#heres hopinggggg

[hellishgayliath]

Fingers crossed hoping Circe will appear in Hades 2 too 🤞She would definitely fit the whole witchcraft/enchantress theme/vibe that the game has going for it so far (and has also turned people,specifically men, into animals, mostly pigs which Hecate and you can do) so i think Melinoe would prolly get off scotch free while unveiling info about her connection with Ody. BUT ALSO it would be really cool to have her as an opponent since she can conjure monsters or maybe even build up to a fight against Scylla since she was the cause of that.

just ughhh I'm so excited for this game and what they have in store

[audi0med1c]

You’ve convinced me I’ll just wait for the real deal, do you think the update will be by the end of the week ? I’m begging here

I’m hopinggggg to have maybe something ready by end of this long weekend 😬🙃 I have sooooo many diff scenes and snippets and texts semi-written/ created…. Honestly the hardest part is figuring out what order to arrange them all in, which ones to put in the “Lexa POV ch vs the Clarke POV ch”…..

I’m nervous if I post the first chunk that while I’m writing the later chunk I’ll realize I really wanted to slip something in a diff order or add something hence why I’m TRYING to hold them to do together or in larger chunks if possible bc the summer is kinda told jumping around and just popping in for certain scenes. (Think of the FF mode of High infidelity chapter but with actual scenes too btwn texts and social posts as we cover like 4 maybe 5mo of time)

[monk-of-meditation]

I choose to be silly. Earnestly. I don't force it, I just don't suppress it. And it sucks that, while this hellsite cheers in raucous fervor in support of the silliness, but the reality is that IRL people aren't in that mindset. Even people on here have the best of intentions, but aren't in that headspace in the real situation; their perspective is focused on something else. I know there are those people here because I am one of those people. It's something I obsessively try to control but often fail.

I digress. I actually do choose silliness, not just in a fun tumblr way. Even when I'm alone. Especially when I'm alone. My real life experience is arriving at a situation and my brain arrives at the state:

With frustration, "Here's hoping that thing doesn't fuck everything up."

With silliness, in a ridiculous sing-songy voice: "🎼 Here's 🎶hopinggggg that 🎵thiiiing doesn't fuck 🎵everything🎶🎶🎶...up!"

The first one reinforces the neural pathways of frustration. of treating this minor everyday situation as something that is pass/fail. It leaves me frustrated that the situation is occurring in the first place. It has fucked up my life.

The second reinforces different neural pathways. Whimsical ones. Pathways that treat the situation as something results in an outcome that be either way; that it will pass. It will either end out "yaaay! ~^_^~" or "poopy! :'-(". Life will go on.

Maybe it's similar to people who say "think positive!" My brain doesn't think positive. The pathways are atrophied. It takes work - a ton of work - just to use them at all. It's not a feasible replacement and forcing it on people like me is just toxic.

So I'm silly! Silly comes natural. Silly often comes more natural than serious. It makes life lighthearted, but leaves room for messes. It's not a blanket choice to be used in every situation like people treat toxic positivity. But for the majority of everyday life, it suffices.

Silly doesn't mean obnoxious. Unfortunately I still have to regulate the presentation of silliness and the timing. But I can be silly in public! If I drop my insurance card at the doctor's office, I don't chastise myself for the mistake, like my brain wants to do. I do something like "oh monk you silly!" and do a little dance, shake my hips a little, as I bend down to pick it up.

This ended out being way longer than I thought it'd be and I went off on tangents, but maybe this will resonate with other silly people. My entire point of this post falls under the notion: be yourself. If you are silly, be silly. You silly boi.

