the tag, @degenerate-perturbation :) tagging @thereinafter, @miholjskoljeto @sapphirescience, @rainy-bloomingtide, @aubergion, @mocha-writes, @jellydishes, @stylographic-blue-rhapsody, and @bidaubadeadieu

[familiarplace]

my favourite scene in the handmaiden (2016) is when hideko is doing her drawing lessons with the con man guy and he’s drawing these beautiful sketches of sook-hee and then the camera pans to hideko’s paper and it’s just a shitty pencil drawing like kindergarten bad it’s SO FUCKING FUNNY

[kxriandrs]

1-30

wait u want me to do all 30 jsdfhfkf this is gonna take me forever to copy and paste 

1. how long have you known you liked girls?

im not sure hhh I came out when I was 14?? I think but im not sure when I actually realised 

2. talk about the girl who made you realise you liked girls

my primary school best friend Eliza who I am still lowkey in love with!

3. are you in a relationship at the moment?

nope :( ladies if ur out there… hmu

4. do you have a crush at the moment?

maybe?? i’m not really sure hhh

5. describe your crush!

umm I met them on twt and theyre very funny and nice to me uwu

6. do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?

any! I’ve never had a preference about physical appearance

7. do you look/dress more masculine, feminine, or androgynous?

probably more feminine?

8. what’s your gaydar like?

bro… swear to god I’ve never been wrong once. 

9. tall girls or short girls?

I am. tinie so probably tall girls because 90% of them are taller than me anyway

10. intimidating girls or kind girls?

11. hugs or kisses?

kithes :(

12. do you have an ideal ‘type’? what would they be like? 

nope! 

13. what’s your favourite personality trait of yours?

of mine?? I really don’t know… sometimes i’m funny?

14. what’s your favourite personality trait for a girl to have?

just being a nice person fhjfjf 

15. what’s the best thing about liking girls?

everything! girls are so so wonderful 

16. do you have any friends who are wlw?

yes but not at the minute I don’t think because for some reason irl I just attract straight people to be my friend.. someone gay please come and help me 

17. have you ever been to pride? if so, what was your first pride like? 

I haven’t :( I’ve had to work every time I wanted to go 

18. do you like the lesbian flag?

I like the pink and orange one! the just pink one is nice but the creator is uhhhhh 

19. what was your first kiss with a girl like?

we were both very drunk in a public park fhjfhkh 

20. who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?

umm the hot evil lady from kim possible or maybe Ariana grande in victorious

21. what’s your favourite lgbt+ movie?

the handmaiden!

22. who’s your favourite openly wlw celebrity?

lena waithe, sarah Paulson or Janelle monae 

23. do you wear makeup?

yes, but i’m trying to stop wearing as much because the makeup industry is trash

24. who was the first person you came out to (if you have)?

my old friend Emily!

25. has anyone ever come out to you?

quite a lot of people hhhh I can’t name them all I don’t think

26. have you found a community of lgbt+ people? 

online yes, but every single one of the people I hang out w at college are straight… litrally a tragedy luv x

27. do you have any older lgbt+ people you look up to? 

my uncle! he basically got chased out of Ireland by my great grandparents so he fucked off to Thailand and now he owns like 3 gay clubs… legend

28. do you identify with butch/femme labels?

nope

29. who’s your favourite fictional wlw? 

sookhee and hideko from the handmaiden 

30. what experiences are you looking forward to having in the future (kissing a girl, going to pride, etc)?

going to pride! and having a proper long term girlfriend hhhh 

[quotespicture]

https://quoteswithpicture.com/the-handmaiden-2016-movie-review/

The Handmaiden (2016) Movie Review

By Savannah Gisleson (Los Angeles)

  For all the visual opulence in Park Chan-wook’s The Handmaiden, a point is to be made through it.

The full frames mimic that of an oil-painting: soft, warm, sumptuous. However, if the film were to be an old portrait the pink rose petal lips of the protagonists simmer – smiling, letting their secrets barely breach the surface. However, once their quiet simmers boil over, their transgressions and secrets explode through the canvas, slapping the viewer in the face. This is The Handmaiden’s modus operandi. Park winks at the audience, as if to let us in on a secret, to let us know something is coming, that something big is going to happen. And once it comes, nothing is shied away from – everything that was once in the shadows bursts into the light.

