#heterosexual dating was even discouraged in COLLEGES

[someoneintheshadow456]

Like IK this is about asexuality and no shade on this guy here, but the fact that people in his school environment were having girlfriends and crushes and watching porn, and people called his lack of attraction a "medical condition" is... kind of proof that he was growing up in an A-tier city.

If he grew up anywhere outside of Delhi, Mumbai, and Bangalore, things would look very, very different and maybe he wouldn't have realised he was asexual at all - because his temperament would have been held up as the ideal and "sanskaar" by other adults.

He might have entered a marriage as his parents commanded and seen as a "good boy" for never dating or feeling attraction to women. In general, loveless marriages are normalized and even encouraged in our culture, but you're supposed to give your parents grandsons anyway to "carry the family line."

Idk I just wish I could hear the perspectives of asexuals growing up outside of those three cities, as well as LGBT people in general. Because the experience of people from A-tier cities (and let's be real, urban areas in general) is not even close to how most Indians grow up.

God it means so much to me to see ace rep

[beatenxnotxbroken]

“Do you try not to think of the ones you lost?                

  I do… It hurts too much to think about them…”

Name: Rebecca Shae Byrd Gender: Female Sexuality: Heterosexual Age: 126 Date of Birth: July 21st Place of Birth: Denver, Colorado Languages Spoken: English, ASL (American Sign Language) Hairstyle: Down, in a ponytail, in a ball cap or beanie. Hair Color: Brunette Species: Human turned Werewolf Former Occupation: Part-time waitress at a bar and grill Studied: Zoology Height & Weight: 5'5", 125lbs Places of Residence: Cold Spring, New York/Several safe houses located around the US thanks to May.

𝓡𝓮𝓫𝓮𝓬𝓬𝓪 𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰: 𝓒𝓵𝓲𝓬𝓴 𝓽𝓸 𝓛𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓷

𝓟𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓸𝓷𝓪𝓵𝓲𝓽𝔂:

When one first meets Becca, they'll notice that she's reserved and careful. She's hesitant and doesn't talk much, taking time to open up to others. Building trust with her is not easy, and initially, she tends to keep her distance. However, one shouldn't let that discourage them from experiencing her kind and pure nature. As you get to know her, her genuine character will gradually reveal itself. Playful, magnetic, and captivating, she will go to great lengths for her loved ones and friends. Despite her fear or the risks involved. She possesses a gentle spirit that suggests she's more of a lover than a fighter. Nevertheless, people can be surprised to discover her protective side, which she exhibits when defending those she cares about. She prefers to avoid the limelight and prefers to observe her surroundings in silence from the sidelines. But once she feels comfortable and safe with someone, be prepared for her to break her silence. Wearing her emotions openly, she frequently worries about those who protect her or engage in any dangerous activities. Romance is hard for the Lycan as her past has led her into trouble with it once before, so she tends to be hesitant in that field however one shouldn't be discouraged as she is still open to the idea of love. She is not one to seek attention and is easily intimidated, but she also displays moments of bravery, revealing yet another one of the many layers of Rebecca Byrd.

𝓑𝓪𝓬𝓴𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂:

Until age 5, Becca grew up with her parents in Denver, Colorado. The evening of May 23rd however, a tragic car accident robs the five-year-old of her parents leaving her hospitalized and orphaned. Once out the young brunette was quickly ushered into the care of an immediate family member.

After being taken in and raised by her aunt Cindy and uncle Randy, Becca continues to lead a somewhat normal existence, even striving for a degree in zoology. Developing a close bond with her older cousin Cara and her best friend Emma Hill, the trio grew up practically inseparable. However, Becca's life took a turn for the worse when she entered into a damaging relationship with a man named Eric. This relationship persisted throughout her time in high school, gradually deteriorating due to his volatile temper and abusive behavior towards her. The situation between them escalated when she started investigating Eric's mysterious disappearances during the nights he claimed to be "hunting". Matters reached a boiling point when, at the age of twenty-one, Becca engaged in a particularly brutal fight with Eric, resulting in her seeking refuge with her cousin Cara. Fed up with the situation, Becca made the decision to end her relationship with Eric. Unfortunately, Eric did not take this news well. Reacting with anger upon hearing her desire to break up, he violently attacked her. This confrontation ultimately led to their separation, with Eric promising that he would come back for her, but in a completely different guise.

The brunette needed two years to recover from her toxic relationship with Eric. She worked hard during this time by attending college and earning her master's degree in Zoology. She also took the time to rediscover herself. While in college, she met a young woman named Mayleen Wilson and they quickly formed a strong bond, becoming close friends. Sadly, her time in college was cut short by a tragic accident involving her uncle, which required her to return home.

Following the untimely and devastating demise of her uncle, Becca's life once more descended into disarray. Struck in the torso by a workhorse, Randy suffered a heart attack, succumbing to his injuries shortly after arriving at the hospital. It wouldn't be long before misfortune struck again. The stress caused by the disappearance of Emma Hill compelled Rebecca to urgently seek answers and search for her closest companion. Approaching her elder cousin Cara, Becca persuades her to accompany her to New York, where Emma's trail led them to Cold Spring.

During this time, Eric persistently pursues her and unexpectedly crosses paths with her once more, determined to fulfill his threat to her. This encounter left the brunette grappling with a challenge unlike any she had encountered before. Employing his claws and teeth, the Lycan sank his teeth into her body before she successfully managed to evade the canine. After successfully fleeing, Rebecca searches for her cousin and is promptly taken to the hospital. There, medical professionals attend to the several bites on her arms and numerous scratches on her abdomen. Following her discharge, the brunette isolates herself in her room for multiple hours, experiencing symptoms resembling influenza, until she ultimately undergoes the transformation into a Lycan. Noticing the abrupt disturbance, Cara checks her younger cousin, and their ensuing interaction leads to Rebecca biting Cara, condemning her to the life of a Lycan as well.

Shortly thereafter, Rebecca and Cara are able to locate Emma and the three have a tearful reunion. Upon reuniting with their childhood friend, Rebecca shared the details of her and Cara's current predicament, how Eric was the one behind it, and that he was still out there. It was during this conversation that Rebecca discovered the reason behind Emma's abrupt absence and how she had become involved in the Lycan world as well. After realizing the importance of staying together and finding a secure place to reside, the three individuals had a discussion to consider their options. Ultimately, they agreed to contact Becca's acquaintance May, who promptly extended an invitation for them to stay with her in Cottonwood Falls, Kansas. Once settled, the group get to know each other and their situation better through conversation. During their discussion, the girls revealed that they had become werewolves and Mayleen shared her own connection to the supernatural. The witch suggested that she could help hide them and advised them to lay low for the time being. However, over the following weeks, Becca received news from a pair of hunters who happened to be close friends of May's, that Eric had arrived in town.

Becca expresses her concerns about Eric to the rest of the group and proposes that they take the initiative to attack him first upon learning of his return. However, the group becomes anxious and advises her that they may not be adequately prepared for a confrontation and that she herself might not have full control over her abilities. Despite these warnings, Becca disregards them. Seeking assistance from the two hunters, she implores them to join her in confronting Eric at an abandoned warehouse on the town's outskirts. During the confrontation, Eric manipulates Rebecca's thoughts by revealing why he had done everything he had to her, telling her she was nothing more than a pawn in his revenge plan towards her aunt, causing her to become angry and disoriented. This leads her to undergo a transformation into a wolf and turn against the two hunters who were assisting her, ultimately resulting in their deaths. In a final act, Becca manages to injure Eric before he successfully escapes, leaving Rebecca to revert to her human form and face the consequences of the chaos she had caused. May receives the devastating news of their friends' demise from Rebecca, burdened with shame, guilt, and deep remorse. The witch refrains from holding Rebecca accountable for the tragic sequence of events, yet their relationship becomes strained. Despite the absence of blame, Rebecca finds it impossible to absolve herself, pledging that she will never repeat her errors and that their deaths will serve a purpose. Committed to rectifying the harm inflicted, Rebecca, Cara, Emma, and May seek out a sibling duo of werewolves (named Stratus and Gordon) who impart the knowledge of voluntary transformation, rather than solely relying on the full moon. The ordeal proves arduous for Rebecca, Cara, and Emma. She now travels on her own from one safe house to another, searching for any clue that could lead her to Eric's whereabouts. Her determination to put an end to his reign of terror over her and her loved ones growing stronger and stronger. Along with her desire to redeem herself, she faces many more challenges accompanied by an uncertain future.

“Was it Eric that you saw though?”

“Yes... He had turned into a wolf though...."

𝓗𝓸𝓫𝓫𝓲𝓮𝓼/𝓛𝓲𝓴𝓮𝓼

Becca is an avid reader who enjoys spending time in nature and with animals. She also has a talent for drawing and singing. Swimming is another skill she possesses, and she loves to travel whenever she can. In her spare time, she tries her hand at gardening, though she often struggles to get started. Becca is a movie fan, with a particular love for the Jurassic Park/World series, Lord of the Rings, scary movies, Planet of the Apes series, Disney films, and many others. She also has a habit of collecting cute tiny objects, small animal character trinkets are her favorite though.

𝓗𝓪𝓫𝓲𝓽𝓼

Becca displays a variety of anxious behaviors, such as embracing herself, biting her lower lip, and toying with any accessories she adorns. Additional behaviors include babbling about trivial trivia regarding animals, stroking her hair, and constantly fidgeting. Compliments quickly cause her cheeks to redden, and she may even adjust or squirm in her seat, as she is unaccustomed to receiving such praise. However, when she does receive it, it tends to elate her significantly. When feeling nervous or anxious, Becca may exhibit another behavior. Stumbling over her words tends to be one of her main sources of frustration, and she becomes even more flustered when it occurs. The brunette often struggles with sitting still when excited or elated, easily leading to bouncing in place or other awkward movements. She can be quite clumsy and tends to hit her head frequently in various situations.

