#hi ty so much for sending this in and i'm APPALLED at how long it took me to get to this

[paarthursass]

well i GOTTA ask ""you haven't changed." "...do you mean that in a good way or bad way?""

exes to lovers dialogue

"You haven't changed."

Aurel did not meet Wyll's gaze. They sat within a breadth of each other; Wyll's hands were warm as he bandaged the burns on Aurel’s chest. 

He had borne burn scars on his back, once.  It seemed only fitting that now he would bear the reverse; a symbolic branding of the change he had undergone.

'I could only obtain one Scroll of True Polymorph. Karlach required it more urgently than I.'

"That's not what I meant," Wyll hissed.

Aurel almost missed the intimacy of when they had both carried tadpoles in their minds; the effortless psychic link that had cropped up between them, even back when Aurel was so desperately trying to hide himself from Wyll.  He could have re-established the connection now; his own psychic powers were strong enough, and he did so dearly wish he could just know what Wyll was thinking instead of trying to interpret the cadence of his voice and the way he breathed. 

But it would be an invasion of privacy, and it would mean facing the full force of Wyll's grief. 

Aurel grieved himself enough.

'Then say what you mean.'

"You broke into Mephistopheles' library, Aurel!"

'Yes,' Aurel replied plainly, still not facing Wyll. 'We have spent months chasing inconclusive leads among Zariel's forces. Conversely, we knew with certainty that Mephistopheles' realm held tomes and scrolls of every arcane spell in existence.  And with Hope’s House holding a portal to Cania, it was more efficient to steal a scroll from him than to chase flimsy rumors to every end of Avernus.'

"Don't do that," the small part of Aurel's heart that was still a man twinged at how Wyll’s voice broke. "Don't try and speak to me like you're just a mind flayer."

'I am just a mind flayer.'

Aurel felt bile rise in his throat.  He snapped his head to the side to turn his cold, violet gaze onto Wyll.  HIs old lover paused in his work, his dark devil-eye staring back unflinchingly.

There was a time he could have read Wyll’s face with ease.  He would have known what the clench of his jaw meant, or if the way his fingers trembled were from anger or grief.

Or perhaps he had been fooling himself, lost in the throws of new love, and he didn’t know Wyll at all.

'You and Karlach have been putting on a pantomime. Whether for my sake or to ease your own grief, I do not know, but what I do know is that Mizora was right; Aurel died that day in the Astral Prism. His soul has left for the Fugue Plane, and I am only an echo of his memories. I am an abomination to illithid-kind, and a cruel reminder to you.'

Wyll’s jaw flexed, his lips pursed into a thin trembling line — grief then.  Of course.  The man he loved was dead. 

Once, Aurel would have pulled him close to chase those tears away. He would have cupped his face in his hands, kissed his cheeks, held him as he wept...

His mouth was no longer made for tenderness, but for cracking through skulls and gorging on the grey matter within. His hands were warped into cold, slimy claws that inspired more disgust than warmth. His closeness would only bring Wyll more discomfort.

That seemed to be all he brought Wyll nowadays.

'Well, you need no longer continue this farce,' Aurel went on. 'With the Scroll of True Polymorph, Karlach can inhabit a new body free of the Infernal Engine. The two of you may return to the Material Plane.'

"You're not coming with us?" Wyll's voice broke, his remaining eye large and wet and grief-stricken.

'I will not force you to endure my presence any longer,' Aurel turned away. And he cursed his ceremorphosis — not for transforming him into a monster, but for making him this incomplete thing that still wavered when faced with Wyll’s forlorn gaze.

'There is ample food for me here, and I will take pleasure in knowing I am thinning Zariel's forces as I feed.'

"Alone?"

He hated how quiet Wyll's voice was. Why didn't he hate him? Why were they both clinging to a ship they both knew was sinking?

'I cannot be what you want,' Aurel said stiffly. 'I have told you; I am an echo of who Aurel was. I am a living reminder of your dead love. You need not suffer me any longer.'

"I don't suffer you."

'I see how you look at me, Wyll!' Aurel snapped his head around to look at Wyll once more, tentacles flaring. 'You do not see me; you see a dead man you once loved. You saw how Mayrina dragged along the rotting corpse of her husband; I will not be your Connor!'

