#hes touch and affection starved but to a different degree . but also bc i said Its Projection Time

[cherubsoda]

pogchamp projection time

[denkineptune]

♡ hi sweets just wanted to say i’m in love with how much you sent in, it made it so easy to work off of. please don’t apologize the long ones are my favorites (that’s what she said ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

I ship you with...

Satan!

the first thing he noticed about you was most likely your ambitious and calm personality- it was like a heavy aura around you. almost immediately he was drawn to you and he couldn’t help but want to get to know you better.

the first real connection was probably when you were studying for school. you needed to brush up on your biomedical knowledge since it had been a while since you were in class, and out of everyone in the house of lamentation, satan was most likely to have material to study with for your degree. i mean, you couldn’t put your education on pause even though you’re literally in a different world. 

you weren’t exactly close with satan from the get-go, but after learning about your interests in math and science and your knack for learning new languages, you two instantly hit it off. you were, according to him, “the one remotely intelligent person in this house.” he refused to talk with lucifer.

it took a while to get to know you but satan was dead-set on it. something about you was so intriguing to him, for a reason he couldn’t quite place. once he did, he realized how similar you two were. i think you’d both have to have quite the relationship before you start dating, which in my opinion is a great way to find someone. gotta have the chemistry and boy did you two have chemistry.

once you and satan do start dating, you’re probably able to get him into the things you enjoy very quickly. your relationship is filled with experimenting and you both can find new hobbies and interests because of it. for example, satan may or may not be, like, way too into k-dramas. you might have to try to wean him off of them. he tends to get really invested in characters and their stories and probably writes character analysis oop

all of your dates are very peaceful and there’s always something new to try. one of satan’s personal favorite hobbies is cooking with you. someone needs to keep beel distracted, but it’s a lot of fun! you show him how to make your favorite human world recipes and he shows you how to make popular Devildom foods. you’ll also get to learn what strange foods (like a warmeier tongue, which,,, ??) complement which spices and how to cook with ingredients that aren’t even from the human world.

speaking of food, when you two go to restaurants for dates he is very attentive when it comes to your allergies. anything involving treenuts or peanuts is always avoided, and if he thinks a Devildom foods are similar to your allergens, he’ll tell you so that you won’t get them. when you’re with satan, you won’t need to worry about reactions. if anything, he’s over-careful.

you two may have small, playful fights about if cats or dogs are better, but they aren’t ever serious. it’s all in fun, and you always agree to disagree. 

he helps you with your fears!! he will help you become more confident in the fact that you will succeed with your profession and that you’ll achieve your goals “with me by your side” if you ever have to do a presentation in front of your class, he’s gonna help you memorize everything you need and might even find some way to make it entertaining for you. he’s also not the type to have you “overcome” your fears by pushing them onto you all at once, so he won’t force you too far out of your comfort zone because there’s a reason it’s called a comfort zone lol.

you’re probably one of the only people who can make satan burst out laughing at times. as calm and collected as he usually is, you’re able to make him red to the point his cheeks hurt from holding in a laugh and he might need to step out of the room for a moment. 

satan, i think, would have the same love language as you. during the time you spend together (which is most of it) you two will be at least holding hands, laying against each other, or within a few feet of the other. satan is also the best at sweet-talk, maybe it’s bc he’s read for thousands of years but wOw he always knows what to sayyyy he so sweet 

anyways y’alls personalities complement each other so well and you’re a power couple. i can imagine this guy is really touch starved because everyone’s scared he’ll go off on them so pLEASE give him affection >3<

@mammon-ist​ 

[habibialkaysani]

okay so. a lot has been going on lately and I haven't had much time to be on here or time in general. now that the week is over tho things are starting to die down hopefully. and like I do with work emails I'm gonna just write a list, of all the things that have been going on, because I feel like my brain is about to explode otherwise.

lots of rambling, potentially triggering stuff under the cut:

1) pain. so much pain. I thought I'd moved past this endo thing, or at least that the pain was contained because of the meds the gyno gave me plus the progesterone that was definitely easing the pain for a bit during the month. but the ones my gyno gave me, they can only be taken during my period and mine isn't starting. so I've been in agony, like in so much pain, and the only relief has been a hot water bottle and codeine. and I don't want to take more days off when I've already taken sick days this year - which is not like me, at all. but potentially that might not be an issue for a while if I end up having to work from home. and in terms of addressing the root cause of the problem, that's unlikely, because the mri I had of my pelvis came back normal. no indications of endometriosis which I expected because this shit doesn't show on ultrasounds or mris. I do think there might be a chance it shows on a transvaginal ultrasound but they outright refuse to do that which really fucking pisses me off bc it's on the basis of me never being laid before which as I've mentioned is ridiculous.

