#hes kinda pitiful tbh??? like-- just a little pathetic

[languor-em]

Theo's Adventures in The Lands Between (EP 3: ITS GRAFTIN' TIME!)

In which our exhausted tarnished suggests psychological help to Godrick the Grafted, and proceeds to get their shit rocked. Again.

[spacexseven]

Okok so I have an idea that just came to mind and I wanna know what you think about this

So I was thinking about darling in subordinate au what if they had a crush on dazai/chuuya (or both) at the beginning? I'd imagine they'd get bullied so badly for this

Tbh this is kinda like one of your posts with the yanderes going after a darling they previously rejected

Im gonna do chuuya for this because…i have a feeling i’ve discussed something about liking dazai for this au before…?

it’s easy to be fooled by chuuya at first sight, when you only notice his soft smile from a far distance away. and maybe, because of all the time you spent being crushed under dazai’s heel, it’s even easier to create a fantasy version of him in your head, and fall for him—hard. you tell yourself that if you worked hard enough, dazai would eventually have to let you go, or maybe if he gets tired of you, he’ll shift you over to someone else, maybe even chuuya. you liked to believe that he wouldn’t be so cruel and condescending, just for the little solace your imagination brought you. you liked to believe he would be a better boss, and an even better friend. 

of course, all your hopes are dashed when you actually meet him. for starters, chuuya rarely let go of his deep scowl, especially around you and dazai. suddenly, he was so much more intimidating, and the callous way he treated you, whether out of irritation or just because he knew kind treatment would only get dazai angry, only served to make you more terrified. he glares at you, and his words are sharp, painful; like he knows exactly how to get to you. this was far from the chuuya you saw all those days ago. dazai’s perceptive enough to catch on to your longing looks and the droop in your shoulders, and he’s simultaneously amused and annoyed by it. was he giving you so little work that you had time to be catching feelings?

regardless, you suffer. you bury yourself in the work dazai gives you in a pathetic attempt at trying to ignore the heartbreak, and the less you see chuuya, the easier it gets. you foolishly believe that that would be the end of it.

while you’re busy trying to make sure you don’t die while completing the tasks assigned to dazai, you fail to realize that someone else has noticed the lack of your presence. perhaps it’s because chuuya has begun to see you like an extension of dazai; the tail of his shadow, but it felt unnatural to see the taller man prance around the building without you dragging your feet behind him. he would have been stupid to not notice you gawking over him, and chuuya was far too perceptive to miss the dejected expression on your face every time you got remotely close to him, but he just didn’t care. it didn’t matter to him that you probably just wanted a friend—everyone here were barely managing to look out for themselves, let alone make friends, but the part that bothered him the most was how small you looked beside dazai. chuuya was no stranger to witnessing dazai’s more sadistic side, but somehow, he was infuriated by the thought that you could only ever obey the fool’s orders if you wanted to live. it bothered him even more that he couldn’t involve himself in any way, but he wouldn’t be caught dead pitying you. you deserved better than his pity. admiration, maybe for making it this far despite the cruel circumstances. sympathy, because he knew how hard it could be to deal with dazai, but not pity.

somewhere along the way, his feelings of admiration and sympathy and something else turns into a strange fascination, shows as an unexpected interest. he has an eye out for you all the time, just to make sure you aren’t dead in a ditch somewhere. his angry cursing focuses more on dazai and not on you. instead you’re graced with a strange half-smile, if only for a moment. some of the black lizard member, the ones who pick on you—dazai’s pet, as they like to call you, jeering—are found brutally beaten, half-dead and silent despite all demands to know who the attacker was. dazai giggles as he tells you this, like he knows something you don’t. then his voice goes cold and he reminds you that you’re only safe by his side, as his pet. better the devil you know, right? (not that you’d ever claim to know dazai). even mori regards you with slight apprehension, as if in disbelief over something. 

the question remains unasked; how did you, measly little thing, cause so much trouble?

chuuya’s acts go unnoticed by you, in fact, you don’t spare him the light of day, more on edge by dazai’s warnings and the strange way everyone seems to watch you. his attempts at conversation register to you as veiled threats, and you’re far too frightened by him to spend even a moment more lingering around him once you sense his presence. maybe the distance should disappoint him, but chuuya’s vague interest in you hasn’t developed that far yet. besides, it’s not too bad to watch over you from afar. 

once it does get worse, though, chuuya will try to clear up the misunderstandings. he demands for more of your time, insists that dazai can’t make use of you, stands up for you publicly and makes it clear that he disapproves of dazai’s treatment of you. anything to make you realize his intentions. 

[fumikomiyasaki]

A new beginning

Continuation of this Story

Marcos and Réne belong to @terrovaniadorm James belongs to @twsted-princess

Days passed... each time Carol visited RSA Yuzuha made some time to accompany her to the Crystaleon dorm just to make sure his brother wasn't gonna bother her again... it was also his excuse to chat her up... he noticed some more reasons why he was interested in her... despite her having some predictable traits, what more lured him in was the things she hid a little about herself... he used his Um and stumbled upon some very interesting details on her... no wonder his brother was after her but he also noticed far more people after her than that.

May it be that pathetic hero boy from the incremania dorm to some of the more popular students of HSA to a lot of eyes lurking after her... it kinda amused him how she barely noticed many of their glances unless it was someone she was attracted to herself.

But moreso getting to know her was to finally have someone who would listen to his more morbid ideas and theorize about them rationally... Carol listened and thought everything through...eventually as both chatted a little he suddenly saw her wave to someone else... he knew him to well.

James was a similar funny case to her... surrounded by so many people who adored him yet too dense to notice it... watching them talk was like a fun sitcom of awkwardness... even if he was a friend of him he couldn't help, he had to make a comment about it.

"If it isn't good ol Jam. So you two know another?"

"Yuzu..."

"Jam? " A slight giggle left Carols lips... the name was kinda cute but also James could only sigh about it... he looked a little confused at Yuzuha as he spoke up.

"I only accompany miss Tutor here so my brother doesn't annoy her don't worry."

"I heard... I didn't expect him off all people to be related to you."

"Well he is just a walking Corpse anyways... far from my brother... he really should have stayed dead."

Carol and James looked another both eyes fell onto him as he gritted his teeth.

"Spare me the pity I am fine."

This was not fully the truth... he truely hated his brother... things werent great before Yasunos death... Yuzuha knew full well the extent on how many guys his Mom was cheating on his dad with but at least she was a money source... after everything came out with Yasunos death and His father questioning things more Yuzuha and his father had to fend for themselves to life... his father too broken for a while...Yuzuha having to accept more Questionable Jobs... eventually faking everything just for some living.

"Yuzu... you seem out of it."

As he snapped back to reality he noticed Carol and James sitting next to him as she put a Hand on his for comfort. He laughed a little and answered Sarcastically.

"You two really are some goody two shoes, shall I give you a kiss as reward for the sentiment?"

Even if it was a tease both of them suddenly grew red and seemed a bit nervous.... much to his amusement as he gave a calm nod.

"I deal with my brother... I can't shove him back to death but at least I can ruin his reputation so staff might put him more in line."

Carol calmed but sighed a little.

"I just wish I wouldn't have to rely on the protection of you two... I told Yasuno a dozen times I am not interested.... even yelled at him... I pushed away Barry and told him to not bother me but-"

"You can't blame yourself if Idiots don't understand how to get a girl really. And tbh.. I have fun making them both suffer in my own way."

Yuzuhas smile may have been a bit on the smug side but Carol couldn't help to smile back James also gave a nod behind him.

"If you feel unsafe, we will be there for you."

"Thank you... I really can't thank you enough."

The three went seperate ways for the day but... the next day Yuzuha was falling back into his old slump... staying quiet... avoiding people... and getting bored of the world again.. even if he appreciated the new people close to him he felt like something was lurking... old guilt was welling up... thinking about what he done to get here.. what he had to hide... he felt not worth being in their life... why would he when he barely was genuine with them even if they would accept his genuine self.

Carol stopped by his dormitory but she noticed him forcing emotions again.

"Yuzuha... you know you don't have to hide your emotions?"

"Oh.... I must have gotten used to it."

"Listen if you have anything you want to talk about, you know I am willing to listen."

Even if he usually admired her dedication to help a lot, his current state of mind didn't want to deal with it. Especially cause he noticed the more he spend time with her the more he noticed why his brother was enarmored with her and.... became similarly affected by a slight heartbeat when talking to her.

"You really want all my attention do you?~ You know that will cost extra?"

"Yuzu... I am serious."

He sighed... even his teases didn't help to cover up some of his feelings.

"I am sorry... I don't feel up to talking today."

It pained him to leave like this but... he didn't want to let his emotional termoil hurt her... or make her think less off him.. and so he dwelled more into staying alone for the next days.

A big party at RSA was helt to celebrate the after exams as Yuzuha looked down at the celebrations from the school building... he was not in the mood for it at all.. yet on his way through the halls he ran into his usual friends... Marcos was teasing James again, Louis and Kaeru were a wall Réne hid behind as they approached him.

