#hes ONE kid and he���s so fucking messy there’s so much stuff and ITS CONSTANT and he’s just so exhaustingggggg like i can’t do anything when

[the-slasher-files]

ANDREI - PLAYTHINGS

Yandere Alphabet - Now, Andrei is a slasher that loves to hold his ‘playthings’ and have fun with them but they are different from his actual partners if he has one so keep that in mind. He has two sides to him; The man who is Andrei and then there is The Wolf... Hope you enjoy 🔪💕  

MASTERLIST

affection: how do they show their love and affection? how intense would it get?

With his playthings affection levels are heightened, almost to the level of his s/o but never that far. Andrei needs to lure his victims into a false sense of security, he wants them to think that he will take care of you after this is all done, but there is no end.

Andrei whispers sweet Russian in your ear, wrap you up in his clothes, gently kiss you, stroke your hair and rest his forehead against yours, however that is only after sex.    

If you last longer than 24 hours you might get to go to his house, a right, a privilege. You won’t get much affection other than being on his lap, him stroking your cheek or getting kisses to the neck.  

blood: how messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Andrei is a messy, messy boy in all forms and doesn’t care. Blood, spit, cum and tears, he loves it all. In terms of getting messy for a plaything Andrei has the motto “What is mine is mine and only mine.” Now, usually a plaything doesn’t last more than a week and you are stuck in the abandoned town but if someone somehow gets to what is his, he will maim, torture, or instantly kill depending on the mood. 

cruelty: how would they treat their darling once abducted? would they mock them?

Once he has you Andrei is a cold and cruel man, you have to learn that he is in charge and the only one that will ever be in charge, if you aren’t understanding that or do something he doesn’t like he doesn’t give warnings with playthings, it is instant pain or punishments. This can include cutting you or stabbing if he gets annoyed, handcuffing you with barely any clothes on and leaving you in the apartment basements to almost get hypothermia, choking you until you pass out and kicking you while you are down, but the strange thing about Andrei is that he will degrade you for a very long time but he will never hamulate you, it is a fine line but that is the one thing he will not do. Long story short is quick to snap and you are constantly on edge but he has rare soft moments which put you at ease on until you make the wrong move.

darling: aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Yes and no. With Andrei he mixes harsh and soft like an art to always leaving you wanting more but when its happening you are begging him to stop. The sex is pretty much constant, he will force you to play in his hunt with you as the prey of course, if you make it far enough he wants his house cleaned and his meals made but honestly, other than that, you have quite a bit of freedom to do as you please, but that just depends on how long you last, not many make it more than a week. 

exposed: how much of their heart do they bare to their darling? how vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

As I said before he mixes soft and harsh perfectly, he almost wants you to feel a little bad for him so in a way he feels as if his actions are justified. If he plans on having you just for 24 hours you get no softness except after sex, but if you somehow manage to stay longer with him he will open up his backstory to you just a small bit, like how he was pretty much raised to be a killing machine or share some of the things he has been forced to do but you will never get to hear about his sister or parents, that one is a touchy subject and even his s/o doesn’t know about that stuff for a long time.

fight: how would they feel if their darling fought back?

Loves it! Andrei adores a challenge and a good fight in a plaything. He doesn’t want just some weak and obedient little thing, where is the fun in that? However before he picks you up Andrei does little tests before he takes you home, he will talk with you and ask you questions about yourself to gather more intel, but he also relies of great instincts and can usually tell who is a fighter and who is not. 

Go ahead and spit on him, hit him, run away and say terrible things about him, Andrei has heard it all before and it doesn’t phase him. A strong person is to be desired to Andrei and he finds it to be a turn on. 

game: is this a game to them? how much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

It is absolutely a game and you are his prey. Andrei has designed the whole abandoned town to be a maze of traps and confusing layouts just so he can have fun and watch the person panic. He loves fear and what it does to a person. Like a wolf, the hunt is an instinct he cannot live without so be a good little lamb and run for him. 

hell: what would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Getting murdered by him, I guess, or maybe that is the best scenario so you are free from the pain, Andrei has no issue killing his plaything, as long as he was grateful for his hunt that is all that matters. Not being killed and doing something he doesn’t like or getting something wrong is another bad one because you won’t know what is you did wrong, you will just suddenly have a knife in your thigh and he will not tell you what happened, just be better, ok? 

ideals: what kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Andrei doesn’t plan futures with his playthings. He doesn’t want a partner with these people and most certainly does not want kids so you are there just for his entertainment and needs, also he just wants a clean house and good meals for like week before you die.

jealousy: do they get jealous? do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Of course Andrei gets jealous, it is just who he is. Now, most likely when you are his plaything you will never, ever leave his little town and go somewhere with other people but if there is the rare moment he does take you somewhere populated you are right beside him at all times, at least one arm on you and his ice blue eyes glaring at anyone that dare breathes in your direction. 

If somehow, some way a person touches you or flirts with you, god cannot help that person from the wolf’s wrath. Most likely that person will not be breathing for longer than 24 hours.   

kisses: how do they act around or with their darling?

This completely switches through the day. Like I said before, Andrei is a master of mixing sweet and rough. One minute he could be stroking your hair and the next he could be choking you against a wall, it all depends of what he wants and if he feels like he needs to praise you and show you security or if you need to learn a lesson and have some rough sex. 

love letters: how would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Andrei is an attractive man and he knows it and uses it to his advantage. For a plaything a lot of the time he picks you up at a bar, often times it is in a town or city a few hours away from his home so Andrei doesn’t draw attention to himself and it’s easier for people to go missing in larger cities. 

Andrei will notice you either as soon as he walks in or you walk in, this man has incredible instincts and uses them. He will pick a far away table and just watch you for hours if he could, enjoying his vodka and cigarettes in peace, taking every note of your body and feeling out if you will be his perfect little plaything for the for the week. Once Andrei has fully decided he will saunter up to you and lean on the bar beside you, one look and he can hook most women, then once he speaks Andrei will make you weak in the knees. 

As for courting, there is no courting, you are being fucked, knocked out, taken back to his home and staying their forever, end of story.     

mask: are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Andrei doesn’t really interact with others because he is supposed to never show his face around most of Russia, also in the army, loyalty is all you have and when he betrayed that there was no going back, people wanted to murder him and still do. Andrei has a few connections here and there but he acts cold, harsh, truth be told, he hates other people and just wants to be alone, so there is really not a big divide in his personality. He is just a cold man through and through.

naughty: how would they punish their darling?

Number one punishment is rough sex and I mean rough. Knives, blood, spanking, choking, bondage with cold metal chains and cuffs, edging you for his own satisfaction then overstimulating you because that’s just Andrei. 

Another is leaving you in little to no clothes chained up in the abandoned apartment basement and leaving you with the fear of dying from the harsh Siberian cold, it is a mind game for him and you need to beg him and plead for him to save you. When he does come back for you, like he always will, usually, Andrei will wrap you in his clothes and whisper sweet nothings to you and saying he will never hurt you and taking you home for a hot bath.... but the bastard will do it again.

Andrei will also make threats to you and wave his blade in front of you if you are getting too cocky with him, this is a warning and there is only one.

oppression: how many rights would they take away from their darling?

All of your rights are pretty much gone as a plaything. The only way you gain some rights back is if somehow you manage to captivate him and survive longer than a week. If you do, you are free do to as you please just make sure the house is clean, he has a meal at the table and his tea is always hot. You cannot contact anyone (obviously), can’t leave the home without him, mostly for your own safety he says, Andrei has traps everywhere and doesn’t want you hurt. However, you are free to your own time and you might be able to ask him for books or art supplies or certain cooking ingredients to keep yourself busy through the day, Andrei likes someone with their own hobbies and admissions... even though he controls you. Double edged sword with him constantly.   

patience: how patient are they with their darling?

If you are a plaything, little to none. He is quick tempered and hot bloodied. You might get stabbed for making him repeat himself or be choked for talking back, there is maybe one warning but that is it.

quit: if their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

Oh yeah, easily. However, if you somehow escape you might only be alive for a few days, Andrei is a professional mercenary skilled in tracking, so goodluck with that. Also he kills his playthings all the time, most don't last longer than 3 days. 

regret: would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? would they ever let their darling go?

Andrei will never ever let someone go but he does feel huge amounts of guilt once his plaything is dead, more so if it is a small woman, it brings him back to when he killed his mom and fought with his sister. Honestly Andrei doesn’t love to kill and loves the hunt but at the same time it is the one thing major thing he hates about himself and will never get over. He loses himself in the desire and sick pleasure and when it is over and comes down from the ‘feral’ state he almost goes into a depression and self medicates with vodka or even pain medication to make him sleep. 

stigma: what brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

CHILDHOOD! His father Dimitri was an abusive man but no where near what Andrei went through under the care of his uncle when they moved in with him at around age 5. Viktor, his uncle, was massively paranoid and abusive, taking out most of his abuse on Andrei and his mother Eva. 

He began the abuse immediately making Andrei almost like a super solider and teaching him everything about killing and praising his dangerous thoughts and urges, teaching him it was ok, using Andrei’s pain as weapon and the rage within the young boy he made Andrei kill his own mother. Once his mother was out of the way Viktor could do as he pleased with the kids, making them fight each other, and raising them like soldiers. (TW: SA, RAPE) One thing Viktor used to do with Andrei was find prostitutes or wanderers and make him rape or sexually assault people as he killed them, starting as young as 12, twisting his desires for sex into killing and vice versa. 

