#hes like alexa play dark paradise

[bliss-in-the-void]

Okay, just finished binging it. Oh my god. Oh my god. I’m just (spoilers below while I vent)

The CINEMA??????

That scene with the aquarium & the piano music was just so beautiful

So was the scene with the golden sky and unhinged Gojo

Watching Suguru’s descent into madness was oddly beautiful

I was watching that scene of him sitting with bags under his eyes in a white shirt and the things he was saying just broke my heart, I really felt for him, he has such a big heart and was struggling with the way he felt. I wanted to hug him :(

Suguru’s face when Satoru gets stabbed, the shock, the concern for his well-being ugh

“Be careful” bro he CARES for that man

Satoru wanting to kill the star vessel religious freaks and Suguru stopping him

Then Suguru killing an entire village soon after

Satoru’s utter denial about it once he heard, and Shoko just being like “oh u killed a village fr? Lmao crazy” *calls Satoru* “ayo Satoru come get your man” *leaves* she’s SO real

Satoru was so upset by Suguru’s decisions, he looked on the verge of going insane, he’s never looked so angry before. The tight fist until he bled, the gritting of his teeth, the yelling with his voice cracking, the gesticulating—he was getting his heart BROKEN

He knew what a threat Suguru was becoming and he couldn’t kill him

And then the cut to him sulking on the steps

His voice sounded so subdued, another first

Lil Megumi was PRECIOUS

Also I didn’t know Toji’s english VA was the VA for Shisui??? Omg??? I screeched I love Shisui and recognized it immediately

Idk any lore (haven’t read the manga, not sure where I can online) but I think Mei Mei is part of the Gojo clan? Don’t spoil it for me pls if u know

I just love how SatoSugu breaks up and immediately each adopt two kids that’s hilarious

“Oh shit I lost my boyfriend? Better become a dad” LMAOOO

They both want the same thing and go about it different ways ugh the drama the ROMANCE

Anyways 8 days to go until the rest of season 2 drops and I can act even more insane~ stay tuned

More unhinged commentary in the tags LMAO

I just finished jjk season 1, and tonight I’m planning to watch 0 before I do season 2.

I’ve heard it all really starts going downhill from here, so in the spirit of wanting to preserve my innocent mind, I am writing down my thoughts before I watch & will reblog with my updated thoughts.

I hope Inumaki Toge doesn’t die

I hope Nanami Kento doesn’t die (but I have the feeling that he does)

Aoi Todo is a cinnamon roll

I fucking LOVE Nobara

I’ve been added to the hive of Gojo simps

There’s smth about men who are a lil cocky, who make their own rules but have a strong moral code

And ofc he’s physically gorgeous too, MAPPA really just obliterates me with the shots of his eyes

Megumi is so *chefs kiss*

Itadori is honestly one of the more likable protagonists, I relate to him more than other shows I’ve watched

The Jennifer Lawrence thing is funny as all hell like she exists in the jjkcu

It would be hilarious if she did a cameo in some sort of OVA or spin off

I’ve heard the gist of the whole SatoSugu dynamic and while I haven’t seen them on screen together yet, I have seen fanarts & playlists on their relationship and I already ship so hard

With that being said, I am fully expecting to bawl my eyes out over the movie tonight

I have planned to have popcorn and ice cream and will have a box of tissues at the ready

So wish me luck and stay tuned for the updates

[youcoulduseabuddy]

if kotw/kotc/(kotf) was a netflix show or movie playlist with explanations

here is my playlist for if Kingdom of the Wicked & Kingdom of the Cursed (and eventually Kingdom of the Feared) by Kerri Maniscalco was a fantasy romance tv drama, like TVD meets Bridgerton vibes or a movie. Songs 1-38* are KOTW, and the rest (so far) are KOTC. It's a big mix of genres such as alt/indie, folk, some blues, some rock, pop, some R&B, and Vitamin String Quartet covers lol.

More of the "popular" genres and songs begin in the KOTC part of the playlist (song 39* and on)

I hope you like my explanations below

*NOTE: numbering subject to change bc playlists are always ever-evolving :')

Stolen Roses by Karen Elson - gives me italian kingdom, introducing childhood Emilia & Vittoria vibez.

Ninna Ninna (Lullaby) - 8-year-old twins with Nonna

Italian Folk Music Serenade - instrumental intro to Sicily

Sisters of the Moon by Fleetwood Mac - meet the 18-year-olds

Angelboy by Lucian and Jade Alice - Emilia crushing on Antonio like a FEWL (fool).