𝓦𝓮𝓪𝓴𝓷𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓮𝓼

Trusting to a fault || Silver Timid || Fire Stubborn at times || Easily Distracted Wolfsbane

𝓢𝓽𝓻𝓮𝓷𝓰𝓽𝓱𝓼

Independent || Determined Compassionate || Honest Resilient || Superhuman Strength/Speed Loyal

[rydertm]

𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐫𝐲𝐝𝐞𝐫.

( wolfgang novogratz, cis male ) hey ! have you seen RYDER MONROE around ? HE works as a RENTALS TECHNICIAN at big bear resort, but they must be off their shift by now. well, if you do see them can you let me know ? they’re 22 years old & they’ve been working here for A FEW WEEKS. they tend to be CAREFREE & FUN-LOVING, but can also be IRRESPONSIBLE & EVASIVE. the other employees have labeled them THE PETER PAN. thanks a lot ! ( mismatched socks and old beat up converse, a mischievous dimpled smile, soft guitar strums at 3am, illegible scribbles in a worn out notebook, rowdy cheers heard overtop of loud party music ).

ya, idk man. i have no self-control & this is a long, rambley mess. soooo hERE is aylie’s older twin brother ( by five minutes ), ryder. gimme a like ig, but imma be hitting everyone up to plot anyways cuz i luv u all.

name : ryder austin monroe if u kno, u kno age : twenty-two gender : cis male sexuality : heterosexual hometown : london, england job : rentals technician ( subject to change )

born to a famous retired musician from london and a colorado native, ryder is the older twin of aylie ( by five minutes and he’ll never let her forget it ). they share an older brother, cole, making him the middle child.

middle child syndrome was very much so the case with ryder. between his siblings, he was always the troublemaker and it’s been this way since they were young. he could always be found up to no good ━ anything from hanging off the curtains to trying to ship himself off to egypt in a cardboard box. 

his dad got him into music to teach him how to focus and as a means to keep him busy. ryder took to it like fish to water, and showed some promising talent in writing and playing music. he wrote his first song when he was five and although it was pretty much just nonsense about cheerios, he somehow managed to recycle some of the lyrics into a proper song years later. 

as a kid, ryder was also put into different sports to channel all of his energy somewhere. football ( or soccer for the ‘muricans ) was the sport that he kept up with up until he finished school, and of course, snowboarding. he’s always been ridiculously competitive, especially with his siblings, and likes to tease aylie that he’s the superior snowboarder in the family. 

he had just been accepted to berklee college in the US when his mom got into a car accident and passed away. her death really shook his family to the core, yet ryder had played it off like he was completely unaffected by it, even cracking jokes at the funeral. 

that was just who ryder was. he never took anything seriously, even when he should, and life was just one big party. he always ran away at the first sign of a problem or responsibility, and that was exactly what he did after his mom’s funeral. he packed up what he could and left home that very night, only leaving his family a half-assed note on the back of the funeral program.

he spent the summer traveling on his own, working odd jobs and playing whatever gigs he could get. deferring his acceptance to berklee for a year, later turned into dropping out altogether when he decided to just focus on his music.

the whole music thing worked out for him after he put together a band while in amsterdam. they toured around different cities playing small gigs, and when he wasn’t touring, he was working with upcoming artists or traveling on his own. ryder was never in one place for long and his family never knew when he’d visit. 

it was only a couple years ago that he began visiting big bear again, mostly to visit his sister and to snowboard. though he also picked up the odd job of working at the rentals shack, where he spends most of his shift messing around on his guitar.

ryder’s always been the biggest little shit around. he could be pretty rowdy and immature sometimes, but it’s all in the name of fun. very much an act before you think type and has landed himself in some hot water because of it. with absolutely zero impulse control, he’s a bit of a fighter and a lover ( will fight you, but then buy you a beer after ), but he’s got a good heart and tries to be cool with everyone.

FUN FACTS.

his music is a bit of a cross between rex orange county and lauv. 

really bad with quotes. will quote ghandi even though 9.9/10 times, ghandi did not in fact say it.

obsessed with the fast and furious movies. frequently wishes he was brian o’connor. sometimes thinks he is brian o’connor. will absolutely be the first in line to watch the 24th movie and will also frequently quote the movies.

ironically enough, he’s a bad driver. like, really bad. took him nine tries to get his license. just picture cher horowitz’s driving tbh.

ryder’s instagram is private because of his ~* super famous celeb *~ dad, but he also lets just about anyone follow him so that... kind of defeats the purpose. he posts a lot of artsy ( in his opinion ) pics, but also random stuff like a zoomed in shot of grease on a pizza slice and cUtE candids, complete with quotes ( said by the wrong people ) as captions. #influencer 

always down for a good prank war. famously known for being the guy that broke in and stole the jonas brothers’ wardrobe change right before they had to get back on stage.

loves a good romance or rom-com movie. can probably quote from the classics. he just quotes a lot of shit i guess?? also a big taylor swift stan. he said fuck your gender norms, bro!

WANTED CONNECTIONS. some generic wcs cuz i’m boring IDK. obvy, i’m always open to brainstorming other ideas too!

BROT3  ━ trio of your dreams bish. every bro needs his bros. his partners in crime, ride or dies, BFFLs, bro-mates, whatever you wanna call it. can either encourage or discourage ryder’s ~*~brilliant~*~ ideas, but either way, they’re always along for the ride.  taken by leo takanashi & kieran rhodes

CHILDHOOD ( BEST ) FRIEND  ━ grew up together and they’re basically each other’s number one since day one. probably vacationed together in big bear and that was how they met.

MOM FRIEND  ━ because ryder is a dumb child and needs someone looking out for him, even if he only listens like 10% of the time. just a scary mama bear / boss bitch who he is maybe a lil scared of.  taken by divine burakgazi

CONFIDANT  ━  not saying ryder talks about his ~* feelings *~ often, but the odd chance that he does, it’s probably with y/m. they could just lend an ear, or be someone he turns to for advice too.  taken by callie macdermot

GOOD INFLUENCE  ━ the angel on ryder’s shoulder basically. the voice of reason who will talk him out of getting into dumb shenanigans where he’ll a) hurt himself, b) get into trouble, or c) all of the above.

BAD INFLUENCE  ━ and ofc, the devil on ryder’s shoulder. the person who encourages all of his bad ideas. probably even contributes a fair share of them. taken by callie macdermot

( EX ) FLING / FWB / HOOK-UP ━  someone ( or multiple someones ) ryder often hooked up with whenever he’s in big bear. maybe he genuinely liked her ( and she liked him back? ), but he’s just too emotionally immature and flighty to be a good boyfriend.

EX-GF  ━  dated for a few months before she dumped him because he was a crappy boyfriend. it could have ended on good, bad, awkward, whatever terms.  taken by ingrid kelly

SOFT SPOT  ━  maybe they dated, maybe they almost dated, maybe it was on/off. whatever the case, ryder  just can’t seem to shake y/m. he cares a lot for her ( possibly some strong lovey feelings were involved ) and will always be there for her no matter what. y/m could feel the same way, or just be leading him on. think peter kavinsky & gen sdlkgjdkg don’t come at me.  taken by divine burakgazi

FAVOURITE ANNOYANCE  ━  ryder loves to annoy y/m and get on their nerves just for the hell of it ( maybe he has a tiny crush ). will do just about anything to get a rise out of y/m and to rile them up.

ENEMIES / RIVALS  ━ for whatever reason, they just never clicked and/or rubbed each other the wrong way. every time they’re in the same room together, it’s big yikes and lots of tension.

[futurefrenchteacher]

Coming out Bi

For me this wasn’t such a big deal compared to many others, who have more prejudiced family and friends, but this was still a huge struggle.

In January of 2018, I realized my sexual orientation was not what I thought It was all along. I always thought I was straight up heterosexual, given I was born into an extremely Christian family who discouraged anything LGBT. Since I was about 14, I looked at women just as much as I looked at men, but I never thought much about it. In fact, I almost felt like a looked at women a lot more, as their outfits would really compliment them and I’d notice the effort they put into their hair and makeup. Or even how beautiful they would look barefaced.

.

This seems like a normal way to look at women, or at least I thought, until I had many girl crushes on them. They were never quite sexual crushes though, at this age, it was more like, “wow, she’s really pretty I’d love to date her.” But I shut this out... because I thought it was wrong. All of my female friends had become sisters to me, so luckily I never developed feeling for them in that way. But I still couldn’t keep my eyes off certain girls at school, they were so kind and beautiful and sometimes stood out way more than the men. I kept dating men throughout high school, since I knew I still had lots of feelings towards them as well. But I couldn’t shake the mindset of the possibility of dating a girl out of my head.

.

As much as I tried to suppress my thoughts, they carried through high school. And even into college. My second semester of college I went through a huge breakup, and I downloaded tinder. When it gave me the option to filter through men, women, or women & men, i sat and thought for a minute. Here was a chance to try something out... so I selected women & men.

.

I talked to many girls through that app for the first time ever, but for some reason, none of them were very compatible with me. I almost met up to date 2 of them, but times just didn’t work out. I then met this other man, who for this story we will just call “S”, who after only 3 days of talking to me, demanded all or nothing from me (meaning I only talk to him or not at all). I liked him and he was compatible, so I cut off all the women I talked to as well as the one guy I was chatting with a bit. I should’ve known by his extreme demand after only 3 days that I was in for a shitty ride, but no matter.

.

S wasn’t good to me, but one thing that was nice was that I did feel like I could tell him just about anything. I was wrong though. I told him I was bisexual and he flipped, he told me I was twice as likely to cheat on him because of that...

.

If you’re bi, you know that is just straight FALSE. You’re either loyal or you’re not. Your sexual orientation does not depict whether you are more likely to cheat or not. I literally just wanted to tell him, because I actually hadn’t told anyone yet. I just wanted to not be judged.