It was so far implanted in his brain that even when Viktor killed himself when Andrei was 16 he continued to this and began to really hone his skills with killing and introduced ‘the hunt’. Also being in the army just made him better and gave him a reason to kill.

tears: how do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

He honestly loves it. It is a primal urge to hear you scream and thrash, he just wants to hear all your pretty noises. As for tears that one can be 50/50 if you are a woman, if you’re a man he literally will not care. Most times he will wipe your tears and coo “You look so pretty when you cry.” but if you are a woman and crying after the rough sex and crouched in a corner, this is when soft Andrei comes out, especially if you are small, it will remind him of his sister and it hurts his heart. What Andrei will do then is sit in front of you, give you time and he will coo soft words at you until you reach for him and he will carry you to bed. As i said, the master of soft and hard.    

unique: would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Nope, not really. He is the poster boy for yandere’s

vice: what weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

So you will never escape but you can definitely live longer if you are a small woman that has a fiery personality. Go ahead and fight him and put him in his place, he loves it. For Andrei he needs a perfect mix of obedience and independence in a perfect plaything. Also if you show genuine interest in his life beyond the wolf façade and bonus if you can cook. 

wit’s end: would they ever hurt their darling?

If you have read this far you should know the answer.

xoanon: how much would they revere or worship their darling? to what length would they go to win their darling over?

Andrei will not worship you in anyway, he does care for you but this man will never worship anyone unless you are his soulmate, but we are talking about his plaything here, you are probably gonna die. 

For Andrei to try and win someone over is like spotting a unicorn, it is not gonna happen. If he is trying to pick you up at like a bar or something he has a weird thing where he will not push himself on a woman if she doesn’t want him, it’s rare but has happened to him. Andrei has interesting feelings toward women, he respects the hell out of them which can seem hypocritical to keeping them as his toys but that’s why he feels so much guilt after. Also if he sees a woman that is being bugged by another man he jump in and tell him to fuck off, he is halfway to being a nice guy.   

yearn: how long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

A day... maybe, if that.

zenith: would they ever break their darling?

Yup. It’s all mental control, he needs you to be his and only his. 

[theycallmegothboy]

1-100 >:DDDD REVENGE!!!

FELIXXXXXXXXXXXX >:(( 1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?  -spotify  2. is your room messy or clean? -it’s pretty messy i guess  3. what color are your eyes? -blue and grey

4. do you like your name? why? -yeah it’s fine 5. what is your relationship status? -single 6. describe your personality in 3 words or less -certified intrusive thot 7. what color hair do you have? -brown and rn it’s red 8. what kind of car do you drive? color? -i dont have a car 9. where do you shop? -hot topic, goodwill, target 10. how would you describe your style? -comfy emo 11. favorite social media account -of mine, probably discord or youtube 12. what size bed do you have? -twin >:(( 13. any siblings? -i have 1.5 brothers  14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? -probably vancouver, idk canada seems lit 15. favorite snapchat filter? -i like the one with devil horns and a tail but its cute 16. favorite makeup brand(s) -i dont wear makeup 17. how many times a week do you shower? -i used to shower every day, but i dont do anything that gets me dirty so like maybe 3 times but if i leave the house then i shower 18. favorite tv show? -stranger things 19. shoe size?  -8 or 9 20. how tall are you? -5′6 with shoes >:(( 21. sandals or sneakers? -sneakers wtf 22. do you go to the gym? -lol no 23. describe your dream date -making some pie or something together and then eating the pie and then sitting on some rooftop looking at stars 24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? -quite a bit actually but i’m saving up for a phone lol so soon it will be like maybe 10 dollars lmao 25. what color socks are you wearing? -not wearing socks but the ones i had earlier were white (ankle length) 26. how many pillows do you sleep with? -just one but it sucks 27. do you have a job? what do you do? -NO BUT IM TRYING TO GET A JOB BUT THE FUCKIN PEOPLE THERE ARE GHOSTING ME AND WONT REPLY TO MY EMAILS SO LIKE SBJHBJS 28. how many friends do you have? -like 4 lmao 29. whats the worst thing you have ever done? -idk nothing super bad but i do a lot of small shit that makes me feel guilty when i realize what i did 30. whats your favorite candle scent? -juniper rosewood 31. 3 favorite boy names -leo, clay, charlie 32. 3 favorite girl names -ivy, uh... idk thats all ive got 33. favorite actor? -no clue 34. favorite actress? -no clue 35. who is your celebrity crush? -not a celeb but i’d smash danny phantom 36. favorite movie? -nightmare before christmas or edward scissorhands 37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? -no, but my fav book is probably the prince and the pauper? idk 38. money or brains? -CASH MONEYYYY jk probably brains but if your entire personality is being “smart” like fuck off lmao   39. do you have a nickname? what is it? - a bunch of people call me son (see #49, #100), some call me rat, dumdum, goth boy

40.how many times have you been to the hospital? -just once i think when i was birthed. i also went once with my brother cause he kicked some scissors i left out on the floor and it sliced his toe the fuck open and he needed stitches and i watched him get the stitches and almost passed out :/ 41. top 10 favorite songs -please dont make me do this i dont have it in me 42. do you take any medications daily? -yea i take 20mg of vyvanse but i need to get it raised to 30 cause 20 is Not Enough 43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) -i got some dry fuckin skin yall dont even know 44. what is your biggest fear?  -it depends. the dark is a pretty constant one though 45. how many kids do you want? -like 2 or 3 eventually 46. whats your go to hair style? -in my face, looking stupid 47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)  -it’s pretty small 48. who is your role model? -i dont fuckin know lmao  49. what was the last compliment you received? - “i belive in you, my son, you’re an amazing human being“ (same friend mentioned in #100, not actually a parent of mine) 50. what was the last text you sent? -”no it’s a raccoon“ YOU GET NO CONTEXT LMAO 51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? -i dont think i ever hardcore believed in him, maybe i did though i remember sleeping under the tree one christmas eve waiting for him but i was like “oh yeah that makes sense“ i guess 52. what is your dream car?  -i honestly dont give a shit as long as it actually fucking works 53. opinion on smoking? -cigarettes? fuck no that’s nastyyy. weed? that’s fine i guess but wait till you’re like 18.  54. do you go to college? -no. am sophomore n highschool 55. what is your dream job?  -musician/palentologist 56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?  -fuck the suburbs lmao, but also im tired of rural, so like.. semi urban?? 57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?  -no but i take the little soaps >:)) 58. do you have freckles?  -yes 59. do you smile for pictures? -awkwardly, yes 60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?  -dont have a phone but i have like 12 on my computer currently. 4 are of me, the rest are of my cat or random shit 61. have you ever peed in the woods?  -yes 62. do you still watch cartoons?  -cartoons these days kinda suck but like if they were good fuck yeah i would like gravity falls can come hang yknow? 63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? -i had nuggets from mcdonalds today so i guess them? i dont really care 64. Favorite dipping sauce?  -i got sweet and sour but i dont like it that much. that schezuan sauce was great 65. what do you wear to bed?  -wouldnt you like to know? ;))  66. have you ever won a spelling bee?  -NO ive only been in two. the first one i misspelled the word “turmoil“ cause i had never heard it before and the second one i spelled the word “owed“ as “ode“ cause i was thinking like ode to joy and then i felt like a big Fool afterwards :(( 67. what are your hobbies? -lol what hobbies 68. can you draw?  -i am physically able to draw, but not well, no 69 (haha). do you play an instrument? -yeah i play a few 70. what was the last concert you saw?  -i saw Chicago in either georgia or tennessee i cant remember in like 2016 71. tea or coffee? -hot coffee, iced tea. NOT the other way around. (i love both though) 72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? -starbucks 73. do you want to get married? -sure why not 74. what is your crush’s first and last initial? -dont have a crush 75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?  -idk maybe 76. what color looks best on you?  -i dont know but i wear black a lot and that’s pretty dope 77. do you miss anyone right now? -yeah  78. do you sleep with your door open or closed? -closed 79. do you believe in ghosts? -on the fence. not 100% “oh my god look at these gHoSt oRbS i need to sage my house!!!“ but i accept that there’s some things i wont understand about the world and that i have no answers to. i wouldnt be surprised if there are, and i wouldnt be surprised if there aren’t. 80. what is your biggest pet peeve? -whatever my adhd decides i viscerally hate with a firey passion right at that moment  81. last person you called -my brother (the 1 of the 1.5 from #13 and the one who sliced his toe in #40) 82. favorite ice cream flavor?  -chocolate is dope 83. regular oreos or golden oreos?  -regular double stuff. if you say golden, mint, peppermint, or thin oreos i’m gonna have to euthanize you, i dont make the rules.  84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? -rainbow cause it’s prettier  85. what shirt are you wearing?  -queen shirt from hot topic 86. what is your phone background? -i didnt get a phone between question 60 and now but my computer one is some mountains with the moon in the background 87. are you outgoing or shy? -really depends on who i’m around 88. do you like it when people play with your hair? -YES FUCK AAAAAAA (this girl played with my hair literally once in middle school and i was like oh shit and i had a crush on her until the end of middle school true story,,, so ashley if you’re out there-) 89. do you like your neighbors? -to the left they’re fine and their dog is nice but idk what happened to the horses so that’s sus but that’s where our cat came from so they can hang  guess, behind me they’re fine but their boys are loud, to the right they’re fine, and even further to the right are the dope neighbors and waaaaaaaaaay far to the right is a llama and he’s dope as hell 90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? -whenever the fuck i remember to/have the energy 91. have you ever been high?  -i dont think so but i wouldnt put it past myself 92. have you ever been drunk?  -not that i can remember, no 93. last thing you ate?  -sloppy joe from a can 94. favorite lyrics right now -”not gonna waste my life, cause i’ve been fucked up“ 95. summer or winter?  -fall. fuck you 96. day or night?  -night but i like it when it’s actually night and it doesnt get dark at like 4 fucking pm cause that makes me depressed 97. dark, milk, or white chocolate? -dark is good, milk is fine, white is only suitable for fancy stripes on chocolate covered strawberries 98. favorite month?  -i vibe with september 99. what is your zodiac sign -sagittarius (was almost a scorpio but i was holding out >:))) 100. who was the last person you cried in front of?  -in person, my mom like 6 months ago, on a discord call, my friend (i love you by the way, you’re the best,,, i dont think he has tumblr but im just putting it out there) like a month or so ago. i hate crying in front of people, i turn into such a hyperventilating snot monster which is not suitable for human gaze and thats the real tea :/

felix this took like 2 hours of my life i will never get back i hate you and i hope you’re happy with what you’ve done <3 <3

also anyone who wants to stalk me, enjoy this information that im handing to you on a silver platter :)) <3

