#hey siri how do i stop turning into the worlds biggest bitch every time i’m overstimulated
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it’s a shame that i think Spotify’s already stopped collecting this year’s data bc if i’d found this song earlier i just know it would’ve easily made my top 100
#Seven.txt#music stuff#Seven’s Public Diary#vent#vent post#whoops this turned into a vent#cw caps#you ain’t who you were and i ain’t either.#SOMEONE IN THIS ROOM IS SOMEONE’S BAD DECISION#SOMEONE’S TOO FUCKED UP TO LEAVE THE KITCHEN#SOMEONE IS THE MARTYR TO SOMEONE’S BAD RELIGION#AND SOMEONE’S DRAGGIN’ SOMEONE RIGHT DOWN WITH ‘EM#i used to know who was who#now i’m just someone in this room#/lyrics#anyways now if you’ll excuse me. i’ll be playing this on loop and loudly sobbing for the next�� forever.#it Instantly went on my defining playlist when i found it the other night. very few songs have that kinda impact on me#i’m trying so so so hard to keep myself from turning into him#but she keeps pointing it out. and she’s right. i’m becoming just like him. well. except i’m sober. so there’s that at least#if i’m this mean sober i’d hate to see myself drunk these days. jesus christ what kinda hell lives within me#i don’t want to be mean. i really don’t. but as Soon as i get overwhelmed that goes flying out the fucking window#and i act just like him. then i feel so bad and take it out on myself but that’s not helping in the long run#hey siri how do i stop turning into the worlds biggest bitch every time i’m overstimulated#i Sound like him too. i’m picking up his vocabulary and speech patterns and everything. god. i don’t want this#i’ve always understood why they worry about how i’d turn out given the genetics but. God. it’s getting worse than i feared#and i can’t even be honest about it! gotta keep up appearances!!! gotta act normal!!!!!!!#sigh. at least i can find solace in the reminder that it all ends with me. this name. this bloodline. the generations of trauma and abuse.#it ends with me. no more. if i don’t do anything else i can at least say i did that.#Spotify
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