#hi hello my brain likes to poke at characters and put them in silly situations

[wrathbites]

Don't mind me, just a random mental image.

Spite: ROOK. WE ARE UNDER. ATTACK.

Rook with a dagger in hand already: where

Spite: EVERYWHERE

Lucanis: ignore him. It's his first introduction to the common cold.

Spite: IT IS HELL. H E L L. ROOK. DO SOMETHING.

And what follows is some back and forth between Lucanis and Rook regarding medicine. Lucanis refuses. Rook threatens to drag his sorry ass to Viago.

As if Viago will help. Rook getting up close and personal to state ever so softly "he will if he knows what's good for him."

Lucanis very clearly seeing this is Not A Bluff. Fine. Fine, he'll take the damn medicine.

It makes him drowsy. It also makes Spite drowsy.

Spite, who drapes over Rook like a particularly comfortable cat and grumbles the entire time about the body trying to kill them both. This was never discussed. How do mortals live like this? Terrible conditions, poor body design, absolutely would not recommend.

Rook quietly finding this equal parts amusing and adorable.

[raisinghellonstarbug]

Stumbled Into Laughter, Stumbled Into You - A James Acaster x Reader Story

Basic plot: The year is 2019, and life has been quite dull for you since working in a job that you hate for the past two years after graduating from university. You used to do stand up comedy at uni, but you’ve been putting off pursuing it due to lack of confidence and motivation. Your best mates decide to encourage you to try a comedy mic night for the first time ever and while there you incidentally run into an old mate of yours, comedian Rhys James. That’s when your life gets turned around as you end up diving into the world of the comedy circuit and becoming close with other famous British comedians. In the midst of it all, you end up meeting a particularly distinctive red headed fellow who might end up being the very thing that brings meaning to your life again.

*

A/N: Hello Acaster fans!

So this was an idea I have had in mind for the last few months and I finally finished the first chapter of my story!

Just so you know, the first chapter does not include James, but be patient as he will appear soon (but maybe not quite as soon as you hope). I do reckon it will be worth the wait for his appearance, or at least I hope the story is still enjoyable! It is a slow burn so if you are an inpatient person, then this story might not be for you ;)

You can read this chapter below or if you prefer, there is also the link to the chapter posted on Ao3 right here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33748507

-

Rating: M

Chapter 1 word length: 2326

Characters: James Acaster (duh), Original Female Characters(s), Original Male Character(s), Rhys James, Ed Gamble, Nish Kumar, Josh Widdicombe

Relationships: James Acaster x Reader/you, Original female character/Original Male character

Story tags: Romantic comedy, domestic fluff, slow burn, fluff and smut, British comedy, eventual relationships

Tagging: @laurabeech @rilannon @jasclearwaters @marklily @queensantiagoofthe99

Chapter 1 - Summer 2019

You were sitting at your desk at your mundane job, practically ready to blow your brains out on the usual, dull Thursday afternoon. It was really warm and stuffy inside the fifteen story office block building situated in Canary Wharf. This was a place you found yourself five days a week, doing the typical 9 to 5 hours. A usual day for a usual person.

Your job wasn’t a particularly riveting one. As an underwriter for an insurance company, some days could get especially boring. You knew how to do the job well, but it was not something you really loved. It involved all kinds of clients and claims in paperwork and it sometimes felt tedious and unfulfilling. But hey, it still paid your share of rent and bills. At least you could say you could manage in the hustle and bustle of the London lifestyle.

It was nearly hometime and you were itching to get home and relax. But before that could happen, there were those last set of insurance cover forms you had to copy to get sent to the HR department. And so you typed away on your laptop, clickety clack, clickety clack… the minutes went by like a chalk on a blackboard, scraping away at a snail’s pace.

You put your full force of concentration on the documents on the screen until it was finally done. A sense of achievement was necessary in these moments despite your lack of enthusiasm. It was in the little victories you reminded yourself. You rubbed the sweat from the July heat off your forehead.

* * *

The last 2 hours eventually passed by and it was soon the rush to get out of the door before you got held up by your colleagues. They were nice enough, but sometimes they could hold you back for half an hour chatting when you just wanted to get home, or your manager might try and get you to stay an hour overtime.