"Yuzu, why are you all alone by yourself?"

"Just leave me be really... this work as a host was this week stressfull enough."

His eyes darkened, a sharp glare as Louis suddenly walked up to him and gripped him by his shirt.

"Whats your problem... these past few weeks you been doing nothing but moping and sitting in self pity... what happened to the Yuzuha who would talk smack at me for some of my clothing choices... or would always have something sharp to say."

"Lou, please... let him be."

Kaeru put a hand on Louis shoulder as Yuzuha suddenly started laughing.

"Bullshit really... your not the only one who has a shitty past life you know, Lou... but heck I am not sharing the shit I been through for your guys sanity... I surpress my emotions because I don't want to deal with it. You guys are the only ones who partly know my true face."

Silence spread across the room as Yuzuha took a sigh and clinged onto his arm.

"I am sorry..."

"Geez Yuzu, why don't you just talk about this earlier?"

Marcos said it a little more to spike something in him but he couldn't really talk much untill taking a deep breath.

"I... had depression for a while now... its been growing recently more the more I was reminded of the past while seeing my brother... and I don't want to bother anyone with it."

James stood next to him putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I know its hard but tell us about it, we can listen and maybe do something to make it better."

"Its... that I get moreso destructive as you seen... and I don't want anyone to deal with it."

Kaeru went to the other side and gave him a pat on the back.

"So what, you know a lot of us can handle some smack talk?"

"Oh you can now? As a cute squishball."

"Now that is the Yuzu we know."

Eventually after a while the group chatted more calmer and Yuzuha also relaxed.... feeling a bit more at ease yet as most others left he stopped James by holding his wrist.

"Can I talk to you alone for a little while?"

James gave him a nod and waited till the others left although Marcos gave them both a smug glance as if assuming something.

"I want to be fair with you... as a friend... maybe even a bit more than that... I know full well Carol and You have a crush on another... its obvious to see from afar."

"W-what?"

"Don't act surprised.. you are way to dense to notice it... "

Hearing this James somewhat showed a small smile under a blush yet before he could say anything Yuzuha looked him serious in the eye.

"It so happens I have a crush on her as well... and I wanted you to know to have a fair chance... cause I plan to tell her the next days."

"You..."

Yuzuhas face turned from serious to calm and put a hand on his.

"I don't want this to be a petty rivalry cause... I do enjoy messing with you as well... we could maybe also be together as a group if she is up to it but... I just wanted to say no matter what decision you make or she makes.. no hard feelings... I don't want us to have a fight over this. That is why I wanted to say it."

James was speechless hearing this, as he felt Yuzuha place a small kiss on his cheek and smirked.

"You have 5 days to think about it... enough time for me to hopefully restore my bond with her and confess to her so... I hope you made up your mind till then."

Eventually he left... leaving James a little dumbfounded, red and confused... trying to order what he was supposed to feel... not sure what he was supposed to do... sure he since the start always has been drawn in by Yuzuhas flirts and teases but...

Days passed Carol was glad Yuzuha finally was able to speak normally to her again and that he accompanied her like before... sharing some book recommendations and all... yet despite it all the tension between James and Yuzuha was big after that cheek kiss... where would his heart lead him... and so he counted the days on the calendar.

[raisinchallah]

well i guess dio girls never lose.. feeling so vindicated for my weird phantom blood obsession back in my jojo era the phantom blood musical is like crazy good.. having seen a number of really bad manga adaptations into musicals i had no clue what to expect except i did know in my heart a musical was the perfect medium for such a dramatic overwrought story.. they really fixed all the pacing issues and turned the drama up to 11 kind of the perfect adaptation perhaps... as a certified musical theater nerd i will say the music was often not that good and especially in the beginning i think struggled with the musical theater form like it felt like there were a few too many scenes that would talk about drama and then sing a song about the same thing rather than letting the songs guide the plot but as the show progressed that became less and less of a problem.. speedwagon rapping tho that was always unforgivable... i think the most delightful deployment of classic musical theater archetypes was zeppelis little showman/salesman routine the hamon razzle dazzle number really highlight of the show to me truly so so fun :3c mamoru miyano truly giving a performance of a lifetime i was honestly soooo nervous about like sad softboy dio after my various forays into death note media including the musical regularly making light yagami like more of a sad good boy whos trying that kinda felt like they ruined the character and energy of the whole affair so again trepidatious but they really hit such a perfect note on the whole thing where he was just sooooo pathetic and so pitiful but he would alternate between real tears and crocodile tears to get what he wanted at any moment and never felt like they were trying to truly soften his character or change his motivations and actually felt quite at ease with his traditional over the top evil performance and worked so perfectly with the high drama musical theater theatrics i think without the change it would have felt a lot more flat they gave both dio and jonathan recognizable character arcs and motivations and made all their emotions huuuge and i think really strengthened the material tbh i think jonathan was maybe the biggest surprise hes always been a bit of a tough read for me and much as i love phantom blood hes kind of been a nonentity to me but he was kind of perfect in the musical like the musical theater form really suits him so much better than just straight action making him the good hearted romantic lead type in a musical while also beefing up the levels to his drama with dio and he truly had so much pathos and such an absolutely charming performance and oh my god my god the staging like all the choreography was constantly surprising and delighting me the entire final confrontation with dio was honestly i was just sitting there like wow wow woow the magic of the stage time of my life i think i will say tho i did spend a good chunk of the musical giggling to myself imagining dio as like a cockney street urchin in like oliver or something or like what if little orphan annie was an evil vampire these were the jokes running thru my head and you know i did like the ensemble oh heres the news here are the events lets describe london numbers but like they were immediately being compared unfavorably to sweeney todd because i am a cruel and harsh viewer with hate in my heart who can only think of broadway masterpiece sweeney todd when watching musicals about iconic anime villains im sorry that is my burden to carry in this world i mean the show could have done with no place like london but you know...

[yunhohours]

same anon from earlier today and g o d that advice came entirely too late bc i already went over it a few more times and i think i am down bad, very bad 😭 it's been hours and yunho is still stuck in my head, specifically the whole orgasm denial thing i can see it so well helpppp 😭 that part really made me think "yunho + fake pity 👀" and now i don't know how to stop thinking about it 🙃 it's just so awful to my heart how do you survive?? (also i am literally so attracted to hands it's kinda baffling yunho wasn't my first choice tbh)

sorry for the spam i shall try to contain myself now (oh and can i maybe be 🧃 anon? 🥺)

HAHAH part of me feels sorry for the torture that you're about to endure being down bad for yunho every moment of your life, but the other part is just like... welcome <3 tbh i do NOT survive. ask my friends - i don't think i'm alive atp i'm like a feral undead yunho fiend and that is all. and his hands... i've always had a hand kink but HIS hands. awooooo i'm like a werewolf forcibly changing under the full moon

yunho + fake pity... like when he's working his fingers inside of you and he can sense that you're getting close because you're writhing around and making all kinds of pretty, pathetic sounds so he pulls them out, laughing somehow affectionately and cruelly at the same time. and when you're blinking at him because you can't believe he'd do that to you he's just smiling down at you for a second before he suddenly lifts his brows and rounds his puppy eyes even further, pretending he's confused. "what is it, baby? is something the matter?" and he makes you say it. only to laugh a little more. "aww. poor needy little thing." he lets his fingers tease around where you want them. "must be sooo frustrating wanting to cum so bad but you just can't without me, mm?" please god take me now

[tottymatsuno]

One of these days i wanna actually draw out this whole scene instead of sketching it but dhahsbi talked aboit this w hollie and think their dynamic is rly interesting to watch esp as Touhi ages.

Read more if u dare

So as a preface, these are characters i made for two aus that just kinda became the same au. One of it was a fic I wrote called baby blues, and the other was the "old au" that i previously shared with another person.

The old au was about second chance love when you're an older person/after hitting rock bottom. And it involved a younger design of todomatsu from an episode in s3. Since i couldnt ship with that totty, i decided to recycle his design as my son! However since this was a second chance love story, thematically Todomatsu needed to be a single father of the character, and thus thats how Goonie was created!

So his mother passed away during childbirth, and since irl I'm baby crazy, and was a coworker/unofficial work wife (bc i look eerily similar to his home wife), we end up sleeping w each other a few months after the baby is born for mutually pathetic reasons. Then kinda move in together bc Todomatsu's grieving and very very resentful towards his son to the point where he cant even give the baby a proper name at first. So initially his name is Matsuno Matsumatsu 😭

Anyways thats the big crux of the au. Ive written about Totty's dynamic with Goonie (a nickname i chose for silly reasons i dont care abojt getting into, but its a personal one) where there isn't any grief and its wildly different where theyre mutually loving and cute together as parent and child, which is unfortunately a not relationship theyll ever have jn this au.

