#hes nice but hes too friendly. its not inappropriate but its uncomfortable lol

[discountwives]

so glad my coworker and i find our other coworker a lil creepy im still weirded out by how touchy he is w/ all the girls (+ me bc closeted) but hes like EXTRA friendly to me and ik its not just in my head bc she pointed out how friendly he is w/ me like brother dont try it im bigger and faster than you leave me alone pls be normal

[amandayuebing]

My Life is Very Shoujo Manga, Chapter 2: Mal, you cheeky little liar...

I’m writing right now from UNSW’s judo dojo, just across the hall from the kendo competition going on right now, as I wait for the competition to wrap up so I can go out on a date with my boyfriend. I’m excited! 

There’s been a bit of a gap between my last post and writing/publishing this one because I need to admit to you guys, I’ve been having my dreaded perfectionism paralysis… And I’ve been procrastinating by watching “Jane the Virgin” on Netflix-- omg it’s such a great show!! If you haven’t watched it yet, you should give it a go.

And ironically, “Jane the Virgin” is also about a writer who sometimes gets perfectionism paralysis (except my story doesn’t involve an accidental artificial insemination or a rich, hot, baby-daddy (yet 😉 oh ho ho...), and I’m writing this story mostly for fun, and not as an aspiring writer.

I just want you guys to be able to see my story the way I see it— how crazy, but amazing it’s been! How so many times I’ve questioned in my life, “is this really happening?! It sounds straight out of the plot of something ridiculously fiction...” Like a… that’s right! Shoujo manga.

But, yes. What better background to write about the memories of when I first started kendo then to be directly opposite a kendo competition? I can literally smell the kendo in the air right now. (Thank god the judo dojo has its windows open, on this hot, stinking day...)

Let’s jump in!

Once my first kendo class finished, I knew it wouldn’t be a week later until I’d see our favourite kendo club president, Tony, again. I was looking forward to that day, but at the same time dreading it because of how terrible I was that first class. Plus I was starting to have doubts. Doubts like:

1) This is silly… How can you be so interested in somebody when you don’t even know them yet…? Like what do you actually like about him?

2) Do you guys even have anything in common…? Like, you’re one of the least athletically gifted people you know. No, you ARE the least athletically gifted person you know. How many frisbees did you take to the head during P.E. class? How did you even get into law school with all those frisbees to the head?!

3) What if he has a girlfriend…? Surely a cutie like him cannot be single… 

(These are summarised. But when I go into moments of doubt, they just spiral everywhere!)

My main concern was if we were each other’s type… But who was I kidding? I was concerned about everything LOL. I am an obsessive over-thinker!

But man, what better way to crush your doubts about your crush than for your best friend to force you stand righhtt in front of your crush, the university kendo club president (and dojo steward) while he’s leading the whole class for warm-up, and let him and the entire class watch you embarrass yourself. Again. (Mal last lesson: “I won’t do anything bad…” Uh huh, Mal 😒... really?)

I was probably even worse this class because that warm-up? I didn’t get it at all... Tony stood in front of us stretched leaning to the right, and I wasn’t sure whether I was meant to lean to his right or mine. I chose a side. Apparently the wrong side. 

Tony cracked up.

For a second, I was mortified. It was so embarrassing! But then I couldn’t help it. I cracked up! Which made him crack up. 

“Oh my god... I am going to get my ass KICKED, or get KICKED OUT of this class for sure!” I cringed. 

Luckily that didn’t happen.

But I did try my best during that class. And also did my best not to be a distraction to Tony or the rest of the class who wanted to learn... I mean, I really wanted to learn too! I had a freaking stalker! I needed to look like a bad-ass!! 

Oh, that’s right! I haven’t told you guys about my stalker!

So before Tony and I met, I had a stalker who had been following me around for about a year... He was still stalking me at the time I joined kendo. So, when Mal and the girls at the kendo stand tried to convince me to learn how to be a bad-ass and defend myself by hitting people with a big-ass stick?! Hell yeah, it sounded like a sign!

My stalker was a guy who lived in the same on-campus building as I did. Let’s call him... Russell. Russell was significantly older than me (at least 10 years older?), followed me by popping up at unwanted times (he somehow managed to pop up so frequently, and in such unexpected places), and would not leave me alone, even though I expressed I was uncomfortable around him.

