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bananayuyu · 9 months ago

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Cabin Fever [part 2]

Pairing: Yunho x f reader

Genre: fluff and smut

Word count: 9.7k

Summary: The third day of your trip brings a storm, and even more cramps. You try to navigate the day the best you can, but really you just need to be taken care of, in the way it matters most.

Warnings: MDNI, smut, fingering, period sex, use of a condom, reader has really bad cramps again, some mxm (Seonghwa and Hongjoong)

A/n: I have had such a fun time writing this part, thank you all for the response on part 1! I am falling in love with this cozy world and wish I could live in it for real. Thank you so much to the anon who requested a part 2! I hope you all enjoy <3

Series Masterlist | Next Part -> | Read it on ao3

Taglist: @pautiny27 @kierraperkins3 @yoonjikim @luvbit3z @pancake-freckle

You stretch over to find your phone, unhooking it from its charging cable. The light is dim through the window, the room looks almost hazy. Squinting at the screen, you see a missed text from Seonghwa asking if you're doing okay, sent an hour ago.

"It's almost 11:30, we should really get up," you yawn, poking Yunho in the ribs to get his attention. He has once again wrapped himself around you tightly, face buried in your hair, and you're not sure if he's even awake.

"No," he groans, his voice low and gravely. It sends a shudder through you, and all of the feelings from last night surface again. You can already feel the pains starting in your lower abdomen, the muscles cramping. You wish it could be night already and he could be making you feel good again.

"We can't just stay in here all day," you say, much as you sort of want to. But you also don't want to waste a day of your time with all of your other friends. Yunho just groans, not wanting to agree with you but knowing you're right. He's just so asleep still, so in the haze of sleeping next to you. He really just wants to stay like this, forever.

"Okay, well, I really have to pee," you say, giggling, peeling yourself off of him. He lets out a small sound of disappointment but doesn't stop you. You turn around and see his tousled hair, his puffy, sleepy eyes. You lean down and place a quick kiss on his temple before making your way to the bathroom, another pad in hand.

The cramps hit you again when you're sat on the toilet, and you double over, feeling light-headed. It doesn't seem like you're bleeding quite as hard as yesterday but you still feel awful, despite all of the restful sleep you got. You gingerly clean yourself up, holding onto the counter as you stand, pausing for a moment so you don't pass out. You sigh, trying not to feel the frustration. But it's hard not to.

When you open the door you are met with Yunho, his messy hair now covered up by his hoodie, his eyes still very sleepy.

"Sorry for taking so long," you say, assuming he really needed to pee. You aren't paying attention, the cramps overwhelming you.

"Hey, look," he says as you start walking past. When you do finally look back you see that he's brought you pain meds and a glass of water. Your face softens immediately.

"Oh, thank you," you say, taking them immediately.

"Are they bad today?" he asks, a hand on your cheek. You just nod. "Go lay down then."

"I wanna hang out with everyone, though," you pout, looking at the floor.

"Well, go lay in the living room then," he suggests.

"Okay," you mumble, heading that way with your glass of water in hand. He watches you walk away, an obvious discomfort and weakness in your body, and it makes his chest hurt. When you were friends in high school he really only saw you on your good days, when you were feeling okay. It wasn't until living with you that he really saw the worst of everything, the truth of your health issues. You never spoke of them often, never truly explained it to him. Living together had forced you to, and when he showed himself to be genuinely good at caring for you, you'd let him in a bit more. He knew you didn't like the idea of people seeing you at your sickest. He never gave much thought to the idea when he was younger, that some people's bodies are wracked with issues from the start, that they never get to know what it's like to be able to rely on your body to carry you through everything. You were so young; though you were the same age as most of the rest of the friend group, you'd always been seen as the baby. He certainly always thought of you as small, in need of protection. He didn't want to tell you that, because he knew you'd hate the idea. It didn't help that you were smarter than most of them, when it came to the practical and academic aspects of life. You were far more mature in many ways. But they had the healthy bodies; they were the ones who were able to move out at eighteen, to become financially independent. It would take you many more years, and two very supportive friends to live with you, before you could move out.

When you make it to the living room you plop down next to Ari and San, snuggling under a blanket. The cabin was colder than you expected, the sky outside still dark.

"Has it been like that all morning?" you ask Ari, staring out the window.

"It was actually raining for a while earlier, it just stopped maybe thirty minutes ago."

"Oh really? No wonder I slept in so long," you reply, sighing into the warmth of your blanket.

"Are you doing okay?" she asks.

"Yeah, but I still feel like crap," you say, frowning. Sipping your water you try to relax, try to get your mind away from how terrible your lower abdomen feels.

"Do you need any pain meds?" she asks you, her face showing obvious concern. Even San is turned towards you and looking worried.

"No, no, I just took some. Thank you though," you respond, squeezing her hand. "I should probably eat something though, I'm starving."

"I think Seonghwa and Hongjoong are making some lunch, I'll go get you some," San replies, standing up.

"Oh, you don't have to," you start, taken aback by the kindness of this almost total stranger. But he walks that way anyway, not stopping at your words.

"He's so freaking nice, what the hell," you say to Ari.

"I know," she laughs, shaking her head. "I almost can't believe it's real sometimes."

"Men just aren't usually like that," you say, and right then Yunho crosses the room, making brief eye contact with you. He heads towards the kitchen, looking like his mind is set on something.

"The guys in our friend group are," she replies.

"Well, that's true. I guess I should say, straight men aren't usually like that, especially if they aren't romantically interested in you," you clarify. "At least not in my experience in the world, and I barely interact with men or go out in public."

"I know, the amount of horrifying behavior I saw at college is crazy. And even now still at my work. I know so many people tried to warn me to be careful around men when I was growing up, but I did not realize just how scary it would be to be in the adult world and have a uterus," she replies. She looks at you, earnestly; how nice it is to have another girl in your group, who understands what it is to exist in the world in your bodies.

"Uteruses should be banned," you say, placing a hand on your stomach. "This thing needs to get the hell out of my body."

Ari laughs, the bright sound raising your spirits. "I would have taken it out for you myself years ago, if I could," she laughs, resting her head on your shoulder.

"What just, reached up inside and like, pulled it out?" you laugh.

"Girl, your mind goes to the strangest places. Now I can't get that visual out of my head," she laughs, a hand coming to rest over her eyes.

"I wish I could do it myself," you reply, "just like-" you reach your hand down and spread your legs, miming the action; you both break into giggles.

"What was that?" Yunho asks as he sits down next to you, a cup of tea in hand. He holds it out towards you, careful to hand you the handle so you don't burn your hands.

"Y/n just being her usual self," Ari replied, still laughing. Yunho just looked confused, sipping at his own cup of coffee.

"I was showing her how I'd remove my uterus, if I could. I wish someone could just reach up in there and take it out," you clarify.

"You should make Yunho do it, he's got big hands," she says.

"Ari!" you shriek, crumpling into a heap of laughter with her. Yunho's ears go red, and he clears his throat to try to calm himself.

"You two are something else," he says, turning away, looking for anyone else to make conversation with.

"Wait, did Yunho make you that cup of tea?" Ari asked you, and at the mention of his name his attention stayed put.

"Yeah," you reply, not sure why she's interested. "He makes me and Hwa tea and coffee like all the time."

"That's sweet. See, we're so lucky to have these boys. He's the perfect example of a straight man who has no romantic interest in you, but still takes care of you."

You know she means it earnestly, from the way a small smile creeps onto her lips, making her eyes crinkle at the corners. But you and Yunho both stop dead in your tracks, your throats simultaneously going dry.

"Yeah, true," you say, trying to be normal. Like this morning, when Seonghwa found you in bed together. The words come out rough and you try to swallow, but it hurts and your eyes squeeze shut for a moment. You take another sip of your tea, trying to appear calm.

"What, Yunho, did I say something weird?" Ari asks, and you look over to see his stony face, his eyes looking almost distant. Something about it makes your heart drop for a moment, and you don't know why. Something in you begs for him to act normal too, but you realize there's no point. No point in pretending like nothing happened, even if you don't know what it means.

"I need to tell you something," you whisper to Ari, your face just inches from her ear. She leans even closer, clearly excited by your tone. You drop your volume even lower, putting your hand over your mouth to block the sound from going anywhere else. "Last night he like, fingered me."

"What?!" she asks in a whisper, her eyes going wide with excitement.

"Shh, please keep your face normal," you beg her, knowing that isn't possibly going to happen. But you don't want everyone to find out this very second, you'd like it to stay between the two of you. Ari does her best to still her face, knowing you don't want to draw attention. At least it's fairly normal, for the two of you to share secrets. The boys have always respected when you two say something is just for your ears.

"Yeah I was like, hurting last night and he like, made me feel better," you whisper, you both breaking out into giggles.

"Girl," she says, clearly wanting you to continue.

"I'll tell you everything once there's not like twenty people in the room with us," you say, a goofy smile not leaving your face.

"Aww," she says poking your cheek, and you swat her hand away, jokingly rolling your eyes. Ari keeps looking between the two of you, observing the way his body seems drawn towards you even as he sits a bit away, his legs stretching out to meet yours. She has so many questions, seeing as you'd never mentioned having a crush on him. His crush on you had been obvious to her for a while, but she'd never really mentioned it. It always seemed that people in the group had crushes from time to time, due to everyone's closeness. But sometimes they passed, sometimes they came to nothing; sometimes those crushes seemed like little more than someone mistaking their strong love and affection as something more. It was one of the reasons your group of friends had stayed close for so long; no one really forced closeness or forced information out of one another. Everyone let each other be, and let the cards fall where they may. Sometimes she felt like it made you less close than you could be. But she knew it also meant no one felt stepped on or smothered.

***

After lunch was served the weather had cleared a bit, and Jongho suggested that everyone play a game of basketball out on the small court to the south of the cabin. Not one of you had plans for the day, and with the way the weather was behaving that was definitely a good thing. You and Ari laid on the couch together, barely overhearing the conversation unfolding. You knew even if you wanted to you couldn't go and play, and the warmth of the couch was a lifesaver against the damp coolness in the air. The rain was not unusual for the time of year, but you swore it never had been this cold during your cabin trips.

"Will you stay inside with me?" you asked her.

"Of course. I wouldn't leave you alone in here. Also, I don't really feel like getting hurt today. You know how competitive they all get," she laughs, holding up her arm and showing you a large cut on the underside.

"My god, what's that from?" you ask.

"Wooyoung pushed me when we were playing waterpolo by the falls, and I scraped my arm on one of the rocks."

"Of course it was him," you chuckle, taking a closer look. "Did you wash it out yesterday?"

"It's not really that deep, but yeah. I'm sure it'll heal quick. I just really don't feel like playing basketball on a wet, slick court."

"And it's so cold, I don't know why they feel like going outside."

"It's not that cold," she says, looking at you confused.

"Wait, really?" you ask. She shakes her head. "Ok well for some reason, I'm freezing."

"One sec," she says, getting up and taking a blanket from the other side of the bed. "Y/n is cold," she says to the group, pointing to you all curled up in your one blanket. Everyone grabs their remaining blankets and one by one, layer them on you.

"This is too much," you whine, but you can't deny you like the attention. You really appreciate the way they all joke around with you; it always makes you feel better.

When all of the boys headed out to play, you finally got a chance to tell Ari everything.

"Your periods are still that bad?" Ari asks you when you tell her how you were feeling the previous night. "You hardly ever mention it anymore."

"It's just, so normal at this point. I guess. I don't know, you know it isn't fun to talk about. Plus this one really has been extra bad. I haven't had one this bad in a while," you respond.

"Well I'm glad he was there to comfort you. You know you could have told everyone how you were feeling yesterday. You didn't have to pretend like you were fine at dinner."

"I don't know, Wooyoung's cousins are here and so is San, I don't really know any of them," you say.

"Let me assure you, San would not care. And I doubt Woo's cousins would either, I mean we've been around them before, they seem very kind. He wouldn't bring them around you if he thought they'd be weird about something as simple as that. I know Woo acts like he doesn't give a shit about anything, but he really cares about you. I overheard him asking Seonghwa this morning how you've been doing," she replies. You look at her tenderly, thankful she shared it with you. As much as you wish Wooyoung would just ask you, you know it's not his way. It warms your heart to know he cares.

"So, how long have you liked Yunho then?" she asks you.

"Dude, I literally don't know. I don't even know what I feel right now," you sigh, shaking your head at her. "I mean, he was really just helping ease my cramps, cause I basically begged him too. And I get fucking horny on my period, I don't know." You put your head in your hands. "I don't even know what words were coming out of my mouth last night."

"So is it just a sexual thing then?" she asks.

"I'm assuming that's how he feels, I mean he's never said anything to the contrary."

"No, I mean for you," she clarifies.

"I.. I don't know. I don't hook up with people, and he's like, one of my best friends, I-" you cut yourself off with a groan, head spinning. "I'm gonna develop feeling for him and he's not gonna feel the same and we live together and it's gonna be a fucking mess," you blurt out, your mind racing out of control.

"Y/n, that man loves you," Ari says, squeezing your shoulder.

"I know Ari, I'm not saying he'd be an asshole about it. But it would still be so awkward for me, and if you love someone platonically that doesn't just change overni-"

"No, he's in love with you," she cuts you off.

"He's said those words to you?" you ask her, incredulous.

"No, but it's obvious to anyone with eyes," she says. You squint questioningly in her direction, feeling like she's just saying what she thinks you want to hear. "Dude I'm serious, Seonghwa has told me about it, the way he is around you. If he's not in love with you then I don't know what it could be."

"He's dated like multiple people since we've known him though, that doesn't make sense," you reply.

"Not since moving in with you," she says. "Has he ever brought any girls over to hang out with? Or to hook up?"

"No," you say, head still spinning.

"That's not because of like, a house rule or something, right?"

"No, we talked about it, we're all okay with bringing people over. Hwa brings over guys sometimes. Well he did when we first moved in, not really this past year."

"But Yunho never has?" she asks again.

You shake your head. "That doesn't mean anything, Ari. He's barely even spoken to me this morning, anyway. He doesn't seem like he's in love. Seems like normal Yunho to me."

"He brought you tea," she says, smirking.

"Oh my god, he always does that," you say, rolling your eyes and also smiling. "I- I don't know how to feel."

"Would you do it again?" she asks. You nod. "Do you like, really really want to do it again?" she continues, making you laugh.

"Yeah," you say, hiding your face in your hands.

"Well, at least you know that. Don't stress about it," she says. "It can just be a fun little thing, it doesn't have to be life changing."

You sigh, soaking in her words. You know what she's saying is absolutely right; it's the kind of advice you'd probably be giving her if the tables were turned. But something about your night with Yunho meaning so little doesn't sit right with you.

"Can you please not tell anyone, not even San? For right now, I don't know what Yunho wants to say," you plead.

"Of course, you don't have to worry about that. I don't share things with San just cause he's my boyfriend, I don't think that's fair to my friends," she responds, hugging you.

"I'm so thankful you're here," you say, sighing comfortingly into her embrace.

"Me too. I love them all but they can be a lot," she says, and you both chuckle. Tucked into your layers of blankets you feel warm and cozy, and your chest feels lighter having told someone about your previous night.

***

Close to 3pm, the storm rolls back in to the area; the winds pick up, the clouds darken, and suddenly rain is pouring down. It sounds like the roof of the cabin is being repeatedly pelted with golfballs, the dull sound surprisingly loud. Suddenly all of the boys are sprinting back inside, their wet shoes squeaking on the tile of the kitchen floor. All of them are thoroughly soaked, their hair sticking to their foreheads, clothes stuck to their bodies. They tumble in one after the other, Wooyoung the last to make it in, and you hear his scream all the way from outside. When they finally get inside they all start undressing, their clothes heavy and cold.

"Didn't realize we were staying at a strip club," Ari says, making you laugh. You know they're just uncomfortable, but you can't help but stare at Yunho as he disrobes, his light blue shirt dripping on him as he heaves it over his head. You don't really see him shirtless like this, even though you live together. He's not one for walking around like that. You'd forgotten how broad he really was, how strong his shoulders are. As he goes to ring out his shirt in the sink you see his tricep flex, and the smooth muscles of his back as well. He's tall and lanky, but you'd forgotten just how muscular he was too.

"You're kind of gawking, just so you know," Ari whispers in your ear, making you jump.

"Oh my god, I'm gross," you groan, burrowing your head in her shoulder.

"No not gross, not gross at all. Fuck, every time San is shirtless I want him to fuck me immediately." You glance over at Ari's boyfriend, already anticipating the muscles you're about to see. You could tell even when he was clothed how built he was.

"How often is at the gym?" you ask.

"Basically every day. He can like, easily pick me up and throw me around. And I'm not exactly the lightest person in the world."

"If that's not everyone's dream," you say, giggling.

"Can't Yunho carry you?" she asks.

"Yeah but I'm basically like a sickly little worm, it's not that hard. Even Hwa can lift me," you laugh,

"Okay, well, he can still lift you. And how big is your height difference?"

You just smile at her question, knowing you are blushing.

"God, if we aren't the most simple of women," she laughs.

"No no, I'll have you know I'm very full of logic and feminism and I do not care about muscles, or height, or anything of the sort. Never in my wildest dreams have I thought about how tall he is in comparison to me and gotten all hot and bothered about it," you joke, your blush having moved to your cheeks too.

"So you have thought about him like that!" she exclaims.

"Keep it down!" you chide, when you see Seonghwa shoot a look over at the two of you.

"Sorry, sorry," she laughs, pouting at you. "What are you looking at?" she says to Seonghwa, who rolls his eyes.

***

After the boys had changed and dried off, Wooyoung insisted that everyone watched a scary movie. You were all stuck inside, and everyone had already spent the morning talking and catching up.

"'It matches the vibe of the storm," he said. "It'll be so fun," he laughed, smirking in your direction. He knew how you couldn't handle jump scares and didn't like gore. He promised you the movie he'd selected didn't have either.

"It's more like, a psychological thriller, you know? It's really fun. Set in a cabin in the woods too."

"Okay, fine," you replied, hoping he was telling the truth.

He was, in fact, lying. You found that out about twenty minutes later.

The loud bang made you jump, causing you to launch sideways and grab onto the closest thing to you. It happened to be Yunho's arm.

When everyone sat down, Yunho sat himself right next to you, but didn't say a word. Everyone was chatting, the room filled with chaos as they came down from the adrenaline rush the storm had caused. Ari got up to sit with San and help him dry off, and when Yunho saw you sitting alone he was almost thankful. He didn't know why, but everything Ari had said earlier made him feel almost jumpy. He had seen the two of you giggling and whispering to each other, and felt like something was happening that he didn't understand. When he approached you your face looked distant, and he almost worried you didn't want him there, that you would have preferred her. He sat with his arm around the back of the couch behind you. But when you didn't lean into him at all, didn't seem comfortable with it, he pulled it back down to his side.

"Woo, you promised me!" you whisper yelled after you jumped, your grip on Yunho so strong it almost hurt. You felt so embarrassed at how easily scared you were.

"That wasn't even a jump scare, just a loud sound," Yunho said, and the room chuckled. You frowned, pulling yourself away from him. You weren't sure why you were so sensitive, but what he said made you feel small. And not in a good way.

Everyone else's attention was back on the movie in a second, but Yunho couldn't stop looking at you and your sullen face.

"Hey, I'm sorry," he whispered, leaning ever so slightly towards you. "Come here," he said, moving his arm around your shoulders this time, gently pulling you towards him. You stuffed your head into his chest, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. You weren't sure if you even wanted his comfort. You completely tuned out the movie, closing your eyes. You mind raced with thoughts from the day, and you suddenly realized you hadn't had a chance to talk to Seonghwa. You had wanted to assure him of what was happening, because he lived with you both. You didn't want him worried that you and Yunho had been keeping something from him, sneaking around behind his back. But as you peaked around the room to find his face, you didn't see him anywhere. You felt confused, and exhausted, and suddenly realized how cold you were again. You tried to tuck yourself into the blankets more but it just wasn't enough, so finally you decided to go grab Yunho's hoodie from the library. Maybe one more layer would help.

You slowly crawl your way out of the room, careful not to block anyone's view of the TV. When you finally stand up you're at the edge of the very short hallway that leads to the library. As you stand you notice how dark the sky looks. This window faces out towards the fire pit, and sits where the cabin is directly under a few trees and your view is limited. Still, the view is beautiful. The rain has become more gentle now, and the soft sound soothes you as you look out across the land splattered with greenery. The plants, the trees, they're the reason you really like being out here. You hope that today's the last day you'll have to spend inside, nursing your body. Some movement in your periferral vision catches your eye, and you sweep your gaze back towards the fire pit and the ring of trees that surrounds it. Suddenly you realize why you couldn't find Seonghwa earlier.

Outside, on a lounging chair just to the left of the fire pit, Seonghwa and Hongjoong are kissing. They must have snuck out while the rest of you were occupied with the movie, you realize. You aren't sure how you missed them at first, but in the darkness of the storm and shadow of the trees they almost blended into the landscape. Seonghwa is sat against he back of the chair and Hongjoong is over him, a hand on Seonghwa's thigh. You see him move that hand to pull on Seonghwa's silky black hair, the kiss clearly passionate, heated. The rain patters down around them, but in the cover of the trees they don't look soaked. They certainly don't look bothered. You can't tell, really, from this far away. You shouldn't be trying to look that hard, anyway. You try to tell yourself that. But you're mesmerized, stuck to the spot. You feel overcome with how beautiful they both are.

Soon they're tugging at each other's shirts, and you can tell now from the way they take them off that they must pretty damp. In the struggle you see Hongjoong's muscular back and arms; Seonghwa's face is the picture of lust, his hands moving down quickly to reach inside Hongjoong's pants and start stroking him. They're kissing again, Seonghwa's lean chest heaving, Hongjoong grabbing his legs to wrap them around himself. Tangled together they look like a perfectly choreographed ballet, like they both know exactly where the other is headed. You see Hongjoong's hips start to buck, his mouth moving down to Seonghwa's ear, then neck, his iron grip on Seonghwa's thigh leaving a mark you can see all the way from the window. Seeing the red mark brings a heat to your cheeks; the image of your porcelain doll of a friend being marked up by such a muscular man is not something you thought you'd ever witness. Now that you have, you can't help but think they're perfect together. Suddenly Hongjoong is sitting back, his hands pulling on the band of Seonghwa's shorts and throwing them aside, and you see how hard Seonghwa is, his movements showing how obviously needy he is.

Fuck, I really should stop watching them, you think. You'd seen them both naked before, it's not like your friend group was uncomfortable with much. But this was obviously different, and the way your body was feeling while you witnessed it made you feel a confused and a little guilty. Still, you could not pull yourself away, as you saw Hongjoong lean down over Seonghwa and say something, and Seonghwa's lips curl up in a smile, his head turning to the side as he grabbed onto Hongjoong's arm. They looked so, so in love. With Seonghwa's legs spread Hongjoong reached down, his hand moving between his cheeks, moving in a way you could not make out from your distance. Seonghwa's head fell back in obvious pleasure, and his back arched slightly showing off his lean abdomen. Hongjoong moved his head down to suck on one of his nipples, making Hwa's back arch even further and his mouth fall open. He looked so completely content in such a vulnerable state, and it made your heart ache with happiness. In all of the conversations you'd had with him over the years, you knew he always felt so self-conscious in these situations. It was always shocking to you, given just how beautiful he was. He got propositioned out in public more than anyone in your group, and had to continually turn people down given the industry he worked in. But all of that attention felt uncomfortable to him, usually, and you knew that. To see him so unabashedly open with someone was a rare sight.

Hongjoong's hand moves up and then you see, a tiny glint of something metal in his hand. It must have been a plug Seonghwa had inside himself already. When had he put that in? It must have been after the game, so before the movie? When did he even have the time? You can't stop watching the way Hongjoong lines himself up, stroking a hand through Seonghwa's hair again, finally pushing himself in ever so slowly. The plug sits next to them on the lounging chair, and you swear the gem on the end twinkles at you. He starts thrusting slowly, kissing Seonghwa's cheek, the rain starting to pick up again. It all feels so cinematic, like it couldn't have been more perf-

"What are you looking at?" Yunho whispers into your ear, sliding up behind you. You jump, spinning away from the window and covering your eyes, your elbow hitting him in the ribs.

"Oh god, ow," he says, grabbing his side.

"You scared me," you pout, your head feeling full of molasses from all of the feelings you are having.

"I whispered," he replied. "Why are you so jumpy, are you okay? Why did you you leave the couch?"

"I was cold, I was gonna grab your hoodie. But then, the window, you know, it was pretty outside with the storm and stuff," you reply, averting your eyes.

"Seems like my hoodie is in danger of being re-homed," he replies. He's trying to joke around to lighten your mood, which is obviously not good at the moment. Your eyes on the floor make him worried, and you really don't seem yourself. Or rather, you seem like how you are when you aren't feeling well.

"Here, why don't we look out the window together?" he offers, turning you around to face it again, wrapping his arms around you to try to help you feel warm.

"Oh god, Yunho, no," you mumble as he turns you, and you start stepping out of his reach, mortified at what he's about to see. You feel his arms stretch out and his body begin to move with you, but then he halts.

"Oh, that's what you were looking at," he laughs under his breath, making you cringe. You hope he leaves it at that, that he doesn't say anything else. But soon he opens his mouth again. "Oh god, that's crazy," he says, and you look back to see his eyes wide and mouth hanging open. He looks almost horrified, and you wonder for a moment if he's even seeing what you think he's seeing, or if it's something else entirely. With a confused look on your face you scoot towards the window again, to catch a glimpse of whatever has him so shocked.

As soon as your eye line reaches Seonghwa and Hongjoong you too feel a shock, at just how hard Hongjoong is thrusting into him now, his hand on Seonghwa's neck. No longer do the two look like a balletic couple; instead one has clearly submitted to the other. You know from conversations with him that Seonghwa likes being taken like this, or at least has always liked the idea of it. He'd told you many times how he'd never really had any partners he trusted enough to go there with, but that he wished he could. You feel strangely proud of him, as you realize he'd had to have a difficult conversation with Hongjoong to make this happen.

"Yunho, stop," you say, tugging on his arm to pull him into the library with you.

"You saw what I saw, right?" he asks, his voice still low but sounding mildly concerned.

"Yeah, why?" you ask, seeing his hoodie on the corner of the pull out couch and making a bee line for it.

"You just, don't seem concerned," he says.

"Why would I be concerned?" you ask, your eyebrows knitted together. You really don't know why he'd have a problem with the two of them being together, but suddenly you worry there's something about Yunho that you didn't know.

"Hongjoong was being so aggressive with him," he says, voice even softer.

"Oh, Yunho, he-" you cut yourself off, not wanting to overshare. You're so thankful he doesn't have a problem with them for any other reason. "It's not really my place to share but, let's just say I know he likes that. I'm sure he asked for it."

"Well, I guess that makes a lot of sense," he laughs, his relief palpable. You cock your head to the side, looking confused. "Oh you know what I mean," he continues. "Hwa is so professional, pretty, put together all the time. Of course he likes being taken like a whore."

"Yunho, what the fuck," you say, shoving your face in his hoodie to try to cover up your laugh. You can't help finding what he said hilarious, and his read of Seonghwa is completely spot on. But you can't believe the words actually left his lips. "How can you say that about him?"

"You're the one who was standing and watching them for what, five whole minutes? I waited a while to come and check on you," he says, staring you down as you finally put on his hoodie, your hair a mess under the hood.

"God, please don't tell anyone," you groan into your hands. "It's weird, I know, I'm sorry. I just, they seem very compatible, and I'm happy Hwa has found someone like that. I don't know."

"It's not weird, I know you like watching that kind of stuff," he replies.

"I do not, what are you talking about?" you reply, your cheeks feeling warm again.

"Ok I know it's only one example, but remember our school trip senior year? When those people in the hotel across the street were fucking and they left their curtains wide open? You couldn't stop staring."

"I'm never living that down," you sigh.

"There's nothing wrong with doing that, at least I don't think so. If people are fucking in public then they know someone might see. They probably even like the idea," he says, chuckling.

"I'm not a big pervert who reads smut all the time and likes watching people fuck," you pout, hitting him on the arm.

"I know," he murmurs, pulling you into a hug. "I'd still love you if you were, though."

Love. Your heart stops at the word for a moment, and you don't know why. You'd said it to each other thousands, probably tens of thousands of times in the ten years you'd known him. But now it's making you feel like your heart has fallen into your stomach, and you might puke it up. You sag against Yunho, pains wracking through you again. You almost feel relief, at realizing the feeling was just your cramps.

"I don't feel good," you groan into his chest.

"I know, I could tell," he says, rubbing a hand along your back.

"How?" you ask, tensing in anticipation of his answer.

"Cause you're being kind of weird with me today," he sighs out, hugging you even more tightly.

"I'm sorry," you say, having known it would be his answer. It was the thing him and Seonghwa had helped you realize; no matter how much you could hide the physical symptoms of anything, the changes in your personality were always there when you weren't feeling well. And those two, knowing you as well as they did, always picked up on it.

"Do you want to go back out there? Or stay in here?" he asks you.

"I just want to lay in here for a bit, by myself," you say, not wanting to expose him any longer to your sour mood. "I'll come out for dinner, can you let me know when everyone's eating?"

"Of course," he says, lifting you up and placing you on your bed. In the comfort of the library everything feels so intimate, and you tug him down to come lay with you too, for just a second. Wrapped around each other you both sigh, Yunho nuzzling his face into your neck and leaving a gentle kiss. He feels overcome with concern, his heart wanting to stay next to you like this, forever. But you'd said you wanted to lay by yourself. He pulls himself up, tightening the strings of his hoodie slightly and pulling your blanket over your shoulders. As he leaves he walks gently, trying not to make any sound. In the hallway he glances briefly out the window, to see Seonghwa smiling, him and Hongjoong cuddled up together in a gentle embrace.

***

Dinner passes in a blur, your entire body feeling achey and your head starting to hurt. You'd taken your pills, drank water; there was nothing else you could do. When Yunho came to get you you'd almost declined, almost asked him to bring you food in bed. Your bleeding was definitely slowing down, but your body was feeling weaker today, and your mind was all over the place. Throughout dinner you felt like you might start crying at the smallest thing, and you clung onto Seonghwa to keep yourself from doing so. Everyone could tell you weren't feeling well, Yunho and Seonghwa rubbing your back as you sat cross legged at the large coffee table in the living room, slowly sipping at your soup. When Wooyoung brought you the bowl he had leaned down to hug you, seeing just how out of it you were.

"You don't have to stay out here with us if you don't feel well," Seonghwa said, running his hand through your hair. You leaned against him, slowly blinking to try and calm yourself.

"I don't think I can walk right now," you said, your legs hurting terribly.

"I can carry you," Yunho piped up, downing his last bite of food. "Do you want to go lay down again?"