Cockeye's Song - a scary, dramatic, yet somehow romantic sounding ? instrumental; KOTW summoning/meeting Wrath. Like 1:22 feels like the wind is blowing and they make eye contact for the first time and it being *sparkle sparkle* dEsTinY.

NOT A GOOD MAN WALKING by Liam St. John - Enter/Meet Wrath

The Devil is a Gentleman by Merci Raines - just a Wrath type of song

Met Him Last Night by Demi Lovato & Ariana Grande - self-explanatory

Dark Paradise by Lana Del Rey - I know this song is about LDR's ex-bf that died, but this song reminds me of Emilia mourning Vittoria

No Blood from a Stone by Shawn James - Meet Greed & Envy

The Ghost of You (by MCR) but VSQ cover - instrumental; Viperidae. This song is just heartbreaking about loss, so knowing what we know now about Wrath always having known Emilia (and possibly being in love with her, whoever she was in her past)... part of me is like, well of course he would save her. He couldn't lose her again. cries.

Black Water Lilies by AURORA - Wrath marks Emilia, she thinks she's "reborn"

Thank You for the Venom (VSQ cover) - Instrumental; she's not exactly grateful he saved her life LOL

Ghost (You Don't Know My Name) by Shawn James - Wrath & Emilia meet Antonio in the monastery

What He Don't Know by Anarbor - a potentially jealous Wrath???

Running with Wolves by AURORA - super popular song; Emilia seeking info, learning stuff from Salvatore

I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE by Måneskin - kicking ass vibez

Holy Water by Freya Ridings - continued kicking monsters ass vibez

Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood by Lana Del Rey - Emilia's character getting darker // when she uses dark magic to make the messenger forget. "I'm just a soul whose intentions are good"

Motive by Ariana Grande & Doja Cat - Emilia questioning Wrath's intentions/motives throughout the whole dang book LOL, but esp after hearing from Anir about the marriage bond

Heathens by AURORA - the Lust dance

Like a Stone by Shawn James - mourning vibez, the emptiness; also side note - oh god if we're going by the reincarnation theory that Emilia is the reincarnated version of SOMEONE Wrath was in love with and they were cursed for her to not remember him~~~ oh man oh man, my heart hurts listening to this song while imagining him just waiting by her side. ALEXA PLAY WAIT FOR ME FROM HADESTOWN,,, and oh oh oh if we get more backstory of that, then I would totes put Orpheus by Shawn James as well. yes there's a lot of Shawn James and AURORA songs in here, they've got the spooky vibez y'all.

All is Soft Inside by AURORA - the bath (I just realized there's a bunch of bath scenes in KOTW and KOTC, but you know what I mean)

Better by Pink Sweat$ & KIRBY - Emilia & Wrath bonding at the big palace house thing

Alone With You by Alina Baraz - playing scopa, eating cannolis

A Dangerous Thing by AURORA - just a wrathemilia type of song; internal conflict of feelings

Mad woman by Taylor Swift - more Emilia vibez, Claudia being lowkey collateral damage sadly

Burn the Witch by Shawn James - more witches are dying, Emilia's family threatened by Envy, all things kinda going to shit but not losing hope

Through the Eyes of a Child by AURORA - disillusionment

MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT by Elley Duhé - ooo da make out song

Devil's Backbone by The Civil Wars - Emilia falling for but also denying how she feels toward Wrath; olive branch ring; transition vibez back toward chaos

Fuck Em Only We Know by BANKS - Emilia sad after Wrath sacrifices himself, and she tries to re-summon him and she's sad when he doesn't come bc he was too injured :(

Female Energy, Part 2 by WILLOW - also such a super popular song; just after-sacrifice vibez. This song was hard to place because Emilia's "finding truth" throughout both books, but KOTC has darker vibes than this song has. This song , with the whole "I am human, I am woman" theme and peaceful guitar strumming just fits more with the uncertainty of KOTW for me.

Churchyard by AURORA - Emilia finds out Antonio is a hoe I mean a murderer

Soulless Creatures by AURORA - before she leaves

All the good girls go to hell by billie eilish - it would be a crime if i did not include this song... even though it's about climate change LOL uh, ending events of KOTW, Emilia signing her soul to Pride.

okay this is where the vibez in the playlist transition. Less of the indie folk pop-ish (there still will be), and more R&B, alt/indie-pop to reflect the sassy shift in hell. There is also a lot more of Vitamin String Quartet to reflect the classiness in Hell... like Bridgerton hehe.