When touhi is little hes very sweet and kind and innocent except when hes angry, bc when hes angry he vents all of his frustration about the emotional neglect Todomatsu has specifically for him. And it takes Todomatsu a LONG time to fully get over the loss of his late wife. Like two whole sets of twins later. So totty is kinda openly blaming him the entire relationship

Which makes me spoil him a lot in comparison, which touhi also notices and it makes him even more mad because I'm not as strict with him as everyone else, out of pity so he feels like he's not *really* my son bc of it.

This all comes to a head multiple times when touhis a teenager but i think its more realistic that each time it happens, even if his emotions are validated and accepted, and even if we try to do right by him, that Touhi never receives any closure for it. Eventually he feels even more complex because we do love him, and have apologized to him, but it doesnt really help bc what he wants is to be able to further justify his own poor behavior but can't bc he doesn't have the excuse of "well my parents dont love me and never said sorry"

When we do.

Anyways i always thought touhi would be the only one to inherit tottys delayed puberty, but unlike Todomatsu who began HRT after graduating high school, touhi was considered pretty popular with his age group and suffered no real set backs, and waited until he went thru puberty naturally in his mid 20s.

His relationship mellows out significantly post puberty and post angsty teenage years, esp when Todomatsu transitions. He gets this weird sort of idea that since Todomatsu’s no longer his father, he could be the better version of her since he has the same face.

So he and Chichi, who like. Still thinks he's cool despite him being a fuckboy (Tima sorta hates his guts for it tho bc she basically sees it as if hes using his generally happy upbringing as an excuse to be a slut and play around with his peers feelings for literally no reason and tbh shes right for it but i cant judge bc hes my son and i support him right or wrong) are like. Both trying to be cooler than Todomatsu.

So Todomi or whichever name i settled on kinda just side eyes them, and this rly breaks both of their confidence in the matter since Touhi later realizes his mullet really was stupid and Chichi wears those big ass dorky glasses and they both actually really respected and was influenced by Totty's style when she was all dressed up.

Anyways Touhi grows up kinds being in between being a silly cutie, and actually succeeding with the whole heart-breaker thing Todomatsu tried to do around his age.

I get the feeling tho he's not gonna ever claim any kids he does happen to have in the future, and cant see him getting married, but he'd definitely be a fun uncle.

You all must click my uncropped and quickly done sketches of my children to understand her headache. Here they are thru out the years.

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

Thoughts on, Invader Zim Quarterly: Holiday Special

WEEEE WISH YOU A MERRY JINGLY WE WISH YOU A MERRY JINGLY!

Ahhhhh It’s out! I’m so excited!

But I always get excited when it has my man Membrane and my man Eric Trueheart involved with the comics. 

Also santa..   Tbh, I was excited and nervous about this quarterly. 

Excited because it has Membrane santa backstory...

But I was nervous because that it means they might bring back the santa-blob monster from the Holiday special on the TV... and The Christmas special is one of my least favorite IZ episodes...   I mean... I rewatch it occasionally, and it’s fun, but I’m just kinda used to IZ having more BITE in it’s satire if you know what I mean? The Christmas Special in the IZ universe doesn’t really say anything about the capitalism of Christmas... it’s not like IZ hasn’t made fun of capitalism before. (that’s the whole show)  The Christmas Special in the show just kinda fell flat of my expectations of what an Invader Zim episode should be....

The only thing I respect the Holiday Special for, is that it goes down the “Santa isn’t real” route in a kid’s show and sticks to it. (there’s no “real santa” that shows up and “solves everything”) All of the “Santa’s Helpers” confused the Santa mythos with the Christianity Jesus mythos. (”waiting one day for his return”) Which makes sense, since IZ is like dystopian future Suburbia Hell. I just kinda like that there’s no “real santa” that interfered to “fix everything” and that Zim himself ended up CREATING Santa when he didn’t exist previously. Like I find that kinda cool...

Other then that, I just kinda wanted something else from the Hoilday special then what I got. (It taking priority over scrapped episodes like “the trail” and “Ten minutes to doom” and “mopiness of doom” does not help it’s case in being one of my C-tier episodes...) 

So maybe this quarterly will fill the void of what I wanted out of a Holiday special? Well, let’s see. 

SPOILERS FOR THE QUARTERLY BELOW THE CUT

Ways to get Dana off-board immediately: Monster Santa is canon. 

I always never liked to view the special as canon for ways that it fell flat before.

And I had the excuse of saying that the snowman was an unreliable narrator and I could adapt it down the line in my fic as a different story. 

I just didn’t like the idea of Monster-horror-blob santa...  Like... Cool design... but he just kinda represents everything I disliked about the special...  (including the major inconsistency of when Tak’s ship got fixed...)

But then again.. I need to remember IZ’s lore isn’t as consistent as I think it is sometimes... 

Okay, fine. Monster blob santa real... what else you got for me, Holiday special?

FACE HUGGER SANTA! FACE HUGGER SANTA! I AM NOT INTO IT! 

WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! NO. DANA HATES THIS!

Okay, kinda into it because this means that ZIM CREATED SANTA in this mythos... I am dying.... wait.. this takes place in the future then...soo...?

haoFhaGHAOhfgg 

It was all a dream?!  

GOOD.

my heart couldn’t take it if horror-santa was real... 

Also... that nightcap and bed... Does this mean we’re going to have an Invader Zim Christmas Carol?!?!?! I know that’s been adapted a schmillion times but I would be so into that.... 

Also... Flying... hamm...

Good ol’ Zim... Repressing those memories...  

Also this being the THIRD ETF reference in a quarterly, It can be very safe to say the Quarterly issues take place after the events of ETF.

Clembrane exists in the Quarterly, Membrane has robot arms, Zim remembers this (kinda)  Yeah this is definately ETF verse and it’s here to stay. 

Christmas Carol?! I’m down for this... and I can’t help but notice their claws look familiar

OH HOLY HELL I WAS RIGHT! THESE GUYS! I LOVE THESE GUYS?!

Why are you here tho?

I’m a bit lost on why these guys wanta take over the earth, but they’re hilarious so I’m just glad they’re here.

Also...   The Christmas Special is Schrodinger's Christmas... did it happen, or was it a dream, or the tales of a lunatic snowman... I guess I’ll never know. 

The issue goes on for an IZ Christmas Carol parody (heck yea) and the visions are all hilarious and I’m not gonna spoil them here... but...

Eric.... this is terrifying..........thanks I hate it. 

TINY DIB THOUGH! GHAOGHAHGAHAHA

THIS IS GREAT

THE MORE DIB SUFFERS THE MORE I LOVE IT!

“Though I am Dib and sickly father”

I’m dying XDDDDD

Also... What the fuck is Zim’s reaction here... 

I find it funny that Zim has put Dib into simulated realities before... (in the show and comics) and in the show, Dib is all powerful and in the comics, Dib is just himself and Zim is his brother..

But seeing a simulated Dib all weak and pathetic and chronically ill BOTHERS ZIM?!?!

That’s... well that’s interesting. 

Thought he’d laugh at this honestly, but he seems greatly annoyed... 

I CHANGED MY MIND! THIS IS THE BEST THING! 

(those who know me know why I’m dying over this)

YES!!!

ZIM DOESN’T LIKE WHEN PEOPLE FEEL BAD FOR HIM OR PITY HIM! 

(which confirms like a lot of my hcs and adds spicy kindling to my au much mad respect) 

This I find interesting...  Zim complepative over his lonely/abandoned grave. It’s like he really doesn’t know how to feel. It’s more of a numbness then a sadness. Or he noticed how empty his life is... 

He feels lonely and empty about it...  which tracks considering how Zim’s greatest fear in the Trial was to be deleted and never be remembered by anyone. 

I don’t know... This panel makes me feel things...

Johnen: Haha. Zim’s not that deep a character.

Eric: Hey for the Christmas special, let’s have Zim parody a Christmas carol and feel lonely staring at his own empty grave when he realizes no one cares about him or misses him.

Johnen: Cool. Do it. 

What are you two assholes doing to me, man?! I have feelings! 

AND ONCE AGAIN!

Zim hates pity and people feeling bad and sorry for him. 

Man this makes me so sad...  And it really feels like this issue looked into my brain again, cause I have some plans relating to Zim not wanting sympathy or pity from anyone later down the line (okay I’ll shut up about my au. We’re talking Zim here)

And of course, Zim breaks everything like he usually does. (this time on purpose)

Also nice callback that Zim remembered that Dib said he liked his boots one time in the Poop-wizard issue. 

Also, it ends? I guess this quarterly has a few shorter stories this time... which I’m fine with. 

Also, Zim should consider Green and Blue like D-list friends at this point and just invite them in for some fundip or something (come on, Zim, it’s Christmas.....) 

GASP!?!?!

LITTLE MEMBRANE!!!

AND GRANDPARENTS CONFIRMED!!! 

Wait... so his Parents are scientists too? Is that why he always wanted to be a scientist?

But then wait.... If Membrane inherited Membrane Labs from his parents... Why is HIS FACE the brand of the Company?..... There’s so much Membrane-face brand merch in the show. (it decorates his home..) 