.

What’s wild though is about a week later he started asking about threesomes, which is ANOTHER misconception about bisexuals. Just because we like both does not mean we are always down for a threesome!!!! I am an EXTREMELY committed person, so the idea of sharing his body with someone else was disgusting and he made me feel like I, myself, wasn’t enough for him.

.

After that relationship ended, I decided to tell my closest lady friends. I was really nervous, but they welcomed me with open arms, and said they weren’t surprised at all. It was nice to be so welcomed by them and to not feel ashamed or judged in any way.

.

More time passed, and I talked to more women and men again, and here I am dating the love of my life, who happens to be a man. When I told him I was bisexual he was more than welcoming and said it didn’t change any of the way that he thought about me.

.

All I can say is that although I have never dated a female, there was no hiding that I had attraction for women just as much as men... and it was nice to at least be able to talk about it with my best friends and signifiant other openly. And although I haven’t told my mother, I probably never will unless I ended up with a girl, but now I’ve found who I want to spend the rest of my life with so luckily I won’t have to. But it is so nice being accepted by some of the people I love.

.

My takeaway from this is sometimes it’s really hard to come out with your sexual orientation, which isn’t a surprise to anybody. Sometimes you’ll receive backlash or shitty judgement. The important thing is to remember that you are who you are and you can’t change that. The people that truly love you will always respect your preferences and love you always. And it’s your choice on who you tell!! Nobody other than the 5 people I’ve told know anything about it, because I wanted it to be more of a private thing. And luckily all my tumblr followers are not personal to me, so I am also informing you. It’s okay to not make a huge social media announcement, not every lesbian/bi/gay does it. But here’s my story, and I hope you’ll keep your head up no matter what. Don’t let the world tell you what to be! And be proud of who you are.

.

Love is love.

[ironwoman359]

Heyo is like to preface this message by saying I’m bi, and love my ace and aro sibs so much. I’m also really interested in how people see the LGBTQ+ community and I wanted to ask as respectfully as I could what your opinion is as a heteroromantic asexual person. Do you see yourself as LGBTQ+? Feel free to completely ignore this message or delete it if you wanna :) I just recently found out what your full orientation was (split model and such) and was real curious! Okay bye lovely!! ♥️♥️♥️

Firstly, I want to thank you for being so kind and respectful in your question! I really appreciate that. Secondly, this is really long and rambly, and gets really personal for me, so I’m gonna stick it under a cut so I don’t take up all y’alls entire dash. If you want to hear my thoughts about this, feel free to read of course! I by no means am hiding here, but just remember that this is all my own experiences I’m talking about here, and by no means is meant to represent all ace people, especially not all ace-het people. Everyone is unique and has their own story and own feelings about their orientation, so take my thoughts for what they’re worth, but remember that they aren’t the only thoughts out there. 

So! without further ado, here we go. (also, apologies to the blogs I tagged, don’t feel obligated to read this, I was just using you as examples. Love you, ‘kay bye)

Do I, as a split model asexual-heteromantic (cis) woman see myself as a member of the LGBTQ+ community? 

I really wish that I could answer that with a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no,’ but unfortunately I can’t do that. My orientation confuses the heck outta me, and I’ve found that there aren’t that many simple answers when it comes to it. So hopefully I can break this down in a way that makes sense. 

In a lot of ways, I feel like I’m not LGBT+, so I’m going to start with those. One, I was raised, and still am, a Christian. Now, let me explain. I am not saying that Christians aren’t or can’t be LGBT+. Nothing could be further from the truth. But I bring it up because it is relevant to my own journey with my orientation. Christians are taught that sex is to be shared and enjoyed with your spouse after marriage, and only with your spouse after marriage. That is a belief that I still hold for myself today. But what this meant for little 12 year old Taylor going through puberty was that sex was just on that list of things to not do, you know? Don’t drink underage, don’t do drugs or smoke, don’t have sex before marriage, don’t be a bully, etc. For me, I couldn’t see the point of doing any of those things; drugs and cigarettes are terrible for your body, drinking before it’s legal is pretty foolish on a lot of levels, bullying is so mean, I had no urge to do any of those things, so it didn’t come as a surprise to me that I had no urge to have sex either. It didn’t even occur to me that for some people around my age and older, that temptation to have sex was really really strong. 

This leads directly into another reason that I don’t feel LGBT+ sometimes: as a heteromantic, I never went through the confusion of wondering why I didn’t like boys yet. I did like boys, I developed major crushes on several at my school. Ok, like, four. In all of middle school and high school, I had maybe four attractions that I would say were strong enough to be called crushes. That’s because I don’t really feel physical attraction (though I didn’t realize this back then). I can recognize and appreciate aesthetic attraction, but it doesn’t really do anything for me. I fall in love with people, not bodies or faces, and I went to a small high school where most of the guys were losers, so my pickings were slim. But I did like those few guys, and I wanted those guys to like me, I constantly wondered if any guy liked me in “that way,” even ones I wasn’t interested in, just seeking that validation. Most didn’t, or if they did, they didn’t say. One guy, who was actually my biggest crush, did admit his own crush on me and we went on one date, but it didn’t go further than that (thank god, turns out he would’ve been a terrible person to date. My current bff is one of his [many] exes, and I learned from her that I dodged a bullet by not going out with him more, but anyway). I never had more than that one date in all my life before I started dating my current bf (more on him later), and I couldn’t see the point in having sex with someone you weren’t dating/in love with, so I always just assumed the reason I had never been tempted to try sex outside of marriage was because I had never dated anyone. I didn’t realize that for most people a sex drive was….you know, a drive. 

Ok though, so why am I telling you all this, and why does it make me see myself as not a part of the LGBT+ community sometimes? Well, I feel like I haven’t gone through a lot of the struggles that a lot of people in that community are going/have gone through. Questioning what was wrong with me, why I didn’t like members of the opposite gender, thinking I was broken, I didn’t go through any of that. And since I’m heteromantic, it sometimes feels hypocritical to claim myself a member of the LGBT+ community. I feel like I have no common ground with them. What place do I have, sticking my nose into this community when I don’t share their struggles? 

HOWEVER 

I don’t actually agree with that line of thinking when it comes to most other people. I absolutely think that asexuality is valid and needs to be recognized as a valid part of the LGBT+ community, because at its core, the LGBT+ community is a group of people who come together around one shared thing: we are not what our society has deemed to be “normal” or “default”: Heterosexual/heteromantic/cisgendered. And I recognize those thoughts I have about my own worth as a member of the LGBT+ community, it’s what people who don’t believe that aces are real or belong in this community say to discourage our presence. And that is so, so damaging. Just because I didn’t experience some of those struggles in my younger years doesn’t mean that other cishet-aces didn’t, in fact, I bet a lot did. I was a sheltered kid in a lot of ways (not by my parents mind you, I actually sheltered myself unintentionally) and that ended up saving me a lot of confusion and heartache, but I know that my experiences don’t speak for all cishet-aces’ experiences. 

Also, just because I didn’t experience the confusion and feelings of brokenness in middle and high school doesn’t mean I didn’t experience them. I did, as an adult. (this is the part where I start talking about my love life, sorry in advance) 

When I was a freshman in college, I had this guy friend. I had a massive crush on him, he was super nice and funny and we liked a lot of the same things and we could talk for hours about anything and-Well, I won’t bore you with the details. Suffice it to say, if our lives were a fanfic, it’d be tagged as slow burn Taylor x Steven, and every chapter the readers would be tearing their hair out, screaming at the page for them to JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY, GOD. (That’s what our friends certainly were thinking. They shipped us hardcore) But, he’s a dork, and I’m a dork, and we were both too afraid to act on our feelings and ruin our friendship. After a year of being friends though, he finally asked me out at the start of our sophomore year, and we began dating (our third anniversary is this september). 

Physically, we took things slow, this being my first ever relationship, only his second, and us both wanting to save sex for marriage, the physical part of the relationship developed much more slowly than the emotional one. I don’t remember how long we were dating before he asked if he could kiss me…I may have actually told him I loved him before we got to that point, I don’t remember. But after we’d been dating for awhile, I started to become aware of something. Couples, even couples not having sex, were typically more physical than this, right? Kisses weren’t just for hellos and goodbyes, didn’t people just kiss for the heck of it? Wasn’t more physical affection something you were supposed to want? 

At first, I shrugged it off as physical touch being my lowest love language. And I told him this, when I realized that, because I knew it was higher for him. I believe my exact words were something along the lines of “I’m not a very physical person, it’s all up here for me” *gestured to my brain* I knew that I was attracted to personality more than looks, and I knew I enjoyed quality time and other displays of love to physical affection. I didn’t know the word asexual yet. 

As we dated more and it became more likely that marriage was in our future though, my thoughts started to drift towards that possibility. The thought of sharing my life with him excited me, as did the possibility of raising a family with him. Of course, in order to make a family (in the traditional way)…you have to have sex. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I could not imagine myself in any sexual situation at all. The thought made me uncomfortable, which at first I brushed off as repression/ignorance, since there had been little to no sex ed in my high school (it had boiled down to “here’s how you don’t get pregnant or catch an std: use condoms, make sure you and your partner are tested, be on the pill, or you know, just don’t have sex. Seemed ok to me. But orientations, the act itself, any of that stuff? Completely ignored.) But as time went on and on, I started to panic. I couldn’t picture myself in any sort of sexual situation, hell, I couldn’t even understand what some people found so enjoyable about kissing. I’m almost 22, and still have never “been to first base.” What could possibly be enjoyable about sticking your tongue in someone else’s mouth? That’s…that’s just weird. Surely you see how weird it is? (probably not, if you aren’t ace, and that’s ok. I’m aware that I’m the weird one in that line of thinking) 

By summer break 2017, I was thoroughly freaked out. I wanted to be married, but I had come to the realization that I didn’t want sex. And I knew that he would, I mean, how could he not? People wanted sex, right? So what was wrong with me? By this point, I think I had seen the word asexual on the internet before, but I didn’t know much about it, all I knew was that it was part of the LGBT+ community. And while I sympathized with their struggles, I didn’t know a whole lot about all the individual orientations specifically, cause hey, I was straight! I was in love with a man, and I knew I wasn’t attracted to girls, so I wasn’t bi. Boom, not LGBT+. But somehow or another, I started pinning a lot of sjw and human rights related things on pinterest (tumblr screenshots mostly, actually. I had a tumblr then, but like never used it) and by doing that, more of it started showing up in that feed. With the sjw stuff came a lot of posts about the LGBT+ community in general, and one day I came across an Ace Positivity post. Reading it felt…oddly familiar, and I googled asexuality to learn more. 

