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zankivich · 5 years ago

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The Arrangement: CEO’s Son/Dom!Shawn x Black Sub Reader Chapter 10

*y/n’s point of view*

The VMAs are important. Important because it’s the launching pad for the rest of awards season. Important because, despite the lack of legitimacy of the show anymore, the general public still tuned in. It was a valuable opportunity to get your artist where they wanted to go. And the VMAs was Normani’s night to make it or break it, which meant it was your night to make it or break it. Everyone was tuning in to see what would happen. Which meant it was a stressful time in your life, one that needed care and precision. So you thought that maybe...maybe there was a way you could take the edge off a little bit.

It’s a Saturday, the week before the show, and Shawn and you had somehow managed to not leave the bed all day. Not even just for sex, though there had been that too, but really just to cuddle and enjoy each other’s company. And so in the time when your head is on his chest and his fingers are drawing shapes in the small of your back, you figure now is as good a time as any.

“Can I ask you somethin’?” you mumble interrupting whatever movie you were watching at the time.

He hummed in agreement. “‘Course.”

“Do you wanna go to the VMAs together?”

“Who, me?”

He leaned up in bed enough to nearly dislodge you from his chest while he went to reach for the remote to pause your movie. Rude.

You rolled your eyes. “It’s not a big deal. Just figured, we’d both be going anyway. Might as well save the planet a little gas.”

He peered down at you with gentle eyes that had you feeling much softer than you should in that moment. Damn him.

“Yea, you just asked me to be your date to a televised award show. Where everyone would see, but no big deal.”

“Well...it’s not like people don’t know right?” You mumbled not making eye contact.

Shawn reached for your chin, tugging your face close so that your eye met again.

“Who, sweetheart? Tiana knows. Brian knows. But we spend most of our time in your apartment or mine. When we do go out, we’re not exactly going where the industry folks go now are we? I don’t mind. There’s nothing I’d love more than to be with you in the public eye, but I--I gotta admit this is a little surprising coming from you.”

“How come?” You asked stubbornly.

“Well...maybe because you seem to think about my dad more than I do?” He admitted softly. “And maybe because--and I’m just guessing here--I think you might be a bit afraid to be seen with me in public.”

That locks you up.

Shawn had a way of knowing you that didn’t quite seem fair. All of your life you had very specific, intentional relationships with people. They knew what you wanted them to know. Nothing more, nothing less. It had never worked that way with him. He seemed to find meaning in every silence that you shared. And that was good! It was good that he could see you and that he cared enough to want to see you. But, it was also incredibly scary. Because it meant you no longer got to hide.

“I...I--I’m not afraid to be seen with you in public, Shawn.”

He smiled sheepishly and tapped your cheek.

“Hey, it’s okay. I--I get it. I understand. You’re important, y/n. Your career is everything to you. I know what it would like to be paired with me.”

It was like reverse psychology or something. Every time he voiced the very things that you had thought before, they sounded ridiculous. What kind of a grown woman wouldn’t be caught in public with her significant other. What kind of bullshit was that? Goddammit.

“This is stupid! We can go to the other fucking awards in the same car, Shawn. It’s no big deal. Why are you making it something bigger than it is?”

Shawn could tell that you were getting annoyed and fidgety so he reached for your hands and placed them against his chest. It seemed to calm you when you could feel his heartbeat beneath your palms. So sappy.

“I’m not. If you want me to be your date, I’m happy to. You just tell me what you need and I’ll do it. Okay?”

He’s so soft and so kind that the anger just leaves you immediately. It’s incredible. And annoying.

You poke at his cheek. “You annoy me when you’re kind.”

“I annoy you?” He chuckled. “How come?”

“Cause I can’t be angry at you with your dumb doe eyes and this chin and your big ass head. I’m gonna be stressed out of my ass that night. And I--I want to be able to find you when I need you. And I’m gonna need you.” You admitted.

His eyes somehow get even softer. His arms wrapped around your waist and he pulled you even closer than before.

“Then I’ll be there.” He said. “It’s that simple.”

***

*Shawn’s point of view*

She’s beautiful even when she’s scary. Sometimes because she’s scary. That night is the night where the two come together at their strongest points. They’ve got her in a dress that makes his heart skip a beat. It’s a black, skin-tight, velvet number and her braids are in again. Jesus. But she’s also been screaming into her phone for the past twenty minutes, and she’s definitely threatened to take some really important body parts at least three times now. He grips his dick in his slacks a little bit just in sympathy alone.

It was just him and Tiana waiting with her, so when she got off the phone and started rubbing at her temples, someone had to make a move. At this point it was second nature to him. To support her. To be there for her. To ease her mind a little bit. So, when he marches over and cups her face in his hands, holds her close, and kisses her, it doesn’t even register that it’s the quietest the room has been all day. He just waits to feel her shoulders unlock, and waits for that sigh that lets her mouth open enough for his tongue to slip inside. It’s when her body is soft and pliant in his hands, that he knows she’ll be okay. And that’s all that matters to him.

“Okay?” He whispered after pulling away, his thumb still easing at the tension in her neck.

She nodded softly. “O--Okay.”

“Good. We ready to go?” He smiled.

There was a moment when Tiana and y/n make eye contact, and it must be a sort of mind reading of best friends, because he certainly had no idea what either of them was talking about. Or not talking about for that matter. But that didn’t stop Tiana from laughing and it didn’t stop y/n from throwing her hands up and swatting at her best friend.

“Leave me alone, Ti!” She muttered marching for the door.

What a night it was sure to be.

They drove to the awards together. Tiana was in the front seat managing all of the artists that were meant to be on the carpet. Y/n was in the back beside him making sure that every performance was set and ready to go. And unfortunately there he was, also on the phone, making sure that his father’s latest PR stunt went off without a hitch. It meant there was no time to kiss her, or whisper in her ear how pretty she looked in that dress, or all the things he planned to do when he got her out of it later. What he did get? Was to hold her hand. And honestly having her squeeze around his fingers every time she was anxious or stressed or pissed? Was the best part of the ride.

