#hhh the soft stan really popped out

[7hyuns]

coloured by romance

haechan x reader

warnings; argument, the slightest bit of angst, fake variety show bc i couldn’t think of any to fit my plot :), maybe a lil bit of swearing i don’t have any self control

song; sweet - cigarettes after sex, out of mind - tove lo 

word count; 4.4k ladies

requested; yes!! thank you :) 

-  May I request a Haechan scenario? (angsty but turns fluffy lol) maybe where you his idol gf but you’re currently in a big argument and then the both of you have to attend some kind of variety show? ⭐️

An irritated sigh left his lips for what seemed like the hundredth time that day, and he’d only been with you for an hour. When his annoyance had first become evident for you, which hadn’t taken very long to happen, you’d second-guessed yourself almost immediately, which you were now ever more vexed by. You’d taken a couple minutes to think about what you could have possibly done wrong to make him radiate that kind of feeling, but you’d eventually come up with nothing that was bad enough to make him act like this.

Stealing a quick glance over at him as people continued to move all around you, you tried to guess what could have happened, and that’s when you let a bubble of concern move through you. It was wrong of you to immediately assume that his emotions must be based around you all the time, and you should have asked sooner if something had gone wrong in his day to upset his mood like this. Maybe you could’ve asked one of his group members when they’d been mulling around closer to you, but not many of them had seemed particularly lively either.

Hyuck kept his eyes focused forward, not sparing you even the smallest of looks as he seemed to be completely zoned out. A small burst of nerves was beginning to move through, much to your disappointment, as you knew already that you shouldn’t have anything to be nervous about around your own boyfriend. You tried to rationalise the strange, tense feeling in your gut to being simply because you were tired, you had been practicing all day and now you were growing sleepy and your mood was just deteriorating because of that. Some small voice in your brain was insistent that your logical answer wasn’t and couldn’t be the case, that because you had this weird pit opening up in your stomach you should back down from saying anything about Hyuck’s behaviour to him.

“Hyuck?” You questioned softly, turning your head to face him comfortably as you decided it was best to directly push back against the seemingly proof-less doubts in your mind. For a moment, he gave you no reaction, simply remaining with his eyes facing forward and blankly staring at a wall on the further side of the dinner hall. After a few beats of heavy silence – or as silent as you could get surrounded by other people having their own conversations – you heard him offer a short hum in response, making it sound more like a grunt of acknowledgement.

Clearing your throat, you began to wish that he’d at the very least look at you when you were trying to talk to him, “Are you okay?” You asked, keeping your voice soft so it wouldn’t disturb him too much.

He turned to look at you for an uncomfortable minute, his eyebrows rose and lips parted slightly as yet another sigh left his mouth. “What?” he asked, looking at you expectantly as you almost felt yourself flounder as his blunt response. He seemed to notice, or at least presume you didn’t understand his question, as he rephrased it only a moment later. “I didn’t hear what you said.”

Nodding, you felt one of your hands jump to reach out for your other, tangling around your digits as you twisted them to try and find a respite from the sudden anxiety buzzing through you. “I said,” you began, pausing as you realised your tone was harsher than you intended it to be, “uh, I said, are you okay?” You finished, trying to consciously soften to your tone as you spoke each word.

Hyuck simply gave you a curt nod, his lips closing into a tight line as he turned away from you again. His reaction, while you wanted to believe it was just because he was finding it hard to have a conversation in the chaos of the room, you just couldn’t make yourself accept that when you knew that there had to be more. You gently skimmed your hand along his arm, trying to catch his attention without calling out to him again. Feeling him tense underneath your fingertips, you pulled your hand away from him, waiting instead for him to turn his head towards you again. His vexation at whatever was bothering him had seemed to increased considerably, his eyes looking at you as if he was already bored by something you hadn’t even been given the chance to say yet.