Thankfully you did get out promptly, and as you ran and dashed out of the office building saying brisk goodbyes to coworkers, you managed to make it to the tube with the train just arriving on time. But not without being moderately sweaty and hot though. Bloody stuffy platforms.

As expected it was still a busy train with plenty of 5pm finishers getting themselves situated on the half crowded carriages, but as it was only 10 past, it wasn't the worst time of day for commuting yet.

You perched yourself on one of the tube’s seats and let your shoulders drop, having held the tension in your body from sitting at a desk all day. You placed your head slightly back, balancing it on the window of the train. You looked up momentarily above you and then lifted your head back up to look at your phone and choose a song to listen to on Spotify through your wireless earphones.

The streams of sound from one of your favourite songs began to play softly in your ears and you smiled, knowing that the song gave you a little bit of wistful joy. You started mouthing the words.

Call it all for nothing, but I'd rather be nothing to you. Than be a part of something, something that I didn’t do (Best to You - Blood Orange).

The words half mean something but not necessarily anything. You began to wonder about being part of something that you’re not.

I just wish I could float away from my unexciting existence… you thought to yourself.

It sometimes occurred to you that you might have wanted something more out of life, but weren’t entirely sure what. It doesn’t make you dreadfully sad, but you know that life for you hasn’t exactly been the best it could be, and that perhaps something was missing. You wish you knew what it was.

You sighed, ignoring the feeling of sorrow wash over you momentarily and propped yourself back up in the uncomfortable seat of the train. You tried to keep yourself awake so that you wouldn’t miss your stop. The music continued through your ears.

* * *

You opened the door of the three bedroom flat that you had been residing in for the last two years with your flatmates and sighed with relief that you had finally reached home. You hurried to get your handbag off your shoulder and your shoes off, placing them on the rack next to the front door and walked through the hallway.

The minute you poked your head through to the lounge, bellowing a faint hello to whoever was around, you were suddenly greeted by one of your best friends and flatmates, Grace.

“Ahh Y/n! You’re home. Thank christ!”

She grabbed you and reached her arms around to embrace you tightly. You were perplexed by this gesture as it was so random and unusual given that Grace lived with you and saw you everyday of the week. You frowned and reluctantly placed your arms around her to return the hug.

As she then let go, she looked at you with urgency in her eyes and shrieked with excitement, “Oh Y/n guess what? It looks like I’m up for a promotion! Can you believe it?”

Now processing the reason for such an embrace, you raised your eyebrows in glee and smiled proudly, gushing back to your best mate who was obviously chuffed by the matter.

“Oh wow Grace, that's fantastic! I mean, finally. It is about bloody time!”

She smiled, “Yes I guess it is. But I mustn't get too excited. I haven’t officially got the promotion yet.”

“Ah but no. I’m not having any of that. You will get that promotion. It is a guarantee. They would be idiots to not give it to you.” Grace rolled her eyes and bit her lip. She reluctantly nodded and agreed.

The smell of food distracted you momentarily from the conversation. It was a particularly appetising smell.

Grace uttered, “Yes that smell is good isn’t it? Theo insisted on cooking us a nice meal for me as a celebration.”

You smiled knowingly, having known about how Grace and Theo had been in relationship limbo ever since you three became close friends at university. You knew they both had feelings for each other but often danced around the subject, completely oblivious to one another’s obvious attraction to the other. You reckoned they had to do something about it one day.

“Thank fuck. I wasn’t prepared to make dinner tonight. I am too tired for that.”

Grace then had her worried face on. She instantly knew, as she knew you too well, but funnily enough never picked up on Theo’s emotions despite constantly wondering about them, that something was wrong.

“Are you ok babe?” she asked with a look of pity that you scornfully resented.

You sighed, half lying, “Yes. I’m fine. Just tired is all.”

You made a beeline for the couch knowing full well that you were going to talk about it whether you liked it or not. You knew that Grace would see right through your dishonesty and insist that you told her the problem.

So you waited until Grace inevitably sat next to you and gave you that sympathy look she always gave you before coming out with the concerns that were floating around your brain.

“OK fine. I know you won’t leave me alone unless I tell you.”

“Ahh, you know me so well…”

“Yes, just as you know me. I’m just- I’m fed up. Work was slow. I don’t really feel like I’m associated with my life. I feel... disconnected, I guess.”

“Do you have any idea why?”