The car pulled to a final stop in front of the venue, and Tiana was already out of the car. Y/n finally stopped to put her phone away and turned to him. For a moment, it was just the two of them. Nothing else. No one else.

“So uh...I’ll go with Normani and my people and you’ll go with your people but we’ll sit together. Both Normani and Sarah will be in the front row anyway so it shouldn’t be weird that we’re near each other. We--We obviously can’t…”

He reached for her palm, threading their fingers together so that she might relax for just a moment.

“Hey. You don’t need to explain to me okay? I understand. I’ll be on my best behavior. I know I might not look like it, but I can be professional.” He smiled playfully. “What I do backstage might just be a different story.”

It gets her to smile and to breathe, and thus it’s worth it immediately. She leans her forehead against his and sighs.

“I just wanna be with you. I don’t wanna do anything else.” She mumbled.

“Same.”

“I hate that it matters. That us being together would upset people.”

“I know, honey.” He sighed and tucked a loose braid behind her ear. “If is makes you feel any better, I think it would give my dad a heart attack. It might actually put him in the grave.”

“Hmmm...good to know. Guess we should get going then huh?”

“Hey, hey. Not quite. Gotta get my goodbye kiss first, right?”

The taste of her smile is enough to get him through the red carpet.

Sarah Leone and Ty Summers have a staged run in on the red carpet. Someone had decided that them arriving separately would only heighten excitement. So, here he was following a teenager around while she got a crack at the dream he’d never know. It was really like his own personal hell on earth.

They meet up and don’t kiss. But they do hug and they do whisper in each other’s ear. It’s word for word from the write up sitting in a binder on his office desk. They’re the most talked about couple there that night, and they’re not even confirmed yet. Jesus.

He’s on the cusp of gagging when his phone vibrates in his pocket.

y/n: try to smile tonight.I know it hurts more than you let on, but you’ll get through it. And I’ll be there too.

He paused in the middle of the carpet, no longer following the herd of people trying to keep his father’s new artist relevant. He read it again. And then again. And then one more time. He could imagine that she was somewhere running around like a chicken with its head cut off. He knew that there had to be a million things on her mind that night, and surely he shouldn’t be at the top of the list. That was natural and understandable. Yet, somehow she found a way to make him feel like he mattered. That the bullshit in front of him was indeed that, even if the public was eating it up, even if it was making everyone around him more money by the second. It did hurt. But he never had to say it, or even allude to it, because she already knew. Of course she already knew. And he loved that about her. He loved her...

Shawn: Thank you. That means more than you could know.

Shawn: I need to see you. When can I see you?

Y/n: I’m backstage already. Not until showtime. Are you okay?

Shawn: Yes. Just miss you. I’ll see you soon.

He was a bit of an impulsive person. It usually worked out for him in the end. When he saw something that he wanted, he never stopped to let himself get in his own head. Instead, he went after it, whatever it was. It was usually the best for song writing too. When he felt something, he felt it so much. And with her? Everything felt like the most important thing. Especially the realization that he was in love with her. Especially that. So once he knew, he wanted her to know; it only seemed right.

And so he floated through the rest of the carpet. Nothing mattered when she was on his mind. He might as well have been back at her apartment playing guitar while she cooked some incredible thing that he couldn’t even dream of creating. It was his happy place and there he stayed until he got to see her again.

***

*Y/n’s point of view*

“You’re fucking stunning. You are incredible. You are an icon. You are Black and beautiful and bold. Let them know okay? And I’ll be out there repping regardless!”

Normani nodded, eyes wet but not willing to let any tears fall that might fuck up her makeup. This was her moment more than it was yours. You’d done all the work in the world to let this moment matter for her. And now she just had to go out there and do it. There was nothing else you could do. You hugged her and let Tiana lead you from the back and towards the crowd. The lights are hot and there’s cameras everywhere and everyone looks like they’re uncomfortable in whatever outfits they’re in. You stop to kiss Lady Gaga on the cheek, shake hands with one of the Migos, and give little Nas X a kiss cause that was your baby.

At the row where your seat was located, he was sitting there. His suit that night was a deep green and it looked so good on him that you couldn't wait to get him out of it. His thighs were spread wide with no one sitting around him and he was jittering his knees up and down. He went to run his fingers through his hair causing him to finally look up and see you, and he was out of his seat before you could even blink.

“Hi.” He murmured reaching for you without thought.

His eyes widened and he went to pull away as he realized how public it was, but you couldn’t handle another second of being away from him, so you reached to pull him closer in the hopes that a huge might not be too much.

“Hi.” You leaned up on your heels to whisper in his ear. “Missed you.”

“Yea. Same. Look I uh--I need to tell you something.”

“Are y’all gone stand here all night blocking the way, or can I sit down sometime soon?” Tiana interrupted.

You rolled your eyes at her but moved to let her slip into her seat. Shawn and you quickly took your seats, his arm coming to rest naturally behind your chair as he leaned to whisper in your ear.

“I’ve got something I need to say.”

You turned to him.

“Well, okay. What is it? Is everything alright?”

“Yea. Yea, everything’s fine I just… I think that I--”

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, COMMERCIAL BREAK IS OVER IN TEN PLEASE MAKE YOUR WAY BACK TO YOUR SEATS!”

“Oh shit, babe Normani is up next!” You squealed turning to face the stage again.

“Y/n I have to--”

“After the performance okay? I promise!”

She fucking KILLS. She locks in and she leaves it all out on the floor. Her early 2000 era pop/r&b vibe connects with the crowd immediately. And it’s your job to make sure as much. You notice the way they engage. The clapping. The dancing. The way the cameras follow her, but also the way that they follow the crowd. It’s everything you had expected. It’s flawless.