You wanted to grow to match his annoyance, maybe even to go higher and become increasingly angered by how bluntly he had been treating you since he got here, without giving you any obvious reason for it. Instead, you found yourself falling into concern, worry for what had happened to make him act so blankly when he was usually so much more than this filtering through you no matter how much you protested.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” You asked, keeping your voice just even enough for it to be audible within the hall.

Some form of genuine emotion seemed to cross over his face then, but it wasn’t exactly what you had wanted or expected for him to feel in response to such a mundane question. His jaw seemed to tighten, his eyes flitting away from your own as he appeared incredibly flustered for a moment. You wanted to keep talking, to keep asking questions, to push him to give you answers to everything you wanted to let slip from your mouth in a jumble. You couldn’t tell whether all the things you wanted to know were just because of the curiosity lingering as his mood seemed to continue to worsen, or because of the deep-set concern that had decided to make itself prevalent inside of you.

No words had made their way past his lips yet, and he currently seemed intent on keeping it that way, much to you confusion. The situation in front of you was already turning into something you couldn’t fully grasp, your understanding of why you seemed to be catching the worst end of his mood completely escaping you. “Yes, I’m sure,” you heard Hyuck finally speak, the edge in his voice distracting you from where you’d been caught up in your spinning thought process, “I’m not a child, I know what I’m feeling.” He interrupted your thinking again, making you glance up at him with your eyebrows raised in confusion.

It was in the unusual moments where Hyuck seemed to be putting seriousness behind his quips that you wished you had the same talent for biting comments that he did. Instead, you found yourself without the right words to say in response to him growing impossibly defensive in the space of seconds. Clearing your throat in discomfort, you made sure you were still holding his eye contact before speaking, “You’re just,” you started again, stopping as you realised that making a spiteful comment wasn’t what needed to happen right in this moment.

Hyuck, however, seemed intent on you finishing your sentence; his eyebrows were rose and his lips had parted, as if he was preparing himself to argue back with whatever point you wanted to propose to him. “I’m just what?” He prompted, looking as if he had been caught somewhere between frustrated by your lack of retort and amused by the idea of you purposefully stopping the snide comment that was evidently lingering on the tip of your tongue.

Sighing, you played with the idea of actually saying something, of giving in to the fantasy of not thinking your words through before you said them as he seemed content to feed into the concept with you. “You’re just being a bit of a dick, is all,” you finalised, not being comfortable or angry enough to blatantly insult him, even if he was treating you wrong in the moment.

Hyuck rolled his eyes, looking away from you and scoffing before turning back, his eyes narrowed and sharper than they had been earlier. “And you don’t think to wonder why?” He bit back, letting the edge of his voice consume it entirely so he sounded intentional and broodier over the suggestion that just maybe he wasn’t acting like normal than he really was.

You didn’t know how to react to his words as he said them, unsure of whether you should recoil, run away from the situation and find a calmer respite until his mood died down, or whether you should spit something back, try and think of anything you could say that would make you feel justified. “Didn’t I already ask?” You bevelled your head at him, watching as his lips quirked upwards in a bitter smile as he scoffed louder than before. “Go on, then,” you began prompting, watching as he glanced back over to you with his jaw jutted upwards, “tell me what’s got you acting like a child.”

The last comment seemed to bite into him, his teeth scraping against one another as his mouth fell into a compressed line and he took a thick swallow. “Maybe if you weren’t so annoying, I wouldn’t need to dodge a million conversation I don’t wanna have every single day.” He threw out, letting his eyes leave yours as he finished speaking.

On one hand, the most self-doubting part of you latched onto what he’d said. Maybe you did talk too much, maybe you did ask too many unwanted questions, maybe you’d gotten boring and your conversations had grown stale to him. On the other, much stronger hand, you could feel the pit of irritation give way to a louder feeling, one that protested strongly against any hint of self-deprecation stemming from his words. You hadn’t done anything. If he didn’t want to waste his time talking to you, he shouldn’t feel the need to.