You shrugged and looked down at the floor and then back at Grace smiling sheepishly, “I don’t know. Maybe I’m not- not fulfilled? I just don’t thoroughly enjoy my life right now.”

Grace nodded and put a hand on your leg. You twitched your face in slight discomfort. You hated it when you were given sympathy for something that seemed so miniscule. It wasn’t like you were dying.

It was times like this when you just wanted to curl up in your bed, eat a tub of ice cream and watch your favourite comedy programmes. 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown sprang to mind.

As you sat in momentary silence for a bit, Theo came waltzing through from the kitchen with his silly apron on that had a naked man’s body printed on it, and a spatula in his hand. He smiled at you.

“I thought I heard your voice. I hope meatballs for dinner are good tonight. Not mine of course,” gesturing to the apron as he said it.

You shook your head at Theo’s poor dad joke and stood up to hug him. You realised that you must be really down in the dumps to be hugging Theo. It was his turn to be confused. He looked towards Grace wide eyed.

“She’s had a particularly tough day. But mind you babe, you’ve kinda been like this for weeks now.”

You let go of Theo and turned to Grace, frowning and feeling slightly defensive. You placed a hand on your hip.

“Been like what? I’ve just been a bit fed up, that's all.”

“Yes but it’s not just a bit fed up. You said so yourself you feel disconnected. We’ve been waiting for you to say it.”

You looked to Theo and he nodded gently in agreement.

“Ok… but, nothing is really wrong exactly. My life is fine.”

“Fine, yes. But not amazing. We know it’s getting you down. And the job is the problem.”

“But I’m good at it. And it pays the bills. What else am I supposed to do?”

Grace then looked away from your eyes then, twitching her lip and looking as though she was holding something back. She then sighed and began to admit something you had not been expecting.

“OK look. We know what you can do. Theo and I have figured it out. We can manage money wise. It will be tight, but if you quit your job we should be able to help you out for a little bit.”

Your eyes grew wider than large saucepans. You were totally bewildered and your mouth slightly agape.

“What? Quit my job? Why? What work would I get instead?”

“Well, maybe you won't quit your job yet. Maybe you’re right, that's too hasty. Perhaps what I’m trying to say is-”

Theo then chimed in, “-what Grace is trying to say is…”

You smirked to yourself. How do they not realise that they’re already a couple but without the sex? They’re practically married for christ sake.

“...we reckon that you need to pursue your passion. Perhaps stop wasting your talents in an office job that you hate.”

Grace continued, “yes exactly. We have had an idea in mind. See, we want you to go to this thing… it’s no biggie but well, we’ve already booked it for you.”

Your mind was racing. You couldn’t understand anything that they were saying to you. It was all too much for you to manage.

“Booked what for me? What the hell are you both going on about?”

They both looked at each other with reluctance, pondering the moment and whether to tell you the whole truth. They both shrugged and Grace was then pulling her phone out, this whole conversation beginning to appear as though they had been trying to practice it.

Suddenly Grace’s phone screen was wavering in your face. You moved your head closer to see a photo on the screen. It was a comedy club night poster. Incidentally, it was an open mic night event happening on Saturday night. You began to then put the puzzle pieces together. You folded your arms and frowned heavily.

“What the fuck have you two done now?”

Theo softly spoke, “We… booked you a slot to do that comedy open mic event thing, on Saturday night.”

“Wait. As in to perform? You can’t be serious-”

Grace tried to reassure you and grabbed your arm.

“Look, we know it might seem daunting, but we just wanted to see you happy again. It’s been two years since we graduated and you haven’t performed since then. We thought it might be good to encourage you to perform again. You were always funny to us. And people at uni thought so too. You have the stand up talent, Y/n.”

You could not process anymore. You shook your head in disbelief and placed your head in your hands, rubbing your eyes from sudden exhaustion. You then threw your hands up in exasperation. It was not possible. You could not do that again.

Fucking no way. I can’t be on stage again! It’s too scary. University pub nights are one thing but a comedy club?

You shook your head again and placed your hands on your hips. Grace tried to speak up again seeing the frustration painted across your face. In fact it was anger that your friends chose to do this without your say so.

“Y/n…”

“No. Nope. I’m not doing it. No.”