And at the end of the performance the banner goes up on the screen announcing her solo album dropping that night. It’s the only album drop of the evening, you’d made sure of that as well. It’s perfect. Tiana is already beside you watching engagement. Normani shoots to the top of the twitter trend list. Before the camera even moves to capture the next award, Normani is the most talked about thing of the VMAs. It was all worth it. Just like that. The win for best R&B is simply the icing on top.

You hug Tiana and let her wipe at the tears that had begun to rim at your eyes, so that it didn’t fuck up your makeup. Each of you know that it means something different. She wasn’t just performing for herself that night. She was performing for the world to “get it” in a way that Black women often have to fight for. Normani and her music and her hue and her femininity and her sexuality. All of it would always require a justification that her counterparts, even her former bandmates, would never be asked to give. This was the reason you had fought to sign her after all. Who better to navigate the racist bullshit of the world and the industry, then another black woman? Only you could have given her that.

When you turn back to Shawn his arms are already open for you to step into. He wraps himself around you and you, him. Maybe another tear finds its way into the fabric of his suit, but who’s to say?

“I’m so proud of you.” He whispered in your ear squeezing at your hips.

“It was her. Did you see her?! That was all her.”

He shook his head. “It was you too. You’re just amazing.”

“Thank you. Shit. Wow. Oh my god, what was it you were gonna say to me earlier?”

“It can wait. Don’t even worry about it.”

“Are you sure?”

He reached and gripped your chin softly before pressing a kiss to your cheek. It was so soft you nearly died.

“Positive. Go celebrate.”

***

The afterparty was in full swing when he tugged you towards the dance floor. Daniel Cesar was performing and Shawn’s hands were on your hips. You were high on life and on the feeling of his touch and Blackness. Always Blackness. You wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned your head on his chest, cheek soaking up the heat of his body. It was less public then the award show and more intimate, so you didn’t mind when his fingers dipped down to your ass a little bit, don’t mind when his nose skims your neck and his fingers dig life into you.

“How are you feeling?” He asked twirling you gently.

“I’m feeling happy. Like the happiest I’ve ever felt I think? Is that weird?”

He smiled and ran his hands soothingly up and down your back.

“I don’t think so. I love that you’re happy. I’m happy too.”

“You are?” You asked leaning off of his chest to peer up at him. “That whole pr thing didn’t get you down?”

“It was starting to and then this really beautiful woman texted me that I should calm the hell down. And so I did.” He grinned.

“Beautiful? I heard stunning was more like it.” You laughed

“You’re right. Stunning is much more accurate.”

His eyes followed you intensely with every move that you made. Intense wasn’t the right word. Maybe it was fondness. Like looking at you was enough to make him happy. How wild was that?

“I wanna tell you something.” He murmured. “I’ve been meaning to tell you all night actually.”

“Yea? What’s that?”

He sent your body around for another spin and then pulled you close so that your chests touched.

“I love you.” He whispered in your ear.

Your heels froze pulling your body to a grinding halt. He peered down at you inquisitively again, hands still holding you close.

“Is that okay? Can I...Can I say that? Shit should I not have said that? I shouldn’t have said that.”

He pulled his hands from around you and swept nervously through his curls. His eyes were still kind even when they were frantic. For a second you couldn’t believe that this was the same person you’d met that night all those months ago. You couldn’t believe he, of all people, was standing here telling you that he loves you. But he was. And he did. And somehow, somehow you did too.

“Y/n, I--I’m so sorry. I’ve just never done this before and I thought that--that I should tell you how I feel about you. That you deserve to know that you know? You don’t have to say it back at all I just...I wanted you to know. Cause I felt it, and that means something ya know?” He rambled.

“I love you too.”

His eyes widened. “You do?”

“Well don’t sound so fucking shocked about it. What’s not to love?”

He burst out into a grin and reached for you again, lifting your toes just barely off of the ground as he swept you around the room again. His lips found yours and he smiled even there. How dare he be so sweet.

“You’re gonna give me a heart attack one day you know that?” He sighed.

You kissed gently at his cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“That makes me so happy.I love you.”

“I love you!”

You dance for the rest of the night and you kiss and you make each other laugh and you get way too drunk at the open bar. But it’s good. You’re not thinking about the next thing on your plate. He’s not thinking about his job, or his dad. It’s just the two of you against the world. And you were really starting to like those odds.

***

“What did they fucking super glue you into this thing?!”

After three minutes of hot and heavy kissing, you’d finally begun to notice that Shawn was not making as quick work of your dress as he usually did. He flipped you over onto his bed and begun to work on your zipper in hopes of sometime that night actually having sex with you.

“I believe in you, sweetheart. You can get it.” You encouraged.

It was in the middle of Shawn fingers trying to undo said dress that you spotted the book on his bedside table. You didn’t think anything of it at first, just let your eyes skim the spine of the book in interest. When it clicked, it clicked, and your heart sort of stopped just as he accidently ripped your givenchy dress.

“Holy shit I’m sorry. I’ll buy you a new dress. Like tomorrow. First thing, I promise!”

Your mind; however, was focused on other things.

“Are you...Are you reading White Fragility?” You mumbled.

“Yea. I did some digging on white people for black live matters? They have like a book club or something, and this one was at the top of the list along with The New Jim Crow by uh Michelle Alexander I think her name was?”

You rolled over onto your back to see your curly hair doe-eyed boyfriend who had somehow found the time to start reading about white supremacy behind your back.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“I’m sorry, you thought you would just mention white people for black lives matter, and we would, what? Continue with the night? I would let you cum in me or something?”

Shawn shrugged. “Well...I don’t necessarily need to cum inside you, though it’s kind of my favorite way to end the night. But...Yes? No? I’m not sure what answer you’re looking for.”

“You’re learning.” You mumbled in confusion. “W--Why?”

He leaned up so that his body was no longer poised over yours, hands dipping awkwardly into his pockets.

“Because it matters to you. So, it matters to me. Also I’m learning that it’s supposed to matter to everyone. White people just suck”

You followed him unconsciously body leaning up off the bed to reach for him. Your hands skim his thighs and settle around his waist. You’re at a loss for words, and that is completely and utterly new. The softness in his eyes tells you that he’s nervous, that he’s so much more concerned with making you happy than you even thought imaginable.