Like even if they were dead, if his parents founded Membrane labs, I feel they’d still be the face. of the company... (that’s how a lot of corporate faces are these days... they show some old dead guy who made the company as opposed to the son who inherited the Company.... Like everyone knows who Walt Disney/Mickey Mouse is, but unless you pay close attention to that kinda thing, not everyone knows who the current chairman or CEO is in the modern age....)

I just find that a bit odd. 

Anyways... I feel people can still do what they want with Membrane’s parents and get away with it. I’m not changing my “his parents were farmers” headcanon. Sorry comic..

BUT I LOVE THEIR DESIGNS.

I love how Membrane looks a lot like his mother, and his father is just BUFF GAZ with a pipe.... Truely legends. 

GASP!!!

COLLEGEBRANE COLLEGEBRANE COLLEGEBRANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOOKOUT DIB, THIS IS YOUR FUTURE!

I FUCKING LOVE HOW OILY HE LOOKS.. AND IT ADDS UP CAUSE...

The Membrane Men when they don’t shower or bathe in months.....

Someone help these two.

(thank god Membrane got better at personal hygiene.) 

Also Teenbrane STILL has his human arms and not his robo-arms.

This means he loses his arms later in life...  YUSH HORRAY FOR HEADCANNONS BEING VALIDATED!

He didn’t lose his arms in a shark accident when he was a KID! It happened WAY LATER!

NICE!

OH MY GOD HE IS BABY!

HE IS SO SHY AND ACKWARD! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

I LOVE HIM!

He is just... all sweat and hiding his work but also very passionate and spiteful. 

Like you can see who he grew up to become, and you can also see how a kid like Dib came out of a man like him...

But I love social anxiety awkward early twenties/late teens Membrane... He is a baby! 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

MEMBRANE ;w;

Basically, Membrane knows that Santa isn’t real, but he doesn’t want to be mad at his parents so he harbors a grudge on Santa instead... THAT’S SO SWEET I’M CRYING  TTmTT

LIKE THAT IS SO SWEET AND I’M CRYING!

(also I love how me and Ceph understand Membrane’s character too well that the gesture he does in the 2nd panel here are reminisant of our fic so many times... Like we have his mannerisms down and I love when the mask slips from Membrane and we get to see a real person... augh soo good) 

WHO GAVE THEM THE RIGHT TO MAKE MY MAN THIS SAD?! ONLY I CAN MAKE HIM SAD!

MEMBRANE TTMTT

AUUUGHH

Also probably guessing the parents are dead...   I’m just laughing at their designs... 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Yes you are, Professor Membrane... Don’t let anyone tell you different. (actually, please do) Well, I mean,  At least you’re trying and get progressively better.

(also... this probably means everytime Dib has asked his Dad for a dangerous weapon to fight Zim with, Membrane just gives it to him no questions asked and I’m doing a MAJOR concern about this man’s parenting skills... get help please good sir!) 

Also, Dib really saved the day again here (like he did in Dib’s big day)

Dib called about destroying santa when Membrane was in one of his lowest points...  He hides it really well...   Especially from his children..

Ah..  I loved that one.

But I’m a huge Membrane Simp though.

I did find the stuff about Membrane’s parents a little weird... like I said regarding how Membrane’s face is the brand of Membrane labs...

Could be true that they were other scientists and that Membrane founded Membrane labs later... but that seems highly unlikely... 

Also... Why does the house look that hug when in the christmas special, it looked kinda like...well... just not that, and kinda more humble from the interior and not some big rocket lab...

So yeah... AMAZING character building for Membrane (which I eat up)

Hilarious Grandparent Designs. But I still prefer @esthyradler​ ‘s Grandparents. The superior Grandparents.

Anyways... The Quarterly was GREAT! 

I kinda find it funny the Zim story is the weaker one of the two again... But I honestly blame the Christmas Horror blob connection and the Christmas Carol parody. 

Or maybe my Membrane Bias is clouding my mind here.  I do have Zim bias but sometimes Zim can frustrate me. There’s just so many times Zim can do and say the same things you know? Zim is my baby, but sometimes his denial and annoyance with everyone can be very predictable at points. Zim was just way more fun in the last quarterly than this one. 

With Membrane it’s more of a blank slate what to do with him cause he ony started really mattering as a character since ETF. Yes, I do love show Membrane, but I admit he wasn’t exactly a character then. More of a presence and excuse for why Dib had access to lab equipment. With Dib’s Dilemma and this Hoilday special, the Quarterly folks seem determined to turn him into a fully realized character with the rest of the cast and I’m extremely excited to hear that!

(Computer issue/backstory WHEN?!) 

I don’t really have ratings or systems for these but hope you liked my thoughts.

Merry Christmas everyone.

[youthofpandas]

Speaking of NGE, I've only ever watched the movies myself and I remember not liking Shinji at all, like he was really fighting for the position of my least favorite protag. I'm curious to know why you like him! Is he perhaps written better in the series or manga? :0c

I’ve still only watched the original series (one and a half times) and end of eva movie but I really wanna get to the rebuild movies and manga soon (manga shinji seems wild. gay and homophobic legend) but anyways! Totally understand why you wouldn’t like him, I think he’s kind of… like That

I think Shinji is written to be unlikable in many parts of the story, hes just a pathetic little guy tbh. he accepted at a super young age that he must be fundamentally unlovable and he’s meant to go through life being abandoned. he would rather die than express the honest feeling of loving another person! he knows exactly how pathetic and cowardly he is and it can be kinda hard to watch him just exist like that… depressed and avoiding things. he isn’t a very active protag, and his arc is slow and he does. so many annoying things. the first time I watched nge I kind of just pitied him? Didn’t like him, just felt bad he was like this. But by the ending (of the show I think? It’s been so long I don’t quite remember which ending is from what) he really comes alive. he accepts love and happiness and decides to live and makes the most active choice he’s ever made in his entire life to keep on going!

I like the ladies in the series way more at the end of the day and they make it worth it for me. on rewatch Misato and Ritsuko carry the show a lot more than I realized lmao. Also I’m sure half of my tolerance of Shinji’s sad lil guy personality comes directly from liking Kaworu so much and if the guy who invented gay rights likes Shinji I can like him too 😤😤

[lassieposting]

Hi i havent read the books post-resurrection so im kinda lost on why you dont like phase 2 val? She was easily one of my favourite characters ever, she was flawed (and the books took time to acknowledge them) and relatable and still really admirable (intelligent, brave, loyal) and i really liked her and really appreciated that she wasn’t perfect unlike every other young adult heroines. What went wrong😢😢😢😢

Okay I'm gonna put this under a cut because I very strongly dislike phase 2 val and I know it bugs people who don't feel the same, so. Dead dove dont eat

Okay so first off, phase 1 val and phase 2 val are completely different people. literally. phase 1 val was based on an ex-friend of lardo's who used to apparently be involved pretty heavily in like, editing the books and "she'd react like this" or "val wouldn't say that", and that val she was one of my favourite fictional characters from when book one came out to the release of resurrection. phase 2 val is based on his whiny little girlfriend who likes to start shit with 14yos on twitter, and you can absolutely tell she is no longer the same person. so the long story short of "what went wrong" is "the original irl val's friendship with dirty laundry ended for whatever reason and he decided to retcon her entire personality to suit his gf"

Phase 2 Val, in my opinion:

Weak, like won't even fight back when she gets jumped bc boo fucking hoo she's so awful, bitch get up already, nobody signed up for ur pity party

Whiny. So fucking whiny. All the time. And she's the POV character so it's inescapable.

"Pacifist" but in a really pathetic virtue-signalling kind of way like "Oh, I've done such terrible thiiiiiiiiiiings I'm so awfulllllllllllll look how good I'm trying to be nowwwwwwww pay attention to meeeeeeee" kind of way, it was both boring and a massive eye roll. It's a book about magic and asskicking. Kick some ass. We're here for escapism not "realistic" whining. Yes, irl she'd be a mess. As an author it's his job to strike a balance between the "realism" he wants to portray and making his readers so depressed and done with his heroine that they quit reading, and in my case, he absolutely failed.

Everything must be about her at all times. Skug is having personal problems? Fuck him, they're about her now. Everything is about how it affects her, and her feelings, and be damned to the person actually having the problem. Fucks phase 2 val cain gives about anyone except herself: 0

Bitter and jaded. Which yeah I get why but it's like jesus christ what do we get out of reading about this? It's not even good bitter and jaded where it makes you empathise or admire her strength in adversity or whatever, she's just become a really nasty person with no redeeming features that I could see. Which? Landy outright said she's based on his gf? If your boyfriend is gonna drag ur entire personality through the dirt like that and write "you" as just a collection of incredibly negative traits...yikes.

Really ungrateful about the awesome life she leads? Which bugs me bc I fucking hate mundanity and knowing that all there is to life is fucking working and bad mental health. I would kill to live her life. All she does is moan about it. Like? Quit then. Fuck off back to being a mortal if it's that bad and live the shitty life you wanted to get away from in the first place. That way we'd get no more books, and quite honestly, thank fuck for that. But anyway, she needs to pick one, stick with it, and stop complaining about whatever she chose.