Oh. 

Well, that makes a lot of sense. 

It wasn’t until later that month that I finally got up the courage to officially attach the label to myself. When I finally did, it felt strange and foreign to say. 

“I am asexual.” 

I didn’t even really know what that meant for me, but I knew it was true. A month later I told my boyfriend about it when I saw him at a family get together. He is the only living soul in my real life that I have told. Everyone else thinks I’m straight. And I (usually) don’t feel the need to correct them. Because I still feel straight sometimes, especially in the eyes of the world. As far as I’m concerned, my sex life isn’t anybody’s business besides mine and my partner’s, so why should I announce to the world that there’s something more complicated going on beneath the surface of what they see? 

It wasn’t til I started to be more active on tumblr that I really started to feel comfortable in my own orientation. I started getting involved in fandoms and I met other people who, wonder of wonders, had similar thoughts, feelings, and experiences that I did about sex. From @the-asexual-reaper and @pleaseletthisjimbetaken to @randomslasher, @logically-asexual, @what-even-is-thiss, and several others, I began to realize that being ace wasn’t strange or weird, it was normal, it was even something to celebrate. It hasn’t even been a full year of me knowing what asexuality is and I’ve learned so much about asexuality and myself in that time, it’s honestly kind of mind boggling. Recently, I even did something that may seem small, but actually was kinda important to me: I was taking an online survey about campus demographics or something, and I came to a question asking about sexual orientation. It listed several, and then had an “other” box where you could type one in if yours wasn’t represented. I almost clicked “straight” without thinking, but then I saw the “other” box…and I clicked it. I typed “asexual” into the blank space, and submitted the survey. Even though the survey was anonymous, it felt like a big deal. That was the first time I admitted to anybody outside the realm of tumblr or my romantic relationship that I was anything other than straight. It was weird, but…kind of nice.

So, I’ve rambled for a long time, and it’s taken me way longer than it should have realistically to write this, but this is what I’m getting at. There are times when I feel funny about calling myself LGBT+, but the reasons that I give for myself to feel that way are honestly frighteningly similar if not identical to what people who want to erase my identity completely say. And hell, even if you don’t think I’m LGBT+, don’t you dare take the asexual community away from me. Without it, I would still be terrified to even voice my fears about sex to my boyfriend, and the growing likelihood/closeness of my wedding night would cause me even more anxiety. And even on days when I feel like I haven’t “earned the right” to be counted among the LGBT+ community, this is what I believe. I believe that all asexual people should be included and represented in the LGBT+ community, because it is important that our orientations be seen. 

All asexual people should be represented, from split model aces to aro aces to trans aces to demi aces, to gray aces, to every other kind of ace, because if we are not, then the cycle of believing that you’re broken or wrong or inadequate or out of place will continue for young aces who weren’t as luckily oblivious as I was. All asexual people need to be represented in the LGBT+ community, so we can support our bi and pan siblings who face similar erasure, all ace people need to be represented so that we can find each other and share our stories, and make our voices heard. 

We’re here, we’re real, and we’re not going away. 

All asexual people need to be represented, so that every person who’s questioning knows that it’s ok to click the “other” box. 

[glen-communist]

Redefining What It Means To Be Feminine

This is an essay I wrote for a college creative writing class and I really liked the way it turned out...

For a 20-year-old college student, I’ve been on relatively few dates. My experiences with romance and sexuality started right at the tail end of my high school career. That one year-long relationship has since ended, and due mostly to a global pandemic, my days of dating have come to a halt. However, I’ve been single for over a year-and-a-half now, and there was a period of time when dating apps were my whole life. Looking back, I am very happy that phase of mine is over, but it does give me some perspective into my relationship with dating. For context, I am a pansexual, cisgender woman that has only ever dated men. This is mostly because I have no experience or knowledge about dating in a way that is not heteronormative. I was discouraged from dating when I was younger, and I never really had any desire to do so before my first boyfriend. So, when that first ever experience ended, I only had the examples of dating from media and society around me to call on, and those are disproportionately heterosexual.

My nature has always been questioning, especially in terms of societal norms. When I was a child, I would ask my mother why my Barbie dolls were all blonde or why my furniture was all pink. As I’ve grown up, those questions have turned into why is it wrong for me to love my body at a size 18 and why do I have to shave my legs when I don’t want to? In the comfort of my own home or when I’m surrounded by anonymous strangers at the grocery store, I am completely content with not shaving for weeks or not wearing any makeup to try to cover up my acne. However, I would always feel like I had to follow these societal norms on a date. I really pride myself on being extremely progressive and accepting, but I could not challenge the status quo when it came to dating. There is so much pressure to fit into the box of “feminine” when going on a date with someone “masculine.” When queerness is added to the mix, the reality of what it means to be a “feminine” woman is challenged further.

The history of human beings is mainly heteronormative and patriarchal. Besides for the occasional queen, men have always been in power and men have always defined what it means to be a woman. Women were deemed inferior by men. A woman’s biological ability to give birth and her natural ability to nurture children were what made her weak. For centuries, women have been confined to the roles of mother and housewife. And for American women, this assumption did not start changing until the latter half of the 20th Century. American women were needed for the workforce during WWII, but once the war was over, they did not want to go back to being second class citizens. Women were given a taste of equality and a life outside of the patriarchy; a chance to define what being a woman meant for themselves and they did not want to give that up. This desire for equality translated into the Women’s Liberation movements of the 1960’s and 70’s. At the same time, LGBTQ+ people and people of color in America were fighting for their equality, as well, through the Gay Rights and Civil Rights movements. It has been over 50 years since these movements for change have started, and a lot of good has happened. However, American society is still plagued by sexism, racism, homophobia, and transphobia. It is still widely accepted that heterosexuality is the norm. It is considered radical for a woman to call herself a feminist. Black Americans are still protesting in the streets for equal treatment by police and policies. American society is in flux, but challenging the status quo is becoming more common, especially for young people.

If I was born just 20 years earlier, I would not be able to re-define my femininity in the way that I am now. Because I was raised with easy access to the internet, I have been able to teach myself about cultures unlike the one I grew up in and find solidarity in communities online. I learned what it meant to be a feminist at a very early point in my adolescence. Through websites like Tumblr, I met and followed people from the LGBTQ+ community. I was able to redefine my own identity. My parents are both heterosexual, conservative Christians, and I also identified that way as a child until I was able to teach myself about alternatives. Being able to read about the experiences of others on the internet that were of a different race, sexuality, or gender identity from my own, helped me become extremely open-minded and define my own sexuality. But as I learn more about gender studies in my college classes, I find myself at another turning point in my life to re-define what it means to be feminine.

The intersectionality of race, sexuality, and gender challenges traditional gender roles and norms to an extreme. I am consistently surprised when I find out that a peer of mine is LGBTQ+ when they do not fit into the stereotype of a “gay” person. Why is it assumed that gay men are feminine and gay women are masculine? Gender identity and sexuality are intersectional things for most people, but someone’s understanding of their identity can be pushed into boxes by stereotypes and norms that they probably do not fit into. After a person comes out as trans, it is almost always assumed that they are heterosexual; however, this is not always the case. A lesbian trans woman might be completely fine with disclosing her gender identity, but not her sexuality because it might threaten the validity of her identity as a trans woman within societal norms. We have come a long way since WWII, but American society is still not caught up to intersectionality.

I have discovered how my internalized misogyny and heteronormativity impacted my dating life. While I identify as pansexual – attraction regardless of gender identity – I have only ever gone out with straight men out of fear. I would change my habits to fit into a “feminine” box on these dates. I would wear makeup and shave my legs, despite my own desire not to. I would never wear heels, even if I really wanted to, because I did not want to be taller than my male date. I would wear dresses that made me look thinner because I did not want to be ���too fat.” I would stop myself from talking about school because I did not want to come off as nerdy or too smart. Unless they asked, I would not disclose my sexuality because I did not want to answer questions about threesomes. I desperately wanted to fit into the box of “feminine” and “womanly” so much that I didn’t feel like myself anymore. So, now I know I need to re-define what “feminine” means to me.

Feminine means being unapologetically yourself. I can wear flowy dresses and heels without wearing makeup or shaving my legs and still be feminine. I can be taller and smarter than my male date and still be feminine without threatening his masculinity. I can ask out a woman and still be feminine. The adjectives of “feminine” and “masculine” do not need to be reserved for specific genders. An athletic woman is just as emotional and masculine as she is strong and feminine. A male dancer should not be automatically assumed gay or mocked for not being “masculine enough.” Gender roles and norms are just as harmful to men and women. The adjectives of “feminine” and “masculine” should be a part of everyone’s intersectional identity and vocabulary. Femininity is strength, resilience, intelligence, and power, and should be a cherished part of everyone’s identity as human beings.

[mystudentsblog]

Domestic violence is a serious threat for many women. Know the signs of an abusive relationship and how to leave a dangerous situation.

