#hftnc vibes

[closetoyou1970]

soft destiel tenets to me are like. sometimes even troubled or difficult people may mutually care about each other in a way that has the potential to be pleasant (despite, despite, despite). being born to be an exploitable and/or purely mechanical resource doesn't mean that you are going to live that way forever. you may at some point be able to take pleasure in your body despite all deliberate socialization to the contrary. etc.

[princesssmars]

lately, mike has been giving himself the time to miss the little things.

he misses his neighbors dog that bit his arm in the seventh grade, a sweet irish wolfhound that he’d admittedly been getting too rowdy with and would beg the owners not to convince to put down. the bite hurt like a bitch but it got girls to fawn over him for a month.

he misses the first mountain bike his dad got him. it was green and insanely fast, and he can’t even count how many times he fell off of his ass because of it. but his dad would convince him to get back up every time, encouraging him to never stay down when a problem knocked him off of his feet. after two years he was biking with his dad up the local mountain, face nearly breaking from the smile he had every time.

he misses his playstation two that he had to promise his mom he wouldn’t play any “inappropriate” games on. she insisted she and his father wouldn’t buy him any violent games, but they never said anything about his friends. everyday he would thank god that josh was an undercover rich and would sneak in the newest games for them to play until the early hours of the morning each sleepover.

he misses josh. his weird loud laugh. his lucky sneakers that he’d wear for days straight. how he let mike cheat off of his homework when he forgot to do it because he was out with a girl. how he told him he was like the brother he never had. those silly and half serious talks they’d have about the future near the end of their senior year. how he was never afraid to pull him into a hug.

he thinks about his own hugs now, being told by his college friends that they’re tighter and and more gripping. he laughs it off, playing it off as his new workout routine affecting his arms or whatever.

he thinks about how his friends from the lodge go silent once he says it, and always hug him even tighter.

[closetoyou1970]

the thing is that I think that even jaded mean old late-seasons dean has a real capacity for growth and recovery. while he's alive. and I want that for him.

[closetoyou1970]

stream for night beach vibes.