#hi whatcha doin’ meme

[madmanwonder]

Ask

What happens when Ash says this to Serena? Especially with her massive crush on him.

Hi, whatcha doin’? Meme

Serena: *Blunt* You. *Look at Ash with a serene but lecherous smile*

[darnell-la]

perchance..dry humping with logan….pretty please with all the cherries on top

𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗜𝗡 '𝗘𝗠 𝗕𝗔𝗕𝗬

summary: Logan had just became apart of the x men. he’s always been known to flirt with whoever he could, but when y/n came around, he realized she was the only one he wanted to smell like.

warnings: up late, public humping, embarrassed, kissing, submission, dominance, dry orgasm, love confession, etc.

note: we kind of want to write a submissive!logan… tell us what y’all think.

follow our Instagram @ darnell.la so we can start posting random videos, photos, edits, and memes of the people we write about!

———

“Whatcha doin’ down here, bub? It’s like three in the mornin,” Logan made his way into the kitchen. Y/n had jumped from the man’s voice. She wasn’t expecting anyone down here. She wasn’t expecting him down here.

“God — I-I’m just listening to music,” y/n placed her phone down and took her headphones out. She was lying and somehow, Logan knew that. The way she slammed her phone — He couldn’t hold back his smirk.

“Are you sure that’s what you’re up to?” Logan asked as he sat next to y/n with his eyes on her phone. “Yes, I was-“ she tried to lie but she was cut off when Logan snatched her phone.

“Hey!” She yelled and whispered at the man, praying her phone was locked, but it wasn’t. Shit. “Let’s see what we have here,” Logan leaned back in his chair as he clicked the video he assumed she was just watching.

“Why are you watching us train?” Logan asked, already finding whatever she was doing boring. “You’re not even in the video,” he laughed, trying to figure out what it was that she was looking at until he noticed the video was cropped.

It was cropped to show him closer. The man skipped the video and noticed it was almost an hour long of him fighting.

The smirk that grew on his face, raised y/n’s heart rate. She was caught and she had nothing to back her up.

“Now, what made you do this, bub?” Logan slid her phone across the table for her to look at. “If I’m not mistaken, that looks like me — for an hour,” he pointed at himself fight training.

“I-I can't explain,” she said low, so embarrassed that she got caught. How could she get caught? She knew she should’ve stayed in her room.

“I don’t think there’s much to explain, princess. Seems you get off by watching me fight,” Logan was now hunching over, looking at her with his sweet and soft eyes.

She couldn’t look at him. She swore she would pass out if she did.

“You like watching me fight?” Logan asked y/n, a right hand softly touching her thigh. He’s been teasing her ever since he got here. Tonight was the first time he touched her. She was going inside on the inside.

“I know you do, you wanna know why?” He asked, hands getting higher until he stopped under her nightgown. His fingers were grazing her panties. Y/n looked up at the older boy, eyes shy.

“Because I can smell that pretty cunt leak,” his voice was sweet, yet dark. “And you’re always like that. It’s hard walking past you because you’re always so damn wet,” he tease as he rubbed on her clothes heat.

“Logan,” she whispered, not knowing if she wanted him to do this. They’re in the kitchen, so anyone could come down here and see how flustered she is from the way he’s talking and touching her.

“C’mere, bub,” Logan pulled away before patting his lap. Y/n was confused at first, but got the idea and did was she was told. She got up and went to sit, back facing him until he turned her around to sit, facing him.

As soon as she sat down, she felt how hard he was. It felt like actual metal, but she knew a human cock had no bone — So why is he this hard?

“You feel that, princess? Got me like this as soon as I walked in,” he said, making his cock throb through his pajamas. “I-I don’t know if we can do this,” y/n spoke. She’s never been a submissive kind, but he brought it out of her.

“Why not? I’ve liked you ever since I got here. Had to work weeks to make you nervous,” Logan’s hands traveled from her back, down to her ass to grip and pull at.

“We’re in the kitchen, Logan. A-And I don’t think the girls that you talk to will-“ she went to say but he cut her off quickly. “Ah uh — I don’t talk to anyone, bub. They talk to me,” he corrected her.

“I’ve been workin’ hard to impress you. No one else. Who gives a shit if they want me. I don’t want them,” Logan lifted his hand to cup her chin.

“Are you okay with that?” He asked, now using his hand that was on her ass to move her, making her grind on his clothes cock.

The whine that left her mouth, made Logan’s heart skip a beat. She sounds so beautiful.

“C’mon, baby, tell me — Tell me you’re okay with being my pretty girl,” he said, slowly moving his own hips. He kept asking her, wanting her to reply as her mind fogged up.

“O-Okay,” her head fell onto his shoulder. Logan lifted the girl's head back up only to lean in and suck on her neck. He wanted to make sure she knew he was going to claim her.

“Lo,” y/n moaned, now moving her own hips, feeling her cunt throb on him. She was getting hot and her stomach felt funny. Kind of when she masturbated but better.

She’s never grinned at someone, but this felt so good. This felt amazing.

“Always lookin’ so pretty, baby,” Logan said as his hands lifted her nightgown up so he could touch and feel her skin. “T-Thank you,” she stuttered as she looked into the man’s eyes.

Y/n was the first to lean in and taste Logan. He was sweet. He already knew she was sweet, but finding it out for himself was the best feeling.

Y/n’s hips began to speed up as her moans got a bit louder. Logan knew she was near. He couldn’t help but smirk on her lips. She was falling apart right on top of him.

“C-Cumming,” the word was barely heard from the low she was. Her moan was broken as she shook. She’s never had her cunt throb this hard before. She couldn’t stop it.