[soflsms]

   ( sorry  I'm  late  to  the  party  im  in  pst  so  i  was  at  work  til  now  sdkfjl )  ANYWHO  hi  pals  what  the  h*ck  is  up  !!  im  chloe  ,  im  21  ,  i  use  she / her  pronouns  &  im  a  broke  a$$  geography  major  !!   i  am  SO  excited  to  be  her  &  get  to  rp  with  all  y’all  bc  judging  by  your  apps  skdflj  i  fuck  with  u  all  .  anywho  ill  stop  my  rambling  ,  below  the  readmore  is  stuff  about  sofie  &  some  wcs !!  

trigger  warning  !!  sex  work  ,  deportation  ,  neglect  ,  bad  writing  ,  alcoholism  &  substance  abuse

HAILEY BALDWIN  /  SHE/HER  /  TWENTY TWO  /  BILLIE EILISH VC

welcome to los angeles , sofie almeda ! the glitterati has been watching you . rumour has it you made your first mark in the industry two years ago & that your net worth currently stands at  8m . it seems as though you’re enjoying being a  singer since relocating from  harlem , new york city . some might say you’d be a good fit for the glitterati due to your hollywood ranking being a solid  #3, & it helps that fans speak so highly of your  individualistic & assiduous ways . unfortunately , our sources cite that those closest to you aren’t particularly impressed with your  self-destructive & choleric tendencies .

stats

name  :   sofie sydney almeda

nicknames  :   sof

age  :  twenty - two  .

birthday  :  december  eleventh  .

zodiac  :  sagittarius  .

gender  :  cisfemale  (  though  doesn’t  vibe  with  the  idea  of  being  STRICTLY  a  WoMaN  ,  she  finds  labels  restrictive  )  .

pronouns  :  she    &    her  .

height  :  5 ′ 6 ″  .

hometown  :    recife  ,  brazil  &  harlem  ,  new  york  city  .

nationality  :  american  ,  brazilian  .

ethnicity  :  english  ,  portuguese   .

label(s)  :  the  venereal  ,  the  bellwether  ,  the  opulent  ,   the  anaxiphile   .

occupation  :  singer  (  vc  billie  eilish  )  .  

quirks  :  fidgeting  ,  allergic  to  shellfish  ,  walks  quickly  ,  cracks  knuckles  ,  always  wears  her  lucky  ‘  st  christopher  ’  necklace  from  her  grandmother  ,  has  a  weird  ability  to  talk  herself  out  of  trouble  ,  can  tie  a  cherry  stem  in  her  mouth  ,  messy  emotionally  but  on - point  physically  ,  vvv  bad  driver  ,  loves  a  good  theme  party  ,  can’t  get  through  the  day  without  multiple  cups  of  coffee  ,  refuses  to  wear  glasses  in  public  even  though  she’s  quite  far - sighted  ,  always  carries  hand  sanitizer ,  prefers  rain  over  sunshine  .

background

         her  mother  ,  marcia  almeda  ,  was  a  recent  graduate  from  secondary  school  who  packed  a  backpack  and  went  traveling !! before  long  tho  she  ended  up  knocked  up  by  another  backpacker  ,  this  one  american  ,  while  they  were  having  a  fling  in  sydney  (  hence  sofie’s  middle  name  lmao  @  her  mom’s  humor  )  .  she  flew  back  home  when  she  found  out  &  never  told  sofie’s  father  oops !! so  marcia  had  sofie  at  home  in  recife  just  before  her  nineteenth  birthday  ,  and  marcia  was  enthralled  w  little  sofie  .  ofc  she  inherited  her  mother’s  beauty  (  i  hc  marcia  looks  like  alessandra  ambrosio  bc  hello !  )  &  little  sofie  lived  a  happy  early  childhood  life  in  her  grandparents’  home  in  recife.

         brazil  isn’t  the  safest  of  countries  &  marcia  didn’t  want  the  same  dangers  she  experienced  growing  up  for  her  young  daughter  ,  so  around  sofie’s  eighth  birthday  ,  her  &  her  mother  packed  up  and  went  on  a  ‘ trip  ’  to  new  york  city  .  joke’s  on  sofie  ,  though  -  it  wasn’t  actually  a  trip  ,  but  rly  they  were  trying  to  move  there  to  find  sofie’s  father  to  confirm  his  paternity  and  get  sofie  american  citizenship  .  it  was  proving  more  difficult  than  she  thought  ,  &  marcia  was  quickly  running  out  of  money  .  with  a  face  like  hers  ,  though  ,  making  money  wasn’t  too  difficult  ,  but  it  was  time  consuming  .  marcia  found  herself  escorting  older  men  in  order  to  pay  the  bills  ,  all  the  while  leaving  little  sofie  to  fend  for  herself  .  some  of  her  earliest  memories  are  of  strange  men  in  their  tiny  apartment  &  sofie  trying  to  block  out  their  conversations  with  her  lil  cassette  player  hiding  in  the  corner  of  her  room  .  eventually  ,  marcia  was  able  to  contact  the  father  &  they  set  up  a  meeting  .  sofie  had  gotten  her  hopes  up  that  she  would  finally  have  a  dad  (  she  got  dressed  up  in  her  sunday  best  &  everything  bc  reuniting  her  dad  was  a  BIG  deal  ) ,  but  the  meeting  ended  up  being  a  quick  exchange  of  words  ,  a  mouth  swab  and  a  couple  signatures  .  sofie  never  even  learned  his  name  ,  & this  queued  up  a  lifetime  of  daddy  issues  &  distrust  of  men  !!

        while  marcia  was  able  to  stay  in  america  much  longer  than  she  was  legally  supposed  to  ,  eventually  she  was  facing  deportation  ,  which  meant  lil  sofie  ,  with  her  citizenship  finally  confirmed  ,  was  put  into  the  hands  of  her  father  who  sent  off  to  an  american  boarding  school  in  new  york  without  even  contacting  her  .  she  would  spend  the  summers  in  brazil  with  her  mother  or  ,  as  she  got  older  ,  couch - surfing  with  different  friends  throughout  the  months  .  she  started  growing  apart  from  her  mother  as  she  aged  since  she  wasn’t  going  home  every  summer  since  she  didn’t  rly  feel  any  connection  to  brazil  .  her  grandfather  had  passed  away  &  she  only  has  faint  memories  grandmother  ,  plus  the  city  wasn’t  at  all  familiar  to  her  &  she  wasn’t  practicing  her  portuguese  after  her  mother  returned  to  brazil  .

         through  it  all  ,  music  was  proving  to  be  the  one  constant  in  her  life  she  could  use  to  escape  from  reality  .  she  had  never  done  any  training  or  classes  ,  but  she  just  liked  singing  along  to  whatever  was  on  the  radio  & practicing  on  her  own  .  she  also  found  a  passion  for  writing  poetry  which  she  later  would  realize  was  compatible  with  music  .  she  would  spend  HOURS  in  the  school  library  working  on  garage  band  lmfao  bc  she  couldn’t  afford  her  own  laptop  to  produce  music  &  her  dad  sent  just  enough  money  as  he  was  legally  supposed  to  .  but  she  worked  her  lil  tushy  off  &  applied  to  a  music  academy  in  nyc  &  was  rejected  the  first  year  (  DEVASTATING  when  mixed  with  her  impostor  syndrome  &  daddy  issues ) but  she  practiced  more  &  more  &  edned  up  getting  accepted  the  next  year  .  here  ,  she  worked  on  her  vocal  skills  &  music  production  ,  &  started  accumulating  her  own  music  &  selling  songs  to  music  producers  on  the  side  for  some  ca$h  money  .  

          by  the  time  she  was  16  the  state  decided  she  was  old  /  mature  enough  to  live  on  her  own  so  she  got  a  TINY  lil  studio  apartment  in  harlem  where  she’d  grown  up  with  her  mum  &  she  had  friends  who  she’d  grown  up  with  .  while  it  wasn’t  the  safest  neighbourhood  statistically  sofie  felt  safe  &  just  like  one  of  the  neighbourhood  kids  .  it  was  the  first  time  she  genuinely  felt  like  she  belonged .

        she  was  accepted  on  full  scholarship  to  nyu  & majored  in  music  composition  &  vocal  performance  where  she  started  finally  feeling  secure  in  herself  &  released  her  own  music  on  soundcloud  ,  quickly  amassing  a  following  &  becoming  an  ‘ up  &  coming ‘  artist  !!  she  was  contacted  by  a  scooter  braun  type  guy  who  was  interested  in  taking  her  on  under  his  management  so  she  dropped  out  of  uni  in  her  2nd  year  (  bc  tbh  her  grades  in  anything  other  than  her  music  classes  were  v  subpar  )  .  soon  enough  producers  wanted  to  work  with  her  &  she  was  making  enough  that  she  didn’t  have  to  sell  her  songs  which  she  hated  doing  but  had  to  pay  the  bills  u  know  .  oh  &  her  vc  is  billie  eilish  bc  ofc  shes  my  queen  go  stream  when  we  all  fall  asleep  where  do  we  go  on  spotify  u  won’t  be  disappointed  

        she  also  started  getting  into  the  partying  scene  here  yikes  !! it  was  a  method  for  her  to  numb  all  her  pain  from  her  past  &  impostor  syndrome  &  drown  all  that  out  in  pills  or  tequila  .  it  rly  wasn’t  healthy  bc  of  how  she  would  binge  for  a  weekend  then  try  to  stay  sober  throughout  the  week  but  failing  by  about  wednesday when  she  started  to  feel  hollow  .  she  wasn’t  gonna  be  a  one  hit  wonder  &  her  mom  sure   as  hell  didn’t  go  through  all  that  trouble  just  for  sofie  to  be  a  nobody  addict  !! so  she  kept  it  together  enough  to  start  making big  bucks  & well  …….  here  she  is  :~)

personality

        sofie  blames  it  on  her  brazilian  heritage  but  this  bitch  loves  a  party  !!  like  shes  the  one  who  gets  happy drunk  at  the  pre  then  is  the  first  on  the  dance  floor  then  later  falls  out  of  the  club  &  into  some  rando’s  bed !!  in  the  back  of  her  mind  she  knows  her  drug  &  alcohol  use  is  self - destructive  but  she  figures  shes  allowed  to  let  loose  sometimes (  even  if  that  ends  up  being  most  nights  )  ;  rly  she’s  just  in  denial  bc  she  doesn’t  want  to  change  her  ways  &  lose  her  identity  !!