Devil Devil by MILCK - the irony. She thinks she's going to Pride, but oooo girl just u WAIT !

Another Day in Purgatory by Merci Raines - START OF KOTC!!! PROLOGUE/PROPHECY vibez

Pomegranate Seeds by Julian Moon - Welcome to hell vibez / if KOTC was a movie (or lets say KOTW was season 1 in my imaginary TV show, and KOTC is season 2 LOL), this would be the intro credits.

You Don't Own Me by SAYGRACE & G-Eazy - more intro vibez AND I think it would just be funny/ironic bc Emilia thinks she belongs to Pride and keeps referencing him as "the devil" and she's sassing Wrath and Wrath is probably just like rofl/lmao-ing/"you-fucking-beautiful-idiot" in his head

Gods & Monsters by Lana Del Rey - another popular choice; SIN CORRIDOR

Orient Express by Italian Orchestra - Instrumental; hypothermia.

Only In My Dreams by The Marias - Wrath nursing Emilia back to health

Fell in Love with a Girl (VSQ cover) - Welcome to House of Wrath Instrumental vibez

Do I Wanna Know (VSQ cover) - Instrumental; libraries, snooping, enchanted skull vibez

Greedy by Ariana Grande - Emilia just being hot before the dinner.

I'm a Sucker for a Liar in a Red Dress by Adam Jensen - Wrath seeing Emilia before the dinner

Hotter than Hell by dula peep Dua Lipa - make out song before dinner LOL

You should see me in a crown by billie eilish - presentation of Emilia to nobility

Bad Habits (VSQ cover) - Instrumental; just dinner vibez idk

Into You by Ariana Grande - during the dinner touches hehehe

Necessary Evil by Nikki Yanofsky - just transition vibez

Bad guy (VSQ cover) - Instrumental; Emilia vs. the pig Makaden or however you spell his name

Doubt It by The Amazons - this song just made me think if Emilia was experiencing internal conflict over her upbringing and where she's at now

Dangerous Woman by Ariana Grande - Crescent Shallows <3

Afterlife by Hailee Steinfeld - Crescent Shallows and after, when Wrath reveals they are eNgÁgEd

Move Your Body by Karra - Emilia has a memory vision of some girl gettin' frreeaakkayy with Wrath (though she doesn't necessarily know its him)

Through the Valley by Shawn James - if there was a backstory song about like Wrath / Emilia with Envy in the library / art thing, The Fallen

Misery Business (VSQ cover) - Instrumental; going back to House of Wrath from House of Envy, meeting that snobby irrelevant girl in the carriage

The Forbidden Fruits of Eden by AURORA - just transition vibez

Our Lady of Sorrows (VSQ cover) - House Envy vibez/ "hello little thief" in the garden vibez

Your Power by billie eilish - Emilia's first training for Gluttony's party that was highkey icky yet somehow necessary I guess

Soul mate by flora cash - ok after he apologized for the ick training - this is for the brief moment where he helps her learn to dance, also just pls listen to this song with the context that wrathemilia were always meant to be and just ~cry~

Cross My Heart I Hope U Die by Meg Smith - Emilia being like wtf y is Antonio doing sabbatical over here, gtfo, what is this a hotel omg

Back to Black (VSQ cover) - Instrumental; just transition vibez

Cake by Melanie Martinez - training for Gluttony

Bad Decisions by Ariana Grande - more training for Gluttony / planning "revenge" on Wrath vibez

...baby one more time by The Marias - same as above, but it turns into the memory

This Is What It Feels Like by BANKS - the memory vision

She's the One by Mount Tyrant - also memory vision; just listen with context that wrathemilia are soulmates again <3

INFERNO by Sub Urban and Bella Poarch - I just imagine this song for a badass entrance of Emilia in her crushed red velvet gown before Gluttony's party vibez

F*ck Me & Feed Me by Rendezvous At Two - literally walking into Gluttony's house and seeing... all that.

Seven Devils by Florence + The Machine - I WOULD BE A FOOOOOL if I didn't include this song. Meet the brothers.