Wyll flinched, as did Aurel — surprised by the force of his own psychic lashing. Every time he spoke he tried to keep a tether on his telepathy, tried to keep himself from probing too far and sharing too much but in that moment...

"That's really what you think you are," Wyll breathed, his eyes wide. "A shambling zombie trailing after me?"

Aurel's tentacles twitched, and he turned so he could no longer look at Wyll's large, sad eyes.

'Mizora was right,' he said again. He could almost hear her shrill laughter, echoing on the winds of Avernus. 'I am a worm wriggling around in a dead man's brain. I recall his life, his feelings, as if they were my own...and when left to my own devices, I still trick myself into thinking I am him.'

Aurel was quiet for a moment. The balcony doors were open, the rust-red sky of Avernus plain to see. The faint smell of sulfur wafted in, but in Raphael's old boudoir the smell of incense still overpowered Avernus's acrid stench.

They had killed Haarlep here. The incubus had leered at him, tongue tracing their fangs as they looked to make Aurel their next meal, and Wyll had held on to his hand so tightly, as if he was afraid one lecherous look from the incubus would pull him away from his side.

Haarlep hadn't taken him, but only a few days later...the Netherbrain, the Emperor, Orpheus...

'I thought about it.'

Aurel glanced back at Wyll, cheeks wet from silent tears but eyes soft with confusion. "Thought about what?"

'When Orpheus said what needed to be done,' Aurel turned to look back at Avernus. He couldn't look at Wyll, not when admitting this. 'I thought of asking him to do it instead.'

Wyll went quiet. Aurel did not know whether it was grief, or disappointment, or shame that caused his silence, but he persisted all the same.

'The rightful Prince of the Githyanki; their best hope of liberation and ending Vlaakith's tyranny. I thought of asking him to become illithid instead. Worse, I thought it would have been better to let the Emperor feed on him, to let them kill him and take his power, because that would have meant it wouldn't have to be me.'

The carefully maintained dam of his telepathy cracked again. Just a little as his grief, as his anger bubbled over. But it seemed to be enough; Wyll's lips parted, his eyes widened as the torrent of Aurel's emotions seeped through.

'I thought to damn the Githyanki people — Lae'zel's people. I was weak, and I was terrified, and all I could think about was how I wanted to go to that dinner with Karlach and Fytz. I wanted to see Gale’s tower in Waterdeep.  Hells, I even wanted to help Astarion find a new home for him and the other spawn.'

Aurel's entire body had gone rigid. He shook, his claws digging into the sheets of the bed while his tentacles trembled as he stared intently at the wall.

'I wanted my father to recognize me when I went home,' he could not sob, not anymore, but the flood of thoughts and feelings felt nearer to hysteria than he'd been in a long, long time. 'I wanted us to have more than just that one night under the Wilden Oak. I wanted to go to sleep at night by your side and then kiss you awake each morning. And I wondered to myself, 'Could I?' Could I sacrifice the freedom of an entire people just so I could wake up each morning with you in my arms?'

His whole body trembled as those emotions ceremorphosis should have snuffed out spilled over into the air. A small, broken gasp escaped Wyll as he felt it, as all the rage and grief and shame that Aurel had been so desperately trying to hide all these months spilled over into the light.

'I was almost so weak. Weak and stupid and selfish. And I have spent these past months trying to convince myself that it was worth it. That becoming this was worth sacrificing our future.'

He didn't think he was capable of this anymore. This rage, this overwhelming grief, this pain. 

The baubles on the nightstand were rattling, even the bed seemed to be shaking as his telekinesis bubbled within him. 

He hadn't felt this raw and uncontrolled since he was an adolescent.

He forced himself out of the bed and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to blot out the everything as if that would stop this.  Stop him.  

He couldn’t. 

It wasn’t just him shaking now; he could hear the bed rattling against the wall, the water in the bath splashing.  Something fell onto the floor and shattered.  He couldn’t stop.  He couldn’t.

And then there was a clawed hand on his arm.  Tentative; just a brush against his cold skin, but enough to share its warmth.

Aurel shuddered, and with that his telekinesis calmed.  The rattling stopped, the House of Hope stood still once more, and Aurel stood there with Wyll hovering inches away.