        doesn’t  put  labels  on  her  gender  identity  or  sexual orientation  .  she  finds  them  restrictive  &  useless  for  herself  ,  labels  would  only  be  to  satisfy  others  .  she  doesn’t  see  herself  as  110%  female  either  like  she’s  all about  gender  being  a  social  construct  /  a  spectrum  ;  some  days  she’ll  get  dolled  up  &  wear  heavy  makeup  &  six  inch  heels  ,  some  days  she’ll  walk  around  in  a  bun  &  tracksuit  &  trainers  .  anyone  who  asks  abt  it  will  swiftly  get  2  middle  fingers  in  their  face  !! shes  uncontrollable  i  swear

         puts  up  a  tough  bad - ass  front  like  billie  does aksjdh  like  nah  nothing  can  hurt  me  im  bulletproof  !!  but  is  rly  just  kinda  broken  underneath  .  she  doesn’t  even  let  her  closest  friends  know  how  hurting  she  is  bc  she  doesn’t  wanna  burden  them  .  she  rly  uses  mmusic  as  an  outlet  tho  so  she’ll  act  totally  tough  then   go  to  the  studio  &  record  all  about  her  heartache  .  will  NEVER  let  someone  see  her  cry  no  matter  how  close  she  is  with  them  .  she  rly  sees  it  as  a  sign  of  weakness  &  shes  in  a  much  better  place  than  she  was  5  years  ago  so  she  figures  she’s  not  ALLOWED  to  feel  anything  but  grateful  .  

         this  bitch  overthinks  everything  !! half  the  time  she  isn’t  rly  listenning  to  whoever  bc  she’s  thinking  about  what  they  just  said  &  if  they’re  mad  with  her  .  she’s  that  friend  who  will  ask  u  to  come  over  to  formulate  the  perfect  text  response  &   fuss  over  it  for  hours  .  that  being  said  ,  if  someone  talks  shit  abt  anyone  shes  tight  with  ,  they’re  gonna  get  it  the  next  time   she  sees  them  .  she  isn’t  about  violence  &  would  never  get  into  a  physical  fight  ,  but  she’d  work  behind  the  scenes  to  ruin  their  life  .  but  then  she  pretends  like  she  rly  doesn’t  care  though  its  obvious  to  those  close  to  her  that  she  cares  way  too  much

has  a  very  hard  time  expressing  love  bc  she  didn’t  have  much  practice  w  it  growing  up  .  she  was  on  her  own  most  of  her  young  life  so  even  if  her  mom  would  tell  her   te  amo  she  would  be  like  uh  huh  gtg  bye !!  

tldr ;  poor  bitch  w  abandonment  issues  who  was  able  to  get  out  of  it  by  channeling  her  energy  into  music  &  numbing  the  stress  with  pills  or  alcohol  which  she  def  still overuses  but  she  doesn’t  think its  a  problem  !! yikeroony  !!  loves  partying  & having  a  good  time  ,  puts  up  a  tough  front  but  is  rly  soft  underneath  .

wanted (* = mw)

friends  from  high  school  !! -  people  sof  stayed  with  in  the  summer  bc  she  wasn’t  going  home  to  brazil  .  

friends  from  music  school  !!  -  she  def  felt  like  an  outsider  among  the  music  prodigies  at  this  school  ,  &  maybe  this  person  was  one  of  the  ppl  she  actually  connected  with  . 

come  out  &  play  !!  this  person  acts  as  a  good  influence  to  sofie  .  they’re  level - headed  &  very  grounding  ,  &  sofie  doesn’t  let  it  show  but  they’re  really  important  to  her  .  this  is  the  Softest  billie  song  (  prob  bc  it  was  for  an  ad skdj )  &  they  inspired  it  bc  it’s  how  she  feels  when  shes with  them  .  they  encourage  her  to  be  all  that  she  can  be  &  they  believe  in  her  ,  &  they’re  prob  the  one  person  sofie  trusts  the  most  which  is  SAYING  something  !!

*exes  on  bad  terms  !!  -   ok  this  would  basically  be  based  on  all  the  songs  billie  has  about  a  failed  relationship  /  heartbreak  !! shes  got  a  bunch  .  im  thnking  maybe  she  was  actually  rly  into  them  but  had  a  hard  time  expressing  it  bc  she’s never  been  good  with  emotional  expression  ,  &  it  led  to  the  relationship  feeling ?? unfaithful  /  disconnected  ??  idk  but  she  rly  loved  them  &  is  still  nursing  that  heartbreak  .  (  x  ,  x  ,  x  )

the  paris  to  her  nicole  !!  -  ok  i  f*cking  hate  that  i  said  this  but  she’s  nicole  richie  its  true  !! she  needs  a  messy  gal  pal  exactly  like  how  paris  &  nicole  are  i  stan  them  (  x  ,  x  ,  x  )

roommate  !!  -  bc  of  her  abandonment  issues  she  rly  doesn’t  like  living  alone  so  prob  is  the  roomie  who  will  sleep  in  their  bed  from  time  to  time  bc  she  doesn’t  like  being  totally  alone  .  

*when  the  party’s  over  !!  - these  two have  been  hooking  up  for  a  while  no  strings  attached  but  recently  feelings  have  been  caught  !! &  now  they  still  hook  up  quite  often  but  sofie’s  kinda  harboring  feelings &  pretending  all  is  well  but  she  rly  hopes  they’ll  just  stay  the  night  from  time  to  time  ,  &  gets  secretly  heartbroken  when  she  sees  them  flirting  or  leaving  with  someone  else  . they  can  also  have  feelings  if  u  want  that  angst :~)

fwb  !!  -  sofie  is  pretty  transparent  when  it  comes  to  what  she  wants  &  she’s  got  a  bad  habit  of  replacing  dealing  with  problems  with  getting  laid  !! like  u  know  in  movies  when  the  man  opens  his  wallet  and  a  row  of  like  20  pictures  of  different  women  fall  out  ??  that’s  sof’s  aesthetic  .  she’s  got  a  bunch  of  fwb  of  all  genders  so  bring  me  some  pls

***mutual  dislike  /  copycat  !!  self - explanatory  ,  sofie  thinks  this  person  is  copying  her  in  everything  she  does  &  thinks  its  annoying  af  so  she  wrote  a  song  abt  it  &  hopes  they  indirectly  get  the  message  even  if  she  drops  not  so  subtle  hints  .  skfldjh  itd  be  messy  pls !!

party  buddies  !!  -  someone  who  encourages  sofies  wild  ways  .  when  the  two  get  together  its  usually  to  get  drunk  or  high  &  thats  the  way  they  like  it  .  sofie  doesn’t  feel  judged  by  them  as  she  does  by  others  who  don’t  get  obliterated  at  every  social  event  (  what  an  idea  !!  )  so  she  rly  values  them  ,  even  if  she  doesn’t  express  it

 ** 8 !! - someone  who  kinda  reluctantly  got  into  a  relationship  with  sofie  out  of  maybe  a  desire  to  save  her  from  herself  ??  like  u  know  that  good  girl  bad  boy  trope  where  the  girl  tries  to  save  the  boy  from  whatever  he’s  struggling  with  ?  that’s  them  but  the  roles  are  just  reversed  -  good  guy  ,  bad  girl  .  it  was  kinda  just  filled  w  her  being  self - destructive  &  confiding  in  him  but  not  rly  reciprocating  the  care  so  he  became  kinda  distant  bc  of  it  .  tbh  she  prob  knew  he  was  too  good  for  her  but  had  a sliver  of  hope  he  wouldn’t  leave  her  even  tho  eventually  she  became  too  much  for  him  .  (  lyrics : you said, "don't treat me badly", but you said it so sadly, so I did the best I could, not thinkin' you would have left me gladly. i know you're not sorry, why should you be? 'cause who am I to be in love, when your love never is for me?” )

good influence  !! this  person  can  tell  that  her  beahvior  is  unhealthy  &  are  trying  to  gently  nudge  her  abt  it  .  she  can  tell  what  they’re  doing  but  her  addict  brain  is  telling  her  its  invasive  &  threatening  so  shes  not  the  fondest  of  this  person  ,  but  deep  down  she  really  appreciates  them

music buddies !! these  two  are  both  in  the  music  industry  &  rather  than  it  being  competitive  ,  they’ve  developed  a  friendship  from  it  & enjoy  working  together  .  

* someone  sofie  ghostwrites  for  !! for  whatever  reason  ,  this  muse  doesn’t  write  their  own  songs  & instead  pays  sofie  to  write  them  for  them  .  she  doesn’t  love  it  but  its  a  way  to  make  money  &  give  away  songs  she  doesn’t  feel  attached  to  but  are  worth  something  .  maybe  its  tense  bc  they  claim  the  songs  as  their  own  &  sofie  doesn’t  like  it  ,  this  could  be  ~escandolo~  later  !!