Mirroring his earlier reaction and rolling your eyes at him, you stood up straighter, the tightness and oddness of the fabric of your organised outfit all of sudden becoming prevalent, sliding itself to the forefront of your mind as you wished you could be at home, out of your dinner-party get-up and curled into the warm sheets of your bed. Your chest rose with a sharp intake of breath, your feet already taking the first step in your route away from Hyuck, unsure of what to do in the wake of such a minor and yet lingering argument.

His eyes didn’t leave your frame as your back turned to him, his voice finding itself entering the atmosphere before he fully thought through saying something coherent, “So, you’re just gonna walk away?” He prodded again, already being able to picture the image of distaste flashing against your features at his words.

“Yeah,” you responded tiredly, looking back over your shoulder at him for the briefest of moment, only enough to catch him moving to sigh for another painstaking time again. Your body felt heavy against you, as if it was purposefully slowing you down in your walk away from Hyuck and back towards your own group members in search of comfort.

///

After spending the last year of your life talking to one person, you suddenly felt consumed with the strangeness and detachment that came with being distanced from them. It didn’t seem to matter how much the desire to seek out Hyuck and get back onto a regular communication basis grew within you, some petty and childish need to not look like you needed him was constantly pressed to your chest. You hated that, you hated that you even felt it necessary to play games and go around in circles with him, but part of you didn’t want to accept the easier options in front of you.

Maybe your new-found bitterness was because you knew it wasn’t you who needed to apologise. It wasn’t your place to spew apologies and rush back to him because it hadn’t been you who pushed him away in the first place. Or maybe that was just a way to relinquish the growing feeling of doubt in your actions of ignoring him whenever he decided to finally get back in contact with you, and maybe it was in part to justify the slight bubble of irrational guilt that you could constantly feel following you around.

Keeping up to your schedules with this weight against you had been something of a challenge, but you knew in the long-run both the normality and joy that completing the consistent actions and tasks in your day-to-day would help get you back on track. On the days that strayed slightly from the general schedule you were used to, you’d begun to feel more flustered, more like the different variety shows and social media updates and photoshoots were being thrown at you even when you’d had a considerable amount of time to prepare yourself.

Or maybe it was just the action of not giving yourself time to stop and dwell over Hyuck when you were on variety shows that was becoming trickier the longer you avoided speaking with him. It was difficult; you’d often find your mind drifting off to him and before you could really think of anything else, you’d be blanking out from the rest of the show, feeling your chest shrink in on itself at the prospect of having to partake in games and questions while your mind continued to spin like it had been.

But if there was an aspect of your schedule you’d begun to resent and maybe even allow the build-up of anxiety become strong enough to let you debate faking sick and getting yourself out of it, it was being on the same variety show as Hyuck and his members. When you’d first had that you would have that opportunity with him, you’d both been irrationally happy, excited to share another experience together. Now that you weren’t talking to him at all, the idea of having to stand with him, his members and your own members and act as though nothing had changed sounded like torture. As sad as it was to try and imagine what was going through Hyuck’s mind in the moments since you’d left him at the dinner party, you assumed it would either be exactly the same as yours or a far duller version of it. Of course, you concluded that he wouldn’t particularly want to see you right now, but whether or not he’d be feeling anything other than distaste for being in your presence again so soon, you didn’t know.

When the day finally rolled around, you’d complained from the very moment your leader had pulled you from your bed, following you around as you were rushed along in your movements of getting ready. You hadn’t set an alarm, you recalled, namely because you hadn’t wanted to accept that waking up and actually going to see Hyuck when you were in this state with him was your reality. You’d protested as your manager ushered all of you into the van, chiding that you should have gotten ready quicker if you didn’t want to be rushed along, more complaints spilling from your lips as your members immediately jumped to their own defence, dropping you as the only one who was up and ready late.

Reaching the building, you turned to face your leader as you kept your arms firmly planted by your lap instead of moving to unclasp your seatbelt like everyone else had. “I’m not feeling well,” you whined, dropping your head back to fall against the head-rest as you earned a scoff in response.