“Fuck, y/n,” he groaned under his breath as his hips bucked. He swear he wouldn’t cum in his pants. He’s not one of those, but tonight — he was different. Y/n felt wetness grow under him, and she knew it wasn’t her.

She was confused until she looked at the man in front of her. His breathing stuttered, his body twitched and his shaky arm was holding her back into him so she’d be closer to him.

“O-Oh my god, baby — Fuck,” the man caught his breath and calmed down from his high. In his mind, he thought she was emasculated, but when he looked at her needy eyes, he knew she still felt submissive.

“You’re so good, baby,” Logan gave her a peck. “I think I’m in love,” he joked, but they could both tell he wasn’t joking. “I know I am,” y/n said as her hands rested on his shoulders.

Logan felt relief before he smashed his lips on hers, making out with her roughly but softly at the same time. He eventually took her up to his room, not being able to hold back and tell her how he was going to move everything from her room into his.

He didn’t think he wanted her this bad, but after tonight — After she showed how much she liked him back, he needed to keep her around him at all costs. He was in love and she was too.

[tricks-tickles]

OOPS haha definitely wasnt meant to have this done like four days ago but i was #down with the sickness (chest infections4life) anyyyeay done now! here you go @the-gingerbread-lee

and happy very late @squealing-santa !

word count: 997

pairing: Lee!Todoroki /& Ler!Midoriya

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One of Midoriya’s favourite things about living at U.A. was the campus. Not just the state of the art gyms and dorms, but the large expanse of parks and forestry surrounding the main buildings. It was beautiful, in between all the facilities there were parks with soft grass, tall trees and flower beds. It was a favourite study spot for many students, including Midoriya.

He lay on his back, head propped up against his study-buddy’s thighs as he worked through his art homework. The study buddy in question was Todoroki, sitting upright against the tree and resting his book against Midoriya’s head. It was something of a symbiotic relationship.

They were the only ones in the park, given that the grounds were otherwise covered in a foot of snow. Only a small ring of dry grass prevailed around the tree where they sat, kept warm by Todoroki’s quirk.

Midoriya shifted, adding a little more shading to the drawing, causing Todoroki’s textbook to fall to the ground.

“Sit still.” He grumbled, picking it up.

“Meh meme me meh.” Midoriya grumbled back playfully. He waited a second, then twitched again, sending the textbook tumbling into the grass.

Todoroki glared as Midoriya beamed up at him.

He picked the textbook up and lightly hit Midoriya on the head with it, then set it back down.

Midoriya glanced back at his work. It was nearly finished, and he had a while before needing to hand it in. Moreso, the prospect of messing with the usual stoic boy was quite appealing. He and Todoroki had been getting closer, and with that came a surprising discovery that Todoroki could be quite playful. The two had spent countless hours rolling around on the floor, on the bed, the dorm’s sofa, the list goes on. Midoriya cast another glance at his work, then grinned.

Now on a mission, he counted to 60… then twitched.

“Midoriya!” Todoroki snapped, “Stop annoying me, I’m almost done.”

“But you’re so fun to pester~.” Midoriya cooed back.

Then his head fell back and lightly hit the ground as Todoroki shuffled away, smirking slightly.

“Aww come on Shoto~, don’t be like that.” Midoriya said, but was unable to keep the grin off his face.

“I am like that.” Todoroki responded, staring at his math homework.

To most, Todoroki would look slightly stern and annoyed. But to eagle eyed viewers such as Midoriya, his ears were slightly red, his eyes were unfocused and his fingers were drumming on the page. He was waiting in anticipation.

Quietly, Midoriya sat up and kneeled next to him, pressing his face into Todoroki’s.

“Whatcha doin’?” He asked.

“Concentrating, now will you pleas- ACK! Midoriya!”

“Todoroki,” Midoriya smiled, pulling his hand away from his ribs, “What’s wrong?”

Todoroki glared but said nothing, moving to stare back at his work.

Midoriya poked him again.

He twitched.

Another poke.

Another twitch.

“Are you ignoring me?”

Another poke.

“I aham- I am not.”

…

Midoriya attacked, wriggling his fingers into Todoroki’s ribs as he suddenly jolted, dropping his book. Quickly as he could, Todoroki stumbled to his feet, backing away into the cold snow.

“Midoriya, what about our work- Midoriya, please.” He begged. It was strange to see him so emotive, but whenever they engaged in fights like these it brought out an unseen childish side of him, something that Midoriya adored.

“I’m gonna getcha~.” He teased, advancing with wiggling fingers.

Todoroki took off, running through the snow and carving a smooth path through the field. Midoriya raced after him. He almost tripped on a hidden rock and stumbled, and Todoroki grew further away. He ran faster, and debated using Full Cowl to bring him up to speed when Todoroki began to turn slightly, allowing Midoriya to put on a final burst of speed and pounce.

Todoroki yelled out in shock, falling into the cold snow, which quickly melted under him. He was hot all over, from his quirk, the burst of exercise and general embarrassment at their situation.

“Gotcha.” Midoriya grinned, using Blackwhip to (unfairly) pin his arms to his sides.

Todoroki huffed, wiggling a little to no avail.

“Very classy.” He said, deadpan.

Midoriya just smiled, bringing his hands up to tap along Todoroki’s ribs. He twitched a little, but the hoodie he was wearing protected him, a little. Countering this, Midoriya’s hands crept down, further and further until they reached the edge of his jumper, then they darted under, his fingers scratching at the thin t-shirt that covered Todoroki’s stomach.

He yelped, not expecting the sudden assault and began squirming in earnest.

“Mihihidorihiyaha!” He cried, writhing, “We’re ihin puhublihic!”

Midoriya lifted his head and looked from side to side, letting his hands drift to Todoroki’s sides.