2) speaking of. this motherfucking coronavirus is doing my head in. seriously i had to order hand sanitiser for the office and it still hasn't arrived. I did manage to get a few masks but god those were expensive. and just generally it's all anyone will talk about at work which is driving me nuts. and what makes it worse is that I'm going out of my mind thinking about speedy and if she gets it, because she's got a heart condition and her immune system isn't very strong even for regular flu. this shit will hit her hard and I'm terrified of that esp after hearing boris fucking johnson saying in his speech that people are going to lose loved ones. I don't know what I'll do if I lose her. actually I have an idea and it would not be good. I spoke to my brother who is a healthcare professional and he said that it's best to get in touch with the cardiology team that look after speedy to see if we can do anything preventative or get her tested.

3) in better news, my brother just announced to our family that he's getting married. already its causing arguments and his fiancee comes from a more well off family (the bar is low tho admittedly) so we're all gonna be scrambling to get our tiny house somewhat in shape for when my bro's future in laws visit in a couple weeks. but it's still good news I think because my bro is smitten and that's just nice to see. his fiancee makes him happy and that's something I'm really glad he found. they want a small wedding too so hopefully we'll have like 200 guests max, which would be sacrilege in any desi household lol.

4) I've been looking for a new job for a while now. things at work have been tough, ever since my old manager gave in her notice. I don't mind my current manager all that much, but she's in hr, and she's clearly never managed anyone before because she is nowhere near as good a support system as my old manager. I could go to my old manager and complain about something and she'd listen, and she actively made an effort to monitor my workload. this new one, she just doesn't put the same effort in and she also just doesn't understand the role I'm in either. she seems to think the job I do is easy and straightforward when it is neither, on the basis that she thinks admin is something anyone could do, and she does nothing to try and ease things when my workload gets heavy. plus my managers manager who is also in hr is just really not nice. she enjoys a power trip way too much. that and the fat cats that are our clients - well suffice it to say I think my time here is up. so I've been looking and I found a nonprofit that was hiring. I did my first interview with them and it went surprisingly well. and now I've got my second one next friday. I really hope that goes well too and that I get the job, just so I can see the look on my managers managers face when I give in my notice 😂 and this new job if I get it would be five fewer hours and I think that could do wonders for my wellbeing. and my sanity.

5) writing. I've done none of it. it's a problem. I don't know what to do to make my mojo come back because I write the best when I'm alone, and I'm never on my own nowadays unless I'm in bed in pain, in which case writing is the last thing I feel like doing. but I also really want to write. so badly. I feel like I'm emotionally more stable when I'm writing. I'm happier. and I just do not have that right now which is not fun.

6) reading - now this is something I have done. my dear friend reen recommended a series of books called reluctant royals, by alyssa cole, and omg. they are so good. I powered through three big novels and two novellas. like I devoured them. and I'm being reminded of how much I love books. good ones. they made me laugh a lot and I'm really glad my friend recommended them.

7) speaking of devouring. a few weeks ago I found on several occasions that people were offering their seats to me on public transport, presumably because they thought I was pregnant. it was this combined with my doctor admitting my bmi wasn't normal (tho only when I asked if this might be causing the pain) that made me realise that I needed to lose weight drastically, and to eat better and walk more. so I've been eating more veggies and salad. trying to put more greens on my plate. not have fast food as often. in all honesty I'm not sure how much of a difference its actually made, but I do know that I feel a little better having done so over the last few weeks. my brother also said I looked like I had lost weight. I've also noticed it a little in my tummy going in a bit too. but I also know that this is a rabbit hole I don't want to go down too far. I worry I might have already with the weighing which I've been doing far too often now that there's scales at work (for weighing big packages). I don't want this to spiral out of control. but I think I've done okay so far, minus the weighing thing - I've always eaten when I've felt hungry so it's not like I'm starving myself. and so far I've only lost about 3kg. which I feel is significant but also nowhere near enough when it comes to the nhs bmi calculator.

8) my little brother has been acting up for months now, and tbh it's starting to give me anxiety. my mother found weed in his room and he's just been rebelling in what I see as normal teenage ways like smoking and staying out late, but it's also affecting his school and I'm worried he won't leave with decent a levels bc he already failed once. and his school keeps emailing my dad about him supposedly being absent, and my dad's response to this for about two months now has been to post a screenshot of each email into the family group chat and demand where my bro has been. it doesn't help. and I don't need to be notified every time he skips school or whatever like that is not my fucking problem to have to see when I'm at work and have enough stresses as it is. my dad is an idiot and honestly some days I would dearly love to punch the man in the face.

9) I start my group therapy in a couple weeks. it’s for generalised anxiety and I am really, really hoping it will help me because the other group therapy I’ve done previously, like a couple months back, has proven to be really helpful. here’s hoping.

10) if anyone is still reading this far - I realise this sounds a lot like I'm feeling sorry for myself. maybe I am to some degree. but my life is just a lot right now and I'm genuinely a bit shocked I'm still in one piece and that I haven't had a nervous breakdown yet. everything is a lot and I feel like I'm going through a lot of change. that's hard. but I'm trying my best to get through this and I hope somehow I can. I actually left tumblr for a bit because for various reasons I didn’t feel as safe talking about my problems on here, through no fault but my own really. I’m hoping I’ve moved past that now.