There is nothing subtle about Park’s direction in this way. We, as the audience expect something to happen, and then it does. What draws us in is the how, the why, and especially the what. Many say the collective imagination is often more grand or disturbing than what a director could show or portray – I reject this in the case of Park and The Handmaiden.

The plot is a complex one, inspired by Sarah Waters’ 2002 novel, The Fingersmith, a Victorian story in which a handmaiden falls for her mistress. Park and co-writer Chung Seo-kyung take the basis of the story and set it in 1930’s Korea during the Japanese occupation, politicizing the already twisted love story. Two women already from different classes, different countries, and different ethnicities find each other in a Victorian home, each trying to dupe the other.

Lady Hideko, played by a wonderful Kim Min-hee, is the trapped, cynical, and frigid Japanese lady who has been trained by her Uncle Kouzuki (Cho Jin-woong) to read classic erotica to audiences so that he might sell fakes of the books and maintain the fortune of Hideko’s family – alongside a plan to marry his her. This all unravels once “Count” Fujiwara hatches a plan to marry Hideko, inherit her fortune, and then lock her in a madhouse. He enlists a famed pickpockets daughter Sook-Hee (Kim Tae-ri), to push Hideko into his arms so that all works out to plan – which of course it does not.

The Handmaiden involves love, lies, and deception amongst all four of these characters, and is split into three pieces to fully explore all. The audience initially follows Sook-Hee from the slums of Korea to the lavish and foreboding home of Lady Hideko and Kouzuki, coming to understand her developing lust and love her new mistress until the last moment the two see each other. Then we jump back in time for Lady Hideko’s perspective on the romance, learning that things were not what they seemed.

Initially, nothing is what it seems in this film. Appearances are deceiving. We see this most with Lady Hideko – she goes through multiple transformations throughout the film, and yet she changes very little. It is about how she is presented to the audience by Park. First naïve and stupid, then cool and frigid, then evil and conniving, then finally a hero. It is not only the characters and plot that peel backwards, revealing what truly lays underneath, the visuals match this trend.

The deep colors of wood, burgundy, and jade of the home in which the majority of the film takes place in are luscious. Grand oil portraits and cherry blossom trees litter the grounds, interiors and exteriors of the home. The library is full of well-loved valuable books. Expensive tapestries and curtains hang from the walls. The entire home is grand and beautiful – however it is a lie. It acts as a cage, trapping Hideko amongst the finery. The library is a lie – all of the expensive and rare books are fakes. The cherry blossom tree is a lie – it is not a symbol of hope and Hideko’s home of Japan – it is the tree her aunt hung herself from. The cherry blossom is a sign of death and despair. Above all else the gilded cage that Hideko sits in is a disguise – it sits upon a basement that houses the ugliest terrors known to man. The basement is what makes people go mad. This is alluded to from the moment Sook-Hee first arrives at the house. The rolling blackouts that the head maid explain to her are the first indications of evil within the house. The light does not shine there permanently. The evil is not expressed fully until later but Park hints at its presence from the beginning.

It’s Park’s attention to these details that allows a good script to transcend to a poetic masterpiece. There are symbols in every scene, every set, every character – symbols that also double down as hints.

This is not to say that The Handmaiden is all doom and gloom. It is far from it. One of the most striking things about the film is its use of comedy in the darkest moments of the film. In one instance, when Hideko attempts suicide vis-à-vis the same cherry blossom method of her aunt, and Sook-Hee saves her at the last moment, both act very cartoonish. They make funny faces, and even use physical comedy to pretend that Sook-Hee forgot about the fact that Hideko is hanging from her neck, and drops her for a moment. This is true in the more romantic scenes as well – in their first consummation of love, Sook-Hee sees Hideko’s bare nipple and exclaims, “it’s so cute!” in a baby voice. She then goes on to call Hideko’s nether regions “s-s-s-spellbindingly beautiful!” The entire love-making session is explicit and calls to mind the humor in real and true sex, by calling attention to the comedy of it.

Park gives the two women the depth needed to laugh together in the face of monsters, death, and rape.

Not to say that Park sticks solely to reality – he does in regards to his characters, but many elements of the film lay far outside the realistic with no explanation as to why or how. In these moments Park only gives us the what.