“But Y/n, we were also going to tell you that Theo is also thinking of doing the same thing! He wants to do his music again. What harm would it be for you to rejuvenate your comedy skills? Surely you can write a quick couple of gags. Nothing strenuous. You have your old material from university, right?”

You had to get out of the room. Nothing that they were saying to you could be fully accepted at that moment.

You then gave them no choice but to let you go with your head in a flurry. They both watched you leave the room, mumbling something along the lines of I’m not really hungry anymore, I’m going to bed. Soon after, you darted across the other end of the hallway, ill-tempered and almost seething, and slammed your bedroom door shut.

[thethoughtsfromthreeam]

Sunshine

Pairing: Maxwell Lord x OC (Evelyn “Evie” Blaker)

Warnings: Smut

A/N: Enjoy the smut because angst is coming.  I didn’t plan on it originally, but damn if it didn’t make sense to the story line.  Ugh, angst, you bastard.

Reminder:  I ain’t ever seen Pedro Pascal in FUCK ALL, I’m just coming up with this as I go along, using imdb.com, wiki, and 84,000 tabs I got open to plan out this shit.  I also write soft versions of his characters so if you’re craving asshole vibes, I ain’t got any but my own to offer.

Tags:  @zeldasayer , @romanticgumchewer, @beskars​ , @coolmaybelateruniverse , @the-feckless-wonder, @lavenderl3mons , @pascalisthepunkest , @mandoandyodito​ , @randomness501 , @fioccodineveautunnale  

[PART 1]  [PART 2]  [PART 3]  [PART 4]  [PART 5]

Part 6 

That Let You Fly High

“Evie!”  Maxwell’s voice rang through the house as he walked in the door, dropping his briefcase by the hall table and hanging his coat on the rack.  He was humming with a smile on his face.  He was taking two days off and that, plus the weekend, meant he had four whole days of Evie to himself.  His secretary asked several times if he was feeling okay and he was so blissed out on the thought, he couldn’t even pretend to be mad.

Evie herself was in the kitchen, looking out at the beautiful fall day and enjoying some hot chocolate.  Marnie had gone home early for the evening and she was lost in thought when she heard Maxwell’s voice calling her.  Something about the situation made her think of I Love Lucy and for a moment she felt like a fifties sitcom housewife.  She giggled at such a silly thought, but it wormed its way further in her brain and something about it felt right.

Before she let herself dwell on the idea, she walked out in the dining room and met him halfway, both wearing matching grins.  He walked up to her and leaned down to kiss her, her lips tasting of chocolate and whipped cream.  He thought her natural sweetness was better.  They kissed softly, a series of pecks on the lips that spoke of affection and hints of love where their tongues could not.  Not yet anyway.

“Hello Max.”  They pulled away and he took her mug and set it on the table.  He wrapped his arms around her waist, and she leaned into him. He looked down into her face, that warmth he had grown to love seemed to crawl even deeper into his soul.

“I got a call from a friend of mine, Eric, inviting me to a fundraiser tomorrow.  I think it’s for the botanical gardens or something.  Anyway, I agreed and I’m taking you with me.  I think we deserve a fancy night on the town to kick off our weekend.”  He noticed a frown growing between her eyebrows.

“I didn’t come prepared for a fancy party though.”  She was already taking mental inventory of what she would need. “I’d have to go shopping.”

“I figured, so we’ll just go shopping”

“We?”  Her tone had an amused tone to it, and he grinned.

“Yeah.  We’ll go tomorrow, do a little shopping, get some lunch.  You know, make a day of it.”

“You’ll go shopping with me.”  Her amused tone growing with each word until she got the giggles.  He raised an eyebrow, trying to look mean but absolutely failing.

“Watching you trying on gowns? Why would I miss that?”  His voice turned husky and she surprised herself by blushing under his look.  A gleam glinted in his eye and she turned away from him, heat creeping across her body.  He dropped a warm kiss to the back of her neck before leaving the room, knowing he left her body humming for him.  His grin spread across his face.

---***---

Waincotters Boutique was one of those high-end parlor-style dress stores that in any other case Evie would have bypassed for a Nordstrom’s or Bloomingdale’s.  She felt a little out of place with her jeans and tee shirt when she saw the way the salesgirls were dressed.  Maxwell held her hand and he could feel the shivers as her nerves began to get to the better of her.  He squeezed a little and glanced down at her.  Its fine, the squeeze told her.

