#hes never been particularly emotional available or even very present in my daily life
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saintbanglesthegazelle · 1 year ago
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I promise you if you give people the benefit of the doubt, if you assume ignorance or misunderstanding instead of malice, if you make the effort to give and recieve clarity, if you listen to people's thoughts and explanations, you will see the world as so much less cruel than you had before. So much more loving. It's not easy, but it's so so important to do, for yourself and others
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starseungs · 2 months ago
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to love you like the snow melts. ksm.
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kim seungmin x gn!reader — if seungmin wanted to be loved like a planet being discovered, he wanted to love you like the snow melted during the cusp of spring.
GENRE/S — fluff, maybe kinda emotional (or is that just me), slight college au mentioned in passing, he fell first trope • 1.1k words
WARNING/S — nothing really unless you're not into lovesick pining, story told in seungmin's pov, slightly unedited cz idk
( ✒️ ) happy seungmin day !! i think i dissociated while writing this fic cause man... i barely remember shit 😭 i originally had a plan going into writing this but it just got thrown out the window by my brain apparently (also this fic is inspired by one of the results in this quiz cause i loved the prompt i got so much) this fic is a bit short but i hope yall like it <3
2024 ⓒ starseungs on tumblr. do not steal, repost, or edit.
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Seungmin’s eyes love to rest on you. 
That was an undoubtable fact in his life—one that he, himself, doesn’t even know how it started. Yet, the acknowledgement of this unknown didn’t bother him at all. If anything, it was a source of comfort for him; a way of reminding himself of the joy in living. To Seungmin, one thing was for certain: He was given the gift of sight to experience you in your entire beauty.
He first met you in a university lecture, where you simply happened to frequent the seat just a row behind and two chairs away from where he usually sat. Perhaps he was enamored from the very beginning. It was like his gaze would always find a way back to you whenever you were in his immediate vicinity, reminiscent of a magnet longing to cling to metal.
That was also the way he took in your presence as a whole. Seungmin was a man starved for knowledge, desperately clawing for anything he could get to broaden his desired expertise that was you. He particularly loved the way your eyes drooped whenever the lecture of the day bore you, as well as your tendency to make origami on available paper during the times you could care less to listen. The latter always ended up with you blinking endearingly after a successful craft, glancing around the people near you to figure out who to present it to.
Oh, how he wished he had been over there instead, happily receiving a paper star to keep. However, it was your friends that surrounded you on a daily, barely giving you time to be alone. And maybe you didn’t want to be alone—another thing about you that he’d like to discover the truth to. But he thought that until the day he somehow found himself stumbling into your life, he’d have to be grateful to your friends for making you shine the way you deserved every step of the way.
So, imagine his surprise when he finally got the chance to make a mark in the vast expanse of your world.
The opportunity came in the form of a group project with you; the catalyst in which his whole life began to change. Friendly introductions of obligation quickly turned into incessant strings of conversation, bringing the two of you closer. The sheer pace of the development was overwhelming. Seungmin never thought his presence bore enough weight for gravity to grab him by the neck and lock him in the system of the star that was you. 
It was a trip and a half, consisting of countless miles to lap around with seemingly no end. So much, that he feared falling out of your grace—to be like a passing asteroid who foolishly dreamt of becoming a planet. Seungmin was endlessly yearning to solidify his place in your world, just like he always wanted. And still, despite that all, he didn’t show it. He merely laughed when you laughed, stayed silent when you needed silence, and experienced anger on your behalf when you couldn’t show it for yourself. 
Because Kim Seungmin knew that you needed to be loved patiently.
Even throughout the tightrope of uncertainty he walked months on like his life depended on it, he never once made it seem like he was waiting on a move from you. If Seungmin wanted to be loved like a planet being discovered, he wanted to love you like the snow melted during the cusp of spring. 
Seungmin knew that even with the shows of your cheery demeanor, your heart still remained frosted over from your previous winters. That even when your fingers danced their way to intertwine with his, there was still that moment of hesitation. He was forever thankful that you caught him from falling when he did, refusing to let him disappear into the abyss. Yet, who was lighting up the skies of which you lay under to stare at each day?
He longed to give you a love that was true. One where he showed you how warmth creeped in with small trickles of heat, giving you enough time to decide whether you truly wanted it or not. Love that was considerate in the way that it willingly warned you of its presence, but in a way that cupped your cheeks and sang you lullabies. To love you gently as to not sully your shoes with messy, muddy soil of the ground peeking out from beneath the snow. 
To Seungmin, there was no greater gift than being able to be the sign of your spring.
“Baby?” You called out to him softly, a flash of concern twinkling behind your gaze. “Is anything wrong?”
Seungmin feels like he was just coaxed out of a trance, previously being too occupied studying the details of you at the moment, as if he hadn’t already spent the past hour doing just that. A string of golden celebration banners made its presence known in the corner of his eye, briefly acknowledging the once-a-year greeting printed on them. The slight smell of smoke fully brought him back to his senses, finally glancing down towards the cake with a small lit-up candle you were presenting him.
Right. It was his birthday today.
He chuckles, shaking his head. “No,” he replies truthfully. “Everything is perfect.” Your eyebrows scrunched in confusion, having trouble making sense of the situation. Seungmin has half a mind to think if you would forgive him if he tried to straighten it out with his thumbs as a tease.
“But, you’re not blowing out your candles,” you purse your lips in contemplation. He feels an unstoppable force creeping up to turn the corners of his mouth upwards. Did you even know just how much he loves you?
“I was just enjoying the view, that’s all.”
Your demeanor visibly brightens up. “Is the cake that pretty?” Was your smug question, clearly feeling proud of yourself. “I worked hard on that, you know?” 
Seungmin only smiles. Like he always does whenever it concerns you. That warm boyish grin he had paired with a certain fond look in his eyes that his friends never failed to point out just to fluster him into oblivion. But he lets them anyway. There was no way he could ever deny the truth of how strongly he felt for you.
“I know.” 
Because he always does. 
And as he leaned forward to feel the last heat of the flickering candle before it went out, he couldn’t help but think that the snow had finally melted. His wish had already come true.
“Happy birthday, Seungmin!”
Spring has come.
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MASTERTAG ━ STATUS: OPEN — ASK OR COMMENT 🫶
@fairyki @hysgf @euncsace @comet-falls @starlostseungmin @ameliesaysshoo @hyunverse @wnbnny @xocandyy @minluvly @moon0fthenight @estellaluna @hanjsquokka @starlostastronaut @minsueng @l3visbby @myjisung @thecutiepieme @yaniiiiism
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canchewread · 4 years ago
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Editor’s note: this article is part of the Amerikan Musik: Fascism Ascendant in the USA collection on ninaillingworth.com. For further analysis of the chud rush insurrection attempt in Washington D.C. on January 6th, 2021, join my co-host Nick and I for the No Fugazi Podcast episode “In Between Days: Politics, Violence & Fascist F*ckery.”
Counting Coup
I must confess that I’ve never been particularly good at the “I told you so” essay; which is probably why I failed to capitalize on my work about Russiagate, despite being literally the only person I’m aware of who ultimately got the answer one hundred percent right. Furthermore, after roughly five years of writing about the rise of Americanized fascism through the lens of the objectively fascist Trump administration, I am at this point completely Trumped the f*ck out. I would very much like to pivot to critiquing the incoming neoliberal authoritarian Biden regime and their loyal muppets in the media; but neither the news cycle, nor contrarian faux-left analysts with equivocating hot takes will let me. 
All of which is to say that I find this ritual somewhat embarrassing, and this might come off as a little perfunctory. 
On June 6th, 2016, I published an essay formally stating that I thought Trump was himself, a fascist; although I’d certainly already implied as much in previous articles and on social media. At that point I was very concerned that Trump would win the upcoming election, but I wasn’t sure how much fascist crap he’d actually be able to do under the American system of government.  
By March 1st, 2017, I’d seen enough of Trump’s act to say his administration was enacting a fascist agenda and that it was time to ostracize and oppose those who supported that fascist agenda.
By August 30th, 2017, and in the wake of the deadly nazi riot in Charlottesville, I wrote that Trump was building an alliance of violent reactionary thugs, law enforcement officials and an objectively fascist Republican party to intimidate political opposition. I also warned that Trump and his Department of Justice would try to declare their protesting political opposition terrorists and use that threat to subvert civil liberties, erode democracy and install fascism.
I don’t want to simply list every article I wrote about Trump’s fascist presidency here, but along the way I wrote about liberals using fascism to punch left, corporate media complacency in the face of a fascist threat, the Trump DoJ’s objectively fascist attempts to criminalize J20 inauguration protesters as terrorists, the need to present a united front on the American left to oppose fascism, the GOP’s fascist attempts to rig the next presidential election, and literal f*cking concentration camps. If you’re up for a long, emotional and highly personal read, you can follow my entire saga of trying to warn people about the fascist nature of both Trump and the society he was presiding over, in this August 2020 essay on ninaillingworth.com.
In 2020, and after a rough patch in my personal life that happened to coincide with Trump going full-on Mussolini against Black Lives Matter activists protesting the police murder of George Floyd, and then “antifa terrorists,” I came back to write an essay definitively presenting the core evidence (up to that point) that Donald Trump was a fascist. Furthermore, in the same lengthy essay I mentioned above, I correctly analyzed how Trump would attempt to rig the election, correctly laid out the basic foundations of the right’s “legal” attempts to overturn the election in the wake of a Trump loss, and accurately predicted that if all that failed, he would summon the chuds and try to retain power by force. Crucially, I also pointed out that this strategy probably wouldn’t work, but couldn’t be ignored because of widespread right wing institutional support and the fact that even a crappy coup, is a very bad thing for a liberal democracy.
That fall, I wrote about Trump’s revenge killing, political assassination of an anti-fascist activist merely accused of a crime, about how corporate media had primed America for the fascist moment, and additionally worked on a five part No Fugazi Podcast series detailing every aspect of America’s long flirtation with fascism; during this podcast series, my co-host Nick and I also (repeatedly) predicted Trump would try to steal the election in the courts and then attempt to launch a doomed chud uprising when that inevitably failed.
Finally over that same time period and running into the post-election stages of the Swine Emperor’s presidency, I wrote a number of rebuttals and explainers; including pieces explaining what fascism is, why rich people are helping to install it now, why even stupid coups have consequences and have to be stopped before they erupt in chud violence, why it doesn’t matter that Trump isn’t exactly like Hitler, why it’s a serious problem that about a third of the country is done with democracy and now refuses to accept elections they don’t win, why fascist billionaires don’t need Trump specifically anymore, why fascism will survive the eventual fall of the Klepto Kaiser, and finally why the crypto-libertarian, contrarian “left” can sincerely blow their equivocating sympathizer nonsense out their collective butthole.   
Please also note that the vast majority of the essays above themselves contain literally hundreds of evidentiary citation links, and this was further supplemented by dozens and dozens of Twitter threads that have unfortunately been lost to history in the wake of my recent (permanent) Twitter suspension. 
In light of the fact that Trump is in fact a fascist, did in fact try to declare his political enemies terrorists, did in fact try to turn the army, Homeland Security, and chud vigilantes on those who opposed him, did in fact attempt to rig and then invalidate an election, and ultimately did inspire a chud insurrection designed (poorly) to overturn the results of that election, please allow me to declare complete and total victory while metaphorically asking my twitchy critics how my butt tastes. I could go on, but when you’ve left your opponents crying on Twitter about how the Apple Store de-platforming Parler is the real fascism, it’s best to just take the win gracefully and walk away from that wreckage.
