#hghghg I love writing Crow

[fallens-art]

Sucking up confidence and putting the first writing I ever did of my Guardian (Sandy) x Crow because I am, such a self shipper.

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I. Warm words

Warnings/Spoilers: First sever mission mentioned

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The man who killed Cayde returned, and the man who she killed with Ace came back.

Though how could she say that? Crow was not Uldren, and Uldren was not Crow. A shared body does not make one of them the other, Crow was a guardian, like her. If anything, she wasn't sure she was the greatest person in her other life either, even with having some memories of it. She also knew what it was like to be ridiculed and looked down upon, even if you knew nothing of what was wrong. 

So, this wolf, with teeth grinned to a smile, opened up her arms to this shaken bird. She would not devour him, instead, she would be there for him, as others were for her. 

Crow did not feel like he deserved the mercy, or kindness of the Guardian that he caused so much pain to, and the reminder of that Ace of Spades upon her waist every time she greeted him only made that guilt worse.

Savathun made him remember, and he had never felt the same since. He felt the guilt and the anger and the feeling of being afraid clipped into his mind like a movie reel, over and over. When he saw people stare at him after finding out who he was, it burned a deep sadness within him. 

Cursing Saladin to the war table was the worst thing he felt like he could've done, and then the nightmare that followed him, whispering the words that hurt the most in his ear. 

He didn't deserve mercy or kindness, yet this Guardian still showed it to him. 

"Stop brooding, it's bad for your image." Her tone cut straight through his thoughts as Crow turned to that Guardian in question. 

"Sandy I'm sorry- I was busy.."

"In your thoughts? I could tell." Sandy brushed a strand of hair away from his eyes, "Ever thought of clipping your hair? Wouldn't be a danger of it getting in your eyes then." 

Crow felt a small smile rise on his face as he shook his head. 

"No, I do not. I don't think it would suit me anyhow."  He shifted against the wall.

"Maybe it will, you never know." She smiles, before it slowly turns into an expression more serious, more sad. "Crow...the...severing, it was hard on you. I'm sorry. I know- I know you said earlier to not tell you that it's not your fault but, you and...Uldren- you are not the same." 

Crow saw how she faltered in saying his old name. She was uncomfortable with the thought. 

"I've already explained it." 

"I know!" She took a sharp breath in, mumbling a small sorry before continuing, "but I used to feel like that too and...you've proven to me that you do have a heart full of good. You are just, not experienced and you are learning." 

He furrowed his brows as he crossed his arms, "A good heart? Sandy, you know- what I, Uldren- Crow, is capable of."

"Stop comparing yourself to him. You are not and never will be Uldren." Sandy prods her finger at his chest, a sudden intensity in her movements as she tries to get the point across. "You are Crow, a kind-hearted man who wants to do good, to make up for what a ghost of him has done. A man that Saladin was okay with covering up the punishment for you. You are a man who I see as strong, a guardian that I know will be a very very good hunter. Last of all, you are important to me. Do not forget that." 

He blinked, unsure of what to make of what she just said. 

Sandy just smiles once more, and Crow watches as her eyes gleam with a soft golden glow, one that he saw time and time again whenever she truly meant something. 

"So don't flake out on ramen dinner again, I missed you last time. No going against your nightmare before dinner."

Crow cracks a smile once again, despite his sadness and uncertainty, he was willing to trust some of the words she had given to him in that small hall in the H.E.L.M. 

And he won't miss out on dinner again.