*** my boy ( high school bf ) !! - ok  tea  this  song  is  the  one  that  broke  her  into  the  industry  .  she  produced  it  all  herself  &  just  relased  it  to  her  soundcloud  thinking  it  wouldn’t  rly  go  anyway  but  !!  joke’s  on  yung sofie  .  essentially  he  thought  the  relationship  was  going  well  ,  she’d  met  his  family  &  they  rly  liked  her  but  !! sof  was  feeling  kinda  smothered  &  told  herself  he  was  lying &  cheating  on  her  n  shit  so  she  wrote  a  song  about  it  !! &  once  it  was  starting  to  get  attention  he  was  like  ….. uhhh  what  the  fuck  & she  was  like  haha  sorry  !! so  they  broke  up  &  ever  since  its  been  animosity ,  but  she  realizes  she  fucked  up  but  it  launched  her  career  so  she  doesn’t  know  whether  to  keep  up  the  idgaf  i  hurt  you  or  apologize  .  

* ex - friends  !!  ok  pls  i  have  this  hc  where  sofie  got  way  too  high  one  night  &  slept  with  this  person’s  dad  or  sibling  or  smth !!  u  know  that  line  in  ‘ bad guy ’  where  she  goes  ‘ might  seduce  your  dad  type  ? ’  ya  that’s  got  sofie  written  ALL  over  it  !!   &  now  they’re  not  friends  bc  sofie  can’t  keep  it  in  her  pants  but  both  sides  kinda  misses  the  other  but  are  too  stubborn  to  say  anything  :~(

exes from college / high school  !!  - ok honestly i just love all the exes plots . gimme someone who like maybe they were hooking up & decided to give it a shot dating & it worked for a while but ultimately fell apart bc of sof’s inability to open up. maybe theres still tension or maybe theyre friends now !!

* lovely  !!  -  i  need  a  male  voice  for  khalid’s  part  in  lovely  bc  i  need  this  song  in  my  life  bc  its  a  whole  ass   sofie  mood  ok  .  

i’ve  also  got  a  wanted  connections  tag  linked  HERE  dksfj there's  not  much  in  it  yet  but  feel  free  to  check  it  out  .  ok  i  love  y'all  

[hailqiqi]

The Future in Snippets

AO3 - Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three - Chapter Four

Chapter Five: ...Must Come Down Somewhere

Words: 4902

So it turns out that the ghosts of actions past bite. And not in the way you’d want them to.

---

@blue-hawkeye A Lannister always pays her debts.  Shout out to @mistyhollowpro for reading this through for me like ten times over the last week, and the lovely people on the Pidgance Positivity Server for listening to me whinge about the writing process!

This chapter is SFW

---

For the fourth time in three days, Pidge woke up wondering how the fuck she was going to face Lance.

Especially since the last thing in her face had been his—

She cut her thoughts off with a squeak and buried her face back in the pillow, cheeks burning.

Frustrated irritation washed over her a moment later. Why was she still so embarrassed about this? Last night she’d been rubbing against it. (‘It’. His dick. D-I-C-K. She was at least going to think the damn word, even if she couldn’t say it.)

It was definitely too late to play the shy card, so if her cheeks and morals and whatever the hell kept making her want to run away giggling like a grade-schooler could just get with the damn programme that’d be great. Whatever the programme was.

She was still blushing when she forced herself to the sink, but she ignored it to frown at her half-undone braid instead. Sighing, she began work on undoing the other one, making a mental note to check her bedsheets later for the missing hairband.

Being shy about it didn’t have to be a bad thing, she reasoned. Maybe she just wasn’t the type of girl who could be straightforward about things like that. Then again, Pidge had never thought she was the type of girl to lose her virginity against a wall, but...

Her fingers stilled, eyes going wide. Was that where it had been heading last night? If Lance hadn't said her name and freaked her out, would they have gone all the way?

Yes, a little voice whispered. Just thinking back to his touch was making shivers dance across her flesh, her breath catching in her throat and heat curling in her belly at the ghost of the sensation. The way his fingertips had roved over her skin, leaving fire in their wake. The strength of his body pressed against hers. The passion in his lips.

...The clumsy sweetness of those first kisses. The way he'd blushed when she kissed his cheek, as if that had meant more than the frantic making out (foreplay, she forcefully corrected herself) just minutes before. The way he'd given her space the picosecond she'd said she was uncomfortable.

Those memories stirred up a very different kind of warmth, and a smile tugged at her lips.

She used her fingers to comb her hair out into messy waves, still smiling as she studied her reflection in the mirror. If Lance had been the one to yell stop, would she have had the self-control to back off that quickly?  Somehow, she doubted it — all she’d wanted was to be closer.

But Lance had, and she'd always heard it was meant to be harder for guys. That had to mean something, right?

She reached for the toothbrush almost absently. That had to mean something might be a redundant question when he'd flat-out admitted to liking her in the lounge.

A memory flashed in her mind: his jacket around her shoulders, and the gentle hands that had put it there. When she closed her eyes, she could almost feel its warmth again, and that realisation gave her pause.

The girl in the mirror had wide eyes, pale skin and messy hair, and for once Pidge didn't think she looked like a boy.

But did she look like a girl in love?

 ------

 Pidge was still dwelling on the answer when she tripped over Lance on the way to breakfast.

"Woah!" He reacted quickly, abandoning his shoelaces to whirl around and catch her before she faceplanted. "What the cheese, Pidge, look where you're— ah, Pidge! Uh..."

His hands were still on her shoulders, helping to steady her even as his cheeks rapidly darkened. Pidge could feel her own cheeks heat up to match as the memories of the night before -- both the dreams and the reality -- came flooding back.

Shit. He stared at her, wild-eyed, looking as lost as she felt. She had to say something to break the tension. Anything. Anything— "Uh, hi."

Lance nodded, releasing a breath she hadn’t realised he’d been holding. "Yeah. Uh, hi."

"Well, now I know what you two were dreaming about last night," Hunk said, grinning, and they leapt apart.

Lance let go of Pidge (she wasn’t disappointed she wasn’t), punched Hunk on the arm, then shoved his hands in his pockets and started stalking down the hallway towards the dining room. "Shut up, buddy."

Hunk waggled his eyebrows. "Just sayin'." Turning to Pidge with a laugh, he gestured for her to walk with him as Lance disappeared through the doorway. "Seriously, my dreams aren't nearly as interesting. Last night I was talking to Coran about upgrading the castle's system."

“That is interesting, though!” Pidge protested, immediately interested in the word ‘upgrade’. “Do you remember what you were doing with them?”

“No idea. Just something about Planck’s Constant,” he replied with a shrug.

“6.62607004 × 10-34 m2 kg / s?” She frowned. “What do photons have to do with the castle’s systems? The particle barrier?”

Hunk froze, his hand inches away from the door panel. “Okay, look, I’m smart and I’ve known you for about two years now but it’s still scary how you can just rattle things like that off.” Pidge smirked, and he wiggled a finger at her. “Also, the particle barrier would make sense, but I didn’t see that much.”

The door whooshed open. “Okay, but the only thing in this castle that utilises that much electromagnetism is the particle barrier, so—”

“Are you kidding? I leave you guys alone for five seconds and you’re already talking nerd stuff?”

Pidge made a face and flipped him off without even looking, instead edging around the table towards the kitchen. “As I was saying, it’s—”

“—nice knowing some things haven’t changed.”

Both members of Team Punk froze, turning towards the source of the voice as one. Keith sat at the table next to Lance, a grin on his face and one hand held up in greeting. “Morning.”

“Keith!”

The flood of emotion that threatened to overwhelm her caught her off-guard, but the next moment Pidge practically ran at him, tackling him in a hug so exuberant it almost knocked him off his chair. Keith grunted with the impact and tensed up, but a moment later she felt his arms wind around her back as he returned the embrace, murmuring “Are you okay?” against her hair.

Pidge nodded, tightening her grip and breathing in. Keith was the one who’d spent hours teaching her how to fight, who offered her his silent company when she was up late working on difficult programs and always helped her work out her frustrations when she needed to hit things but didn’t want to talk about why.

She’d missed him.

A second later they both yelped as Hunk got in on the action and lifted them into the air, though Pidge’s laughter quickly turned into wheezing when she found her air supply cut off. She wriggled out of the group hug, landing on her feet ungracefully but saved from a meeting with the floor by a hand on her back again.  Surprised, she turned to see Lance watching them, his other elbow on the table propping up his chin.

He returned her grateful smile with a raised eyebrow. “How come I never get greeted like that?”

“Disappear for four months and you might,” she replied, rolling her eyes.

“Okay, one,” Hunk chimed in, releasing a grateful Keith from his hold and wiping his cheeks, “nobody is stopping you from getting in on this action, you just think you’re too cool for hugs. Two, you got a giant quiznaking hug from Pidge yesterday, and I think that counts.”

Pidge froze.

“She was crying! That’s not the same!” Lance protested, and Pidge let out a breath she hadn’t realised she was holding. Right. The morning thing. That dream, and not the...other thing.

Hunk hummed non-commitantly, gesturing for Pidge to follow him to grab some food goo, while Keith frowned at Lance. “Pidge was crying? Why?”

“Uhh…”

“Those two have been having a bunch of dreams about each other,” Hunk offered, saving him from having to think of a reply. “You know, the prophecy ones? From the quintessence on this planet? But trust me, you really don’t wanna know the details.”

“I don’t even wanna know the details,” Lance muttered as Pidge slid into the empty seat next to him.

Pidge shrugged and scooped up some of her breakfast, pausing with the spork halfway to her mouth as she felt eyes on her. She looked up to see Keith studying her. “What?”

He frowned. “Are you sure you’re okay? You’re not normally that...happy to see me.”

The question made her think. Was she okay? She glanced sideways for a cue but Lance’s attention was focused on his breakfast, so instead she turned back to Keith and forced a half-smile. “I guess? Life is just really weird right now.”