“Maxwell!  So good to see you again!  And who do we have with us today?”  A sprightly woman with a greying bob cut smiled at the couple.  The woman was entirely welcoming, and Evie felt a little more at ease under her kind eyes.  They were whisked away to a private room with a comfortable sitting area and a small platform with mirrors.

“I’m Susanne and I’ll be helping you find the perfect dress for tonight’s event.”  The woman sat down with them and another came through the door with snacks and drinks and set them on the table before leaving the three alone again.  “What kind of event is it?”

“Formal wear, not quite black tie.”  Maxwell had called Eric to get more information and that was all he was told. “Not cocktail as far as I know.”

“Perfect.  Now Miss. . .”

“Evie.”

“Miss Evie.”  Susanne smiled again and took Evie’s hands into her own, the skin warm and comforting.

“Tell me what you like in a dress.  Sleeves?  No sleeves? Slit?  Silk? Crepe?  Color?  Cut? Style?  Shape? Length? Train?  No train? Neckline?”  The questions were almost overwhelming to her and Evie took a deep breath.  Susanne smiled and patted her hand, recognizing that look of too much information on the fiery blonde’s face.

“How about this, let’s start with something easy.  What color do you like to wear?”

“Oh purples!”  Evie sounded excited for the first time since everything started.  “I love purples, but dark ones like plum.”

“Great!”  Susanne wrote somethings down and continued to asked questions like sizes and height.  “Let me pull a variety and let you try them on and then we’ll narrow it down.”

Evie nodded and soon a dozen dresses in ranging from a deep plum to a royal purple in all different styles were hanging in front of her.  While she didn’t have a full affinity for fashion, she did love quality clothing.  Most people thought her outfits for work were staid, but the fabrics were rich, and quality made.  Even her jeans and tee shirts were well fitted and everything she wore was tailored as needed.  Being able to pick out a fancy gown was like being handed a gift, almost heavenly.

As she glanced down at the price tag, though, her eyes bugged out and she snapped her head around to look at Maxwell.  He started laughing, choking on his drink in the process.  He still laughed as he wiped his pants off.

“MAX!”  She hissed. “This dress is almost $7,000! I can’t afford this!”  She put the dress back on the rack as if it were on fire.

“You’re not, I’m buying it.”

“Oh no you’re not.  We’re leaving and going to Saks or something.”  She stepped off the platform to grab her purse when he shot his hand out to stop her.

“Evie.  Stop worrying about it.  I’m buying you a dress, it’s no big deal.”

“I can’t let you spend $7,000 on me!”  Her voice rose with every word until the last one came out as a squeak. “That’s outrageous, it’s too expensive. THAT’S SEVEN GRAND!”

“Evie, please calm down for one second.”  Maxwell looked her in the eyes, an amused and almost loving look to them. “I care about you finding a dress you love and that you’ll want to show off tonight.  I want you to feel good.  Price is of no matter to me.  And if I thought it was, do you think I would have brought you here in the first place?”

She stopped and seemed to calm down somewhat, her face still red as she looked at the first dress she had pulled off the rack.

“Well, you got me there.”

“I know.  Now ignore the price tags, find what makes you feel beautiful and its yours.”

“I never had anyone spend so much money on me.”  Her tone was low, not meaning for him to hear her.  It was almost obscene how much he was willing to spend, and she felt a little guilty.  Kind of how she felt guilty asking to order a second dessert on their first date.  Quality she was willing to spend money on, but boy, $7,000 was way too rich for her decidedly middle-class tastes.

“I suppose it would be crass to say that you’ve never had anyone with my level of wealth buying things for you.”  He smiled as she giggled.

“That’s true.”  She walked back over to the dresses and ran her fingers across them, feeling silk and crepe and a jersey so soft a baby could have been swaddled in it.  And they were her favorite color. . .  She turned around.

“Are you staying here while I try them on?”

“That was the goal.”  Again, his voice turned slightly husky and a small smirk grew on her lips.  As he sat down, she turned and walked over to the door, head poking out, she asked for a pair of heels in her size and muttered something to the salesgirl.  She stepped back into the room and closed the door, locking it behind her.