The girl wallows in self pity. And if someone else isn't indulging her enough, she'll wallow harder and louder and more obviously. Yawn.

Her POV is now so depressing to read that Resurrection literally tanked my mental health. I'm not kidding. I fell off the self-harm wagon, the suicidal thoughts came back, reading her dissociating would make me dissociate, I just did not cope whatsoever. Being in her head was just like being in my head during my worst points, and I hate myself, so naturally, I hate her too. Like I get why some people like phase two val. I get that her depression is "realistic" and that trauma does just make some people completely dislikeable and self-pitying, and if people want to read about that, then...sure. you do you, my dudes. But I live that reality, I am that person whose trauma made her a dysfunctional, isolated bitch, and I hate, passionately, having it infest the media I consume to escape.

Essentially if I wanted to engage with a bitter, spiteful, depressed piece of shit in her 20s who pushes everyone away and sucks at everything, I'd live my gd life. Yall see me tryna engage with my real life? Hell nah I'm on tumblr dot com burying my head up the ass of whatever fandom will force my brain to produce some s e r o t o n i n and that is what I need this series for

Also? The dynamic she had with skug in phase one? "Until the end"? "You save me, I save you, that's how we work"? Forget that, it doesn't exist anymore. I stopped reading after Midnight, because she was written like he was a coworker she could barely tolerate. They went from "Lardo confirms on twitter that they talked on the phone a bunch while she was in america and he'd always ask her to come home" to "she comes home and proceeds to blank him for five months while she sits in her fuckin multimillionaire's mansion feeling sorry for herself". Their friendship completely disintegrated, they were totally separated for most of the book, she's written as not giving a single shit about him. She treated him like dirt, and their dynamic basically felt like it was becoming "Local Man With History Of Gravitating Towards Abusive Women Makes Same Terrible Choices For Fifth Time" and? that was the point of no return to me. he supports her unconditionally, no matter what he's going through at the time, he's walked on broken bones to try and get to her when she was in danger, she can tell him anything and he'd never use it against her. I did not, for one second in phase two, believe she felt the same about him. tbh it felt like she could - and wanted to - drop him at the first opportunity and not even feel bad about it, and that's not the dynamic that made me so emotionally attached to phase one. i signed up for "until the end", not whatever bullshit phase two has going on.

Apparently she's "less depressed" now and their relationship is "better" in the books published since midnight, which! might well be true. but I haven't read them and don't intend to, and she's gone from one of my favourite fictional characters ever (which! was impressive! because i almost never bond with the female lead - i normally get attached exclusively to the character i crush on, which would be skug here. val was the first female lead i actually cared about since xena! so im deeply salty about losing her!) to a character i? honestly prefer to pretend doesn't exist. i live in war era dead men/generals crackship land because that way, i don't have to acknowledge her or the fuckin character assassination phase 2 pulled on her.

so yeah, no hate towards phase one val at all. phase one val was awesome and flawed and gave me something to aspire to despite my shitty mental health and trauma, and if she'd kept her original personality she might still have been those things. but the original "real life" val is no longer involved (and doesn't talk to landy at all anymore, apparently), and the val based on landy's insufferable gf? i cannot get behind her at all ever, four for skug and none for phase two val cain bye

(tldr; you're not missing anything by quitting after spx)

[redxblueihateloveyou]

What would you say are Rin and Haru's biggest flaws, individually?

Hmmm... I think when it comes to Haru, it’s firstly his stubborness, like he’s one of those people who would rather go broke, than budge from their life principles, which is not necessarily bad in my opinion, but it’s just very impractical and sometimes can lead to, well.. season 2 kind of thing, when you know... you gotta think about your future and realize that in reality you can’t be “fully free” in life, or like how you gonna pay the bills haha (like I skipped school a lot like him too, but this kind of thing doesn’t really matter if you can pass anyway, cause you smart without them and like reading, but after school you still gotta do smth, and even tho I undestand the whole “turning smth I adore into profession can make me hate it” dilemma, there’s still ways of figuring out how to go around it, which thanks to Rin he did, so it’s all ok).

But that was like s1-2 Haru’s problem, now he’s completely changed and grew up so nicely and behaves like an adult and does everything he needs to do, once he realized what his dream is, plus he didn’t even faulter after the Albert thing and I was so proud of him, I just didn’t expect such radical growth tbh, so it’s getting harder to find the flaws in him lol

The second one (and that once again not now!Haru related), but it’s been mentioned in the books too is his unwillingness to accept help. He’s like a real tough cookie, when it comes to this. Like the only two people who can make him do it and whom he allows to are Rin and Nagisa. And that's mainly because they manage to do it in a way that doesn’t hurt his dignity, I think. Cause like with Makoto for example, Haru stated that every time he tries to help him, he does it in a way, that makes him feel pathetic and weak, like Makoto is pitying him. And I don’t know if anybody ever experienced this, but when you feel like someone pities you, normal people’s pride just won’t allow to accept any help like this, and when it comes to ppl like Haru (and coming from a person like this xD), he’d rather die somewhere in a dumpster, than accept it haha. Which leads to situations like “I’ll let all Makoto’s mom food rot in the fridge, but won’t touch it, even if I starve and pass out.. cause I have my own rice, you bitch” haha

And I know it’s kinda a bad trait to have maybe, but I understand it. Plus it’s really mostly past Haru related, I mean, after the last movie, when they released a scene, when Haru himself went to ask Ryuuji to train him (well, in his own savage way, ofc and disrespectfully in the middle of the night haha, but still), I kinda think he’s dealing with this real good and gonna be okay. But in case something too drastic happens, everyone knows they should call Rin lmao, but now it’s okay, since he’s gonna be always near us anyways:)

Rin... well, his biggest problem in my opinion is the fact that he’s complitely oblivious when it comes to reading people’s feelings. And I mean, most might think that’s it no biggy and just a cool trick to have, but no needed in general, but to be honest it can really help you in life, and in Rin’s case, literally half of his problems wouldn’t even be there in the first place. 

I know, it’s very ironic, since he’s obsessed with watching melodramas and it’s really funny in moments, like when he thinks Gou is into Momo or smth like that... like him being clueless about other ppl is pretty harmless. But when it comes to his personal love life it’s just, it gets sad and just absurd. Like okay, he didn’t get that Haru didn’t want to let him go and that he was heartbroken seeing him cry (although since when Haru runs after people, and physically refuses to let them go idk), but he also apparently thought that Haru asking him to call him was just him being polite... and even after everything was resolved and Haru dropped the new team and everything, just to say that without him he doesn’t even need swimming, and after knowing that Haru wasn’t even swimming all these years... he still didn’t get what it was about. And let me just remind you, that he returned home on each holiday with a thought that Haru didn’t want to see him and when Gou said that it killed me, it seriously killed me!

He wants to call Haru, but then he doesn’t, cause “what if he disturbs him”... when Haru literally said to his face that he can’t wait to see him again, when they went to their sakura date, when Haru was all “pls come back soon”... but nah, Rin’s brain still went “he doesn’t want to hear you, let me pine here”.

He fucking thought that Haru called him and ran to him in the middle of the night... because he was intersted in Gou. I’m... shoot me, pls.

I literally know only two fictional characters who were oblivious to this extent. And the other one had to die, reincarnate, and be on the verge of dying again to realise this and only after he was told openly by another person “bitch ya blind”, so I honestly do not know how do we deal with this here lmao

The second one (and that once again mostly about past Rin and I think it’s fine in that age)... he was a drama queen, he’s like “I quit!!!!!!!!” and he throws his goggles and he kicks the trash bins and squeezes and throws cans around, but we all know that he just needs to calm down a bit and he’s gonna keep going xD And that’s perfectly fine, I mean, I have such days, too, but the problem is that many people around him actually take his words seriously, so like, idk... I get it, everyone gets emotional, but maybe be careful about throwing words like “I never have to swim with you ever again” out there, some things are hard to forget, even when they’re said in the heat of the moment. Like, did you ever like say smth in the middle of the fight that you didn’t mean, but just cause you knew it would hurt the other? This is like very common, but still wouldn’t recommend xD And it applies to both of them actually, like Mr.”What dream? What future?” is no better haha, although Rin still wins the crown, cause in s1 he was offended by literally everyone, and he was like little Godzilla all cause he thought Haru didn’t want him back lmao. Which really leads us back to his first and only problem:D

P.S. Their biggest flaws tbh were just like a normal part of growing up thing in my opinion. I just feel like they were both extra in their own kind of ways back then, but now... looking at them now, the way they talk, the way they behave.. I mean, they grew up so nicely and their characters progressed so nicely, that I don’t even know what flaws they have now.. well, except for Rin still not getting anything, when it comes to Haru’s feelings. He was like “you’re the one for me” and Haru went “same” and Rin went “hahaha well, okay, we must not say that, do you want me to show you how to put your seat down?” and then he fell asleep... yeah #EXTREMELYSLOWBURN #YOUMIGHTDIEWATCHINGTHEMBUTITSOKAY #TOTALLYWORTHIT

I’m just literally waiting for them in 2021 to have a scene from the memes:

Person A: I love you.