“I don’t see anyone. Besides, your laugh is so cute! I think everyone deserves to hear it, you should definitely laugh more.”

“SHUHUHUT THEHE FUHUHUHUK UHUP!” Todoroki screamed, his back arching as Midoriya grasped at his sides.

“Wow, such harsh words. You wound me, Todoroki.”

“IHIHIT JUST TIHIHIHCKLEHES, PLEHEHEAHASE!”

“Fine, fine~, I won't pester you much longer.”

He grinned.

“But first,” Using Blackwhip, he brought Todoroki’s hands up beside his head, smiling wider when they trembled for him to put them down.

“You can always tell me to stop~.” He cooed.

Todoroki looked at him, eyes bright, face flushed and a wobbly smile on his lips, and looked away.

“Well, if you say so.” With that, he dove his hands into Todoroki’s underarms, scratching lightly and watching as Todoroki howled with laughter beneath him.

As he did, soft flakes of snow began to fall from the sky and land around them.

With Todoroki’s melodic laughter, the heat from his body washing away the cold and the beautiful snow, it couldn’t have been a better day.

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

The kids and Batmom! on social media?

"Hey Y/N?" Steph asked from behind her phone, filming you as you put jars into the dishwasher to get them ready for canning, "Whatcha doin'?"

"My best," you sigh, wiping sweat off your forehead.

And Bruce's lips twitched, just slightly. He's been watching the kids' videos of you. Watching the way they captured your humor and your love. Everything from reacting to their report cards to cheerfully threatening to force feed them cookies. You adored them and they adored you.

"That guy hasn't seen a vagina since he came out of one," Babs observed.

"Pretty sure he was removed. Like a Tumor." And then the camera zoomed in on your face. The disgust and the nose crinkle that had become a meme.

And he chuckled. For all that he couldn't get you to give an interview, if the kids stuck a camera in your face you'd answer. And it was the only online presence you had. But now? He was glad he had this. The catalog of all these little moments. Little memories.

"Father?"

Bruce looked up from the laptop and smiled a little, "What is it, Damian?"

"Has there been any word?"

"Dr. Tompkins has her stabilized," he said softly. "She's not quite out of the woods but-"

"What are you watching?" he asked when he heard your voice. The Screaming about something silly that you did to break the tension in a room.

"Just... videoes people took. Little clips."

"Father I- I didn't mean to-"

"Damian, it's not your fault," Bruce said, standing slowly to walk around the desk. He knelt down and squeezed his shoulder, meeting his eyes, "Cavalry knew the risks. She's always known. And I know that if she had to make the choice again she'd do the same thing."

"But why?" Damian asked, feeling stupid. "She should hate me."

"She doesn't hate you Damian," Bruce said, stroking his hair. "She never did- it's just... it's complicated. But she doesn't hate you."

"I don't want her to die," Damian said, his voice soft.

"I don't think she's done with us yet, Damian," Bruce said, kissing the top of his head. "We just have to hold on."

[moon-is-a-cryptid]

Imagine you buy the boys Animal Crossing for the switch

Pictures of mentioned villagers included

✨staring🌟 Katsuki🌟kirishima🌟shinsou🌟shoto🌟

Bakugou

•you’re gonna look me in the eye and tell me this man willingly played this game? LIES.

• you forced him to play by saying you could make a better island than him. he got invested so he could beat you

• would fully bully off villagers that didn’t match his aesthetic

•probably has beef with Tom nook

• would keep one special villager that make him think of you 🖤

•cranky villagers. Nuff said.

•Feel like roscoe and Octavian would fit on his island

•invites you to visit his island and vice versa to see who’s is better (he really just wants to play video games with you)

• “why the hell are you yelling at 2 in the morning!?”

•”this goddamn raccoon wants me to pay 98,000 bells! What the hell!?”

kirishima

•golden boy who would immediately start playing

•has the most chaotic island lay out, no rhyme whatsoever

• god help his island when he unlocks landscaping

• would love each and every villager

• would move the villager who reminds him of you to live next to him

•jock villagers + Joey I love Joey sm

•Biff would be his favorite

•” whatcha doin Eij?”

•”building a gym and bug area for my villagers, I was gonna do a gym but I need a place for Joey too!”

Shinsou

•would accept it only to play when he was bored and couldn’t sleep so always

• bully off non cat villagers

•would be in search for Ankha totally for the memes of course no other reason

•plays at the most random times so usually Nooks craney isn’t even open

•if not cat villagers, make them Emo 🖤

•cherry and muffy are his favorites

•would bully the villager that reminds him of you but always convinces them not to leave

•probably also has beef with Tom nook

•”Toshi I’m demanding you come to bed”

•”not until I bully this raccoon off for putting me in debt”

Shoto

• has to have you help walk him through the game

• Baby boy would be so confused on why he is in debt to a raccoon

•I think he’d take kindly to normal villagers

• fauna and Ione are his faves 🫶🏻

• would get sad when villagers think about leaving

• slowly falling in love with the game

• “sho? Why are you still up”

•” fauna was upset and wanted to leave so I’ve been making her gifts”

[meowmeowchapel]

the west wing, 20 hours in america, sentence starter meme.

You know the story about the guy whose cars gets stuck in a muddy hole. A farmer comes along and says he'll pull the car out of the mud but he's going to have to charge 50 bucks 'cause this is the tenth time he's had to pull it out of the mud today. The driver says, "God, when to you have time to plow your land, at night?" The farmer says, "No, no. Nighttimeis when I fill the whole with water."

Why aren't you there?

It's tough to explain.

[name] has trouble concealing his displeasure.

Stepped on it.

You seem pissed that I brought it up.

When somebody can give me an answer to that question, I'll let you know.