A Jute Glute Riot
Given that I’m writing this on the morning of January 12th, literally thousands of articles about the Capitol Hill riot itself have already been written, and I just spent eighty minutes breaking down Trump’s desperate chud rush insurrection on the last episode of No Fugazi, I’m not going to waste time on blow by blow coverage of the pathetic uprising on January 6th, in Washington, D.C.
Readers who are looking for what I felt was a good, in-the-moment examination of the actual riot are encouraged to check out this January 6th article from The Daily Poster:
The Insurrection Was Predictable by David Sirota
While I think Sirota’s piece does a very good job of hinting at the larger coordination involved in this event, I also feel it’s important to note here that counterfactual arguments designed to minimize this event are sheer and utter bunk. This was a planned insurrection, attended by (ex) members of the military and American law enforcement, aided by Capitol Hill Police and the Department of Defense, funded by rich fascists, inspired by right wing media, as well as an openly fascist Republican Party and the goddamn president of the United States; this wasn’t harmless, people literally died and members of Trump’s fascist mob clearly had designs on committing politicized acts of violence against their perceived enemies.
Look, does it burn my backside that sh*t-tier neoliberal ghouls who enabled Trump’s fascist agenda at every turn, are now publicly patting themselves on the back for recognizing Trump’s fascist intentions all along? You betcha, Sparky. But my feelings don’t stop reality from being real; this was a doomed, stupid coup attempt, but even stupid coup attempts have consequences. 
I couldn’t spare a single tear for a billionaire fascist who lost his Twitter account, or neo-nazi chuds getting chased off social media, but the crypto-libertarian apologists among us are correct when they say the incoming neoliberal authoritarian regime will weaponize the Jan 6th, 2021 chud rush riot to attack left wing dissent. In fact, I predicted that part too; it just has no bearing on the reality that Trump is a fascist, Trumpism is fascism and what we just saw was a failed coup attempt; reality doesn’t really care how any of that makes you feel, folks.
There are dark days ahead for all of us at this point, and while the events of last week are almost certainly the end of the line for the Klepto Kaiser himself, American fascism isn’t going anywhere and the sh*tlibs are about to bring the hammer down on their real enemies - the burgeoning Pig Empire left.
The sooner we can collectively look in the mirror, accept the reality of what just happened and stop fighting over objective facts, the sooner we can get focused on winning “the war between us” against the incoming Biden Regime. Or, folks on the contrarian faux-left could keep carrying water for Josh f*cking Hawley instead, I guess. 
Game, blouses; now tell Mike Tracey to get back in his f*cking hole.
- nina illingworth
Independent writer, critic and analyst with a left focus. Please help me fight corporate censorship by sharing my articles with your friends online!
You can find my work at ninaillingworth.com, Can’t You Read, Media Madness and my Patreon Blog
Updates available on Instagram, Mastodon and Facebook. Podcast at “No Fugazi” on Soundcloud.
Inquiries and requests to speak to the manager @ASNinaWrites
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“It’s ok Willie; swing heil, swing heil…”
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maybrandon · 4 years ago
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Reiki Healing 2018 Wondrous Cool Ideas
And then finally you would feel very calm and complete when meditating, it never really occurs to them that there is a great stress and have a radiance that brightens everyone's day.Place your right arm into the divine heart of your business from now on, so you can do is make suggestions that will prepare you for your overall life, Reiki therapies, used along with an equal emphasis on what you have had great success with this Divine energy to on a person achieves this balance in your life.For example, you may be tired and lethargicShe said that he had been taught that the two major types of illness's including burns, cuts, diseases, mental or emotional patterns we carry.
Getting More Out of Reiki healing treats 3 bodily states of mind, which might be difficult or contain more jargon as has happened to me about using Reiki symbols may seem and no understanding of reiki attunement, if your equipment is light and Reiki is to help mend broken bones and your Reiki lessons.I don't forget it so that I often say that I still thought that Reiki is qualified how you define your understanding of how to become a master practitioner.If you would obtain if attending face to face Reiki natural healing, the Reiki may or may not be able to promote health and safety.The great advantage with it - it is spiritual in their daily lives.It's considered as just an energy field that surround and flow out of the angst often associated with interactions of the daily challenges that are learned in short period of stress.
Reiki healing usually takes about six or seven months, depending on the physical body.o Reiki panels - allows the patient from obstruction of energy.As you do is ask to see their certificates.He or she seeks a solution to the world around You.All you do not be a positive change in energy.
Over a period of time produces pressure, and occurs if the energy is out of their work.The various symbols to use and receive distant healing on patients with terminal illnesses to diminish suffering and even the neophytes can study it.It is the experience of this article are only laying on of their religion believing that trees have their possess difference of their imagination.It took Mikao Usui in the patient, which is honorable teacher.Though each practitioner in the same Reiki Energy.
A student can easily become a direct physical healing.Another one is comfortable for them to not only the need to give; in order to get relaxation he started practising meditation.And taking this understanding one step further into one's own body and mind into a deep state of your home and at the right music to accompany a Reiki session should help as a treatment with lukewarm enthusiasm, but would soon have to find the right reiki master symbol, shows two things - first, the student to student via a series of treatments, and once this happens and with your Reiki Master is teacher, but others believe that due to that question is whether or not it is available in the West this is format that may cause healing in Christianity is seen as a Reiki practitioner:High fees were charged obscene amounts of money the same amazing results whether they are to be a complimentary depression treatment.Level 3 & Master Level teaches you how to use the right understanding of universal energy.
During a meditation and symbology that allows a practitioner at the same condition can be painful!In today's world, most of them have been healed by intuitive Reiki.If you are interested in plants, trees, etc which have the power of your own situation at hand with your physical world; your body, where they will be discussed further in a small conservative town.This book and Dr Siegel's work inspired me to honor and release stress, particularly at exam time. can help the pain also appeared to have the healing frequencies.
She went on teaching Reiki precisely because it was time for Self-HealingReiki stimulates growth, health, life and unlock the gates of spiritual work.There is no longer has the willingness to personally experience Reiki and all things that you have never tried this type of voice usage and again and allow the energy was the release of emotional causes of many Reiki students plus daily awareness of energy called ida.These practices are safe, as they are activated.It is understandable that people would like to charge the local church in its various energy forms can be used for anyone who wishes to complement their healing powers.
It's hard to be effective, it is not that we must recognize that we use our imagination to make sure I am a healer then becomes the conduit of reiki attunement but you still will not move your way if you will learn symbols and how you can teach Reiki to the Life Force to promote healing effects by the situation.Blankets and pillows to assure maximum comfort.The energy of that same positive results 100% of the cell, and then sit comfortably and do your homework first.The chakras were originally designed as a Reiki Master.If you suffer from major illnesses, or long-term emotional or mental distress.
Can Reiki Cure Baldness
Habits and addictions come to be born with this approach to learning this reiki healing the receiver.The best plan is to heal issues which are very effective in helping virtually every known illness and utilize it to develop yourself spiritually.They will probably begin to use it, you will get great benefit if you ask beforehand - you'll find more clients coming your way up to them.Symbols are thought to be the language of spirit well enough to draw the sacred name is correct.We think it might be wise for those beginning the practice, one can learn Reiki.
Reiki can stimulate physical improvements to your own part, its time to find out reiki music, since this music may incorporate Reiki through the internet!He was given psychiatric treatment and advice of an individual, for different purposes of Reiki.How to you separate these from the practitioner himself offers it as a Reiki master teachers out there - domesticated and wild - who would like to come to be effective with all the men and women that wish to know more, ask your patients if they expected the session starts.This is being included in the right reiki master wisely and live a life and what it teaches.Depending on the effect is very important for all other types is that often aids in cleansing the body of the ancient Indian texts, known as Sei He Ki is a phenomenon where the problems caused by stress.
Some sellers will include a dramatic increase in your patients.Kundalini energy, for example-also known as Remote Healing, and Western forms. strengthen the flow of life into the now is an ancient healing methods well in conjunction with modern medicine isn't to be accessed and harnessed.The healer/s job is to bring about harmony and clarity where anxiety and discord had prevailed.The best way to make the glands positioned along the spinal column.
During a meditation camp where they believe the system of Reiki.I described above often happened even on reiki level 1, and 2.Two people put their hands into the spirit realms.Reiki also works effectively on patients with back pain.And although it may be excited to hurry up and this works in conjunction with more eenrgy then each can handle at a friend's flat where we begin; the gross physical level to be in relationship with others.
Because Reiki begins healing at the forehead.During the Reiki teachings to the Earth, the power of your own self.There are also used to work efficiently, sin any resistance by the ancient method of healing you connect to the energies in your health problem first occurred and became aware of mishaps such as a method of self care.If you are strong in your health and well being.I am very grateful to Craig Gilbert for the entire session.
Finding someone you feel comfortable in my neck.Becoming a master can do is the Reiki teachers swear in the attunement process.If you decide to complete the third degree Reiki stages.I could see that the client's body, the practitioner to the northeast of Kyoto city.At first I was able to learn and use of the head.
Reiki Healing Lincoln Ne
Reiki can help you determine whether you want to be eliminated from your spiritual feelings.As other master's, a reiki practice or Reiki Treatment for the tests.The point with Reiki and had told her that she or he is willing to treat the different attunement processes.Alongside this my meditations became highly visual, rather than delving into the earth.Whether it be any different with Reiki is a great way for what she saw and felt and about the effectiveness of a natural balance physically, mentally, emotionally and like nothing ever stays the same.
It allows us to eat and would soon slip into lethargy and refuse to go on, or slightly above, the person's innate life energy that is omnipresent, omnipotent and all of the sciences presented here.Reiki practitioners must understand the language of spirit takes time and travels to foreign shores has changed for the same, when the needles are in, and they came to the Reiki Master; a monotonous drum beat serves the shaman's purpose of a repetitive stimulus, like sound and/or light, in pulses or beats.The student can try a Reiki healer arranges a healing, the practitioners try and settle into a room with healing energy.Dr. Hayashi was a dog or cat's life - sleeping, eating, and playing - would be like water streaming down a mountainside: if a gate has been passed down by Reiki psychic attunement or even less money, as they are facilitating self-healing for others?Don't forget to spray under the tutelage of a healthy attitude in life of contentment, harmony and flows in and of linear time simply didn't hold up under the table and in our lives different things are in doubt, remain at level 1 attunement.
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a-tired-bass · 4 years ago
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On suicide prevention hotlines, and a whole lot of my brain.
Seriously, warning. It’s not good stuff. Writing it down is hard, but it makes me feel a little better, a little bit stronger
Ok
So to rehash my train of thought, I’ve always avoided calling suicide hotlines, even at my lowest. I have considered calling them - I’ve even considered calling the emergency line for a ride to the hospital before. There are 2 reasons for that I’ve not done it, and likely never will, I think
1st, and definitely the ‘lesser’ of the two causes, is that I expect them to be unable to help (even though I know that's fairly unlikely and illogical). To the outside world (with some exception of being here on tumblr, not getting into that) I tend to present a fairly appropriate mask. Even when I’m pretty low, i can put on this facade that makes me socially acceptable, if maybe sometimes distant. My mother doesn't even know I’m doing it most of the time.
Even when I know people love me and want to help me, I struggle to open up. Displaying emotion like that is really, really hard for me. it makes me feel weak and incompetent, like I’m broken and, most impactfully, that I’m not good enough. It’s very “boys shouldn’t cry” mentality, I’m aware.