[thisultraviolet]

I'LL LEAVE MY WINDOW OPENNN

CAUSE I'M TOO TIRED TONIGHT FOR ALL THESE GAAAAAAAMES

JUST KNOW I'M RI-I-I-I-IGHT HERE HOPINGGGGG

THAT YOU'LL COME IN WITH THE RAINNNNNNN

[undertakerbarbie]

j o b i n t e r v i e wwww at twoooo here’s fucking hopinggggg

[tohru-honda]

Have they confirmed that uo is still with him in Another? Because I remember last season of furuba there was no uo children in Another yet and I'm kinda still like hopinggggg cuz 😒😒😒

The ending of Furuba implies that she is, I believe? They go out to live together in some countryside and that’s as much as we hear of their future. I haven’t completed reading Another so forgive me for not having a clear answer here. But yeah as far as children go, they don’t have any. At least, not any we see to prove that they do have kids

[strawberryspeachy]

The only reason “cleaning is therapeutic” is that it distracts me. I’m still suicidal. But so long as there’s a bunch of shit that needs done - my brain is preoccupied

Tbh I’d rather all the work was done so I could sit here and cry and daydream about slitting my wrists

My house. is worse than google images of condemned houses. My family. Is in the highest percentile of hoarders. The house is almost 300 years old and the dust will never go away. It’s build sturdy which is the only reason it’s still standing because the aestestetics have been falling apart since before we moved in when I was 5.

I spent 2 weeks a couple months ago cleaning my moms room over and over and over again

My mom walked around spilling whatever drink she had in her hand all day long. I’m the only one that cleaned or threw stuff away. The puppy ripped up stuff. My grandfathers barn cats pissed and shit and threw up everywhere and he tracks all the literal shit around the house.

While I was away at college, an inch this of literal hardened shit formed in the kitchen and dining room on floors that can be mopped (my moms dementia stopped her from cleaning and she was the one that kept this from happening by cleaning every day)

I cleaned it up. I cleaned the whole house. There away boxes and old mail and sweeped up trash. Digged molded food from the bottoms of stuff and sweeped down the cobwebs (the worst) I scraped the spots the cats went to the bathroom when the literboxes were full and took out litter boxes that hadn’t been changed in months.

I scrubbed the spilled juices and food off of the stove and microwave and counter and fridge.

My family - annoyed not appreciative - just have things to complain about and they continued their errorts or keeping the house a habitat only comfortable to spider and snakes and rats and insects.

Every few months when the house gets too much and it stresses me out to even leave my room - I do all of that again.

Back to my mom spilling stuff - she did that all over the house and a few months ago I had to scrap from the hallway from the dining room to the living room to the hallway to the stairs and the stairs and the hallway upstairs and the bathroom. I had to scrape. A combination of shit and trash and EVERYTHING. From the entire house. ON TOP OF what I mentioned before.

Then I tried to make mom moms room habitable which was an uphill battle - cause every night that I would clean - she would spend the whole day destroying it again. After two weeks I slightly won the battle - and gave up. It was clean enough that I decided to stop. Her dementia makes her EVENE MORE OF A HOARDER cause instead of stuff she fee sentimental attachment to - she hoards EVERYTHING in sight - including trash. She yelled at and pushed me over trashhhhh

That she washes (dumps water on) and hides (creating mold)

Her room had that layer I scraped off of the whole house AND DESPITE ME ASKING MY FAMILY FOR TWO WEEKS TO JUSTTTTTTTTT JUSTTTT clean that so I can stop smelling shit all day long. That I feel having done it for the WHOLE house was enough. Please. Someone else. Scrap the floor. I still just scraped the damn floor

The room of the worst hoarder in the world. The woman who made the house this way. The woman who yelled at my mom for cleaning the whole time we’ve lived her (and me as well) and would deliberately trash any clean spot. Who taught her son to follow in her poopy footsteps. The woman whose car had so much mail and junk in it that I - a 4’5 tiny child - could not fit in it to sit. That woman. Her room. Her giant room. That she spent the past 60 years collecting objects in. That’s where my uncle decided to put my mom after her fall.

I helped them clean that damn room with mummified rats and god knows what else (Well me. I know. It’s too much to list) I cleaned half that damn room hopinggggg that they’d come help me clean the rest of the house afterwards (I’m silly. As iffff) I cleaned half of it and mopped the floors and walls and ceiling and painted it and put cement down on the one spot and sparkled the holes.

For the past two weeks I’ve been cleaning that room and cleaning the attick (another atrocious spot that had accumulated 80 years worth of stuff and NO THIS IS NOT AN EXAGGERATION if anything - that’s underestimating)

Also two closets.