You nodded your head, the light in the room feeling too bright despite how dim it was. You bring your hands up to cover your eyes.

"Ok, let me clean up our dishes and I'll take you to your bed," he said, standing up with your bowl and his plate in hand. When he returned he gently grabbed your hands, moving them around to the back of his neck, and then moving your legs out in front of you, scooped you up in one fluid motion. You rest your head on his chest, burying your face into his hoodie that you're still wearing.

"Feel better, we love you," Ari said, a twinkle in her eye as she watched Yunho carrying you from the room.

"I love you too," you respond weakly. You feel yourself fading, but suddenly your teeth feel too gross to sleep. "Wait, I need to brush my teeth," you tell Yunho, groaning in frustration.

"Okay, no worries," he says, his voice gentle. He walks you to the bathroom and sets you down on the toilet seat, prepping your toothbrush for you, then helps you stand to spit everything out when you're done. "Wait, I need to pee," you say, holding onto his arm tightly. He helps you sit down again, helps take off your pants and panties. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry you have to help me like this," you say, your words nearly slurring together. You're really sounding out of it, and he feels himself in that space he gets in, when you're so broken down and he's the one there to comfort you.

"Shh, it's okay," he says, brushing a tear that fell down your cheek.

"No it's not, I'm a fucking mess," you continue, more tears starting to fall. "Why can't I figure out my damn body, why does it always catch me so off guard? It must be so weird living with me," you cry, everything tumbling out in waves.

"Y/n, listen to me. Everything is okay, I'm gonna get you to bed and you'll feel better tomorrow, I promise. You are not weird to live with, you're wonderful to live with. Are you hearing me?" he asks, moving your face up to make eye contact with him. "How did I get so lucky to know you?"

His kind words only make you cry harder, and you can't stop even as you get up from the toilet and try to steady yourself. He opens the door and picks you up again, carrying you finally to your bed to lay down. In bed your body feels heavy, like you're made of lead. You haven't felt this tired in a while, and you think sleep might envelop you immediately. But the pain radiating down your thighs and up through your stomach is too bad, and you toss and turn, unable to relax as Yunho readies himself for bed.

"Y/n, what do you need?" he asks, seeing your constant movements and pained expression.

"My legs to stop hurting," you mumble. Without even opening your eyes you raise your arms out to grab at him, even though he isn't right there. Your body is moving desperately again, and something about being with him in this room makes you loose all inhibitions. "Please make them stop hurting Yuyu," you plead.

"What would help, baby?" he asks, his body feeling electric. He moves over so you can grab him; he'll follow any request you have, do anything for you.

"Touch me, again, please," you beg, your thighs and pussy aching. Yunho again grabs a towel for you, gently placing it down on your bed and smoothing it out, lifting your hips to move you onto it. You keep making little sounds of desperation, unable to stop yourself. 'I know, I know, just relax baby,' he whispers to you, watching the way your face softens at the pet name. Soon your lower half is entirely naked, and he's massaging your legs, gently brushing past your cunt a few times, making you mewl from neediness. He wants to make you feel better but he also likes seeing you like this, likes hearing you beg for him. He wasn't prepared last night for what it did to him, and he thinks he's probably already addicted to that feeling.

Finally he slowly pushes a finger in, making you moan and sigh, the relief instant. Your reaching out to pull at his face, pulling him in to kiss him hard, your breath mixing as you open your mouth to slide your tongue across his. You moan at the feeling, his tongue wet and hot, making your clit throb. 'More,' you plead, your body feeling even more opened up than the previous night, even more ready to take everything he can give. He slowly adds a second digit, not wanting to hurt you, but he can tell your desperation is high and you're needing to be well and truly fucked. 'More, more,' you almost cry, your cunt clenching hard onto his long fingers, your hips rocking to match his movements. He inserts another finger, moving slowly again as to not hurt you. Desperately you claw at his back, hands reaching underneath his shirt, leaving marks in their wake. Yunho groans at the feeling, his own cock throbbing at how needy and wet you are. 'Faster, please,' you beg. The little sounds you let out are making him harder and harder; he starts rubbing himself against your leg as he fucks you with his fingers, his cock so hard it's starting to feel like torture.

"More, please Yuyu," you beg again, tears forming in your eyes from how good it all feels.

"More fingers? You feel so tight baby," he asks you, barely able to move his hand with how hard you're clenching down on him.

"No, need you inside me," you babble, feeling how hard he is against your leg. Yunho slows his movements a bit, propping himself up on his elbow to talk to you. He wants nothing more than to fuck you right then, but there's just one problem.

"Baby, I didn't bring any condoms with me," he huffs out, his frustration obvious.

"You should have," you whine, turning your face away from him but still moving your hips against his hand.

"How was I supposed to know this was gonna happen?" he asks, laughing.

You just whine again, eyes even more teary now at the thought that you might not get what you want, and you move your hands up to cover your face. Yunho stops his movements when he sees your disappointed face, sitting himself up to look down at you. He takes his free hand and gently brushes a hair out of your face.

"You really need me to fuck you right now?" he asks, earnestly. You nod your head, looking at him through the gaps between your fingers, your lips in a pout. Yunho groans and throws his head back, your sweet and needy face making him want to do every dirty thing he can think of. "Okay, I'll be right back," he says, slowly pulling out of you. You whine in disappointment, your pussy feeling devastatingly empty. "Just sit tight for a few minutes, I'll be right back," he says, kissing your forehead.

After cleaning off his hand Yunho walks through the cabin, trying hard to go unnoticed as he passes through the living room to the master bedroom. Everyone still seems to be awake except Hongjoong and Seonghwa who lay cuddled on a couch together; Wooyoung and his cousin Yeosang are playing what appears to be a very heated card game of some kind, while the other boys watch or scroll their phones, everyone clearly winding down for the night. He's thankful to not see Ari or San present; they must be in their bedroom as he'd hoped. His heart races from how potentially awkward this interaction could be, but he feels like he's on autopilot and there's no possibility of turning back. Not when you had begged him like that, and looked at him the way you did. There was no way he wouldn't find some sort of solution to his problem.

He knocks on the door gently, hoping he's not disturbing a private moment between the two.

"Yeah?" he hears Ari ask, sounding sleepy.

"It's Yunho, can I come in for just a sec?" he asks, trying to sound casual. He doesn't want to raise any alarm bells for them, or for any of the boys in the living room who might be overhearing. And if it had just been Ari, or one of the other friends he'd known for so long it might not feel too awkward. But there are three new people on the trip this year, and he isn't sure how comfortable they would be.

"Yeah, come in," she responds. Yunho turns the door handle slowly, hoping to avoid making any loud noise. Slowly pushing open the door, he spots San in the chair in the corner, reading over something on his laptop in front of him.

"Hey, sorry this is, well, random. Do you guys happen to have a, uh, condom I could borrow?" he spits it out, not wanting to waste a second.

"Oh, yeah, uh, let me see what I've got," San replies, closing his laptop and setting it on the bed before unzipping a small pocket in his suitcase. "Here just take this box, I brought two with me," he responds.

"Are you sure?" Yunho asks. He's frankly taken aback by how casual San is being about this, and by his generosity on top of it all.

"Yeah, of course. I've got plenty and I'm glad you're asking. It's always better to be safe," he responds, a genuine smile on his face.

"Be careful with her," Ari adds, unable to stop herself. "She's very fragile."

"I'm not going to hurt her, you know that," he replies, looking at her almost coldly. He feels slightly offended at the idea that she thinks it's a possibility, after all of the years she'd known him, seen him taking care of you.

"I know. I just had to say it, she needs all the protecting she can get," she says, remembering the state you were in during dinner. "I'm sorry if that was rude. I'm- I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to ask us," she finishes, hoping she didn't cross some sort of line with him.

"She's very capable of asking for what she needs," Yunho replies, wanting to stick up for you. But his face is soft, he isn't mad.

"Which is, that?" Ari gestures at the box of condoms in his hand, trying to hold back laughter.

"Okay, that's enough," Yunho laughs, looking away from her towards the door. "Thank you both, sorry if I made that weird."

Out the door he makes his way through the living room, trying to hide the box under the hem of his shirt. Mingi is the only one who glances up to see him, registering the shape of the box underneath the fabric. He's pretty sure he knows what it is, and he smirks to himself, too tired to say anything about it. But he's happy his friend is finally getting what he's wanted.

"I'm back," Yunho whispers when he reenters the room, your face and body awash in the gentle white light from the moon. He makes quick work of opening the box, removing one condom and throwing it on the bed. In a second he's on you, peppering your face with kisses, moving his hands underneath your shirt to pull it off.

"I'm so bloated," you say, breathless.

"I need to see you," he responds, not giving you any room to keep talking about yourself that way. You tug on his shirt as well and he reaches up, pulling it off and throwing it on the floor. In the moonlight he looks pale, his long torso perfectly shaped and beautifully lean. You bring a hand up to stroke along his stomach, feeling the strong muscles underneath his skin, brushing across a small happy trail going down from his belly button into his pants. You tug on his pants too, your neediness having only grown in the few minutes he was gone. The idea of laying stark naked in front of anyone, especially in your bloated, sickly state would normally make you shudder, but in this moment you feel free, ready to take anything. He moves down to kiss you again, passionately, his tongue forcing you to open your mouth wide, his hands possessively grabbing you. Him kissing down your neck has you moaning, nearly writhing underneath him. He moves up to whisper to you, biting your earlobe gently and making you moan louder.

"You're so perfect," he whispers, the words cascading down you like a soft warm rain, any worry you had completely melting away. You tug at his pants again, helping him move them down and finally, completely off. Quickly he rolls on the condom; carefully he lines himself up with your entrance, moving his stiff cock up and down your slit, already feeling how warm and wet and ready you are. Finally he presses in, achingly slowly, until he's fully seated inside of you, the muscles of your cunt being deliciously stretched in a way they never have before.

He's big to be sure, clearly just the perfect size, stretching you just the way your body needed. Slowly he pulls out, then soothingly pushes himself back in, his cock hitting every perfect place inside you. Your mouth falls open at the feeling; you've never felt so full, so complete. He moves a hand down to your hip, anchoring himself so he can start a slow rhythm, his head buzzing with how good it all feels.

"Baby, you're so tight, fuck," he says as he tries to find a consistent pace. "Does that feel good?" he asks, eyes not leaving your face.

"Yes, yes, fuck, Yunho," you mumble, not able to form a coherent sentence.

"Relax for me then, you're so tight I can barely move," he says, trying to find the perfect angle to make your body completely give in. Quickly he readjusts himself, moving his knee to lower his angle, adding more strength to his movement. You moan, clearly feeling even better than before, so he knows he needs to lower the angle even more. "Baby, lift your hips for me," he says, grabbing a pillow from beside you to move underneath your lower back. Once you're situated he kisses you again, acutely aware of just how surrendered you are to him, words no longer forming on your lips. Slowly he adjusts his knee again, his hand still on your hip anchoring you, and he begins fucking you again from his new angle.

The immense pleasure is immediate, your back arching and your head rolling back, your moans so loud you're probably being heard throughout the rest of the cabin. But Yunho doesn't care, he's not thinking about that. All he's thinking about is the way he feels your pussy pull him in even more, your hips and thighs finally relaxing some, your whole body reacting to his change in movement.

"Shit, there you go," he praises you, feeling your legs wrap around his back, pulling him in. He's been so careful with you, so focused on not hurting you, but he can tell you need more, so he starts fucking you harder, his face nuzzling in your hair to take in everything he loves about you. He can feel the muscles of your pussy start to clench again, but it's different this time; the flutter against his cock drives him crazy, making him thrust into you even harder. Soon he feels the muscles clenching hard, your moans reaching their peak, your hands a vice grip on his arm and back.

"Good girl, let yourself come," he coos, holding you as close to him as he can, kissing your cheek and nose. It's the most heated moment, he feels himself about to come undone too, but suddenly he's overcome with fondness, a warmth flowing through his chest, making him feel emotional.

"Fuck, I love you." The words tumble out of him without warning and your own chest warms, just as your orgasm starts blooming through you, your legs shaking as Yunho continues to fuck you. You're moaning and mewling, unable to say a single actual word, but you wish you could tell him just how perfect everything is, how you haven't came like that, ever. In the heat of the moment everything felt right, and to hear him say something so sweet just as you reached your climax made it all feel even better. His tight grip on you, the way he's nuzzled into your body, it makes you feel safe and grounded and so fucking horny.

Yunho comes just after you do, his thrusts becoming inconsistent, his body going taught and then absolutely limp on top of you. You both breath deeply, your chests heaving in the quiet coolness of the room. You wish you could bottle this feeling, the way your body is limp and buzzing with pleasure, his weight on top of you making your usually busy brain filled with nothing but the feeling of him. It feels peaceful, almost spiritual. You both rest for a few minutes, not moving a muscle, except when Yunho reaches over finally to kiss you again, making you giggle.

"How are you feeling?' he asks, still not daring to move.

"So good," you slur out, a dopey smile spreading across your face.

"Good," he replies, wrapping himself around you like he loves to do. "Can I pull out of you?" he asks.

"Mhmm," you respond, moving your legs to allow him to move. He cleans you up and helps you redress, stopping every few seconds to kiss you again, tickling you too when he realizes you're in the mood for it. It takes a while for you to come back to yourself, your mind so foggy from everything that had happened. But finally, once he'd gotten you both totally ready for sleep and wrapped himself up behind you, you found you could actually speak.

"I love you too," you whisper, squeezing his hand that rests on your belly. He just cuddles you closer, letting out a huge sigh of relief.

***

Next Part ->

#ateez x reader #yunho x reader #yunho smut #ateez yunho #ateez smut

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thebluester2020 · 2 months ago

Text

[SDV] SDV Bachelors X Receiving A BJ For The First Time

Summary: Anon does a pretty good job of explaining what’s happening here!

Warning(s): Pure Porn, Whiny Sam + Sebastian agenda, Mean! Jio (per the norm, I love mean men), Alex is gentle with you, Dirty Talking Alex (he encourages you to stop sucking him off and let him eat you out lol), Sam is rough, Reader in Jio's part is a slight bit obsessed, Gentle + Crybaby Jio combo for a bit before he becomes rougher, Jio refers to the reader as a slut and whore once.

Side Note(s): Sorry for the wait, anon! I hope you like this! I decided to only do some of the bachelor's instead of all of them (Lol, mostly cause I wanted to make room for my main man Jio)

Sebastian

I'm going to jump straight into it and say—I firmly believe that Sebastian would be super quiet but twitchy when receiving a BJ for the first time. (Like constantly opening and closing his legs type of twitchy).

Can you blame him, though? He's never received one before!

Pluusss the fact that his crush is giving him a BJ? He would keep wondering if what's happening to him is a dream or not!

And as much as I wanna say that he'd let you take your time— I kinda believe he wouldn't?

Not in a disrespectful type of way, ofc, but in a way that something feels so good that you have to get more of it right then and there. The moment he feels himself closer to his release, his hand would begin to press down on your head while begging you to keep going, that "he'll pay you back right after!"

Not that you need payback, of course, his cute reactions are more than payment enough.

♡ - Sebastian's mind was spinning as his eyes were glued to your lips, shiny with spit as they wrapped around the tip of his cock.

But he felt bad, his legs constantly opening and closing as the feeling of you suckling the tip of his leaky cock...it felt too good. "B-Babe..." He managed to whisper through his teeth, his hand quickly covering his mouth to force down a moan that threatened to escape his mouth. Your brow twitched in annoyance as you looked up at Sebastian through your thick lashes, although he was soooo cute trying to hold back his sounds of pleasure as he was right now...you wanted to hear him. When you had invited him over to hang out, you practically felt him burning holes into your lips with how hard he was looking at them without a single lick of shame!

Now that he was caught and put into a position he was so clearly enjoying, he was shy?

Cute but...you weren't having any of it.

Sebastian whined, trying to get your attention. "Baby...go faster, please." He begged.

You chuckled, the reverberation of the sound making Sebastian once again threaten to snap his thighs closed if it weren't for you holding them open. Thus, you took your lips off of his tip with a lewd 'pop'. "Please?" You tilted your head to the side. "But you're so quiet...you don't seem like you're enjoying it." You sighed teasingly.

His eyes widened. "I-I am!" He gasped. "It's just—Oooh..." His next words slipped from his mind as you dragged a finger up the underside of his cock, trailing along the prominent vein for a few moments before you took Sebastian into your mout once more. He whined at the feeling of your hot mouth enveloping his dick so suddenly again, his chest heaivng up and down with an eed tha tfeew more and more until...he could no longer take it anymore. Admittedly, he felt bad for the thoughts that rushed through the front of his mind as his hand slipped from its position of covering his mouth before finding itself entangled in your hair. All he could think about was how good you were sucking his cock, how the lewd slurping noises that emitted from your lips, glistening with a mixture of his leaky pre-cum and your spit...it all served to make his cock throb inside your mouth as the urge to cum grew even stronger.

And he would.

He swore to himself that he would eat you out to the point of tears once he was done being a little selfish with you!

"Sorry...!" Was the only warning you had before his hand suddenly pushed your head all the way down to the base of his dick. The sound of your shocked whine as the tip of his cock threatened to slide down your throat made him emit a throaty groan. Your hands braced against his thighs even harder as you tried to quickly stabilize yourself and breathe through your nose. Yet, as you looked up at Sebastian through your wet lashes, with the intent to give him a scolding glare, your intentions melted away at the sight of Sebastian's adorable face matching the color of a perfectly ripe apple.

Spit dribbled down the side of his mouth, and his eyes were watery with unshed tears, born from a dizzying pleasure that he wasn't able to hold back as loud moans mixed in with pleas and apologies flooded from his mouth.

"S-Sorry...! Your mouth feels too fucking good..."

"I promise I'll p-pay you back after this, just let me use your mouth...pleasepleasepleaseplease...!"

Those lines along with some others only sent more heat rushing down to your aching pussy, your clit throbbing with need as you began to moan at the idea of Sebastian being just, if not more whiney than he already was now while you bounced up and down on his cock.

But you supposed that was for later on.

Sebastian let out a drawn-out groan as he felt his orgasm begin to creep up on him. "Fuuuckkk..." He said, his head falling forward a little when you begun to choke around his cock, the feeling of your clenching throat in combination with the way you begun to caress his balls making him pant even more as if he were in heat. However, Sebastian forced himself to restrain himself from closing his eyes and only focus on you.

Youyouyouyou.

Your name was repeated inside his head a million times over before he whimpered out the word 'Cumming...' before you felt ropes and ropes of his hot seed begin to flood your mouth.

You nearly laughed at how fast his grip upon your hair faltered, your poor one-night stand freely letting his tears of overstimulation fall before you finally released him from your mouth, stroking his cock a few more times to wring out anymore cum he had left in him before you pressed a sloppy kiss to the front of his thigh. "So cute Sebastian~" You easily praised him before you shakily rose to your feet, and immediately, you took his hand before you slowly led him to how wet your poor cunt was.

You had to endure watching him feel soooo good, all while you were forced to practically edge yourself!

And with how cute he was while he came...you weren't quite done with him yet.

Sam

You guys probably already know where I'm going with this, but— VOCAL SAM FOR THE WIN.

I'll never stop promoting that I think this man is a perv, bonus points if he's super loud and honest about it. Henceforth, I'm going to go ahead and say that Sam would be a dog when it comes to receiving a BJ for the first time.

Panting, moaning, and begging for more. You name it. But it's born out of a more selfish nature compared to Sebastian, though. It's mostly due to him being so pleasure-drunk off how your tongue moves around his cock that he can't really think of being selfless at the moment.

And you best believe, if you even think of trying to stop as a way of teasing him for being so vocal despite sucking him off in his bedroom.

He's definitely taking over and fucking your mouth for himself.

♡ - "S-Shit farmer...how long have you b-been able to do this?"

The two of you were located in Sam's room on his bed. The blonde's baby blue hues were glued onto your lewd form as your head bobbed up and down on his cock. It was Sam's first time having anyone suck him off, he knew it felt good based on all the pronos he's watched on his phone but he didn't know that it could feel this good. To the point the poor man was panting like a dog while his heart threatened to thump straight out of his chest, all as he was hardly able to keep his hips from bucking up into your mouth much less the deep moans that escaped his throat!

However, you could care less, every unabashed moan of his...the breathless ways he'd gasp out your name like a devotee praying to their god went straight to your weeping cunt.

Especially when he started to beg for more. "Fuck—shitshitshit—faster...please...!" The poor man suddenly whined before a pout began to slowly crawl onto his face when you did the opposite and slowed down, all to giggle at him teasingly.

You took your mouth off of him briefly to let a glob of spit drip down onto his reddened tip. "You're so loud, Sam...aren't you afraid that I do anything more that someone will hear you?" You said with faux concern. Frankly, you didn't care if the two of you were caught one way or another, you loved the obvious way Sam made it clear that he craved more of you too much to stop anytime soon! Especially when he looked at you as if he'd go insane if you didn't go back to sucking him off in the next few seconds.

But, Sam didn't care for your teasing words, bucking his hips up slightly in an effort to pull your attention back to his throbbing dick. "Y-You're so worried about me...what about you?" He bit back with a huff that blew a strand of hair from his face. "You look like a reeaallll slut right now..." He continued. "Straight from a porno, babe." You hated how quickly the way Sam referred to you as a slut made your thighs clench tighter together, especially whe he otherwise looked so enamored with you.

"What if someone catches Pelican Town's local favorite farmer, sucking off the dude that works at JojaMart, huh—A-Ah!" You interrupted his words with an impromptu lick to his tip, flattening your tongue as you did so before you took your lips away once more with an obnoxious smack.

"So mean, Sam! Keep that up and I won't let you cum." You chastised.

Oh.

You wouldn't let him cum?

Your words bounced around inside of Sam's head for a long few moments as he quickly recalled how perfect your mouth felt on him, as if you were solely born to service his dick like a wanton whore, how every movement of your tongue...how you would tighten your mouth at the tip as if you had done that trick many times prior. The idea of you being with anyone else? It was obvious that you would've, you were soooo pretty. It was why Sam had fallen for you to begin with; hell, the fact that you responded to his text asking you to come to his house to hang out was a long shot in the dark! But...he wanted to be the last person you were with.

After all, how could he look at anyone else when he felt like he could easily go insane from your ministrations alone? And the longer he stared at you, waiting for you to continue sucking him off...the more he'd grit his teeth together out of impatience as well as annoyance. If you were going to keep on teasing him...he'd simply have to take control and chase after his own orgasm, wouldn't he?

Sam flashed you a smile, one that didn't reach his eyes completely. "Who would've thought the farmer was sooooo mean?" He pouted as his hand went to your head.

He let his palm linger for a second before he suddenly gripped your hair tightly, forcing you to hold still before he fucked his cock up into your unsuspecting mouth.

A groan left his lips at the feeling of your shocked scream reverberating around his dick, through his blurry vision, soaked with his tears of heightening pleasure...he saw the way your hands gripped his bedsheets. And he wanted to feel bad, oh he realllyyyy did. The right thing for him to have done was let you wait to get adjusted to his cock suddenly bullying the back of your throat! But, he just couldn't get over the way you looked right now as he drilled himself up into your sloppy mouth.

Your eyes nearly rolled to the back of your skull as spit drooled out from the sides of your mouth, serving to make his already glistening cock even sloppier as those lewd slurping and gulping sounds from earlier restarted in earnest. He could almost—no, he did laugh at the sight of it all. You were talking so confidently earlier!

The least you could do, in his humble opinion, was be able to back your words up and take a little rough treatment without looking as if you were going to pass out all of a sudden! "Hah...hah...you look so fucking sloppy farmer." Sam moaned, more to himself rather than you. "All that talk...and you can't take me fucking this tight throat of yours?" A weak snort left him before it was quickly followed by a throaty groan, the feeling of your teeth just barely grazing his cock making him teeter on the edge of cumming.

But he held himself back; he wasn't through with you yet.

"Y-You said I wasn't cumming? Guess t-that ain't true, right?" He laughed mockingly at how you tried to respond, the sound coming out as a weak, gargled noise before Sam caught how your hips were trying to buck and rub against his bedsheets.

He clicked his tongue, tempted to reprimand you for trying to cum along with him when you were being so mean to him earlier! But...the sight of your tears as well as how you so needily bucked your hips against his sheets...he couldn't bring himself to stop the visage when he was soooo close to cumming. "Fuck...I'm sososo close—!" Sam practically cried out as he threw his head back.

His moans were unabashed now, he could hardly give a damn about who heard him as he lost himself in your mouth, only managing a few more hard thrusts before he stilled completely against your mouth. You were forced to take every single drop of his cum, the salty taste of his spend almost overwhelming before the blonde finally weakened his grip against your head and allowed you to take your mouth off of his dick. But you were disappointed.

You were soooo close to cumming, only a little longer and you would've came with him!

And the feeling of your orgasm quickly dying down nearly drove you insane. "Sammmm...!" You whined as you shakily rose to your knees before you scooted up to his chest, trying to quickly shake him from his post-orgasm high. "I didn't get to—"

A knock at the door stopped you dead in your sentence, even causing Sam to snap his head to look at the door, although his eyes were still a little unfocused. "Shit."

Alex

Okay, so, hear me out on this one—

It's really hard for me to believe that he's never received a blowjob before. But let me say this, I can believe that he's never came from a blowjob before. After all, the poor guy is rocking a third leg in his pants, every girl (and guy) that's seen it has immediately gotten intimidated and backed out!

Not that Alex would judge them, though. He knows he's a big guy! That being said though, I'll also add on that I don't think he'd be much of a head-pusher either when he actually comes across someone who has the courage to suck him off.

But, he would use the opportunity to tell you what he's going to do to you once you're finished "playing around," as he calls it all the while he's petting your head and giving you praise upon praise for making him feel so good.

For your reward for nearly breaking your jaw trying to take him into your mouth, he's giving you head!

♡ - You were so careful in the way you treated him.

It was cute; he couldn't deny or lie about it.

He thought your reactions from earlier were cute already, with how you moaned with every single peck he'd place onto your lips. How he'd teasingly grace his fingers against your sex, groaning at the feeling of how quickly your slick was beginning to soak the center of your underwear. Oh, and he couldn't dare to forget how you, oh so sweetly in fact, begged for him to let you please him instead of the other way around. To be frank, he wanted to deny your request the moment you suggested it, especially when his mouth was practically watering at the idea of tasting you, lifting up your skirt and digging his mouth into your cunt while he kneeled on the floor.

But...as you looked up at him with the cutest doe eyes?

He was unable to say 'no'.

And it was for the best, he thought. Currently, as you slowly stroked his cock and gave tentative kitten licks to his cockhead? It wasn't even close to make him cum but he loved how you were genuinely trying your best to take all of him into your mouth! Even if you only huffed in frustration and went back to teasing his tip in the end.

He wasn't just talking himself up; he really was a big guy. Far too much for an untrained mouth like yours to handle. However, when it came to you? He was more than patient and very much willing to train you. "So big..." You murmured against Alex's cock, his length unabe to stand up fully with how heavy it was.

To say that your jaw was sore after only a few minutes of trying was an understatement, but you were nothing if not determined!

"You're trying so hard." Alex laughed, both in disbelief and out of genuine amusement. You frowned at how composed your boyfriend sounded, nearly fifteen minutes of being on your knees, and you weren't able to do anything aside from getting him to blush a little!

"Y' sure you don't wanna get eaten out? I'm sure it'll feel waayyyy better than this."

You pouted. "I'm sure." You told him stubbornly.

Alex's breath hitched when you quickly returned to licking his tip, using your hands to stroke the rest of him off while you eagerly lapped up his pre-cum. You were so stubborn...it was clear enough to him that he wasn't going to get you to stop anytime soon, especially when you genuinely believed that you'd be able to fit all of him into your mouth in one night!

It wasn't that he doubted you, some sufficient training over some weeks, and you'd reach your goal in no time! But...as Alex's eyes roamed over your form, all before they settled on the exposed top of your breasts, while he remembered just how wet you were from a little bit of kissing. He supposed he'd just have to convince you to get off your knees and let him eat you out already. "Well then, you should hurry up and make me cum babe—" Alex softly gasped at how you moaned around his tip when he placed a hand on your head, beginning to pet you as if you were a loyal pet. "—I have soooo many things I want to do to you once your done down there."

That little movement, one that would've been easy to miss if he weren't paying close attention to you. He knew you had clenched your thighs.

Still, on your knees you remained. "You were so cute when we kissed earlier, y'know? Could feel that eager pussy of yours twitch all over thigh." He laughed. You tried to withhold your soft moans as you clenched your thighs together even tighter. You knew what he was doing. Alex always did this to you, whenever you were being stubborn, he'd always try to entice you by saying things that he wanted to do to you. And...you admitted, it worked so well that it was infuriating.

Thus, you let go of his tip with a 'pop' before you softly glared up at him. "Stop." You huffed.

He chuckled. "Stop what? Am I lying?"

Your silence was his answer. Alex snickered before he gripped your hair, the tight feeling making you hiss a little before he guided your mouth back to his tip. "Don't let me stop you, though...get back to it." He clicked his tongue, as if you were a dog he was trying to encourage to do a trick. "Well? Hurry up, I have so many ideas as to how we can better spend our time after this. Like fucking your cunt into the shape of my cock..."

"Think you can handle it? Maybe not..."

"Look at how hard it is for my sweet girlfriend to fit my dick into her mouth already!"

"I'd train you reeaallll good though."

Each lust-filled word that left his lips had you nearly creating a puddle underneath yourself as thoughts of what the two of you would do together continued to infiltrate your mind, distracting you from your goal of sucking off your hung boyfriend to completion in favor of wanting to be fucked silly already! And the second you released Alex from your mouth once more...he knew he had you right where he wanted you.

"What's wrong? Don't you wanna—"

"J-Just eat me out already...!"

Oh, he was more than happy to oblige you.

Jio

Working him up to the idea of a blowjob is an accomplishment in of itself.

Not only does he have to see you in a romantic light first. He also had to be comfortable with you as well, but once he's there? This man is rocking the dirty-talker + praise/encouraging you to do more + headpusher combo.

"You're sucking my cock so eagerly...have you been wanting to do this a long time, farmer?"

"Such a good girl/boy, keep it up and I may just think about giving you a reward in turn."

"Sorry in advance, I don't think I can hold myself back any longer, my love..." UGH

Let me clarify, though, that the type of headpushing he's doing to you really depends on his mood as well as whether or not you've been a brat or not. On one hand, he doesn't want to cum too fast and risk not enjoying your treatment of him to the fullest but at the same time? If you get too cocky and try to take control via denying him his orgasm, he definitely has no qualms about putting you back in your place!

♡ - It wasn't hard for Jio to pinpoint how the two of you wound up in the position you both were in now.