Person B *is heartbroken*: Who is You? Do I even know him?

Person A *points at B*: No. You. I’m in love with you.

Person B *turns around to see that there’s no one behind him and starts crying* Well, of course you’d love this beautiful piece of air, before you loved me.

Person A: Jesus fucking christ on a pogo stick...

[thatyanderecritic]

Kuro to Kin no Hirakanai Kagi

Title: Kuro to Kin no Hirakanai Kagi

Media: Anime and Otome Game. Made by Little Cheese

Yandere(s): Ikuto Sonomura (& others)

Yandere Scale: 1/5

Criticism written by: Kai 

Editor: Julie

The Review:

Hey there everyone, Kai here with another review. This was a hentai anime that I knew about for quite a long time, but I never actually came around to watching it. It’s something I always seen as a gif and back in the day, finding good anime streaming sites were hard… especially for something that wasn’t that popular. So, when I saw the title on the list of yandere media that Julie wanted me to check out (y’all thought I was joking when I said “Julie gave me homework”), I knew this was the perfect chance to know what everyone is talking about. And boy, a part of me is glad that I watched it and the other part of me wished I never knew about this god forsaken series. That being said, on with the review.

Okay, so Kuro to Kin no Hirakanai Kagi is a story that can be easily summed up in a couple of sentences. Kanade Sonomura, the heroine, is some pathetic shut in who avoided high school because she’s a massive loser (the writers at Little Cheese are a creative bunch, huh?). But then one day, she magically wanted to go out and have a haircut. After giving her best performance of being the most cliched doormat MC, she got a haircut and got “empowered” to go back to school. And then romance and fucking, the end :) 

If you couldn’t tell, I found the anime to be insanely boring. A whole lot of nothing going on for a whole lot of “something” (I notice that this is a trend for all the stories I have to read/watch on this list). The only exciting thing was the sex and even that was “meh” at best since it’s so out of place because everything in between was dead air. I can’t even imagine what the otome game was like. That shit has to be unplayable. Slice of life is already a boring genre but slice of life with just nothing is even worse. Truth be told, I was at first wondering if I should apply the hentai tax here since there’s just so much “plot” in the anime before the actual ecchi scenes. There’s a difference between “plot with sex” vs. “sex with plot”. Plot with sex should be a story that’s able to stand on it’s own without the sex and still be considered something good. But sex with plot is when the plot is just bad without sex and it’s only there to give an excuse for the sex scene… basically acting as flavoring. Technically, either one is fine. Porn is porn but in the case of yanderes, it gives the character a weaker foundation. The character isn’t a “yandere” because of love but a “yandere” for lust. Let’s move on to the main course that people want to know, is Ikuto a yandere?

Barely. He’s just a hentai yandere. No substance and all flash. Just there to help you flick the bean then you toss him in the trash like a used tissue. Practically no yandere actions but a whole lotta rapey/hentai actions. I guess he says some cute yandere words and that’s about it. What’s laughable is the plot he was shoved in. And that “yandere” dream sequence doesn’t count. It’s a dream sequence, not reality. Would have preferred if this was just a straight up hentai… he might have a higher score. But the ending was kinda fucked up where he yelled to both his school’s and the neighboring school’s student population.

Yo, I was tripping balls when I saw this part. He literally said “Big sister is my girlfriend.” For a moment, I thought I was in Alabama, bruh. Straight up hentai logic with everyone cheering them and voting them as best couple. I already said I’m desensitized to incest and other kinks but you don’t do this shit in public!!!

But I’m sure you’re all wondering about the otome game version. I know I was. Apparently, Kuro to Kin is actually a yandere otome game! All the guys are supposed to be yanderes. Originally, this was supposed to be a review on Ikuto but I decided to toss all the other guys in too. And I’m safe to say that they’re all ⅕ too. That anime is literally the otome game. Boring slice of life plot and porn… an otome game that’s a porn with plot game. All the routes look pretty much the same but different sex positions. And the yandere actions are downright laughable… even the reviewers in the reviews I read all agree in saying “You’re calling these guys yanderes?!” Some of the guys are a little creepier than others but not by much tbh. They’re strong in one aspect and just lose points in others.

For those who are wondering about the yandere score: -1 point for hentai tax, -1 for lack of yandere actions besides jealousy, -1 point of just weak background for a yandere, -1 for just being yandere out of the blue for no real reason. They’re literally hanging on by a thread with a pity point since I acknowledge that these guys are only fuck dolls who are yanderes because of #kink. Hentai characters aren’t known for being dynamic characters.

Anyways, anime is wack. Otome game is wack. All the guys are yandere enough for a person to enjoy a good wank.

PS: the anime quality is literally the same quality as a normal hentai. Y’all can’t tell me this shit ain’t a hentai.

Overall Score: 3/10

[kuro-shit-posts]

Hello love I hope you enjoy your request! I wasnt sure if you wanted nsfw or not so i took the liberty of adding just in case.

Also @brokensilence19 is a new scenarios blogs and is super sweet and talented so you guys should go check them out!! ———————— Ciel: Turn Ons (SFW): •I.n.t.e.l.l.i.g.e.n.c.e, he loves that stuff, platonic, romantic, everything in between, intellect is a major turn on to him

•Playful banter. Ciel loves bickering and aruging even though he likes to put up the front that he’s too mature for such childish behavior

•Ciel enjoys being challenged but at the same time he likes winning even more, so someone who is a great opponent but still not great enough to beat him would definitely intrigue him

•Ciel kinda has a thing for people with an aura of sorrow about them

•He’s drawn to someone who is familiar with tragedy in the same way he is, he finds comfort in a kindred spirit

•He likes when someone takes that sadness or tragedy and uses it to benefit themselves like he does with his own misery, instead of letting it weigh them dosn

Turn offs: (Sfw) •Definitely immaturity

•Ciel hates this because he has such a maturity complex, being around someone else whom acts like a child reminds of the fact that he himself is, by definition, a child and he hates being reminded of that

•I would say stupidity to a degree

•Someone who isn’t incredibly intelligent but still tries their best or makes up for it in other ways, i.e Lizzy, Finny, Soma, would annoy him but wouldn’t necessarily turn him off

•However ignorance or someone who was stupid and lacked any other redeemable qualities would turn him off completely

•He hates people who are unaware of themselves or reality

Sebastian: Turn Ons (Sfw): • Similar to Ciel, he likes a challenge

•Sebastian enjoys being put to the test and unlike Ciel, he doesnt care about winning so much as he cares about the actual game

•Of course, all in all, he still hates losing a battle be it physical skill set or witty ribbing, however he does enjoy losing every once in a blue moon, it keeps him guessing

•I’d say feistiness is another big turn on for him

•He loves sass but only in the correct scenarios, i.e. only if youre acting as his superior or his equal

•To add to that, if youre acting as his inferior he admires someone who respects him and does as he orders but at the same time isnt a kiss ass

•Thats not to say he doesnt like it when people are in awe of him either

•Sebastian loves praise and human acceptance, it reminds him of how powerful he is and fuels his already enormous ego

•Another huge one is passion

•I cant remember where but i believe at some point in the manga Sebastian mentions that the brand of passion unique to humans is something that is very intriguing to him

•Mystery is a huge turn on too, as he is well over 600 years old there is little he hasnt seen, so a tad of mystery is refreshing and a bit exciting to him

Turn Offs: (Sfw) •To counter my previous point in Turn On’s, though Sebastian enjoys adoration, he doesn’t necessarily respect those that find him incredibly amazing

•In a way he actually finds excessive adoration rather repulsive, i.e. the case of Grell, be it a reaper, demon or human

• Unlike Ciel, Sebastian cant stand stupidity whatsoever, regardless of whether or not the person has other redeemable qualities

•Sebastian dislikes complaining or people who pity themselves, he finds it pathetic and it reminds him of how detestable the majority of humans are

•Though he doesnt find this particular traits deplorable, Sebastian finds people who play the rules rather boring

•However Sebastian hates being bored so he finds that he absolutely cannot stand predictability and sticklers for rules

•On the other hand Sebastian isnt fond of people who break so many rules they render themselves entirely obsence or inappropriate in every single thing they do

•I will say though, Sebastian only really detests obscenity amongst humans when he is acting as a butler, as it wouldnt fit his aesthetic to condone this behavior •Demon Sebastian, on the other hand, deplores rule following, as previously stated

•His true self rather enjoys obscenity

Older!Ciel (18)

Turn Ons: (Nsfw) •Dominance is a huge turn on, regardless of whether or not he tops

•He loves being in control and bossing his partner around

•He likes bondage but only when its him tying up his partner and not the other way around

•His biggest turn on is emotional connection to his partner

•When they say they want only him  and that no one is better than he is

Turn offs: (Nsfw) • Anything that involved a third party

•This includes anywhere public, even a different room in his house or anytime during the day, he isnt a fan of scandal it just annoys him

•When his partner tries to force him into something or when they try to take control

•He might go along with it but it is a major turn off

•His partner choking, smacking, or tying him up

•Actually choking in general is a major turn off, as well as any type of hitting except the occasional spanking

•Being out of control turns him off immediately

Sebastian

Turn Ons: (Nsfw) • Inflicting pain.