Maxwell had settled back into his seat, taking off his jacket and rolling up his cuffs.  He popped a cracker into his mouth, not really paying attention to Evie as she stepped back onto the platform.  She faced away from him and pulling out a hair tie, she swept her long locks into a bun. When she could see Maxwell looking at her, she dropped her hands to the hem of her shirt.

Capturing Maxwell’s eyes, she held his gaze as she slowly raised her shirt, exposing the skin of her stomach inch by inch.  She ran her hands up and across her breasts as she continued to pull up the fabric, her yellow bra peeking out from under the shirt. He swallowed, but her face remained stoic.

She grabbed the hem of her shirt and whipped it over her head, dropping it on the floor.  She stood there a moment before bringing her hand to the button of her jeans.  She popped the button as she toed off her flats.  She could see the bulge growing in Maxwell’s pants and his eyes were darkening.  She unzipped her pants and pushed them off her hips.  She bent over and thrusted her ass out in his direction as she pushed them off her legs.  From where he sat, he could see the crotch of her panties darkening as Evie became more and more turned on.

Evie remained bent over, slightly turning her head and she saw that Maxwell had loosened his tie and rolled up his sleeves.  Those forearms of his, the crisp blond hairs glistening in the overhead lights, something about his strong forearms sent shockwaves of pleasure to the very center of her.  She slowly stood up and stepped out of the puddle of denim at her feet, kicking it off to the side.  A low groan came from behind her as she stood there in just her underthings.  She paused until he looked her in the eye, and she bowed her head slightly.

Reaching up, she unhooked her bra’s front clasp and the fabric gaped, her breasts spilling out and her nipples playing peek-a-boo with the lace edges. She saw Maxwell shift behind her, his bulge now clearly visible in the mirror’s reflection.  She could his hands gripping the arms of the chair, knuckles almost white.  She threw him a sultry smile as she dragged her fingertips from her chin down the front of her neck to the middle of her chest.  

She let her hands rest there before fanning out her fingers and lightly running them across her breasts, moving the bra off them and exposing her harden nipples to the cooler air of the dressing room.  She could hear Maxwell’s heavy breathing growing more rapid as he watched her actions in the mirrors.  Evie kept moving her hands, pealing the yellow material off her body and let it drop behind her.  She threw Maxwell a coquettish look in the mirror as she brought her hands back to her breasts.

She spread her hands until her flesh was covered, and she could feel the hard nub of her nipples against her palms.  She lolled her head downward, keeping a steady gaze with Maxwell, who was practically vibrating with want.  Her fingers were soft against her skin and slowly she dragged them until her fingertips were against her nipples.  He watched as she flicked her wrists and twisted the taunt flesh and her moan went straight to his cock.

The ripples of pleasure in her breasts were making her clit feel needy and her hips jerked forward, pulsating for a touch.  Her body slightly bowed into herself and her mouth dropped open although no sound came out.  Evie tried to maintain eye contact with Maxwell, but the pleasure was so overwhelming that she closed her eyes, chasing the edges of her climax.  She continued to tweak her nipples, her body straining for her clit to be touched.

Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore and she dropped her hands, brushing them over her clothed mound.  She could feel her panties growing damper with each passing moment and she unconsciously rubbed her thighs together.  Suddenly, she turned around, facing her audience for the first time since she locked the door.

“Max.  Come here.” He didn’t need to be told twice, he was out of his chair and in one long stride, he stood in front of her.  The dark pools of his lustful eyes drew her in, and she threw him a sultry look.  “Take off my panties.”

He groaned as he dropped to his knees, looking at up at her.  Maxwell felt like he was on fire.  The minute he saw the skin of her stomach, he was lost. The more she exposed, the harder he became, and he desperately wanted to fuck her senseless.  His entire body itched to feel her skin, his tongue wanted to explore the slit he knew was soaked, and he cock ached for her.  He brought his hands to her hips and he could see them shaking in anticipation.  This woman is undoing him, a small voice inside him said.  And we fucking love it, replied the roaring lust consuming him.

He hooked his fingers underneath her silky boy shorts, the shape framing out her hips and ass beautifully.  With a slow tug, they were dragged down her legs and the smoothness of the silk created flames of heat along her skin, felt long after he tossed the scrap of fabric to the side.  Every inch of her felt like she was on fire the minute Maxwell touched her.  She looked down at him and he could barely see the golden brown he’d come to love – the pupils blown out so wide her eyes were black, and he felt as if they were sucking him in.