And my moms room AGAIN

There is a point. That one gets sick of cleaning. That point passed when I was like 15. But but. How many weeks can you clean and arrange and plan and *screams SCREAMS***

Well now my room. Where I spend most of my time. In my comfortable bed. The smallest room in the house. Jam packed with all my belongings so my mom wouldn’t take and ruin them. I now have the chance to make it comfortable.

My mom moved downstairs - I could put this giant heavy ass bulky furniture in her room! I never wanted this furniture. The demon woman forced me to take it because her friend didn’t wanna throw it away and she wanted me light small furniture.

I can move it out so I can have room to actually move!

And I can move me bed back to the corner now that my grandfather moved downstairs so is loud tv won’t blare in my ears anymore (actually he gave that tv to me~) so I also have a big tv!

But I gotta clean my moms room. Wash the floor and the walls and the ceiling. Then take all my stuff out of the heavy furniture so I can MAYBEEE (probably need help) push it into the other room. And then re put my stuff back on and in them. And then. I gotta sparkle my room. We have it. So I can take the tape off of all the holes in my room and put real wall materials on them! And maybe. Rats and bugs won’t be able to push themselves through them YES THIS IS HOW I LIVE! I CLAP AND YELL AT RATS TO STOP TRUING TO COM THROUGH THE TAPE ON MY WALL AND HAVE A PANIC ATTACK BECAUSE I HEAR SOMETHING CREEPING ITS WAY THOUGH THINKING ITS A WOLF SPIDER AND BEING RELEIVED WHEN ITS A GIANT BEETLE.

and then I gotta find a new set up for my lamp cause right now I can only see Well because the light bounces off my mirror (which is held to the wall with tape through 10 year olds mes very hard determination to make is stay)

So gotta figure out how to put mirrors (which I may need more of) and my lamp (which I may need a taller one of or install a shelf)

And I gotta wash the blankets under my bed with level my bed since my room will one day fall into the dining room. And I gotta wash my curtains. And figure out where to put the tv so that there’s not a glare

I just killed the 11th mosquito in a row tonight and went to wash my hands AGAIN cause all the screens in the house are broken ANOTHER THING and my family keeps opening all the doors and the mosquitos all come to my room and feast on me.

I just put a lock on my moms door so the cats can’t get in there and I installed a fense so I can lock the not house broken puppy in a room where when he shits on the floor - it’s easier to clean up (I tried to train him but it’s hard when you’re the only one that cares when he doesn’t listen)

I have to put two more gates up to keep him in there

And I have to install three locks in my moms room since she really wants to get out of there and I canttttt sit in the room with her all day every day. But she can’t get out and I gotta get a bad of some sort so she can’t go up the stairs in the there when no ones in ther and fall cause she does things REALLY FAST

I’ve spent 100 bucks on gas on the past month driving back and forth to see my mom. They’re working on EVERY. ROAD. AROUND. MY HOUSE.

More cabinets still need cleaned out and furniture needs moved. And my mom needs appointments made

And I gotta find ankle black boots with grips on the bottom and an arch so they don’t hurt my feet but a very short heel to meet my haunt jobs criteria - FOR UNDER 20 BUCKS BECAUSE IM BROKE

And I still need to fucking fill out applications. To more jobs. Which I’ve been doing for 3 years. And just got rejected from a fucking job I was more than qualified for and was actually excited to do.

Oh and I have to do a shit ton of laundry. And clean my car. And clean the chair I have for when I sit with my mom. Actually organize stuff...

Oh yea. And also. Summer is my favorite season... and I kinda wanted... to...enjoy it????? A bit more???? Before the dreaded winter and depressing holidays come.

Today’s my birthday. Happy fucking birthday to me.

Now to go pack away the soup I made thinking anyone would eat it. Lol. Nah. They only eat stuff that I don’t want to share. 😩

Oh. Anddddd I gotta make a toy for my mom to amuse herself with...

[kimmers99]

Wide Eyes

I’m a big believer in the whole ‘when it rains it pours’ concept. Lately it’s been pouring, but not in a good way. I’m HOPING, hoping that my luck is about to change. I am 99% certain something good is finally about to happen which will HOPEFULLY set off a chain off goodness. Yeeeeaaaaboiiii here’s hopinggggg