•Physical, Psycological, he loves it

•Choking is a big turn on in particular, along with hair pulling

•Blood play tbh

•He loves his partners blood, whether it be drinking it or even just seeing it flow

•B o n d a g e

•He loves tying his partner up especially in strange and compromising positions

•He loves seeing them contorted into a painful pose just for him

•In particular he is a fan of the hands bound together and then bound to the ankles

Turn Off’s: (Nsfw) •Honestly not much

•Emotion, i.e anything resembling gushy lovey shit is almost always a turn off

•Even at his most compassionate and romantic, Sebastian is not one for syrupy romance

•Also humiliation •Immediately he is no longer into it

•Sebastian has a rather large ego and he hates anyone taking a stab at it in genral

•But he especially hates this in the bedroom since “seducing victims” is something all demons must excell at

[dilfhakyeon-moved]

I wrote about death and Love

Just trying something out, not anything fandom-related ( or you can imagine it so if you want, but... that’s gonna be hard maybe lmao my mind went to at least three different fandoms while writing it and only one would maybe be fitting, but there’d be no characters for it except one )

Maybe I caught some of that Halloween spirit yeet yeet !

It’s set in a sort of fantasy setting if it can help understand why it can seem so,, heartless. and like. “we won’t do anything to help u”. it’s bc they Can’t bc they Don’t Know what to Do

there’s also a lot of confusion. that’s normal. i write like i’m writing a script for a film so don’t worry abt it if u don’t understand shit it’s bc i visualise everything and then i write it down without thinking about how shitty it will look hsfjdkhd

TW: death, sort of graphic description of stuff that’s kinda not cool ?, also stuff about someone who kinda goes so obsessed she can’t recognise reality I don’t know really but it’s macabre and depressing idk why I wrote that maybe it’s vent but idk why I’d write that to vent !! just. hm

Frozen. Here she lied ; was this truly her peace ? It couldn’t be. If herself wasn’t in peace, how could this bruised, cold skin and these pale, glassy eyes reflect any ? Glassy, they were. She was afraid of looking too long into them, might she see her own reflection in these gruesome mirrors. They were the mirrors of someone’s soul, once.

Tears fell next to them. She stood. A few seconds of reflection before a foggy breath left her, and she was kneeling back down.

Her frail hands were shaking as she took her cloak off, a deaf sob barely reaching her own ears as she carefully placed it on the other figure, covering shoulders and chest. She wished she could see her chest heave just another time.Not another time. More. She wished to see her blink, her eyes giving her stern but affectionate glare again ; she yearned to watch her as she took the cloak off and sat up, offering her a reassuring smile, and she stood, trying to rearrange her messy clothes ; she needed to see her move, as her skirt twirled around and her rare, but bright laughter seemed to echo comfortingly. Hearing her again. Feeling her breath and her gaze, and her words shooting through her mind in the worst ways, her fingers grazing her skin and sending a shiver down her spine. She wasn’t alone, she was fine.

Except she wasn’t. And she was alone, in her little world of fiction she was creating for herself - but in reality, there was no way she could be alone in such a place. However, the world around her had stopped existing, and soon, perhaps she would too. Only perhaps. Nothing in her seemed to show an ounce of concern over that, she hadn’t realised it yet. She wouldn’t realise it. Her mind was making her stare at saliva dripping from the mouth. A detail, but it hadn’t moved in hours at least. It was stuck, like stuck in time. But it wasn’t time, it was the cold. Time never truly stopped, only in people’s imagination.

Her fingers held a tighter grip over the cloak’s fabric, but one of them soon moved to rest on the body’s cold cheek. Colder than her own skin ; her body wanted to gasp, but didn’t have the strength to do so. Frozen.

“... out of here.”

The world still existed.

“Quick, get her out of here ! I won’t repeat myself a third time,” a harsh voice rang out, strong enough to wake her up. “If you leave her to die, I’ll make sure you meet the fate you deserve.”

She didn’t try to stand. She knew they were talking about her. They were always so careful, weren’t they... So caring. Her dark eyes narrowed. She slowly let herself rest on top of that body she cherished so much, closing her eyes - she felt herself go. Hands grabbed her shoulders and forcefully dragged her, she wasn’t nearly conscious enough to feel it. Her betrothed, dancing in a field, the war was over ; they laughed together. What war ? What was war ? Foreign... She laughed. The soldiers were distraught, but kept leading her away. Failing their mission meant death, especially with the war happening all around them. But she was so happy, in her field, with her loved one who’d never truly returned it, but love was blind, and love wasn’t perfect, and it wasn’t as happy and beautiful as her grandmother’s tales had told her in such sweet lies. And she’d lied to herself. Love was beautiful.

They thought otherwise. Love was cold, and unforgiving. Love was made of stone, and breaking a person’s mind aroused Him in terrible, depraved ways. They’d been a victim of Him, just like the person they loved ; she’d succumbed, they stood their ground. They had to. They had to face Love, this merciless demon who couldn’t get enough of shattering every remaining piece of humanity in them. They endured the pain. Someone had to beat Love.

Up. Awake. Her eyes opened. The same ceiling made of stones... She was home. What relief. Minutes passed, then she moved. Stood from her bed, despite her leg giving in. She was standing ; she believed she was standing. She walked ; her body was crawling, but she was walking. Her entire left leg had lost its function to frostbite, but she believed she could walk. Looked around as she walked through different rooms, her smile constantly growing. She was home ! She only needed to find the one. 

An endless maze. She never realised it. Everyone else did.

They watched. Everytime she came back to the room they were in, their gaze lowered. After a few hours, they had closed their eyes ; a friend came to check in, asked if all was okay, and was rejected. And once they were alone again, tears fell. Tears fell next to her as she came back, and left them in what they were forced to call “being alone”.

Could they refuse calling it “being alone”, if the only person there was unable to even notice your simple existence ? They were alone.

It stopped after three days.

She was stuck on the floor, laughing hysterically yet so painfully. She hadn’t stood a single time, but this time she was unable to move. All she could do was laugh, and call for her love. She was hungry, she was thirsty, they thought. They’d grown almost indifferent to this miserable, almost pathetic sight. 

[ From the beginning, they’d known it would be yet another dramatic unrequited love story ; they’d sworn they wouldn’t pay too much mind to it. They wouldn’t trap themselves in attachment. Things had turned out in Love’s favour. They’d hated it. They hated Him. They’d hated how He made them feel, as what once had held a soul yearning for justice and truth became a well of insanity and suffering. Her smile had grown so much she didn’t resemble herself anymore.

“A crawlin’ monster on the carpet,” Love’d whispered in His husky, sultry voice, then snickered. “That’s what you’re thinkin’, boy. How could she end up like that ? You could’ve prevented it, nice guy.”

They’d clenched their jaw ; hadn’t responded. She wasn’t a monster ; she was long gone. And they’d never been a boy, nice guy. Love’d never listened, Love loved putting them through this. ]

But it wasn’t working on them anymore. Indifference, as aforementioned - things were easier to handle when their heart wasn’t being put into it. And somehow, Love had stopped tormenting them. All they felt anymore, was pity. There was nothing to be done ; they stayed there by habit. The walls around them didn’t change. The chair they were sitting on was still the same, and the people who bothered bring them some water and food occasionally were always the same.

Their eyes got lost after a few more hours ; as they stopped focusing and eventually fell asleep, she fell into a sleep deeper they’d ever known. Her last words weren’t words, a cry for help. A language they didn’t speak. They heard it in their dream. And as they woke up in the middle of the night, a last gift from Love awaited them : that macabre view. Her eyes still open, her mouth forever shaped into that terrifying grin she’d worn last, and the saliva dripping from her chin.

They stood. Walked closer. Love hadn’t left, just hidden. Maybe Love had won. Maybe they didn’t care anymore. The world seemed to stop existing, as they kneeled next to the body. She was cold, wasn’t she ? They could feel the cold ; their hands were shaking. She must’ve been cold as well. They took their coat off, draped it over her. The door opened, a voice spoke. They heard a scream, but did they really hear it ?

Or, were they stuck in their world where they were alone with their loved one both laughing and dancing in a field, when in reality they were alone without her - and their only company was the fight occurring, as the fortress was being invaded ?

It was likely they were unaware of reality.

Frozen.

Tag list: - @graceful-popcorn - idk who else would wanna be tagged in that tbh dhgkjdg

[queer-lemons]

I’ve known my best friend (well one of like two) my whole life.  He’s insanely talented, and one of the few cishet white men I can stand.  He’s sweet and kinda spicy (i know i just described a yummy sandwich).