Earlier that day, you had invited him to walk with you all the way to the Mines, close to the highest mountain peak in all of the valley. Although he was admittedly tempted to decline your request in favor of going about his normal patrols...the way you looked at him with the widest eyes, full of hope and another feeling he wasn't able to quite place...he said yes (and the strange blooming feeling in his chest, one that was only felt when he was around you only encouraged his acceptance).

But as the mid-afternoon slowly rolled over into dusk during your walk.

The underlying tension in the air was heavy.

As if your very souls knew what both of you wanted to say, much less do to one another, despite the two of you hardly speaking a word aside from mild commentary about each other's day or the scenery around you! Thus, when the two of you finally got to the Mines and Jio was just about to turn to leave, your confession spluttered out of your mouth before you could attempt to reel it back in.

The air between the two of you was so silent that you could almost hear the squeaking of the bats deep down in the mines. But a single line from Jio, "Do you really mean it?" He asked. "That you really feel this way about me?"

Although you nodded your head firmly. That wasn't enough for him.

"...Prove it."

Thus, that's how Jio found his back against the rocky wall of the entrance into the mines while you had sunken down onto your knees to suck his cock, your eyes obediently trained onto him per his stern command of you so that he could further see the love and obsession that swam around so clearly within your watery eyes. "Hah...you must've been wanting to do this for a while, haven't you, farmer?" Jio practically purred behind his mask as he looked down at you, a deep red tint coating his cheeks as his hand rested gently on your bobbing head.

Each and every moan of his went straight to your sopping cunt, your tongue swirling around the tip of his dick before flattening against the underside of his cock. The slightly sweet taste of him was addictive, far better than you had previously imagined it to be whenever your fingers would be knuckle-deep inside your greedy pussy, aching for a cock that you originally believed you would never be able to have!

Now that you had him right where you wanted him...you didn't ever wanna let go. "F-Fuck—" Jio cursed when you suddenly deepthroated him, practically clawing at his pants as his cock began to tease the back of your throat. "W-Wait..." He suddenly began to pant, the sudden increase of pleasure making the elf's mind swim as he tried to convince and plead for you to go a little slower. He didn't wanna cum just yet, when he was able to blink back his tears of overstimulation to look down at you...you were so pretty.

Your face was flushed, all the while, despite how you looked as if you were on the verge of going dumb, you looked at him as if he hung the very stars of this world.

Quite frankly, he couldn't get enough of how you looked. As if you were constantly searching for more ways to please him despite doing sooo much for him as you were!

"My love...if you—if you keep looking at me like that—Ah!"

You giggled dumbly as you took your mouth from his cock, your hand quickly moving to stroke him as you relished in the adorable sight of Jio clenching his eyes tightly shut, his hips helplessly bucking into your hand. "Looking at you like whaat?" You teased.

An eye snapped open. "Don't tease." Was his only warning. One that you were about to take seriously until you thought about it.

Normally, Jio was so stoic and serious...to see him in such a state was a treat that, like a glutton, you wanted so much more of! To see him reduced to tears and practically begging to cum? The idea was far too tempting for you to listen, thus, your hand slowly moved up to focus more on his tip while you began to plant kisses along the side of his dick. Each soft, almost featherlight peck of yours made him twitch and throb, whines beginning to ooze out from the elf as he struggled to keep himself upright against the wall when you started to use your palm to massage his leaky tip.

"O-Oooh..." He whined. "F-Farmer..." He panted. "I-I'm warning you—Fuck!" You giggled against his length at his words being interrupted by his own moans.

You trailed your tongue all along the prominent vein on the underside of his cock until you reached the end, licking your lips as if you had just gotten finished with tasting a sweet treat. "Warning me?" You pouted. "What about you, Jio~? You looked like you're about to cum at any moment..." You whispered. You increased the speed of your palm against his hand, the act making Jio practically wail into the air.

Up until he just barely heard your words of "I wonder if I should even let you cum..."

Joke or not, he assumed he would let you have your fun reducing him to such a mess so long as he got to cum but for you to deny it? Like the flip of a light switch, elf snapped himself from the fog of his mind before he gripped the back of your neck and thrusted himself forward. "Apologies, my love—" The term 'my love' made you moan needily despite the feeling of Jio's balls slapping against your chin with how hard he was fucking your face. "—but I believe you've had your fun seeing me in such a state of need, right?"

No.

Far from it in fact, but...it was hard to think of giving him that type of response much less think at all when the feeling of Jio's girthy dick plowing in and out of your mouth made you lose all brain function. And the elf laughed at how you looked right now. Disheveled and teary-eyed, snot threatening to drip from your nostrils as you struggled to keep your eyes focused on him and from rolling to the back of your head. That very sight, though, weirdly enough, only made him want to delay his orgasm even more.

"My love, you look so slutty right now." He chuckled, the noise of his laughter making you moan as you tried to sneakily trail a hand down to slip into your pants and rub at your aching clit.

But he was quick to catch you, delivering a swift punishment via pulling at your hair with a grunt. "Wanton whore." He practically spat. "Don't try to touch yourself when you were just about to make me wait for my orgasm. The least you can do is wait as well, no?"

Jio laughed mockingly at your whine. Oh, he was going to have so much fun with you now that he understood your feelings and exactly where they lay. All he could hope, though, was that no one walked into the mines and caught the two of you in such a state.

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brattyspence · 2 months ago

Note

submitting an order for the cafe! plain bagel + Would You Love Me Again from the Epic Musical with reader seeing Spencer for the first time after being released from prison? thank you in advance <33

order #3 | join my event and submit an order here

a/n: this song is insane i've never heard it before but the lyrics are sooooo post prison spencer thank you for letting this into my life anon! this got lengthy and i rlly wanted to write even more but i have 16 requests lmfaooo

tags: post-prison!spencer, marital strain, uuuggghh

Spencer has never been one to hesitate with you.

He’s loud about love, weirdly. He has no problem being outward about it, not when it means telling the world that he's lucky enough to have you, especially as his wife.

The entirely of his three months in prison felt like decades. You had grown used to a constant love, one that was always reassuring and consistent. Spencer was available to you at any given moment, just a call away, but the sudden change was even harder than you assumed it would have been.

He had seemingly stopped to connect. Daily phone calls began to grow further and further apart, until they stopped suddenly. Nothing had happened, no fighting or upset, but the weight of situation had finally caused something to give.

Now, standing in the office on wobbly feet, you couldn't help but worry about why. What had gone so wrong that he could no longer turn to you for anything? Or worse, was there even hope for your marriage after the months of strain?

When the door to the office finally opens, you're not met with the same man you once loved. He's different. He's leaned out, stress wears on his face, and his eyes tell a story that you're not sure you're ready to be faced with. You can tell someone put effort into attempting to piece him back together, as he's wearing his own clothes. As much as it hurts to know that the person who showed up for him first wasn't you, you can't be bothered by it. Not when he's here, standing within reach, for the first time.

There is no handbook for how to manage a situation like this. The only logical thing you can think of is to hold him to confirm his existence. So you do.

You can hear the slight hitch of his breath as you close the gap between you, your arms finding his body like everything is normal. You can feel every little change in him like this; the tension in his shoulders and the hesitation in his touch.

It doesn't cross your mind that your embrace is unwelcome, but you can't seem to care.

“Hi,” you whisper. The sound is muffled by layers of fabric and skin and collarbones, but it's there. It reaches him without the barrier of a phone.

“Hi,” he replies. “I’m sorry.”

The words are weighty. You're not sure what to do with them, but they don't mean any less because of it.

“It's okay,” you nod. “It doesn't matter. We can just… go home.”

He pulls away, and you finally get a good look at him again, every detail coming back to you like he never left. You can see the words forming in his mind.

“What?” You ask.

When you make an attempt to reach out again, this time with a hand to his face, you're swiftly denied contact. He captures your hand in his, instead holding it somewhere in mid air before letting it go.

“I don't…” he shakes his head. “I didn't call. I wasn't good to you.”

“It's okay. You had good reason.”

“But I didn't,” he protests. “It wasn't right. That's not… what I promised you.”

“Spencer,” you sigh. “It's over. I don't care.”

“But I do,” he sighs.

“I know who you are,” you reply. “It's okay. We had a rough few months. But things will get back to normal.”

He holds your gaze, as you hold his.

“I'm not sure we can.”

“Why wouldn't we?”

He opens his mouth, hesitating to explain.

“I just… I'm not the person you married.”

“Spencer.”

“Don't,” he huffs. “I did things that… weren't right. Weren't me.”

“And that's expected under the circumstances,” you say. “But I married you. In all forms and conditions. No matter what the cost was.”

He swallows thickly. This time, when you reach for him, he doesn't immediately resist. He allows you to take his face in your hands hesitantly, narrowed eyes still searching for doubt.

“Okay,” he nods.

“Good. Now come home,” you sigh.

The only response you get this time is the warmth of his hands on your sides, finally allowing himself to pull you back in once again.

#Spencer Reid x reader #Spencer Reid #Spencer Reid angst #hurt/comfort #brattyspence's cafe #my things #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #fluff #angst #cmblr

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runnning-outof-time · 1 year ago

Text

Up Until You | Tommy Shelby x Reader

Request: yes by anonymous

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader

Summary: In which Tommy Shelby realizes that he might just have someone he wants to live for.

Warnings: smoking, slight season 2 spoilers

Word Count: 3698

A/N: boy does it feel good to post a story again! I hope there won’t be as big a gap between this and my next one … I promise I’m getting these requests written! Anon, I hope this is as angsty as you were hoping….the prompt you sent is bolded. Enjoy! :)

A/N 2: I almost forgot! I wanted to give a shoutout to the lovely Mars @toms-cherry-trees for helping me so much in the planning process of this fic…I don’t think it would have gotten finished if it weren’t for you!

I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! — COMMENTS & REBLOGS HELP ME WRITE!

Comment/Message Me if you’d like to be tagged!

(Y/N) sent Ada Shelby a look that asked 'where is he?' the second the latter opened the door. Ada answered with a head nod to the left, which conveyed the answer of 'he's in there'. A glance over the Shelby woman's shoulder confirmed it - Tommy was sitting at the table in the front room. His back was to the door, so he hadn't noticed that she arrived...yet.

She sent Ada an appreciative smile before she quietly walked into the room, hoping that Tommy wouldn't hear her footsteps. He seemed to be too engrossed in his writing for that to happen though. She stood there for a few moments, carefully peering over his shoulder as he finished the sentence he was writing.

He paused then, and it gave (Y/N) the ability to read the sentence he'd just written:

In the event of my own death, I want the following facts to be known...

Reading those words made her mind go blank. "You're actually going through with it?" she asked without thinking.

The sudden sound of someone's voice made Tommy quickly turn in his chair. He was already on edge with the day's events taking up his mind, so this unexpected visitor had caught him completely off guard. It took a few moments for it to register that (Y/N) was standing in front of him. When it did, he cursed under his breath before letting out a huff.

"When'd you get here, eh?" he asked, his eyebrows raised as he placed his hands on his thighs.

"Just now. I couldn't find you at home. The guys hadn't left for the derby though, so I figured you'd be here," she explained her reasoning. "You don't have to go through with this, Tommy," she then circled back, not letting him switch topics.

"I have to," his response cut right to the point. He didn't have time to get into a discussion about it.

"What about the other options you've shared with me? The options that don't include you having to come face to face with this man in order to get the job done," she reminded him of the talks they've had in the past, hoping that doing so would get him to change his mind.

"There's no time for those other options, (Y/N). The derby's today. The plan's been laid out," he wasn't biting.

Silence hung in the air as they stared at each other. (Y/N) was hoping that he'd change his mind. She waited on bated breath, waiting for him to announce that to her. But he stayed silent.

She couldn't wait any longer. "So that's it then?" she asked, incredulousness present in her voice. The fact that he wasn't even trying to entertain a conversation about this was breaking her heart. "You're just going to write your note and practically seal your death with it? And what'll that mean for me?" she was unable to stop herself from getting choked up as she uttered her final question. She didn't want to think about her life without him, but it was staring her dead in the face at the moment.

"The note's just precautionary, love," he attempted to assure her. Her expression didn't change, her brow was now furrowed and it was noticeable that she was biting on her bottom lip; most likely to stop her tears. Tommy finally stood then, coming face to face with her in hopes that his proximity would wash some of her worry away. "I'll be fine," he added in a low voice, blindly searching for her hands so that he could hold them.

"You can't promise that," she responded, her voice coming out as a shaky whisper. It was taking everything she had not to burst out into tears in this moment. She'd always associated his closeness with safety...whenever Tommy was close, (Y/N) knew she could never get hurt. But now his closeness was making her hurt even more.

"It'll be fine," he repeated, squeezing her hands.

"It's really been decided?" she still couldn't accept it.

"It has," he nodded.

(Y/N) sighed at his confirmation. Her gaze dropped to the floor as she pulled her hands from his grasp. She then wrapped her arms tightly around her frame as she turned and took a few steps towards the windows.

"(Y/N)." Her name left Tommy's lips as a breath. He knew he was fighting a losing battle here. "Come on, love. Look at me," he gently coaxed her. She stood still. "It'll be fine," he tried once more to assure her.

That set her off. She whipped around within a second of hearing his statement. There was now a fire burning in her watery eyes. "Do not say those three words again," she snapped at him, "do not continue to try and reassure me with things that you cannot guarantee will happen. You know how dangerous this plan is, Thomas. Please don't try and act like It isn't. You wouldn't be sat here writing a note for someone to find in the event of your death if you didn't think that there was a possibility of it happening," she spoke her mind, letting her emotions go free as all of the pent up worry flowed out.

"(Y/N)," he spoke her name again, in a different tone this time. He didn't need this lecture. Not right now. "This is what needs to be done," he continued in a low voice, staying stoic in hopes that it would alleviate the situation quicker.

But (Y/N) no longer cared about what he did or didn't need at that moment, and if anything, his statement just made her even more upset.

"It doesn't need to be done like this," she insisted, "you don't need to sign your life away for a contract...for a man who doesn't give a single care about the stakes that have been raised here so long as he isn't the one carrying out the deed. Any other person would be trying to find a way to take themselves out of the equation but you've decided to put yourself in the driver's seat."

(Y/N) felt like she was talking in circles. Hell, she probably was, but she was doing so in hopes that something would be set off inside of him. She wanted him to realize that there was still time to think up another plan; one that didn't include him being placed in harm's way.

"What is it that you want from all of this?" he asked her, his brows furrowed together.

"You, Tommy!" she exclaimed, her frustration shining clear through her words. "I want you to fight! I want you to realize that things don't need to play out this way; that you can still put another plan into play!" she paused, taking a deep breath as she swiped at the tears that had escaped her eyes. "I want you to come home when all of this is finished," her voice was level again as she spoke the final sentence. Her eyes were locked onto his, hoping that he'd realize how much this was affecting her.

Their eyes stayed locked and a few moments passed before Tommy looked down at the ground. He exhaled a sigh as he brought his hand up to the back of his neck. "It's already done," he said, his voice void of any tone.

"Then I guess I'm done," the words left (Y/N)'s mouth before she could stop them. She didn't take them back though. She was tired of fighting in a one-sided fight. It was so obvious that Tommy had his mind made up. Nothing was going to change it at this point. But yet she still held onto that sliver of hope. She hoped that her showing up today and speaking her piece would get him to change his mind.

"(Y/N)..." Tommy looked up again as her name fell from his lips, shock now present in his expression.

"I can't be here a moment longer. I can't stand in front of a man who is acting as if he's already dead. I need to leave."

Her words were spoken softly, but Tommy heard them loud and clear. He said nothing as she moved to the archway, expecting her to leave without another word. To his surprise, she turned around just before she was about to exit the room.

"I didn't believe that love existed until you came along, Tommy. But you showed me how wrong I was for thinking that way; for thinking that I'd never experience something like that. And now you've just decided not only your future, but mine as well. I can't stay here and watch it play out. I'm not sure if I'll be home when you return. I just..." (Y/N) stopped speaking as the words got caught in her throat. She let out a shaky breath, tears welling up in her eyes once more.

All words escaped her at that moment, and she shook her head instead, deciding that finishing her declaration would be a lost cause anyway. She couldn't even bear to look at him again, too afraid that she'd actually break down. So instead she turned and made her way to the door of the home, opening it and leaving without looking back.

The sun was now shining down on her. It was an absolutely lovely day in London, but yet she was having one of the worst in her life. She decided to go for a walk, revisiting the streets that still felt like home even though she'd made the move to Birmingham several months ago.

(Y/N) knew Ada Shelby before she knew Tommy. She'd met her when Ada had moved into the next door apartment with her adorable son, Karl. The two women quickly became friends, spending a lot of time together right up until the day Ada had been found and hurt for being a Shelby.

Contact stopped briefly as Ada had moved out of the apartment, but things continued like nothing had even happened when Ada sent (Y/N) a letter that contained her new address. The two frequently spent time together in the front room of the lovely new home, sipping tea and talking about the day's events in front of the fire.

Ada's house was where (Y/N) first met Tommy. Surprise riddled their first encounter. Ada had stepped away to tend to Karl when Tommy came knocking on the door. (Y/N), being the friend that she was, didn't hesitate in opening it. The sight she was greeted with took her breath away. Thankfully Ada had returned from Karl's room, or who knows how long the two would have been standing in the doorway, staring at each other. She even joked about the fact that they couldn't seem to keep their eyes off of each other. Of course it didn't help that Tommy had forgotten what it was he was even there for for the first few minutes of his visit.

That wasn't the last time (Y/N) saw Tommy. The two became very close very quickly. It was like they had known each other forever; like there was this pull present between them that neither could ignore. Things also got serious pretty quickly. So serious that (Y/N) was packing up her things and leaving her London apartment for Small Heath after only six months of knowing Tommy.

Some might think it was crazy; that things were moving much too fast. But (Y/N) had never felt so sure of doing something in her life.

Which made what was happening now hurt so much more. But she needed to keep walking. She'd done the right thing.

Tommy placed a cigarette between his lips and lit it with a match before taking a deep drag from it and exhaling slowly. The sealed letter sat on the table in front of him. He stared at it for a few moments before pressing the thumb and index fingers of his free hand against his eyelids, hoping it would alleviate some of the pressure he'd been feeling.

"I made you up some tea," Ada's voice broke through the silence, and the sound of glass being set on the table he was working at made Tommy lift his head again.

He nodded as a thank you before bringing the cigarette back up to his lips again. He then stamped it out in the ashtray while exhaling the smoke slowly.

"I heard everything that was said, you know," she said then, moving over to one of the chairs so that she could sit. "What were you thinking, Tommy?" she asked with raised eyebrows, her eyes zeroed in on her brother.

Tommy sighed, rolling his eyes as he looked off to the far wall. He didn't need anymore of this right now.

"She was my friend first. She was the only person who cared about me when I moved here. She helped me through a lot. I'm not going to let you ruin her for your stupid ambitions," Ada had no problem speaking her mind and letting him know how wrong he was for responding to (Y/N) the way he did.

Tommy pulled the timepiece from his pocket and checked it before letting out a sigh and returning it back to its place. "I need to leave," he told Ada before lifting the cup and downing the beverage in one go. In hindsight he was thankful that it wasn’t scorching hot. "Thanks for the tea," he said to her as he set the empty cup back down.

Nothing more was said as Tommy stood from the chair he was sitting on. He looked to Ada as he pulled the jacket he'd been wearing back on over his shoulders. She was glaring at him, hoping that he'd have something - anything - more to add to the conversation.

It became apparent that he didn't when he started for the archway. So Ada left him with one last statement: "please don't let her go, Tommy. We all need her." There was a quiet desperation now present in her eyes, one Tommy wasn't sure what to say in response to.

So he nodded and turned to exit the home, heading right to the car he parked a few streets down.

Truthfully what he wanted to do right now was head back to Birmingham and stop (Y/N) from leaving, to tell her that she was more important than any plan he could ever put into place. He knew she was justified in saying everything that she had.

But it was too late to do that now. Tommy knew that there'd be men searching for him by the end of the day if he stepped away from the plan this late into it. At least now he had some sort of control over the outcome of his life. And he was going to try like hell to stay alive...because now he had someone to stay alive for.

The house on Watery Lane was quiet when Tommy stepped into it later that evening. The fire in the main room was still lit, but he couldn't quite remember if they'd put enough wood on to keep it going prior to leaving that morning. So judging (Y/N)'s presence based on that could have surely given false hope.

He took his overcoat off and hung it on one of the hooks by the door. The suit jacket followed after, and he draped that over one of the chairs in the sitting room as he walked through it.

No one was downstairs, but he hadn't expected anyone to be at this time of night.

He quietly walked up the steps and down the hall to the bedroom that he and (Y/N) shared. He paused at the closed door, taking a moment both to steady himself; to regroup from the day's events, and to prepare himself for the possibility that he may be opening the door to an empty room.

After inhaling and exhaling deeply, he turned the knob and opened the door. The first thing he noticed was the lit candle on the bedside table. Seeing it made all of his worries dissipate. (Y/N) had a habit of lighting them and then falling asleep.

Looking slightly to the right, he found the woman that hadn't left his mind since she left him in Ada's sitting room. She was laying on her side, facing the wall, telling him that she was sleeping.

Slowly, quietly he began ridding himself of his outer layers. It wasn't until he moved over to the dresser that he noticed the bags sitting on the floor. They were packed. It was easy to see that, even in the candlelight. He looked back to (Y/N) then, putting the pieces together in his mind. She was going to leave...but something made her stay.

Now only wearing his undergarments, he made his way over to the bed. Hesitation overcame him again. Should he lay with her? Should he go back downstairs? She was in her spot, tucked up against the wall so that enough room was present for him on the small bed they shared.

A few moments passed before he made his decision, lifting the covers and slowly slipping underneath them. He laid on his back for a short time before turning onto his side so that he was facing her sleeping frame. Another bout of hesitation filled him, but he didn't let it stick for too long as he gently draped his arm over her midsection.

That was when (Y/N) let out the shaky breath she'd been holding in from the moment she heard the door open. She was awake the entire time.

"Are you still awake, love?" Tommy asked in a whisper.

"Yes," she breathed out, her voice wavering.

"You've been crying," he pointed out, able to read her like an open book.

"I didn't know if I'd see you again," she answered him, choking up as she spoke.

"I'm here," he assured her, his arm wrapping tighter around her body.

(Y/N) didn't say anything in response. Instead tears fell from her eyes as she held her breath, trying not to make it noticeable that she was crying. But Tommy was able to feel how her body was shaking.

"Turn and look at me," he said quietly, a soft demand that took her a few moments to comply with. Her tear-stained face became visible in the candlelight when she did, and seeing it broke Tommy's heart. "C'mere," he breathed, allowing her to move even closer to him so that he could engulf her in his embrace.

"No one knew where you were, Tommy," she whispered once she was finally able to get words out again. "I thought..." she paused, not even wanting to say what she was thinking, "I thought the worst."

"I'm sorry you had to think that way, darlin'," he murmured, stroking the back of her head slowly. He held her close until her body stopped shaking, giving her the time she needed. He didn't speak until she lifted her head from the crook of his neck. "Better?" he asked in a whisper, peering down to see that her eyes were still closed.

"Slightly," she breathed out a response. "I'm relieved that you're home. Is..." she paused, seeming like she was looking for the words to say next, "is it finished?"

"It's finished," he answered in a definitive tone, nodding his head as best he could.

(Y/N) let out a shaky breath upon hearing his response, feeling as if the rest of the weight had lifted from her chest. She slowly opened her eyes and looked right into his. "I was going to leave," she started, watching Tommy's brows furrow together in the candlelight, "but I realized that this is part of the life I chose with you. That this is the type of work you carry out, and that I can either fight you on it or support you the best that I could. I also realized that my desire to be with you is so much greater than the worry that your work creates." Her eyes didn't stray from his as she spoke. Watching his hardened blue irises soften as he took in her words was enough to fill her heart to the brim with love.

Tommy took a moment to soak in her words. He moved his hand from behind her head so that he could gently trace the line of her jaw with his thumb. Taking in a deep breath, he knew what he had to do. Searching her eyes for a few seconds longer, he thought of the words he wanted to say.

"I thought I could lose everything and be totally fine with it," he began, clearing his throat in hopes that she wouldn't notice the fact that his voice was breaking. She noticed. "But then you came along...and now I see how wrong I was."

"Tommy," she breathed, taken back by his admission.

"I had nothing to live for up until you, (Y/N)," he admitted, not holding anything back now, "and I promise you now that things will change... that there’ll be no more of these plans. I don't want to have the possibility of an outcome that doesn't include you in it."

(Y/N)'s mind was swirling. It had been a rollercoaster of a day, she still couldn't quite believe the change of events that had happened. But she was so very thankful that things had ended up with Tommy by her side again.

"I love you, Tommy," she whispered, a smile tugging the corners of her lips upwards.

"I love you, (Y/N)," he repeated the phrase, his expression mirroring hers as he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers in a passionate kiss.

Now that he had her again, he knew that he could never let her go. What he'd told Michael earlier in the evening would soon be true: he was going to ask (Y/N) to marry him.

MASTERLIST

Tagged: @mystcldydrms @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @elenavampire21

@mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @notyour-valentine @theshelbyslimited

@peakyswritings @just-a-blackhole @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss

@alexxavicry @captivatedbycillianmurphy @yummycastiel @dark-academia-slut @tommystargirl

@emotionalcadaver @stevie75 @lyarr24 @signorellisantichrist @zablife

@anotherblinder @cillmequick @dandelionprints @letal-y-poetica @garrison-girl-08

@insanitybyanothername @depxiety @justrainandcoffee @dragons-are-my-favorite @forgottenpeakywriter

@cljordan-imperium @brummiereader @red-riding-wood @everythingelseisextra @little-diable

@thomashelbyswife @shaddixlife @ryecosse @padfootdaredmetoo

654 notes · View notes

natsaffection · 10 months ago

Text

Wait and Hope. Pt 3 | N.R

Warnings: Hospital stay, coma, broken hearts, Wasting food

Word count: 10,9k

A/n: Aaand here us the final part! Thank you again Anon for this great Idea. 🩵

Natasha leaned against the wall, her knees threatening to give way as the adrenaline that had kept her going slowly began to fade. She knew she had to stay strong, had to pull herself together. For you, for the kids, but as she watched the doctors, the terrible reality of the situation fully dawned on her. The words of her children echoed in her mind, Lilas angry question, Jacob’s heartbreaking plea, Mia’s frightened sobbing. How was she ever going to explain this? How could she make them understand that you might not wake up, that the woman who had fought so hard to be their mother might be taken from them before they had truly let you into their lives?

Natasha closed her eyes, resting her head against the cold, sterile wall, and whispered a silent prayer, a prayer that you would fight, that you would survive, that you would come back to them. Because the alternative was too horrific to contemplate. The waiting was unbearable. Every time the door to the infirmary opened, Natasha’s heart jumped into her throat, only to be shattered again when it was just another nurse or passing doctor. She couldn’t sit still, couldn’t find any semblance of calm in the storm of emotions raging inside her. Fear, guilt, anger..all swirled together, threatening to overwhelm her.

The sterile smell of disinfectant in the air only intensified her fear, mixing with the metallic scent of blood that still clung to her hands, no matter how many times she scrubbed them. Your blood. She could still feel its warmth, still see how it had soaked your clothes, staining them a deep, merciless red. Her mind replayed the moment over and over when you threw yourself in front of the bullets, how you had crumpled to the ground, your eyes wide with shock and pain. Natasha squeezed her eyes shut, trying to push the image away, but it was burned into her memory, a nightmare that wouldn’t let go.

“Why did you do it?” she whispered into the empty hallway, her voice heavy with unshed tears. But even as she asked the question, she knew the answer. You did it because you loved her. Because you couldn’t bear the thought of a world without Natasha. For the same reason Natasha had so often pushed herself to the limit in the past, risking everything to protect the people she loved. But knowing that didn’t make it any easier. On the contrary, it only made the guilt worse.

She couldn’t stop the memories that flooded her mind. Memories of you, so vivid and real that it felt like you were right beside her. She remembered the first time they met, how your smile had lit up the room and disarmed Natasha in a way she hadn’t thought possible. Back then, she had been so closed off, so determined to keep everyone at a distance. But you had broken through all of that, your warmth and kindness slipping through her defenses like water through a crack in a dam.

Then there were all those countless moments of quiet joy they had shared. The lazy Sunday mornings spent together in bed, the sound of your laughter filling the air as they chased the kids around the park, the gentle, stolen kisses in the early hours before the world woke up. You had given Natasha a life she never thought she could have, a family she never believed she deserved.

But now, all of that hung by a thread. A thin, fragile thread that could snap at any moment.

Steve stood nearby, his presence a silent offer of support, but Natasha couldn’t look at him. She knew what he would say words of comfort, reassurances that you would pull through, but she didn’t want to hear it. She couldn’t bear the empty phrases, not when every second felt like a countdown to disaster. “Natasha-” Steve began quietly, his voice filled with concern.

“Don’t.” Natasha snapped, her voice sharp, barely able to keep her emotions in check. “Just..don’t.” Steve fell silent, his brow furrowing in worry, but he respected her need for space. He watched as she resumed her frantic pacing, unable to do more than be there for her. He knew Natasha was spiraling, but there was nothing he could say to pull her out of it.

Every time Natasha thought about what had happened, the guilt nearly consumed her. You had taken those bullets for her. And why? Because you believed-no, you knew that the kids needed Natasha more. That they loved Natasha more. That was the brutal truth she could no longer avoid. You had felt like you were losing the children, that they preferred Natasha, and that’s why you did it. The memory of your voice, so weak and filled with pain, echoed in Natasha’s head. “Im so proud of you.”

Those words had been like a knife in Natasha’s heart, cutting deeper with every breath. She had known, in some way, that you had been feeling distant from the kids lately. But she had never realized just how much that distance weighed on you, how much it had pushed you to the edge. You had sacrificed yourself because you thought it was the only way to keep the family together, the only way to make sure the kids wouldn’t grow up without the parent they loved most. And that thought..the knowledge that you felt that way, that you believed Natasha was the better, more needed parent was enough to make Natasha’s breath catch, her heart pounding with guilt and fear.

“What am I supposed to tell them?” Natasha whispered, her voice trembling as she finally stopped pacing and leaned against the wall, slowly sliding down to the floor. She buried her face in her hands, the tears she had been holding back finally breaking free. Steve knelt beside her, his hand hovering near her shoulder, not quite touching. “They love you, Natasha.” he said softly. “They’re kids. They don’t understand-”

“They understand more than you think.” Natasha interrupted, her voice bitter and filled with pain. “They’ve made it clear who they love more. They hardly listen to Y/n anymore. They push her away. And now..now she’s the one lying there, fighting for her life because she thought they didn’t need her.” Steve hesitated, then finally rested his hand on Natasha’s shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. “They’re scared, Nat. They’re kids. They don’t know how to deal with everything that’s happened, and sometimes..sometimes kids take out their anger on the people they love because they don’t know how to handle those feelings.”