High Enough by K. Flay - Emilia wondering why Wrath didn't come to see her the first night of Gluttony's party / her wondering if he's seeing someone else

Stampede by Lindsey Stirling - Instrumental; Emilia riding out on Tanzie and getting caught vibez

My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (VSQ cover) - instrumental; getting caught, jailed, and then freed by "some" dude

Wicked Games (VSQ cover) - instrumental; Gluttony masquerade vibez

Dancing with the Devil by Demi Lovato - pretty self explanatory

All My Girls Like to Fight by Hope Tala - THIS IS MY FAVE song in this playlist. There was an interview where the artist said she "wanted to portray women as having strength and agency in the narrative" and oof I just love this as like a tango song if Pride and Emilia were dancing to a tango and she's a badass.

What it means to be a girl by EMELINE - this song just gives me ANY house vibez but I think especially at Gluttony's party when Emilia's among all the boiz (except sloth? poor sloth. the disrespect) and it just reminds me of Emilia really trying her best to keep up with them and/or outsmart them (particularly, Pride at the moment)

If You Let Me by Alina Baraz - tryst vibez hehehe

More than Enough by Alina Baraz - same as above

Give You What You Like by Avril Lavigne - it makes me sad that this song would match bc its about two lonely people looking for intimacy & companionship. Yet, it kind of does match. Emilia ultimately does kind of use Wrath in this moment (the tryst).

I Want You To Stay by Victor Lundberg & Matt Bloyd - Wrath asks her if she's ready to choose him but then she frickin' drugs him.

MONTERO (Call Me By Your Name) (VSQ cover) - Instrumental; Emilia going to the Cursed Tree to learn the truth about Wrath; transition vibez

Power by Isak Danielson - Wrath being a sad boi in the kitchen after Emilia frickin' drugged him to find out the truth about him which is kind of excessive but welp

I Fell in Love with the Devil by Avril Lavigne - when Emilia breaks the leaf and Wrath holds onto her, afraid she's going to be destroyed

Call Out My Name by The Weeknd - Wrath hurt, Emilia highkey judging him for being the devil

Murder Song (5,4,3,2,1) by AURORA - just aftermath type of song; I just think this song relates well to Wrath and his decision making. He would do dark things for what is just and to protect Emilia, etc.

Devil's Resting Place by Laura Marling - Emilia riding Tanzie and learning all she can about stuff vibez

Centuries (VSQ cover) - Instrumental; putting puzzle pieces together bc of Celestia

The Devil's Daughters by Shawn James - Ending of KOTC, seeing Vittoria and she's SUS vibez. Emilia running back to Wrath's castle. Also my inclusion/reintroduction of Shawn James songs (more folk/rock) which I featured more in the beginning of the playlist for KOTW rather than KOTC is my attempt at nodding back to the vibes of KOTW now that Vittoria is "back".

No One Knows by Shawn James - oooo what's gonna happen next

Warrior by AURORA - Emilia turning point where she's like "I don't care who started it now, everyones been fucking lying to me and i'm pISSED" alternatively "I don't care who started it but i'm fuckign ENDING IT" vibez

Lilith by Ellise - So yeah, Vittoria is SUS / Emilia is REALLY coming into her Reputation era but my gurl is not basic

VILLAIN by K/DA, Madison Beer & Kim Petras - More pissed off vibez. okay... if any of you read the KOTF first chapter excerpt... I would save this song for that actually.

Ancient Dreams in a Modern Land by MARINA - my other FAVE song in this playlist, its just badass emilia concluding vibez

Sometimes by Ariana Grande - Emilia realizing Wrath's been there the entire time and she needs him to help her with her emotions/rage, etc <3

Loving You by Rendezvous At Two - "then I suggest coming to bed, your majesty" AKDJFKLDSJFKL omg im sweating

Past Lives by BØRNS - ending credits type of song

Hate You + Love You by Cheat Codes, AJ Mitchell - more ending credits LOL (you know how like when watch a movie too long and there's more credits songs, and eventually its just awkwardly quiet)

Fairytale by Alexander Rybak - BONUS SONG - did anyone read the Wrath POV chapters???? well, this song is dedicated to the sister i'm assuming the devil fell in love with *wink winK*

DARKSIDE by Neoni - Kingdom of the Feared !

[thebachelordiaries]

Clare seeks HIMBO: ‘The Bachelorette’ cast first impressions

The Covid-19 pandemic has been rough for the entire world, but Bachelor Nation faced some dark days too. Going eight months without a single new episode from The Bachelor franchise is something I would really like to not relive.