“Touch me.”  Her voice was a raspy whisper and Evie felt that if he didn’t, she just might die.  Thankfully for her, he obliged, and their eyes remained locked as Maxwell slowly dragged his large hands up her legs, letting just his fingertips skitter across her thighs.  Her body bowed again, and the quiet moan came from deep in her chest.  Her eyes nearly fluttered shut, but she stopped herself so she could look at him in front of her, eyes full of supplication and want.  She had brough the great and powerful Maxwell Lord to his knees and the very thought made her feel hedonistic.  She brought her hands up to his shoulders, giving her something solid to hold onto as she began to float away on a river of pleasure.

Maxwell ghosted his hand around her left thigh before grabbing it and lifting her leg.  He hooked it over his shoulder, and he brought his hands to her hips.  Tipping them slightly, he brought his mouth to her slit and flattened his tongue, dragging it through her folds before resting on her clit.  Her whole body shuttered, and she moaned at the sensation.  Her hands moved up to grip his hair, giving her the balance she needed to stay upright.

Her tugs on his hair sent pleasure directly to his cock and his own hips jerked forward.  He smiled against her before licking her again, focusing on her clit with every pass through. When her thighs began to shake with her building orgasm, he brought his hand down and sunk two fingers deep into her heat.  She gasped his name at the sensation and the feral feeling in his chest grew.  This woman’s pleasure was his and his alone and he was going to take it.

Evie’s eyes fluttered shut and her body continued to tremble at the overwhelming sensations she was experiencing and her grip on him grew tighter. His eyes, despite their lust, were full of adoration for her and she never felt as cherished in such a position as she did now.  Something bloomed deep inside of her, something behind the lust that wrapped its ghostly fingers around her heart.

“Max, I’m going to come.”  She whispered it, trying to keep the noise down as to not arouse suspicion from the salesgirls.  He nodded as he continued to pump his hand into her, and he zeroed in his tongue on her clit.  Soon the familiar coils in her stomach reached their breaking point and she gritted her teeth as she came, the strangled cry sounding hoarse.  He withdrew his fingers but kept licking her clit until he felt her pulling his head away from her.

Her skin was flushed, and her body kept trembling against him, her chest heaving with exertion.  He could tell she was barely standing upright, she always lost control of her body when she came.  Knowing that he brought her to such highs felt like the best drug he could take.  Every pant, every groan – he was able to draw those from her and he almost was addicted to it.  

He brought his hands to her hips and leaned back onto his heels.  He had to have her, and his hand dropped to his crotch.  Maxwell unzipped his pants, pulling his rock-hard cock out, precum practically dripping out of him in a continuous stream.  He palmed himself, stroking a few times to spread his own slickness along with hers. He found himself struggling not to go any further.

“Sit on my lap, Evie.  I need you on me.”  His voice sounded desperate, a vibration that resonated with her.  They fucked several times since she arrived in the city, but something about this time seemed different and she felt as if she would die if she didn’t feel him inside of her.  She dropped to her knees, straddling his lap as he grabbed the base of his cock.  She slowly lowered herself onto him and her breath stuttered out of her lungs as she felt him fill her.  When he was buried to the hilt, Evie briefly thought that Maxwell was touching her very soul and she wasn’t sure where they each began and ended.

She dropped her head onto his shoulder and wrapped her arms around him. Even though he was fully dressed, the heat of his skin seemed to burn Evie and in turn Maxwell felt as if no clothes were between then at all.  His own arms wrapped themselves around her waist, his face buried into her neck.  He took a deep breath and the warm scent that was so uniquely hers filled his lungs and hazed his mind.

They sat like that for several long minutes, just savoring the moment. On that platform, in the dressing room, something changed between them fundamentally.  The touches, the comments, the thoughts, the looks, the sensations had been building, the belief that everything just felt right to them converged in that shared moment.  The squeeze on Maxwell’s heart was vice-like and he could feel tears prickling under his lids.  He shifted his hips and he touched something in her that caused her to gasp into his shoulder, almost watery sounding, as if Evie had tears of her own.