I am lightened up. This is me lightened up. You're saying lighter?

You want to lighten up a little?

Speaking of health and fitness...

I had half a grapefruit.

You think I'm lying?

You've been up the past two nights and I don't want a zombie.

Go to sleep.

I'm kidding. that was a joke. I kid because I love.

No kidding, it feels good out here.

You sure i'm not taking you away from something you need to be doing?

You have a second job?

This is fun. We're roughing it.

Remember some of that stuff I said, okay?

Yeah. Doesn't sound quite right, though, does it?

Just out of curiosity, what do you think would happen?

I'm not very easily impressed.

Yeah, you know what? Sue me.

It's a-a common mistake.

How did...? I don't understand.

What is this, a joke?!

Okay, this is a whole new thing now. My guys are going to need to walk this off a bit before they can regroup.

No, I'm sorry buddy. I know you're supposed to be sleeping today.

I don't know what it is you do in there.

Welcome to the club, partner. We got jackets.

You ever love so much it hurts? Like, physically hurts?

It's not intellect, it's memory. It's a different gift. A wonderful one. I've never had it.

I make fun of the French as much as anybody and I don't even know what that meant.

Elitist, feminist-- you can't do that to the English language.

Several of the men I've dated haven't yet gotten over their fear of frogs.

Option one is we make a joke out of it.

We make a joke out of it? What would we have to do to it to make...?

What's your specialty?

No, I mean I can't believe you're considering doing it.

I didn't know you were superstitious.

How long have we been talking about this now?

Okay, let's not tell anybody that.

Whatcha' doin' on the floor?

I'm sitting here listening, already I've turned to a life of crime.

And they're using Act V scene from Hamlet? Are these Batman villians?

300 IQ points between them-- they can't find their way home.

I swear to God, if [name] wasn't there, they'd have to buy a house.

I don't know. I'm a puzzle.

We'd rather people didn't exercise common sense but I agree with what you're saying.

You know I can hear you, right?

I'm in your corner.

You call me a liar to my face?

Well, I'm afraid we're at a classic impasse, [name].

You were strange the first time I met you, and you're strange now.

Hey, the first time you met me there was a good reason.

My powers of deduction are not to be mocked.

That come with tights and a cap?

I'm going to figure it out anyway. What I lack in memory, I more than make up for with exceptional powers of deductive reasoning.

By the way, my powers of ordering are a joke.

Ah, you pulled the switcheroo.

You are so heartbreakingly easy at the end of the day.

You deceived me.

You played upon my love for you.

I'm going to make fun of you while you do, okay?

Did you have other plans?

As a matter of fact, I did. I was planning a quiet night...

If you ask me, it's soft porn. No one needs to massage garlic oil into a leg of lamb that much, on top of which...

You know anything about chaos theory?

Let me get you home. I don't think you're going to make it.

Good writers borrow from other writers. Great writers steal from them outright.

[mindsmade]

[KISS] vince & so mi 🤭💞

meme

He's their designated mechanic, all too eager to dive under the hood to help along a troubled engine, or to lift the CHOOH2 tank off a motorcycle to replace any hard-to-reach parts — like the pesky spark plugs on the old ( really old ), retrofitted Hornets.

Today, he decided to prep their escape car for the agony they'd put it through a few days from now. Now, some hours later ( with the sun beaming down onto the engine and therefore his bare torso ), he emerges contentedly — and slightly warmed, at that.

He tries to keep his eyes pinned to his handiwork, but it's no secret that his attention will always gravitate towards So Mi when she's near. This moment is no exception; she needs only push herself off the rim of the engine bay for his focus to shift instantly. No matter how hard he tries to appear stoic, to keep some semblance of distance in the face of his fixation on her, he can't.

He wonders if she even minds. Could she, when she herself chooses to approach him?

He'd reach for her if not for his oil-stained hands. Instead, he goes for the rag to wipe his hands on — not hugely effective, but it'll do.

❛  She'll be ready for the job before the end of the day.  ❜

Despite his intention to pace himself, to never do what he assumes might be overwhelming or otherwise unwelcome, he can't help it when she enters his personal space as she does. Behind him she stands, that much he's aware of — and when her hands touch his shoulders, he realises just how close she is.

And although he can resist the urge to turn around and face her ( albeit barely ), the compulsion to lean in towards her proves too great. His weight shifts towards his heels as a consequence, tipping his body ever so slightly towards her. He trusts her to keep him steady — and she does, in every possible sense of the word, at that.

As her hands coast down to his elbows, he feels her thumbs brushing against his ribcage. He's not sure if it's the ensuing tickle that has him tense up, or the breath fanning between his shoulder blades. Either way, he erupts into an abrupt, shaking chuckle, breaking the silence for that short moment.

He hardly manages to look over his shoulder, try as he might.

❛  Hey — whatcha doin' there?  ❜

Before he can finish speaking, an arm then slinks around his middle. Vince being Vince, he instinctively clasps his left – slightly less greased up – hand around it, holding it in place against his midriff. ( He likes being held ... even if he's slightly tacky with sweat. Sorry, So Mi. )

He feels her breath grow hotter then, warmer even than the sun had rendered his skin there. The heat's nearing his spine — until her lips touch him there, brushing so gently that a trail of goosebumps branches out from that point of contact.

His grasp on her arm tightens by a hair. More, please.

Another ensues, right on cue; firmer and a little closer to his neck than before. How could he not let an appreciative hum slip out?

❛  Mm — one more of those, and I won't be finishing the job today. I'll have my hands full with you.  ❜

[borathae]

“Cause I talked all big balls at the garage and now I’m nervous. I’m big mouthed, nothin’ more.”

