#hi I’m in love with Scott Moir

[tutuandscoot]

FYI: This is well over due to be posted but I’m finally doing it.

As I said a while ago I found a working link to this podcast interview (it had always been there it’s just some tumblr links stopped working). Anyway, I listened to it a few days after I posted that initial exclamation and said I would have notes to write.

Below is not an exhaustive list- I started pausing to take notes about 2/3 through, I’m sure there’s more but I think this is plenty for now.

(This has not been polished- thoughts are in random order.. hopefully it’s comprehensible. Apologies in advance for typos).

~

HE IS JUST SUCH AN AMAZING PERSON. And it’s not as though listening to this gave me that epiphany- I always believed that.

That he acknowledges his strengths and his flaws and is able to say, yes this is a weakness of mine but I know how to mould that into an advantage and make the most of it.

His beautiful, beautiful discussion of moving through and coming to terms with this feeling and joy he gets when he’d dance or be creating but didn’t think that’s what he was meant to feel and there was something wrong with him. And eventually learning to accept that it doesn’t matter that he’s a guy, he loves it and he has someone he gets to share that love with - so he never had to be alone in discovering and accepting that feeling. As a girl in a similar world to them I don’t have the same standing in feeling those societal pressures but I’ve been around other guys and just now hearing from Scott that every guy’s journey is different and it’s so important to have the supportive environment around you and so few guys have that and I’m so so happy for him that he did, because of his emotion and passion if he had been subject to bullying he may not have pursued it- coz that passion and emotion can be a double edged sword.

I relate to him, both of them so much, because I chose professional ballet I gave a up a lot early on. I moved away at 16- a similar distance to they did as well and I missed out on graduation and parties and all that normal stuff- I didn’t have a strong group of friends or, really any want to have a normal life tho so I didn’t feel like I was missing much- but you do end up just having a very different life to people your age which can make it very hard to acclimate, but like he said he always imagined he would leave home young and go after something bigger and better and I feel the same way as them. My grievances will come later in this post but I guess my issue with a lot of the discussion around them- specifically their working relationship and the kind of stuff they do that doesn’t seem normal to a lot of other people, I don’t mean this to sound braggy, but I just have a much closer connection and understanding to it that people that don’t do this sort of physically creative, athletic work-especially with others so it’s very unique and stuff that seems like it can’t be done unless there’s a particular type of ‘normal’ ‘consensual’ relationship just can’t be understood but for us who do it’s as normal as waking up pin the morning. It is just very hard to understand unless you do it. As I say that tho I hav never experienced anything like their dynamic, I’m confident in saying very few in the world have. They are just so unique and have something so special, combined with their longevity, I can put together what I know of this world and how dancers who have to work in intimate settings work together, and put that with them and the facts that’s it’s only them and only ever had been them which takes it to this level of completely consensual trust in each other for what ever they want to explore. I think for people to understand it if not from this world it requires a very open mind and view of the world and how humans interact in a bit of a different way. I don’t know, I’m not judging, anyone can and should be part of this discussion- not just around VM but what is really possible if we stop putting boundaries on love and what it means.

How he talks about his creative process, how he draws on real life emotions to transfer into his characters, whether is jealousy or sadness or anything. It’s not in a method way but it is letting himself access that honest emotion. That’s just so beautiful. I love talking about them from the pov of artistic process and sometimes I write about what I feel and know part of what their process is and merge it with my own coz it’s how I know to speak of it- so I do imagine and picture processes they may or may not do as part of their artistic exploration, but either way it really is just the most beautiful part of it that they got to share that journey together coz it’s just such a magical place to exist and that they had to that together and could communicate together in that world is just so magical, no matter the specific process.

A random quote that stuck out:

“We just wanted to share what we love to do with the world”.

The future plan:

How much they valued and had planned for those two years post PYC to improving themselves and easing themselves into the next phase of life. That opportunity for a redo coz he didn’t like the way he transitioned out of 2014.

How much they both love to work- whatever it is they have to be all in- whether that’s together or apart but cheering each other on from the sidelines.

Thoughts about the impact things people say about them has on them:

One of my fave things T has ever said, when asked what she wish she knew when she was younger was ‘it’s more important to be respected than liked’. And I would just like to add to that- it’s important who respects you.

People online really give themselves too much credit, and I give them to much credit for what affect they and their opinions have on TS life. I’ve whinged before about people having the audacity to say the things they do but even more now im realising, to think they had any major part in the direction, to think they caused or had influence to the eb and flow of their lives. I can’t, none of us can know for certain- and you really just have to be satisfied with what it is coz it’s other people lives you have absolute no control over.