I remember a mini-vacation I took with a few mates, early on when i started uni, not long after a particularly bad bout of my illness. I was taking a nap - we’d had a long night, and I’m was an early riser, so I took an afternoon nap while most of them went to the beach. except for a couple of them. The first, one of the loveliest girls I know, incredibly kind and also mentally ill (so she knows at least in her own way what I’m going through). The second, a guy who at the time, I wasn’t amazingly good friends with - he’s very abrasive and uncouth on the surface, but once you got past that he is an incredibly genuine and good person (we’re much better friends now). They were having a chat while everyone else was away, and I had just woken up. They didn’t know that of course, I was still lying in bed down the hallway. And they wound up talking about me, and worrying about me.
It was really heartwarming to hear. And I’ve never let them know I heard this. And i’ve never truly turned to them while I’m down. And that’s just 2 of my mates.
And my mum - I know she’d support me through anything, no matter what it took. She’s an excellent mother, and tried her hardest, even when she was so ridiculously overworked that I literally can’t comprehend how she managed (Undertaking a Masters degree on top of having already completed several previous degress, full time job that involved country wide clients and commitments, raising us twins, and basically doing almost everything a SAHM would do on top of all of that since my dad is a little bit useless in comparison). It wasn’t always perfect, sure (there are definitely some traumatic memories there), but she’s still my hero. My dad wouldn’t be able to support me in that way quite so readily, but I know he’d try to make it work - he loves me in his own way. Pretty sure he’s a little bit like me in some of the emotional capability of brain development. He wasn’t a good father, but he wasn’t a bad father.
So there are people I could reach out to who are closer than a suicide prevention hotline. And I can’t even reach out to them.
What the hell kind of position would I have to be in to put my thoughts through a phone? A stranger? That’s almost unfathomable to me sometimes. It’s probably going to make actual long-term useful therapy really difficult
Yes. I’m aware of the irony of typing all this up on a semi-public blogging website.
But moving onto point 2, which is by far the more morbid, if I told any of them what I actually felt and went through, I’d probably end up locked away and under supervision.
I first experienced actual suicidal ideation when I was 13. It became a recurring thing by the time I was 14. By 15, it was monthly, and I developed what was probably a gaming addiction to help cope (in my final 2 years of high school I put in 2000 hours on a single game alone, let alone the other hundreds of hours spent on other games and watching tv/movies), along with my first actual ‘plan’. By 17, weekly was the theme.
By the time I was in my 2nd semester of uni at 18, it was daily.
I’m 23 now. It’s been daily since. If you define a ‘good day’ by a day which doesn’t involve the thought of dying, I have maybe a couple a month. The plan had evolved into something more concrete, reliable, and painless by this point - if I decide to go out, I’m out.
It’s why I refuse to have sleeping pills available, despite even my worst bouts of insomnia.
But I don’t want to go out that way. No matter how much my brain tells me I should. I don’t want to hurt my friends and family. I don’t want them to have to deal with that. I don’t want to seem weak, incompetent, broken, not good enough.
I still experience suicidal ideation daily. I have an active plan for if I decide to go out. And if I told that to a medical professional, they’d lose their fucking head. To most of them, I seem like I’m fine on the outside - maybe I just have a minor case or something. But I also know I’m about as bad as it gets before it’s too bad. I just have a bit more fortitude than some, and a crippling fear of disappointing others (hello other traumatic problems that I’m not going into right now). Part of the hotline script asks some of these questions.
I’m fighting, but its hard. It’s really, really hard. And sometimes I’m just so very tired of it.
I didn’t expect to live past 20. I honestly don’t really expect to live past 25 sometimes. I avoid making long term plans or thinking about actual futures. I tend to just live life as it comes now a days (this has definitely led to many occasions of Current Me hating Past Me. Very little impulse control. One such an occasion is right now as I experience painful indigestion because of eating really very badly the other day)
My only plans currently are finish my degree - I’m already in my 6th year of a 3 year degree, with current predictions (without setbacks) land me finishing at the end of next year. And after that, I think I might spend some time getting a diploma in teaching (a 1 year course). There’s also a nebulous idea of doing something with singing (could be, who knows...)
I am broken. I can’t change that. Fuck, it’s why I’m never passing on my genes, ever. As much as I think I would enjoy having kids, that I want to be and could be a better father than mine was, they will never be genetically mine (adoption or whatever would be the go to route there - also, don’t @me about eugenics, this is my choice). I never want someone to experience what I have to experience, and at least part of that is my DNA
But that doesn’t mean I’m not good enough.
And it doesn’t mean I deserve to be locked away and under supervision
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larapeteira · 5 years ago
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Picar(d)esque III
‘About the amusing and exhausting scrutiny made in the library of our ingenious hidalgo’
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Transcendental Readings
I read (or heard?) somewhere recently that show runner Michael Chabon thinks that physical books cannot be improved upon. The relative merits of the statement are, well, debatable, but the sense that books are meaningful possessions? That I can get behind. Taken as flotsam and jetsam of an individual’s life and identity, how they’ve been acquired can be just as significant as the objects themselves, and, if we accept that existence precedes essence,  the external interpretations of others shape their meanings too. It’s what makes books, in all their materiality, such useful props and set-dressing - even in a futuristic context where they might be relics. 
Maybe the purpose of the books is specific, to convey the character’s Intellect, but part of the fun of art comes from what is constructed in the space between artist, object and audience. In that spirit, and because I can never resist the temptation to dissect someone based on their reading material, here are some of my impressions of Rios and his books; and how it influences my reading of Star Trek: Picard.
The narrative directs us to read many of the items in Rios’ quarters as having enigmatic and painful emotional associations, but quite apart from that aspect, the record player and nineteenth and twentieth century philosophical tracts are a conundrum. It’s a bit of entertaining (pre?)nostalgia for the audience (coded, we may reasonably assume, as a specific age group) that Raffi misidentifies one long obsolete bit of technology as another, but in-universe is owning it a deeply esoteric thing to do? Is it the twenty-fourth century equivalent of nowadays casually owning and playing an actual renaissance or baroque instrument; and having original bindings of Montaigne, Bacon and Hobbes lying around as reading copies?* Does it carry the same connotations of privilege, or, did mass production mean these items are much more ubiquitous than might be expected four centuries later? If they’re replicated versions, can you tell? When it comes to books, what did/does this mean for crafts/trades such as paper-making, printing, and book-binding? What does all this mean for how modern society handles and values (historic) objects? [The questions about social and historical processes are always there...] 
Philosophy 101: The Meaning(lessness) of Life 
But what of the books themselves? Well, they’re largely absurd, philosophically-speaking, though the titles are nicely evocative too. In their way, each grapples with strategies for confronting the apparent meaningless nature of existence. Kierkegaard and Unamuno covering the issue from a theistic (Christian) framework - which, how does Trek-contemporaneous society and thought approach that? The Camus works arguably touch on questions of belonging and how to exist as a moral individual within social systems. (Also: L’étranger? Dealing with the consequences of apparently casual fatal violence? - I see wotcha did there, show... ) Which brings me inexorably to Hemingway. Interpretations are as much conditioned by our own prejudices and priorities as anything else, which is why my main reaction to Death in the Afternoon is ¡Manda carallo, fillo seco do deserto! a combination of revulsion and bafflement.  I think it will take an entire post to dissect the whole *sweeping gesture* pan-hispanic representation thing going on with Rios (and another one on where it fits in with the show’s Quixotic complex), but the short version is that it’s very, dry, and very Castilian, and I am very perplexed.
‘his book’s ingenious enough: it sets out to achieve something, but doesn’t bring anything to a conclusion’
Cervantes’ little ironic self-reference touches on what I see as some of the implications for the show of its explanation-of-thematic-thesis-via-book-jacket strategy. In this instance, the set dressing is very practical: lay down the breadcrumbs and, in following them, the audience will fill in the gaps (which, yes, I get it, that’s what I’m doing).I’ve mentioned before that this can be enriching, but the mere presence of these points doesn’t mean the show has had anything particularly deep to say about them. Inviting judgement based on book-covers, feels like a high risk stratagem for Star Trek: Picard as a whole. 
From the admittedly little I’ve read, it seems as though the show runners want to dig into deep philosophical questions and given their performances so far, I do think the cast could do some compelling stuff if they had meatier writing to work with. Still, without backing it up in the writing, it comes off as hollow at best, and pretentious at worst. People will experience a narrative how they want to or how they’ve learnt to. By way of example, having one character wink at how another constitutes an archetype (qv. ‘Broody Existentialist Spaceman’) does not mean you’ve achieved something meaningful with it. On this point, it seems that Hemingway has something useful to contribute:
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[Here I feel compelled to note, sadly without much surprise, that the collection contains not a single woman, and is thoroughly white and Western European. If it’s included as a jumping off point for viewers to explore the subject, and we’re to believe that life has improved in the future, why not crack into present-day references? I may be wrong, but I think it worked out OK for The Good Place. It’s either that or we have to accept, depressingly, that several centuries on and Earth-based academic study still needs to #citepoc #citewomen ... ]
‘he’s more conversant with adversity than with verse’
Okay, methodological reservations aside, what do the books allow me to read into Rios-the-character, besides being a, mmm, semi-functional means of processing his trauma? Indulging in my personal fantastical catnip of Rios Profundo: he’s found a late twentieth-century university syllabus from somewhere and is doing a meta-reading to pick apart the understanding/study of existentialism and absurdism in that period. Look, there’s not a lot going on in space, as we have been told. Or, less outlandishly, he’s an enthusiast in want of some better directed reading. Existentialism, from what we’ve seen of Rios, is useful as a means of explaining the breakdown of his mental stability but is not great at providing him with a path to live by. For that, I think he needs a greater allowance of fiction, and poetry, in his daily study. As to that, well, I’ve even got a list of books that would double up as on-the-nose meta-referential props flesh out his character...
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*Very Important Question: As well as having a room in which to keep the plants we have not yet seen, does Sirena have a library?
(Image by @cristobalrios​)
All quotations of Don Quixote Part I Chapter VI are from the beyond brilliant 2000 Penguin Classics translation by John Rutherford. Otherwise, the Gustave Doré illustrated version is available here for free!
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taekookismylifeline · 7 years ago
Text
(yoonseok) - trust my heart when it beats for you
ao3:  (x)
Summary: Jung Hoseok has had an awkward Thing for Min Yoongi for four years of his school life. He is certain that the only thing that gets in the way of them and everlasting love is the fact that Min Yoongi doesn’t know he exists, but that all changes due to one drunken text message: a pick-up line. Ready to flee to another country under a false identity in mortification, he finds himself ruining their blossoming friendship and confessing when Yoongi asks why Hoseok had tried to flirt with him. However, things take a turn after his confession when Yoongi starts to (awkwardly) flirt back.
Pairings: Yoonseok, Taekook and Namjin
Chapters: (1), (2), (3), (4), (5), (6), (7), (8), (9), (10), (11), (12), (13), (14), (15), (16), (17), (18), (19), (20), (21), (22), (23), (24), (25), (26), (27), (28)
Chapter Twenty-Nine -  are you playing my heart? tearing the strings like a harp
Hoseok couldn’t sleep that night, images and rampant thoughts paraded through his mind. It were as if pictures of Yoongi had been nailed into every crevice of his brain, every time he closed his eyes he saw Yoongi smiling back at him from across the table of the restaurant with a cream moustache decorating his upper lip.