She lifted herself before dropping back down onto his cock and Evie shuttered as the pressure in her lower belly began to spark again.  He was sensitive and every movement, no matter how small, was sending out ripples of pleasure through his whole body.  The next time she lifted her hips, he drove into her and her moan was right in his ear.  It was so loud to him and he moaned in response.  Soon they caught a rhythm in that same pattern, their pace soft and slow at first but as the rise of their shared climax began to consume them both, things began to feel more desperate.

Evie raised her head off Maxwell’s shoulder, biting her lip to stay quiet, but she felt compelled to look him in the eye as she came.  He pulled his own head out of her neck and he brought his hand up to brush the tendrils of hair that had escaped her bun and stuck to her face. They stared at each other as their pace continued to increase and their bellies felt on fire – the one that consumes you until you are nothing but ash, waiting for rebirth at the apex of pleasure.

His hips were snapping into her and she gave into him, wanting to come desperately.  He knew exactly when she did, even before her walls clamped down on him, he could see it in her eyes.  She bit her lips to conceal her scream, a strangled sound replacing it instead and he drove into her one last time before coming himself.  He was always quiet, but he found himself tamping down a strangled cry of his own.  They bowed into each other, as if they could crawl inside the other and never leave.

He slowly withdrew from her and she slid off his lap with a less than graceful thump on the platform, legs slightly splayed out.  He could see their mixed come glistening between her legs and his breath caught for a moment.  She laughed and he did, too.  He leaned into her and kissed her gently on the lips before getting up and heading to the small bathroom.  He came back with a towel, his cock back in his pants, although the damp spot she created on the front of them would have been hard to hide had it not been for his jacket.

He gently cleaned her up, stealing kisses on her lips, her cheeks, her neck, - wherever he could touch her, and she responded in kind.  The smile on his face was gentle and loving and hers was, well, it was always like that and he relished it as usual.  Once she was cleaned up, she put her panties and bra back on.

“You going to watch me try on dresses?”  She asked again and he nodded as he helped her up.  He went to sit back down and observed her as she pulled dresses and put them back, trying to get a feel for everything.  But every time, she came back to a dark purple silky jersey dress, one that seemed perfect to her.

Reminiscent of Hilary Swank’s 2004 Oscar dress, Evie noted that it had a high back and a boat neckline, but was fitted, with ruching along the waist that would accent her shape beautifully.  She always preferred to be covered, and as she ran her fingers along the gown, the silk felt heavenly.  For a brief second, her brain flashed an image of said silk wrapped around Maxwell’s cock.  Her smirk was nearly hard to hide.

She looked at Maxwell, who was looking at his phone and not paying attention to her.  She snagged it off the hanger and went back onto the platform.  She stepped into the heels and slipped the dress on.  She looked at the ceiling and said a silent thank you.  It fit and with three-inch heels, the dress gently brushed the ground.  She felt divine and based on Maxwell’s whistle, looked it too.

“Evie, you look. . .”  He waved his hands at her.  “Fucking hot.”

She laughed and turned around, giving a T-pose perfected by years on the pageant circuit as a college student.  Her hands sat on her hips and the way she twisted her torso, her breasts looked round and perfect.  Despite just having fucked her, Maxwell desired to fuck her again.

“Sold.  This is it.”

“You want the shoes, too?”

“God no, these things hurt like hell and I’ve only had them on for five minutes.  We’ll find another pair elsewhere.”  He nodded as she stripped out of the dress and got her clothes back on.  She put the dress back on the hanger and draped it gently over her arm before turning back to Maxwell.

“I feel bad, we didn’t eat anything they set out.”

“Eh, we found something better.”  She laughed and swatted at his arm.  He grabbed her purse for her, and they left the room.  Susanne was waiting for them when they exited and was excited to see that Evie found the dress that she wanted.  They talked more as the purchase was rang up.  The two left the shop and slid into the waiting car, Bennett’s cheery hellos a welcome sight.

“Look at that, found the perfect dress and saved you money.” She looked at him with a grin.  The price for this dress had only been $2,000.  She was still appalled that anyone was spending that amount on her, but she could stomach that figure over $7,000 any day of the week.

“The perfect woman,” He smiled at her and leaned down to whisper, “especially in bed.”

She grew red at his comment but couldn’t stop the giggles that bubbled up in her throat.  The day had been perfect, and she was in heaven.