#heterosexual men of course deny their jealousy about their male bestie emphatically three times

[cosmicoceanfic]

Claireverse, Goodbye Stranger

Dean gets in the car and looks behind him. He sees Crowley, holding onto Meg, sees the both of them staring at him, and makes one of those lightning decisions, the one where it’s not really a decision, it just kinda happens.

Dean slams the car into reverse. In surprise, Crowley releases Meg, who takes a few skittering steps back. The back of the Impala plows into Crowley, sending him flying. Meg gapes at him.

“GET IN THE FUCKING CAR,” Dean roars. Meg doesn’t have to be told twice, jumping into the shotgun seat. Dean takes off like a shot, gripping the steering wheel, trying to breathe even. They drive in silence for the first five minutes or so, Meg staring at him as he white knuckles the wheel.

“Where’s Feathers?” She finally asks.

“It’s.” Dean takes a deep breath. “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean, you don’t know?”

“I don’t know means I don’t fucking know, Meg.” He takes another breath. “The angels… did something to him. He beat me half to death, he snapped out of it, he took off.”

They’re quiet again.

“Why did you do that? Back there?”

“I don’t know. I think. I think I owe you one, maybe.”

Meg squints at him. “Elaborate.”

“I, uh. You kept an eye on Cas. When he was nutso. And I… I think I owe you one. For that.”

“You do.”

“So I am… paying you back. I’m not doing it again, though, so you should stay the fuck away from Crowley.”

“Yeah, that’s not gonna be a problem.”

“Didn’t think it would.”

Meg takes a deep, steeling breath.

“Thanks,” she says, very grudgingly. “Or whatever.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Sure.”

They fall silent.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Dean says abruptly. “By which I mean I just saved your ass from Short Dark and Cranky back there, so I get to ask you something.” Meg doesn’t say anything, just glowers, but she doesn’t bite him or anything, so he takes it that he’s good to go. “What’s the deal with you and Cas?”

“And what deal might you be referring to?”

“Oh, fuck you, don’t make me beg.”

“I dunno. Maybe I like the sound of you begging.”

Dean grits his teeth. “Look, do you have the warm fuzzies for him or not?”

“Why? Are you jealous?”

Dean scowls. “No. No. No, I’m not, I just want to know. He’s my friend, I’m looking out for him, something you’d know, if you had friends.”

Meg looks out the windshield.

“What can I say? I find myself rather fond of the little tree topper.”

“Fond how?”

“I’m not going to corrupt his angelic virtue, if that’s what you’re so worried about. I have no interest in popping that particular cherry.”

“Then what do you want with him?”

“Well, perhaps I enjoy his company. I don’t call him just when I need something, you know.”

“I don’t do that,” Dean snaps. “And you don’t call him, anyway.”

“Don’t you?” Meg stretches her legs out, resting her feet on the dash. “He’s always so happy to bleed for the Winchesters, but are the Winchesters so happy to bleed for him?”

Dean grits his teeth. “Meg, get your fucking feet off my dashboard before I break them off.” Meg rolls her eyes but complies. “You know, Claire and I were settled. We had our own apartment, we were stable. And he didn’t come to see me once. He came to see Claire which, don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for! But he only came to see me when he needed help. So you wanna talk about me only calling him when he needs something, sister, it is a two way street.”

Meg tilts her head back. “You wanna know what I think?”

“No.”

“I think that you are fundamentally broken.”

“Meg, I am seven seconds from kicking your ass out on the side of the road-“

“But I think so is Castiel. And so is Moose. And so I am, too, maybe. And I think we all behave in strange, fucked up, fundamentally broken little ways, and none of us know how to communicate with each other.”

Dean sniffs. “Since when do you get profound?”

“I was tortured for a long time, Ken Doll. I had a lot of time to think.” Meg sighs. “I don’t know what to tell you, Winchester. All I can tell you is that I like being around him. I like the way he sees me. You say I don’t have friends, but I think I have one. I think I have Clarence. And if I get my hands on whatever angel fucked him around in his brainpan, I’ll skin them. That’s what you would do, isn’t it?”

Dean tightens his grip on the wheel. “Yeah. Well.”

“Am I permitted to interrogate your intentions now?”

“No, you are not.” Dean looks at her. “So what are you gonna do?”

“I’m going to ground. Somewhere far away. I’m getting my hair how I like it and I’m burying myself so deep the Little Prince of Hell will never find me.”

Dean grits his teeth. He can’t believe he’s doing this.

“Okay,” he says. “Well, we’re making a pit stop, before you fuck off.”

Meg folds her arms. “You know, if you wanted to kill me yourself, I have to tell you, I can absolutely take you.”

“Believe me, I’d love nothing more, but.” Dean thinks of the look on Cas’ face, staring down at him. The horror in his eyes as he healed Dean’s broken face. “I’m doing somebody a solid.”

+

Meg barely says a word the entire time Dean is buying the phone, eyeing him suspiciously. When they get outside the phone store, Dean programs his number into it, and programs the new phone’s number into his. He shoves the phone at Meg.

“Here,” he says. “Take it.”

Meg does so, slowly. “Why?”

“Listen-“ Dean steels himself. “I don’t know where Cas is or what he’s doing. But, uh. He’s gonna. He’s gonna wanna know you’re okay. So I am… I am leaving an avenue open for him.”

Meg sizes him up.

“Thanks,” she finally says.

“Hey, I’m not doing this for you, Bitch Barbie. I’m doing this cause maybe. Maybe I owe Cas one, too.”

Meg slides the phone into her pocket. “Well. Guess I’ll see you around.”

“Ideally, no.”

“Mm.” Meg stretches. “Later, bitch nuggets.”

Meg strides off, leaving Dean leaning against the Impala. He rubs his eyes, taking a deep breath. He’s got to go home. Brief Sam. Come up with a story for Claire about Cas. Take a long, long nap.