Natasha shook her head, tears streaming down her face as she looked up at Steve, her eyes filled with despair. “But what if it’s too late? What if she never hears them say they love her again? What if..what if she-?" The thought was too much for her, and Natasha crumbled, sobbing into her hands as the weight of everything came crashing down on her. You had been so brave, so selfless, and now you were lying on that operating table, your life hanging in the balance, all because you believed you weren’t enough for the family you loved so much.

“I should have done more..” Natasha choked out, her voice breaking between sobs. “I should have made sure she knew how much she meant to me, how much she meant to all of us. I should have..I should have seen how much she was hurting.”

Steve pulled her into a gentle embrace, his strong arms wrapping around her as she cried. “It’s not your fault, Nat." he whispered, even though he knew his words wouldn’t take away her guilt. “Y/n knows how much you love her. She knows how much you need her. That’s why she fought so hard. And that’s why she’ll keep fighting.” But Natasha couldn’t shake the sense of doom that had settled in her chest. She clung to Steve, her sobs slowly subsiding into quiet, painful breaths as she tried to find some strength in his words.

After what felt like an eternity, the door to the infirmary finally opened, and Natasha held her breath. Dr. Cho stepped out, her expression exhausted and serious, her scrubs stained with your blood, a sight that sent a fresh wave of nausea through Natasha. “Hey.” she began softly, gently, as if she feared the wrong tone might shatter Natasha completely.

Natasha pulled away from Steve, got to her feet on trembling legs, and faced Cho, her heart pounding so hard she feared it might burst from her chest. “How is she?” she asked, her voice barely more than a whisper. Dr. Cho sighed, her face reflecting the gravity of the situation. “We were able to remove the bullets and stop the bleeding. But she’s in a coma. Her condition is critical, and we don’t know how long it will be before she wakes up- if she wakes up.”

Natasha felt as if the ground had opened up beneath her. She swayed slightly, her vision blurred as Cho’s words echoed in her mind. “Coma.” The word felt like a death sentence, a slow, agonizing torture she didn’t know if she could survive. “But she’s alive?” Natasha asked, her voice trembling as she clung to the smallest spark of hope. Cho nodded. “Yes, she’s alive. But she’s not stable. It’s a delicate balance, and all we can do now is wait and hope.”

"Wait and hope." The words felt like a cruel joke. Natasha had always been a woman of action, someone who did everything in her power to protect the people she loved. But now, she could do nothing but stand here helpless, while you fought for your life in that cold, sterile room. Steve placed a hand on Natasha's shoulder again, but she pulled away, shaking her head. "I need to see her." she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. "I need to be with her."

Cho nodded, her understanding evident in her tone. "You can see her, but be prepared..she's hooked up to several machines and won't be able to respond." Natasha didn't care. She just needed to be near you, to hold your hand and tell you that you weren't alone, that you were loved, even if you couldn't hear it. Dr. Cho led Natasha into the infirmary, where the steady beeping of monitors and the soft hum of machines filled the air. Natasha's heart broke all over again when she saw you lying there, so still and fragile, your skin pale and lifeless against the stark white sheets.

Slowly, she approached the bed, her legs feeling as if they might give way at any moment. The sight of you, connected to so many machines, was almost unbearable. Natasha had always known you were strong, stronger than you ever gave yourself credit for, but seeing you like this, so vulnerable, tore her heart into a thousand pieces. Gently, she took your hand in hers, feeling the coolness of your skin, the slight tremor running through her own fingers as she held on to you. "I'm here, Y/n.." she whispered, her voice breaking. "I'm right here. Please..please come back to me. The kids..they need you. I need you."

But there was no response, just the steady beeping of the heart monitor, the rhythmic rise and fall of your chest as the ventilator did its work. Natasha sat down on the chair beside the bed, her eyes never leaving your face as she whispered words of love and hope, praying with every fiber of her being that you could hear her, that you would wake up, that they would have another chance to make things right.

The days after your surgery blurred together in a haze of fear and waiting. You remained in a coma, your condition stable but unchanged, and the uncertainty slowly gnawed at Natasha. She spent every possible moment by your side, clutching your still-cool fingers, whispering words of love and encouragement, begging you to wake up. Every day, Natasha brought the kids to see you, a routine that had become her way of coping with the uncertainty. Lila, Jacob, and Mia each dealt with it in their own way, but Natasha knew that being near you, even if you couldn't respond, was helping them process their feelings.

Today was no exception. As they entered the quiet room where you lay, the steady beeping of the heart monitor the only sound, Natasha felt that familiar tug in her chest. She led the children to your bedside, her eyes never leaving your pale, peaceful face. Jacob, who had been standing silently beside Lila, stepped closer, his face twisted with worry. He hesitated for a moment, then placed his small hand on yours, his voice trembling as he spoke. "Please wake up, Y/n.." he whispered. "I..I don't want you to be hurt any longer. We all want you to come home."

Mia, who was clutching a piece of paper in her little hands, stepped forward next. She had been drawing pictures for you every day, leaving them on the nightstand beside your bed, as if they could somehow help you heal. Today, Mia had drawn a picture of her family, a simple, colorful drawing of five stick figures holding hands, with a big, bright sun overhead. Natasha, you, Lila, Jacob, and Mia were all there, smiling and happy. "Look, I made this for you." Mia said softly, her voice full of hope. She carefully placed the picture on the bed next to you. "This is us. See?" Natasha's heart swelled with emotion as she watched Mia interact with you. Mia had been distant for so long, hesitant to build a connection with you the way she had with Natasha. But here she was, so small and innocent, offering you her love and support in the best way she knew how.

As Mia stepped back, Natasha noticed something on the picture that took her breath away. Above the stick figure representing you, in Mia's careful, childlike handwriting, were the words "Mama." "Mia.." Natasha whispered, her voice trembling as she knelt down to her daughter. "Did you write 'Mama' on your picture?"

Mia nodded, her eyes shining with a mix of pride and uncertainty. "Yes.." she said softly. "She's my mama too, right?" Tears welled up in Natasha's eyes, and she pulled Mia into a tight hug, her heart aching with love for her daughter and the woman who had fought so hard to become part of their family. "Yes, she is." Natasha whispered, her voice thick with emotion. "She's your mama too, and she loves you very much. I know she'll be so happy when she sees your picture."

Mia sniffled, nodding as she hugged Natasha back. "I hope it helps her wake up.." she murmured. "Come on.." Natasha said gently, guiding them softly toward the door. "It's time for Mama to rest." As they left the room, Natasha cast one last glance at you, lying peacefully in the hospital bed, Mia's drawing still beside you. The sight of the lovingly written word "Mama" filled Natasha with renewed hope.

In the following days, Lila was constantly drawn to the hospital room. She sat in the corner, watching your motionless form, as your chest rose and fell with each labored breath. At first, Lila kept her distance, arms crossed, her face set in a mask of indifference. But inside, her emotions were a storm, battling between fear and guilt.

One evening, after another long day of waiting and worrying, Lila couldn't take it anymore. She found Natasha in the hallway, looking more exhausted and broken than ever before. Lila's chest tightened as she saw Natasha run a hand through her hair, her usually sharp eyes dulled with sorrow. Lila approached her slowly, her voice trembling as she spoke. "I need to know what happened." she said, her words filled with a desperate need for answers. "You're here every day, and I see you suffering. But I need to know why. What happened that day? What really happened to Y/n?"

Natasha looked at Lila, her heart aching at the pain in her daughter's eyes. She had tried to shield Lila from the full truth, wanting to protect her from the horrors of that day. But she could see that Lila needed to know, that not knowing was eating her up inside. Natasha took a deep breath, nodded, and led Lila to a quiet corner of the hospital where they could talk undisturbed. She didn't know how to start, how to put into words the events that had shaken their lives.

"It was like any other mission..." Natasha began, her voice trembling slightly. "We knew it was dangerous, but we had no choice. Things went wrong from the start, and by the time we realized it, it was too late. We were ambushed, and I..." Natasha paused, her throat tightening as she remembered the moment that haunted her every waking thought. "An agent aimed his gun at me, and I couldn't move..."

Lila watched Natasha closely, her heart pounding as she listened. The image of her mother, the strong and fearless Natasha Romanoff, cornered and helpless. Natasha continued, her voice breaking. "But Y/n..she saw what was happening. She didn't hesitate. She jumped in front of me and took the bullets. She..she saved my life." The words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of the truth. Lila felt the ground shift beneath her as the full impact of what Natasha had said hit her. Y/n had nearly died because she chose to protect Natasha. The realization was like a hammer blow to her heart. "She did that..for you?" Lila whispered, her voice barely audible. "But..but why?"

"Because she loves us." Natasha replied, her voice trembling with emotion. "Because she wanted to protect me, to protect all of us. She wasn't thinking about herself, only about keeping us safe." Lila's eyes filled with tears as she looked away, unable to meet Natasha's gaze. "It's my fault." she choked out, her voice shaking with guilt. "If I..if I had made her feel like she belonged, maybe she wouldn't have felt like she had to prove herself. Maybe she wouldn't have gotten hurt, maybe.."

"Lila, no." Natasha said quickly, reaching out to her. But Lila pulled away, her emotions boiling over. "It's my fault!" Lila cried, her voice rising with the pain she felt. "I made her feel like an outsider! I pushed her away, and now..now she's lying in that bed because of me!" Natasha's heart broke at the sight of Lila's pain, but before she could say anything, Lila turned and ran, tears streaming down her face. Natasha called after her, but Lila didn't stop. She couldn't bear it, couldn't face the reality of what had happened, of what she believed she had caused. Lila ran until her legs gave out and collapsed in a secluded area of the hospital, her body shaking with sobs. She didn’t know how long she sat there, crying into her hands, overwhelmed by the crushing weight of her guilt. All she could think about was how she had pushed you away, how she had refused to let you in, and yet you had sacrificed everything to protect your family..

The next evening, Natasha lay on the small, uncomfortable couch pushed into a corner of the room, her eyes closed, though sleep continued to elude her as usual. Ever since you had been brought here, she had refused to leave your side, sleeping only in short, restless intervals on that couch, always ready to be there if you showed even the smallest sign of waking.

Earlier in the day, Mia had brought you another of her drawings, proudly showing off the colorful picture with "Mama" carefully written above the stick figure representing you. It was a moment of bittersweet hope, one that filled Natasha with a mix of pride and sadness. She had kissed her children goodnight and watched them leave with Maria. Maria had also informed Natasha that Lila was safely in her room and not coming out. As the hours passed, Natasha’s thoughts swirled in a fog of memories and what-ifs. She tried to focus on the rhythm of your breathing, the steady rise and fall of your chest, and hoped it was a sign that you were fighting your way back. But despite her exhaustion, her mind refused to rest, her thoughts repeatedly returning to the same fear. That you might never wake up.

Then, in the silence, Natasha’s finely tuned instincts picked up the faint sound of the door opening. Her eyes snapped open, her body tensing automatically, but she didn’t move. She recognized the sound of those steps, the cautious way they moved across the floor.

Lila.

Natasha forced herself to stay still, to keep her breathing steady, and pretended to sleep as she listened to her Daughter sneak into the room. Lila moved quietly to your bedside, and Natasha heard the soft scrape of a chair being pulled closer to the bed. There was a long pause, and Natasha could almost feel the weight of Lilas emotions filling the room. She kept her eyes closed, her heart clenching as she realized what this moment meant for you both.

“I don’t understand you..” Lila whispered, her voice breaking the silence. She wasn’t sure if you could even hear her, but she had to say it, had to let the words out. “Why did you do it? You barely know us, and I was nothing but a burden.”

She felt the familiar sting of tears in her eyes but blinked them away. “I don’t understand why I matter to you so much.” she continued, her voice trembling. “You keep trying, even when I push you away. You don’t give up on me, even when I’ve been awful to you.” Lila’s voice caught in her throat. “I’m s-sorry..” Then the tears came, hot and fast, and Lila didn’t try to hold them back. She had kept everything bottled up for so long, afraid to let it out, but now she couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“I’m so sorry I pushed you away..” Lila went on, her voice breaking as she spoke. “I was scared, scared that you’d leave if I let you in, just like everyone else. But I was wrong. You didn’t leave. You stayed, even when I was awful, even when I didn’t deserve it.” Natasha bit her lip, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over. She knew how hard you had fought to build a connection with Lila, how much it hurt you that she kept you at a distance.

“I was so stupid..” Lila admitted, her voice shaking. “I wouldn’t let myself love you because I was too scared.” She angrily wiped away the tears, frustrated with herself. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for being so difficult, for not letting you in. I..I just didn’t know how. But I don’t want you to go. I don’t want to lose you.” Lila took a trembling breath, her hands shaking as she reached for your hand. It was warm but limp in her grasp, a reminder of how fragile life is. She gently squeezed it as if willing you to wake up, to respond, to give her a sign that you were still there.

“Please, Mama..” Lila whispered, the word slipping out before she could stop it. It felt strange on her tongue, but also right, as if it had been waiting to be spoken. “I’m so scared of losing you before I ever really showed you.”

There was a long pause, the room filled with the weight of her confession. Natasha’s heart ached for both of you, for you, who had fought so hard to be accepted, and for Lila, who was finally realizing how much you meant to her. And now, hearing her call you “Mama” for the first time, knowing how much it would have meant to you if you could hear it, was almost too much to bear. “You were always my Mama..” Lila whispered, her voice breaking. “I just didn’t know how to say it. I love you, and I need you to wake up. Please, Mama..please wake up. Mom, Mia, Jacob..and I..we need you here.”

For a moment, there was only silence, and then..something changed. A gentle, almost imperceptible movement. Natasha’s heart skipped a beat, her breath catching as she heard a faint rustling from the bed. Lila must have noticed it too because she fell silent, her breath hitching as she looked down at you. “M-Mama?” she whispered, her voice filled with a mix of hope and fear.

Natasha’s eyes widened, her heart pounding in her chest as she saw it..your hand, the fingers twitching slightly. It was small, barely noticeable, but it was enough. Natasha was on her feet in an instant, crossing the room in a fraction of a second. “Lila, stay with her.” Natasha ordered, her voice tense with emotion as she reached for the call button to summon the doctor. “I’ll get Helen.” Lilas eyes were wide, her hand still holding yours, her grip tightening as she saw your eyelids flutter. “Mom..is she..?”

“She’s waking up, Lila." Natasha whispered, her voice trembling with a mix of hope and disbelief. “She’s waking up.” Before she could say more, the door to the room flew open, and Cho rushed in, her face a mixture of professional calm and urgency. Natasha stepped back to give Cho space, but she stayed close, her heart hammering in her chest. Cho leaned over you, her hands moving with practiced precision as she checked your vitals, her eyes fixed on your face. “Y/n, can you hear me? If you can hear me, try to open your eyes.”

For a moment, nothing happened, and Natasha felt her heart clench with fear. But then, slowly, painfully, your eyelids fluttered again, this time with more intent. Your fingers twitched in Lilas hand, and she gasped, her eyes wide with shock and hope. “Mama?” Lila whispered again, her voice trembling.

Your eyes opened just a sliver, your gaze unfocused, but you were trying, trying to come back to them. Natasha felt tears streaming down her face, and she quickly wiped them away, not wanting to miss a single moment of this miracle. Dr. Cho smiled softly, a look of relief spreading across her face. “That’s it, Y/n.” she encouraged. “Keep your eyes open. You’re doing great.”

Your eyes slowly began to focus, your gaze searching the room until it landed on your Daughters face, who was looking down at you with a mix of awe and love. “Hey, Mama..” Lila repeated, her voice breaking as she gently squeezed your hand. “I’m here. We’re all here.”

Your lips parted, and although no sound came out at first, the effort was clear. Natasha watched with bated breath as your gaze finally met Lilas, recognition flickering in your tired but living eyes.. “Lila.." your voice was barely more than a whisper, hoarse from the long silence, but it was the most beautiful sound Natasha had ever heard. Lilas face crumpled with emotion, and she leaned down, gently pressing her forehead against yours. “You’re back. ” She whispered, her tears finally breaking free. “I’m so sorry..I love you so much..”

Natasha covered her mouth with her hand as she tried to hold back the sobs of relief and joy that threatened to overwhelm her. She had waited so long for this moment, had prayed for it, and now that it was finally here, it felt almost too good to be true. Your hand moved weakly in Lilas grasp, your gaze shifting to Natasha, who was looking down at you with love and gratitude despite your exhaustion. “Hey..” you breathed, your voice barely audible.

Natasha stepped forward, her legs trembling as she reached for your other hand. “I’m here.” she whispered, her voice full of emotion. “We’re all here, Y/n. We’re all here, and we’re not going anywhere.” Dr. Cho smiled gently at the sight and stepped back to give the family a moment. “She’s still very weak. She warned gently, "but this is a very good sign. We need to monitor her closely, but it looks like she's going to recover."

Natasha nodded, tears streaming down her face as she held your hand, gently stroking your knuckles. "Thank you." she whispered, though she wasn't sure if she was thanking Dr. Cho, the universe, or you. All that mattered was that you were here, that you had come back to them. Lila stayed close to you, her hand never leaving yours as she leaned in, his her soft and full of emotion. "We missed you. We need you." Your eyes fluttered shut again, your energy spent, but the small smile on your lips told Natasha everything she needed to know. You were going to get better. They were all going to get better.

The morning light gently filtered through the blinds of the hospital room, casting a warm glow over your bed. Natasha sat beside you, holding your hand gently, her eyes still red from the tears of relief she had shed the night before. You were awake, and although you were still weak, you had finally come back to them. It was a miracle Natasha had prayed for, and she couldn’t suppress the overwhelming feeling of gratitude that filled her heart every time she looked at your face.

You stirred slightly, your eyelids fluttering as you squeezed Natasha’s hand. "Morning.." you murmured, your voice still hoarse from the long silence. "Morning." Natasha replied, in an instant. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired.." you admitted, a small smile playing on your lips. "But better..especially because you’re here." Natasha leaned forward and gently kissed your forehead. "I’m not going anywhere." she promised. "The kids will be here soon. They’ve been so worried about you."

As if on cue, the door to the room opened, and the sound of small, excited footsteps filled the room. Mia was the first to burst into the room, her face lighting up when she saw you awake and sitting slightly upright in the bed. "Mama!!" Mia called out, running to the bed with outstretched arms. Before Natasha could stop her, Mia jumped onto the bed, her small body enthusiastically bumping against yours.

You groaned softly in pain, your body still tender and weak from the injuries you had sustained. Natasha’s heart skipped a beat, and she quickly moved to intervene. "Mia, sweetheart, be gentle.." Natasha said softly but firmly, pulling Mia back a little. "Mama is still very sore, okay?" Mia’s eyes widened with concern as she looked at you. "I’m sorry!" she exclaimed, her voice filled with worry. "I didn’t mean to hurt you!" You managed a weak smile and gently ran your fingers through Mia’s curly hair. "It’s okay, darling.." you whispered, your voice soft but full of love. "I’m just so happy to see you."

By then, Lila and Jacob had also entered the room, their faces glowing with relief as they saw you awake and smiling, even though you still looked a little pale. Lila, trying to be the responsible big Sister, held Jacob’s hand as they carefully approached the bed. "Hey, Ma," Lila said, her voice calm but full of emotion. "We missed you." Jacob nodded, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "Yes, Mama.." he echoed, his voice trembling slightly. "We’re so glad you’re awake."

Your heart swelled as you looked at your children, their faces full of love and relief. Hearing them all call you "Mama" was like balm for your soul, healing wounds you had carried in your heart for so long. Mia, eager to show you everything she had worked on, pulled out the stack of drawings she had brought with her. "Mama, I made so many pictures for you while you were sleeping!" she said excitedly, holding them out to you. "Look! This one shows all of us together!"

You smiled warmly, taking the drawings from Mia’s small hands. You began flipping through them, admiring each one and listening as Mia explained the different scenes she had drawn. Each picture was a colorful explosion of love and innocence, capturing the world as Mia saw it. But then your hand paused as you reached a particular drawing, a simple picture of your family, all five of you standing together and smiling. Above the stick figure representing you, in Mia’s careful, childlike handwriting, was the word "Mama."

Your breath caught, your eyes filling with tears as you traced the letters with your finger. It was the first time Mia had called you "Mama" in any form, and seeing it now, so lovingly written in a drawing made just for you, filled you with a deep sense of belonging. "Mia.." you whispered, your voice trembling with emotion. "You..you called me Mama."

Mia nodded eagerly, her face beaming with pride. "Yes! Because you are my Mama!" she said, her voice full of conviction. You felt your heart swell, tears streaming down your face as you gently pulled Mia into a soft, careful hug. "Thank you, sweetheart." you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. "It means the world to me." Natasha, who stood nearby, felt her own tears rising as she watched the scene. It was everything she had wished for, everything you had deserved for so long. Your family was coming together in a way that felt right, in a way that was healing not just you but everyone.

As you continued to flip through the drawings, Mia carefully climbed onto the bed next to you, this time making sure not to jostle you too much. "I’m going to draw you even more pictures.." Mia promised, her eyes shining with love. "I’ll draw as many as you want!" You smiled, your heart filled with love and gratitude. "I can’t wait to see them, darling." you said softly, kissing Mia gently on the head. Lila and Jacob moved closer, both leaning in carefully to give you a gentle hug. "We’re so glad you’re okay." Lila said, her voice quiet and sincere. "We missed you."

"I missed you too." you replied, your voice full of warmth as you looked at each of your children in turn. "I’m so proud of all of you. You were so brave, and I love you more than you’ll ever know." Natasha stepped forward, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, her eyes filled with love and pride. "We’re all so proud of yo.," she whispered, her voice full of emotion. "You fought so hard to come back to us, and now..now we’re finally together."

You looked up at Natasha, your eyes brimming with tears of joy. "I couldn’t have done it without you." you whispered back. "Without all of you." The gentle hum of the medical equipment provided a soothing background as the children reluctantly left the hospital room, guided by Maria. They had spent the morning showering you with affection, and now it was time for Dr. Cho to conduct a routine examination. Natasha watched them go, a small smile on her lips as Mia blew you a kiss from the doorway.

When the door closed softly behind them, the room felt a bit emptier, though the warmth of the morning’s visit still lingered. Dr. Cho entered the room with her usual professional demeanor, her presence a calming anchor amid the emotional turmoil of the past days. “How are we doing today?” Dr. Cho asked kindly as she approached the bed.

“We’re doing good.” you replied with a grin, though your voice was still a bit weak. “I’ve got my whole team here taking care of me.” Dr. Cho smiled as she began her examination, checking vital signs and gently inspecting the wounds. Natasha stood nearby, arms crossed, her gaze fixed on you with a mixture of love and lingering concern in her eyes.

As Dr. Cho carefully removed the bandages to examine the healing wounds, you winced slightly in pain but forced a smile to lighten the mood. “You know, I was thinking..these scars are going to be pretty impressive trophies. I’ll be able to tell the kids I fought off an entire army of Hydra agents.” Dr. Cho chuckled softly as she continued her work. “Well, you certainly earned those scars. But let’s focus on getting you fully healed before you start collecting trophies, okay?”

You grinned, but the playful expression on your face didn’t reach Natasha, who was staring at the wounds, reliving the moment the bullets hit. She could still hear the sound of the shots, feel the panic as you collapsed, blood soaking through your clothes. The memories overwhelmed her. Your body hitting the ground, Natasha’s desperate screams for help, the overwhelming fear of losing you forever. Her breath hitched, and she had to force herself to stay in the present, to remember that you were here, alive, and on the road to recovery.

Sensing the sudden change in Natasha’s demeanor, you looked at her with concern. “Hey, Nat..” you said softly, your voice cutting through Natasha’s spiraling thoughts. “It’s okay. I’m here.” Natasha blinked, returning to the present, and quickly forced a smile, though her eyes were still shadowed by the memories. “I know.” she whispered, trying to sound reassuring, but she couldn’t hide the strain in her expression.

Dr. Cho finished her examination and gently re-bandaged the wounds. “The wounds are healing well.” she said, looking up at Natasha with a comforting smile. “She’s making good progress, but she still needs plenty of rest.”

“Thank you, Helen.” you said, giving a thumbs up, though your attention remained on Natasha. You could sense that something was wrong, that Natasha was holding something back, trying to stay strong. After Dr. Cho left, you looked at Natasha with a knowing gaze. “Come here..” you said softly, patting the spot next to you on the bed. “Lie down with me.”

Natasha hesitated for a moment, but then she nodded, unable to resist your gentle urging. She carefully climbed onto the bed, mindful of your injuries, and settled beside you. You shifted slightly, grimacing in pain, but you wrapped an arm around Natasha and pulled her close. Natasha let out a shaky breath, the warmth of your body grounding her in the present. She pressed her forehead against your shoulder and allowed herself to relax for the first time in days.

You gently stroked Natasha’s hair, your touch soothing. “Tell me..” you whispered. “What’s going on in your mind?” Natasha closed her eyes, taking in your familiar scent, the feel of your heartbeat against her own. “I..I keep seeing it..” she confessed, her voice barely more than a whisper. “I see you getting hit, hear the shots..I was so scared. I thought I was going to lose you.”

Your heart ached at the pain in Natasha’s voice. You held her tighter, your thumb tracing calming circles on her back. “But you didn’t lose me.” you said softly. “I’m here, Nat. I’m right here with you.”

“I know..” Natasha murmured, her voice trembling. “But it’s hard to let go of that. Every time I see those wounds, I can’t stop thinking about how close I was to losing you.” You sighed quietly, understanding the weight of those memories. “You were there for me when I needed you most, Nat. You got me to safety, you made sure I got here, and now I’m healing because of you. We’re going to get through this, okay?”

Natasha nodded, a tear slipping down her cheek as she buried her face in your shoulder. “I was so scared.” she whispered again, the confession coming from a place of deep vulnerability. “But I’m so grateful you’re here.” You kissed the top of Natasha’s head gently, your voice filled with love. “I’m grateful too. And I’m so proud of you, Nat. You were so strong for me, for the kids..I don’t know how I would have done it without you.”

You lay there in silence for a while, holding each other close, finding comfort in the nearness of the other. The trauma of the past days was still there, but in each other’s arms, you both found a sense of peace. After a few minutes, you spoke again, your voice gentle but curious. “How are the kids handling everything? I know they’ve visited me, but..how are they really doing?”

Natasha smiled softly, lifting her head to look at you. “They’re doing okay, all things considered. Lila has been incredible. Shes really stepped into the big sister role and has been taking care of Mia and Jacob. And Mia..she’s been bringing you those drawings every day, you know.” Your eyes softened at the mention of the drawings. “I saw the one yesterday.” you said, your voice filled with emotion. “The one where she called me ‘Mama.’ I couldn’t believe it.”

“She’s been calling you that ever since.” Natasha replied, her heart swelling with love. “And it’s not just her. Lila and Jacob..they’ve started calling you ‘Mama’ too.” Your eyes filled with tears, and you let out a shaky breath. “I never thought I’d hear that from them.”

Natasha smiled, wiping a tear from your cheek. “They love you. They’ve always loved you. I think..I think they just didn’t know how to show it until now.” You nodded, your heart full as you pulled Natasha closer. “I’m so glad I’m here to hear it.” you murmured. “I’m so glad I didn’t miss it.” You lay there for a while longer, wrapped tightly around each other on the small hospital bed, speaking softly about the children, your future, and the love that had carried you through the darkest times. The trauma was still there, but together, you found the strength to face it and heal.

Finally, the day had come. After weeks of recovery in the hospital, you were being discharged. Natasha stood by the window, watching as the morning sun streamed into the room, bathing everything in a golden light. It felt like a new beginning, a second chance you had all been waiting for.

You sat on the edge of the hospital bed, dressed in comfortable clothes Natasha had brought from home. There was a lightness in your eyes that hadn’t been there for weeks, a feeling of relief, of gratitude for the simple fact of going home. Cho had given you the all-clear, though she had thoroughly reminded you that you still needed plenty of rest and care. You were still weak, still healing, but the worst was behind you. Natasha packed up the few things you had accumulated during your hospital stay. A few books, some drawings the kids had brought, and a small bouquet of flowers Steve and the rest of the team had sent. She turned to you with a gentle smile. “Ready to go home?”

You looked up at Natasha, your eyes shining with emotion. “I’ve been ready since I woke up.” you said, your voice warm but tinged with the exhaustion that still clung to you. “I can’t wait to be home with you and the kids.” Natasha stepped closer, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your lips. “We’ve been waiting for this day too." she whispered. “They’re all so excited to have you back.”

At that moment, the door swung open, and the children burst in, their faces glowing with joy and anticipation. Mia was the first to reach you, practically bouncing with excitement. “Mama! You’re coming home today!” she exclaimed, her voice filled with enthusiasm. You grinned, stretching out your arms to embrace Mia, who snuggled against you. “Yes, I am.” you replied, your heart swelling with love as you saw the happiness in your daughter’s eyes. “And I can’t wait to spend the day with you.”

Jacob, with his usual calm demeanor, stepped forward next, his face bright with relief. “I’m glad you’re coming home, Mama.” he said softly, sliding his hand into yours. “We missed you so much.” Your eyes glistened with unshed tears as you squeezed Jacob’s hand gently. “I missed you too, sweetheart.” you whispered. “I’m so happy to be going home with you.”

Lila hesitated for a moment, her expression more reserved, but the emotion in her eyes was unmistakable. Finally, she approached you, a shy smile tugging at her lips. “It’s about time they let you out of here..” She said, trying to keep her tone light, but the relief in her voice was evident. You chuckled softly, “I know, right? I was starting to think they’d never let me go.” Natasha watched the exchange, her heart full of joy as she took in the sight of your reunited family. This was the moment she had been waiting for, the day when you could all be together again, without the shadow of fear hanging over you.

Dr. Cho entered the room, smiling warmly at your family. “Are we ready to go home?” she asked, her voice filled with encouraging brightness. You nodded, taking a deep breath. “More than ready.” you replied, your voice steady. Dr. Cho quickly went over the final instructions, reminding you to take it easy, get plenty of rest, and come in for follow-up appointments. Natasha listened intently, committing everything to memory. She was determined to make sure your recovery at home went smoothly.

With everything in place, Natasha helped you to your feet, supporting you as you took your first cautious steps. You leaned on her, grateful for her steady presence, but also determined to show your strength. You were ready to leave this place behind and begin the next chapter of your life. The children clustered around you, each of them eager to help in their own way. Lila carried your bag, while Jacob and Mia flanked you on either side, their small hands resting on your arms as if they were there to support you.