His family is so, so sweet and loving and- well, a family.  I daydream about them a lot tbh.  In sixth or seventh grade he was making these origami swans whose wings flap when you pull the tail.  I asked him for one and he gave it to me.

Fast forward 4 years, and I still have it.  I put it under my pillow at nights whenever I’m lonely.  He has no idea, I’ve never told him I still have it.  But it makes me so happy.

To be completely honest, I collect things from their house.  I now have two white elephant gifts that came from their family, besides the origami swan.  I have a shirt with the signature of all the kids on it from a school play that I wear whenever I need a confidence boost.  I have a little Christmas card their mom gave me when she was my teacher in some class one year.  About a year ago he sent me and some other friends a demo song he made, and I have it saved.  I listen to it whenever I’m lonely or nervous.

I don’t think it’s creepy or stalker-y.  Maybe kind of pathetic, but it makes me so happy to have these little pieces of a family.  I guess if they ever knew they’d either be weirded out or pity me.  I don’t know which I’d prefer.  But as long as I don’t have a family of my own, I’m glad I have them.

And I have memories with them.  I’ve danced twice with my friend in plays, we hung out for like twelve hours at a campout, my friend and I got stranded with our youth group on the side of the road once, and we were walking quietly on the curb.  We make faces at each other whenever we’re both laughing at someone or something.  I pushed him into a water fountain by accident once, and I know all his family, and all their family stories from years of growing up together.

I don’t think he or his family recalls any of these memories.  They’re my happy place, that’s why I keep them close to the surface.  Their memories with me in them are just distant little specs, but for me they mean so much.  Anyway.  Idk. I’m going to find the origami swan, put it under my pillow, and go to bed.  I’m kind of tired.

[eurazia]

I still cannot really hate Alessand tbh. The guy has too many dumb somewhat awkward pathetic faces that make me kind of like him. But boyyy did he fuck up. Being the cause for a war to break out gotta be a great feeling. I'm curious how he's going to handle this? Will he go fully mental after that breakdown or will he be able to turn things around in the end? Will he learn to make sacrifices? That one needs to work hard? Will he stand up for his sins? I really want to know :)

More than hating him, I’m truly, truly truly disappointed in him.He didn’t thought through his plan. He didn’t even have a plan ffs, he just acted because “he thought it was needed for him to be accepted to the Onyx task”Mh, sure man, and what happened when Racoon showed him what the stone does to their bodies? “I didn’t know I would have risked my life”, he said.Well, it’s a little too late to say that, that’s what a soldier needs to accept when they take the oath, you know? You may not be in the same hardship the Onyx are, but even the Orleans are ready to face the worst case scenario just saying here, kiddoAt the end of the day, Assland is a spoiled noble brat. That’s it. And I’m somehow glad he at least is having regrets + a shaking hand. (The face Kaisar had while realizing what Assland did… He trusted him goddammit, I know he’s too much naive, but duuuuude, you broke him inside! I’m bitter because that sweet eyelashes man didn’t deserve other people turning their back on him!)Anyway, I’m completely lost thinking about what would happen to Assland, I have like 0 ideas right now. He’s mentally breaking down as the hours are passing by, and that’s good, because his rational side is making him realize he made a mistake, a huge one. But would he be able to redeem himself? In which way? I really don’t know.I’m kinda sorry they chose his character to be the one to kill El tbh, he was fine as the scaredy-cat young soldier who’s too lazy to act like a proper soldier.I mean, he could have been annoying, but still bearable; now he’s put himself in such a huge mess, it’d be difficult for him to get out of that… And I doubt he’ll have the strength to actually do so, so yeah, sometimes I pity him.The only thing I can add is that I believe his immature attitude is what made him at fault. He just needed more experience and maybe he wouldn’t have done what he did.

[luffysfakebeard]

I am living for your Isak w Aspergers head canons do you think you could do some more?

the first post

this headcanon means so much to me so of course I’ll be continuing it ♥ (this got fucking long oh my god)

one night during exam season they were going to bed and Even saw that Isak’s thigh was all mottled red and bruising and it took him a few days to realise that it was from Isak stimming and hitting his hand repeatedly against his leg while he worked

after that if he saw Isak stimming he’d weave his fingers through Isak’s and pull his hand up and gently dot kisses over Isak’s shaky fingers

when he was younger (read: when he was first coping with being labelled autistic) he tried going to a support group for people with autism because he was kinda struggling with it and while Jonas was so so good about it he didn’t really get it

Isak went to one meeting and never went back because it was too much it made it too real he didn’t want to need a support group like some drug addict just because his brain worked a little differently

(it didn’t help that he felt so different from everyone there, despite the fact they were all there for the same reason)

the first time Even’s parents cook for him they put raw tomato in the salad and Isak’s heart sinks because raw tomato is his ultimate Nope™ texture

he tried so so hard though because he didn’t want to mess up the first dinner with his boyfriend’s parents so he talked the talk and dazzled Even’s parents but when he tried to eat one of those tiny lil baby tomatoes he just couldn’t

when he bit into it his whole body shuddered and he was 90% sure he was going to vomit everywhere and he was spitting it back out before he could consciously think about it

he quickly excused himself to the bathroom and sat against the door and tried not to cry because he was sure he’d just ruined their impression of him and they were going to think he was so rude and everything was ruined and- 

and Even of course came in and wiped the few tears that had squeezed their way out from Isak’s cheeks and reassured Isak that his parents didn’t mind they just felt kinda bad that they didn’t know he hated tomatoes

all subsequent dinners together involved tomato-free salads

sometimes Isak gets bouts of hyposenstivity (nowhere near as often as he gets hypersensitive, but they happen) and his responses are about five seconds slower than usual

sometimes it’s funny, like when Magnus will try to throw shade at him and then a few seconds later Isak drags Magnus even though someone else is talking

sometimes it’s less funny, like the time he was washing his hands and the plumbing fucked up and hot water poured out and Isak didn’t even feel it and finished washing his hands. Even had to put burn cream on his hands and Isak had to talk him out of calling their landlord in a rage about the state of their plumbing

Isak almost never has meltdowns, but when he does they take it right out of him and they’re usually triggered by something that anyone else would deem menial

there was an unfortunate incident when Even was having a manic episode and he reorganised everything in their flat in a way that totally made sense to him at 2.30 in the morning. everything including Isak’s school notes which were meticulously ordered

there was shouting, a lot of struggling to breathe, and the crushing certainty that he was going to fuck up his classes because his notes were a mess

when the episode was over Even apologised for messing with Isak’s system and Isak apologised for losing his shit when he knew Even couldn’t always help it

when Isak was little he was always the child who watched other children rather than engage in the play himself

his parents were always trying to push him to play with the other kids, but Isak was much happier observing them

fun fact: Montessori (one of the most renowned people when it comes to theory about children’s play and learning) noted that some children preferred to observe first before they attempted things themselves, and that adults should not try to force those children to engage before they are ready because children know when they’re ready and will move forwards with their play/learning when they’re ready

Isak wishes more people knew about that because he always felt like grown ups were pushing him to do things before he was ready

Magnus once found out that there was a girl in their class who was also on the spectrum and told Isak and Isak was just like and????? because he wasn’t going to befriend someone just because they were autistic too it didn’t work like that there isn’t a secret handshake or something Mags just drop it

occasionally people will try to use his autism as a weapon. in his maths classes he used to sit in front of a kid who always sneered that Isak was like a shittier version of Rain Man (Mahdi may have sold that guy some high quality shit at a high quality price that was actually just oregano)

Isak hates hates hates when the school chooses an autism charity for events because yeah it’s a great cause but whenever he sees signs encouraging people to ‘raise money for autism’ he feels like such a fucking charity case some pathetic loser who should be pitied because his brain is different

he will also use those times to get the boys do things for him out of spite because he really hates those posters (”you can help people with autism right now by shutting up, Magnus” “you raised money for autism? cool, can I borrow a tenner for some dinner?”)

whenever he hears or sees the words “cure autism” a part of him dies because he hates how misinformed people are but there’s also a part of him that wishes so badly sometimes that he could cure it

most of the time he just doesn’t give a shit tbh it’s just part of his life it’s not like he’s at the other end of the spectrum and he’ll need a carer his whole life he considers himself pretty lucky honestly

he’s never really been good at relating to people emotionally. he doesn’t really get emotional like everyone else seems to so he has no idea how to process it when people start crying on his shoulder. with Even’s help he’s getting better at it though.

as time goes on, Isak gets more and more comfortable with his identity as an autistic gay teen and will be vocal about his limitations in both

”I’m gay, Mahdi, I don’t know if she’d like that position????????”

“I’m having a bad day, please don’t talk to me just let me sit here on the edge without talking or looking at anyone okay”

sometimes Even will draw a jigsaw puzzle piece on his own wrist and then draw the piece that would fit next to it on Isak’s same wrist because they’re both a little bit dysfunctional but together they always make it work (also because a puzzle piece is the logo for autism, as Isak points out, but mostly the cute romantic reason Even insists)