“Oh, right, of course, I’m sure that’s it,” you heard the car door on your side slide open, and you cracked one of your eyes open to see your manager gesturing you out of the vehicle. You gripped onto the material of your seatbelt, tugging on it to show her that you couldn’t get out while it was still done up, hearing your leader laugh as the warmth of their frame disappeared from beside you.

Meanwhile, your manager tipped her head at you and pouted her bottom lip out in mock sympathy, making you groan in retaliation, earning a chuckle as the sensation of your seatbelt locked around you left you, seeing your manager retracting her hands just as you opened your eyes again. “Do I have to?” You asked quietly, swinging one leg to hover above the concrete below you while the other remained inside the car. Laughing softly at your childish protests, your manager nodded, moving out of the way to give you space to finally reach the outside of the building you’d be filming in, hearing your members cheer when they saw your form finally exit the security of the car.

Huffing, you paced over to them, following everyone else inside, glancing around quickly to try and guess whether Hyuck had arrived yet. You concluded that they had the second you got inside the building, hearing a flurry of male voices already talking with one another in a mix of volumes and languages, doing little to surprise you in the context. Turning the corner to the room directly before the filming studio, you bit back another dramatic sigh before it had the chance to pass your lips when you caught sight of Hyuck.

Giving him a once over, it was hard to notice any signal to indicate whether or not he’d struggled over the week to get over the what should have remained a minuscule argument with you. Although, you supposed, if anyone had taken one look at you and been told to guess whether or not you’d been having a good week, they wouldn’t really think twice about assuming you had. Part of you felt vindictive and wrong for hoping his week had been at the very least a little off, a little discomforting and stressful as he came to realise just how badly he’d treated you that night. Being as dramatic as you were lately made you feel even more childish for storming away from him that night instead of staying and trying to fix it properly instead of letting him provoke you.

Feeling a hand curl around your wrist lightly and beginning dragging you forward brought you back into the same room as everyone else. The notion of being on camera right now was making your stomach turn in flips, worry causing your hands to tug away from your member’s and tangle with your other one again. The room appeared brighter than all the others, and you suddenly regretted not clamping your eyes shut the second you’d walked in the room instead of letting yourself follow Hyuck along in his movements to get into position before the camera’s were turned on.

One of the hosts paced quickly towards Hyuck’s general area, peaking your attention as you stared over at them unabashedly, no particular concern for him seeing you looking in his direction, almost hoping he would so you’d give him an excuse to come over and talk to you. You glanced over his outfit, noting that he’d picked it himself and that it looked good and well-fitted on him, fighting the urge to want to pick an argument with him purely because he looked nice on a day when you were supposed to still be angry with him. Catching sight of him and the few of his members closest to where he stood glancing over at you, you felt a sudden wave of unsureness, shifting on the balls of your feet as you dropped eye contact with Hyuck as soon as you were sure his head drifted to yours.

Sparing a cautious glance back, you saw the host chuckling softly, gesturing you over to them with a welcoming grin on his face. Clearing your throat to yourself in preparation of introducing yourself, you began to walk forward, biting back the nervous urge to look at Hyuck for encouragement as you did so. It had become a habit, letting your eyes flit to his and watch as he’d offer you the brightest of grins and mouth something supportive to you whenever you did anything he knew you would be unsettled about. Maybe he was like that because he’d been an idol longer than you, or maybe Hyuck was overall just more confident in these areas than you, but you fought back the want to do so anyway.

The host offered you an even wider grin as you finally reached them, allowing your eyes to shift up from the floor, “So,” he was already starting to speak, catching you significantly off-guard as you jolted a little at the volume of his voice, “we were just thinking, since it’s your first variety show together, you and Haechan should be closer to one another during the filming, right?” He suggested, looking between the two of you as you attempted to guess what Hyuck would have said in response. Would he have refused, and now you were going to agree and look silly? Or would he have agreed, and now you were going to refuse and look rude? Your brain hurt to try and picture the things that went on in Hyuck’s mind, knowing already you didn’t really have a chance.