The walk to the car was slow, but it was filled with a sense of triumph. Every step you took was a victory, a reminder that you had survived the darkest days and were now on the path back to the life you loved.. During the drive home, the car was filled with chatter and laughter. The children couldn’t stop talking about all the things they wanted to do now that you were back home. Family movie nights, picnics in the park, and Mia was especially excited to show you the new drawings she had made just for you.

Natasha kept one hand on the steering wheel, while the other rested on your knee, a silent connection between you. She glanced over at you, seeing you relaxed against the seat, your eyes closed, a content smile playing on your lips. When you finally pulled up in front of the house, the children practically burst out of the car, racing to the front door to open it for you. Natasha helped you out of the car, wrapping an arm around your waist to support you as you walked up the steps together.

The moment you stepped into the house, a wave of relief washed over you. The familiar scent of home, the warmth of the rooms, and the sight of the life you had built together, it was everything you had fought for. Mia immediately grabbed your hand, tugging you toward the living room. “Come on, Mama! I want to show you what I made!”

You laughed softly, letting Mia lead you to the sofa, where you carefully sat down. Natasha was close behind, ready to help if needed, but she was just happy to see you home at last. Jacob ran into the kitchen and quickly returned with a glass of water, offering it to you with a serious expression. “Here, Mama.” he said earnestly. “You should drink this.”

You took the glass with a grateful smile, taking a sip before setting it on the coffee table. “Thank you, Jacob..” you said warmly. “You’re such a good helper.” Lila, trying to maintain her cool demeanor, hung back a little, but the gentle smile on her face betrayed her happiness. “If you need anything, just let me know, okay, Ma?” She said, her voice carrying a note of quiet sincerity.

“I will, Lila.” you replied, your heart swelling with love for your children. Mia climbed up beside you on the sofa, pulling out her latest drawing from behind a cushion. “Look, Mama! I made this last night! It’s our whole family!” You took the drawing from Mia’s small hands, your eyes misting over as you took in the bright colors and happy figures she had drawn. In the center of the picture was your family, all holding hands, with “Mama” written in big, bold letters above your figure.

“It’s beautiful..” you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. “Thank you for making it for me.” Mia beamed, leaning against you and giving you a gentle hug. Natasha sat down beside you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “We’ve got you now.” she whispered, her voice filled with love. “You’re home, and that’s all that matters.” You leaned into Natasha’s embrace, feeling the love and warmth of your family surrounding you. The road to full recovery still lay ahead, but with your family by your side, you knew you could face anything.

As the afternoon wore on, the sounds of life filled the house. Laughter, conversation, and the pitter-patter of the children’s feet as they ran around with renewed energy. And through it all, you felt a deep sense of peace and gratitude. You were home, where you belonged, with the people you loved most in the world. And as the day turned to evening, you and Natasha sat together on the couch, your children snuggled close, and you knew that whatever challenges lay ahead, you would face them together, as a family.

Several months had passed since you had returned home from the hospital, and life had gradually settled into a comfortable rhythm. The scars from your ordeal had healed, leaving only faint marks as reminders of the battle you had fought. Your strength had returned, and with it, the joy of fully embracing your role within your family once more. One Saturday afternoon, the house was buzzing with the energy that only comes when everyone is home and looking for something fun to do together. You, Natasha, and the kids were gathered at the kitchen, ready to tackle a new family activity: making homemade pizzas.

The kitchen island was covered with ingredients, slices of pepperoni, bowls of cheese, fresh vegetables, and various sauces. Lila, who had taken a recent interest in cooking, was carefully spreading tomato sauce over her pizza dough, her tongue sticking out slightly as she concentrated. Mia was excitedly sprinkling cheese on her pizza, making sure every inch was covered, while Jacob, ever the perfectionist, was meticulously placing his toppings in neat rows. You and Natasha exchanged amused glances, both of you reveling in the happy chaos that surrounded you.

"Alright, who wants to add the secret ingredient?" Natasha asked, holding up a small jar of fresh basil leaves. "Me! Me!" Mia shouted, jumping up and down with her hand raised high. "Okay, Mia, you get to do the honors." Natasha said, handing her the jar.

Mia carefully took out a few basil leaves and sprinkled them on top of her pizza, her face glowing with pride. "Now it’s perfect!" she declared. Jacob, not to be outdone, added a few basil leaves to his pizza as well. "I think mine looks pretty good, too!"

Lila, on the other hand, was more focused on making sure her pizza looked like a work of art. She had carefully arranged the pepperoni slices into a smiley face, and as she stepped back to admire her work, she nodded with satisfaction. "Looks great." you said, giving her a thumbs-up. "Everyone's doing an awesome job." Natasha grinned mischievously as she reached for a handful of cheese. "You know what would make this even better?"

You raised an eyebrow, already sensing the playful glint in her eyes. "What?" Without warning, Natasha tossed a handful of cheese at you, laughing as it landed on your head. "A little bit of extra cheese, just for you!" The kids burst into giggles as you stood there, a mock look of shock on your face. "Oh, you did not just do that."

"Oh, I definitely did.." Natasha said, her smile widening. Not one to back down, you grabbed a handful of flour from the counter and lightly dusted Natasha's hair with it. "There, now we match." The kitchen erupted in laughter as Natasha shook her head, sending a cloud of flour into the air. "Alright, now it's on!" she declared, reaching for the bowl of tomato sauce. Before anyone could stop her, Natasha flicked a spoonful of sauce in your direction, but you dodged just in time, causing it to splatter across the countertop.

Mia, eyes wide with excitement, quickly joined in by tossing a few stray pieces of pepperoni at Jacob, who retaliated with a handful of mushrooms. Lila, seeing her opportunity, grabbed a handful of cheese and tossed it at you with a grin. "Sorry, Mama, but I’m with Mom on this one!"

Soon, the entire kitchen turned into a battlefield of food. Cheese flew through the air, flour dusted the counters, and vegetables were scattered across the floor. You couldn’t stop laughing as you and Natasha teamed up against the kids, who shrieked with joy as they dodged and counterattacked with equal enthusiasm. At one point, you found yourself cornered by both Mia and Jacob, who had somehow managed to team up against you. "Surrender, Mama!" Jacob demanded, holding a piece of broccoli as if it were a weapon.

"Never!" you laughed, trying to fend them off with a handful of pepperoni. Natasha, seeing your predicament, rushed to your rescue, pelting the kids with a few extra leaves of basil. "Let your mama go!" she ordered playfully..In the end, everyone was covered in food, and the kitchen looked like a disaster zone. But the sound of laughter echoed through the house, and the sense of pure joy made every bit of mess worth it.

When the battle finally died down, you all collapsed onto the kitchen floor, breathless and laughing. Natasha leaned over and planted a flour-dusted kiss on your cheek, her eyes sparkling. "I think we make a pretty good team.".You grinned back at her, still catching your breath. "The best." The kids were sprawled out around you, all of them grinning from ear to ear. Lila, who was still giggling, looked over at you with a playful smirk. "That was so much fun. We should do this every week!"

Mia nodded enthusiastically, her face smeared with tomato sauce. "Yeah! Pizza wars every Saturday!" Jacob, always the practical one, sighed dramatically. "But we’re going to have to clean all of this up, aren’t we?" You and Natasha looked around at the chaos, and then at each other, before bursting into laughter again. "Yeah, but it was totally worth it." Natasha said, ruffling Jacob’s hair.

"Alright, troops!" you announced, clapping your hands together. "Let’s get this place cleaned up so we can actually eat these pizzas. But first, how about we take a picture to remember this day?" Everyone gathered around, and Natasha set up her phone on the counter, setting the timer. As the camera flashed, you all huddled together, covered in food but filled with happiness.

The pizzas, once they were finally cooked, tasted even better after all the fun you’d had making them. You all sat down together at the table, enjoying the fruits of your chaotic labor, the laughter continuing as you recounted the best moments of the "pizza war." As you looked around the table, at the smiles on your children’s faces and the warmth in Natasha’s eyes, you couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of contentment. These were the moments that made everything worthwhile. The laughter, the love, the togetherness.

Hours later, you stood in the kitchen, watching the late afternoon sunlight filter through the windows, The house was filled with the familiar sounds of life. Mia's laughter, Jacob's chatter, and the soft hum of Natasha's voice as she discussed something with Steve on the phone in the next room. It was a peaceful, ordinary day, the kind you had longed for during those difficult weeks of recovery.

As you poured yourself a cup of tea, you heard the sound of hesitant footsteps approaching. You turned to see Lila standing in the doorway, her expression thoughtful. She had grown so much in the past few months, both physically and emotionally, and you couldn’t help but feel a surge of pride as you looked at her. “Hey, Ma.” Lila greeted you, using the casual nickname she had adopted for you ever since you had come home. It was a sign of the bond that had strengthened between you two..a bond you cherished deeply.

“Hey.” you replied with a warm smile, setting down your cup. “What’s on your mind?” Lila shifted her weight from one foot to the other, a small, almost mischievous smile playing on her lips. “So, um, I was wondering..Some of my friends are going to the movies tonight, and they invited me to go with them. I really want to go, but..well, I figured I should ask you first.”

You raised an eyebrow, sensing there was more to the story. “And why didn’t you go straight to your mom with this?” you asked gently, already knowing the answer. Lila sighed, her smile turning sheepish. “Because I know she’ll say no. You know how strict she is about curfews and all that. But you’re a little more..reasonable.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle softly. Lila knew exactly how to play her cards, and over time, you had learned to navigate the delicate balance between being the understanding parent and maintaining the boundaries Natasha had set. “Well, I appreciate you coming to me.” you said, leaning against the counter. “But you also know that your mom and I are a team. We have to be on the same page when it comes to decisions like this.”

Lila nodded, looking down at her feet for a moment. “I know. But I promise I won’t be out late, and I’ll text you both every hour if you want! I just really want to go..It’s been a while since I’ve hung out with my friends outside of school.” You could hear the sincerity in her voice and saw the hopeful glint in her eyes. You knew how much these moments meant to her, especially after everything your family had been through. You also understood the importance of giving her some freedom to grow and experience life.

“Alright,” you said after a moment’s thought, “I’ll let you go, but you have to promise me a few things.” Lila’s face lit up with excitement. “Anything, Ma! What do you need me to do?” “First, you’ll text both me and your mom when you get to the theater and when you’re leaving.” you began. “Second, you’ll be home by 10:30 at the latest. And third, if anything feels off, you call us immediately. Deal?”

Lila nodded eagerly, a huge grin spreading across her face. “Deal! Thank you, Mama!” The switch from “Ma” to “Mama” was subtle, but you noticed it. Lila had taken to using “Mama” whenever she was particularly grateful or when she really wanted something. It was a small thing, but it made your heart swell with warmth every time she said it.

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.” you said, pulling her into a gentle hug. “Now, go get ready. I’ll talk to your mom and make sure she’s okay with this.” Lila hugged you back tightly. “You’re the best, Mama. I’ll be quick, I promise!” As Lila dashed off to her room, you took a deep breath and prepared yourself for the conversation with Natasha. You knew it might take a little convincing, but you also knew that Natasha trusted your judgment. You found Natasha in the living room, still on the phone with Steve, but she ended the call when she saw you approaching.

“Everything alright?” she asked, immediately picking up on the fact that you had something on your mind. You nodded, sitting down beside her on the couch. “Yeah, everything’s fine. Lila just asked if she could go to the movies with some friends tonight.”

“Did she now? And I’m guessing she came to you instead of me because she thought I’d say no?” You smiled softly, reaching out to take Natasha’s hand. “You know our girl well. She’s eager to go, but she knows how strict you are about curfews and safety.” Natasha sighed, her gaze softening as she looked at you. “And what did you tell her?”

“I told her she could go, but only if she agreed to text us when she gets there and when she’s leaving, to be home by 10:30, and to call us if anything feels off. I know it’s important for her to have some freedom, especially after everything we’ve all been through.”

Natasha leaned back against the couch, her hand still holding yours. “You’re right. I just..I worry about her, you know? She’s at that age where she wants to push boundaries, and I don’t want her to get into any trouble.”

“I know.” you said gently, squeezing her hand. “But she’s a good kid, and she’s been through a lot. She needs to feel like we trust her, and this is a way to show her that we do. Plus, we’ve given her guidelines, and I believe she’ll stick to them.”

Natasha nodded slowly, her expression thoughtful. “You’re right. I do trust her, and I trust you. If you think this is okay, then I’ll support it.” You smiled, leaning in to kiss her softly on the lips. “Thank you, Nat. I know it’s not easy to loosen the reins, but I promise we’ll keep an eye on things.”

Natasha returned your smile, a hint of amusement in her eyes. “You’re really good at this, you know? Balancing everything.”

“I had a great partner to learn from..” you replied, resting your head on her shoulder. “We’re in this together, remember?” Natasha wrapped her arm around you, pulling you closer. “Always.” A few hours later, Lila was dressed and ready to go, her excitement barely contained as she came into the living room to say goodbye. She hugged you tightly, a big smile on her face. “Thanks again, Mama. I’ll text you both as soon as I get there.”

“Have fun!” you said, hugging her back. “And remember, be home by 10:30.”

“I will, I promise!” Lila assured you, before turning to Natasha. “Thanks, Mom. I know you’re just trying to keep me safe.” Natasha smiled, pulling Lila into a hug. “I am, but I also want you to have fun. Just be careful, okay?”

“I will.” Lila promised, and with that, she was out the door, practically skipping with excitement. As the door closed behind her, you and Natasha shared a look, both of you feeling a mix of pride and the inevitable worry that comes with letting your child out into the world.

“You did good.” Natasha said, leaning in to kiss your cheek. “You’re really good at this whole parenting thing.”

“So are you.” you replied, smiling at her. “We’re a team, remember?” Natasha nodded, resting her head against yours. “Yeah, we are.” As the evening progressed, you and Natasha spent some quiet time together, savoring the peace and quiet of the house. The kids were occupied with their activities, and for once, there was no pressing crisis to deal with. It was just the two of you, enjoying each other’s company and the knowledge that, no matter what, you had each other.

Around 9:30, Lila texted as promised, letting you both know that she was on her way home. You could sense Natasha’s relief, and you shared it, knowing that your daughter was safe and had had a good time with her friends. When Lila finally walked through the door at exactly 10:25, you couldn’t help but smile at her punctuality. She looked happy and content, and that was all that mattered to you.

“Did you have fun?” you asked as she kicked off her shoes and plopped down on the couch beside you.. “Yeah, it was great.” Lila replied, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “Thanks again for letting me go.”

“You’re welcome.” you said, ruffling her hair affectionately. “I’m glad you had a good time.” Natasha came over and sat on Lila’s other side, pulling her into a hug. “We’re both glad, sweetheart. Just remember, you can always come to us with anything, okay?” Lila nodded, leaning into the embrace. “I will. I love you, Mom. I love you, Mama.”

“I love you too.” you and Natasha replied in unison, both of you smiling at the bond that had only grown stronger with time.

As the night settled in and the house grew quiet, you couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of contentment. Your family was safe, happy, and together, and that was all you could ever ask for. And in the weeks and months that followed, as the kids continued to grow and thrive, you knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, you and Natasha would face them together, hand in hand, surrounded by the love of your children. The greatest gift you could ever have.

#natasha x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanov x reader #nat x reader #natasha romonova #the avengers #natasha #natasha romanoff x reader

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yeonmuse · 19 days ago

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In which our Alice finds the man she loves so dearly in a place the people call underland

Request from anon: Chosen Journey [ red king guide, pocketclock tether, traveling to through wonder forest and to the red kings palace]

✧ tw. smut & angst (18+ mdni!),readers first time, heeseung worshipping reader, unprotected sex warning mentions of death and ss attempt

Authors notes: req 7 for musies 1k req event. Its been so long since ive got to write some angsty stuff I really hope you enjoy this read, i feel like im a little rusty with the angst but if you love it thats all that matters.

Other reqs can be found here

You’d been fast asleep for god knows how long, back resting against an old willow tree, lips parted as soft snores spilled from your lips with every breath. It wasn’t until you felt someone's hand clasp upon your shoulder and shake you awake that you realized you’d even fallen asleep. As you finally peeled your eyes open you could make out two voices whispering amongst themselves. “Isn’t that-” “it can’t be her she’s not meant to be here yet” “well i’m looking at her right now and it’s definitely her”. Slowly you’d started to adjust your vision until it was no longer a blur, and it was then that you realized you weren’t home? If you were being completely honest you had absolutely no idea where you were.

“You’re awake.’’ the stranger kneeling before you spoke softly, seemingly letting out a relieved sigh before turning to look at another guy that stood behind him. You look around, taking in your surroundings out of hopes of feeling some sort of familiarity or recognition of where you had been but you feel nothing. If this was somewhere you had been before the memory was long gone, buried beneath all the trauma and pain that had slowly started plaguing your psyche for as long as you could remember.

“Who are you…? Where…where am I?’’ you ask, the two standing before you look at one another before the one standing the furthest from you shakes his head as if disencouraging the one kneeling to say anything that mustn’t be said.

“I’m Sunoo..and this is Sunghoon….right now you’re in Underland.’’ the blonde responds, both of them staring at you cautiously as if they needed to walk on eggshells around you, as if there was more to be said yet each of their mouths remained sealed shut in that regard.

“Underland?’’ your reply, brows creasing together in confusion. You’d never heard of the place your entire life, not on any map or through gps, hell you’d never even heard of anyone speak about it.

“It’s where..this is where you go wh-’’ before the man kneeling before you could speak another word, the other that stood behind him all this time finally feels the need to chime in. “Sunoo don’t, if it really is her we should let him see her, he should be the one to talk to her.”

“Okay what’s going on? Can someone just explain how I got here..one moment im…” your voice slowly drifts off and you let out a breathy laugh. “I get it now.. I’m sleeping right now. Lucid dreaming again?’’

Sunoo and Sunghoon share a brief glance, one that had gone unnoticed by you because you had been far too busy trying to convince yourself that what you had been experiencing was not your reality.This was simply your psyche playing tricks on you, something that would happen of since, well since you’d lost someone dear to you. The only difference was this didn't feel like a dream, it felt like a purgatory almost, like you’d been trapped between a world of reality and surrealism.

“You know what i’m probably resting good for once in my life..i’ll just enjoy this while I can.’’ you finally surrender looking over to the two men that were staring at you as if you’d grown two heads.

“Well, are you going to take me to this guy or not?’’ you glance at the both of them expectantly, as if waiting to see which one of them would make the first move.

“Right…come with us.’’ The blonde you knew to be Sunoo turns on his heels and walks away, and Sunghoon follows, both beckoning you to follow them as they disappear past the conglomerate of trees.

It felt like you had walked for hours until the three of you finally stood on the other side of a moat, murky black water, water that looked so dark you were sure if you jumped inside you’d meet no end if you sank to the bottom– and right at the top floating to the surface..severed heads. Your blood ran cold and your body stiffened upon the realization of what it was, this dream was turning out to be more of some kind of nightmare. ‘This isn’t real yn’ you’re forced to keep reminding yourself as the bridge drops down before the three of you and you follow the two men across. You knew this was probably the furthest thing from a smart decision, your mind had been screaming at you to turn around and run away, but oddly enough your body betrayed you, you didn’t feel any fear, nor anguish..you felt oddly calm.

“Do you think he’ll be mad we brought her here?’’ you could hear Sunoo whisper to Sunghoon in front of you. Sunghoon simply sighs and shrugs him off. “It’s not like we’re the ones that brought her to underland..if she’s here then that must mean something is wrong.”

You weren’t sure what any of it meant, who were they talking about and what did it have to do with you?

As the three of you stepped into the castle a cold chill ran up your spine, the place felt cold and daunting. In contrast to its vibrant colors and obnoxious decorum..this place felt oddly lifeless and lonely. Though still you continued to follow them, through the twisted and never ending hallways, up a spiral staircase and into an empty bedroom.

“He’ll be out soon, just wait here.’’ Sunoo says, before he and Sunghoon disappear from the room leaving you unable to utter even one word in response. Once the door shut you were engulfed in complete silence, the type of quiet that seemed so empty it was almost chilling.

You allowed yourself to wander, taking in the minimization of the room, other than a bed, a mirror and a few dressers the room housed nothing else, not a photo or knickknack in sight, not one sense of essence or personality of whoever this guy you were meant to meet.

A sigh spills from your lips as you take a seat on the couch furthest from the bed, placing a pillow in your lap you found yourself absentmindedly fumbling with its loose stitches. Then the sound of a door cut through the silence grabbing your attention, throwing the pillow off to the side you bounced back up onto your feet almost immediately.

Then he walked in, slowly your eyes trailed from the red towel wrapped snug around his waist, to his chest and eventually as your eyes finally found his face amongst your gawking and you completely froze in your place. Eyes glued to him as he stood drying his damp hair with a smaller towel, seeming to not yet have noticed you standing there. Your eyes began to burn with tears, and before you knew it they'd come pouring down your face.

As you let out a sharp inhale heeseung finally seemed to realize there had been someone else other than him in the room. When his eyes fell upon you, eyes locked to him while tears came spilling down your cheeks he’d become lost for words. There was no way that you were here, you couldn’t have been…you weren’t meant to be. Yes he’d been waiting for you there, he promised himself that he would wait there for you forever, but you weren't meant to join him so soon.

“Heeseung..’’ his name fell from your lips and sent a wave of pain through his chest, your once cheerful voice was tainted with despair and disbelief.

“What are you…how are you here.’’ his eyes scanned over every part of you, as if he were capturing a photograph with his eyes, as if he’d never see you again if he didn’t take in ever detail. And then you ran to him, eyes full of tears and nose a complete mess as you wrap your arms around him, completely enveloping him in your warmth.

He wasn’t sure what to do at first, was he to be happy or upset that you were here? Did he comfort you or reassure you?

“I missed you so fucking much.’’ you choke out in between tears, your voice barely coherent as you’d been in between sniffles and coughs.”i don’t care what kind of dream, i don’t care if it’s a nightmare or the weirdest dream possible i won’t wake up. I won’t’’

“A dream?’’ the words spilled from his lips so softly that they’d gone amiss by your ears. So you thought this was a dream.

“Yn..” he calls softly, his breath getting caught in his throat as you stare up at him all doe eyed, with your tear stained cheeks. Even with your face a mess you were just as beautiful as the last time he’d seen you. “Yn do you know where you are right now?’’

“Underland..your friends they told me, well they didn’t really tell me what this place is but i'm sure since it’s my dream that it’ll come to me eventually.’’ you respond, seeming so sure yet so clueless that it broke his heart. It was just as he thought, you had absolutely no idea where you were

“Yn there's something I have to tell you.’’ you stared at him expectantly, he was staring into the eyes of the one person he’d longed to be next to for quite some time now, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to tell her the truth. “You can’t you can’t stay here.’’

Then the smile on your face faded.

“What? What do you mean i can’t stay here it’s it’s my dream..’’

“Just, you need to go. The fact that you’re saying those words tells me everything I need to know you don’t know what's going on here. Who brought you here?’’

“It- it doesn’t matter Heeseung i’m not going.’’ you step back, staring at him with a gaze that burned through him, and he knew it wasn’t going to be easy to get you to go without revealing the truth to you.

“Yn..i’ve missed you, i did but this place you can’t be here?’’

“And why can’t I..? Every passing day all I've wanted to do was see you, you're the only person that keeps me from falling to pieces and if I wake up now, who knows when I'll see you again. I don’t care if I sleep until I breathe my last breath. I won't go. I won’t wake up.’’ and then you looked at him, you looked at him with those eyes that had once made him melt everytime he stared into them, the eyes he fell in love with right before you slipped through his fingertips.

He knew he should have fought harder to send you back, but when he had you standing there staring at him he couldn’t bring himself to yell at you, or scream at you or tell you no. Not when you were standing here before him moments after crying your heart out about how much he’d missed you. His gaze shifts to the clock near the window and a sigh spills from his lips.

“6 hours, you can stay for 6 hours, but then promise me…promise me that if you really think this is a dream you’ll wake up.’’

Then you jumped into his arms, this time as happy as ever, clinging to him as if he’d disappear if you’d dare let him go. “I promise.’’

Then you both pulled away, his hand fell to your cheek and he took his time drinking you in, admiring every part of you that he’d missed.

“I really missed you.’’ he whispers softly, fingers ghosting over your skin through the fabric of your clothes as he rubs gentle circles over your waist.

There was something different in your gaze in comparison to how you once looked at him. Some sort of hidden desire swimming beneath the surface of your doe eyes that he wanted to explore. He’d loved you for years, though the words had gone unsaid by him and eventually he lost his chance.

“Can I..Can I touch you?” he spoke softly, lips only an inch away from your ear. You respond with a nod, his breath against your neck making it hard to form your words into actual sentences. You didn’t care if it was blurring the lines between what was real and what was simply just a lucid dream , all you cared about was that you had him back here, with you. Holding you, touching you, wanting you.

You and Heeseung had known one another for years, since diapers to be exact, your mothers had thought it was the cutest thing how protective you were over one another. Over time that only worsened though, you weren’t sure when the lines of friendship and love had become blurred between the two of you but eventually you’d stopped looking at him as just a friend. By the time you’d gotten ready to tell him that you loved him it had been too late, time had taken him away. But now here he was so lifelike and real, that it made you want to never wake from this dream.

His lips finally attached to your skin, so loving and hot that it made you melt in an instant. With every kiss it was like he was worshipping your body, savoring it in a way that even with time the feeling and taste of you would last forever on his lips.

“Heeseung..”

“Don’t.. just let me..I love you, I’ve always loved you. I may never get this chance again tonight so let me in…let me worship every inch of you as if it’s the last time I’ll ever see you again.” You sucked in a breath at his words, the weight of them crushing you as if gravity had come crashing down from the sky.

“Okay.” The word spilled from your lips so quietly, it was obvious that he’d completely melted you with his words. You were taken by him, completely and utterly taken.

He took his time, leading you to the bed and sitting you down so that he could strip you bare and leave sweet and loving kisses on every inch of you.

“Fuck you’re so pretty my love.” Butterflies, butterflies are what he made you feel, along with the flutter in your chest at the praise and sweet nickname. Then he dove in trailing kisses from your legs, to your thighs, your waist, stomach, breasts— any place you could name even those going unseen even by yourself he’d made sure to love and appreciate.

“Want to worship every part of you like you were always mine.” He whispers, standing up from between your thighs so that he now hovered over you. His fingers tracing circles on your soft skin before he removes the towel from his waist and throws it off some sort of other party of the room.

You let out a sharp breath, this was really happening, you and your best friend, the man you’d loved md for years and never realized loved you back.

“Tell me..tell me if it hurts okay?” And then he eased his way in, splitting you open with every aching inch that made your nails dig deeper and deeper into his skin until he ‘d bottomed out completely.

“You alright angel?” He asks, peppering soft kisses on your face, smiling when you give him a nod.

“I’m fine, I think..I think I’m ready.” You reassure him, and that was all he needed before he’d spend his time completely ruining you.

“So fucking perfect.” he says, eyes struggling to focus on just one part of you. his hands hover just over your waist, tracing circles over eager skin. He didn’t care what the circumstances were after this, all that mattered was that he had you.

The sound of you moaning and panting beneath him, thighs wide spread, knees pressed to your chest, was all enough to throw and sense out the window. Your back arches, lips parting when he sucks lightly under your ear.

You moan his name, soft and shaky, and he absolutely loses it. he leans in, mouth dragging hot and open along your neck, kissing and breathing you in, his lips trembling against your pulse like he’s drunk off you. He murmurs something there, a soft, almost desperate, “my pretty girl.” Before thrusting into you so hard you were seeing stars in the daytime.

His hips rock into you, slow and deep, dragging along every sensitive inch inside you until you’re trembling, mouth parted in helpless moans. He kisses you through it, messy and uncoordinated.

he doesn’t hold back anymore. Every inch of you has been touched by him, his hands, his mouth all have ravished you completely. He has you falling apart entirely, clenching around him with strangled moans, whole body trembling as your orgasm crashes through you, and he follows, grinding into you with desperate and melodic moans, holding you close as he spills into you.

Even as he’s struggling to catch his breath he doesn’t let go. He stays buried deep, fingers tracing over your cheek giving loving strokes.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispers softly, lifting you up and wrapping your legs around his waist before climbing into bed, lying you on top of him.

The two of you lied there for hours, talking for hours on end, watching the sun slowly fall from the sky outside of his window. Then the clock had finally whined down. You lie resting against his chest, his fingers in your hair as you trace circles on his arm with your fingertip.

“You’ll have to leave soon.” He spoke softly, suddenly turning the mood sour and evidently somber.

“Why.. why can’t I just stay here with you.” You respond, at which he sighs and stops combing his fingers through your hair.

“You promised me.”

“Promises are meant to be broken sometimes.” You respond playfully, a sentence he doesn’t find funny in the slightest.

“Yn you need to go.” He responds sternly, suddenly raising his voice which catches you completely off guard.

“You know what no. I won't. Why do you want me to go so badly!?” You yell in response.

“Because I don’t want you to end up like me!” He responds by making you fall silent.

“What..what do you mean end up like you?”

“You know what I mean yn.” That was it, was all he had to say for you to hang your head down and the tears to come flowing in again.

The crash, Heeseung had been gone for quite some time now, it had been exactly two years since he had died and as much as you’d force yourself to try and get over it you never did. You’d found the worst ways to cope, alcohol, pills, weed, you’d even gone as far as trying to down a bottle of alcohol and your pills at the same time, though that didn’t get you very far.

“Don’t make me.. if I wake up now then that means accepting it, accepting that you’re gone..I just..i never felt so alone. Without you with me I don't know what to do or who I am.” You spoke, your voice cracking with each word and it was putting Heeseung through hell to see you fall apart like this.

“You don’t need to be here..I know it’s hard, I miss you too, I’ve loved you for as long as I’ve known how to love someone but it's not time for you to be here.” He spoke, an edge of disdain laced within his time as he forced himself to hold it together. “You have people waiting for you, you still have your life to live.”

“No..i don't. My life ended when I lost you. When you left me my life did end right there.”

“You have to move on, angel you can’t.. you can’t do this to them. They’re waiting for you. You need to go back. To move on and find a way to be happy. Eventually you’ll find your way back to me. Even if you don't, I'll find you in any lifetime.” He reassures, wiping the tears from your face which only makes you cry harder, his touch something you’d longed to feel since before you could remember. This would be the last time you felt that.

“You have to wake up angel.” He whispers softly, pressing loving kisses against your lips and cheeks, ignoring the salty taste of the tears that stained them, “please wake up.”

Then as you close your eyes to rest your forehead against his something shifted, you feel the warmth of a blanket wrapped around you and the softness of sheets below you. As your eyes fluttered open you could hear the faint chime of a heart rate monitor fill the room and the silent him of an air conditioner. Through blurred vision as you turned to your right you could make out the silhouette of a person fast asleep sitting up in a chair. Your mom.