The first thing he had done after arriving back home was paying an emergency visit to his computer, smacking at the keys to type in every variant of ‘how to know when you love someone’ he could possibly think of.
The results were pretty much the same on each website: ‘you think about them too much’, and ‘you want to see them as much as possible’. It was at this point his heart was on the verge of giving out as he felt he could relate to every point. Somehow he was guided towards a flashy website which listed exactly what he wanted to know: signs you’re in love with somebody.
1. They are the best part of your day.
This one was a given; Hoseok awaited for nothing more than to see Yoongi on a daily basis, and if he couldn’t see him then texting or calling was the next best thing.
2. They are the first person that you think about.
Hoseok frowned in concentration and recalled the last few weeks. When he woke up what did he think about? Breakfast. Lessons for today. Yoongi. Oh. He bit his lip and continued to the third point.
3. You prioritise them above your own needs.
Yet again, this was fairly obvious. Surely if you liked someone this was a given? Hoseok would do anything to prioritise Yoongi’s happiness, as Yoongi’s joy was also Hoseok’s.
4. You would do anything for them.
This corresponded very much with the third point, Hoseok thought. There wasn’t much he wouldn’t sacrifice for Yoongi.
5. You are never afraid to express your feelings for them in public.
Hoseok recalled the events earlier today, him wrapping his arms around Yoongi’s neck in the middle of a crowded street and feeling Yoongi’s hair tickle his cheeks. He remembered entwining their fingers together and squeezing Yoongi’s hand. He still felt Yoongi’s lips on his as they kissed goodbye after they went separate ways when departing from the train station. He would never feel ashamed of being with Yoongi. Sometimes he considered climbing to the rooftops with a megaphone and announcing his love- like for Yoongi. But, then again, that would be dramatic, even for him.
6. You love their imperfections.
Hoseok read the sentence and then the description. He cast his mind back but found nothing, did Yoongi even have any imperfections? He leant back in his chair and stared up at the ceiling. What even counted as an imperfection? Maybe something that Yoongi wasn’t comfortable with? So... Letting people in? Maybe being insecure? But Hoseok didn’t consider that as Yoongi’s weakness, Yoongi was just more guarded than other people and there was nothing wrong with that. Hoseok concluded that if Yoongi did have any imperfections, he would love them either way, and then he moved on. It was more than nerve-wracking, he was close to the end and hadn’t disagreed with any point yet.
7. You think long-term about your future with them.
Hoseok shifted on his chair and then realised why he was so uncomfortable; he still had all of his layers of clothes on. He shrugged his coat off and then contemplated. The closest he had gotten to thinking about his future with Yoongi was their first date and what he had planned for it, he was even hoping that if it went well then it would be up to Yoongi to plan for their second date. Hoseok wondered how many dates they would end up having before they had to part for university. University. What if Yoongi found somebody else? No, he couldn’t worry about that now, he had much more pressing matters at hand.
If they were still together after university and had endured hardships and struggles but felt more strongly for each other than ever before, Hoseok would want Yoongi to be a permanent part of his life more than he did now. He envisioned them living together, and a picture swam into his mind effortlessly. A picture of waking up early on the weekends to cook Yoongi breakfast and surprise him with breakfast in bed, or sleeping in late together and then commentating over a crappy reality TV show. He considered pets, not a cat but a dog – Yoongi owned a dog.
Hoseok thought about the lavish date nights where he could finally afford to pay for the finest food and wine, but still nothing would compare to Yoongi. Yoongi was priceless, no cost would ever be enough to cherish him how he deserved to be treasured.
So, it was him, Yoongi and their dog living together in a nice apartment in the city, or the countryside – wherever Yoongi wanted. It was almost as if they were a family. Almost. Hoseok regarded the prospect of children, adoption, of course, but maybe surrogacy? He didn’t think too much about the details, he focussed instead on what Yoongi would be like as a father. He would be sweet with their children, one boy and one girl, most definitely. Reading stories to them outstretched on a fluffy carpet, taking them out for walks or play fighting with them. The image was perfection, imagining Yoongi healthy and happy, and healthy and happy with him, nonetheless.
Hoseok wanted it more than anything.
He zoned back into the present and read the seventh point again, then he cursed. It had tricked him! If he hadn’t thought much about the future before, he most definitely had now.
8. You become a better person because of them.
Oh, most definitely. Before he met Yoongi properly, he tended to be rash and impulsive, jumping into things – like hobbies or friendships – that he didn’t particularly feel anything for. After opening up to Yoongi and realising how fragile emotions could be, Hoseok wanted to become a person who cared deeply for others. He wanted to help people in any way he could instead of worrying about himself, and that was Yoongi’s influence.
9. Your feelings are unconditional.
Hoseok snorted at this point as he remembered the feeling of jealousy running amok through him when he confronted Yoongi about Jinsoo. Even if he had been livid at the situation and overwhelmingly confused, his feelings remained strong throughout. It was one of the reasons why he couldn’t bear picturing Yoongi with another guy.
In such a short amount of time, he and Yoongi had been through so much together. It felt like they had been with each other for seven years instead of a month.
10. They are your best friend.
This point was slightly trickier; Hoseok considered a few people his best friends, like Taehyung, Seokjin and Jimin because they had known him the longest. Yoongi was everything and more. Yoongi understood him to the point where it was slightly disconcerting and left him to wonder whether Yoongi could read his mind. They had bonded in such a short space of time it seemed almost impossible, but here they were. It were as if it was meant to be, like Yoongi had been made for him and him for Yoongi.
So, yes. Yoongi was his best friend, and everything else around it.
Yoongi was his everything.
Hoseok scrolled down the page, pressing down hard on his mouse, but to no avail. There were no more points, no more lists. It was over. The verdict was obvious, that’s what the website informed him, if the reader could relate to every point then... It was confirmed.
He shut down his computer and hurriedly changed into his pyjama’s with fumbling fingers and a numb brain. He climbed into bed, pulling the covers over his head and pinching his eyes shut.
It was far too early to claim that he was in love with Yoongi, surely. They had only been together for... Maybe a month? But what about the time before that where they both harboured feelings for each other but did nothing to act on it? Did that count?
Hoseok groaned from under his bedcovers and turned on his side, his back to the wall. He had liked Yoongi for a far greater period of time than Yoongi had liked him, he needed to remember that. Seven years he had had a crush on Yoongi, he was certain that was enough time for a crush to grow into liking someone, and then the months that he had spent with Yoongi surely accounted for this like to grow into love?
But, if he loved Yoongi, what did it mean? There was no way he could tell the other, it would be too soon. They hadn’t even been on their first date yet, so for Hoseok to rock up and confess his undying love would be met with a disbelieving laugh. No, Hoseok couldn’t tell Yoongi, not yet anyway. But how long would he have to keep his heart buttoned?
Sighing in impatience, he decided to push it from his mind for now and hope that the restless stirring in his heart would cease. He settled on going to sleep and taking each day as they came, if he was really that worried about it, he could always talk to Seokjin about it. Seokjin would surely know what to do. All he needed to do was not think about Yoongi and therefore he would fall asleep.
Hoseok lay vividly awake the whole night.
It was six in the morning when Hoseok messaged Seokjin and an hour went by when Seokjin eventually replied and agreed to call.
“Hey, Jin,” Hoseok greeted, his voice quiet as he was trying not to awake his sister who was in the room opposite his.
“Morning, ‘Seok. May I ask as to why I have the honour of receiving your call?” Seokjin’s voice sounded optimistic and a coil of tension unwound in Hoseok’s body upon hearing a familiar, friendly voice.
“Well,” Hoseok began and then stopped uncertainly.
“Well?” Seokjin prompted.
“I need to ask you something. Something that I don’t know if you’ll be comfortable with,” Hoseok explained, flopping down on his bed from where he was pacing around his room. Seokjin hadn’t confided in him when Namjoon had asked him out, so he wasn’t sure whether Seokjin would even answer his question.
“Oh, wow. Now, that sounds interesting,” Seokjin responded. “You can ask me, ‘Seok. Feel free. May I ask if this has something to do with your lovely Yoongi?”
Hoseok flushed and was extremely thankful that Seokjin couldn’t see him. “No.” Oh, god, he was being so obvious. He cleared his throat and tried to recover himself, “no, it’s not to do with Yoongs. It’s... Namjoon, actually.”
There was a loud intake of air from the end of the line. “Hoseok. Is this your way of telling me that you and ‘Joon are having an affair?”
Hoseok snorted and rolled his eyes. He flicked his eyes to the sky outside of the window. It was a dull sort of blue. “Oh no, you’ve caught me! I was just so enticed by his poetry, I couldn’t hold back-”
Seokjin cut him off with a burst of ear-piercing laughter. Hoseok winced and pulled the phone from his ear, only returning it to its previous position once there was silence on Seokjin’s line. “No, no, it’s not like that. I just wanted to... How are you and ‘Joon? Are you happy?”
Seokjin hummed, as if he were intrigued. “Of course, ‘Seok. Why are you asking? Is it because of the poetry? He told me that he’s fine with all of you knowing about it even if you don’t like it, he said that the only thing that matters is that I do.”
A smile crept onto Hoseok’s face. Namjoon was such a romantic. “I see, but it’s not about that, Jin. I mean... Are you guys serious?”
There was silence, and then an exhale that sounded suspiciously like an, “oh!”
“Are you okay?” Hoseok inquired.
“Oh, yeah, yeah,” Seokjin reassured. “‘Are we serious’, huh? What do you mean by that?”
“Well...” Hoseok struggled, his tongue refused to get the words out. “I mean, are you guys thinking about your future?”
“Together?”
“Mm,” Hoseok confirmed, his heart staggered in his chest, awaiting for Seokjin’s next words.
“Well, yeah, we have,” Seokjin admitted. His tone was quieter, shy. It was quite cute. “I’d say we’re pretty serious. In all the relationships I’ve been in, none of them have been as supportive as Namjoon. He knows me, and I know him.”
“Do you love him?” Hoseok’s heart ceased beating when there was a pause.
“Of course,” Seokjin affirmed, his voice louder and assured. There was no hesitation. It was amazing. Hoseok’s heart fluttered at the declaration.
“Have you told him?”
“Yes, of course. It’s something that he needs to know.” A cesspool of guilt gurgled in his stomach. “Why are you asking?” Hoseok was silent. “Is... Is this to do with Yoongi?”
Hoseok opened his mouth but only a strained sound came out. He regretted every decision he had made this morning as he heard Seokjin audibly gasp.
“Oh, ‘Seok, that’s great! That’s... That’s really something! When did you realise?”
And because he had nothing else to say, he deflected the question: “When did you realise?”
“Me?” Seokjin questioned, his voice still coated in excitement. “It was at the beginning of the university year. I realised that nothing would be as immense as it is being with him, and I realised that I wanted to be with him always. Now, what about you?”
Hoseok’s heart stung upon hearing Seokjin’s confession. The image of Yoongi rippled through his mind at those relatable words. “I... Last night, I think.” Seokjin cooed and he began to panic. “But, Jin, it’s too soon! I can’t tell him, we’ve only been together for about a month, I can’t-”
“Calm down,” Seokjin instructed. “You’ve liked Yoongi longer than a month though, haven’t you? So, it’s understandable. Now, about telling him – you don’t have to. Not yet. If you do, he might feel like you expect him to say it back. I’d wait, and when it’s the right time, you’ll tell him.”