Fortunately, those dark days are over. Clare’s season has me sucked back in. 

The quality of this image is atrocious.

Most of these men—presuming they followed CDC’s social distancing guidelines— haven’t seen a woman in months, are touch deprived, possibly unemployed and contemplating moving back to their hometown while stalking the housing market on Zillow. Everyone’s desperate. That makes for some pretty good TV.

This season features men ranging from ages 26 to 41. We’ve got a boy band manager, a grooming specialist, several men who look like they masturbate in front of full length mirrors and even more who probably want me to join their MLM pyramid scheme. 

I’ve never been more ready to roast a bunch of men who have nightmares about going bald. It’s all I’ve wanted to do since March.

Let’s go:

AJ, 28, Software sales

AJ is the kind of guy who writes “Looking for the Pam to my Jim <3″ on his Bumble profile. His bio is generic and probably not reflective of who he is as a person. If I were Clare I’d swipe left.

Ben, 29, Army ranger veteran

“Ben's favorite indulgence is an ice bath.“ Well then.

Alexa, play “Run” by AWOLNATION.

Bennett, 36, Wealth management consultant

Bennett’s profile is the biggest red flag I’ve ever seen. This man says he is the total package but hasn’t always been "this successful and good looking.” But wait, there’s more: “According to Bennett, his high school girlfriend is the only girl he's ever had to work for.“

Can someone tell me what NYC neighborhood he lives in so I can blacklist it?

Blake M1, 31, Male grooming specialist

Blake’s just another stereotypical “29th round draft pick who sat on the bench of the practice team before getting cut, but claims he left the sport due to an injury on his own accord.” 

Blake M2, 29, Wildlife manager

This Blake is an outdoorsy Canadian who seems pretty genuine and cool. Unfortunately, he has the face of someone who’d get sent home on night one. I hope I’m wrong.

Brandon, 28, Real Estate Agent

Just another boring hot person. Nothing to see here.

Brendan, 30, Commercial roofer

Brandan, not to be confused for Brandon, “loves some good true crime, working out and hanging out with his friends.” I can’t even make fun of this man. We have the exact same interests. 

Chasen, 31, IT account executive

The Winklevoss twins are actually triplets and Chasen is their long lost brother. But more seriously, have you ever seen someone who looks more like their name than this man?

Chris, 27, Landscape design salesman

“Chris hopes to find a woman who is sharp and witty but also easygoing.” Chris, sweetheart, have you met Clare? Easygoing...? There’s still time back out of this before it’s too late.

Dale, 31, Former pro football wide receiver

Dale aggressively screams “Bachelor material.” I’d say he’s auditioning for that role but Matt James already scooped it up. Better luck next year, Daley.

Demar, 26, Spin cycling instructor

Demar is a “very popular spin instructor in Scottsdale and says he can get on that bike and spin to any beat thrown his way.” Imagine how many trophy wives Demar has f*cked? 

Eazy, 29, Sports marketing agent

Eazy is very similar to Dale on paper. Except his name is Eazy so he automatically loses that battle.

Ed, 33, Health care salesman

“Ed is looking to find a woman who has natural beauty without looking overly fake.” Ed deserves to die alone.

Garin, 34, Professor of Journalism

Garin’s bio is giving me hubby material vibes. And maybe a little bit of a “gets eliminated on night one” vibe too.

Ivan, 28, Aeronautical Engineer

Ivan, what are you doing here? We’re in a recession. Please go back to your normal job before it’s too late. 

Jason, 31, Former pro football linemen

“He is a former NFL offensive lineman who, after suffering too many concussions on the field, decided to prioritize his health and change the direction of his life.” A big, brawny HIMBO with CTE? I feel like he’s Clare’s type.

Jay, 29, Fitness director

There are too many things about Jay that I dislike and I’m trying to keep this brief. Jay says “it's time to take a break from worrying about others and focus on himself instead.” I am willing to bet money that this man has never made a woman c*m.

Jeremy, 40, Banker

Jeremy is the oldest contestant ever to come on "The Bachelorette,” which may seem like a monuments accomplishment but he’s literally only one year older than Clare. 

He also “hates Instagram models, both male and female,” so he should have a lot of fun here.

Joe, 36, Anesthesiologist

Before I even saw his profession and location, I thought Joe looked like a doctor I’d find on a NYC dating app...and...uh...I probably did see him on there now that I think about it.