“No..no no no.” Tears sting your eyes, you screw them shut in a desperate attempt to force yourself back to sleep but it was of no use you were wide awake.

Giving in and surrendering to the fact that you’d already lost those moments you stare up at the ceiling tears spilling from your eyes.

“Please, please don’t leave me here alone.” You choke out, your words so faint that they hadn't gone unheard by your mom that immediately jumped from her seat. Tears poured from her eyes as she ran to call the nurse.

Two months , you had been in a coma for two months, what felt like 6 hours to you had been 2 long months for your family. The doctor had declared you as dead at one point, your heart stopped for 30 seconds and in that time you’d fell into some sort of purgatory state.

“She’s not supposed to be here yet.” Sunoo, Sunghoon and Heeseungs words hit you like a truck. You’d finally realize what they meant by those words, you weren’t in some sort of lucid dream state, you’d died and if it wasn’t for Heeseung forcing you to wake from the dream you were so eager to remain in, you’d have been lost…just like he was lost to you

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luigilore · 2 months ago

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scott street- l.m

It's been four years since you've last seen Luigi. You run into him and things have changed...

(a/n: huge thank you to this anon for changing lives with this idea! this is a part two to my fic lovefool <3 i wrote this in one sitting so... lmk if u want another happier ending lol... also ofc the title is from the phoebe bridgers song, 1.2k wc)

At first, you don't recognize him.

But it's hard not to. Luigi doesn't look that different. Older, more mature, hair a bit shorter and face a bit thinner— but he still looks like himself. He still looks like your Luigi.

You don't know what to do. It would be easiest to duck through the isles of the quaint bookstore you're in. A hole in the wall that you discovered with Luigi years ago. Strolling the streets hand and hand and wandering into different stores. You would spend hours here together, laughing at niche books you discovered together. He would always look at you with so much love that it was obvious and it almost embarrassed you, you knew he always loved when you let yourself have a break like this.

You always loved this bookstore— that’s why you’re here now; desperate for a reprieve from real life, from your sterile apartment and the infinite grind of rehearsals.

But this is no reprieve, Luigi is in front of you, years after you broke up for the final time, since the last time you've seen him; wearing a gold wedding band and gently bouncing a baby against his chest.

Even though you knew he was still in the city, you never expected to see Luigi again. You lived entirely different lives and that’s why it didn’t work in the first place. After months and months of letting him fuck you, hold you, even though you weren't together anymore, you knew you finally had to end whatever you had with Luigi.

It was eating away at you jeopardizing your career, hurting you. When you pushed him away for the last time, you always secretly hoped he would contact you somehow, show up at your apartment, and fight for your love and relationship like he always so fervently had. But Luigi respected your decision, your tear stained cheeks and heaving chest as you tell him We have to stop.

And so he does.

And you do too. You throw yourself back into ballet entirely and Luigi becomes a distant memory, something, someone, you felt lucky to experience but you knew you never truly deserved or could preserve.

Now, you internally debate speaking to him or pretending you didn't see him but Luigi makes the decision for you, meeting your eyes as recognition and love flashing across his face with a smile; calling your name in a way you haven't heard in years.

You're both not that much older now, not even four years had passed but it felt like an entirely different lifetime.

“Wow, it’s great to see you,” Luigi says with a smile and you try to find the right words and can’t. "You look great," he continues as his attention is drawn away from you to his child, gurgling and making Luigi smile and shift him in his strong arms.

"Who's this?" You ask weakly and he grins proudly, "Nicholas, he’s seven months.”

The baby looks like Luigi in a very unfair way, dark eyes and tufts of hair. Actually, the entire interaction feels unfair. You feel like you've had the wind knocked out of you. You try to smile at his baby's sweet laugh and chubby arm leaving his father's chest to reach out to you.

“We’re trying to read to him early,” Luigi explains, like he has to defend why he’s here of all places.

The offhanded mention of We, the implication of his wife, makes you swallow thickly and try to think of any excuse to get out of the conversation. It feels like every lingering doubt, every insecurity you've felt since you broke up for good, is bubbling to the surface in an overwhelming and consuming and devastating way.

"He's precious," you manage to get out, because it's true. "He looks like you," you finish, partly fishing for any small talk you can muster and also because Nicholas truly does. Luigi just smiles proudly, "Yeah, that’s what everyone says."

He asks how you’ve been and you feel embarrassed even though you can list accomplishment after accomplishment in your career. He asks about the current performance, and says he saw something about the Swan Lake show online. It makes you wonder if he ever thinks about you, if you ever randomly cross his mind.

You say you’re okay- because that’s the truth and he smiles a bit sadly and you both stand there a bit in silence. Like there's something to say but neither of you can quite grasp. You feel like an intruder, intruding on Luigi and his baby- his family. You wonder where his wife is, who she is.

“I’m glad you’re doing well, ___,” He says eventually. “Really.”

“Thanks,” you say meekly and feel entirely overwhelmed.

"Don't be a stranger," he says suddenly, breaking the thick the silence that seems to inherently envelope the two of you. You just smile and nod, knowing that neither of you actually expect to stay in touch. You only say goodbye and wonder if Luigi felt similarly affected.

You can't help but turn around one last time to watch him leave. But you only catch his eye again as he turns your way too. Luigi looks a bit embarrassed, like he was caught and turns away for the final time.

When you get back to your dark apartment, you can't find the energy to make dinner or even start the dishwasher. You dazedly curl into yourself in bed, thinking about what could have, should have, been. You never find yourself missing what you don't have but Luigi was always able to instill in you something you'd never felt before.

Maybe it's a bit self assured to think that if you hadn't finally cut him off, you would eventually have a family. Or maybe that was never possible between the two of you.

But then you think about the way you and Luigi would so often talk about children when you were together, filling your head with thoughts of an incredibly wholesome future together and making your heart unfairly twist in excitement and want. He’d always inevitably ask you in a quieter voice if you think he’d be a good dad. And you always told him yes between sweet kisses to his jaw.

You don't remember falling asleep and wake up to your daily 5 am alarm for rehearsal; still in your clothes from yesterday, mascara smeared underneath your eyes from silent tears. You wipe your face a bit roughly, staring at your tired, bleary eyes in the mirror and start getting ready for the day.

#luigi mangione x reader #luigi thoughts #luigi mangione fanfic

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zorosangell · 6 months ago

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hey! i've been thinking this christmas eve about where zoro and the reader spend their first christmas together. zoro still didn't understand the dynamics of a couple having never had one, so nami explains to him and tells him that since it's almost christmas he has to give her a gift. he didn't really know what to give her so he buys her a necklace with a sword pendant. Then the reader gives him several things as gifts and zoro feels bad for only giving him a small gift but the reader shows him that it's enough and shows him his love with a sinful night 👀 i know it's a bit long but i haven't been able to get this idea out of my head. thanks

⛥ﾟ・。 mistletoe

synopsis: nami has to school zoro in the art of gift-giving in order to save your first christmas together. luckily, he manages to wise up... and gives you a gift you won't ever forget.

cw: fluffy fluff, comfort, zoro is a lovable idiot, classic case of right idea wrong execution, christmas mentioned (duh), nsfw implied, what would we do without nami, this kinda combined two asks i got into one, anon u know who u are here you go <3

a/n: I AM SO SORRY IVE BEEN GONE! LIFE HAS BEEN UGH LATELY! enjoy this early holiday present as an apology <3

"YOU ABSOLUTE MORON!" Nami shouted, furious, as she punched the swordsman right the head, leaving a large welt in her wake. "I OUGHTA KICK YOU INTO NEXT WEEK!"

Zoro's eye shot wide, confused—and severely pained—as his hand snapped up to rub the afflicted area, forcing him to snap his head over to her.

"What did I do?!" he barked, thoroughly annoyed.

"Somehow, you always find a way to make it a matter of what you didn't do!"

With a sigh, Nami pinched the bridge of her nose, muttering a few curses under her breath as she marveled at the absolute stupidity of the man walking next to her.

Sometimes, she wondered if he did it on purpose.

"What?!" Zoro asked, snappy and sarcastic. "What did I mess up now?!"

"Christmas!" Nami exclaimed, exasperatedly. "One of the easiest holidays to get right!"

"How the hell did I mess up Christmas?!"

"How the hell did you forget to get your girlfriend a present?! On your first Christmas together, no less?!"

The navigator couldn't believe his ignorance, still disbelieving of the whole thing.

"So..." Nami smiled as she turned to the swordsman, intrigued. "What did you get (y/n) for Christmas?"

Zoro glanced around, eye focused on the snowy road ahead and the festive town surrounding the two as they walked side by side.

"What are you talking about?" he scoffed, confused. "Get her what?"

Concerned, Nami stopped in her tracks, completely forgetting about where they were supposed to be going.

"Her present," she emphasized, suspiciously. "I asked what you bought her for Christmas."

Zoro's brow quirked in confusion.

"Bought?"

Worry slowly began to creep into the navigator's chest, her brows slowly furrowing into a scolding expression, faintly hoping for a miracle

"You bought her something for Christmas... right?"

But the silence that followed told her everything, the wintery scene around them fading as he found her fist flying toward his head.

"I didn't forget anything!" Zoro defended, fervently.

"And pigs can fly!" she scoffed, rolling her eyes as she glanced up at the sky with a sigh. "It's strokes of genius like this that force me to swoop in and save your relationship nearly every month..."

"I! DIDN'T! FORGET! ANYTHING!"

"Oh, then please inform me as to why it is nearly sunset on Christmas Eve, and you have yet to buy your kind-hearted, loving girlfriend a Christmas present!"

"She never told me what she wanted!"

Nami froze, her face and body turning completely numb as the words hit her ears.

'...Is he serious?'

If he was, she was going to hurt him.

"I've been waiting for (y/n) to tell me what she wants for months! I even saved up so I could get her whatever it was without any issues," he explained himself, showing proof by pulling a fat stack of berries out his coat pocket, its contents worth at least a hundred-thousand.

Nami's eyes widened.

She'd never seen him save so much.

Maybe there was hope.

"But when she didn't come around to tell me, I assumed she didn't want anything. So I kept it."

'Nevermind.'

She was going to hurt him.

Using her large, handheld wallet like a newspaper, she whacked him in the nose, wagging her finger and sucking her teeth like she was scolding an animal.

"OW!"

"Bad boyfriend," she shook her head. "She shouldn't have to ask. As her better half, or maybe lesser in this case, you should know her like the back of your hand. And thus, know what she wants as a present."

Zoro paused, taking a moment to process her words before his face lit up in realization, the concept finally clicking in his mind.

"Oh, I get it," he nodded, hand coming to rest pensively on his chin. "Because I know her best... I already know what she wants."

She cheered, happily clapping her hands together as a smile broke out on her face.

"You're learning!"

But her expression quickly shifted into one of fury, her brows furrowing as she pointed toward the road.

"NOW GO GET HER SOMETHING BEFORE ALL THE STORES CLOSE!"

"SHIT!"

"Should I be worried?" you asked, amused, as your moss-headed boyfriend hastily lead you over the threshold of the bathroom.

He was uncharacteristically smiley, and uncharacteristically eager as he positioned you in front of the mirror, using your hips as handles to practically plop you down in front of it.

"Only if you wanna," he answered, a slight grin rising to his lips. "But personally, I'd be preparing myself. This is gonna blow everyone else's gifts out the water, and I'd hate to have ya faint from shock."

"Hardy har..."

On the deck below, the Strawhat's First Annual Christmas Party was in full swing, music and laughter filling every nook and cranny of the ship as Brook, Usopp, and Franky serenaded the crew with their very own carols.

The smell of fresh baked cookies and gingerbread managed to waft their way to the upper levels, Luffy and Chopper in the kitchen pounding back cookies just as fast as Sanji could make them.

You, Nami, and Robin had gone into town earlier and bought matching outfits, the three of you decked out in cute, Santa mini-dresses with the hats and boots to match.

Safe to say, the night was looking up.

And it was only supposed to get better from there...

"Alright, close your eyes," Zoro ordered, turning around as he rummaged in his pocket.

"Now I'm really scared," you teased, your hands coming up to cover your eyes with delightful anticipation.

Zoro was never big on surprises, so to see him go through such lengths could only mean that whatever he was about to give you was really good.

"Gimme a sec," he grunted, still fumbling around. "Can't get this stupid latch open."

Big fingers... small clasp...

Your brows quirked at the word, confused.

'Latch?"

"Got it," he nodded, quickly bringing it around your neck and pulling it together in the back.

Taking a moment, he fooled with the damned thing once again before he finally got it secure, a proud smile rising to his face.

"Alright, open 'em."

Slowly opening your eyes, you gasped at the sight in the mirror before you, hands snapping up to your mouth in surprise.

"Oh, my Gods!"

Resting gracefully on your chest was a glittering, gold pendant of three swords, their handles conjoined at the tip and hung carefully on the chain around your neck.

They were the same gold as his earrings, matching so perfectly you'd think they all came together in a set.

Absolutely breathtaking.

"Zoro..." you marveled, turning to look at different angles. "It's beautiful!"

He crossed his arms over his chest, a proud smirk on his lips at your happy expression.

"You like it? It's one of a kind," he nodded. "The jeweler said this was the only one ever made."

"I love it!" you squealed, turning around and tossing yourself in his arms, the man unable to fight off his smile as you peppered his face with kisses. "Thankyouthankyouthankyou!"

Slightly pulling back, you flashed him a cheeky grin, staring deeply into his steel grey eyes as he rested his hands on your hips.

"How do I look?"

His gaze trailed down from your face to your chest, where the pendant sat just above your cleavage, almost like a badge of honor.

"Like mine," he stated, shamelessly, quickly moving to capture your lips in a kiss.

"Wait, wait, wait!" you cheesed, your hand covering his mouth as you pointed to the ceiling. "We have to do this nicely! Look at what we're under."

Glancing up, the swordsman's eyes landed on the minty green of a mistletoe, which was hung directly above you and tied with a nice, silk ribbon.

But he didn't give two shits.

Pulling his mouth away from your hand, he fixed his eyes on you with a look of hunger, completely disregarding the tradition.

"There's only one thing I'm doin' nicely..." he smirked, quickly swooping in to assault your neck before taking you down to the bathroom floor.

"Zoro!" you squealed, your hands grasping his broad shoulders as he pinned you to the ground.

It wasn't long before your shrieks of amusement turned into cries of pleasure, which were, thankfully, drowned out by the festivities going on outside.

Your swordsman had easily made this the best Christmas to date, something thoroughly appreciated given his usual hard time with gifts and grand gestures.

Not only did you get the best gift you'd ever received... but you also made a new Christmas tradition.

One that had Robin planning for onesies in next year's gift exchange.

#zorosangell #one piece #one piece x reader #roronoa #roronoa x reader #roronoa zoro x reader #roronoa zoro #zoro #zoro x reader #op

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a-spes · 9 months ago

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Hi I was rereading devious lies and I was thinking ab if nat and yn were to meet again and everything, yn would have the biggest trust issued ever. First her best friend took advantage of her and ruined her life, then the ones she considered family turned their backs on her without even letting her explain her side, and ofc how her lover shouted in her face that she's not welcome there anymore and how yn shouldn't even talk with her anymore ever. How the last time the team looked at her it was with anger and dissapointment That and also from the first part where she herself admitted to feeling like a stranger amongst her once friends and family.

Idk what you have in store for us for when you're feeling better and out of the writing block that you're currently experiencing, but I can't wait to read it. Take as long as you need, we're here!

˚ 　 ⋆ ⁺ ₊ ✦ ⁺ ₊ 　 ˚ 　. ˚ . 　 ☁ . 　　. 　 ˚ 　⁺ ₊ ⁺ ✦ 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖘 𝖎𝖓 𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖘 ₊ . 　 ˚　. ✧ ⁺ ✦ ₊　　 ☁ ˚　 . ⁺ ₊ ✧ ˚　 . 　 ˚　 ⁺ ₊ ˚

₊ ⁺ ✦ ₊　　 ☁ 　˚　 . 　⁺ ₊ ✧ ˚　　 . 　 ˚ ˚ 　. ☁ ˚ 　. ˚ 　 ✩ ₊ ˚ . ☾ ⋆ ⁺ ₊ ✧ 　　˚ ⁺

˚　 . ⤳ DEVIOUS LIES — Bonus part, 'the scars in our hearts' (6.280 words).

⋆ ⁺ ₊ ✧ ⤳ SUMMARY — Anon request — “ It has been years since the events, and when you eventually got the chance to go back with them, you thought everything would be the way it used to be. except it wasn't. three years, almost four, is a lot of time, and the people you used to know and the building you called your home do not feel the same anymore. Maybe you've been gone for too long to hope to find a place in their new life. ”

. ☁ ˚ ⤳ TAGS & WARNINGS — Natasha Romanoff x Reader, Avenger!Reader, Female!Reader, Other Avengers x Reader (brief mention of them). Bittersweet, (kind of) angst with comfort. Self-doubt, mental health issues, mention of bad coping mechanisms, toxic relations.

˚ . ⤳ MOODBOARD ⊱⋆⊰ MASTERLIST ⊱⋆⊰ TO SAY SOMETHING ✦ Part one. Part two. Part three. ⊱⋆⊰ the scars in our hearts.

˚ 　 ⋆ ⁺ ₊ ✦ ⁺ ₊ 　 ˚ 　. ˚ . 　 ☁ . 　　. 　 ˚ 　⁺ ⁺ ✦ ₊　　 ☁ ˚　 . ⁺ ₊ ✧ ˚　 . 　 ˚　 ⁺ ₊

You’ve been told that you just needed a bit of time to adjust, because you come a long way, but they didn’t say how long ‘a bit of time’ was. So the months passed, they soon became years, and if you’ve still made no progress, you kept hoping. Every day, you repeat yourself that you only need ‘a bit more of time’ and that, soon, with just a little extra effort, everything will eventually be fine.

Except that you’ve never been a patient person.

They made it sound easy. They made you believe that everything would go back to the way it used to be in weeks, and you’ve fallen for their sweet words because you were craving for them to be true. You have dreamed of that moment, and every day you’ve spent far from them was spent thinking about the day they would ask you to come back. It is a little fantasy you’ve been holding on to for the past few years, but the tears, hugs, and excuses you’ve spent hours to imagine never became a reality. No, you only got silent glances.

It has been almost three years since you came back, and it still wasn’t enough. Sometimes, you think about letting go of that dream of yours, the one that makes you believe that things could still get back to normal, even when nothing was —; but how could you do something like that? How could you possibly think about abandoning them again when they’ve been willing to give you a second chance? You weren’t ready yet to accept that the home you’ve been longing to return didn’t feel like it anymore, at least not without first trying your hardest to make things right. Thus you kept pushing yourself a bit more everyday, at the cost of your health — which seemed a very small price to pay in exchange for the feeling of being at home again.

Two years is not a lot of time in a human life but these years still felt like an eternity to you, and you’ve never been so aware of how long they have been as when you came back, realizing the gap that had opened up between you and the others. Your life has fallen apart that day, leaving you with such small pieces of yourself that you weren’t able to rebuild on your own —; but them? It is as if they’ve lost nothing. They’ve spent those two years building a life in which you’ve never existed, one that you are now supposed to find a place in. Every day is just a painful reminder of what you have lost, and will never get back despite your hopes. Your dream slipped away just when you touched it with your fingertips.

You have to accept that you are not a part of the system anymore, you are just the pebble that derails the machine, and that ruins everything —; but you should be used to it, shouldn’t you? To that feeling of shame and sorrow that your heart has been carrying for years, that feeling of failure and permanent disappointment.

Some nights, out of habit, you push the wrong door, and you find yourself in the room you used to share with Natasha. Once full of life, it had now become austere. Yet, there is something comforting about being in that room full of old memories, it is a bittersweet feeling that’s both like a heartbreak and a warm hug. You've never been much of a drinker, or at least you've always been careful enough not to get wasted. But you’ve made an exception tonight, because everything seemed to be too much, and you wouldn’t have survived the party if you hadn’t drowned everything in alcohol.

It is the way they kept laughing that got on your nerves, jealousy rising inside of you every time a new joke was told that you couldn’t understand “because you weren’t here” —; but Wanda wasn’t here either, and yet, she laughed along with them, why? Because she hasn’t lost her place with them, she is still a part of the family. They promised that they would tell their stories and explain their jokes later, because it was too long to do it now, but you were aware that it was just a lie to give you the impression that you weren’t on the sidelines.

It wasn’t very effective.

They spent the whole night telling stories that you couldn’t understand and sharing jokes you couldn’t laugh at, and while they remembered things that you didn’t have a chance to live by their side, giving you an overview of all the things you’ve missed, you were silently sitting on the couch, trying to ignore the knot in your throat. You didn’t even try to take part in the conversation —; what could you possibly have said anyway? You are not sure they would have wanted to hear about how miserable your life was when you were gone, how lonely and desperate you’ve been during these years. It would be an admission that you missed them, needed them.

Instead you kept your attention on the bottles of alcohol, at least they would never let you down —; that’s the advantage when the parties are organized by someone like Tony: you will never run out of booze. You were so uninvolved in what was going on around you, that you missed the worried glances that Natasha and Wanda shared, and they didn’t need to talk to understand each other, to know that they both had the same concerns.

Everyone does, but you’ve made it clear in your first few weeks back that you didn’t want their pity. There was no comfort in the way they looked at you and, quickly, their presence became too much. They were always there, never letting you completely alone despite the appearance and trying to meet your needs before you could even ask, pretending that they knew better than you do —; but they don’t. They have no idea of what you need, because how could they when you’re not even sure yourself?

The loneliness you’ve asked for isn’t more comforting, but at least it comes with familiar feelings, some that you’ve learned how to deal with the past few years. On the contrary, you still hadn’t gotten used to their presence, and you had no idea of how to deal with these contradictory feelings that were starting to grow inside of yourself. While a part of you wanted to lean in their embrace, the other rejected their overwhelming affection. A way of protecting yourself that won out, taking the form of uncontrolled anger and, after days of being yelled at and random objects being thrown at their faces, they’ve eventually got the hint that they should let you alone.

They’ve given up on you —; but that’s exactly what you wanted, isn’t it?

You can’t be sure, but you are trying to convince yourself that it is better that way. You’re not worth the trouble, and they definitely can’t spend all their energy trying to save you when people are actually dying outside. You would be fine, you would get through it —; right? Because that’s what you’ve always done, and there is no reason that this time would be any different —; you are strong, with or without them by your side. You just need a little bit of time for your scars to heal and then, everything will be back the way it used to be.

Except that, despite the appearances, those thoughts never really left your mind. Sometimes, you think about your return and what would have happened if they hadn’t found you that day —; maybe everything would have been easier. For you, sure, but also for them. You are not even sure they would have accepted your return if they had a choice —; you wouldn’t have. At least when you weren't there, there wasn't that constant tension that now reigned over the tower, one that followed you into every room you set foot in.

So you’ve made a decision —; you would rebuild yourself without them. You would make a new name for yourself, a new life, even if it means leaving them behind. There is this growing will deep inside you, the one that feeds off your anger and jealousy, and it’s the one to get your revenge. You want them to suffer as much as you have, to realize what they’ve done, and regret every of their actions. You want them to crawl back at your feet, begging for your forgiveness because you are tired of being the only one to make efforts.

You have waited so long for them to say or do the right thing, but the moment has never come because they can’t possibly understand your situation, let alone knowing what you really need to get better —; how could they when you ignore it too? Nothing feels right anymore. You have tried a lot of things but nothing works. Your life is now like a jigsaw puzzle whose pieces refuse to fit together. There is no way to make things go back the way they were, you could only keep on pretending.

And so you did, locking yourself into a routine. Each day you alternate between training, going on missions or attending meetings, leaving yourself little free time. This hectic schedule has the advantage of allowing you to avoid the presence of others and keeping you from thinking too much while making you more efficient —; it is perfect, isn’t it? It is, most of the time but, some days, the illusion falters, and the facade you’ve built shatters, revealing the truth you are trying to hide.

That’s how you found yourself stumbling into your old bedroom, the one that now smells of dust, desperate for some comfort and familiarity. You didn’t even make it to the bed, falling miserably asleep on the carpet —; you didn’t have the strength to get up when you tripped over your own feet, too drunk to take more than a few clumsy steps.

⊱ ★ ⊰

There is only one person in the team who is willing to give you the space you asked for without agreeing to give up on you yet —; and it is Natasha.

You may not notice it, but the woman has always been here for you since you came back to live with them. It must be said that her gestures are minute, almost imperceptible, but they always manage to draw a slight smile on your lips without you realizing it —; she was perfectly aware that if you knew it was from her, you would start hating on those little things that made your daily life at the tower a little sweeter.

She is the one who always accidentally cooks more food than she needed, making sure there was always a portion waiting for you in the fridge. She is the one who makes sure that your favorite cutlery is always clean. She is the one who buys your favorite flowers to put them in the common room’s vase and never lets them fester. She is the only one who has taken the time to make you feel at home with a bunch of details that are so insignificant that you’ve barely noticed them.

But at least it helped soothe the guilt her heart carried, because these actions are proof that she was fulfilling the promises she had made to you a long time ago, in the secrecy of the night, under a starry sky, whispered words that has been immediately blown away by the wind —; “I’ll always be there for you,” she had said. “Promise?” you’ve asked, your eyes full of hope. “Promise,” she had replied before your lips touched, sealing the contract.

One she broke years ago, when she dragged you out of the tower without letting you a chance to explain yourself. The woman is perfectly aware that flowers and some meals won’t be enough to earn your forgiveness, but she still made it her mission to look after you from afar —; because if she doesn’t, who would? You don’t let anyone get close to you, and the others haven’t looked any further, giving up at the first sign of trouble. She doesn’t blame you for not trusting her, or the other members of the team, she just wishes that you would accept at least one of their helping hands.

But you’ve rejected everyone.

Even Wanda, with whom you seemed, at one time, to be getting on well which had given the redhead hope. Those hopes had been shattered the day you violently pushed the witch away without any clear explanation, and the woman blames herself for that, for not knowing what to do in order to help you —; because she should know, right? That’s her role, the promise she had made years ago.

If she can’t, if no one can, what will you become?

You may be able to fool everyone, including yourself, into thinking that you are fine, but you won’t get her to fall for your little tricks. She knows the truth. She can see it in your fake smiles, she can read it in your tired eyes. She knows you by heart, she hasn’t forgotten those years spent by your side, and she has become a master at spotting your bad habits and the sublet signs that accompany them.

So, tonight, she couldn't have possibly missed how firm your grip has been on the bottles of alcohol, nor how quiet you've been the whole time. But it is only when she saw the door to your old bedroom ajar that she understood the extent of your pain. You were hitting rock bottom, you would have never set foot in this room full of memories otherwise. She knew this because she, too, avoided it like the plague, and hadn’t dared return in it since that day, not even to empty it. For five years, it had remained the same.

The woman is willing to give you the space you asked for as long as you are taking care of yourself, it is the silent promise she made, but it is obvious that you have failed to do so lately as she has seen you slowly falling back into your old habits. The ones she thought you had left behind, the ones she had helped you to overcome years ago. She is ready to accept that you could build a life without her, it is a cost worth paying if it’s the one to your happiness, but you haven’t built anything lately. Nor have you been happy, and she couldn’t bear anymore the sight of you destroying yourself, again.

The redhead is tired of the situation. She is annoyed that everyone is playing your games by pretending that everything is fine because it only encourages you down this dangerous path, one that may cost your life one day. She is angry with anyone who takes the easy way out, because it is obvious that it is easier to act as if all that history belonged to the past rather than acknowledge their mistakes.

At first, she had agreed to play along, but it was only because she thought that it was what you needed and that, when you were ready, you would talk to them. Except that it has been a bit more than two years, almost three, since they brought you back, and you still haven’t told a word about it. The woman didn’t know how long she would be able to put up with your silence on this story and your obvious discomfort.

But it seems that the sight of you asleep on the dusty carpet of the room you once shared was the last straw for the woman who decided to step in. You are probably going to hate her tomorrow, but she doesn’t care —; she is not even sure you could possibly hate her more than you already do. She would rather know that you are safe, even if it means losing you a little more so she decides to call your name multiple times.

It is the sound of her voice who wakes you up. It doesn’t matter how deeply asleep you were because you can’t ignore her when she practically screams out your name, and you are inevitably roused from your slumber. When you opened your eyes, a growl escaping your lips to signal your displeasure, all you could see was a blurred figure with red hair that could only belong to one person. One you could recognize anywhere.

‘What are you doing?’ she asked, a mixture of annoyance and concern tinged her voice, but you weren’t aware enough of your surroundings to notice it. Maybe if your hand hadn’t been so heavy on the alcohol, then you would have noticed the tone of her voice.

‘I am sleeping, can’t you see?’ you grumbled, but as soon as the words escaped your mouth, the frustration was replaced by a laugh —; this question was stupid, you realize. Isn’t she supposed to be a trained spy, and one of the best, too? Then why couldn’t she see what was right in front of her? Something that obvious?

Maybe she doesn’t know either because your question is followed by silence. Her only answer has been to sigh and pinch the bridge of her nose. It was going to be a long night, she already knew it, but wasn’t sure she had the energy to deal with that.

‘Come here,’ you said when the woman didn’t react. Your words were accompanied by the gesture of grabbing her arm in order to pull her toward you, the woman losing her balance because of the surprise.

Since she had found you, you had never asked for her presence. On the contrary, you had rejected and hated her. At best, you would tolerate her presence, but only when your job didn’t give you a choice, and so this sudden change in your behavior disconcerted her, especially the laugh that escaped your lips when she fell on top of you —; it is a sound that she has never thought she would hear again. So pure, so sincere.

‘Get up,’ she coldly says, not amused at all by your little games. If circumstances had been different, she probably would have found your attitude endearing and stayed a little longer in your arms. Except there was nothing healthy about this sudden closeness after months of hatred, so the woman immediately got up, inviting — ordering — you to do the same —; the sooner she puts you to bed, the sooner she can get back to hers.

Tonight, she had no patience. The woman was exhausted, and frustrated —; you weren’t the only one to suffer from the situation. She knows that your clinging state is just an illusion, the result of the alcohol you’ve ingested, and that the very next day you’re going to hate her again. If she wanted nothing more than to believe everything would be okay now, and to find comfort in your arms, she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Not when she knew she would lose it all again at sunrise. This scene is only a chimera, a reminder of what she had lost several years earlier as the result of her own actions.

If anything happens tonight, you would both regret it. Nothing can come from the actions of two tipsy and exhausted people. Except that your mind wasn’t clear enough to realize it, and all you could think about in that moment was how you were craving for Natasha’s attention. You wanted her to wrap her arms around you and whisper that everything will be fine now, because she is here. You wanted her to promise to never let you down, again. Even if it is a lie. Even if, one day, she will abandon you again —; because that’s what they all do despite the promises, isn’t it? At that moment, you didn’t care about the lies, you just wanted something to hold onto, just an ounce of comfort.