That must have been the right answer, because Keith chuckled in response, his shoulders relaxing. “When isn’t it?”

Breakfast proceeded fairly normally after that, the sound of sporks scraping plates interspersed with idle chatter as they caught Keith up on all that had happened with Team Voltron and he shared some anecdotes about his time with the Blade until the door whooshed open, admitting Coran.

“Ah, there you are! Lance, I’ve input those designs and the measurements from your armour into the fabricator so we should have those outfits for the ball in two quintants!” He stood at the head of the table, his hands on his hips as he surveyed them, expression brightening even further when his gaze landed on Pidge. “Number Five, I daresay you’ll look like a Groggorian beauty in that dress!”

Her spork landed on the table with a clatter as panic seized in her throat. “Dress?! What dress?!”

“It’s a different dress!” Lance yelled, eyes wide and face pale. “A totally different dress!”

Pidge stared at him, her heart pounding a mile a minute, trying desperately to calm the panic in her mind. Lance stared back, equally flustered.

Wheezing laughter broke the tension — “O.M.G., was Pidge wearing a dress in the last one?!” — and embarrassment hit Pidge like an ion cannon.

“Oh no!” she squeaked, hiding her face in her hands and slamming her head on the table. “Why is this even happening?!”

She heard Lance groan beside her, and the sound of Keith smacking Hunk on the back as his laughter turned into choking (good, maybe then he’d shut up). Her face felt so hot part of her was afraid the table would melt through, but — whatever. Pidge was staying there even if it did. In fact, this was where she was going to live out the rest of her life now, face buried in a hard table until someone developed a cure for abject mortification.

“Did Pidge and Lance dream about each other again?” Coran sounded confused.

“Are you kidding? Pidge is all I’ve been dreaming about! Seriously, I thought I was gonna get all these cool dreams about cool things I’m gonna be doing but no, it’s all Pidge—”

“To be fair, Pidge is pretty cool, Lance.”

—Hunk was gonna die. She’d have to do it when he was asleep, because there was no way she could overpower him, but if she tied him up first and woke him then she’d at least get to see the fear in his eyes—

“They’re together a lot in their free time, so it’s not that strange, is it?” Keith pointed out.

“No, it’s still unusual…” Coran said, slowly, and Pidge looked up from her homicidal fantasies to watch him twirl his moustache. “Normally the dreams are cyclical in nature; we should be ‘taking it in turns’, so to speak…”

“Are all of our dreams these prophecy dreams? And do we only have one a night, or do we have a bunch and just can’t remember most of them? Like how normal dreams work?” Lance asked, his spork pointed towards Coran as he waited for an answer.

Pidge frowned. “Are you talking about REM and non-REM cycles?”

Lance blinked. “I dunno. Am I?”

“I’m not sure what a remming cycle is, but Number Three is right in that you typically only remember the last dream you had before you wake up. And since we’re all new to Miskira, we should each be having three to six prophetic dreams a night, even though we only remember one or two.” Coran studied them, obviously thinking carefully before choosing his next words. “Still, it’s rather strange that you’ve only dreamt of each other. I’ve shared dreams with a different person every night.”

“Come to think of it, I haven’t had a dream with either of them in it,” said Hunk. “Guess they’re too busy—”

“Don’t finish that thought, buddy,” Lance growled, leaning across Keith to brandish his spork at him.

Before anyone could react, Allura’s voice echoed over the PA.

“Paladins to the bridge. Immediately.”

Everyone in the room exchanged a glance, then shuffled to their feet as Coran began herding them out the door, clapping his hands like a kindergarten teacher. “Up, up! Let’s go! You too, Keith, you’re still a paladin!”

 ——-

 Lance caught her just outside the kitchen, tugging gently on her wrist while waving the others ahead. “Uh, about last night…”

Pidge’s thoughts abruptly screeched to a halt.

Last night. The changing room. The kisses, the touching, the everything. Her cheeks were burning when she squeaked out, “Um, yeah?”

He chuckled, a smile briefly gracing his lips, before glancing away and scratching the back of his neck. Dark red dusted his cheeks, his fingers were warm on her wrist, and Pidge suddenly found his proximity very distracting.

Distracting enough that she was thrown for a loop when he pinned her with a look and asked: “What are we?”

“Uh… What?” Shit. “Um. Friends? We’re friends.” Right?

“I… Friends?”

“I guess…?” Pidge blinked. “I don’t—”

“Pidge, I don’t do that kind of stuff with friends.” He let go of her wrist to gesture between them, and Pidge resisted the urge to grab his hand. “We’re not…?”

Wrapping her arms around herself, she dropped her gaze to his shoes, breathing through her mouth in an effort to ignore his scent and regain some semblance of clarity. “Look, Lance, I’m just—” Breathe, Pidge. “ — I’m confused, I don’t know what I want or—”

“I know what I want,” he said, and the conviction in his voice made her gaze snap up to his.

“What?”

“I do know what I want,” he repeated, voice firm. He lifted his chin, straightened up and squared his shoulders, hands held sharply at his sides as he said, “I want you.”

The breath left her lungs in a rush. “I—”

She what, exactly?

Blank. Her mind was blank.

Lance held her gaze steadily, his entire attention focused on her, and she suddenly felt very, very small.

He was waiting for an answer, but she didn’t have one. Panic began to set in and her thoughts started tumbling over each other in a never-ending waterfall of useless fragments as she searched for something to tell him. Did she—? Yes? No? She had, but, she did—?

“Okay you two, are you coming or not? Cause Allura won’t be happy if you’re late.”

They both spun around at the intrusion, and the tension snapped.

Maybe she’d forgive Hunk for earlier after all.

 ——-

 The walls were made of space bamboo, and it was making it very difficult for Pidge to keep denying that the Miskirans did kinda look like pandas.

Lance, of course, had been fucking delighted the moment they’d pulled up an image of the hideout. It was probably only the facts that Shiro and Allura were running on zero sleep and already wanted to kill him that kept him silent, but Pidge hadn’t missed the way his features lit up when Hunk said: “Is that...bamboo?”

It turned out there was a healthy chunk of metal in here too, but the middle of a mission wasn’t really the time to dwell on it.

“Two bio-signatures coming up on the right.”

They ducked into an alcove, pressing themselves against the sides as the guards — probably some of the Miskiran rebels — walked past the end of the hallway. Hunk gave the all-clear on the comms and Keith signalled for them to get moving.

She saw Lance moving to bring up the rear with his rifle as she skulked back out into the hallway, following Keith’s lead. The three of them moved swiftly and silently through the dim halls, pausing to avoid patrols before setting off again.

The mission itself was simple. Infiltrate the collaborators’ hideout, find their server room, and steal all their intel. The hideout was dimly lit and heavily guarded, but that was nothing the Paladins hadn’t faced before. It was almost routine by now.

The formation was new. Shiro and Allura were strictly off the mission as they hadn’t slept in over 24 hours; though Allura was waiting in Blue in case they needed an extraction. Hunk was on the comms, providing back-up from a stake-out spot a hundred feet or so away.

“You’re gonna be caught between two patrols if you go that way. Wait where you are.”

Pidge grit her teeth. Lance should have been on the comms, really. His rifle was much more reliable than the BLIP sensors they were using, but the Miskirans had insisted that Lance be in the ground team with her, so here he was. Insisted, as in, threatened to withdraw their support for the Coalition if he wasn’t.

These were the same Miskirans who had point-blank refused to entertain the idea of joining the infiltration, claiming it was ‘too dangerous’. They’d even wanted to pull Keith off the ground team; he was only with them because Shiro was adamant that Pidge have some close-quarters back-up and had sworn to pull the plug on the entire alliance if they tried to send her in with only Lance.

Of course, the Miskirans didn’t really care if Pidge died on the mission. That was probably the point, as Keith had cynically pointed out.

The Minister was dead. Pidge and Lance were the chief suspects.

Though why that made the Miskirans think they were the best choice for this mission, Pidge had no idea. If they really were working with the rebels, infiltrating rebel HQ wouldn’t have been hard for them. Allura said it was likely a test of their loyalty. The idea made Pidge want to punch something.

Preferably a panda-alien.

“Once you turn this corner your target’s straight ahead. No hostiles currently within range.”

“Roger that,” Lance replied softly, and they exchanged a glance as Keith gave the signal again.

The code on the server room door was easy to hack. They quickly ensconced themselves inside, Lance wriggling up into the rafters by the door while Keith took up a defensive position at her back.

Pidge always secretly hated this part. Hacking into the mainframe, finding the data and downloading it was never a problem, but data transfers always took time. And Pidge, as the resident computer genius, had to monitor the download — lives often depended on the download going smoothly — which meant she needed to rely on the others to watch her back.

And they would — this she knew without a doubt. Right now, Keith stood beside her and Lance was watching over them both, and both of them would throw themselves in the line of fire for her without a moment’s hesitation — as she would for them. But there was always this tiny part of her that hated it, repressed animal instincts that flat-out rebelled at the thought of being deliberately vulnerable in a dangerous situation. Of giving up control over her own defence.

Sixty-seven percent. Ten minutes remaining.

“One bio-signature heading towards the entrance.”

A sharp intake of breath from Lance. Keith glanced at her. “How long will that lock hold?”

“Five minutes, max,” she replied, eyes fixed on the screen.

“How long left on the download?”

“Nine.”

A thick silence fell over the room.

Hunk’s voice was quiet. “Guys, they’re at the door.”

The faint beeps of the keypad floated through the door, followed by the sound of familiar cursing and thuds against the metal.

Eight minutes left.

“Second hostile approaching. I think he’s called for back-up.”

“They probably think the lock’s broken,” Lance said, armour rustling as he shifted in the rafters. “How long, Pidge?”

Seventy-four percent. “Almost Seven.”

“Maybe they won’t figure it out and we’ll get out scott-free.”

“Unfortunately, that’s our only exit,” Keith said.

“Unless there’s another way out. Hunk?”