Anyway, this man has apparently been through seven stages of hell while on the front lines fighting Covid-19 in NYC so I definitely think he deserves to find love. Someone marry him please.

Jordan C, 26, Software account executive

I can already tell Jordan is going to get the “I’m young but mature” edit which means he’s probably not going to be good TV.

Too bad someone a tad younger (like Tayshia) wasn’t the Bachelorette. I feel like they’d make a cute couple.

Jordan M., 30, Cyber security engineer

I was going to say something mean but Jordan’s into cyber security and I don’t want my blog to be deactivated, so never mind. Cast photos are historically bad so I’m sure he looks much better in real life.

Kenny, 39, Boy band manager

I could go for the obvious drags regarding this man’s profession (or his sh*tty chest tattoo, or his suspiciously boyish face relative to his age), but I like to think I’m more clever than that. 

I’d like to take this time to talk about men, who are obviously difficult people, who rant and rave about how they want an “easygoing” woman. Look into the mirror, bud. No, not the one you use to jerk off to your reflection; the mirror that looks into your soul. Out of respect for the rest of humankind, have some self-awareness. Or maybe just see a therapist.

Mike, 38, Digital media advisor

Mike is seemingly a decent catch, but I can’t help but wonder why he’s still single or how he never (accidentally or on purpose) impregnated a woman in his 38 years of life. 

And now that I’m thinking about it, do any of these men have children? I have yet to see any mention of it in their bios. But there are eight men left to review, so there’s still time.

Page, 37, Chef

I spoke too soon. Page is a father! He also hates football! I’m a fan of this man. I was initially going to drag him for his name and say that Page is not a real name. PAIGE is a real name. PAGE is a piece of paper. I’m allowed to say this because we have the same name except mine is spelled the correct way. Based on my (mostly positive) review of his cast bio, I have decided not to hold his name against him.

Riley, 30, Long Island City

Riley, once married with children, would like to go on a family vacation that consists of touring every single MLB stadium in the country. If i were his wife, I would simply never give this man children.

Robby, 30, Insurance broker

No more Robbys on The Bachelorette. Society has evolved past its need for more Robbys.

This Robby described his dream woman as: “Incredibly athletic and able to throw back a few beers with him after a day of hiking. She has a sweet personality and won't mind that he spends his Sundays on the golf course.”

Someone please give this man a sex doll. He just wants a hole.

Tyler C., 27, Lawyer

“Tyler C. is a badass lawyer who says he is a businessman by day and a cowboy by night.” How does that make him a lawyer? Does this mean he’s into cosplay? I’m confused.

Tyler S., 36, Music manager

Tyler makes an honorable living off riding his brother’s dick success as a country singer. “He just LOVES his job!” Uh yeah, I would too if I had a low-show, high-paying job off the merits of nepotism. It’s the American dream.

Yosef, 30, Medical device salesman

Another dad! He’s totally going to pull the “girl dad” narrative. That saying is kind of sexist to me but the masses generally eat it up, so I’m fairly confident Yosef will get the "sweet guy” edit he’s looking for.

Zac C., 36, Addiction specialist

“He loves Philadelphia sports and dreams of sharing a Philly Cheesesteak with his future wife while watching the Eagles win a Super Bowl.” This man is so South Jersey it hurts. 

On a more serious note, I don’t think anyone in recent history has spoken openly about their personal struggle with addiction on this show, so I hope Zac gets a chance to tell his story. 

Zach J., 37, Cleaning service owner

Zach is seemingly obsessed with Clare already and hopes to introduce her to his mom as his fiancée. Since Zach watched Clare on Juan Pablo’s season, you’d think he’d know that Clare would first meet his mom during the final four hometown dates. Assuming he makes it that far. My prediction is that he won’t.

Final thoughts

After eight long months Bachelor Mondays are back!!!

Uhh....wait.

Actually, we now have the less-exciting Bachelor Tuesdays. Yeah, it definitely doesn’t have the same ring to it. But I’ll take anything at this point.

Here are my final predictions:

First impression rose: Dale. It just looks like he can turn on the bullsh*t charm

Final rose: Jason. Clare wants a HIMBO I just know it.

Bachelor: nobody (Matt James is The Bachelor)

Most likely to get engaged on Bachelor in Paradise: Blake M2

Most likely to get canceled online: Bennett

Most likely to get sent home night one but deserve better: Chris

Who are your favorite men cast on this season?