‘I caaaaaan’t,’ you whined, but you didn’t even try to do so. When you stretch out your arms towards the redhead, she gets the hint that you’re expecting her to help you, which she does. The woman knows how stubborn you can be so she grabs your hands and pulls you on your feet, sighing.

Except that you seem to find the idea of testing the limits of her kindness particularly amusing because you make no effort to pull yourself upright, or to stand on your feet —; or maybe you were just that wasted. You’re barely standing when you fall forward, leaving no choice to the woman who has to catch you before you hit the ground.

‘Got you,’ you whispered, a grin on your face, when you felt her arms around your waist.

The thought of dropping you crossed her mind, but all she did was to playfully roll her eyes. The woman should be annoyed by the situation —; right? But how could she when you are so adorable? It has been a long time since she last saw such a peaceful expression on your face. Your eyes were half closed, you looked as if you were about to fall asleep in her arms, and there was a faint smile on your lips. You seemed so content, nestled in her arms with your cheek pressed against her chest, that she hardly dared to move, fearing to break this well-deserved moment of peace. For a moment, it was as if nothing had happened, and the sorrow on your face had dissipated, giving way to a childlike insouciance —; a sight that made her heart melt.

You are the one who broke the silence first.

‘I’ve missed you..,’ you whispered. A confession so unexpected that the woman is not sure if she had understood your words. When her eyes looked down, searching for yours, you hadn’t moved, your eyes still closed. It was almost as if you hadn’t spoken, and that the words had been nothing more than a figment of her imagination.

‘Me too,’ she softly replied and, maybe, if you had opened your eyes at that moment, you would have noticed the tears that clouded hers — but you couldn’t do that, because you don’t want her to see the tears that you are trying to hold back, right? The one that would just run down your cheeks the moment you open your eyes.

‘Please, stay with me tonight,’ you asked —; no, you begged. You’ve lifted your head until your eyes finally meet hers, both were shining with the tears that threatened to fall —; you are the first one to give in.

The mere thought of Natasha leaving you was enough to shatter your last ramparts. You have just regained her embrace, you don’t want to be forced to leave her now, not after so many years of hoping to regain the comfort you thought you had lost forever. You have been too stubborn to admit that you needed help, and so you’ve spent years pushing everyone away, thinking that you didn’t deserve their affection. It has been so long that you can’t even remember the last time someone held you this way, with such delicacy and care.

It gave you hope. The one that, maybe, for at least one night, things could be the way they used to be —; just tonight, or even just a few hours. You just want that moment to last a little longer, you don’t want to spend another night alone in your bed, in your cold and austere bedroom with a depressing atmosphere. You want more than that, you want a reason to stay, a reason to try again, and to get up tomorrow —; you want Natasha back. You want your old life back.

Except that the woman won’t give in. It is not that she doesn’t want to, on the contrary, she shares the same wishes that you, but her mind is clear, and she knows that nothing good would come out of it —; you can’t get back to what you used to have. You can’t change the past, nor can you pretend it doesn’t exist.

‘I can’t..,’ she softly replied after a second of silence that marked her hesitation, ‘you know that baby, we both,’ she added, the nickname naturally escaping her lips when she noticed that more tears were threatening to fall from your eyes.

She wants to say yes, you can read it in her eyes, hear it in her silences —; then why doesn’t she say it? Why does she keep pushing you away when you are eventually ready for her to be back? Isn’t what she has wanted when she spent all those months begging you to accept her help? It is, but she didn’t want it that way, she didn’t want to take advantage of a moment of weakness on your part. She wanted to earn your forgiveness, to show you that you could trust her again, and if she had to work every day until she dies to achieve that goal, then she would do it.

‘Why not?’ you immediately asked back, ‘you are here, and so am I, and- and our bed is waiting for us,’ you started rambling. You couldn’t speak clearly, the words racing through your head as you tried to convince her, but you knew it was a losing battle. You were so desperate that your hands clung tightly to the fabric of her shirt, as if it could be enough to stop her from leaving. ‘Please,’ you begged once more when she didn’t react. At this point, your voice was nothing more than a broken whisper, ‘just for tonight, we could pre~’

‘Pretend that nothing has happened?’ she softly asked, finishing your sentence, and all you could do was nodding. ‘But you know we can’t do that baby,’ she said, hating the way you were looking at her with so much hope, as if you thought that one night in her arms could ease all your problems —; but it can’t. It won’t.

As she talks, one of her hands tucks a lock of your hair behind your ears. The touch is so gentle that you can resist, and lean into her embrace. The feeling of her hand caressing your head leaves too soon for your liking.

‘Sometimes, I wish that we could,’ you replied, ‘that I could either forget everything, or go back in time to make everything right,’ you confided in her, sharing your thoughts with someone for the first time.

The words have barely crossed the barrier of your lips that you crumble, because you realize that this wish will never come true. You can no longer hold back your tears, you can only hide your face in the hollow of her neck, hoping she won’t see those. Only, each of your sobs shakes your body so violently that anyone could understand your state in one glance. The woman doesn’t know what to do so she cautiously wraps her arms around you and cradles your body in an attempt to sooth your sobs —; it’s the least she can do.

‘You’ve done nothing wrong, love, nothing was your fault,’ she whispered, and you can hear that her voice is feverish —; she, too, is holding back tears. She can’t bear to see you like this. ‘I am sorry, so sorry,’ she added while she rocks you slowly. Those words weren’t for tonight, and how she had to refuse your proposal, but they were for everything that has happened since that day. Those excuses were for all the things she has done or said since but, most importantly, for all the things she didn’t have the courage to do and the ones she couldn’t.

⊱ ★ ⊰

The following morning, you’re woken up by Jarvis, his voice echoing through the room, terribly loud and impossible to ignore. A grunt escapes your lips, you were hoping for a few more hours of sleep —; or best, for an eternal slumber. The night before, like the rest of the team, you went to bed late, and the quantities of alcohol ingested are definitely not helping with your condition because you were the victim of a terrible headache. Only, it is impossible for you to ignore Jarvis’ voice. He has been calling your name over and over again for several minutes now, trying to get the attention you are trying to not give him —; but even with your hands covering your ears, his voice would pierces your eardrums.

‘You are not answering me, miss y/n,’ he stated the obvious, ‘do you want me to warn the others that you are sick? My sensors indicate tha~’

‘Please, Jarvis, shut up,’ you mumble, still managing to be polite despite the rising frustration, and you really hope it will be enough for him to leave you alone —; but anyone who knows the AI knows that these hopes are in vain.

Nonetheless, you have to admit that he is right about one thing: you are not feeling so good —; but who would after attending one of Stark’s parties? He always says that if your head is not sore and your throat is not burning the next day, then you haven’t enjoyed yourself enough. Surely you have enjoyed enough to last a lifetime, although you are not naive enough to swear to never touch a bottle again in your life. Yet, you’ve thought of it for an instant, the lingering nausea making you regret your actions because it gave you the unpleasant feeling that you might throw up at any time.

God, you were weak. So weak that everything was feeling too much right now, even the faint sunlight making its way into your room —; it makes you want to bury yourself alive to avoid all these sensations, and to die. Except you can’t because you have a mission that is scheduled for today and, if you don’t show up soon, they will come looking for you, which is the last thing you want. You have spent weeks preparing for that, you definitely can’t let them down now, especially not because you are just too stupid to know your limits.

You have abandoned them once, you won’t make the same mistake a second time. They won’t be so forgiving this time, no one forgives someone who does the same mistake twice —; no one gives a second chance to traitors. It has been several years since you came back, but you still feel like you are on probation and you need to prove to them that they can count on you. You can sense their hesitation to trust you, even though they insist that everything is fine —; pretending that everything is the way it used to be. It is their new favorite game, but you hate it. Y

et, you don’t have much choice but to play by their rules.

‘Are you sure? Becaus~’

‘I said, shut. the. fuck. UP!’ you yelled, not giving him to finish his sentence, already reaching the limits of your patience, ‘what’s so difficult to understand in those two words?’ you growled in frustration, and you can’t help but throw a pillow at the walls. The gesture is useless because it doesn’t even manage to ease the tension you feel, nor does it convince Jarvis that he needs to stop talking because he starts lecturing you about your actions.

Actually, the only way you have found to shut him up was to get up and join the others for breakfast. Fortunately, only Tony and Steve were there. They are the ones you are going on mission with today, and that’s what they were talking about before you entered the room. Even though you would rather stay alone, talking about missions is something you can do with little effort because it is easy. You need your brain, but you can turn off your emotions. You do not have to worry about saying the wrong thing or how to avoid an uncomfortable silence. It is familiar, and comforting. It has been a while since you've been sitting at this table talking about something else —; when you are not talking about work, you stay silent. It seems that you have forgotten how to interact with them during those years.

As they go through the details of the mission one last time, you are playing with your breakfast, not interested in the oat flakes floating in your milk, nor in their voices that forms a dull hum in the background, their words not even reaching your ears —; because you are thinking, your eyebrows furrowed with worry. Except that your state isn’t caused by the reasons they think it is, neither the alcohol nor the mission are in your mind, only a certain spy with whom you shared a moment last night. One you would rather forget because the simple thought of the thing you have said, and done, is enough to fill you with rage and embarrassment.

‘Hi to the moon, here the earth,’ Tony said, snapping his fingers in front of your face to get your attention, ‘were you even listening to us?’ he sighed, but you don’t notice any annoyance in his voice. Only a sickening worry that you can read in his eyes, a feeling that he doesn’t share and doesn’t hide very well. You hate it, when they look at you that way, as if you could break at any moment, as if they needed to be careful —; but you can take it. You can take everything, and you definitely do not need their permanent protection.

‘No, sorry, I was lost in my thoughts,’ you admitted, giving him a smile that I hoped to be convincing enough to reassure him.

‘Do not worry, everything is going to be fine, okay? We will be here to make sure of that,’ Steve intervened, trying to reassure you about what he thought was the cause of your worries, but his tone didn’t feel comforting to you. If anything, it made you grit your teeth and clench your hand harder around your spoon, increasing your irritation. You don’t really know why, but Steve has been the hardest to get along with since you have come back, maybe it is because of his seemingly false sympathy.

‘Thank you,’ you managed to mumble, even though you don’t really mean it —; it was still better than the snide comment that made its way in your mind. You even made the effort to smile, one that anyone could see as fake, but not Steve, because he never really pays attention to the others.

The words burn on the tip of your tongue, and you have to bite it to not shout out to him what you are really thinking. You want nothing more than to tell him that you are as capable as anyone around this table. You have proven yourself over the last few months, succeeding in every mission they have given you, what more do you need to do for them to have faith in your abilities again? Reach for the moon? Because you are ready to do it if that’s the price to pay. You are desperate enough to do anything they would ask.

In reality, you are not worried at all about the upcoming mission because that is not a possibility. You don’t fail, ever, and if you need to give pieces of yourself and mind in order to complete a mission, then you are ready to do it without flinching.

No, your thoughts were occupied by something else —; or someone else. Something that was more difficult to manage because there is no guide to follow. This person is Natasha, and the cause of your worries is the moment you shared last night because you have no explanation for what happened —; you thought she hated you, and that you hated her. Aren’t you both supposed to despise each other for the pain you’ve caused? Then why do some of you still yearn for her presence? Why didn’t she reject you and, instead, decided to take care of your mess? This even wasn’t meant to be. The redhead is the last person that should have witnessed you in such a vulnerable state, and yet she is the one you have sought attention from, the only one you needed last night —; and you hate that. You hate how your feelings are still the same even after so many years.

That is exactly why, the second the woman that is haunting your thoughts stepped in the room, you left it, pretending that you needed to get ready for the mission. There is no way that the way you walked out of the room, leaving your untouched breakfast behind you, didn’t bring questions to their minds but you were long gone before any of them could say something.

˚ 　 ⋆ ⁺ ₊ ✦ ⁺ ₊ 　 ˚ 　. ˚ . 　 ☁ . 　　. 　 ˚ 　⁺ ⁺ ✦ ₊　　 ☁ ˚　 . ⁺ ₊ ✧ ˚　 . 　 ˚　 ⁺ ₊

˚ . ⤳ MOODBOARD ⊱⋆⊰ MASTERLIST ⊱⋆⊰ TO SAY SOMETHING ✦ Part one. Part two. Part three. ⊱⋆⊰ the scars in our hearts.

. ☁ ˚ ⤳ TAG LIST — @cd-4848, @chocolatestrawberrykryptonite, @escapereality4music, @fxckmiup, @gemz5, @jusnough, @m0nsterqzzz, @marvelwomenarehot0, @mrsrushman, @riyaexee, @takeyaki, @taliiiaasteria.

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elliespassagerprincess · 1 month ago

Note

Will u please made a cute date in the planetarium with Ellie!!✨

Planets - ellie williams x reader

hi anon! i hope you like it:) this story made me feel so single wtf.

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open! send me your silly thoughts

Warning: none

Summary: in which you went on a date

authors note: im spamming yall

masterlist

“Are we even going in the right direction?” you ask, out of breath as you follow behind Ellie.

She lets out a laugh. “You’re just tired of walking,” she comments.

The two of you are walking through a damp forest. The air smells like wet moss and the forest floor squishes under your boots. The sky is overcast, an endless sheet of grey, and the only light filtering through the trees is cold and muted. You flinch at the sound of leaves crunching beneath your feet. You're not supposed to be outside of Jackson without a group.

But here you are. You snuck out. With Ellie. And now you feel the weight of your actions—the thrill of being away, the fear of getting caught—and the pressure in your chest grows heavier with every step.

Your heart pounds loudly in your ears as you try to keep up. Ellie’s walking ahead, effortlessly, as usual, her pace slow but determined. She’s been quiet, her face lit only by the faintest spark of mischief.

She asked you on a date. You didn’t expect it. Ellie never seemed interested in anything serious. She always kept things light, kept people at arm’s length. So when she showed up one random morning with a single flower in her hand, the words she said next felt like they came out of nowhere.

“Go on a date with me,” she demanded.

You blinked, taken aback. You didn’t think she even saw you like that. The glances, the small smiles she would shoot your way—maybe you’d been reading them all wrong. Maybe she’d just been being herself.

But you said yes. And now here you are, walking with her in the cold, not knowing where she’s taking you.

“We’re here,” she says suddenly.

You blink at her, confused. "What?"

“Close your eyes,” Ellie orders.

You hesitate, but she’s already behind you, covering your eyes with her hands. Her touch is warm, but there’s a rush of heat that spreads through your chest as her fingers brush over your skin. You feel the pulse of her touch radiate down your spine, making your body respond in ways you don't know how to explain.

“Don’t peek,” she warns softly, her voice teasing, yet with an edge of something else, something you can’t quite place.

You take a step forward, the ground beneath you soft and uneven. She guides you carefully, making sure you don’t stumble. You wonder for a second what she’s up to, where she’s leading you, but then you forget all of it the moment she removes her hands from your eyes.

“Holy shit,” you mutter.

You’re standing in front of an old planetarium. It’s overgrown with vines and moss, and parts of the building are crumbling, but it still holds an eerie beauty—something untouched, even after everything. The roof is cracked, and broken glass twinkles on the ground in the dim light, but the dome remains mostly intact.

“How did you find this?” you ask in awe. You look around, scanning every corner, trying to take it all in.

“Joel…” Ellie starts. Then she clears her throat. “Joel brought me here,” she says quietly, and for a second, you don’t know what to say. You hadn’t expected that. "It’s a special place for me," she continues, her gaze flicking to the side. "And… you’re special, so..." she shrugs, looking away, her cheeks turning a little pink.

You stare at her for a moment, processing what she just said. Her words hang in the air, and for once, she’s not trying to mask anything. She’s vulnerable.

You smile, your heart beating faster than before, and you reach out to take her hand. "Thank you," you say softly, unsure of what else to add. You don’t need to say anything more, though. She’s already looking at you, her eyes soft and sincere.

Inside the planetarium, the air smells faintly of dust and decay. The floor is cracked in places, but the projection system still works, though faintly. You can make out a few dim constellations on the ceiling, and what might’ve been a comet streaking through the sky.

Ellie moves toward the projector, crouching down to fiddle with the controls. She looks back at you, her smile a little more mischievous.

"Wanna try something?"

You raise an eyebrow, intrigued. “Like what?”

Ellie presses a few buttons and the stars shift. She leans back against the projector, arms folded. “Pick a constellation. Anyone.”

You stand up, looking up at the sky projected on the ceiling, and pick out the first star you can find. “That one.”

Ellie grins. “Good choice. Watch this.” She flips a switch, and suddenly, the star bursts into a radiant spiral of light, trailing behind it like a comet’s tail. It’s beautiful, even if it flickers a little.

“That’s amazing,” you say, awestruck. “How do you—”

“I’ve been messing with this thing for a while,” she interrupts, clearly proud of herself. “I can make the stars do whatever I want.”

She slides over to sit next to you. “Wanna make one wish?”

You nod. “Yeah. Just one?”

“Just one.”

Ellie glances at you, her face softening, and for a moment, you both stay silent, the hum of the projector the only sound around you.

Then she’s standing again, brushing dirt from her jeans. “Okay. Now, for something a little less… romantic.” She gives you a wink. “Ever played a game in a planetarium?”

You laugh, not sure what she’s getting at. “I mean, I’ve never been to one until now.”

“Well, you’re in for a treat.” She grabs a couple of old pieces of debris, some discarded glass, and arranges them into a makeshift bowling setup. She stands back and gives you a look, raising an eyebrow. “You ready for this?”

“I guess?” you reply, amused but a little confused.

Ellie rolls the first “ball”—a smooth stone—and it hits the glass “pins” with a satisfying crash. You laugh and take your turn, rolling the stone with as much drama as you can muster.

The two of you take turns, joking, laughing, and trying to knock over as many pins as possible. The competition is ridiculous—completely pointless, but you’re both grinning, caught up in the moment.

After a while, you both collapse onto the floor, still laughing. Ellie lays her head on your lap. You freeze for a second, feeling your pulse spike, but then you let yourself relax, your fingers gently brushing through her hair.

She looks up at you, her eyes gleaming with something soft. “Thank you, for… this. For being here. For today.”

You smile, brushing a few strands of hair away from her face. “No problem,” you say quietly. “It’s... perfect.”

“You know,” she says, her voice teasing but sincere, “you can’t get this kind of date just anywhere.”

You laugh, nodding. “Yeah, I think I’ll remember it for a long time.”

You both lie back down, staring at the broken planets above. The stars are flickering slowly, and in that moment, everything feels peaceful, like the weight of the world is just a little bit lighter.

“Thank you, Ellie,” you murmur again, your voice barely above a whisper.

She sits up, brushing off her pants, and her face softens. “No, thank you... for making me come back here. I miss him so much.”

Your heart aches as you sit up and take her hand. You squeeze it gently. “It’s okay,” you say softly, looking into her eyes.

She lies back down on your lap, her breath steady as you run your fingers through her hair. The moment feels quiet and timeless. The outside world doesn’t matter anymore. It’s just the two of you here, in this forgotten place, under the stars that don’t shine like they used to but are still beautiful.

“I like planets,” Ellie says, her voice quiet and content.

“I know,” you reply. “I think after today i like them too”

She turns her head to look at you, a soft smile playing at the corners of her lips. “Do you want to be my world?” she asks, her voice teasing, but there’s something in her eyes that says it’s not just a joke.

You blink, and then you laugh softly, warmth spreading through you. “Sure, Ellie. I’d like that.”

She smiles wide, and for once, everything feels just right.

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hangesdarling · 1 year ago

Note

Idea! Hange who finds out her rival in the scouts is actually just a massive bottom

rivals, right? — h. zoë

PAIRING. Hange Zoë x female reader SYNOPSIS. You and your rival Hange were forced to sleep in one tent for an expedition. CONTENT. 18+, MDNI, nipple sucking, fingering, oral sex, a bit slow burn WORD COUNT. 2.1k A/N. sorry anon i missed the part where they're scouts :") they're both section commanders on this one though. hope that's alright!

"I'm not sleeping with you," you groaned, the irritation sharp enough to cut through the night.

"You make it sound weird when we're just sleeping in one tent," Hange said with an amused laugh, padding up the tent floor with a few blankets so it wouldn't be too rocky to lie down on.

So annoying, you might be thinking. Hange always acts coy, teasing even as if your constant clash and rivalry were an amusement of some sort. Years of training and expeditions, even as scouts, Hange always managed to be linked with you. Both were labeled the smartest, both became section commanders at the same time, and both were considered respectable researchers. Your titles always one up with the other, a tight competition you never seemed to have an agreement on.

"Ugh, why is it always with you?" You mumbled behind the notebook you're scribbling on. It was loud enough to reach Hange's ears.

"Sorry, dear. Every tent is occupied," they said simply. Hange placed two makeshift pillows, peeking over the tent as if waiting for you to come inside. You glanced in their direction but turned away almost instantly.

"I'll be out here for a while," you muttered, focused on scribbling on your notes. Hange looked over your shoulder in curiosity, crawling beside you.

"Observations, huh?" Hange remarked, pushing their glasses up so their eyes could follow your scribbles.

You blushed at being observed, quickly hiding the notes you were writing.

"Nah, just listing why my research is more relevant than yours," you saved yourself from awkwardness, pulling a smug smile.

Hange laughed, tilting their head almost mockingly. "That's kinda pathetic, don't you think?"

"Heh, not when I get those two titans for my experiment," you replied, lips curling into a smirk.

Ah, so damn stubborn, Hange thought. They shook their head lightly, still amused by how you managed to pull this stubborn behavior with them for years. You're typically kind and soft-spoken with other scouts, an authority to be respected, not feared. But Hange finds it almost ridiculous when you both act like bickering children around each other.

"Would it kill you to share a titan with me? Besides, Erwin said we only get to capture one titan each."

"Out of all people, you should know that won't be enough," you replied. The situation you're both in just hardens your stubbornness. How could humanity thrive and gain knowledge when research is always limited? Tight budget, the shitty authority; Survey Corps never seems to run out of problems.

"Well, we have to work with our limited resources, you know," Hange explained. "We're not supported enough in terms of this. Our supplies are insufficient. That's probably why we're sharing a tent."

"I'll do something about that," you mumbled like a steadfast promise. "Just go to sleep for now."

Hange looks at you for a while, perhaps in admiration or judgment. But in any way, they see the reflection of their resolve.

"You should sleep too. It would be a long day tomorrow. Good night, Y/N."

Do something about it, huh? Hange slept with that curious thought, wondering what risky method would you try to pull in the next few days.

---

Being outside the walls stopped feeling new after your tenth or fifteenth expedition. As a scout, you always have some sort of fear just from the countless tales of unsuccessful expeditions and a tower of dead bodies after one.

But now, you managed to expertly map through the routes outside just from memory. Where titans roam the least or the best view to watch over their behavior.

You were sitting atop a branch of a large tree, binoculars in hand, and planning where to stage the capture. Your mind went through the manpower and equipment sent with you outside, wincing at the fact that the capture could be dangerous. Hange managed to develop a catching net some months ago, ensuring a safe capture. However, with the tight route and a precarious amount of titan, you doubt that this capture would be entirely safe.

From another tree, Hange was watching titans, observing how slow they usually walk without bait. They are focusing. Supposedly.

But now and then, their binoculars would travel over where you sat, the lenses perfectly capturing your distress at the current conundrum.

No sooner, you felt another presence at the tree—Hange's familiar footsteps, careful to reach you on that wide branch.

"You're worrying about the route, isn't it?" you heard them whisper behind you as you lowered your own binoculars.

"Not just that," you sighed defeatedly, head on your hands. "I was thinking that two titans really wouldn't be enough for us even if we shared."

You handed Hange your notebook much to their surprise. They flipped over the pages, gaining an understanding of your concerns. Your desired experiment might be ambitious and idealistic but it would be helpful if you succeeded. But with resources so limited and countless lives to take into consideration, how would you able to do this?

Hange sat beside you, still thumbing over some pages. Even if you're turning your face away, Hange could tell you were trying hard not to tear up from the frustration and possibility of loss. This was important for you after all. They've watched you study, observe, and create all of these for over a year.

They placed a hand on your shoulder, squeezing it lightly before saying, "We could do something about this, you know that. Come with me."

----

"Why do you always kick your blanket off when you sleep?" Hange asked curiously one night in the tent.

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do! I had to tuck it beneath your feet at least three times last night," Hange argued.

"My, don't bother with it..." You brushed it off, turning away from them to hide your face. You tried to trace back since when Hange Zoë's relationship with you became so casual, almost friendly. If your mind wanders far enough, you might consider something else happening. Affection, maybe. But you shrugged all those thoughts off, reminding yourself that the plan you agreed on was purely for science and the advancement of humanity.

"But you're weak to coldness," Hange continued, covering you in several layers of blanket, ignoring the pout on your lips. They had a grin on their face when they said, "Don't want my research partner getting sick, do I?"

"We're not research partners," you frowned.

"Eh, why not? I just told you my whole plan and you agreed with it."

"Doesn't mean we're partners from now on."

"God, you're one stubborn lady," Hange chuckled, a sigh escaping their lips. They pulled their blankets over them, slowly dozing off. Outside, the night was filled with the gentle chirps of crickets, chorusing at one point. Even with such proximity, you could feel Hange's warmth, their gentle breathing only conveyed that they must also be awake.

---

The next morning, you and Hange's plan set into motion, traps were located strategically in a different route. Both of you were taking full liability for what would happen in the days to come, informing the soldiers about the need to capture four titans to sufficiently conduct the research. It wasn't the safest plan, some were hesitant but many trusted your scheme since all of you share a common goal.

You commander your unit, imparting knowledge of the best actions to take. But for the remaining hours, your eyes remained on your notebook, pretending to check details to reach the optimum result. However, Hange knew you had an entirely different reason. Maybe to interact less with them, afraid they would bring up how you two ended up tangled in each other's arms last night.

---

"I'm just letting you know that won't happen again," you said flatly, eyes boring upwards through the tent as you lay down.

Hange turned their head to you, their lips forming into a subtle smirk once more. "What is?"

"Um, last night..." you said in a low voice.

"Ah, you mean when you're hugging me so tightly?" Hange asked smugly.

You bit your lip, trying to save yourself from this. "I was asleep. Not responsible for my actions, but forgive me for disturbing your sleep."

Much to your surprise, Hange hovered over you, their deep brown eyes glinting almost knowingly against the dark space inside. The atmosphere thickened, your heart ramming louder than the sounds of night.

"No need to apologize for anything, sweetheart," they whispered, their eyes following your lips the way your eyes do for them. In that heated moment, all that you've both held in flooded out like a dam breaking and gushing to spill over. Hange placed a firm hand on your shoulder, keeping you pinned on the blankets as their lips met yours. It was a firm kiss, your lips nearly melting into each other's. Your hands traveled on Hange's hair where you tug and pull them closer. Hange sat you up in their lap, gaining better access of your neck and chest. Their hands snaked under your clothes as they ask for permission to go further each time to which you only nod.

"If you want to have me so bad, you shouldn't have spent years being annoying," you muttered into the kiss.

"Says the one who wouldn't let go of me last night," Hange smirked, a thumb circling your clothed breasts. "Besides, you should've picked up on it early on. You're so smart after all."

"You know, you look more attractive when you shut up," you muttered as you fell on top of Hange. Their flushed face look at you expectantly, expecting you would dominate this whole ordeal. After all, they saw you in that dominant, commanding light after years of leadership.

But Hange noticed how flustered you were just from being on top of them. Your thighs kept straddled on their lap, your hands resting on their shoulder, not knowing where to hold on. Hange smirked, taking it as a sign to flip you over once more. Their breath was warm against your ear as they whispered, "It's okay, Y/N. Let me do it for you."

Hange locked your lips in a kiss once more, bundling your shirt on your chest. Their lips slithered from your lips down to your throat, reaching the trail between your breasts. They kept one firm hand on your wrist as their tongue gently circled one of your nipples, sucking their lips on the hardened bud.

Hange covered your mouth before you let out high-pitched noises from the sensation.

"Shhhh... You don't want your subordinates to hear you, right?" They smiled against the darkness.

The night was slow and heated as you let Hange do wonders with their mouth and fingers, always managing to draw out a soundless moan from you. Your lips could only part, your hands clenching around their body. They were amused to see you follow along and nod with their wishes, so compliant with their charm.

Hange had the button of your blouse open, your breasts spilling out into their face and the warm flesh of your stomach open for their wet kisses.

"You know," Hange began, drawing their fingers in and out of you at a teasingly, slow pace. "I didn't expect this much submission from you."

"Shut up, Hange..." you breathed out, a hand over your eyes as you were beginning to write against their fingers. Hange held down your hip, tugging your pants a bit more so they could have more access to you.

"As you wish, m'lady," Hange placed a kiss on your clit before gently lapping up the warm wetness gathering on your slit.

Hange kept on until the faint light of dawn slitted through your tent. You forgot just how much stamina they had to draw one orgasm after another from you. They only stopped when you've whined and writhed enough under them, pleading for a break. Hange fixed up your clothes, smoothed out your hair, and drew the blanket over you again as if nothing happened. Their wet lips kissed you once more as they said, "You still have a few hours to sleep. Sleep tight, sweetheart."

---

The capture will take place during the afternoon. The equipment was set, and the soldiers were preparing their ODM gear for however long the capture may last.

The scouts passed by, even some of your friends, noticing the slight shift of the atmosphere but couldn't quite put it into words. Maybe this time their section commanders weren't bickering as usual. They went with that fresh start in high spirits, brushing off their suspicions whenever they saw Hange place an arm around your waist or whisper something to make you laugh or blush. Your unit didn't think much of it, even attributing it as a minor hallucination or a ripple in the universe. There's no way their section commanders are getting affectionate.

After all, you're rivals, right?

likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated, sweethearts <3

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corpsekiller · 7 months ago

Note

hi! could i request gintoki x reader where he is being protective of his s/o? it could be any kind of scenario!

𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 — 𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨𝐤𝐢

PAIRING. gintoki sakata x genderneutral!reader

WARNINGS. fluff, mentions of alcohol and cigarettes

SYNOPSIS. while you're out drinking at a bar with gintoki, a stranger hits on you and gintoki shows a side of him you've rarely seen before.

AUTHOR'S NOTE. my dear anon, i'm so sorry that it took me so long to write this. your request was wonderful and i hope you find this fic in the near future, even if you had to wait so long <3

LENGTH. 2.069 words

MASTERLIST

If anyone asked how you ended up here, you couldn't even explain.