He would approach me at very inappropriate times e.g. When I was walking home with groceries alone as the sun was just starting to set (this is actually what happened the first time we met); when I was alone on elevators; in an alleyway, as I was late-night Christmas shopping with just my female cousin, and basically any time... And his intention was definitely to have a threatening and sinister presence around me, as he would not go away when asked. 

Obviously, after that, I would try to limit the amount of time I was alone. But the difficulty was the fact he would only appear when I was alone or in the company of just another female. Never when I was with a male, or in a group of friends. So some of my closest friends doubted he even existed, or that he was as sinister as I felt he was. 

“I’ve never seen someone around that fits that description…”, “There are heaps of people who look like that. How do you know it’s the same guy or you’re just freaking out about every time someone talks to you that looks like  that?”, “Maybe it’s a coincidence he turns up at those times?” “Take it as a compliment…”

But what isn’t sinister about a man staring intensely, directly at me, as an elevator door was closing because I refused to get in with him. Or him stepping out of that empty elevator to stand, wordlessly, facing me, within a couple inches. Staring down at me as I waited in the lobby for the next elevator, while there was ample room for him to stand elsewhere. And him moving closer when I took steps away from him, uncomfortably.

Then, when two elevators arrive, one slightly after the other, and I saw him definitely walk towards the one that arrived first, and I ran to take the one that he wasn’t riding so I could hurry and close the door, then have him lunge towards the elevator I was on and wait until he’s last to press his floor button, despite being the closest to the buttons... Him pressing a floor above everyone else’s (even though you know he lives on a lower floor because he told you the first time you met). 

Remembering all this is honestly giving me chills...

Around this time, just as I was starting kendo, the stalker situation was getting worse. Just three days after I joined, I was studying in one of the common areas of my university housing apartment, while Dad slept on a couch nearby, I ran into my stalker, again. It was honestly so unpleasant. I had just walked out of the bathroom when I saw him walk out of the elevator. 

When he saw me, his head turned slowly and smirked, and followed me back to my desk where I had been studying. 

He started the conversation with a creepy, “heyyyy,” and honestly I don’t remember what else he talked to me about because I just told him angrily, “leave me alone,” repeatedly, and my dad sat up sleepily. I heard Russell murmur an “oh..” before dashing off to the elevators and disappeared.

But back to kendo. (Okay, I am going to be honest and tell you guys early on: if you guys are here to read about awesome and exciting recounts of kendo matches, this isn’t it.)

When the class ended, Mal wanted to stay back a little and get to know the people a little more… (Reminder: “I won’t do anything too bad... Promise” -- Mal, the previous class.)

We talked to a bunch of people, but I got to particularly talk to a girl named Marianne. She was really nice, but something about her gave me this bad vibe...

She introduced me to a couple named Ivan and June, and introduced them as “another” couple in the kendo club. But what was odd was she didn’t explain who the first couple was... Then she introduced Tony as her “punching bag”, and asked him, “isn’t she cute?” (referring to me). And I mean, obviouslyyy he answered “yes, she is” 😉😉 (internal me: *flower pose* 😌🌸). I thought I saw just a flash of jealousy cross her face, but she smiled at Tony sweetly.

I thought Marianne was nice and there were things I liked about her personality, like how bold and self-assured she seemed, and how she genuinely seemed friendly. 

Everything we’d been talking about up until that moment Tony joined in seemed so genuine and I— I knew I had a habit of overthinking, but at the same time, when you get a feeling about something, there’s usually a reason for it, right?

At this moment I felt clues for my 3 doubts being answered:

1) What do I like about him? After two lessons, I could still see the positive things I saw him the first time we interacted. How he’s serious about what he does, but doesn’t take himself too seriously. How he’s kind, patient, sweet, charming..... Yeah, yeah, you guys don’t really want me to go on.

2) Am I his type? Yes, yes, I think! Chance to celebrate anyway.

3) Does he have a girlfriend...? Well......... Although Marianne didn’t outright claim him, it felt like she kinda was. But there was no harm in getting to know him (and her), and I would back off if I needed to... The thought of that made me a little sad, because although we’d just met, I was starting to really like him.

With so much going on, I had so much to think about, and as I was walking home sometime after 10pm, Tyler messaged me with “hey AManda” but I ignored him. What is with this guy and his bad timing?!

(I haven’t explained who Tyler is yet, but you guys will find out soon.)