SHUT UP I CACKLED

He throws his legs on your lap, relaxing with a loud sigh. He grunts and then hums in content as he rubs his own tummy.

“Pff”, you scoff, “you and your dad noises all the time.”

Taehyung peels his left eye open, “those ain’t dad noises. They’re uncle noises.”

NO WONDER MY FRIENDS CALL ME DAD OR GRANDPA

“Mhm honey, you’re so hot”, he rasps that was so cowboy of him

he would actually die of blue balls during the date. my head is now a tv channel

the headlines in eng is making me baomn and the one in my mother tongue IS EXTRA HILARIOUS

You slam your hands onto his round buttocks, forcing him to yelp it surprise.

“Babe”, he gasps, widening his eyes, “whatcha doin'?” FUCK HE YELPED AAAH

Taehyung has the sexiest ass in the universe. FACTS LIES UNDETECTED *insert gyatt meme, booty so big damn lord have mercy *twerks like a stick figure

“I think my heart's gon' give up.” BREAKING NEWS guy dies during foreplay cuz it was too hot. honestly died like a champ

“Don’t look there”, he whines when he realises that you are gazing at his ass. pls he is a cute lil pookie

OMG ITS GETTING TOO HOT YALL PHEW

u can never be prepared enough for your smut its like those twitter army meme

HIT ME WITH THE COMEBACK IM READY

OH MY GOD I WASNT READY WTF AAAH

“What are you doin' to me?” he somehow manages to produce ME TO YOU

HOLY FUCK MA MANZ RUINED OOF *shivers

OH MY GOD I HAVE TO GO SHOPPING?? NOW??? AAAH IDK WHAT TO DO AAH

5 ORGASMS?? AAAH

anyways the meal was delicious, gob smacking(im not british but i had to say it) as always mommy

omgmg I love this review ehheheheh ✊🏻😔💜

“Mhm honey, you’re so hot”, he rasps that was so cowboy of him

we love a cowboy in this household ✊🏻😔

he would actually die of blue balls during the date. my head is now a tv channel the headlines in eng is making me baomn and the one in my mother tongue IS EXTRA HILARIOUS

KFADJ imagine if he actually did like bOY was HORNY hahahha

Taehyung has the sexiest ass in the universe. FACTS LIES UNDETECTED *insert gyatt meme, booty so big damn lord have mercy *twerks like a stick figure

TAE'S ASS IS GENUINELY TOO HOT TO HANDLE LIKE *buries face in it*

“I think my heart's gon' give up.” BREAKING NEWS guy dies during foreplay cuz it was too hot. honestly died like a champ

I repeat. boY WAS HORNYYYYYY

OMG ITS GETTING TOO HOT YALL PHEW u can never be prepared enough for your smut its like those twitter army meme HIT ME WITH THE COMEBACK IM READY OH MY GOD I WASNT READY WTF AAAH

FJAJDFJ I'm happy you're enjoying my smut so much bahahaha

“What are you doin' to me?” he somehow manages to produce ME TO YOU

👁👅👁 hehe

5 ORGASMS?? AAAH

WE LOVE A MAN THAT PERFORMS!!!!!

anyways the meal was delicious, gob smacking(im not british but i had to say it) as always mommy

OMFG HAHAHHAHAHAHH PLEASE omfg please rate my smut as "gob smacking as always mommy" from now on BAHAHAHAH this is a 1000/10 compliment bahhahah (also why do i lowkey wanna write aaol!kook going "gobsmacking as always mommy" after she railed the shit outta him?? like helloo?? hahahah)

[amazingmsme]

(Telemachus Anon)

So here's my oc hope yall like him djsdnks and this is really long and I got carried away

Plutarch

-He's an apprentice woodcarver and blacksmith before he joined the war. He joined the war out compliance to forge weapons for his comrades, although he never really liked forging weapons in the first place. He was never one for violence afterall.

-If you'd compare him with the other's height he'd be on the average side. But he's damn strong from all the hard work in forging so he has a stocky build.

-He's probably the most quiet in Ody's crew. Not because of his nonchalnce, but because he really REALLY has a bad case of social anxiety and a side of low self-esteem. It's like that one meme in the Meet the Robinsons:

Elpenor: Hey Plutarch how you doin? 😀

Polites: Want me to help with the rope, Plutarch? 😁

Plutarch internally: *They all hated me* 😮‍💨

-He doesn't get involved yet with the crew's chaos and would just be in the corner minding his own business. It gets overwhelming for him when he's talking to many people.

-Of course Polites sees everything and has to intervene so that Plutarch doesn't get left out.

Polites: Hey brother *he puts his arm around Plutarch*

Plutarch: *oh gods the captain's best bro is here. Did i do something wrong? Am i gonna get thrown out of the ship? He's probably gonna talk about how im not pulling my weight as the other crew does.* h-hey

Polites: Whatcha got there?

Plutarch: Oh uh nothing. It's just to pass the time. Um carving *i know this is the worst piece i ever did. I should probably throw this overboard? No wait im just wasting wood. Oh gods i wasted wood* (He was carving a small toy bear)

Polites: aw that looks cute!

Plutarch: *wait what? No he's probably lying just to make me feel better. Im a failure* ...eh it's nothing really.

-Elpenor follows suit in annoying making Plutarch open up a bit.

Elpenor: Sooooooo can you make something for me? 😀

Plutarch: *sighs* for the last time I'm not making a mini statue of you

Elpenor: Oh come on! I have the physique of a man of honor *flexes his body*

Eurylochus: Yeah "man of honor" *gives Elpenor a poke*

Elpenor: Ah!!

-When it comes to his relationship with Odysseus, at first he would be very scared of him. But would later found how very playful the captain really is (and how damn ticklish he is). Odysseus would definitely ask for Plutarch to carve some toys for Telemachus.