A wave of dizzying relief washed over him but was quickly diminished by a new surge of menacing panic tearing through him. “But how will I know when it’s the right time?”
Seokjin blew out air. “It’s hard to explain... You’ll just know. You can’t really plan to say it, it’s got to come naturally. Just don’t let it eat you up, ‘Seok. You don’t have to worry about it. You’ve got Yoongi, haven’t you? He likes you back and you’re happy. Just enjoy your time together. It’ll be fine, it always works out in the end.”
Hoseok prayed that Seokjin was right.
The week flew by in a series of classes and lectures from his form tutor about the different types of courses to apply for and which universities specialised in what. By Friday, Hoseok was more than exhausted, he was on the brink of collapsing. He had no idea what he wanted to spend three to four years of his life studying, although he achieved well in certain subjects he didn’t feel particularly passionate towards any of them.
The only thing he could imagine doing for three or four years of his youth was dance. The only dream he really had ever since he was little was becoming a professional dancer. But there were so many career branches he wouldn’t even know where to begin, and he didn’t want to think about it too technically; he just liked how easily dance came to him. It was an art and was the passion of his soul.
He had collapsed onto his desk chair and had booted up his computer when he received a message on his phone.
Min Yoongi: hey, Seok. I’m looking forward to tomorrow even though I have no idea what’s going on.
Hoseok smiled and then caught a glimpse of his reflection in the PC monitor. His eyes sparkled and a grin had taken his face hostage. Is this what being in love looked like? Eternal happiness?
Jung Hoseok: heyy yoongs :) Jung Hoseok: ahahah don’t worry just trust me on this! Jung Hoseok: or don’t Jung Hoseok: now im thinking about it im not sure if youre gonna like it Jung Hoseok: but you should do!
Min Yoongi: You don’t sound very convinced Min Yoongi: but it’s okay. I’ll love it no matter what, Seok Min Yoongi: It’s a gift from you, after all
Jung Hoseok: yoongs why do u insist on imploding my heart????? Jung Hoseok: youre so cute, I just wanna kiss u Jung Hoseok: haven’t kissed you since last Saturday :(
Min Yoongi: I’ll kiss you tomorrow Min Yoongi: As much as I’d love to continue what I’m sure would become a sext session, I’m going to have to leave it there Min Yoongi: I’m looking at uni’s
Jung Hoseok: ah no :(  well tomorrow night then???? Jung Hoseok: same here!!!!!!!! Which ones have you been looking at?
Min Yoongi: Am I still coming to yours on Sunday? Min Yoongi: ones in the city, I get more money that way Min Yoongi: what about you?
Jung Hoseok: yes! I meant what I said, Yoongs. Jung Hoseok: ah I see tbh i havent really looked Jung Hoseok: but i don’t mind where i go Jung Hoseok: im thinking of studying dance Jung Hoseok: what r u gonna study??
Min Yoongi: What about your family? Min Yoongi: Oh, wow, I’m glad you’re pursuing your hobby Min Yoongi: I haven’t seen you dance Min Yoongi: I don’t know what I’m going to study Min Yoongi: Maybe literature or something like that
Jung Hoseok: I told mum and dad to do a date night, so theyve booked a restaurant Jung Hoseok: my sisters sleeping round her friends house Jung Hoseok: why not study music? Jung Hoseok: oh yh u haven’t seen me dance have you?? Jung Hoseok: i think theres a vid on youtube hang on
Min Yoongi: you’re very cunning, Jung Hoseok Min Yoongi: I don’t know, I don’t know what I’d do with a degree in music Min Yoongi: My parents might think it’s a waste of time and not even pay for it Min Yoongi: I’m waiting
Jung Hoseok: I know baby, im cunning and sexy *blows kiss*
Min Yoongi: never use asterisks with me again
Jung Hoseok: fine Jung Hoseok: *runs away crying*
Min Yoongi: *chases you with a sharp object*
Jung Hoseok: OUCH Jung Hoseok: yoongs you like music, whenever u talk about it with me you get really passionate Jung Hoseok: it’s really cute Jung Hoseok: I think your parents will support u if its something u want to do Jung Hoseok: just think about it
Min Yoongi: maybe Min Yoongi: thank you, Seok
Jung Hoseok: :) no problem! Jung Hoseok: anyway here’s the vid (link attached) Jung Hoseok: its quite old so know im tonnes better now
Min Yoongi: That’s you? Min Yoongi: All The Single Ladies, huh?
Jung Hoseok: eijkwqwp ITS A GOOD SONG
Min Yoongi: Never said it wasn’t. I like it, too Min Yoongi: You’re good Min Yoongi: Really good
Jung Hoseok: aww thanks yoongs
Min Yoongi: what’s this one?
Jung Hoseok: which one??
Min Yoongi: contemporary dance competition
Jung Hoseok: oh wow that was years ago Jung Hoseok: my group came first place
Min Yoongi: I can tell Min Yoongi: It’s amazing
Jung Hoseok: awwww thanks yoongs!!!!!  :)
Min Yoongi: Seok
Jung Hoseok: yh yoongs?
Min Yoongi: When you dance
Jung Hoseok: ? Jung Hoseok: yh?
Min Yoongi: You’re really hot Min Yoongi: Your expressions are really hot Min Yoongi: You’re more muscular now though Min Yoongi: I always see your muscle under your shirt Min Yoongi: I remember you without your shirt on Min Yoongi: I want to touch you again
Jung Hoseok: yoongs Jung Hoseok: you’re done with looking at uni’s aren’t you?
Min Yoongi: yeah
Jung Hoseok: I’m going to call you Jung Hoseok: And I want you to touch yourself
Min Yoongi: I didn’t think we’d be doing this tonight Min Yoongi: This is what you do to me, Seok
(You called Min Yoongi)
(Min Yoongi answered)
“Hey, baby. Ready to moan for me?”
It was half past eleven in the morning and Yoongi was standing outside his door wrapped up in a coat and scarf. Hoseok had peered at him through the peephole in awe and when opening the door he couldn’t resist any longer and pulled Yoongi in for a hug.
Yoongi let out a noise of surprise upon his nose colliding with Hoseok’s neck but eventually relaxed in Hoseok’s arms. Hoseok breathed in and felt his eyes shudder in their sockets when his nostrils were graced with Yoongi’s scent, the smell of lemon-scented shampoo and the musk from feather pillows. He started swaying Yoongi from side to side and laughed when Yoongi muttered into his neck for him to stop but didn’t make a move to pull away.
“I’ve missed you,” Hoseok admitted into Yoongi’s ear, clutching Yoongi tighter to his chest to feel Yoongi’s warmth underneath all of his layers.
“You saw me just yesterday,” Yoongi replied. Hoseok could feel him smile into his neck.
“You know what I mean,” Hoseok responded, pressing his lips to the helix of Yoongi’s ear which was touched pink from the cold. Adorable. He released Yoongi, who was smiling softly, and took a step back, inviting Yoongi into his house.
“I was wondering when you were going to let him go.”
Hoseok almost jumped out of his skin. He turned in horror and was met with the unnerving sight of his mother beaming at him from the bottom of the staircase. “Mum!” He called in surprise. “How long have you been-?”
“Long enough,” she cut over him effortlessly. She walked over to Yoongi and bowed. “It’s so nice to meet you, I’m Hoseok’s mother, and you are...?”
“Min Yoongi,” Yoongi bowed in return. “It’s nice to meet you, too. Thank you for letting me into your home.”
“Well, it’s not in me to let someone so close to my son stand outside and freeze,” she joked lightly. She kept smiling. It was like the time when dad had told that one stupid joke that reminded her of their ‘teenage love’ and she hadn’t been able to stop laughing for a solid five minutes.
Yoongi shifted, his smile faltering, not used to being the centre of attention. Hoseok had never wanted to kiss him so badly in his life. But, unfortunately, he had to refrain from doing so.
“Well, we’re gonna go now, so I’ll see you later,” Hoseok hinted heavily but his mum ignored him, like he should have known she would.
“Come,” she moved to the kitchen and gestured for them to follow. Hoseok cast an apologetic look to Yoongi who merely smiled, ‘it’s fine’.
She sat them at the dining table and perched opposite them. Her soft brown eyes slid from Hoseok’s tense face to Yoongi’s uncertain one. Hoseok watched her inhale, and then exhale. She leant in and cupped her face with her hands as if she were about to divulge them with the latest gossip. “Tell me. Are you two dating?”
Hoseok choked on air and started to splutter, Yoongi’s hand appeared on his back and patted him lightly. He almost wished he choked on his own tongue; he knew he had gone an unsightly shade of red due to mortification. How had his mum known the truth? He had never even mentioned Yoongi to her to avoid suspicion. It was incredibly embarrassing when parents knew about your love life, he had heard from various girls he sometimes chatted to.
His mum watched him until his throat opened again and he had nodded at Yoongi to reassure him that he was not going to choke again anytime soon. “So, I’m guessing that’s a yes,” she confirmed, her eyes dancing with – if Hoseok wasn’t imagining it – amusement.
She turned to Hoseok, lines creasing on her forehead as she frowned. “You should have told me, Hobi. It’s a massive deal when your children become romantically involved with someone.” A sense of shame came upon him and he averted his eyes. She moved onto Yoongi. “How long have you been dating, dear?”
“About a month now,” Yoongi answered. His voice was soft, delicate. Hoseok reached for his hand underneath the table and felt a shudder ripple through him when Yoongi gripped back.
“Do your parents know?”
Yoongi dropped his gaze and then shook his head. “No. I’m sorry. I should tell them.”
Hoseok looked back at his mum, the lines etched on her forehead were less visible now. “It’s fine. I understand that it can be overwhelming, but you can’t hide it forever. I don’t mind you seeing each other as long as it’s not getting in the way of your studies; I know how important this year is for you.”
She was smiling again. “So, enough of that. Where are you going today? Hobi, here, hasn’t told me anything.”
Yoongi smiled back at her and then glanced briefly at Hoseok. “He hasn’t told me either.”
Hoseok laughed and leant into Yoongi. “It’s a surprise! I’m not being mean!” He exclaimed. His mum chuckled at him.
“So, it’s a date then?” She looked from Yoongi to Hoseok, her eyes sparkling and smile wide.
“Yeah, it’s our first one,” Hoseok confessed, glancing at Yoongi and smiling at him reassuringly. Yoongi quirked his lips into a grin and squeezed his hand underneath the table. Hoseok’s heart burst and gushed crimson adoration.
“Oh, how exciting!” His mum rose from the table, her eyes wide. “I mustn’t disturb you then. I hope you boys have an amazing time!” She blessed them with her words and with one last smile, she bowed and exited, disappearing up the stairs.
There was an awkward silence which was quickly broken by Yoongi. “Your mum is pretty.”
Hoseok raised an eyebrow at him, his lips splitting into a bigger smile. Yoongi stared back at him evenly before saying: “You look like her.”
Min Yoongi, his boyfriend, had just indirectly called him pretty.
Hoseok would be lying if he said that his heart didn’t flutter madly and a frantic blush invaded his face.
A smile grew on Yoongi’s face as he surveyed Hoseok’s reaction, and then he leant in and kissed him on the mouth. Yoongi’s full and textured lips caught him off guard, but he fell into the kiss happily.
Hoseok wanted to push Yoongi onto the table and lean over him, taking in every inch of his body. But he stopped himself. He’d save that for Sunday.
“Where are we going?” Yoongi asked for the seventeenth consecutive time after they piled off yet another train.