Lance sounded optimistic, but Pidge knew the answer before it came. They’d all studied the blueprints. “That’s the only entrance. I think they know something’s up, there are a lot of hostiles moving in your direction very quickly.”

“Six,” she chanted, answering the question before Keith could ask it.

Nerves threatened at the back of her throat, but she forced them back down as Keith dropped into a defensive stance, his voice steady as he said, “Allura.”

“Yes?”

“Be ready. We might need that extraction.”

“Standing by.”

The sound of metal and wood clashing reverberated throughout the room. Pidge curled in on herself, trying to make herself as small a target as possible without losing the connection. They needed this intel. At the very minimum, it would exonerate her and Lance and save the alliance.

Eighty-five percent.

“Don’t worry Pidge, we’ve got your back.”

There was confidence in Lance’s voice, and Pidge felt a fleeting desire to see him. “I know. Four minutes.”

“How many outside, Hunk?”

“I’m counting ten, with more incoming.”

Keith swore and moved out of her field of vision entirely as the noises through the door grew louder, likely taking up a position at her back. “Get ready.”

Not much I can really do. Fighting the urge to grab her bayard, she inhaled deeply and focused on the screen. Eighty-nine percent. Three minutes.

The pounding grew louder. A single bead of sweat dripped down her brow.

“Allura, get in the air. How long, Pidge?”

“Two minutes.”

She briefly heard Allura’s confirmation, and then all hell broke loose. The door gave way with the sound of splintering wood and an almighty crash, then a roar filled the room as footsteps pounded towards them and Keith yelled, “Get down!”

Hunkering down further, she forced herself to focus on the download. Ninety-four percent. Less than two minutes.

A pop, a heavy thud, and she knew Lance had just taken down someone who got too close. The body didn’t move again. Must be Galran.

“Don’t kill the Miskirans!” Keith yelled, and Pidge found herself hysterically wondering why the fuck they’d sent a sniper and a swordsman in with the instructions to ‘wound, not kill, under any circumstances’. Miskiran lives were precious.

More precious than theirs, apparently.

One minute left.

“C’mon c’mon c’mon…” she chanted. Groans of pain reverberated in her ears, so more than a few of the too-precious-to-die Miskirans must have been littering the floor. Keith was still fighting, Allura was in her ears reporting that she was less than two minutes out, and the bar kept ticking upwards…

Ninety-eight… Ninety-nine…

“Yes! Done!” She slammed the gauntlet down and spun, hand flying to her holster and ready to join the fray.

She didn’t get the chance. Her bayard flew from her grip as she was hoisted into the air, sharp claws slowly digging through her suit and into the flesh of her neck. Pain exploded in her throat and she gasped, struggling to breathe, hands coming up to scrabble at the armoured hand of the Miskiran who held her.

Shit.

Glittering gold eyes glared from a black-and-white patched face, sharp teeth far too close for comfort as her captor hissed: “You won’t get out of here alive. We’ll have—”

The world exploded in red.

 —-

 Later that night, Pidge tossed and turned, unable to sleep.

The blood had taken forever to wash off. Her armour was in the steriliser — the last time she’d seen it, it had been more pink than white. At least her helmet had stopped any from getting in her hair. They’d had to check her blood for contaminants, though, as her suit had been compromised.

She shuddered as she brought a hand to her throat. Her windpipe had been crushed, but a quick stint in a pod and now there weren’t even marks.

Somehow that felt wrong.

Pidge was the lucky one, though. She remembered all-too-well the helpless frustration of seeing your teammate lying injured on death’s doorstep. All Pidge remembered was everything going red, and then she was waking up to her brother’s waiting arms.

The pods always made her sleepy, so after that it had been food, a shower and then bed, in quick succession. She’d woken up sometime after dinner, refreshed after her blessedly dreamless sleep, only to be accosted and dragged into a tight, lingering hug by absolutely everybody she came across.

Even Keith had grabbed her and held on tight, raising the number of Keith-initiated hugs she’d experienced to one. She must have looked like death when they got back.

Lance had been conspicuously absent, though, and as Pidge reshaped her pillow for the third time in five minutes she couldn’t help but wonder if that was why she couldn’t sleep.

Sure, she was probably going to see him in her dreams again, but she kind of wanted to see him now. At the very least, she owed him a thank you for saving her life.

Pushing herself out of bed before she could think too much, she slipped on her lion slippers and started gathering supplies. Lance was probably awake as well, and she had a hard drive with 200TB of movies on it. A movie night sounded like a good distraction.

She took a step and paused, computer in hands, as the cool air of the hallway hit her bare shoulders.

First, she had to get changed.

 ------

 Less than ten minutes later she was settled on Lance’s bed in her Altean pyjamas, leaning back against the wall as she watched him try to hook her laptop up to the screen in his room. Something about the way his brow furrowed as he glared at the wires was endlessly entertaining: she could watch him do that for hours and not get bored.

“You know, I could do that in two ticks, right?” she offered, eyebrow raised, inwardly wincing when the effect was ruined by a jaw-cracking yawn.

“You sure you won’t fall asleep?” he replied, shooting her a smirk over his shoulder before going back to it. “Besides I think I’ve...aha!”

The screen flickered to life and Pidge cheered when he returned to her, grinning proudly as he handed her the laptop. “Check it out, the cable’s even long enough!”

“Of course it is, I brought it,” she said, rolling her eyes. “What do you want to watch?”

“Something light. Family-friendly.” He paused. “Nothing with blood in it.”

The implication hung heavy in the air. Pidge hesitated, then clicked on the folder labelled ‘Disney’. “Have you seen Frozen?”

“I have a niece, Pidge, I’ve seen it a million times.”

“How do you feel about seeing it a million and one?”

Lance laughed, and the tension vanished. “Yeah. Good.”

When they settled back against the wall — laptop safely on the floor and out of accidental kicking range — Lance startled her by wrapping an arm around her waist, his expression sheepish but his eyes haunted when she glanced at him for answers. “Look, I know we still have to talk and you said you were confused, but is this okay? Just...for now?”

She hesitated for only a second before snuggling into the embrace, flopping one of her legs over his as she curled up against his chest. Lance quickly drew her closer, pressing a kiss against her hair, and Pidge couldn’t stop the giggle from slipping out. “Okay. Now watch the movie.”

“Yes, Katie,” he chanted, sitting up a little straighter. “I’m pretty sure I can recite this movie word-for-word, though.”

“Just don’t sing,” she said with a laugh. The ice men were finishing their manly chorus on screen, and as the shot panned out to the stars Pidge was irrepressibly reminded of the view from the baths the night before.

Which reminded her of something else. “By the way,” she said, “it’s Caterina.”

“Huh?”

“My name. It’s Caterina,” she repeated softly, suddenly feeling shy. “That’s what Katie’s short for.”

“Caterina?!”

His shoulders began to shake, and she smacked her palm against his chest, eyes narrowed. “Don’t call me that though. Seriously. The only person who calls me that is my nonna, and even then I only tolerate it.”

“Really? Your mom doesn’t say something like Caterina Maria Holt, get down here when you’re in trouble?” Lance pitched a falsetto on the name, eyes overflowing with mirth as he pushed her bangs back off her face.

“Oh my god, Lance.” She buried her face in his chest to hide from him. “I am not telling you my middle name.”

Laughter spilled from his lips, making his entire body vibrate. “Is it really Maria?!”

“No!”

[trouvxilles-blog]

Character Development : Description

BASICS

Full Name: terrence oberon yoon Nicknames: terry, “t” (lance usually calls him this), dumbass, asshole (both on more than a few occasions) Sex/Gender: male Right or Left: right Age: 21 (international) Height: 5′9 Eye Colour: dark brown Hair Colour: black Distinguishing Marks: a mole on his right cheek; scars across his left wrist; a small diagonal scar on his right temple from getting into a fight; a small, light birthmark on the left side of his chest, and a small, light, heart-shaped birth mark on his right hip bone. Paragraph Of Physical Traits: his skin is fair with golden undertones. his overall body type is slender, but toned from rotc training. he has soft features that people think make him look pretty, and broad shoulders that tells people he’s actually a man which especially helped when he grew his hair out. his arms are toned but still pretty skinny despite doing push-ups and playing basketball; his hair is an uneven dark bob with just as uneven bangs.

FAMILY/RELIGION

Parents: yoon sangchul (father, unemployed asshole alcoholic), alice han (estranged, former file clerk; he doesn’t know what she’s doing now) Siblings: five (5) - titania (tanya), 26, works a desk job her friend got here in the morning and as a bar waitress at night - lance, 23, web developer because he’s basically a genius, got a scholarship in one of the top universities - juliet (julie), 16, 10th grade, takes a lot of babysitting opportunities - tybalt (ty), 14, 8th grade psycho, usually helps julie babysit when their rundown house turns into a daycare every saturday  - robin (puck), 7, 1st grade, they love him Marital Status: single Significant Other/s: changes frequently (but who has time for commitment when you barely have time for yourself?) Children: none (unable to think about children when he’s already basically taking of three.) Other Relatives: an aunt who lives in chicago, a grandmother somewhere in northern california, an uncle in incheon (married with kids), grandparents in chuncheon Pets: none (can’t feed a family. obviously can’t feed a pet.) Friends: generally has a lot of friends because he’s way too outgoing and obnoxious for his and everyone’s own good; however, he’s picky when it comes to people he wants to keep a constant figure in his life. - bob kim (a barista from the usual cafe he goes to for coffee runs; he still wonders if that’s his real name; regardless, he still has a crush on bob) - sylvan carter (a barista from the same cafe; bob’s best friend and wingman; in love with terry, but terry doesn’t know nor does he care; terry likes him enough but can never get his name right.) - charlotte ‘charlie’ lee (his baby who he adores so much and will do anything for, including buying charlie cake with what’s left of his money) - aiden kwon (he’s only friends with aiden because aiden is friends with charlie; and also terry knows aiden likes charlie so there’s that.) - kiel sang (a non-blood related twin; both their existence essentially defies any known laws of metaphysics - but their whole relationship is something We Don’t Talk About) Enemies: gets into a lot of petty fist fights, but doesn’t really make lifelong enemies; he probably even fucked one of the people who beat him up at one point. Ethnicity: korean Religion: agnostic (or whatever) Beliefs: he believes in a higher being, but not necessarily a god. he thinks there are probably multiple gods out there making bets and just watching people get fucked over. he still prays sometimes, but he doesn’t tell anyone that. Superstitions: he sticks bills onto every mirror in the house during new year on the off chance that they can earn more money that year. julie and ty have been helping him for the last six years. it doesn’t hurt to try. that’s basically it. Diction/Accent: his southern californian accent is indistinguishable unless he says certain words. he’s also a better english speaker, so he often mispronounces korean words.