-Now for the tickle hcs for him *inhales and exhales*. At first you'd think he's not ticklish. Elpenor tried to sneak in some pokes on his sides, back, neck, like pretty much everywhere, only to be returned with a deadpan stare. Though one night Polites tried to wake Plutarch up for his shift. He scratched his sole then *BAM* he got kicked in the face. Imagine the glee Polites had when he found out that Plutarch was ticklish at his feet and the horror on Plutarch. The entire crew won't let that information go easily. Ever since that little incident, he would sleep with his knees close to his chest and blankets covering it.

Eurylochus: Plutarch, the captain is looking for you.

*Plutarch goes to Odysseus' quarters*

Plutarch: Yes, captain?

Odysseus: Plutarch, Plutarch, Plutarch, why did you not tell us that you were ticklish? Hm?

Plutarch: *blushes* I honestly didn't know that I'm ticklish...sir. (and i will let your imagination fly with what happened)

-Now that he opened up, Plutarch would be tasked to hold the poor victim down the the crew wanted to torment

-Obviously he would be very devastated with Polites' death and would close himself off again. He would definitely carve out some figurines that looked like Polites (and future dead crewmates. Yes im talking to you Elpenor)

-His death would be around Eurylochus' mutiny. He never sided on anybody at that point. He just wanted everyone to get along.

MDVEKEBFKF I LOVE HIM SO MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA!! He sounds so cute & sweet, & also so cool! A blacksmith who hates violence? HELL YEAH! & I absolutely love wood carvings, they’re beautiful & there’s so much craftsmanship that goes into it & the whole process seems very therapeutic, so he sounds like a nice, chill dude

I can picture him perfectly, he’s got them broad shoulders & thick arms & thighs from all that hard labor. I love seeing or imagining in this case different body types in character line ups! Gotta have some height & body size variation!

He literally sounds so cute I just wanna hug him! Asterios would totally get along with him, they can be quiet moody buddies together lol. Fr tho, that’s so relatable. Especially when you’re around that many people constantly every single day, it would feel so overwhelming & it would be so easy to get paranoid that people don’t really like you & are just pretending. Poor thing just needs some reassurance! But yeah I fuckin’ love that meme, it’s a classic

Aww he’s just gotta warm up to everyone! I’m sure he’ll join the shenanigans when he’s ready! Til then, he’s just gonna enjoy the show

But Polites is so damn sweet! He doesn’t want anyone to feel left out. & as soon as he noticed he has a hobby, he’s gonna be interested! It’s a way for him to get to know him & give Plutarch a chance to open up while also complimenting his talent! His interactions with all the crew are so cute & wholesome!

Mcshlsdbdl I fuckin’ LOVE when someone doesn’t think they’re ticklish & are so sure of this fact only to have their worldview rocked lmao. Poor thing has such a big storm comin’ his way!

But Odysseus is such a little shit, he would drag it out to make Plutarch nervous & think he’s in trouble & then it’s literally just “why didn’t you tell us you’re ticklish?” Talk about whiplash!

Plutarch never catches a break after that fr. He constantly gets drug into the fray because he’s strong enough to keep people pinned, but even that warrants revenge

Omggg my heart!! That’s so sad but really sweet how he honors their memory with little carvings. I’m totally not gonna cry what are you talking about?

He survives a long time!! But sadly, he’s doomed by the narrative just like everyone else😭 poor baby just wanted everyone to get along!

[ronmanmob]

"How's your first kiss with Teddy?"

First Kiss Meme

"--It didn't jus' 'appen, yeah?"

Ron was lying already, affecting airs that implied he was retelling some grand escapade of his when really he was fibbing out his ass. It didn't look it though, if you only went smirk-deep. Ron gestured as he spoke, embellishing the horrifically tall tale as he told it.

"Knew I wanted 'im f'weeks b'fore-"

Now that bit was true.

"-so I caught 'im alone in th'workyard'a th'Tradah aftah 'ours. 'Ee smoked aht there offen, waitin' f'us t'close up. So I went aht there 'n I took th'fag aht 'is mouf-- Man looked at me all, whatcha doin' Ron?, 'n I took 'is 'ead in bowf me 'ands, cupped it, yeah? Like y'do wiv a lovah. 'N I kissed 'im full on th'lips once 'ee'd breaved aht 'is smoke."

All'a that too...That was true. But that weren't the first time Ron and Ted had kissed. The first-first, proper first, happened days before the high romance of this encounter. He'd been in his office in his pub, had Ron. Working through the day's take. In Ted had come like he always did, and he did precisely what he really shouldn't have - not that he knew the do's and don'ts with Ron's head at that point - and cupped it in both hands as he leant and kissed Ron full on the mouth.

Or at least he'd tried to.

Stunned stillness only lasted a second or two before Ron had yanked back with such force he clonked the back of his head off a low shelf. Hurled into a snarling rage by it all he'd had Ted out on his ear; hadn't thought he'd see him again and hadn't, 'til he found him in the work yard that time he'd told his tale about.

Not quite so...romantic a re-telling that, aye?

[e-m-p-error]

♡ Kissing the corner of their eyes. And to just spice things up Angel brings Val a gift (Can be whatever you wish) - Acts of Affection meme

Acts of Affection

[ Valentino ]

The kisses to the corners of his eyes surprise Valentino into opening them. In the low light of his office at the club, he had removed his glasses to rest his eyes. Pounding music and a hangover he was already nursing had only made his head pound more, and he'd been feeling fairly sick that evening.

So sick that he hadn't even noticed Angel Dust come in.