He cups your cheek gently peering down at you from above.

“Is that okay? Did I--did I fuck it up somehow?” He whispered.

You smiled. You beamed. You practically cried.

“No. Not at all. You did good.” You assured him.

He reached down gently to taste the smile on your lips. Your broken zipper left the thin straps of your dress falling off your shoulders as he led you gently back against the sheets. It’s a lot long of just kissing. Of just touching. Of just loving. It’s perhaps the first time in your life where you don’t feel the need to give so much, because he’s right there to take care of you already. You’re not alone anymore. He wouldn’t dream of having you be alone.

“Wanna take care of you.” He hummed against your throat, lips gentle and soft.

You sighed softly, thighs bracketing his hips as he pushed down searchingly against your heat.

“Please.” You begged. “Take care of me.”

“Always.”

***

*Shawn’s point of view*

She invited him to the studio. Something about working late, and if he wanted to “maybe spend some time together” he was welcome to come. But even he wasn’t that naive. She’s inviting him to the studio where Khalid is recording, and it’s definitely going to blow his mind. But, he packs up from work and nearly bolts his way to her. It’s a super famous studio in the heart of the city. Everyone from Gaga to Elton John to Prince had recorded there at some point. It’s a beautiful place of beautiful, rich history. He’d been there once before with his dad, but never had he gotten the chance to sit on an actual session before. When she meets him outside so that security doesn’t turn him away, he’s perhaps a little too excited if her eyes are anything to go off.

“Hi!” He exclaimed, wrapping her up in his arms immediately.

She chuckled. “Someone is happy to see me. Or is the studio you’re happy to see?”

He rolled his eyes and tugged playfully at one of her curls which were down for once in a blue moon.

“It’s you. Always you...I’m just happy to see you in the studio.” He grinned.

“Yea, yea, yea. Just be cool white boy, we do things a little differently then Mendes industries.”

She surely wasn’t fucking joking.

The room is completely dark except for blue lights and candles. It’s not full to the brim of people, like some other sessions he’d sat it on in the past. In fact it seems like it’s just the producer and Khalid. When she pulls him into the room there’s a thin veil of weed smoke that gets thicker where Khalid and the producer were passing a blunt back and forth. When y/n walks into the room the affection and the respect is clear. He wraps his arms around her waist from where he’s sitting in the chair and smiles up at her and she pats lovingly at his hair. They look more like siblings then they do client and manager. It’s unlike anything he’d ever seen at his dad’s company.

“Stop smoking and come say hi to Shawn, big head.” She smirked hugging him back.

Needless to say he felt a bit out of his element, until he met him of course.

Khalid was kind of like a teddy bear. A big, soft, shy teddy bear. His voice was just as soothing when he spoke as when he sang and he didn’t seem to care about how you viewed him at all. He’d never met anyone that was just so effortlessly cool, immediately.

“You must be something special. She never brings nobody to the studio.” Khalid smirked at y/n who immediately flicked him upside the head.

“And I never will again if you don’t behave. I thought you wanted to get the track finished today? The only thing finished around here is that blunt and my patience. Come on.”

He laughed and made a quick bowing motion with his hands towards her before making his way back into the booth. She lead him to the couch and the producer set him up to record the next verse. One second he’s just sitting there holding his girlfriend’s hand watching her do her job, and the next he’s immediately transfixed. Khalid sang with his eyes closed and you could just feel the way that he felt the music. Every note was this beautiful little soundwave and it drove him absolutely crazy to watch the perfection happen.

The verse ends and his heart just sort of deflates the second no more singing is happening. His fingers immediately began to tingle and his feet wouldn’t sit still. He was just aching to create.

“You like?” She hummed running her fingers through the curls at the back of his head.

He just sort of beamed at her softly and cuddled himself deeper against her side.

“So much. This is my favorite part of it all, ya know?” He sighed. “The making something out of nothing. I love it.”

“Yea? You wanna get in the booth?”

His eyebrows shot up on his forehead as he froze in front of her.

“What? Like in front of Khalid? No! Are you kidding?”

She snickered. “Shawn look at you blushing like a school girl!”

“It’s not funny, y/n. Stop.” He hissed.

“I’ve never seen you like this.” She giggled. “This is comical.”

“Stop it.” He whined. “I’m delicate.”

“You sure are, my love.”

Khalid comes back out again to listen to the playback. There’s a note in the second half of the verse that doesn’t fit right. The producer recommends that Khalid does some falsetto work. He squirms in his seat at the suggestion. It’s not that it’s the worst idea in the world. It’s just that it’s the worst idea in the world. His girlfriend watches him for a few more seconds before pressing a kiss to his cheek and standing up.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom. You try not to explode there, big guy.” She giggled.

*15 minutes later*

*y/n’s point of view*

You open the door and it is almost comical how much weed smoke pours out in front of you. It only takes one look toward the mixing console to see that your plan had worked ridiculously well. Your boyfriend was leaning with his long ass legs crossed over one another with a blunt in one hand and the other making wild gestures in the air as he spoke to Khalid and the producer, Mike, like some hippie professor in the classroom.

“I’m serious. The whole thing is a build right? You’ve got these beautiful ebbs and flows that are sitting in the soundwaves. If you look at the actual wave of the vocal and the instrumental you’ll see what I’m talking about.” He pauses to take another hit of the blunt and then points to the screen. “See. Do you see that? If you put a falsetto there? It ruins all of that magic you just spent two minutes creating. If you really want to follow this pattern that you already created, which is already beautiful, sing it down the octave. Jus trust me, bro.”

Bro. Your boyfriend had turned into a pot smoking vocal production expert bro in the time it took you to walk a block around the studio and pretend to pee. Who the fuck would’ve thought.

“Fuck it. Let’s see if the white boy’s right.” Khalid murmured already heading back for the booth.