Domestic violence   also called intimate partner violence occurs between people in an intimate relationship. Domestic violence can take many forms, including emotional, sexual and physical abuse and threats of abuse. Domestic violence can happen in heterosexual or same-sex relationships.

Abusive relationships always involve an imbalance of power and control. An abuser uses intimidating, hurtful words and behaviors to control his or her partner.

It might not be easy to identify domestic violence at first. While some relationships are clearly abusive from the outset, abuse often starts subtly and gets worse over time. You might be experiencing domestic violence if you’re in a relationship with someone who:

Calls you names, insults you or puts you down

Prevents or discourages you from going to work or school or seeing family members or friends

Tries to control how you spend money, where you go, what medicines you take or what you wear

Acts jealous or possessive or constantly accuses you of being unfaithful

Gets angry when drinking alcohol or using drugs

Tries to control whether you can see a health care provider

Threatens you with violence or a weapon

Hits, kicks, shoves, slaps, chokes or otherwise hurts you, your children or your pets

Forces you to have sex or engage in sexual acts against your wil

Domestic violence or intimate partner violence is a pattern of assaultive and coercive behaviours including physical, sexual and psychological attacks, as well as economic coercion used by adults or adolescents against their current or former intimate partners. Examples of physical abuse include slapping, shaking, beating with fist or object, strangulation, burning, kicking and threats with a knife. Sexual abuse includes coerced sex through threats or intimidation or through physical force, forcing unwanted sexual acts, forcing sex in front of others and forcing sex with others. Psychological abuse involves isolation from others, excessive jealousy, control of his or her activities, verbal aggression, intimidation through destruction of property, harassment or stalking, threats of violence and constant belittling and humiliation

  Frightened woman and a man who wants to hit in the head

  Together, we can break the silence. Everyday news reports of celebrities and athletes involved in abusive relationships have made it very clear that this issue knows no socio-economic, racial, or cultural boundary.

Domestic violence affects both women and businesses, as most women work and do not leave abuse behind while at the workplace. Abusers often harass their partners at work. In worse case scenarios, abusers come to the workplace and threaten their partners and their co-workers.

Signs of Domestic Violence

Recognizing the signs of domestic violence is the first step to intervention. If you notice any of the following signs, it could be an indicator that your friend is in an abusive relationship. If they:

Seem to be under emotional distress, depressed, feeling self-doubt or shame

Seem isolated, unusually quiet, or anxious around family or friends

Have unexplained bruises and/or injuries

Act differently or strangely in social situations, at work, or at school

Wear unseasonable clothing, like long sleeves in the summer

Give explanations that don’t add up

Are often tardy or miss work or school, or frequently cancel plans

Receive disruptive and excessive phone calls, texts, emails, or frequent visits from a partner

Act fearful around their partner

Have a partner who is emotionally abusive, and belittles and insults them in front of other people

Have a partner who is extremely controlling (socially, financially, or over appearance)

          SAY NO TO DOMESTIC VOILENCE

  Things We Can Do to Reduce Domestic Violence

WHAT YOU CAN DO TO PREVENT VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN

While both men and women can be victims of violence, violence against women, often at the hands of men, is a unique category of violence that relies on the historical and current unequal balance of power between men and women, boys and girls. Violence against women is the crucial element that reinforces men’s power and control over women throughout the world. On some level, most of us participate in the culture that supports and encourages violence against women and girls, in both small ways (like telling our friends to “man up” when they have to do something difficult) to large ways (beating and raping women and girls). Here are some small and big ways we can work to end it, or at least interrupt it, every single day.

For everyone:

Educate yourself on violence against women; learn the facts and the prevalence

Believe survivors

Contact your local legislators and political leaders and advocate for tougher laws against perpetrators of violence against women

Know that dating violence & sexual assault affects 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys by the time they are 18

Contact your local school board and ask them to address sexual harassment in schools

Speak out against all forms of violence

Question gender roles and assumptions

Respect and embrace diversity

Respect a person’s-even a child’s- right to say no

Respect your partner’s right to disagree or have their own opinion

Don’t blame victims, and reinforce that rape is never the victim’s fault

Strive for equality for everyone

Understand that putting boys and men down by calling them “ladies” and “girls” hurts everyone

Speak out against the media’s portrayal of violence

Learn how racism, sexism and homophobia are connected

Acknowledge that it does happen in your own community

Learn about power and control tactics

Attend Take Back the Night events

Ask permission before pursuing physical or sexual contact with someone

Realize that sexual violence is about power and control, not sex

Teach kids that respect is the minimum in a relationship, and lead by example

Advocate for victim’s rights

Ask your priest, rabbi, pastor, cleric, or spiritual leader to hold a special service to raise awareness and promote safety for victims and accountability for perpetrators.

Avoid engaging in, supporting or encouraging sexual harassment by speaking up when you see or hear it

Teach kids that violence will not solve problems

Know that most sex offenders aren’t strangers · 86% are known to their victim

Avoid making threats or using coercion and pressure to get sex

Be courageous; don’t be afraid to speak up for those who have lost their voice or dignity

Praise women and girls for something other than the way they look

Speak out against racist, sexist or homophobic jokes

Advocate for more youth violence prevention programs

Get others to speak out against sexual violence

Stop your sexual advances if the other person says no and encourage others to do the same

Avoid buying music that glorifies sexual violence and the objectification of women and girls

Urge your local radio stations to stop playing music that contains violent lyrics

Applaud others who speak out against violence and oppression

Invite a speaker from HAVEN to share with your class, work or community group

Pledge to never commit or condone acts of violence

Stop yourself or others from taking advantage of someone who is intoxicated

Make a decision to become an active bystander by speaking up and calling for help when necessary

Respect the choices victims and survivors make to survive

Encourage your local college and universities to offer prevention education to students

Empathize

Work toward eliminating oppression of all kinds

Think globally and act locally

Hold perpetrators accountable for disrespecting their partners when you see it or hear it

Engage others in discussions about violence against women

Learn about healthy boundaries and don’t be afraid to voice your feelings in your relationship

Notice when someone invades your boundaries

Report it if you witness sexual harassment in your school or workplace

Post awareness materials in restrooms and break rooms for easy & confidential accessibility

Celebrate all aspects of masculinity, including compassion and sensitivity

For men:

Choose your words carefully and respectfully when speaking of women in your life

Show your strength by speaking up to men who are using their strength for hurting

Refuse to let TV, movies, music or other people define what it means to be a man for you

Understand that it takes more than just not being a batterer or a rapist to be a good guy

Treat all women and girls with respect

Don’t patronize sex workers or strip clubs

Ask, don’t assume you know what your partner wants

Get involved with the Men Can Stop Rape movement at http://www.mencanstoprape.com

Refuse to coerce or manipulate your partner in order to get your way; be willing to compromise

  SAY NO TO DOMESTIC VOILENCE

SAY NO TO DOMESTIC VOILENCE Domestic violence is a serious threat for many women. Know the signs of an abusive relationship and how to leave a dangerous situation.

[sexedforthelastinbed-blog]

Asexuality

Asexuality is typically accepted as the lack of sexual attraction to other people (Chasin, 2013). In the following interviews, two people that identify themselves as being a part of the asexual spectrum were asked about their knowledge of sexual education and representation of their sexuality in a sex ed class. Asexuality plays into sex ed in a very distinct way, as the following interviews highlight; due to the lack of interest in sex, the typical abstinence sex ed treatment settled a little differently with them compared to the other interviewees.

Ghost:

At what age did you take sex ed?

Maybe 13? I was in the 8th grade, I’m pretty sure.

What were your major takeaways from sex ed?

There are hundred of STDs in the world and, as a woman, I’m very prone to contracting them.

Did you feel like your sexual identity was being represented?

Well, I thought so at the time. I thought I was cookie-cutter straight back then, I didn’t even know demisexuality was a thing.

Did you feel like your sexuality influenced how you took in the information?

Yeah, it did. I was never really interested in sex, so the whole class that focused on abstinence and all the terrible things that could happen as a result of sex was really right up my ally. I just kinda took all that as ammunition against having sex.

Did you feel like your sex ed class influenced how you perceived your own sexuality?

It pushed me away from the notion of ever even considering to want sex.

Was there anything about sex ed or your own sexuality that you had to learn outside of an actual sex ed class?

I had to learn everything about my sexuality outside of sex ed.

How did stereotypes and preconceived ideas about sex ed play into your education?

I guess I had some stereotypes about, you know, sex always being painful for a woman and getting an STD was basically like getting the plague. It would be like signing a death warrant if you had sex and contracted one.

How much do you know about contraceptives?

A little bit. I know about condoms (male and female) and birth control pills.

How was sex perceived in your household and do you think that race/class/religion had anything to do with it?

I maybe had the beginnings of a discussion one time with my mom about it, but for the most part, it was never a topic that got brought up. My mom was pretty strict about me dating anyway, so I guess it’s a good thing that I didn’t have any interest in sex whatsoever. Maybe us being like, lower-class had something to do with it, but I know her motives were fueled mainly by her [Christian] religion.

What would you add, if anything, to sex ed in the future so that more people would be knowledgeable about sex and sexual orientations, esp. your own?

Let’s please actually teach people how to have safe sex instead of just having a class that’s a horror show of STDs. And I would kill to have them include the spectrum of sexualities to give kids some inkling as to what’s actually out there. 

What is your view on sex as someone on the asexual spectrum?

I don’t really care for it. I’ve never had it and it doesn’t really bother me if I never do. I think I could one day if it’s with someone that I really liked and trusted, but like I said, it’s not an experience I can’t live without.

How did your lack of sexuality play into your experience living in a world where sexuality is treated as the norm? Did that change between your teenage years and your adulthood?

I was always the weird kid who never had an interest in boys. Or girls. I just didn’t care about having a relationship and I sure as hell didn’t want to have sex. As I grew older and I figured out that I was demi, it all made so much more sense to me. It was like this realization that it wasn’t just something that was wrong with me, you know? I grew a lot more comfortable with it.