Once all comes to light, all bets are off. At no point does the sexual demonstrations that Lady Hideko performs with a wooden dummy seem unlikely. Nor does the sexual act with the bells – the bells of freedom- that the girls perform in the last moments of the film seem far-fetched. When we finally see what lurks at the depths of the basement it comes as a surprise, sure, but we do not doubt Park at this point. The traditional Japanese sexual torture device, that is a giant squid, fits in this world. As do the blue carbon monoxide cigarettes that cause instant death. We buy this heightened and poetic reality, regardless of how dark or fucked up it gets.

And we do not question Park – this director is so self-assured in the worlds and stories he creates that the audience never doubts him.

In The Handmaiden Park weaves together black comedy, melodrama, and fantasy together with sexual sadism, Korean history, and lesbianism to create an intricately textured silk cloth. Lies and truth transcend reality, giving us something else, something grand.

Rating: 5/5

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[heloreeses]

Rules- Tag nine people you want to get to know better I was tagged by @justanotherpupcakelover @greenisnotacreativecolour @deliamount (Yasss finally someone tagged me ilysm ❤️❤️) 

Relationship status? Very very very single. (If fictional characters count; I am currently dating Valerie Dyer and Hideko)

 Lipstick or chapstick? chapstiiickkk 

Last song I listened to? Spring Day by BTS (So much feeeels)

 Last movie I watched? SPY (its funny af)

 Top three characters? 

 1. Valerie Dyer/Delia Busby [CTM] (I can’t choose I’m sorry) 

 2. Lady Izumi Hideko[The Handmaiden] / Gov. Emilia Ardiente[Wildflower]

 3.Oh Ri Jin[Kill Me, Heal Me] / Carol Aird[Carol]

and many mooooore… 

note: I chose dem bcuz the character had so much impact on what I am as a person right now. and because they are hot as fuck.

 Top three ships?

 1. PUPCAAAAAKE!!!![CTM]

2.  YUZU AND MEI[Citrus] && CALZONA||ELIZONA[G.A]

3. Whatever the ship name for professor jin and yeonjoo [Serenade] and Hideko and Sookhee [The Handmaiden]

I Tag: @martian-m @lazyboo @kfloser @n7-valkyrie @shrekthelesbian @elizahamiltonwasahufflepuff @ilovemushystuff @that-nerdy-hufflepuff and everyone else who wants to participate i guess. 

[cicadiabroth]

So many writers and artists make next gen aus and it looks like so much fun but I deadass can’t take myself seriously so like here’s what I got and no I do not take criticism (mainly just random chars and ships but I will take requests)

Son of glimmer and bow (spop)

Gunn the extra n is for coolness. He styles his hair so it’s shaped like a gun because he said Fuck archery and wanted to do something else

Daughter of Kazuichi soda other parent I don’t rlly ship him with anyone tbh (danganrompa 2)

Ichiho souda get it because strawberry soda I think I’m funny ok. She makes go karts because idk I think go karts are the coolest shit ultimate go kart? Idk I thought it would be cool if she like drove the shit her dad makes bc he gets carsick or something

Daughter of Akane and nekomaru(don’t you dare Come in here taking shit about either one of them because I love them both and they deserve to be happy also danganrompa 2)

Renga owari (yes I know it means brick it’s because she is strong like a brick house and it is verry meaningful) she’s the ultimate fitness coach/ weightlifter. She is stronk liek bull because she is super active due to her parents active lifestyle she is also the best friend of ichigo and they race go karts together.

Daughters of Sonia and gundham (I’m sorry souda but theyre just a way better match)(danganrompa2)

Ayanyo and hideko nevermind.ayanyo is really good at sewing and weaving fabric to make incredible designs and beautiful dresses so she’s pretty much ultimate seemstress. Hideko is really interested in foreign affairs and countries learning as many new languages and things as she can and often models for her sister as they are twins and what fits one will probably fit the other. She takes after her fathers love of animals and spends most of her time around birds specifically because they’re her favorite creature.

Son of kiyotaka and mondo (trigger happy havoc)

Motor Bicheal (I’m not sorry) it was taka a dad joke but it’s fine that it’s a dad joke because he’s a dad now. He’s really good at barbaquing or however you spell it he kills it at the grills.hes also really into building things and general cooking so he makes things like electric spatula to flip burgers and crap.

Daughter of Sakura and aoi

Misaki ogami shes verry down toearth and into gardening. She’s super chill and laid back but also takes her mothers interest in competitive swimming and karate but does it more for the art than to win

Ok I’m out of ideas send me charecters to make one of lol