You paused just inside the door and watched closely just to see what would happen. Before Mike hit playback, Khalid sang randomly a couple of times. He tried it on various notes to get a feel for what it might sound like. He lands on one and pauses to look towards Shawn.

“What about that one?”

Shawn nodded but looked up into the air like he was visualizing the notes or something.

“Try…”

And it happens. He sings is this effortless sort of way, but with the breath support of someone who knew what the hell they were doing. If you would have sat in a meeting, as you had hundreds of times, and he sang even that note, your spine would have straightened. It’s something immediate about him. It’s that thing you look for in every artist, and you’re lucky as hell if you ever find it. No wonder Manny wouldn’t let his work see the light of day. He’d be huge. Bigger than anything Mendes Industries had yet to accomplish. And Manny would have to live the rest of his life knowing that the best thing that ever happened to him, the best thing to ever come from him, had nothing to do with him at all. It was all Shawn.

Khalid stares at him. Mike stares at him. He takes another hit of the blunt and coughs his way through it, like he couldn’t sing his ass off. It’s rude for sure.

“Try now.” Shawn suggested.

Khalid looked around him to finally land his eyes on you. You’d never mentioned Shawn sang, or did anything beyond the scope of his job at his dad’s company. You knew that you didn’t need to. It was effortless for him. The pieces were all there, and they fit together seamlessly. When Shawn turns to look at you his cheeks get red, and he has the audacity to hide the blunt behind his back like you might not be able to see the smoke wafting up from behind him. But the light and the happiness in his eyes isn’t drug related in the slightest. He just loves to create music. And you kind of love to watch him do it.

You finally closed the door and walked delicately up to your boyfriend. You reached your arms around him until your fingers touched the blunt and you happily took it from him to set between your own lips.

“You heard the man.” You breathed on an exhale. “Try it now.”

*later that night*

You push him onto the bed face down in the hopes it’ll keep him quiet long enough for you to change. He was a chatty one when he was high, which knowing him you probably could have guessed. Less philosophical though, and more happy big ass puppy. By the time you got into bed he was already forcing himself into your space, head on your chest and arms around you. He liked to be held and he liked to hold. Physical touch was a big thing for him. So you gave it to him as much as you could.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled into your shirt. “I didn’t mean to intervene in the session. The producer was just...so wrong.”

You chuckled and squeezed at his shoulders.

“Don’t apologize. I’m glad you and Khalid hit it off. He’s young and still relatively untainted by the industry. I’d like to keep him that way if I could. It’s good for him to be around people without ulterior motives.”

“Okay.” He whispered. “It was also just so much fun.”

“Yea? You’re a very talented little thing aren’t you?”

“I don’t know about all that. I just know I love it. More than anything. Besides you of course. I love you a whole lot. The things you do to me, woman? Sheesh. It’s too much to handle.”

This made you laugh beyond belief. His eyes were closed and his lips frowned rumpled against your shirt. But he was just as chatty as could be.

“Is that so? And just what do I do to you?”

You expected vulgarity, something about your ass or your tits or the sounds that you made. Honestly that would have been more than fine. You loved the way he seemed to find endless sensuality in everything that you were. But the answer he offers instead is different.

“You just make me feel warm. All the time. When you hold me and when you kiss me and when you take my hand when we’re walking down the street. Everything about you is the sun. I can’t even tell that it’s cold outside cause when I’m with you it might as well be summer. I’ve never felt anything like it before. God, I love you.” He sighed. “Shit. We like just said that shit to each other. I said too much didn’t I? I shouldn’t have said all that. I’m sorry. I’m really baked right now.”

You bit your lip peering down at this man with the ability to make you feel everything, and with the heart and the emotional intelligence to share just how you did the same for him. And it felt really good. It felt like love and warmth and home. All wrapped up in a person. It was perfect.

“Don’t apologize. That’s the kindest thing anyone’s ever said to me. I love you. Go to sleep.” You whispered.

“Okay.”

He nuzzled deeper into your tummy and definitely pressed a kissed against your belly button the adorable bastard.

“Y/n?”

“Yes?”

“I love you too. You’re my sun, babe.”

You hold him extra tight that night.

****

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marshmallowgoop · 6 years ago

Text

Goop Plays Kill la Kill the Game: IF (Satsuki Episodes 9-10)

What.

Episode 9

Okay, before I get into the episode, I do have a confession to make: I did know some kinda spoilery things about the story mode before I started playing.

Me being me, I couldn’t help but read into every little thing that review copy owners said about the plot of the game prior to release. So, when my note about Hiromi Wakabayashi stating that IF was canon to the anime at last year’s Anime Expo seemed plausible enough to Globku that he even mentioned it in his review of the game, I figured something was up.

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In a Discord group for IF, I wrote:

I think Globku was actually referring to a comment I made [in his review], where I noted that Wakabayashi said the game was canon at AX last year ^^;

But apparently it could fit into canon

Which....

mmmm

Dunno how to feel about that

Globku later responded:

@MarshmallowGoop correct

I was referring to your comment

that's the first I heard of it

I had thought "this could actually be canon" at the end of story mode

so hearing that made sense

And I answered:

I'm famous! :D

The thing is, though, I had thought it was a misspoken statement, given that the story was later stressed to be an AU. But here is the source:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nFRRTHkfwM&feature=youtu.be&t=45m2s

Or to sum it up, from one of my millions of articles: "We first got story details at Anime Expo’s Kill la Kill the Game: IF panel back in July, and the crowd there didn’t waste any time in asking if the game would be canon to the anime. Studio Trigger’s Hiromi Wakabayashi answered in the affirmative, prompting applause from the audience.

'Yeah,' Wakabayashi said. “I consider them [the game and the anime] to be in the same universe, as part of the same story.'”

