#hhhhhrrrrggguuugghhhh
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I think I'm getting the Impostor Syndrome spike lately bc I so rarely get to socialise in person anymore without masking thats not just Alfie
Think I've actively gotten worse. Or at least I'm...more sensitive to when I'm not masking? I get excited and talk over people a little and then spend the next 3 days thinking about it its so dumb
#or the compounding guilt over seeing messages from people but not being able to think of responces so just. not#hhhhhrrrrggguuugghhhh#good news is tomorrow is payday and Alfie is feeling really good about the chunk we're making in debt#but i also just. currently cannot even conceptualise getting through a whole month withkut running out of money halfway through#idk i...am able to recognise the mental health crossroads im at and i do NOT like the look of it#need to get a few consecutive days with nothing else going on to apply for some more new jobs#i need. to stop just kind of wishing everything would stop
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