When/how did you realize you were on the asexual spectrum?

I ran across the term online once. It was like this glossary of asexual terms and the definition just fit me perfectly.

What kind of a unique connection did you think there was between your asexuality and your sexual education? Do you feel like it gave you a certain privilege or did it hinder you?

I think it just discouraged me from having sex even more. I feel like the abstinence-only sex ed just went right along with my own mentality, but at the same time, I don’t know jack about having sex if I ever do in the future. I’m so underprepared.

What do you know about the difference between sexual attraction and romantic attraction? Did you learn anything about this distinction in your sexual education?

I didn’t learn about it in sex ed, but I did through like, internet culture. There was another realization that hit me out of the blue like, “Oh! I can like this person and just not have this desire to bang them. Neat!” It’s something that I feel like is really important for people in the asexual community. It’s like, we’re not prude and we’re not these cold, unfeeling bastards, we just aren’t that into sex. We can still have strong romantic feelings for someone.

Winter:

At what age did you take sex ed?

I don’t think I ever did.

What were your major takeaways from sex ed?

Don’t get pregnant.

Did you feel like your sexual identity was being represented?

No, I had no idea it existed until 10th grade.

Did you feel like your sexuality influenced how you took in the information?

I don’t believe so, not that I can tell.

Did you feel like your sex ed class influenced how you perceived your own sexuality?

It made me scared of any type of relationship or anything to do with sex.

Was there anything about sex ed or your own sexuality that you had to learn outside of an actual sex ed class?

YES.

How did stereotypes and preconceived ideas about sex ed play into your education?

I thought that the worst things that would happen would be either getting an STD or getting knocked up. They would be the worst parts of your existence.

How much do you know about contraceptives?

A bit, I did the patch for a while and had some bad side affects. I heard a lot of horror stories about them, so I decided not to use them.

How was sex perceived in your household and do you think that race/class/religion had anything to do with it?

We didn’t talk about it, parent’s just didn’t really care. I remember having a conversation with my mother about having sex out of marriage and how it was okay as long as you trusted the other person.

What would you add, if anything, to sex ed in the future so that more people would be knowledgable about sex and sexual orientations, esp. your own?

I would like to have an actual class about it and not just focus on heterosexuality.

What is your view on sex as someone on the asexual spectrum?

I don’t mind it, I don’t really care that much about it. I’ll have it, but it’s just an act.

How did your lack of sexuality play into your experience living in a world where sexuality is treated as the norm? Did that change between your teenage years and your adulthood?

Growing up in high school, I wasn’t really interested in anything or anyone and I thought there was something wrong. I thought the same thing through part of college, but now I know more about my sexuality and I’m more comfortable exploring it.

When/how did you realize you were on the asexual spectrum?

I had a certain friend about how I was feeling about not being attracted to people and she said, “Hey, you know that’s a form of asexuality.” It went off from there.

What kind of a unique connection did you think there was between your asexuality and your sexual education? Do you feel like it gave you a certain privilege or did it hinder you?

I don’t know, I never really thought about it. I remember being taught about abstinence before marriage, but no one else was really doing it, so…

What do you know about the difference between sexual attraction and romantic attraction? Did you learn anything about this distinction in your sexual education?

Not in my sex ed, but I learned through seeing someone and having a thought about how I’d have sex with them. It’d pass in a little while, but with someone I have an emotional connection to, it lasts for a lot longer.

Generally, Western sexual education fails to take asexuality (as well as many other non-hetero sexualities) into account. Even looking at interviews from outside of this section, diverse sexualities aren’t being taught to any kind of extent. And since asexuality deals with a lack of sexual attraction, then it must deal with a lack of sex at all, right? Therefore, asexual people wouldn’t need to know anything about sex, yes? Nope. Though there are plenty of asexuals (or aces, as many refer to the community) that don’t care for sex, there are still many that do engage in sexual activities for one reason or another (Chasin, 2013). Not to mention the fact that there are a lot that also simply need to know about their own bodies, general sex health, etc. Aces need sex ed, too.

[alvizbeldamarcos]

Bi, Bi, Bi: Bisexual Invisibility in the Philippines

by Jessica Alviz

History and Background

Bi Flags at the NYC Pride March from Medium

In this more progressive world, people are increasingly letting go of traditionalist views and accepting that the world is not in black and white: Caucasians are no longer deemed as the superior race, it is now relatively acceptable for boys to wear skirts and makeup, and girls who like girls and boys who like boys? Completely normal. However, the world isn’t as pleasant for those who like both. Until today, bisexual erasure and invisibility remains a problem. Bisexual erasure is when “the existence or legitimacy  of bisexuality (either in general or in regard to an individual) is questioned or denied outright” (GLAAD, 2014). Bisexuals have described their experience as being neither here nor there, as they are attracted to more than one gender. Others—whether they are heterosexual or from the LGBTQ+ community themselves—have thought that bisexuals are either not straight enough to be gay, or not gay enough to be straight. A bisexual has narrated about this cognitive dissonance in Bisexual Blues (Hase, 2005) stating that she finds it easier to define her sexuality through the people that she dates, and because she is dating a man, she feels as if she does not belong in the LGBTQ+ community, because she is deemed as “straight.” She mentioned that she “feels as though she has to exchange an entire community to be with one person.” Furthermore, bisexuality is commonly described as a “phase” for people before fully discovering that they are actually either gay or lesbian (San Francisco Human Rights Commission, 2011). Some even believe that bisexuals are actually just heterosexuals who are experimenting with their sexuality (Serano, 2010).

The marginalization of bisexuals within the LGBTQ+ community is not new: during the first LGBTQ+ movements, bisexuals were excluded because they were being accused of “reinforcing the gender binary” (Serano, 2010). Serano states that this discrimination is not surprising. Because bisexuals can be attracted to the opposite gender, homosexuals find the existence of bisexuals threatening to their own identity. This is due to the heteronormative notion of homosexuality being phase and the notion that homosexuals can become straight if they try. This also explains why bisexuals are accepted only conditionally in the LGBTQ+ community. For instance, if a bisexual man is in a relationship with another man, he is included in the community. However, once that bisexual man dates a woman, especially if this woman is cisgender (identifies as the gender they were assigned to at birth), the man would be ostracized and marginalized.    

Philippine Context

Although the LGBTQ+ community is slowly getting more recognition in the country, bisexuals remain invisible. This is most probably due to the following reasons: first, majority of Filipinos hold traditional and conservative views rooted in the teachings of the Catholic Church. Second, the Philippines has its own cultural perceptions about the LGBTQ+ community.

Homophobia is not as widespread or intense as one would expect of a predominantly Catholic country. However, Christian views on homosexuality remain almost adamant. After all, in theory, Catholics believe that following the Church’s teachings is key to being a good member of their religion, and the Church portrays homosexuality as something immoral. Sharing the Bible’s heteronormative outlook and existing gender order, the Church views homosexuality as an ethical concern, a medical condition, and/or a sexual misidentity (Joaquin, 2014). Though homosexuals are not outright excommunicated from the Church, they are discouraged from acting on their homosexual desires. Homosexuality is treated as something that needs to be corrected or cured, and the Church uses prayers, sacraments, celibacy, and guilt in order to “fix” a person’s homosexuality. And because bisexuality, in simplest terms, can be understood as being straight and gay at the same time, of course believers of the Catholic Church would urge bisexuals to “turn” heterosexual.

Vice Ganda from ABS-CBN

With the Church’s dominant ideologies of heteronormativity, as well as the Western dichotomous view on gender and sexuality brought about by the Spaniards (de Jong, 2017), there is a good amount of cultural shame linked to being homosexual in the Philippines. In the first place, there are no Filipino terms for “sexuality,” nor categories for sexual orientation (Ceperiano, Santos Jr., Alonzo, & Ofreneo, 2016). There are only street words--which might even be considered as derogatory--to describe such categories, because homosexuality is not talked about at all (Joaquin, 2014). Furthermore, the concepts of sexuality and gender are merged. While the Westerners’ concept of a gay man is a man who is sexually attracted to other men, it is not quite the same for Filipinos. In the Philippines, the closest local term for “gay” is bakla, which is an effeminate man attracted to other men (de Jong, 2017). The bakla is even often described as “having a woman’s heart stuck in a man’s body,” a representation much closer to the Western concept of a transgender rather than a gay man. The concept of bakla is also heavily attached to certain stereotypes, most of which come from mainstream media (Justiniani & Sierras, 2015). Typically, the bakla is portrayed as a man who dresses and acts like a woman, a flamboyant and theatrical man, or comic relief.  This entertainment factor of a bakla--seen also in the most prominent bakla figure in the Philippines, comedian Vice Ganda--is perhaps one of the reasons why they are tolerated in the society.

The Philippine concept of a lesbian is also mixed with gender expression. The local term for this is tomboy, which, from the name itself, is also attached to the image of a masculine woman (Tiempo, n.d.). A tomboy is characterized by being boyish, tough, and manly, with cross-dressing as a major feature of their personality. Compared to the bakla, they are not as present in Philippine media.

Butch (Masculine Lesbian) and Femme (Feminine Lesbian) Wedding Picture from Pinterest

Given these, the only Philippine concepts for gays and lesbians are stereotypes. Once they act outside of these societal expectations, they are not considered socially acceptable. This is also possibly due to the heteronormative beliefs that the country has. Heteronormativity is the concept in which heterosexuality is the norm and homosexuality is deviant (Joaquin, 2014). To justify homosexual relationships, the Philippines has attached gender to sexuality. This enables homosexual relationships to fit into a heteronormative standard: because the bakla is effeminate, and the tomboy is masculine, the concept of a man and a woman in a relationship still exists if the bakla or tomboy’s partner is of the opposite gender expression.

