#hes totally trynna figure out how fit knows

[ghostatas]

I know it's unlikely but now that Fit knows that Bbh is a demon I want them to interact and Fit just causually drops (one of) Bads biggest secrets to his face like.

Fit: Well, since you're a demon and all, can't you just, I don't know, whip up some black magic or something to get the job done?

Bad (slow head-turning towards Fit, voice low): ...Since I'm a what?

*few seconds of silence where they just stare at eachother*

Fit: OH! So I'm not supposed to know that, gotcha! Wait, rollback, rollback quickly? So, since your rich and super stacked and all, can't you just, I don't know, whip up something real quick to get the job done?

Bad (back to his usual, higher pitches jovial voice): Oh yeah, totally! Lemme just look in my backpack here, gimme a second...

[iamablackwoman]

The day my black ass laughed...

Simply put, you know that feeling that you get in your gut that something is about to happen, woman’s intuition shit? You’re in too deep and the current is coming and you finna go under under!!! You pleading for dear life like let me get a lifesaver this one time!! Well if you shook your head yes then grab a seat!

Dude stands about 5’9. Comes into the store like a true god. Nicely trimmed beard, timberlands chunky, got the taliband scarf wrapped across his yankee fitted and face like Jesus coming into Jerusalem. Now I normally have a thing for the chocolate brothers, but this Carmel complexioned mocha dipped man came to play!! Everything seemed right. He looked better than his MySpace profile and everything girl!!! He had the Mariah Carey fan on lock, I’m telling you it was a whole commercial. I dead stopped breathing....I am not lying.

Now he told me off the bat on one of our many phone conversations that women be throwing they draws at him on the first night so sis wasn’t trynna get the wham bam!!! We chatted and walked through the mall, ate at Dave and Busters, did a little shopping and flicked it up. Still to this day that was the best first date I ever had. We went our separate ways and once I got home, my life has never been the same since.

I knew there was something about him that attracted me so heavily. Not just his swag and sex appeal. I mean our conversations were lit and perplexed, we had mad shit in common at the time and we just vibed. I was fresh out of a relationship and just lost my first baby in a miscarriage and he was due to be a first time father on the same day my baby would have been born, like wtf how??? He wasn’t with his child’s mother and we literally bonded over talking about our exes and what space we were in. Now that I think about it, it was a really comforting time.

This man was special to me, I hung on to every word, every breath this man had I was right there sucking up the air. We had become really good friends. I learned a lot about him and his life and admired his ability to traject his self into another dimension from his past. He literally reshaped his life and built his self a new one. I never quite understood how he lives his life so assured, so forcefully. Like anything he put his hands on turns to gold like King Midas. I’ve seen this man accomplish so much and be such a great Dad to his kid and couldn’t see any fault in his makeup.

At this point you can assume that the relationship had gotten physical. I mean I honestly I don’t even have to mention that because the relationship was so much more than that. But girl he was so sensual, so soft and gentle with me, he wasn’t trynna prove nothing in his strokes or ram me like a fucking elephant. He was calm, and always on point. The sex was good but always an additive.

We always had our back and forths and misunderstandings because the way he lived his life. We didn’t have the same spiritual beliefs and we got into a lot of controversial topics because of it. This man grew up in the era of NOI and real educated hip hop, I mean the culture hip hop. He gained knowledge through the NGE, and master teachers of that time. Here I am this little Christian girl, seasoned in nothing but regurgitated mumbo jumbo. Always gotta have a word and put my two pieces in, gotta sound intelligent too, besides I gotta save him because that’s what Christian’s do, right?

Years and years and years go by. We separate for a while not too much in contact with one another. In the meantime I get married and he gets engaged and has another baby. Now we never actually dated each other. We always remained friends because our views got too opposing. There was one time when I did want to learn and be taught his ways, I messed up because I loss control of my emotions and got jealous and got caught up in some dumb shit, which cost me. The feeling that you get once a man don’t trust you anymore is super horrible.

My marriage began to fail and took so much out of me mentally and physically that I sought him out. Come to find out he and his fiancé are having trouble as well, go figure! We began to go back to our MySpace days again, talking about our exes. Staying on the phone all late again. Getting chummy and making light of our circumstances. I discovered that deep down inside I really have aligned my heart with this dude. He really listens, he gets me, I mean my core.

So months later, I separate from my husband and I touch base. You know just filling each other in on what’s new and what’s next. I began to fantasize and align my life with his. Trying to figure out what his next moves are and making plans in my head. Not plucking my remedial ass like, homegirl, “yous is married still!” I know I was heading for a divorce and trying to get back on track but I was following the same path.

No matter what person, thing, or place comes into your life, those are additives. You can’t lead YOUR life following someone else’s storyline. I had to really laugh at myself. I was starting to get annoyed and hurt by some of the talks we started having and how he analyzed my current situation and even though it was harsh and nasty, it was truth.

I had to get back on board. I had to discover MY next and now. Like girl wash your face and clean ya place before you get back into that cycle of putting these dudes first. What type of fabric do you like, what are you doing to define yourself? How’s your total health going? What feminine energy did you connect with and sow into. What’s your mother up to, how’s Grammy? Sis, what are you DOINGGGGGAHHH?

I just had to sit back and laugh at my black ass because here I was healing and in the same breath heading toward dangerous territory. Falsifying everything I told myself I would do after leaving my toxic relationship. I ain’t perfect but this single life, this time around, this gonna be my realest mirroring experience yet. It’s just you, it’s just you sis. The only important things in your life are inside of you and if you don’t take care of you, you will become your own worst enemy. Whew, I had to get back on track because I almost died!