#hhhhhhhhhhh i'll figure it out. just needed to get the thoughts out so they don't continue spinning around in the microwave in my brain.

[shirogane-oushirou]

now that i'm mentally working towards making a new ren ref sheet, i'm finding i'm. SO torn. because yeah, ref sheets can be redone if things change, w/e... but it also feels like with each one i'm "locking in" more features? and he's gone through so many changes in such a short amount of time that it's hard to decide on certain things!! like!!

(design choice rambling under the cut, i just needed to get it out of my head bc it's been stuck in there for weeks kJNKJNS)

baby boy. baby. squeezable. squeaky toy noises. super cute and primed for Corruption... and his hair is very easy to draw LMAO...

but he also just kinda looks like a silly, tired 20-something year old??? like a guy who's still catching up on sleep after many college all-nighters, but otherwise doing well?? and he looks a little more... well-kempt than he initially did. not exactly your standard anime guy but much closer to that kind of design.

meanwhile...

very first sketch, from the morning after my dream. very pretty but also A Bit Of A Mess. also very clearly 30-something years old. and i REALLY love how his messy ass hair looks.... it's just... such a pain to draw consistently KJNKSJFN...

and while it makes sense for him to look more put-together, with the way his character and story have evolved... man... messy ren is so pretty, wtf. and his hair looks so grabbable who said that.

idk i'm rambling, i'm just frustrated bc he changes a little each time i draw him so there are a bunch of different possible design choices to pick from and i like ALL OF THEM. AUGH.

(i'm also frustrated in parallel bc he was initially a scorched-earth, pure villain post-Fuckening, which was fun AND hot AND took from a lot of past dream-ocs i never did anything with... but story-wise it makes soooooo much more sense for him to directly target specific people and then fuck up Massively and have to deal with the aftermath. like i'm debating making ANOTHER ren offshoot where he really is a pure villain JUST so i can draw him being evil and fucked up and hot about it 🥴 idk, a lot of frustration from a lot of different angles!)