But everything that happened between January 2018 and the end of 2019- as pertains to them and their partnership and their working relationship, it was all essentially planned. What tours they did was planned, TTYCT was planned- they were saying so even before the olys. 2 years of show skating was planned- “we’ve committed these two years to each other (work wise)”- (from a different interview), slowly easing out of other peoples shows (SOI, etc) was in all likelihood planned and while it wouldn’t have been a for sure until after the success of TTYCT, RTR was I’m sure for them what they hoped they would get to do and is how they wanted to finish.

Because of the way they are goal orientated and set goals and want to achieve them. And also for all they missed out on while they were athletes- their families being so important to them and missing so much, all their other interests and passions which they maintain was what they needed to remain whole people- things they couldn’t fully commit to while training but holding onto for the future to have new ways to challenge themselves.

The strength of their bond:

Something I don’t even want to discuss further after this because there are people out there who don’t get it and I know TS didn’t and don’t have time for those people- specifically if all they are gonna do is talk shit about TS, but even those who are 100% here for THEM and who they are- including myself, completely underestimate and just do not understand EVERYTHING these two went through and how all of that is going to bond them forever. It’s just the most insane, bullshit argument in the world to think that any of this can be undone and the fact that through all of that their very souls have been woven together for eternity. I talk about it both ways- factually and with the ethereal magic because it is both those things and they believe it is both those things. Being in a relationship anything near mirroring the one they have had would give a tiny glimpse into their dynamic but not having been and just accepting them and listening to them and hearing their empathy and passion is or at least should be enough to understand just how special these two are to each other and nothing will ever ever ever change that. Anyone who doesn’t believe that or can’t accept it are not worth the time of day in being part of this discussion. I convince myself of that constantly and yet somehow find myself bothered by it- but accepting it and ignoring it the way TS do is really the best way to proceed because like I said, it doesn’t matter to them. They know what they have, they have people in their lives they trust, and none of them is some rando online talking shit ( at least I would hope not). They are strong willed beyond belief. They had so many intelligent people in their lives to teach them that- they already had it themselves to even enter a world as toxic, cruel and corrupt as FS.

In talking about the people in his life most important to keeping his head straight and in a happy frame of mind: “I’m lucky I have Tessa” 😭😭😭😭 that goes along with what they did their whole careers that they just feel so lucky to have each other and they always remained a safe refuge for each other no matter what they were struggling with and outside influences.

Just how important she is to him. I know this is from 4 years ago but shit like that doesn’t change- not when it’s been for that long and as close as they have it. How much of a stabilising presence she is in his life. They often called each other their rocks and this thing about rocks is they are often heavy and don’t go anywhere easily, they stay where you left them even if it’s been a while.

The importance for them of managing their relationship. Not much else to say. It was important to them both in their sporting partnership and the longevity of their friendship- that in some ways it did resemble a marriage in the commitment they had made to each other and how much time they spent together. (Again, not new info) but they knew how to communicate and take care of each other.

(I’m gonna piss y’all if with the ‘clap emoji between every word thing but idc) “WE 👏DON’T 👏HAVE 👏 AN 👏 OFF 👏 ICE 👏 ROMANTIC 👏 RELATIONSHIP”. “IT 👏CANT 👏BE👏COMPARED 👏 TO 👏ANY 👏OTHER 👏 RELATIONSHIP”. SO STOP TRYING (im sorry I know this is from 4 years ago and most of the stuff about that doesn’t happen anymore- it’s new BS now but it still needs to be said and just fucking accepted and whoever is harassing them and talking shit about them just Fucking stop!!! If you don’t then ur an insane person). A reminder that they have said nearly these exact same things FOR YEARS. An interview in 2009 said the exact same thing- that it can’t be compared. Just coz it doesn’t make sense to you; you can’t understand it, doesn’t mean you have to make something up that makes it so you do understand. Just accept it and move on with empathy. I’m not great at math, I just don’t understand it, but I don’t go and make up a version of math that makes sense to me even tho it’s incorrect, no. I don’t need complicated math in my life so I just accept it and move on with what I do understand. There’s no way I could know what TS relationship truly is, but I at least try to listen to them and accept and understand what I can and love and appreciate them for that because they obviously put in so much care and appreciation themselves- that’s all I, anyone can do if you care about them.

I love to hear them talk about each other but I really loved how the interviewer made a point of wanting to talk to him separately, not not mention T but just have a discussion about him - inevitably T would come up because they are so intertwined to each other and he is an athlete who was in such a unique sport- one that he shared completely- exclusively with one person. I love it because it is both of them, not just one- them together that I love and admire but I also adore them separately and in this discussion it’s this one human who is in himself a whole, unique, beautiful person who shares his heart and passion and talent with another wonderful person and together they are able to make magic.

He is just a very special and inspiring human. That’s the main take away.