Since Philippine homosexuals are subjected to this stereotyping, it is only natural for those that lie in between the homo-hetero spectrum to be the same. The Philippines already has misconceptions about homosexuals themselves--what more for bisexuals, those who love both? They have no concept of this at all, evident in how there is general confusion about who Filipinos perceive as bisexual (Tan, 1996). Sometimes, gay men identify as bisexual even though they are only attracted to men to indicate that they are the “straight-acting” type of gay. Bisexuality is not a concept written into Filipino language and culture. An example of bi-invisibility is in the following passage:

Sam (24 years old, F): Sam’s mother, upon hearing about how her boyfriend sexually abused Sam, told Sam that her boyfriend would not harass a “lesbian” like Sam even though Sam explicitly came out to her as bisexual. Sam’s friends also ask her questions like “Why can’t [you] just date a guy” and “Why can’t [you] just date a girl?” (International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission, 2015), implying that they only consider “lesbian” and “straight” as the legitimate sexual orientations.

There is also a lack of research about bisexuals in the Philippines, as seen in how  there is a lack of data and respondents in interviews (Rainbow Rights Project, 2014). Available research is primarily about gays or lesbians. To make up for the lack of available research, short interviews were conducted with teenage Filipino bisexuals. The questions in the interview mainly focused on perceptions about being bisexual,  bisexual acceptance, and bisexual visibility.

Several of the respondents mentioned that there have been times when their bisexuality was accused of being a phase, or otherwise an illegitimate sexuality. A participant said that when she came out to her peers, they did not believe her at first, as she had only ever talked about her male crushes around them. They even accused her of only calling herself bisexual for the sake of being trendy, as she mentioned her sexuality when “coming out videos” were popular. Another participant, who came from an all-girls high school, mentioned that when she talked about her female crushes, her friends would merely laugh along but insist that it was merely a phase and that she would become more attracted to men in college.

A respondent mentioned that due to the notion of bisexuality being a phase, she herself found it difficult to accept her sexuality:

My acceptance of my bisexuality was difficult because I feared it would mean that my identity up until that point would be rendered invalid. So in the past, when people were doubtful about my sexuality, it was because people didn’t think I was gay, and it made me very conflicted because I had a feeling they were somewhat right. Deep inside, I still feel like it’s a bit of a loss that I accepted being bisexual, and that currently I’m dating a guy. But I always tell myself that my sexuality is a part of a spectrum, and that I don’t have to prove myself to anyone. I understand my sexuality, and that is enough.

Again, it can be seen that there is cognitive dissonance: this bisexual is defining her sexuality through external factors, i.e. the person that she is currently attracted to at the time. There is confusion because of the false sexuality binary that was socially constructed by people, leading them to believe that one can only either be gay or straight.

As for the visibility of bisexuality in general, the respondents agree that it is not acknowledged much. One respondent mentioned that most people are skeptical about bisexuality, often saying that it is not a legitimate sexual orientation and that bisexuals are merely “confused” about their “real” sexuality. Another participant said that she feels that bisexuals are not represented enough in media--the LGBTQ+ community in general is underrepresented, but she mentions that compared to the more “definite” sexualities of gays and lesbians, bisexuals are barely seen on television and film. A third respondent lamented the extreme underrepresentation of bisexuals. She said that even in a school as liberal as the University of the Philippines, being heterosexual is the norm (it is a co-ed school after all). She also mentioned the situation of the LGBTQ+ people: “If people are gay, they either represent a spectacle or the movement. There’s no in-between region for bisexual people, we’re not defined by a certain institution [and] not even by a stereotype.”

The participants had differing views about the situation of bisexuals in the Philippines. When asked if bisexuality is accepted or at least acknowledged in the Philippines, a respondent mentioned that it is acknowledged but not accepted. She blames on the patriarchal and traditionalist values that majority of the country hold. Another participant agreed with this, saying that it is not accepted, though she says this is mostly due to Catholicism. She also said that it is mostly the older generations that do not tolerate it; most of the youth are more accepting towards bisexuality, which she correlates with awareness gained from social media as well as general open-mindedness. A third also shares this sentiment, saying that acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community in general is conditional: “ I have noticed the trend wherein we need to be beneficial for straight people for them to accept us. Our LGBT members to compensate more by being funny or being the fun friend.” This is in line with the aforementioned “entertainment factor” that is promoted by Vice Ganda.

One participant, however, says that bisexuality is not acknowledged at all: bisexuality is hardly a topic even in gay organizations, and bisexual representation in pride marches is minimal. She says that in general, people are unable to comprehend bisexuality, as they believe that it is merely a sexuality used as a label for justifying promiscuity. Another respondent echoes this:

Bisexuality is not entirely accepted. In my opinion, many don’t even understand what it means. The culture in the Philippines towards LGBTQ+ is more tolerant than accepting, and this leads to ignorance or apathy towards the community. Here, mostly gays and lesbians are the emphasized and known orientations, and this selective knowledge begets ignorance towards the feelings towards bisexuals, which may affect one’s perceptions about validity.

Bi the way, we exist | Viet Vu from Youtube

Conclusion

The fight is not quite over yet. Despite the LGBTQ+ community's growing acceptance, they remain marginalized in society, having to fit into the expectations that Philippine culture imposes on them. Furthermore, with only the recognition and focus on gays and lesbians, the “singular” sexual orientations, other sexual preferences are left in the dark, particularly bisexuality.

Because of the heteronormative and dichotomous view on gender and sexuality, bisexuality is, if not ignored, misunderstood. It is not seen as a valid sexual orientation and is typically accused of being an excuse for promiscuity, a confused sexuality, or the stepping stone to being “fully gay.” The Philippines still has a long way to go before everyone becomes truly free. I am unsure if will be around to see it, but as someone who also loves regardless of gender, I will gladly join the fight.

References

de Jong, A. (2017, February 15). Bakla. The creation of a Philippine gay-identity. Retrieved from https://www.academia.edu/5155866/Bakla._The_creation_of_a_Philippine_gay-identity.

GLAAD. (2014, September 19). Erasure of Bisexuality. Retrieved from GLAAD: https://www.glaad.org/bisexual/bierasure

Hase, M. (2005, November-December). Bisexual Blues. Off Our Backs, pp. 18-19.

Joaquin, A. (2014). Carrying the Cross: Being Gay , Catholic , and Filipino. Sociology and Anthropology Student Union Undergraduate Journal. 1 (2014). 17-28. Retrieved from http://summit.sfu.ca/item/15203.

Justiniani, B., & Sierras, N. (2015, August 13). Has love really won? Retrieved from The Lasallian: http://thelasallian.com/2015/08/13/has-love-really-won/.

Serano, J. (2010, October 9). Bisexuality does not reinforce the gender binary. Retrieved from The Scavenger: http://www.thescavenger.net/sex-gender-sexual-diversity/glb-diversity/467-bisexuality-does-not-reinforce-the-gender-binary-39675.html.

San Francisco Human Rights Commission. (2011, March). Bisexual Invisibility: Impacts and Recommendations. Retrieved from San Francisco Human Rights: https://sf-hrc.org/Modules/ShowDocument.aspx?documentid=989

Tiempo, J.M. (n.d.) Descriptive analysis on the portrayal of gays and lesbians in Filipino films since 1985-2015. Retrieved from https://www.academia.edu/29636048/Descriptive_analysis_on_the_portrayal_of_gays_and_lesbians_in_Filipino_films_since_1985-2015.

[kindcstguardian]

MISC.

NAME. Allison Greyjoy BIRTHDAY. April 2nd. AGE. 18-24. BLOOD TYPE. AB+. LANGUAGES. French, English &&. Spanish. GENDER. Female. SEXUALITY. Heterosexual demiromantic. STATUS. Multiship. OCCUPATION.  Infirmary &&. nursery student. 

VERSES.

Fandomless interactions / Default verse - 17 years old. TAG.「 V • Student ; Allison ／ ˢᵘⁿˢʰⁱⁿᵉ 」    She still lives with her abusive father and attends her last year of school without considering the possibility of leaving him behind. However, she’s thinking in attending university given she has a schoolarship: she is debating whether to choose nursery school teacher or pastry chef.

Fandomless interactions / Default ending - 23 years old. TAG.「 E0 • Living ; Allison ／ ᵏᵉᵉᵖ ᵐᵒᵛⁱⁿᵍ ᶠᵒʳʷᵃʳᵈˢ 」   After receiving the help from the Salvatici household, a trial took place and her father was sent to jail     it was a small step at her point of view  ( her friends found this admirable, though )  and she still feared everything, truth be told. She disliked her weak self and how dependant she was of Cyrel hence why, with the money she earn, bought a small house with a garden.    It’s not like she cut ties with everyone, but balancing her work with her two careers was tough but this time around she wasn’t going to let life pass her by.

Obey me verse - 23 years old. TAG.「 𝐎𝐛𝐞𝐲 𝐦𝐞 ; Allison ／ ⁱ ʰᵒᵖᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵘⁿ ʷⁱˡˡ ʳⁱˢᵉ 」 Takes the role of MC, after the events of her default ending.

   Life kept simply targeting her and she simply gave up fighting when she was dragged against her will to The Devildom     instead, she fully accepted her fate as an exchange ( human ) student in RAD. As a devoted believer of God, she tried to understand why of all humans she was chosen and, perhaps, being involved with not-so-holy creatures might have been the root of it, frowning at her friends from hiding their nature around her regardless of being fully aware of what they were.    Sighing heavily at her current situation, she decided to do her best and try to stay in her best behavior. Unlike Earth in which she had allies, here she had no one, and those who claimed being friends, were suspicious. But she is grateful at Diavolo for allowing her to stay in The House of Lamentation, surrounding herself with the Avatar of the Seven Deadly Sins ought to provide some sort of pretend sense of security.