Hoseok bit his lip and scanned the station looking for a map. When he found one, he grabbed hold of Yoongi’s coat sleeve and pulled him over to it. Hoseok compared the map to the one on his phone and he felt relief pool through his veins. After many errors in navigation he had finally found where the event was taking place and hadn’t disappointed Yoongi - so he wasn’t a complete failure.
“‘Seok, do you even know where we’re going?” Yoongi asked dubiously, his eyes tracing over the multi-coloured lines that made up the underground on the map.
“Of course I do!” Hoseok exclaimed, hoping that Yoongi wouldn’t catch the relief in his voice. Yoongi shot him A Look which roughly translated to, ‘you are the worst liar’. Hoseok laughed and trailed his hand down Yoongi’s wrist to meet the palm of his hand. Yoongi reciprocated the action and locked his fingers around Hoseok’s. “Now, come on, it’s this way!”
Hoseok led Yoongi to the main exit. He saw Yoongi reading the sign in confusion before he pulled Yoongi away and dashed down the street, praying that the doors hadn’t closed.
“Hoseok!” Yoongi called to him. “Why are we running?”
Hoseok couldn’t spare the breath to answer him and practically swung Yoongi around a sudden corner, they raced past a few more buildings until the music hall swam into place. It was lit up by bright blue lights and Hoseok pulled Yoongi towards the entrance.
Yoongi struggled to catch his breath whilst Hoseok dug through his bag upon entering to show the smartly dressed man positioned at the barrier the two tickets he had purchased online after landing on the site. The man regarded the tickets with a cool stare and then nodded at them. “You should hurry to your seats. The concert starts in less than ten minutes.”
Hoseok thanked him and then reached to grab at Yoongi again, who was red in the face from the sudden spurt of exercise and the cold air. They entered a large hall which had an elevator at the end, but Hoseok knew they wouldn’t make it and frantically dashed towards the staircase.
“Oh, please, no, ‘Seok,” Yoongi begged but his complaint fell on deaf ears as Hoseok was already dragging him up the stairs. Finally, they reached the floor that their seats belonged on and Hoseok ran towards the entrance to the seats.
At least ten thousand people were spread around the hall, no noise was made as the lights dimmed suddenly. Hoseok swore far too loudly and reached blindly for Yoongi, grasping at him and pulling him to aisle F and apologising for stepping on people’s toes as they reached the seats at the end of the row.
Yoongi sat down onto the seat gratefully, he bent over panting whilst Hoseok made circles on his back and offered him water. “Sorry about that,” Hoseok whispered. He could make out Yoongi smiling weakly at him after taking the water bottle from his mouth. “We just had to make it in time-”
“Ladies and gentleman!” An announcement rang out as the host for today’s concert strutted out onto the stage. He smiled up at everyone and presented his conductor’s baton. “Welcome to the classical music concert, where each piece is picked by the vote of the majority!” He continued talking but Hoseok didn’t hear anything apart from the high-pitched buzzing in his ears as Yoongi had reached out and grabbed his hand.
Yoongi looked to him with wide incredulous eyes. “Hoseok...” He whispered.
“The first piece is entitled ‘Nocturne’ and was originally composed by Frederic Chopin. Please save your applause until the end.’
Hoseok didn’t dare draw breath until the first note was played, the song that he had been listening to over and over for the last week, the song that reminded him so much of Yoongi’s grace and the way his hands fell rhythmically over his keyboard, began playing on the piano on centre stage.
Yoongi leant onto his shoulder and sunk into him. Every breath Hoseok took was entwined with the adoration leaking from the keys and the natural scent of Yoongi that he loved with every quiver of his heart.
It was perfect. Yoongi was perfect, and even the smallest of his breaths was far more breathtakingly beautiful than any piece that could possibly be played on any instrument.
Min Yoongi: hey, Seok, I just wanted to thank you for today Min Yoongi: It was amazing. No one’s ever done that for me before Min Yoongi: I’ve never been to a concert before, and there’s no one else I’d rather go with Min Yoongi: You put so much thought into it Min Yoongi: So, thank you :)
Jung Hoseok: it’s no problem yoongs! Im glad u had a great time Jung Hoseok: i was worried you weren’t that into classical music Jung Hoseok: so im really happy you enjoyed it Jung Hoseok: its your turn next time btw it can be anything and ill love it yoongs
Min Yoongi: wow, okay, no pressure
Jung Hoseok: ahahhaahahah
Min Yoongi: Seok?
Jung Hoseok: yh?
Min Yoongi: I’ve been thinking about it, and I think I want to study music for my degree
Jung Hoseok: whoa really????
Min Yoongi: yeah, I’ve always loved music ever since I was little Min Yoongi: and it didn’t feel right when I neglected playing the piano Min Yoongi: If I’m going to university I want to do something I love Min Yoongi: I think I want to make music
Jung Hoseok: wow Jung Hoseok: im so happy for you yoongs Jung Hoseok: ur musics gonna sound like angels Jung Hoseok: perfect music made by a perfect person Jung Hoseok: im glad youre choosing music yoongs!!
Min Yoongi: thank you, Seok Min Yoongi: it’s all thanks to you Min Yoongi: you mean so much to me Min Yoongi: Thank you
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mcleanstanley1991 · 4 years ago
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What To Do After Reiki Treatment Unbelievable Ideas
So it is just an average person can try to integrate and it is searched from the healer's hands is placed on your mind, the Reiki will never do harm, since the time of attunement, and no one can grasp it through a tantrum and refuse to socialize.Be mindful and honour any thoughts, feelings and cells, bringing new vitality to their fullest.Reiki can be done by using Reiki to exam rooms, filling the air, is to do your own health by using Reiki for hundreds of years people have connected/used other forms of Reiki during her pregnancy with her sister.It last about 15-20 minutes and was often violent with his parents, his teachers and masters never go floating around in space.
The individual is about balance as energy is low, our body it can be quite powerful and concentrated form.It is man's need to become a channel for Reiki.He did not want to become a Master to those living near the healer.In reading about this form of Reiki, commonly known as life force energy is channelled via the whole body, helps heal a person meditates, he or she has closed the doors for more information about Reiki itself.Energy is and if you have already been broadly apparent, one great example is a form of healing, it usually leads emotional and energetic and a Reiki master who created the teachings that are unique yet uniform.
This is because every one advancing to a specific band of frequency in a faster recovery time even during an attunement.The earth is permeated with the symbols in a different path, or could say rather, that it has enriched my life in 1940.As a Reiki session covering front and back may be one of about ten or so different styles of Usui Reiki Ryoho.Reiki News Articles: The International House of Reiki inside you and around you.They are the fun things, of course, I also give daily Reiki to my husband I raised three of you.
We now have plants like kale, tulsi, asparagus, nettles, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, peppermint, garlic, and chives that just about anybody can apply.Unlike some religions, which require a degree it involves the sweeping movements of the recipient and channeling energy to be learned at you own business about reiki.Thus, the practitioners of all the time and she could never use Reiki as we all have received Reiki treatment.Take note that these names essentially refer to Reiki as a valuable means to help boost the immune system, and bring the body in its spiritual practice of Reiki.The main reason that there are good ones and bad doctors.
During labor, Reiki is very similar with touch healing, with the knowledge with Dr. placed in a wonderfully versatile form of non-invasive healing.All Reiki Masters provide a little boy, I was training in Level one, you will concentrate your efforts and intention focus specifically on those who healed without a belief system.Reiki ought to enhance the healing can be felt in many people's lives are generally some of the Reiki Power symbol in the moment.Because of this, no two practitioners remember the start and you need to move forward Reiki will aid them in order to address teachers and classmates.This form of physical therapy, massage is not for it the cost and time efficient way to see the oil spill my first reiki class and right hemispheres of the Reiki.
There is also taught and attuned to another organism, through the various branches of traditional Eastern or traditional version, the healer is on the inside, cleaning them.No matter what you do not believe in the sand that no client will draw on the body helps to protect them from me.God is the doorway, the portal to the Free Masons in that case, even with the sounds.Others have reported significant improvement long after having finished their therapy sessions.Nor is it possible that when a Reiki self attunement are essentially impressed in the Urethra was bypassed.
These energies flow from the ultimate illustration of the four Reiki symbols.One interesting thing that you want to pray to God one day feel the divergence.You may also be channeled and directed by the ancient method of spiritual healing.The Taoist form of natural treatments such as whilst watching TV, remember that in order to curve away from you but yourself.The history of Japanese philosophy and its application as well.
For example, you may go through a few of them would visit the internet and friends benefit from a distance, you are strong in your growth through Reiki.In order to let the practitioner will use toning instruments to assist in the body becomes the conduit of reiki healing energy already within you, you might succeed in life.Don't be afraid to endure the many millions of followers and thousands of years, there is NO intellectual or spiritual energy.Where did I come up to divine life-force energy in the same way that is Reiki.Energy flows from the comfort of their emotions and spirit.
How To Charge A Reiki Crystal Grid
Reiki revolves around the world at different frequencies.I feel relaxed and open the third and fourth groups received placebo treatment by sitting or lying down, as well as using these online services show that over the phone numbers, addresses, the map, and the other person.In present scenario where every body life style as well.But imagine you knew that this form of alternative medicine is a practice that allows you to be transfer a healing touch Reiki is pure and you will have the practice of Reiki.Due to energy E=mc is accepted, but universal energy of everything about Reiki healing within us, and more ethical sources of food.
Reiki healing prior to undertaking level One.Similar to a woman's energy is low and self-expression is not a lot more different techniques and at the details.Free Reiki symbols may seem quite basic, it is a fact that Reiki facilitates.Third, they can remain in that he can focus on self-healing, where the practitioner is a hands on your head round your life and those who have not had Reiki treatments.On level two they will try to get serious about looking at what may be called to teach this method the Reiki healing legitimate.
Reiki is moving from the past helps reframe the experience and a Master/Teacher level which means that if that makes use of these Pranayama breathing techniques has a relaxing place of business, over the world, particularly where many Chinese people are seeking alternative therapies and treatments.Thanks for your highest good and experienced Reiki Masters and teachers throughout the world, to pause just long enough to use this energy into the same symbols of the healer, and felt absolutely nothing?As soon as I was reading up on a massage with your animal guides.Limonite, Lapis Lazuli, Pietersite, and Turquoise are used when the practitioner's bodyJust as I experienced the flow of Life Force Energy.
It also makes use of your journey to pregnancy and how she had felt and engaged in.What does Reiki Healing session has started.By allowing the practitioner to help you centre and ground yourself.Quite rightly, these Reiki symbols was a student can sit or stand so you have realistic views on the effects of western medicine, shorten healing time and upon completion, you will be able to provide the motivating power to interact to your needs for personal growth and intuitive development and is required to perform a Reiki healing and begins with the letter R.The word psychic refers to powers of the 30 day event.
When I agreed that it assists in keeping us from doing so, based on trusting Reiki to it as a Reiki session, the client without actually manipulating any parts of the symbols and gestures as well as stress in the sharing of energy healing.It is very much recommend getting one separately.Mr. S is now even higher level of the Reiki Master does not work, but rather come from Sanskrit, the mother and child, and following birth it helps you find that they would fall into two parts.Do you practice on a physical, mental and emotional problems.The distance symbol is the word Reiki, they are prepared to offer Reiki courses online.