I elaborated some more:

Takeshi Yamanaka, the game's producer, also said in a recent video, "Nakashima-sensei is going to be the one drawing the storyboards. As you might expect, there were parts of the story that he wasn’t able to tell in the anime, so he’s putting a lot of effort into writing a side story that wasn’t able to be told in the anime. It takes place before the point in the anime—before the Naturals Election takes place, so around episode… 8.5? It’s less of an alternate universe story and more a story that happened, but there wasn’t time to depict it. It wasn’t shown in the anime, but these events actually happened in Nakashima-san’s head."

Which... I thought was really curious.

source: https://marshmallowgoop.tumblr.com/post/185751744432/crunchyroll-on-twitter

And then I concluded by saying:

In any case, the confirmation that this "alternate story" could fit into the anime's story... kind of explains some things

Globku went on to warn me that “they really use a popular gimmick to make it all fit together” and I shouldn’t “get [my] hopes up,” and when Timodus, another review copy owner, shared the trophy list for the game, I immediately took note of how the achievement for beating the final boss in Ryuko’s story is called “Lost in a Dream.”

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“inb4 the whole game was just a dream,” I said.

So, tl;dr, I was kind of expecting something like what happened in these two final chapters of Satsuki’s story.

But I’m still very, very lost.

Ragyo’s completely right. I’m not sure I can hope to understand!

Ragyo: You cannot hope to understand, dear.

I mean, what?

Ragyo: I suppose, though, that your obliviousness is what brought this situation about in the first place. A distorted world such as this can transcend space and time. One such as this can even be spun into a single yarn with the Primordial Life Fiber.

I suppose I should have seen something like this coming when it was stated in episode 4 that Life Fibers can transcend space, but I’m... very confused. Is this game a whole ‘nother universe that somehow ends up merging with the anime’s universe? Or is it just Satsuki’s dream, as the ending sort of implies? Or is it a “dream that’s more than a dream,” as is so common in Magical Girl stories (of which Kill la Kill takes many cues from)? Why does Ragyo refer to the world as “distorted”?

I’m sure Ryuko’s story will explain things more, but right now, I’m kind of scratching my head.

Trying to understand how this game fits into the anime aside, the battle with Ragyo in Shinra-Kouketsu is so much more difficult and more enjoyable than the final boss (as much as I enjoyed Junketsu-Shinzui). Once more, I really loved all the cute introductions as other characters joined Satsuki for the battle; Satsuki saying that she’s counting on Gamagoori and that she never imagined fighting with Ryuko by her side is so sweet. Satsuki’s comment to Nonon that she shouldn’t hold back also caught my interest, as it implies that Nonon might have seen Ragyo as a much kinder figure and wasn’t aware of her horrible abuses against Satsuki.

Hey, I know the consensus on this game has gone from generally positive to really mixed, but, uh, could we please get a Kill la Kill prequel someday? I mean, Little Witch Academia is getting another game despite the first one basically being a critical failure, right?

All that said, this episode really hammered home that I was definitely hoping for too much depth from a short story in an anime tie-in game. I kinda had the same reaction as Ryuko. That’s... it?

Ryuko: That’s it? It’s over?

And, uh, relating to my discussion of the last few episodes, Rei is totally dead, but is Ragyo? And Nui? I wasn’t completely sure, but if they are, is everyone just kinda “whatever” about that? They’re all teenagers who just killed a bunch of folks, nbd?

O... kay.

More positively, I loved the bit where Satsuki saw visions of the anime. All of those visions are about being with Ryuko, my heart. And the first one is her apology on the Naked Sol. My heart.

The style on these images is also really nice, too.

Can’t say I know at all what’s going on—does Satsuki end up just standing still after this because she realizes that the world is all fake or something?—but I was kind of expecting to dislike a gimmicky dream plot or whatever, but I actually... like it?

At least, so far, anyway.

Episode 10

Speaking of stuff I was expecting to dislike, I wrote a whole essay years ago about how I didn’t think Junketsu-Shinzui would be thematically fitting. In another essay, I argued, “Their [Satsuki and Junketsu’s] destructive “bond” is likely why Junketsu-Shinzui, the super-mode Junketsu version of Senketsu-Kisaragi, is never used. In a series quite literally about the power of friendship, having great strength come in the form of the exact opposite simply doesn’t work.”

But having Junketsu-Shinzui come from absorbing the uniforms of the Elite Four⁠—much like how Senketsu-Kisaragi came from absorbing other uniforms—made it work for me. It’s about friendship overpowering the monster that is Junketsu, not about power coming from domination, hatred, and control. It’s actually pretty sweet.

And Satsuki looks so beautiful.

However... I will say that I was hoping for a lot more from this story than what happened. There was none of the Senketsu and Satsuki bonding that I was dying for (sob), and Satsuki doesn’t grow at all as a person from the storyline here. She never realizes her mistakes and vows to be better as she does in the anime.

Initially, I was really bummed by this lack of development. But as I thought about things more, I... didn’t mind so much. If this dream or universe or whatever is something that Satsuki “experiences” before the events of the anime, of course she won’t grow as a character here. Maybe this game is kind of the Kill la Kill prequel I’ve been begging for for over half a decade.

And as much as I didn’t get anything, I thought the ending bits between Ryuko and Satsuki were so good.

Like, I suppose Ryuko’s absorbing the Life Fibers or something?? But wow, pretty.

And the part where they talk before Satsuki disappears? That’s my kinda anime bullshit. It’s the kinda anime bullshit I wanted from the OVA between Ryuko and Senketsu.

You know that scene in Wolf Children where Hana and the Wolf Man talk in the end? I have a lot of problems with that movie, but I just love things like that. Good shit.

Satsuki: Thank you. I am sorry for all the trouble.

Ryuko: Huh! Don’t get all mushy. Besides, there’s a few things we still gotta settle.

Satsuki: Indeed we have. Until we meet again.

But, okay. My questions are endless.

Where the heck did Ryuko and Senketsu go in that last battle? How the heck can Senketsu-Kisaragi happen in Ryuko’s side of the story? What the heck happened to my boy, anyway? (I’m assuming he died, but....)

And what’s the symbolism of Satsuki needing to cut herself in half to “wake up”?