SCHOOL/WORK/HOME

Education: public school (primary and secondary); college: verse-dependent, on a cadet scholarship // kookmin university (achieved admission scholarship as a freshman) / santa barbara city college (under financial aid - federal work study) Degree(s): working on his bachelor’s degree in broadcast journalism Occupation: broadcasting student-intern for a tv & radio studio in the morning, mini-mart employee by afternoon night Own or Rent: own; his family owns their own borderline dilapidated house, originally owned by an aunt who moved to chicago. Living Space: cramped; it’s not small in its entirety, but with seven people living together in a two-story, two-bathroom (upstairs has a toilet and a shower, downstairs only has a toilet), four-bedroom house, it’s going to get pretty cramped. terry shares a bedroom with two brothers, lance and tybalt; julie shares a bedroom with their youngest, puck; tanya gets her own room because she damn well deserves it; their dad has his own room, but he’s never around so it’s basically an empty space with a bed. Work Space: the mini-mart isn’t a large place, but it does hold necessary items like basic consumable items and toiletries, which is why they have a lot regulars customers, mostly people who live nearby. the studio is a relatively large media conglomerate. his internship is in the main headquarters which houses multiple enterprises. Main Mode of Transport: walking because it’s free; sometimes the bus or subway if they can’t travel on foot; they steal unattended bikes or skateboards when they have to.

PSYCHOLOGY

Fears: failure, losing control, losing any one of his siblings Secrets: no one from his internship and workplace knows he has bipolar disorder or the fact that he’s gay; they keep illegal drugs at home; his family steals shit to survive. IQ: around 130 - typical for a post-graduate student. (fun fact: his older brother’s is around 160, go figure.) Eating Habits: quick eater because he’s always in a hurry, but not a messy one; sometimes eats on the go - he’ll stuff a piece of bread into his mouth anime style and run out the door to make it in time for class Food Preferences: he’ll basically eat anything aside from pickles (when you have no money, you can’t exactly choose what’s in front of you especially when you know your sister worked her ass off to put food on the table); he loves sweets, especially the hard butterscotch candy the mini-mart owners let him get for free. Sleeping Habits: usually sleeps on his stomach. at the end of most days, he just plops on the bed, exhausted. sometimes he forgets to change out of his jeans. when tanya checks up on them, she has to pull the covers over him. Book Preferences: contemporary classics (the little prince, a clockwork orange, the catcher in the rye, lolita, etc.), can quote shakespeare’s plays but prefers his poems, short stories because they’re quick to read since he doesn’t get much time to himself anymore. Music Preferences: alternative rock, indie rock, indie pop - basically music that pumps him up and keeps him awake. Groups or Alone: groups, mostly because he’s used to it, living with seven people and all. he’s also an extrovert, so he really doesn’t mind being around people. he doesn’t mind being alone every now and then, though. Leader or Follower: both. a follower - when tanya’s in, she’s in charge. he was in rotc, so he’s good with following directions. a leader - when tanya and lance are out, he’s in charge. when he was promoted in rotc, he was praised for being a good leader. Planner or Spontaneous: spontaneous. even his college major was a spontaneous, last-minute decision. he’s especially (dangerously) spontaneous when manic. Journal: used to have one - started multiple ones throughout the years - but never had the time and focus to actually fill one out completely; during junior year, his journal served as a mood diary (as suggested by a therapist). he managed to write on it for three months, and then just forgot about it. Hobbies: reading fiction novels, basketball, soccer, hanging out with his siblings, hanging out with kiel his friends, flirting with bob at the cafe, getting drunk, being an asshole. How Do They Relax: what is relaxation he’ll stay at home and read; he also reads a lot during idle hours at the mini-mart, especially if he takes a night shift. if he’s not too tired, he plays basketball. What Excites Them: seeing kiel almost everything excites him when he’s manic. coffee runs get exciting just because he gets to see bob. What Stresses Them: financial issues (but that’s an issue for their whole family),the possibility of not arriving on time and missing deadlines, not being able to earn enough money. Pet Peeves: slow walkers or people who tend to block the fucking way, especially when you’re in a hurry; people who can’t follow simple directions; people who are habitually late and end up making him late; people who take food from his plate without asking; loud whispering because i can fucking hear you; sudden shift in deadlines; simple grammatical errors. Prejudices: people with mental illness are dangerous and a hindrance (as a collective, despite his only experience being with his bipolar mom and alcoholic dad, hence why he refuses to believe he has the same problem). Attitudes: depends on his mood - manic, stable, depressive. when manic, he has no value for his life (and the law). lance had to force him off the roof once. when depressive, he can barely (or doesn’t) get out of bed. he overdosed once. when stable, his general outlook in life is optimistic - because what else can you do in this situation but hope? Obsessions: keeping things in order, getting enough money to feed the kids for a week, kiel Addictions: caffeine (mostly strong cheap-ass coffee, but they’re also stocked up on soda); alcohol and nicotine (not as bad. he smokes a lot, but he’s trying to keep both under control); does weed sometimes; isn’t really into hard drugs. that’s about it. Ambitions: join the marines (formerly), get into west point (on hold because tanya can’t stand the idea; lance is still trying to talk him out of it); else, he’ll apply for a job at the studio after graduation and work his ass off all the way to the top (from a lowly production assistant to scriptwriter/director/producer; hell, he’ll act if he has to; he’ll take what he can get).

OBJECTS KEPT IN

Purse/Bag: he has a messenger sling bag where he keeps his phone (a black nokia lumia his older brother passed on to him), a worn-out wallet with barely any money in it, a secondhand paperback novel, a pack of cigarettes. Wallet: money (or how much of it he has), an old photo of him and all his siblings (from when the youngest was only two years old), an old family photo tucked behind it, school ID, fake IDs Fridge: two milk jugs, a loaf of bread, cans of sodas, beer (lots of it) - that’s its usual content. Medicine Cabinet: mood stabilizers (lamictal), antipsychotics (abilify, zyprexa which he doesn’t use anymore because he overdosed once), aspirin, some pcp/angel dust that tanya doesn’t know about, and some weed lance hides that everyone knows about anyway Glove Compartment: he doesn’t have his own car but his dad’s glove compartment is filled with receipts, unopened letters (mostly bills), drugs, and money he spends in one go. Junk Drawer: literally junk, except he probably has a gun in there somewhere, and a pack of weed he shares with lance. Backpack: handwritten notes on yellow paper, photocopied pages from required textbooks, photocopied notes, scripts that need proofreading and editing, a secondhand novel that changes on a weekly basis, pens that are pretty much out of ink, a pack of cigarettes. Desk: journal (mood diary; just in case he feels like writing in it again), colored pens, pages from scripts he had to edit and proofread, a pack of cigarettes, the laptop he shares with everyone in the house. Clothes Pockets: loose change, mostly. a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and a few small bills stuffed into the pockets of his jeans. 

OTHER

Halloween Costumes: would be easier if they can actually afford already-made costumes. the siblings used to come together to make costumes for julie, tybalt, and puck with whatever items they can salvage. their close neighbors help them out, too. now that they’re older, they just make one for puck. it’s fun for all of them. it’s something they look forward to yearly. Talents: creative writing, especially comedy writing (he doesn’t think so, but lance does); shooting hoops; shooting a pistol or rifle, and getting perfect aim almost every time; showing up at the last minute; balancing at least ten piping hot coffee cups at the same time; forgetting sylvan’s name; being an overall asshole (he’s the best at this) Politics: a liberal, but mostly neutral. he has other shit to worry about. Flaws: mental instability, addiction, pride, self-destructive tendencies, tactlessness, recklessness, impulsivity, always ready to throw punches, noncommittal (relationships) Strengths: fitness, aim (they were taught to shoot a gun in rotc), intellect (fast learner), wit, determination, creativity, resourcefulness, humor, humility, loyalty, never backs down from a fight. Drugs/Alcohol: a lot of alcohol, frequent drug use (mostly just marijuana; the last time he took pcp, he was manic and almost died from both mania and drug hallucinations), prescription drugs (mood stabilizers and antipsychotics he refuses to take). Passwords: phone: 0603 (it’s not a secret), e-mail: b!tch_y0u_th0ught1004 (tybalt has been trying to get into his e-mail even though he just uses it for work purposes); others: 060395 Prized Possessions: doesn’t really have one except for the photo of his siblings tucked in his wallet. Time and Place: february 22, 2016; 10:00pm; seoul, south korea // february 22, 2016; 5:00am; santa barbara, california. Special Places: the beach. the sound of the waves and the feeling of his toes buried beneath the sand relaxes him. back in santa barbara, his mom used to walk them to the beach every weekend because it was close by. Special Memories: when he got promoted from cadet to officer cadet in rotc. when he had chickenpox, tanya stayed up all night to take care of him. when lance first found out he was gay and confronted him. when he finally told tanya he was gay, and she said i know. during his first mood crash, julie would constantly check on him and bring food up to his room. when tybalt won first place during his first science fair. when puck took his first steps, and all five older siblings were there to witness it.