With the spider leaning over him on the white couch in his office, he blinked up at him before leaning up to kiss the corner of his mouth. It was soft, a gentle peck that Valentino wasn't known for, and he let his head fall limp back onto the arm of the couch. His upper left hand came up to cover his eyes, and he gave a little groan.

"Whatcha doin' here, Ange? Ain'tcha workin' tonight?" He asked with a gentle groan, "Ugh, I feel like shit." This came out on a sigh as he reached for the glass coffee table beside the couch. Grabbing his cigarette case and bringing it to his chest, he set it down as he felt something else settle on his stmach.

"Angel Cakes?" Eyes slamming open, he looked down at the long, slim crushed velvet box now resting just below his diaphragm. Oh!! Oh!! A jewelry box!!

Rushing to grab and open it, he gasped loudly in shock and awe at the necklace inside.

Settled at the end of a long, slim gold chain occasionally lined with a pink diamond or red ruby was a pair of intertwined golden hearts. The outsides of them were encrusted with more pink diamonds, and on the inside were perfectly shaped rubies glinting in the neon lights. His heart skipped a beat and he sat up on his elbows to look at his lover with wide, expectant eyes.

"I love it." He stated simply, suddenly feeling better in ways he couldn't describe. Receiving expensive gifts always made him happier, and made him feel more alive despite being dead.

[madmanwonder]

(Ask, Original AU, Crossover AU) Yang saying those dreaded words to Gohan...within earshot of Chi-Chi? ("Hi, whatcha doin'?")

Yang: *Smirking* Hi Gohan, whatcha doin’~?

Gohan: *Deadpan* Are you deliberately trying to make my mom angry with you? Because you are successful at it.

Chi-Chi:

[canine-teethed-sheets]

If you wanted to talk more about the shepherd!Cross/Wolf!Killer AU I would be sooooooo curious 👀

oh sure!! i got some plot on how the two met :D

shepherd is a cross with a tendency of a bloodlust rush and with the help of his nifty little stick staff, he can lure people into spooookkkyyyy places to just kill them and torture, lovingly calls them sheep to the slaughter, if you will. he does keep some servants around like "bodyguards" per se, tryna look "normal" and shit but yk he does still kill them so NOW

we get to how he met wolf :]

one day, while he was going to check at his sheep, he sees a figure hunched down in a party of dead bodies, said figure turned, revealing a skelemonster in wolf's clothing! :D mad that his kill was stolen, he decides to deal with the problem himself and shakes his little wand, bells chiming and lights alluring to any naked eyes

but then

wolf: yoo....... whatcha doin with that stick lmao? i may be close to a doggie but i ain't gonna woof like one.

shepherd:

shepherd: huh

yeaahh turns out tryna put a wolf into trance with sheep magic ain't exactly working ( /j /j ) so shepherd just. stood there surprised like that one tails gets trolled meme while wolf goes " WELP if ya ain't offerin yerself as prey then i'll leave ya off the hook fer now " and shepherd thinks " ... but what if i DO wanna share tho " so he offers wolf in exchange of him joining side by side with wolf getting his own share of food (victims) and wolf's all " YOO FR?? HMU BABYBOY "

and so we have the shepherd and wolf duo :3

[zhongrin]

Iddjbdkekbs plssss no need to dodbsksbs (hehe, I know <33)

True that!! He is a combination of both!! <33

Ikr?? So so cute!! (He surely marks you up everytime he is drunk - so be prepared hehe~)

He will giggle and he will cup your face by your cheeks and kiss your face all over while he coos cute praises

Djiddbjsksksk YES. TOTALLY. like one second he could be "I love you s'much, angel~ let's get married soon~" ("Bai, we already are married.") And other second he is "did you know that *insert random fact about anything here with a logical explanation*"

Rin I would even carry him if I wouldn't be so weak dkshsbjsskks

WAIT I DO NEED WHAT???? *faints again*

..... Rin.

You can't tell me you only wanted to draw him blushing. He is shirtless. And and.. I get the feeling something is going on down there (real footage of you giving him head, can't tell me otherwise)

🤨📸

Hehe~ I will I will, don't worry~ <33

.. Rin whatcha doin with this clipboard?

IKR?? FKDHSJKSJNN ITS SO CUTE LIKE SJSHSJIS STAN MEITHAM AND ZHONGRIN!! 💞💞

Hdkidbssiisb omg I am sobbing;; teapot and special bookmark;; do they have any details like

What's on the teapot and on the bookmark? 💞 A special design? A quote? Anything? ❤️

Ikr ikr and his hair is so LONG. but Baizhu is patient with me and always chuckles a bit about my (failed) attempts at the beginning

Hair oil? I don't use, and I don't think Baizhu does either.. his hair seems like the ✨naturally perfect✨type to me (like himself.)

And yes he does, often when we cuddle and I lay my head on his chest he begins to play with my hair (or when I give him head PLS IM SORRY.)

So yea <33

What about you and your husband's? Do they play with your hair and do you play with theirs? ❤️

Lmao it's finee 😭💞

Oh Zhongli would totally do that, brewing coffee for his adorable wifey anytime she needs it <33 he really is more the tea type LMAO. Consider you drinking coffee and Zhongli drinking tea while talking about everything 💞💞 and yes. He would scold you and make you sleep in.. special ways. <3

Oh em gee, imagine you wake up and the first thing you see ins Alhaitham shirtless - working out - his abs and muscles shining in the sunrise. ❤️ PLS THAT'S SO CUTE FOR SOME REASON, him reading and you curling aaaaa kdbdisoks

Baivi hmm

Who wakes up first? Quite a hard question because both Baizhu and me are quite early birds.. so I would say - it's changing quite often, hehe <3 (pls Baizhu is either an early bird or an insomniac or both somehow)

When Baizhu first wakes up, I am sure he first looks at me and admires a bit (pls imagine just the both of us simping for the other one so much, but Baizhu being more subtle with it) before he gets up to cook breakfast

When he has to wake me up - he would do it by planting many kisses all over my face while repeatedly saying my name or some nicknames <33

Baizhu is responsible for breakfast. Pls I can't cook for shit and I would rather eat a bitter breakfast than having the kitchen burnt down. Lmao.