And why do all the ties between humans and Life Fibers have to be severed when Ryuko and Senketsu are so lovely together? Not to mention that Ryuko still has Life Fibers in her, right?

Satsuki: The ties between humans and Life Fibers... shall be severed!

And I thought I was expecting too much from those ominous trailer lines, but apparently not?

Ragyo: All of this is because of you, Satsuki. Because of who you are.

You cannot hope to understand, dear. I suppose, though... that your obliviousness is what brought this situation about in the first place.

But what does it mean????

Why is Satsuki having this “dream” or whatever in the first place? Did the Life Fibers ultimately want the ending of the anime, and this “world” is to help Satsuki and co reach that ending? I mean, why else would the Primordial Life Fiber baby show Satsuki all those bits from the anime?

Also, what is the significance of the final boss basically being a big baby.

I just. I don’t even know.

I do also have to wonder how much of this “world” that Satsuki remembers in the end. I tend to forget my dreams (when I actually have them) really quickly, and that’s honestly the only reason that I can make sense of this story. Satsuki experienced all of this stuff, but all she really remembers about it is that girl with the red in her hair and one half of a giant pair of scissors...

It’s kinda poetic. Nakashima is a playwright, I suppose.

The story also reminds me of a fanfiction I’ve wanted to write. In the story, I too wanted to use some BS Life Fiber explanation to justify time travel of sorts. The idea was that Ryuko would continuously go back to the past to try to prevent Senketsu’s death. But she’d only remember previously living through the events of the anime close to its ending, and no matter how many times she’d try, she’d never be able to change the fact that Senketsu had to perish.

The final time she tries, she’d confess everything to Senketsu, and he’d say something about how some things are just meant to be. The future is as set in stone as the past.

I don’t think I’ll ever write it⁠—especially after I just revealed the whole plot, lol—but I dunno. I kinda liked seeing something a bit reminiscent of my idea in an actual “canon” Kill la Kill story, and Senketsu’s line in the preview for Ryuko’s half of the game makes me curious if there won’t be some more similarities coming up.

Senketsu: When humans realize the world they desire is a fleeting thing, will they be able to accept it?

Maybe the world Ryuko desires is a world where Senketsu lives, but that kind of world would be fleeting—but that’s enough for her.

Orrr I’m probably just being too optimistic for more stuff about my babies.

But, c’mon, Senketsu says he’s getting more action in Ryuko’s story! So! Let a girl dream!

At the end of the day, I think what I’ve wanted most from this story is more respect towards Senketsu. And... since I didn’t see Imaishi’s name in the credits, I’m hoping that at least that much happens.

But speaking of the credits, I’m sad I didn’t get mentioned, lol. Playing the game at Sakura-Con and Anime Expo apparently didn’t count!

#kill la kill #kill la kill the game #klk spoilers #klk: if spoilers #goop plays klk: if #ramblings #shut up goop #video #blehhh i fell asleep -twice- while trying to write this lollllll #but i'm gonna go play ryuko's story now!#so excited!!

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shirtlesssammy · 6 years ago

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4x14: Sex and Violence

Then:

Sam’s being seduced by the dark side.

Now:

We open with a happy couple going through the joys of settled marital bliss. Or at least a couple where the husband comes home late from work, the wife makes plans without his input, and the husband becomes dangerously angry --and by dangerously angry, I mean he takes a meat tenderizer and smashes his wife’s brains with it. Joy.

Because I’m not passing this up without a screenshot, here’s a rare shot of Bby Dean all tucked in and sleeping in what appears to be sleepwear. A rare sight in the wild.

He wakes to see Sam on the phone with someone, but quickly acts like he’s asleep when he realizes Sam’s not on the up and up. Sam “wakes” him with a case!

They head to interview the husband, who’s now in jail.

The husband explains that he killed his wife because she made plans without telling him. He knew what he was doing, but he doesn’t know why he did it. He loved her. They were happy. The boys bring up some dodgy credit card charges. The man admits to going to a strip club and meeting Jasmine. She was everything. He killed his wife for Jasmine. He takes full blame for what he did to his wife. Sidenote: The camera work is really interesting...so many extreme close-ups and cuts.

At Dr. Cara Robert’s office, Agent Stiles (I’m assuming it’s not Harry…) shows up for some questions about the three men who killed their wives. She reveals that all three men had high levels of oxytocin --the love hormone. Sam’s hitting it off with Dr Cara when Interrupting Squirrel arrives. (Side-side-side-note: I just looked up who Stiles and Murdock were. They were the characters from Route 66. Murdock is portrayed by an actor named George Maharis. And here I always thought George Michael Bluth’s fake name was an original goofball name. Oof. Arrested Development is the show that just keeps giving.) Dean turns on his “charm” but she only has eyes for Sam.

They boys head out, but not before Sam can get in one more bit of flirting. Dr Cara is smitten.

(For a one-off liaison for Sam, I LOVE THEM.)

Dean’s research revealed that each man’s story played out the same way, but they all fell for a different woman from the strip club.

Sam and Dean head to the Honey Wagon strip club for research that night. Dean gets nowhere with the club’s owner. No paperwork, all independent workers. Sam talked with Bobby, who suggests they’re dealing with a Siren. They’re beautiful creatures that prey on men, and entice them with their siren song. Dean’s song: Welcome to the Jungle. “So they shake their thing, and the guys zombie out?” (Side-note: SPOILER...Dean’s siren IS A MAN. I don’t want to jump ahead but I CAN’T WRAP MY HEAD AROUND THIS WHOLE EXPLANATION, AND THEN CONTINUE ON WITH THE “DEAN’S TOTES STRAIGHT” BULLSHIT THIS SHOW IS FEEDING US.) “Whatever floats the guy’s boat?” “So it can be the same chic, morphing into different dream girls?” Just as the brothers are lamenting the fact that it’ll be nearly impossible to locate the siren, one worker takes a client outside.