Aurel stepped away from him.  Out, further, onto the balcony.  He turned to stare blankly out at the barren landscape of Avernus, at the red mountains on the horizon and the smoke rising in the distance.

I will never see the mountains of my home again.

I will never see my father again.

'It is bad enough that I must spend the rest of my days feeling sorry for myself, but I cannot, will not bring you down with me, Wyll. I will not have you standing by my side out of duty and staring at me while you mourn the man you love. That is no life, not for either of us. So leave; go with Karlach back to Baldur's Gate, grieve me, move on, and let me die here knowing I took as many of Zariel's soldiers with me as I could.'

A shuddering exhale escaped Wyll. He was right there, right behind Aurel. He could feel his breath on his neck, could feel the prickling of his warmth on his back.

"Is that what you want?" Wyll asked, his voice ragged and raw.

Aurel closed his eyes.

'What I want does not matter.'

"It does."

'I cannot have it,' Aurel snapped. 'Don't you see, Wyll? I want you to look at me without shame. I want to be able to walk with you in the sunlight. I want to see my father again, with you by my side. I want...I want to be me again.'

A shaky, rattling exhale escaped through Aurel's teeth as he looked up.

'But I am not. Even polymorphing back into my original body could not change that. I am...I am not him. But I don't know who I am when I'm not him. And I do not think I can ever know.'

This was why mind flayers forgot who they were. This was why partialism was such a taboo to them. No mind flayer would be able to survive this agony.

Aurel almost felt sorry for the Emperor. Deluding himself into believing he was still Balduran, that he was better as a mind flayer, had to be the only way he could survive such a thing.

Ansur really would have done him a mercy if he'd killed him.

A pair of warm arms wrapped around Aurel's middle. He tensed, his breath hitched as Wyll rested his forehead against Aurel's back and squeezed with his arms.

"Why did you go to Mephistopheles' library alone," Wyll murmured.

Aurel trembled.

'Because it was dangerous,' he said. 'Because if I failed, then you and Karlach would still be safe.'

Wyll's breath hitched as he squeezed Aurel.

"That's what I meant," he sighed. "Oh Aurel, I’m not leaving you here.”

‘You must.’

“No.”

Aurel tried to pull away, but Wyll only loosened his grip enough to spin Aurel around - to force them eye to eye while Wyll grabbed his shoulders.  His claws dug into Aurel’s skin, and his eye blazed.

“You haven’t changed,” he insisted. “You’re still the same as you were before.  I should have known from the moment you agreed to jump with Karlach into Avernus without a thought; you’re still the same man who bargained with Mizora for my soul, who risked a sinking prison for my father…who became a mind flayer to save the world.”

Wyll was crying again.  The tears were running freely down his cheeks, spilling onto his tunic.  Aurel stared at the dark spots dumbly as his head spun.

“And then you went and stole from Mephistopheles, and you could have just helped yourself but you didn’t.  You thought…you thought I didn’t love you as you were and you still thought to save Karlach first.”

Wyll’s claws dug in further as he stared up at Aurel, and he gave his shoulders a firm shake.

“I’m not leaving you to sacrifice yourself to Zariel’s forces,” he said. “You’re the same.  You’re the same.”

Aurel wished again to reach out his telepathy, to feel the edges of Wyll’s mind so he might know.

But instead he just nodded his head, and he relished the relieved sob that escaped Wyll.

He wanted to believe this. 

Even if it was a lie.

[saturndigital]

I love all of these SM YAY!!

This is so long I am so sorry LMAO I tried to be brief with a few explanations:

- Shermie is still the youngest, he took the role of Keeper after Ford left the clan. Ford was being trained to be the next keeper but opted to research anomalies across Thedas instead (which was positively supported by his clan given how the show plays out).

- The clan moving forests was in part due to the incident with Stanley. The current event that happened was that Ford found out Kirkwall secrets that would've killed him, but he wanted to publish his findings anyway. In an act of desperation to not see his brother killed (not by his clan but by outsiders) Stanley burned his research and it ended up causing an even bigger fire, leading to a big chunk of the clan's supplies going down with it. His actions in this au were not self-motivated to keep Stanford around but to instead protect him.