Now same questions to you!! <33❤️

ofc you need that daily dose of baizhu every day 24/7 vi what are you saying (i am weak in the knees pls)

he can mark me all he wants <3 and i'll gladly show it off if he wanna <3 ;))

hsldjfklsjdf brb crying that's. that's so cute al haitham giggling oml what's genshin equivalent of a video recorder i need it NOW-

plssss you taking care of your drunk hubby 😭 omg you know the qiqi carrying xiao meme. is. is that you trying to carry drunk passed out baizhu back home helpjsdklfjksldjf

MOUTH TO MOUTH RESUSCITATION (WITH TONGUE) VI DON'T YOU WORRY WE'LL SAVE YOU BAIZHU WILL SAVE YOU

real footage of you giving him head, can't tell me otherwise

................ maybe? /shot

WHATS WITH THE CAMERA VI-

hmmmmm? just uh. scientific notes. dw about it ☺️

AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT STAN BAIVI!!!! 💞

zhongli's teapot has a dragon pattern painted onto it and the teapot cover + cups have a lil 3d dragon on the bottom. kinda like these:

and haitham's bookmark is something made of metal, kinda like this:

except it's a hawk and at the end of the little chain is a green coloured tassel hehe

hbu what kind of presents have you given baizhu and/or baizhu has given you? :D

oh that's adorable and oh yes he would gently play with your hair while you give him head to let you know you're doing so well, hoping you'll take it just a little bit deeper-

with zhongli, YES. he has his own hair oil concoction and makes it his duty to help me with it + with drying my hair after i get out from the shower. he loves seeing it all silky and now i smell like him so it's a bonus <3 and i love being pampered so it's a win-win situation <3 <3 <3 i can't braid neatly to save my life but whenever i do it he'll always keep the braid on until it's bedtime or if it becomes too loose (in which case he'd untie it with a slightly saddened look). your honour i love him sm

with al haitham..... ok look idk why but he gives me the '1 soap for everything' vibe. you think he'd care about hair oil? i'll have to be the one who takes care of his hair hsldjfklsjldf but he does play with mine every now and then, subconsciously. 12/10 would pull on them when i give him head-

He would scold you and make you sleep in.. special ways. <3

which is why i do it all the time i mea n what-

that's. that's an instant libido spike. welp guess we both starting off the day by exercising ;)) /bonked

omg you morning risers heathens /j

i'm melting from the thought of baizhu just staring at you lovingly while you're sleeping. man probably whispers stuff like "you're so beautiful, my flower." / "such a cute smile... i hope you're dreaming of me..." to you omggggggg

who wakes up first? definitely zhongli. man doesn't really need sleep so yeah. he's the one cooking breakfast because i too cannot cook without risking burning the kitchen down (i probably tried to do that one time to surprise him and zhongli almost got a heart attack when he peeked into the kitchen like "my dearest wife, please, rest your weary hands, i can handle this-" *tries to subtly take the spatula from my hands*). he's my personal alarm clock, and he'd wake me up with kithes <3

now al haitham.... on work days, he's diligent. his body clock is trained to wake up early in the morning to work out and cook and do stuff. but on weekends? don't expect us to get out of the bed before noon please and thank you <3 we're gonna be either 1) asleep, or 2) cuddling on bed lazily. i mean come on, it's the weekend. life's meant to be enjoyed ok slkdfjlksdjf this man wakes me up by either 1) shaking me (rude), 2) pulling off my blanket (very rude), or 3) picking me up and carrying me to bathroom so i can wash my face (i hate him /lie)

[moonglittering]

✨ ❝downpour❞ 🌙 conrad & vi.

✨ @75bpm​ asked 🌙 “Well look what the cat dragged in.” meme. still accepting! ft. ❝coquette.❞ by ooi.

Virote stood and looked out at the rain-swept road, right outside of a small jewelry boutique. A stream of traffic went up the street, about half a mile, at a near standstill due to a semi-minor crash into a telephone pole. The raindrops drummed against his umbrella, so forcefully he was sure they almost ripped through the material—the cold was bitter and he didn't feel like walking several blocks to his car. The bookstore a couple of doors down would have to do until whenever. It was nice and the shopkeeper was a lovely lady. The books were always well arranged on their shelves and the little cafe space on the second floor had great Arabica.

He made a small sprint for the entrance and ducked inside, umbrella left by the door.

Almost immediately, he ran chest first into someone familiar. Conrad. Being snarky, as always. He must’ve just gotten there, too. Virote met his gaze and brushed past him, shaking the remaining rain off of his coat. ❝Yeah, look what the cat dragged in,❞ he echoed. ❝Cold as shit out there, right? Whatcha doin’ here? Are you freezing, too? Maybe, we should get a couple of books and head upstairs. Split a piece of cake. The weather’s pretty nuts, we’ll probably be here for a while.❞

[finncomet]

(from the jerma cooking simulator meme LMAO) the collector starts pointing the business end of a blowtorch directly into their own eyes. ouo

world's shittiest rp memes™: jerma985 cooking-themed sentence starters (from his cooking simulator streams)

☄️ Oh dear glob-

Finn instinctively shoves his bionic hand in between the blowtorch and the weird kid's face.

"Heeeyyy whatcha' doin' there!" 🌼