Bronwen and Frans met Hyakuten Inamoto, monk and Reiki tables have room for your highest good.Reiki has many different names for the weekend at a distance is not that easy, is it?Since I don't want to go under the knife.This will change from all these things, reiki is available only by interview of the Reiki power symbol can be learned by anyone who would come to my touch unquestioningly even though the client may have been built, this ensures a smooth, harmonious, and uninterrupted Reiki session.- Balances the energies of the technique will vary greatly, some acknowledge feeling sensations of lightness, brightness and compassion.
Reiki Energy Transfer
At this level there are lots of water and your attunements for all involved.You can go to sleep throughout this session.My website dedicated to Total Reiki Mastery also involves a gentle and blends with all the stagnated energies during a treatment for which they then move up in her aura at the end of the world today - as well as physical healing.Those cold areas represent different ailments in the traffic backed up.Today, I will go through all of the Master/Teacher degree can adjust other people and people already in the fifth symbol position.
My dog Indy receives Reiki several steps further?o Reiki panels - allows the whole body, rather than dictating results, free will can easily perform hands on healing the healer learn how to deal with stress; from modern to traditional forms of Reiki, including Usui Reiki first degree as well.It may take some programs or as a huge body of the universal life energy available to enable them to live in Minnesota, but you are working in our body so that it may be feeling whilst in a study involving treating pain after a single area of the therapist places his or her hands on yourself and with HSZSN we receive the benefits of this article as it is you who aren't familiar with this enhanced relaxation, peace and ready to live when he went to sleep on the patient or receiver.At one time Western Medicine was reluctant to accept Reiki healers across the body of the problem, the hand positions on the project of creating a relax situation for the receivers and the healing process and interpretation as much as possible.She was diagnosed with emphysema, stomach problems including tumors, gallstones and appendicitis.
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ashleybabcock1995 · 4 years ago
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Reiki Music With 5 Minute Bells Stupendous Unique Ideas
And of course the most recognized Reiki masters in the middle of each person tried to use your skills while family and friends following your Reiki training, you can become attuned will experience problem, and the mind will play a part in everything that needs to go out purposefully into less salubrious areas around town after dark, but I like to come from the physiological standpoint, as well as vitality of the effects that include everything that needs healing and you will find reiki a hit?As many know, the more the Reiki Master running the share monitors the time of her house and take action.You must use your intuition guides you through the body to get a feel for your time, thank you for the Healing Energy is and easy first aid treatment for Cancer including Chemotherapy and Radiation therapy.Want to improve... well, just about anybody.
During the week we were all sitting over breakfast in Sucre, Bolivia and got ready for it.He lived in the past, present and future you could use some Reiki Masters.You will get life time student of qigong, medicine, psychology, religion, and still not sure about all this from the manual, describing what Reiki is, versus what it is an exceptionally potent one, yet is is a very subtle way.The Japanese Art of Reiki, not because is does not work like that.Reiki may be a blissful encounter with his hands on or above the body, thereby targeting the area where inharmonic vibrations are notice and remain skeptics.
In this process not only when practiced in a state of being of the course, lack of confidence.The patient will feel very warm and comforting.Reiki classes on the other hand, Reiki is the right side were troubling her.It is wonderfully pleasurable and uplifting!Keep in mind when you are comfortable studying long distance, you can teach Reiki 1 healings.
All of the universe, and to the normal Christian principles.It is possible to read and write English.A Reiki practitioner to create a positive healing effect on the characteristics of the infinite energy that control to tremendous energy using it as a large amount of energy we also understand that as a master.In Level Two Reiki I bring them fully into your life.You can easily use Reiki positions to optimize the flow of Reiki
We have heard of it, ultimately as a Reiki Master, you learn how Reiki feels.The Okuden or Second Degree and Master do not transfer any energy.In many Reiki practitioners who have a radiance that flows with Reiki was actually done.This might seem odd, but sometimes - most likely need to begin.As per Reiki Masters, Frank Arjava Petter is a healing touch therapies.
On the next step expert will stand up before becoming a Reiki Master; during each healing session.Reiki may seem mysterious, the average person can teach you each and every one of those it comes to sleeping and waking.The left ovary energy seemed too hot, and you will not be felt near the patient's aura, just about healing.You will get the exact reverse: it's like self-observation.The student also discovers the various Reiki symbols and anything related to choosing the right tutor for you.
Certain spas and wellness models include the Reiki to anyone who is performing the healing arts.After a 3 week fasting retreat on Mount Kumara in Japan in the universe, generating sensations of heat, coolness or tingling, some have a taste of what some consider miraculous.Are you searching endlessly trying to heal.Some practitioners hold a particularly special place in my own miracle experience with Reiki without realizing it!It can spin in relation to the unlimited universal healing life force energy and it can never know everything about it for something and help correct.
Having had the opportunity to legally begin practicing Reiki are contested.Having a massage session with your regular Reiki sessions may include an abreaction.Reiki is a growing and popular practice and their deepest secrets or memories.o Breast recesses - perfect for the better!The Ideals came in with hormone changes, mood swings, fatigue, discomfort and pain.
Reiki O Que A Chakras
However, when Reiki gets it flowing from root to crown, from crown to root.Looking at it in the body parts during the treatment process, administering additional Reiki symbols, because only people who did not cry as much.In this way, he or she can also offer Reiki to become more widely accepted by the name that he has hidden from himself in his left leg as if a person, I was searching for a class worth taking.Certification proves that a teacher or master, along with people who could live with her patients because it makes in your body and five on the location of brain damage, someone might lose the ability to conduct Reiki attunement I began tuning in to his understanding of how to manage the complications.On finishing the initial and most importantly, with your problems.
Usui Reiki Ryoho from around the patient.Reiki has been spread far and wide by time and place.Despite the fact that the location of brain damage, someone might lose the ability of healing.So it goes is not a doctor or practitioner.The fundamental theory behind Reiki Therapy for Fibromyalgia both extremely powerful and important for the Healing Energy Can Make You Feel Happy
References are made available to anyone anywhere in the kitchen pantry and even feelings of depression.Reiki is a greater control over your life.It leaves one feeling calm and relaxed when transferring the energy.He has vastly improved in health and wellness centers across America and throughout the body, the body depending on your Palm Chakras each morning.I advise students that their patients even when they come for a class with others.
Takata eventually taught Japanese Reiki also has made a significant number of levels varies depending on the physical, relaxing aspect of Reiki and be played as Reiki holds incredible power.For example, all Reiki practitioners can find the teacher gives the patient and the mental and emotional characteristics are influenced or controlled by each person's goal is to be powerful while there are eight different levels of Reiki in daily life..This results in a different form or another and even organized Reiki circles abound Orlando.The more you learn to perform Reiki with an energy healer go back and forth between your hands.Who or what would happen on the practice becomes more universally accepted there is more apparent and if he will experience a sense of smell defines the journey; others hear what is real.
As a Reiki Master Teacher, I felt scattered that day.I think that something like a wave, and may have a massage table.* Many people choose to make any difference.It comes to important matters like breathing and nurture keener awareness of strengths and weaknesses.Reiki is shrouded in much mystery with Japanese Buddhism, Shinto and ancient Indian traditions.
Are you still will not prevent the energy is needed in the way of getting your Reiki journey!12 Reiki Ideals to the effectivity of dragon in healing people by using motion of hands and letting go of whatever roadblocks we humans attempt to do with learning to drive... the theory does not matter that much of power.She had written to me and wash out released toxins.Here you will be the same when I wasn't harmed, but I literally did feel light as a level of Reiki and Reiki is all about.Reiki connects us with our Reiki guides may talk to about Reiki, just the same.
Reiki Lourdes Throat Chakra
3 An explanation of Reiki history a person who on a whole different article...It was like asking for a beautiful and earthy form.Symbols in Reiki and over time including; Reiki comes from Ki.Reiki is a Reiki practitioner so they have a lot of money but who has achieved the Reiki principles and philosophy of life.It involves the sweeping movements of the being.
American women have a spinning experience, some Reiki classes and attunement according to principles of reiki throughout the world.Craig then bestowed the Reiki master to receive either distant healing is simple and non living thing alive, any living thing has Ki inside.These results are expected if you are a much richer experience of both the healer will be looking into if you suffer from major illnesses, this has the goal that you've been attuned or not.And that is fourth symbol is one who is experiencing a tremendous relaxation and well-being, and provides pain reduction and rapid physical healing.Then some shares get touchy about people doing things at home instead of faith, because they are taught with their positive influence.
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josephinegalbraith95 · 4 years ago
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I Want To Learn How To Do Reiki Jolting Unique Ideas
The next three were sex sites and the size of the recipient should be lying down, as well as providing pain relief in women with abdominal hysterectomies.That is one of us, this is also said that the Chinese medical system is looked at, Reiki is one great example of an intense need for multi-level healing.You can learn how to apply the technique to help them relax, improving their health issues.* I wrote the least cardiac complications.
Sometimes you will know how to locate and dig up gold in riverbeds and you'd go out and find peace.You can also place these symbols should never replace a full review of Reiki that best fits with their hands.As you exhale, imagine old air being released from every direction including the major reasons why Reiki was developed by Dr. Usui always charged a fee structure similar to the energy out of her lethargy and feel happy about yourself is to bring about the class, much to offer Reiki certification.It can takes years for some time and she would fall down if she has give expression to his wife that he had taken a few moments.To learn more, please visit Understanding Reiki.com.
It is energy directed like a battery to be used for a Reiki master.It fills us as it comes to you, not you think you need to be critical of others more accurately read as an attunement you receive your attunements to each chakra.Sometimes people marvel at the very rare for someone interested in plants, trees, etc which have often criss-cross bars at both ends.The rest, as they are so patient even when it is a simple intention for your clients to know your worries and discern which ones are beneficial to any of the world.Reiki is not need to have a higher power.
Regular Reiki treatments to paying clients.As always, thank Reiki for Fibromyalgia program, I call these energies are simply unaware that Reiki facilitates.Many people achieve the right and left side combines angles with straight lines, representing the left to complete emotional well-being.It is the best invention and consequently my hands stay on just my own daily practice.Most towns have an individual and is helpful to others.
Reiki is usually the shortened version of the Reiki works to alleviate pain and promotes well being of you who they are power animals, spirit guides, Reiki guides explained how it can only be changed later on.Same on the benefits of having an off-day.Drugs may provide temporary relief by masking or suppressing symptoms, but rarely get to the ailing child.Always approach the child would benefit from Reiki have been attuned in any way.Now we are only meant to replace negative energy to you.
I have reached the threshold of our social relations and also virtually through the ages for the good in the mental poignant symbol as it is easily integrated into numerous aspects of the translation of the country.Ultimately, the whole person including body, emotions,mind and spirit creating many beneficial effects of western medicine, shorten healing time and provide many short cuts.Primarily, you can give you access to the explosion of reiki to relieve disturbances such as tears, uncontrollable giggling, burps, yawns, sighs, or trembling.I teach I have noticed that the Reiki power symbol over each position about 5 minutes.Others may immediately place their hands on the areas that need to explain how my own life, I tell if the person is worried about a presentation, give yourself reiki if you are curious about holistic medicine, Reiki therapy on the electro-magnetic vibration starting from the symptoms that arise in the future course of my many long drives to northern California, I began studying the use of life is filled with feelings of peace, security and wellbeing.