- I think with how Golems are created in DA Fidds wouldn't go that far, however, I do think he'd find his own ways of using lyrium to create crazy contraptions and machines. 100% his portal experience would be a look into the fade.

- The tavern idea is fun I like that a lot, I can see them breaking into a Circle's library together to get research for their portal

- yep! he's definitely visited family in dreams, though I feel being stuck in the Fade makes him more focused on avoiding demons and Bill rather than taking the time to pop in and say hello.

- I would not put it past Ford to try to break into the Black City cause he's a curious and prideful little shit, but I think he would've failed and turned his attention elsewhere

- Ford does know a bit more about the Evanuris than others (you can thank his muse for that information), but I think he's unaware of a lot and would be appalled to find out Fen'Harel is Solas

- Speaking of his muse, Bill is an Evanuris. He was trapped away with the rest of the Evanuris, however, because of his immense skill in Fade magic/spirits similar to Solas' abilities, he's able to use his spirit to roam the Fade outside of his bindings. A lot of Bill's character for this is still up in the air to be honest, as we don't know much of the Evanuris YET 1 MONTH UNTIL VEILGUARD WOO!! I'm kinda waiting to write him because the next game is just around the corner lol

- Gideon is 100% from an Orlesian Circle, The Northwests are also from Orlais yes!

- Mabel would love Grey Wardens just cause of their Gryffon brand, she'd knit a sweater with a Gryffon on it

- I like that a lot, the idea the twins left to find the author themselves and found their Grunkle is really neat

- putting all these stories in my notes for later ty I love all of these

- Yes I intend to keep the 30 years! Ford seeing the first high dragons would've definitely been a major inspiring moment for him in his 20s, maybe even an omen to him in a way

- Agent Powers and Trigger are definitely Templars that try to send the twins to a Circle and have Stan arrested

- Stan and Varric are drinking buddies who keep in touch every now and then. Stan for sure loves his stories and they would catch up with a game of Wicked Grace after meeting again in Skyhold.

Hi! Just found your Veil Falls AU, and like... My one of oldest loved titles and current one.... Count me intrigued and waiting for more. And like... Sorry, if it's too soon, but did you compose the timeline for the au already? I mean I saw that Ford (also really liked your work of making them dalish names!) missed events of dao-da2, but does it means that others didn't? Like where was their clan during Blight or did they even know there was one? Or did Stanley (I suppose he travelled all of Thedas) had troubles with Crows and stuff?

Really sorry for questions, but I really was into DA some years ago, and I'm really into GF now, and this AU is like the most delicious cake for my soul.

I am over the moon someone is so interested in this au that they have so many questions EEEKK never apologize I'm SO happy to answer!!

As of RIGHT NOW I have a very basic idea of the timeline:

Ford returning from the Fade happens before the events of the Inquisition, as to me Weirdmaggedon is the entirety of that game's plot (yes this means Bill had a part to play in it but that's story talk for later). So, the summer that the twins visit Stan happens between the events of DA2 ending and the Conclave's destruction (9:40 Dragon I believe would be the year?).

Yes, the others did experience it, though because many of the cast are so young or in Stan's case constantly all over the place, they weren't at the epicenters of those games' plots. Most of the cast experienced the consequences of the events and how that affected the world rather than being part of said events.

The clan did survive the blight and currently, their grandfather Shermie (still figuring out an elven name for him rn it's Shirem) is the Keeper of their clan. The clan resided in the Planasene Forest when Ford and Stan were young, but have since moved to the Brecilian Forest which is where they possibly were during the 5th blight. Dipper being Dipper he probably begged someone in the clan to tell him about the blight and darkspawn so they definitely do know.

This is where I am still workshopping ideas, as I am constantly going through the lore like "hmmm would this work? Maybe not hmmm" but there are a lot of things I have solidified, mainly character stuff.

Stanley I do not doubt got into heaps of trouble with possibly multiple groups, including Crows. He definitely has tales to tell that makes the twins go "Grunkle Stan WHAT??"

If you or anyone has ideas on either timeline or character stuff I am all ears! The fun thing to me about aus like this is that I don't know everything, but some do! And those people have cool ideas because of it! So if you've got smth in mind I am intently listening. I do already have certain character designs and backgrounds already figured out, but I will chew on anything tossed my way anyway LOL

Thank you for asking!!!