Amour Sucre / My Candy Love - 17 years old. TAG.「 V ♡ MCL ; Allison ／ ᴸᵃˢᵗ ʸᵉᵃʳ···ᴬˡᵐᵒˢᵗ ᵃ ⁿᵉʷ ˢᵗᵃʳᵗ 」    Allison has been attending this institution known as Sweet Amorris since she started first year of highschool and is currently having a good time with the few friendships she managed to make, their presence along studies surely help her mind to stay busy.    She’s happy and grateful for all the experiences but rather insecure about what will happen with her group of friends after this stage of life is over and is terrified about her own future as well given she made it this far with their support albeit she never spoke about her issues.

My Candy Love: University Life / College verse - 21 years old. TAG. 「 V ♡ MCLUL ; Allison ／ ˢᵉᵉ ʷʰⁱᶜʰ ʷᵃʸ ᵗʰᵉ ʷⁱⁿᵈ ʷⁱˡˡ ᵇˡᵒʷ 」    After vanishing for four years from France to England, a lawyer friend of Daniel took her case and made her biological father get in jail under the charges of aggravated physical and mental abuse for sharing bloodline, in short, domestic abuse.    The trial took place around a year and, in the meantime, she studied in college at England to become a nurse—different from her initial goals of turning into an elementary school teacher or pastry chef. All of this was possible because of help from his lawyer who quickly became an older brother figure of sorts.    Still, once Allison returned to France, to cover her own expenses she works in the Novak’s bakery and loves learning how to prepare baking goods and any sweet recipe that Daniel can teach her.

Eldarya / Fantasy verse - 21 years old. TAG. 「 V • Fantasy ; Allison ／ ᴸᵒˢᵗ ⁿʸᵐᵖʰ ᵈᵉˢᶜᵉⁿᵈᵃⁿᵗ 」    Because she chased after the man who stole her bag with money she had along her textbooks for her college classes, Allison stepped on a circle of witches—they appeared to be mere glowing mushrooms but once she found herself falling from the sky onto the water and having to swim her way back to the CQ…she figured out it wasn’t just that.    Now part of the Garde Ombre, she is seen generally in the library with Kero, helping with missions paperwork or walking around with a werewolf friend of hers when she has to do garde related activities.

BNHA verse. - 18 years old. TAG. 「 V ☆ BNHA ; Allison ／ ᵉᵃᶜʰ ˡⁱᶠᵉ ⁱˢ ᵖʳᵉᶜⁱᵒᵘˢ ˢᵒ ˡⁱᵛᵉ ʷⁱᵗʰ ⁿᵒ ʳᵉᵍʳᵉᵗˢ ⁱⁿ ᵗʰⁱˢ ᵒʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵒˡˡᵒʷⁱⁿᵍ ˡⁱᶠᵉ 」   QUIRK: Provoke and Localize.   HERO NAME: Beita.   CLASS: 3 - B.    Her quirks manifested at the age of only four years old, not under good circumstances...  Truth be told, they activated as soon as she felt sharp glass cutting her skin, a fresh wound across her back made by her very own father     a miserable man who could not cope with the loss of his wife that died at giving birth and blamed their only daughter, for her death. Labelling her as a killer.   The first quirk to activate had been localize which clouded entirely her field vision, only able to see everything in a dark blue hue and spot shapes of people or animals in white alongside a number. The second was... provoke,  that alone caused her father’s violence and abuse to increase at an alarming rate; when grey hues turned to face her father, she could see his shape perfectly in the dark endless abyss that surrounded her until she could deactivate her quirk consciously.    As time passed by, she decided to become a better version of herself. Her quirks initially were intertwined as she simply could not activate them separately, but she didn’t feel discouraged. She practiced every single day, she would spend most of her time in the school’s library and then change into her P.E. uniform to run in the park, activating her quirks in order to get used to them      even if it mean animals or people would chase after her, consumed by a sudden wave of negative emotions that targeted her. It was a reckless move, but it helped her learn which areas were affected and how much people, what livings she could see and the distance.    Allison was fully aware her quirks weren’t flashy or cool, that she was literally bait. That enemies could focus their sole attention and intent to kill to her, and her alone. But even then, that was arlight, a burning flame was set within her heart that yelled she would become a heroine against all odds.    The first step she took right after graduating middle school was to report her father’s domestic abuse. It hurt, it made her feel guilty having no other relative, but he couldn’t keep living like that. She couldn’t keep tolerating his behavior, but until her graduation, she had the faintest hope that he would change. But he didn’t, and now she lived with a friend’s family who took custody of her at the time.    Nowdays, she’s a third year and she didn’t foresee not even in her wildest dreams all the events that were taking place in U.A. and outside of it: the fallen symbol of peace, the sudden raise of villains, how the first years were forced to catch up with that fast non-stopping pace     with her quirk now localizing enemies in a radius of fifty meters and everyday studyng to improve, memorizing faces and gathering date of each student to see them with localize, Allison Greyjoy is aiming to be a heroine who can save those whose cries and pleads of help don’t reach everyone, voice quiet in a fear that she once felt. A stealth type of hero.

Godness verse - Over a thousand of years. TAG. 「 V • Godness ; Allison ／ ᵀᵘʳⁿⁱⁿᵍ ʷⁱˢʰᵉˢ ⁱⁿᵗᵒ ʳᵉᵃˡⁱᵗʸ 」    She’s a small goodness from a forgotten temple given her village is little after a war that killed a majority of the population.    Still, when people do remember her and pay visits, she may ocasionally grant wishes if she can truly feel the one making said wish is asking from the very bottom of their heart.

Utano prince-sama / Idol verse - 19 years old. TAG. 「 V ☆ Idol ; Allison ／ ᵘⁿᵉˣᵖᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵗᵘʳⁿ ᵒᶠ ᵉᵛᵉⁿᵗˢ, ᴴᵉᵃʳᵗˢʸ 」    Escaping from her former life in an abusive household, Agatha found her unconscious on a couple of trashbags with nasty bruises and took her under her wing. A few months later, legally taking custody of her as her guardian.    Shortly after such fate, she studied in an idol / composer & artist school in which she chose the course of idol without giving to it much thought and once, among other selected ones, got to exchange schools for a month with Saotome Academy in which her decision to become an idol stopped being pointless and started to have a meaning.    Along a couple of friends, they made their own debut under the name ʜᴇᴀʀsᴛʏ: Allison’s an official idol and is often in kid shows and ocasional starring guest in drama or romantic type of series. She will also accept request from radio shows although those don’t happen that often.

Kamigami no Asobi verse / 18 years old. TAG. 「 V • Assistant ; Allison ／ ˢᵒ·ˡⁱᶜ·ⁱ·ᵗᵘᵈᵉ 」    Not entirely aware how she ended surrounded by gods or why she was required to assist Yui in such important request, she couldn’t bring herself to hesitate. If a powerful deity had asked her to help, she must do so.

APH verse. / 17 years old. TAG. 「 V ☆ Another life ; Allison ／ ᵗᵃᵏⁱⁿᵍ ᵃ ˢᵗᵉᵖ ᶠᵒʷᵃʳᵈ」   After yet another night in which her father drank too much and the violence was beyond to what a child could resist, she ran out of the house. It wasn’t strange for her at age seven to find a spot where to sleep in the park, usually a bench or a really good bush not to tempt her luck if it was dark.    Except this time around, someone found her. Initially, she was wary and utterly scared but this man was different     just like her teachers back in school, that kind aura that her father never had. But to bring herself to trust an adult was hard, it was difficult to build a trust in a relationship she never had: her father was only sober during her birthday which was the same day as her mother’s death anniversary.    Regardless, something made her trust this man. Whether it was the utmost shock but real expression of seeing a little child with so many wounds, trembling on a park bench past midnight with no adult companion. He didn’t abruptly approach her, aware of her fear. Kneeling before her and softly speaking, it wasn’t long before she cried.    Nowdays, she currently lives with that very same man who is named Francis Bonnefoy. Thanks to that faithful encounter, she found something she never had: a family, even if it only consisted on a father and herself. 

Osomatsu-san verse / 20 years old. TAG. 「 V • Part-timer ; Allison ／ ᵗʰᵉ ˡᵃⁿᵍᵘᵃᵍᵉ ᵒᶠ ᶠˡᵒʷᵉʳˢ 」    She actually works near the Sutaba Café, in a small flower shop. Given her Japanese is not the best, she is usually seen with an albino female whom translates for her or, when on her own, speaks rather awkwardly.    However, she’s learning through constant interaction with clients and Yummikko herself.

Fandomless interactions / Plotted with starryburglar - 18 years old. TAG.「 V • A new family ; Allison ／ ᵉⁿᵈˡᵉˢˢ ʳᵒᵃᵈ 」     For once in her life, Allison decided to hold onto that hand that was reaching out for her to help. And that’s how she ended living in the road with her new brothers. 

TAGS.

「 Allison Greyjoy ／ ᶠʳᵃᵍⁱˡᵉ ⁱˡˡᵘˢⁱᵒⁿ 」

「 Allison Greyjoy ／ INQUIRY 」

「 Allison Greyjoy ／ MUSINGS 」

「 Allison Greyjoy ／ VISAGE 」

「 Allison Greyjoy ／ MANNERISMS 」

「 Allison Greyjoy ／ ROMANCE 」

「 Allison Greyjoy ／ CRACK 」

✘ ˢᵗᵃʳʳʸᵇᵘʳᵍˡᵃʳ · Nevra ♡（ ʷʰᵉⁿ ʸᵒᵘ ʰᵒˡᵈ ᵐᵉ ⁱ ᶠᵉᵉˡ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ⁱ'ᵐ ⁿᵒ ˡᵒⁿᵍᵉʳ ˡᵒˢᵗ ） 

✘ · Hiccup ♡