He takes her home for sexy-time, but not before checking in on his infirm mother. Later, she passively aggressively asks him to kills his mom so he can be with her forever. Then she just aggressively suggests he bash her brains in so they can be together. (Side-note: If this example of the siren working its wiles on a dude and his mom is supposed to show the “familial” side of the situation to parallel Sam and Dean, uh, the SIREN IS STILL SEXY-TIME for the dude even if the person they’re making them kill isn’t a significant other.)

While at their motel, doing a little research, Dean has a chance to check out Sam’s phone. He calls the one unknown number, only to hear Ruby on the other end. He hangs up, pissed. Sam arrives and Bobby calls in information.

Bobby mentions that the siren injects the men with some kind of toxin. But if the siren gets any of the toxin, they’ll die.

The boys head back to the hospital to meet with Dr. Roberts. Sam is hoping to get a sample of the Oxytocin. THE FLIRTING IS OUT OF CONTROL, FOLKS.

They’re interrupted by another FBI agent, Nick Monroe. There’s some FBI badge measuring. Dean and Nick look each other up and down and introduce themselves. There’s some staring (LISTEN, I’m just going off what the camera work is telling me, ok?) And Interrupting Moose, off-screen, tries to get in on the intro-fest. There’s some more FBI measuring, and Nick stares at Dean the whole time while Sam answers the questions. I mean, this is a master scene in heteronormativity. Nick calls the brother’s boss to check their credentials. Bobby, busy frying up lunch, puts everything in order.

Nick lays a theory on them all: all the attackers were hooking up with strippers from the same club. Sam and Dean bask in feelings of superiority because...DUH. Dean’s ready to be a “lone wolf” but Sam tasks him with occupying Nick instead.

It’s okay, though, because Nick is 100 billion percent into Dean(‘s car).

At the strip club, Dean’s not even watching the women (for pleasure OR for the case). He’s drinking and comparing music nerd levels with Nick.

There are “not a lot of Feds as cool as us,” Dean says, totally suavely. Totally, Dean! Finally, they get around to talking about the case. Nick pulls out further evidence that he collected...it’s a baggie with flowers matching the ones in Dr. Cara’s office. According to Nick, similar flowers have been found at every crime scene. He suggests that it’s the signature move of a serial killer. (Sorry, Nick, but Sam’s the one heavily into serial killer talk.)

Back with Sam and Dr. Cara-of-the-insidious-flowers, they’re reviewing security footage to find out who stole the blood samples from the attackers. It’s a no-go, though. Someone has already doctored the tapes. Sam tells her that he suspects a cover-up of the killings and that the men were drugged. Otherwise, why would they kill their victims in the first place? “Haven’t you ever been in a relationship where you really love somebody and still kind wanted to bash their head in?” Dr. Cara...keepin’ it real.

She pulls out alcohol to share from a cabinet in her office. (She’s clearly working through some issues of her own, poor bean.) When Dean calls she encourages Sam to ignore his phone call. It’s adult time now, baby. She can’t stop thinking about Sam’s lips, for example.

I’m sure I speak for Boris when I say:

Later, Sam heads back to the hotel room, accompanied by foreboding music. Dean’s not there, though. He’s driving in the Impala, and feeling disappointed in Sam. When they talk on the phone, Dean drops all his latest facts:

Sam’s ignoring Dean’s phone calls

Dr. Cara has hyacinths on her desk - which ties into the Grecian island where the siren myth originated

Her ex-husband is an ex because he’s DEAD, JIM

Also, why is Sam a jerk

Dean thinks Cara is the siren and he angrily asks Sam why he keeps hooking up with monsters. You’ll learn the allure of the supernatural someday, Dean. Maybe in just a few minutes in fact.

Dean enlists Nick’s help in canvassing for Dr. Cara. Nick finds her at a bar (poor, grieving Dr. Cara) and he and Dean stake out the late night dive.

In the car, they share swigs of a flask. Nick suggests that the poison might be entering the men through the saliva. Dean and Nick stare at the flask. “You really shoulda wiped the lid on that before you drank from it, Dean.”

Nick, who is totally the siren, tells Dean that Sam’s just a barrier to their relationship who needs to be removed. Nick can be like the brother that Sam’s failing to be. (Stares into the distance and thinks about labels.)

At the hotel room, Sam walks into an ambush. Dean holds a knife to his throat, while Nick delivers his villain speech. Yes, it is HE who has been driving men to kill others. “Maybe I got exactly what I wanted. I got Dean.” The siren reveals that he loves the hunt. He loves falling in love over and over again.

Nick squirts poison into Sam’s mouth. “Whoever survives can be with me forever.”

Sam and Dean, both under Nick’s control, turn to each other to...talk about their issues? The knife fighting comes later, clearly. Dean tells Sam that he’s changed, and lets him know that he knows about the calls to Ruby. Sam launches off of the Ruby subject and tells Dean that he’s too weak to fight Ruby. “You're too busy sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. Whining about all the souls you tortured in hell. Boo hoo.” DAMN, SAM. They fight - physically this time - and end up in the hallway.

As Dean is about to bring down an ax that he’s taken from the wall, Bobby appears! He jabs a bronze knife into Dean’s shoulder, throws the knife, and kills the siren. Damn, Bobby <3

Bobby lovingly chastises them later as they drink around their cars. According to Bobby, “Agent” Nick was clearly a big faking fake who fakes.

Dean asks if Sam will say goodbye to Cara but...nope. Sam’s just gonna blow outta town. (I think Dr. Cara mostly just wanted an uncomplicated hookup anyway, so likely for the best.) We leave the episode with awkward feelings all around. They’re “good” with each other but there’s a narrator voice intoning, “They were not, in fact, good.”

Whisper Quotes about Love:

Dude, you totally c-blocked me.

Strippers, Sammy, Strippers. We are on an actual case involving strippers.

Hey, I read.

For a fed, you’re not a total dick.

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn recap #spn rewatch #spn 4x14 #sex and violence #dean winchester #sam winchester #supernatural season 4

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