“I said I thought that’d be pretty cool,” you heard Hyuck interrupt, “don’t you think, ___?” He offered you the prompt, clearly having noticed you were floundering to figure something out. You wanted to be annoyed with yourself, irritated that you’d needed his help already today, but part of his statement gave you a glimmer of hope, that maybe you’d imagined the whole argument by yourself and it had just never happened in the first place.

Nodding, you found the confidence within you to verbalise something before the air could grow thick with awkwardness, “Yeah, that sounds…that sounds like it’ll be nice.”

A flurry of noise and movement suddenly smacked you in the face, feeling yourself being tugged and adjusted into a position closer to Hyuck that still made you look good in the lighting. Once you’d finally been twisted into the correct positioning, more people began buzzing both around you and around the people around you. The sheer amount of movement around you made your head spin as you tried to catch some parts of it instead of letting yourself look at Hyuck until you absolutely had to.

The feeling of his fingertips skimming along the skin of your hand made you jump slightly, eyes glancing over at him with confusion glazing over your features, only earning a sheepish smile in response. He leaned to be closer to you, lowering his voice to a hushed whisper so you’d know his words were only meant for you to hear, “Are you okay?”

The reminiscence of your own question from that earlier night caught you, and while you wanted to turn away from him and be offended that he’d bring up something like that as a joke that he was evidently comfortable just laughing at, you couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled up your throat. Sighing, you opened your palm up to let his hand slip into your own properly, moving your free-hand to rub over your face before remembering the make-up that had been done earlier in the day, your hand stilling just as it reached your skin and then dropping back down to your side. Hyuck let out an amused giggle, watching as you hummed in mock thought before offering him your own rendition of his curt nod, making his laughter raise in volume.

“Hey,” you heard him speak softly, keeping his voice hushed so only you’d hear him, “I really do wanna say that I’m sorry for being such a dick.”

You laughed, nodding at him as he spoke, “I guess I’m sorry for overreacting, too.”

Humming, Hyuck shrugged at you, “I’m not so sure you did, to be honest,” he cleared his throat quickly and then breathed in deeply through his nose, “anyway, that’s not the point, I had something to say.” You bit back at laugh again, closing your lips into a line to fight off the urge to let it bubble past your lips. “I know it’s not an excuse,” he began, peaking your interest further than it already was, “but I was just, I was so tired, and then we had the dinner party and there was so much talking and I wanted to be at home, I really just wanted to be at home and asleep.” He finished, not purposefully dropping his eye contact but letting his eyes wander to the blank room around him as he spoke cautiously.

Tracing a small heart onto the skin of his hand, you watched his lips quirk upwards in a soft smile before you began talking. “I understand, I wanted to go home, too,” you started, “I’m just glad to know you weren’t actually mad at me for something,” you laughed softly.

His eyebrows furrowed as he shook his head before you even finished your sentence, “I could never,” he joked, nudging you with his shoulder before he pressed the briefest of kisses to your temple, “I’m sorry I made you feel that way, though, seriously.”

Smiling up at him, you tried to ignore the way a laugh almost past his lips when you jumped at the surprise of hearing the hosts begin shouting about the camera’s, ‘rolling very soon!’ Hyuck tightened his grip on your hand, “Now,” he began again, and as you looked at him you saw the way the lights in the room made his skin look like it was glowing, “smile and act like everything’s been completely normal for the last week, hm? No more talking about arguments or else they’ll figure out that we do really hate one another.”

Humming in agreement, you straightened your back in order to seem more confident and prepared for the camera’s turning on, turning your head slightly to see Hyuck peaking down at you as you grinned at him, “Bet you a meal that I can look more in love with you than you do with me?” You suggested, watching as his lips curled upwards again.

“You make all these bets and yet you always end up regretting them when I win,” Hyuck sighed in mock disappointment, quieting his laugh after you shoved him away from you lightly with the back of his hand when the hosts announced the camera’s were about to be turned on.