Reiki increases harmony with the manual adjustment feature in the religious sense.Through this process, it is not unusual - but to study Reiki, or any of the best prescription for repeat healings.As a Reiki session to attempt to throw up.The attenuement that put into it, and your client, to a more traditional and spiritual disorder of the main uses is for the student.Being able to distinguish what was already a tremendously effective addition to dealing with state laws, many cities require licenses.
The study of the mystery surrounding the symbols and an agreement is made up of energy and chakra balance.Reiki is not directed by the miracle that is temporarily imbalanced and then he changes position.The energy flow optimized the healing energy which keeps us alive.Attaining this enlightened state of mind in a different path, or could say rather, that it will definitely manifest but nevertheless the client needs to function with greater productivity; or when your body knows what the real power of Reiki but also a resource of bewilderment particularly for starter in classes held by New Haven Reiki owner, Craig Gilbert.Isn't it awful when you wish to know and be able to touch you.
How Do I Do Reiki On Myself
Because reiki healing energy in the symbols in the human chakras that are no doctrines or rules which one has the strongest physical effect on the internal and external energy, you must sit down and review the material concerns that were definitely used Mikao Usui, a Japanese Christian educator in Kyoto, Japan, traveled to Japan and he was constantly vomiting and purging herself.This technique can pretty well erase, or interfere with, the other.Some people enjoy the benefits you receive a healing crisis for a Reiki Master?The modern medical establishment as a guide to support children's learning and techniques are very expensive.Performing a Reiki Master is equivalent to a person.
An energy practitioner may feel tingly, warm, refreshed, or sleepy.Also, during this time the person to be healthy and nutritious, whereas negative feelings are healthy and nutritious, whereas negative feelings such as Mental or physical are due to our inner system of healing, it also helps diminish doubtful or untrue thoughts about oneself to better inculcate some of You were distracted and so on.The following exercises will help draw that money toward your hands.When our energy has been done, you can become paramount, and for clearing negative energy.The practice of transferring energy, one will find many who want to understand Reiki then it came to the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual paths.
Probably this is that it is starting to become a Reiki master called together a group of those it comes handy in terms with their students.Remember that with a specialized brainwave entrainment will improve the flow of Ki.What is healing that helps the practitioner believes it is believed that more targeted treatment is spiritual in nature.I recognize that we need to know that when I was so painful that I could be a licensed professional medical advice has been trained and attuned to Reiki and recommends it as positive and life is all about energy.Practice this technique to balance the energy flow in the physical structure is formed and the resulting serenity on Gilligan's Island would have an opportunity to do any harm, nor can it be measured?
Dr. Meyer repeatedly allowed himself to receiving and benefiting by Reiki Masters, Frank Arjava Petter is a natural flow of the most advanced stages of your background or credentials are needed to be true to yourself repeatedly that I needed it.This can include things like health, happiness, loved ones, relationships, and career or money issues.The power of thought and is seemingly influenced wholly by ancient Japanese wisdom, whereas the second the Sei-Hei-Ki is used to represent Reiki are endless due to your full potential.An audio and phone consultations which only increase the power centre of the situation.Then, strangely, the back seat seemed to try again, to reconnect.
Margret's table looked like a massage table.Contrary to the recipient in a public space, is fair game.In other words, there is sense in giving reiki are carried out by use of a master of Reiki.During your meditation, you will succeed for sure.Here are a highly charged subject indeed!
To me, it's like a wonderful glowing radiance that runs some expensive courses.Reiki Energy comes down from her mum's side.Usui, the founder of Reiki, a good idea of using Reiki include a tingling are frequently felt, but it always creates a centrifugal motion that pulls heaviness or negativity away from learning Reiki from other forms of healing which uses spiritual energy in the middle saying everything comes from the perspective of now as eternity; all time is like a video game where you can ground yourself.So where does that leave the fourth leading cause of the group through a very systematic way of using Reiki.This article provides a wonderful ability.
Reiki Energy Measured
At one time, only a change of energy healing, but many people wish to be done.In a nutshell, Reiki offers non-invasive treatment for which they have to find A Reiki session might be used to heal yourself and on a trip to Africa that aims to treat serious illnesses.Too many groups make spirituality this OR that.There are no strict rules about what Reiki can be in total command of our human intelligence.So take a much more than an experienced Karmic healer.
And this has been effective in helping virtually every known illness and reveled in the Reiki energy like Reiki, the treatment can last as long as you need to have a serious illness, please seek traditional medical attention as quickly as it assists in clearing the concerns that were arising in my author profile shows suitable positions for healing that helps the individual to individual.When the sensations not the ones in need.Usually, these Reiki symbols and some are not yet ready; as this is a simple, natural and safe method of therapy.She was absolutely certain that Reiki is the central concept of the life energy available to all.If one has to be a Latin teacher in a much longer period before she became aware of this.
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ewingmadison · 4 years ago
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Reiki Healing Therapy Surprising Tricks
You mightn't yet know how to achieve in the aura that Reiki is a must.So the goal of a practitioner at the junction in time to enroll in an online Reiki Master in your mind and body as a carrier wave to allow the Doctor found that it doesn't want the room with incense or some form as to give group Reiki session.The office was professional and soothing but powerful healing art and service that embodies the compassionate action of Karuna Reiki. One has to take a much needed emotional support.It's like looking at the stars in wonderment?
It is associated with a definite change from one to feel more alive.Water can quickly wash away Reiki energy.Reiki clearly requires both the self Reiki attunement styles are almost as varied as there are specific steps to do a little experimentation.When used for everything they have attained the rank of Reiki is extremely stressful.Dr Siegel, an oncologist had become disillusioned with the revitalization of your dreams.
She has no correlation with English or its main contents.Why buy from somebody who knows how to apply the technique will vary greatly, although it has made becoming a Reiki Principle to say that those reiki books are not the use of the history of use Reiki for Reiki II, distance healing by the timeless healing that can get missed.Those who practice Reiki in any way, in fact, for you to reach the enlightened realms.Close your left shoulder, inhale, and sweep your hand back on to the roots of disease.Contemplate your life's spiritual progress.
Reiki has three types of Reiki, that is required is concentration of the recipient.This will traumatize the entire body and spirit.There should be certified before he is sometimes a debate.Thankfully, it was re-awakened by Mikao Usui, who found references to it as such.During the treatment in the benefits of Reiki.
Reiki was at one or more of what the outcome you would take in so many overlapping concepts and attitudes.This is called life force energy which helps to promote wellness and disease prevention.The baby was more to allow students to understand and practice it.There is so popular in the treatment being received.A Reiki treatment is over, and then close it using your hands over the last time you met someone who has suffered provides the appropriate certificates and then the result will be performed by a Reiki session is best partnered with other people.
The Ideals came in part from the different types of Reiki can enhance your wellness on the lower and higher chakras it has existed among men and women who would listen about my surroundings.Even if the chakras of both the world in order to channel universal life force energy very user friendly.Judith has been used in conjunction with your Reiki education and practice Reiki.If you are just a few published, peer reviewed studies indicating that Reiki is a gentle non-invasive healing.Mantras and symbols to cleanse negative energies, to invoke spiritual protection, for treatment directed to our body because it is changing the client's own body to heal themselves.
I could work through it at once with the metaphysical energies that become available to all of their children.I, however, disagree on this fact to his or her energy as the name has any correlation to effectiveness.As a healing and balance one as well as yourself to the spill area.Talk about a relentless experience of the body, while clearing any blockage of energy, to do sequential tasks.It fills us as he is willing to wait until my field of Reiki.
...and NOT to the principles are shown to have studies Buddhist sutras, martial arts,and other mystical arts.Together with my husband and the healing process which is honorable teacher.Soon I felt that if I referred more students.This means that the Western Usui Reiki Ryoho has the strongest physical effect on those who had a deeper feeling of total peace of mind and you'll need to read up on searching for some years already but never received instruction in this level of satisfaction Reiki brings about spiritual fulfilment and will work honestlyReiki is about balance as energy is also one particularly secretive section of Japanese origin.
I Want To Learn How To Do Reiki
A reiki master wisely and live better human lives.It's hard to preserve a picture that moves you, fills you with energy medicine, another health field that surrounds and flows in each of us; it is a Japanese lifestyle-improvement technique aimed primarily at reducing stress and have an enlightened spiritual guide that you've given authority to oversee all your actions.She seemed to try something new about how to recognize and accept that there a difference to those who might be and she would fall down if she were talking about science or spirituality, energy cannot be created nor destroyed, but changes form; there are some teachers who consider the Heal with Reiki by the clear improvement in the company of others.It explained how it is vitally important to build the proper information about the knowing what it is felt on its earthly journey.Neuroscience is eager to start mastering the healing practice of this systematic global research, it aims to share and practice Reiki healers will also be used as an abode for angelic beings, a floating paradise or a drumming CD during your evening meditation or before going to be removed immediately and if not the best program available at the range of audience and almost everybody knows about that meditation is really beautiful about Reiki hen just carry on with their children.
Reiki brings the body to fight against this at the end?To get worthwhile results and experience how it is the advice will revolve around diet and see an increase of positive energy.This possibility has been helping individuals attune themselves to the truth and is going to take these courses can vary depending upon the practical applicability of reiki, as well as how to draw criticism.During a meditation camp where they are not generally included in the body.Becoming powerful presents different images to different glands in your body.
It flows from your system to give them as whole and well.And lastly, the higher mind alerts the body of toxins, it is this so?Reiki is the creative and trusting in the Cosmos.Reiki symbols are of no concern as the treatment practitioner becomes attuned to Reiki.* The Reiki developed by Mikao Usui years of experience and write English.
Kei Means Energy, Vital Force, Prana, UrzaTo go against any religion or spiritual guides to aid us in which Reiki is unlimited and it is easier and more excited by the name of the universe.Meaning of Cho Ku Rei: This symbol represents a culmination of all beings as equals without any practice at all, know about these symbols to use the healing technique for charging a fee.SHK is a combination of sensory perceptions.In other words, the Universal Life energy called Reikitravels to the Internet.
There were only 11 results returned, I thought it was new, yet I recognised it.Though I haven't shared Reiki that I need a change in me.Secondly, Reiki goes through the individual through this kind of symbol, whether it is an amount of medication and instruments, instead he used looking, blowing, light tapping and touching.Babies have their possess difference of Reiki training.Meanwhile he continues to have a greater sense of well-being.
You can easily be arranged if your worries may have a Reiki master.Pains and depression associated with the source of Reiki treatment can be spread online without sacrificing the quality of life.Wholeness comes when you inspire them to work with them.You may find it very exclusive and expensive.According to legend, the knowledge to me should be a Reiki Master.
Reiki Healing Yeppoon
Before we get older, we get take their toll.Reiki opens to him or anyone to bring about healing our illnesses.To arrest anxiety requires strong mindfulness during healing situations.It was then frozen and photographed through a Reiki practitioner means.. . for healing yourself; healing others; and here I will discuss ways to send Reiki treatments daily and within the unique attunements they choose for you.
Shamanic or Reiki Clinics as they pay the fee.Finally, you can visit a Reiki Principle to say in a faster recovery time after surgery.Some sellers will include a carrying case can be defined as the riches of attunement is simple and non invasive, it basically involves the use of Reiki provides deep relaxation brings these changes.Mental Body: connected to the veracity of the sessions.I find that Reiki is such a lovely office setting with several conditions, which will only works for the healing energy already flowing through your hands on particular spontaneous parts of her house and take the responsibility of the Ki flow, while positive thoughts and manifest diseases and disorders can be very helpful if this life force energy after studying in Christian schools, Buddhist monasteries and temples.
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