The bar is dimly lit, warm light reflects off bottles of sake lined up behind the wooden counter stained with dust and dirt. The steady murmur of hushed conversations fills the air, the familiar scent of alcohol and cigarette smoke curls around your head as you slump back in your seat and let your eyes wander over the customers lounging at the tables, chatting quietly or laughing hysterically, downing one drink after the other.

Admittedly, it's not the nicest pub you've ever seen, not exactly a place you'd choose on your own considering the number of sleazy men you've already spotted lurking in the shadows of the room, drunkenly flirting with every woman that walks past them and throwing insults after them upon rejection before they throw themselves on a new prey, attempting to get in their pants.

Though sitting next to your best friend makes this rundown bar feel almost cozy if you ignore the shady barkeeper who has been sending you dirty looks ever since you stepped through the front door.

"Y'know, it's weird," Gintoki mutters, nursing his cup filled to the brim with sake and offering you a lazy grin when he finally catches your attention again and you turn around to look at him with a questioning arch to your brow.

His yukata is slightly askew, the white fabric of his sleeve slipping off his shoulder and his hair is disheveled, more than usual, though he doesn't seem to care — judging by the flush of his cheeks and the soft curve of his lips pulled into a drowsy smile, he has already had enough to make him stumble over his own feet on the way back home. "You hang out with me all the time, but you still haven't learned to handle your liquor. Just admit that you're an amateur!"

How ironic.

"Someone has to stay sober enough to drag your sorry ass home, Gin." You roll your eyes at his comment and take a tentative sip of your drink before you shift closer, resting your chin in the palm of your hand as you look at him with a mischievous grin. "I don't wanna explain to the kids why you spent the night sleeping on a lonely park bench like a homeless loser. Don't forget you have to be a good role model for them."

"Ah, those damn brats," he groans and shakes his head, lazily twirling his drink as if deep in thought, though you doubt there's much going on in his mind, at least tonight. "They're the reason why I have another set of bills piling up on my desk," he complains, though there's no bite to his words. "Maybe I should sell the damn dog if we keep running shorter on food—"

"Maybe you could get a decent job, ever thought about that?"

"Oi, don't speak to the infamous Yorozuya Gintoki like that, young lady!" He scoffs and leans forward, pointing an accusatory finger at you as if you just spat into his beloved chocolate parfait right before his very eyes. "Did you forget that we repaired your roof the other day, huh? Without us, you'd soon have some creep peek through the hole in your ceiling and watch you sleep!"

"Are you sure you're not talking about yourself peeking into my room?" You smirk, barely able to stifle a laugh when he gasps loudly and clutches his chest in offense.

The banter between you two has always been lighthearted, a steady rhythm of playful teasing and sarcasm that makes the days, no matter how dark, a little better, a little easier to survive. Beneath it all though, the jokes and the insults you both throw around as if you couldn't bear the sound of each other breathing, lies a deep understanding and a certain kind of affection neither of you really dares to name.

Just as you're about to counter another one of Gintoki's jabs, a shadow falls over your table.

"Hey there, pretty thing," a voice drawls, pulling your attention to the source of those words dripping with false friendliness — a man, seemingly already in his late 40s towering over you with a smug grin pulling at the corners of his mouth. His eyes linger on you, wandering over the length of your figure with an almost predatory glint that makes your stomach twist and turn in all the wrong ways. "Why don't ya leave this loser and have a drink with a real man, hm? I promise I'll make it worth your while."

Instinctively you lean back, trying to get as much distance as possible between you and the stranger, though it's no use. Before you can utter a response, he moves closer and places a hand on your wrist and grazes over your arm to grab your shoulder. Unease settles in the back of your throat, a heavy feeling that ties your tongue and renders you unable to bite back with a snarky reply that might scare him off.

Just as you're about to pull back, his fingers still hovering above your shoulder, the table shifts and the glasses still filled with sake clatter auspiciously.

Then, Gintoki is suddenly in front of you, his hand wrapped tightly around the man's wrist. His knuckles are turning white from the sheer strength of his tight grip, but you notice a subtle tremor running through his body, his muscles straining and tensing under the thin fabric of his shirt as he slowly twists the stranger's arm into an unnatural position that makes him inhale sharply. Gintoki isn't looking at you, though — his eyes are fixed on the drunken jerk, and for once, there is no trace of his usual lazy grin that you've grown so accustomed to.

No, there was nothing but pure anger etched into the sharp features of his face.

"Oi, didn't your mother ever teach you not to touch things that don't belong to you?" His voice is calm, almost eerily so, but there is an edge to it that makes the air thrum with a certain kind of tension. The room around you grows quiet, so deadly silent that you're certain you could hear a pin drop and yet, you can't seem to turn your head to check if the other people are watching, can't force yourself to let your gaze wander away for even a second.

"What are you doing? Let go of me, you idiot!" The unknown man blinks in surprise, the smirk he wore only a moment ago slowly fading as his drunken bravado wavers before he attempts to jerk his hand free, pulling one, two, three times, but it's no use. Gintoki only huffs out a humorless laugh and slowly leans in closer, the crimson of his eyes glinting dangerously in the dim lighting of the bar.

"You think I'm a joke, huh?" He murmurs, low and alarmingly calm. "Look, dude, I'm the kind of guy who smiles even when I'm ticked off. So if I'm not smiling right now... you've really crossed a line."

There's a moment of silence as Gintoki merely stares at the stranger until he begins to squirm nervously, seemingly contemplating what he should do with him, then he pulls the man forward by his wrists and tilts his head to whisper something into his ear, though you can't make out what he's saying.

Whatever it is, it must be utterly terrifying because only a split second later, the man's eyes widen in pure horror. The color drains from his face and his mouth falls open in wordless shock as he gapes at your best friend, frozen in place, unable to move an inch like a rabbit caught in the jaw of a wolf.

Then, at last, with a rough yank that sends the creep stumbling back into another occupied table, Gintoki lets go of him and turns towards you. In an instant, his expression softens, a comforting reassurance replacing the storm that has been raging in his gaze ever since the stranger had tried to put his hands on you. Slowly, but surely, the tension around you slowly eased despite the steady pounding of your heart and you let out a breath you didn't you'd been holding, forcing your body to relax.

"Hey," Gintoki murmurs as he nudges your shoulder, his tone lighter now, almost gentle if you listen closer. "You okay?"

You swallow, nodding, though your voice still sounds treacherously shaky when you dare to speak up. "Yeah, I’m fine. I just… Thank you."

Somehow, those words feel too small, too meaningless to express what you're truly feeling — because in this very moment, with his hand still lingering protectively on the table between you and the space where the stranger stood, you realize something about your best friend that you never thought about before.

Sure, Gintoki and you have known each other for so long you barely remember your first encounter, and sometimes you'd almost dare to say you know him better than anyone else, always having each other's back, no matter what life threw your way, but tonight, it feels different.

He isn't just standing up for you — he's shielding you as if the idea of someone hurting you is something he can't bear.

"You don’t have to thank me for something like that," he mutters, his gaze dropping to the floor. A faint blush creeps up his neck and flushes his pale cheeks, barely noticeable in the dim lighting of the bar, and his hand shoots up to scratch at the back of his neck, fingers twirling strands of silver hair in an attempt to hide what seems to be embarrassment. "I mean, I was just… doing what I always do. I can’t just sit there when some jerk thinks he can lay a hand on you."

God, you don't think you've ever seen him look so bashful.

"Gintoki," you reply softly, hesitantly reaching out to brush your fingertips over his scared knuckles before you give yourself a push and grab his entire hand, circling his skin with the pad of your thumb in reassuring motions. "Tell me, why do you always look out for me like this?"

He glances at your hand, then back up at you. Something flickers in his eyes and for a moment, a split second, you catch a glimpse of what lies behind his facade of carelessness and boredom, behind the mean jokes and snarky comments, behind the slaps on the back of your head when you've gotten yourself into trouble for nth time that week — adoration, perhaps even love, though you think that word might be too strong.

"Because," he replies softly, his gaze never leaving yours, "even an idiot like me knows a good thing when he’s got it."

Fuck. Your heart stumbles in your chest and warmth begins to pool in the pit of your stomach, crawling up your spine until you feel your face flush, tinting your cheeks in a soft shade of pink as you try to process his sudden display of unexpected affection. Just as you open your mouth to respond, he flashes you that infuriatingly lazy grin and reaches across the table to snatch his drink, lifting his glass with a careless tilt to eye its content.

"So," he announces as if nothing has changed at all, a delicate pinky finger outstretched to cram around his left nostril in search of a booger, "let’s forget about that creep and enjoy the rest of our night, yeah? You’re stuck with me for now, whether you like it or not."

Completely bamboozled by the sudden shift in his demeanor, you can only gape at him. One second he's fierce and protective, showing a side of him you only ever catch in rare, fleeting glimpses, and the next, he's back to being his usual insufferable self, cool and detached as if none of it matters.

But despite the confusion — despite everything — you can’t help the soft smile that tugs at your lips.

"Yeah," you whisper, feeling your chest swell with something almost painfully sweet. "I think I’m okay with that."

And as the night stretches on, with the bar growing quieter around you, it doesn't matter how rough or chaotic the world outside might be, because right here, in this tiny corner of Edo, you know one thing for certain - as long as Gintoki is beside you, you’ll always be safe.

#gintoki x reader #gintoki fic #gintoki sakata x reader #sakata gintoki x reader #sakata gintoki imagine #sakata gintoki fic #sakata gintoki #gintama x reader #gintama gintoki #gintama

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itgetsdark-x · 1 year ago

Text

He Who Hides In the Shadows

Summary: You loved Tommy Miller, of course you did; he was the perfect gentleman. He was kind, he was generous and he was easy on the eyes. It’s just… he wasn’t Joel Miller. Loosely based on the idea from a lovely anon ask (here).

Warnings: 18+, MDNI plssss!! Public sex, age gap (unspecified but Joel would be mid forties, reader in twenties), unprotected p in v (do better & wrap it), mild degrading, use of ‘daddy’, breeding kink (ish), mentions of voyeurism, cheating, dark!Joel themes.

Characters: Joel Miller x (f) reader, mentions of Tommy Miller x (f) reader

Word Count: 5.8k

Life in Jackson was good, well, as good as life could be given the state of the world; it almost had a familiar sense of old times and a safeness you had craved for years.

You first stumbled into the gates of Jackson around fourteen months ago, you had been shot in the thigh by a raider and had managed to stumble your way to safety; everyone was hesitant to allow you through and into their safe haven, and you understood it.

The citizens were kind enough to tend to your wounds, dress them and feed you; you ate properly for the first time in months. You looked at your surroundings, the warm interior of the communal canteen as a kind woman explained the ways of living in Jackson.

That’s where you saw him for the first time… he was tall, broad and so rugged; he had brown hair with soft white hairs peppered through the gentle locks and he had the most intense brown eyes, they were dark and so much pain swam in them that it made you want to reach out and hold him. He locked eyes with you and you felt as if your surroundings blurred together, all you could focus on was this nameless man.

“Joel Miller.” The lady sat opposite of you announced. “He’s… a troubled man, older brother of Tommy Miller.” She informed you with a soft smile.

“Oh, I, I wasn’t staring.” You mumbled as you shovelled food into your mouth quickly, returning your gaze back to your plate of food.

“It’s okay, hon, a lot of women tend to stare at the Miller brothers. Just human nature, some things never change, even during the apocalypse.” She laughed.

You made a small noise, it sounded alien to you and then you realised it was a laugh; it wasn’t a noise you had made in years.

“Anyway, I’ve got you a small one bedroom house on one of the quieter streets; it’s been unoccupied for a few years but should be fine, the water runs hot and there’s electricity too. I’m on the next street over so please feel free to come over and spend some time with me and Jacob, my husband. My name is Lara.” She pushed another plate of food over to you and you looked up at her with thankful eyes.

“This place is fucking amazing.” You cursed, tucking into the next lot of food. “I mean, sorry. Thank you, y’all have been so nice to me already.”

“I understand, we are definitely blessed in this community.” She smiled, watching you eat up the food before you. “Anyway, hon, I should get going. I’ve got a shift to work in the kitchen, ready for the evening rush. If you need anything at all, you come and find me. Don’t worry about helping out just yet, you heal up and get yourself right.”

“Thank you.” You smiled, the gesture felt foreign, you had spent so many months alone that you couldn’t even recognise what it felt like to feel a small glimmer of hope and joy.

Lara left you in peace, she squeezed your shoulder before she walked off. You looked around at your surroundings once again, Joel was no longer stood in his previous place but instead he was sat at a table opposite yours, next to him was another handsome male. You could notice the similarities between the two of them but this younger male was much softer in appearance, his features weren’t hardened by pain and roughness.

The younger of the Miller men caught your gaze, he smirked at you, noticing your blushing cheeks and within seconds he was closing the distance between you both.

“Well aren’t you pretty, not seen you around here before. I’m Tommy Miller, pleasure to meet you.” He said softly, outstretching his hand to shake yours.

You shook his hand and introduced yourself by your name.

“I’m sure I’ll be seeing a lot more of you around here, darlin’.” He said before tipping his hat and going back to sit with his brother.

The rest, they say, is history. Your relationship with Tommy had been a whirlwind, you kept finding reasons to bump into the younger Miller and eventually, he got the hint and asked you out on a date. You and Tommy had been together for about a year now and it felt like a dream.

You were in a domesticated bliss, you lived with him in his house that he shared with Joel but you didn’t have much involvement with the older Miller male. He kept his distance and things between you always felt icy; you understood why, he had been through so much loss in his life and Tommy assured you he was the same with everyone, which was somewhat true.

You were stood in the kitchen, washing dishes from the day before, humming to yourself when you heard the door click open from the front of the house. You assumed it was Tommy, back home after his shift patrolling.

“Hi honey, I’m just doing dishes. I was thinking maybe we could spend a little time together before Joel gets home; I’m pretty sure I’m ovulating, this is gonna be our month. I can feel it.” You giggled, wiping your hands on a dish towel as you walked through the kitchen, you stopped dead in your tracks when you were greeted with the sight of a sweaty Joel.

He looked at you with a raised brow before he kicked his boots off.

“Well, there’s an offer.” He laughed dryly, his lustful eyes drinking in your body.

You pulled your arms around yourself awkwardly and cleared your throat.

“I obviously thought you were Tommy.” You huffed.

“Obviously.” He smirked. “‘M gonna go take a shower and head out for the evening anyway.” He shrugged and with that, he stomped up the creaking staircase to the bathroom.

You rolled your eyes as Joel disappeared upstairs. You and Tommy had been trying for a baby for a few months now, you knew it was relatively soon into your relationship but when the world made no sense anymore, this made perfect sense to you both. You loved him so much and he loved you just the same, it made sense that you wanted to create your own little bundle of joy to share your love with.

You finished up the dishes and wandered upstairs to lie down for a while and wait for Tommy to return home. You passed by the unoccupied bathroom and found yourself standing outside of Joel’s bedroom, you lingered by it for a second; you were unsure what you were waiting for but you couldn’t seem to pull yourself away from the spot.

His door was cracked open and something inside of you told you to look in. You sucked in a deep breath and your hands shook by your sides as you watched on. Joel’s back was turned to you, he was naked and although you couldn’t see his front, you knew what he was doing; his shoulder jerked rhythmically and you could hear his soft grunts as his arm sped up. You swallowed down the gasp you were holding in, you knew you should turn away and leave him in peace but you couldn’t help but continue to stare on.

Your heartbeat threatened to burst right out of your chest, you could feel your blood thrumming through your veins as adrenaline coursed through every inch of you.

Joel grunted softly as he fucked his fist, he knew he was close to cumming and he tried to stay quiet but he couldn’t. He groaned out and then it happened, your name came rumbling out of his mouth like a forbidden curse.

You went to walk away but the floorboards beneath your feet betrayed you, a loud creak erupted the silence and you stood there like a deer in headlights, your eyes were panicked and wide. Joel turned to face the door; his chest was heaving and you could see him now, his hard cock glistening with beads of precum as his fist held the base. Your mouth fell agape, wrapped around his member was a pair of your panties; it was evident to see, there was no mistaking the stolen garment belonged to you.

Joel smirked at you, his cock jumped with arousal and he continued to stroke himself, only this time, his eyes were locked with yours as you gently nudged the door open a little more. He pumped himself roughly and brought a single finger up to his lips to shush you from speaking before he grunted loudly and spilled his hot seed all over your stolen panties.

You were ripped from your trance when you heard the front door unlock once again, and you knew for sure this time that it was your boyfriend returning home.

You walked away, your cheeks were burning and you felt ashamed. Why? Why did you feel ashamed? Joel was the one who stole your underwear and used it as ammunition to jerk off. It was confusing to you, Joel always seemed so distant with you, so cold and you just assumed he hated you, like he hated most people.

“Hi baby!” You smiled, greeting your boyfriend at the door.

“Hi honey.” He smiled back, he went down to undo his boots but you were on him in a flash.

You pressed his body against the front door roughly and pressed your lips to his to capture him in a deep kiss, your hands snuck under his shirt and started to peel the layer of clothing off of him.

“Hm, what’s got into you?” He chuckled lowly, lifting his arms so you could take his top layers off.

“Ovulating,” you mumbled against his lips, deepening the kiss again as your fingers lightly scratched down his torso. “And you drive me crazy, need you.” You whispered.

You wrapped your hand around his wrist and lead him to your bedroom without further distractions. That night, as Tommy made love to you, you couldn’t help but let your mind wander to the older Miller brother and what you had seen.

—

That eventful day was three weeks ago, since that moment you had noticed the tension between you and Joel had become so thick and unbearable that anytime you shared a space with the male, you struggled to suck in a breath. You felt guilty for having watched him, you felt even guiltier that it made your panties wetter than they had ever gotten with Tommy and that night, you orgasmed to the thought of Joel.

You knew you should have been disgusted and you should have ratted the older male out to his brother but anytime you tried to bring it up, the words died slowly in your mouth and never escaped. You pushed those thoughts deep down and swore to never mention it, you didn’t want to upset Tommy.

Instead, you avoided Joel like the plague, anytime he was coming back from patrols or a shift, you would find any reason possible to leave the room and make yourself busy. Tommy hadn’t really noticed it, you disguised your discomfort well; you would leave to make dinner, to wash dishes or go and see Lara, your friend; it all seemed fairly normal but Joel knew and it only seemed to make him more persistent in his attempts to be in the same room as you.

—

The sun was setting over Jackson, Tommy was on a night patrol, your least favourite and you were at home, alone. Well, besides Joel.

As the evening ticked on; you had done everything you possibly could to avoid the older Miller brother until it was time for you to go to sleep, or at least retire to your bedroom for the evening.

You had scrubbed the kitchen clean, made food for when Tommy would come in during the early hours of the next morning, scrubbed his work clothes clean and hung them up in the kitchen to dry in front of the stove.

You had a brief shower and finally, you were able to sink into the warm comfort of your bed. Your door was pushed to, barely left open by a crack and you let your eyes drift closed, patiently waiting for sleep to overcome you.

Time seemed to move impossibly slow, it felt like you had been laid there for hours, waiting for sleep to take you but no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t get comfy, you couldn’t get your temperature right and sleep didn’t feel like it was ever going to happen for you.

You huffed loudly and threw the covers off of you, letting your arms drop either side of you in frustration as he huffed again before your mind started to wander.

Soon, before you could stop it, thoughts of Joel fucking his fist were filling your mind and you felt yourself get slicker. You chewed on your bottom lip as you contemplated your next moves; Tommy wasn’t going to be home for hours to satisfy you and sometimes you did fall asleep quickly after masturbating. It didn’t help that you were ovulating again, which meant you were more horny than normal.

You let you fingers slide under Tommy’s oversized t-shirt just so they could trail over your panties; you shivered at your own touch and without any more messing around, you dipped your fingers between your wet folds and started to circle your swollen clit. The immediate relief was like a wave crashing over you intensely and you gasped as your back arched up when your fingers sped up.

—

Joel heard your bed creak, the problem with these houses in Jackson is that they were old and poorly made; the walls were thin and the floorboards creaked, not to mention a lot of the handcrafted furniture or hand-me-down’s.

He crept out of his own room to check if you were okay, he reached yours and Tommy’s bedroom door and through the crack, he could see your body glowing in the low light of the moon seeping through the threadbare curtains.

There you were, arching up and he could see your nimble fingers pleasuring yourself. It was his own perfect picture of sin waiting for him to take.

Joel couldn’t help the way his cock twitched with interest in his jeans; you were everything he wanted but couldn’t take. Ever since he laid eyes on you, the first day you arrived in Jackson, he knew he had to have you and since then, his dark obsession only grew.

And the fact you were with his brother? It only drove him madder and made him want you even more.

—

“Oh, yeah, fuck. Just like that, daddy.” You whimpered quietly as your fingers dipped lower to sink into your hole.

You had never once called Tommy daddy, it was a nickname you had reserved for Joel in the darkest, deepest and dirtiest depths of your mind. That small, reserved section of your mind that Joel took up; even when Tommy would be fucking you, you felt your mind drift off to thoughts of him. Thoughts of his thick cock. His hot ropes of cum on your soiled panties. The way he locked eyes with you and didn’t think to stop.

You felt the heat of shame swallow your body as your eyes screwed tightly shut, little flecks of white danced behind your eyelids as you came around your fingers; your mouth agape with pleasure.

“Dirty fuckin’ girl.” Joel muttered, pushing your door open further and stepping into the dark room.

“What the fuck!?” You screeched as you pulled your fingers from your panties and sat bolt upright to see the older Miller smirking at you.

“My brother know you’re at home fucking yourself? Or is he not doing a good enough job and you’ve gotta satisfy yourself?” He cooed, stepping closer to your bed until he perched at the foot and stroked his hand up your foot.

You kicked his hand away and folded your arms across the old fabric of Tommy’s t-shirt, trying to hide your hardened nipples.

“I’m gonna say this one time, and one time only… fuck off, Joel. I’m with Tommy. End of. I love him. I don’t want you.” You all but spat, your voice sounding like pure venom as you spoke.

“Oh. Feisty little girl. My brother got a fiery one. Good for him.” He smirked, his hand stroking further up your leg with each word.

His hand finally reached your upper thigh and the breath in your throat caught shakily; you felt like you suddenly couldn’t breathe and every touch of his finger tips felt like multiple electric shocks to you.

“Joel.” You warned. “I-I- I’m with Tommy, you need to l-leave?” Your voice was shaky, even with all good intentions you couldn’t help the way it sounded more like a question than a statement.

“Hm?” He purred, his brow quirked as he pushed your thighs apart; he could see your inner thighs glistening in the cool glow from the moonlight, your arousal making your skin sticky. “Fuck.” He groaned. “So wet, this all for my brother? Hm?”

“Y-yes. Of course, who else would it be for?” You blushed.

“I heard you call out daddy, you callin’ Tommy that? Something he don’t know yet? He gon’ finally be a daddy?” Joel’s fingers stroked so gently over your panties you weren’t even sure that he was actually touching you, yet you couldn’t stop yourself from shuddering.

“No. No. He’s not — I mean, we’re not.” You mumbled, your breath shaking as you watching Joel’s dark eyes rake over you. Your arms were back by your sides and your fingers were clutching at the sheets below you.

“That’s a shame.” He tutted, pressing one of his digits hard against the damp fabric of your panties. “You would look so sexy, all round and full. Fuck, you deserve to be bred the way you deserve.”

“Joel —“ you breathed, your eyes fluttering shut as his finger pressed against your sensitive clit. “We shouldn’t. I mean, we- we can’t, I’m with Tommy. Please don’t make this harder for me.”

“Come on baby girl, let me show you just how much better I am than Tommy. How much better I could be for you. Better lover, better daddy.”

You gasped at his words, they had such a visceral effect on you; it was instantaneous, with each word you felt yourself practically dripping for him.

“Fuck. Come here.” You whimpered, leaning forward to grab Joel’s shirt to crash your lips together.

It was an aggressive clash of lips, teeth and tongues; within seconds, Joel’s tongue found its way into your mouth and was kissing you in a way you could have only dreamt of with Tommy.

Joel’s hand found its way to your jawline and he gripped it tightly as he climbed onto the bed to lay next to you. His other hand found its way under your shirt to grope at your breasts.

Everything felt so familiar yet entirely different; Joel’s hands were larger, they were rougher and more calloused than Tommy’s. His touches felt more aggressive, more lustful and you couldn’t deny the way it drove you mad.

Joel’s facial hair scratched at the soft skin of your face, again, in a way that was entirely different to Tommy; it was hotter, it was forbidden.

“Waited to kiss you like this since day one. Fuck, you feel so good under me.” Joel groaned against your lips as his fingers toyed with the hardened buds of your nipples.

You arched up to his rough fingers and instinctively spread your legs further for him, all shame seemed to dissipate with every grope from the older man.

“Fuck, I need more. Please.” You whimpered.

Joel took the hint quickly, he kissed down your neck and trailed his fingers down your sternum before he finally reached the waistband of your panties. Joel breathed deeply as his fingers finally dipped into the damp fabric, he didn’t mess around and immediately, his fingers found your clit without any fumbling around.

Your eyes widened at Joel and he just smirked as he circled it expertly with his thick fingers. He ducked his head down and kissed you once more, his teeth nipped at your bottom lip as you whimpered underneath him.

“Fuck.” You whined pathetically under Joel. “Fuck, daddy. Fuck.”

The words spilled from your mouth, they were smothered against Joel’s mouth but he still heard them and he smirked once more.

“Fuckin’ knew you thought about me. Filthy little girl, aren’t you? Look at you, all whored out and for who? Your boyfriend’s brother. Filthy little slut.” Joel cooed with deep condescension.

You whimpered again, it was all you trusted yourself to do; you knew if you tried to talk, your words would die in your throat and would fail you immensely.

“Take that top off. Need to see your beautiful tits again, fuck. Think about them all the time. I watch you, y’know.” Joel whispered into your ear. “I watch you when you’re showering, watch the way you soap up your tits. Fuck have cum over that image so many times.” Joel admitted.

You gasped at his confession, you knew you should have been disgusted by his words, by his actions but it only seemed to grow your attraction, your arousal for him further.

You quickly sat up, legs still spread for Joel and whipped the T-shirt over your head; your tits bounced gently as you laid back down and Joel let out a near animalistic growl at the sight of you below him.

“Need to taste your pussy. Fuck. Need to so bad. Can’t stop myself now.” He smirked and without another word, he was removing your panties and positioning his head between your messy thighs.

He used his thumb and finger to spread the glistening pink of your pussy before he licked a fat stripe up through your folds, collecting your arousal on his tongue. He did it a couple of times before bringing his head back up to you.

“Open.” He hissed at you.

There was a momentary second of confusion before you obediently opened your mouth for Joel, your tongue hanging out in anticipation. Joel spat into your mouth slowly, a fat line of your arousal and Joel’s spit landed on your tongue and you swallowed it back eagerly.

It was filthy; it was pure debauchery and you honestly thought you might have died and gone to heaven right there.

“Oh fuck, that’s it. Such a good girl.” He praised and dipped his head down to suck your clit into his mouth.

He suckled at the nub gently, the pressure sending thousands of shockwaves through your body at once. You shuddered with the pleasure and a soft whine fell from your lips. Joel’s nose nudged at your mound as his tongue flicked over your clit before he circled it and then went back to sucking at it; he repeated these motions in consecutive moments but would switch up what he would do next. Just to keep you on your toes.

“Fuck. Daddy. I’m gonna cum.” You cried, tears pricking at your eyes from pure pleasure.

Never had Tommy made you feel like this; your body was on fire, your skin was flushed and a slick layer of sweat settled all over your body.

“Good girl. Cum for me. Fuckin’ soak my face. That’s it. Atta girl.” Joel praised between his pleasuring movements of his tongue. “Call me daddy again, driving me mad.” He hissed, spitting onto your clit before licking it back up with a flicking motion of his tongue.

“Daddy!” You whined, your back arching off the bed like a possessed woman. “Oh my god!” You whined, the noise getting caught in your throat as your orgasm ripped through your entire body.

You peered down as Joel licked you through your orgasm and you noticed the way his hips were grinding against the bed. This man was going to kill you off. He was so turned on by eating you out that he felt the need to hump at the bed like a horny mutt.

“Jesus Christ.” You whimpered as Joel dragged a slow finger through your folds just to place a playful slap to your exposed pussy.

“I prefer daddy.” Joel smirked, sitting back to remove his shirt and unbuckle his jeans. “How do you wanna take me, my good girl?”

Your head was swimming, it span with pleasure and you could barely think straight for more than two seconds.

“I — um, you choose.” You whispered.

“On all fours then, I know that’s how you like it the best. You always seem to cum the hardest when he fucks you like that.” Joel grinned, removing his clothes and standing at the edge of the bed, giving his thick cock a few testing strokes.

You swallowed roughly, feeling as if there were razor blades sliding down. “You… you, you watched us fuck?” You asked dumbfounded, the words sounded bizarre as they bounced around the room.

“Course I have, darlin’. Told you. I wanted you the moment I saw you. Just ‘cause you ain’t mine officially doesn’t mean I was gonna stop wanting you.” He spoke so calmly, like it was a totally normal thing to say. “And for the record, I know you ain’t ever cum that hard with Tommy, now you’ve got me thinking you fake it with him.”

“I do not.” You protested, your voice not convincing even to yourself.

Joel raised a brow at you in question, his lips turned up at the corner with an air of a smirk.

“Fine. Fucking fine. I’ve faked it a few times.” You admittedly quietly.

“Atta girl, ain’t so hard to tell the truth now, is it?” He said smugly. “Now, get on your hands and knees, show me that pretty cunt before I destroy it. Good girls get rewarded and you’ve been real good for me, sweetheart.”

Silently, you positioned yourself for Joel; still unsure of why you were doing this; why you were potentially throwing away your great relationship and for what? A couple good orgasms. You were fucked.

Joel tapped the thick head of his cock against your entrance and instinctively, you tried to push back onto him.

“Tsk tsk tsk.” Joel cooed, slapping your clit with his hardened cock. “Not until I say so, baby girl. I’m in charge, I decide when you deserve my cock. Not sure you’re even gonna be able to take me. You look so tight and perfect.”

“Fuck, you’re such an ass. Such a tease. Please, I need it, Joel.” You whined petulantly.

“Try again, sweetheart. Who am I?”

“Daddy.” You whispered.

“And what do you want?” He beamed smugly.

“Your cock, please, daddy. I want your cock so bad. Please.” You mewled.

“Good.” Joel praised, he pressed his cock into your tight heat, so slowly that you felt every inch of the delicious stretch. “Good girl.” He sighed as he bottomed out in you.

Under Joel, your fingers grasped at the sheets and your knuckles turned pale under the intense grip you had on them. He was big. Not just in length but he was girthy, thicker than Tommy was and you knew going forward, he wouldn’t be able to satisfy you in this way.

“You’re so fuckin’ tight. Clearly not been fucked in the proper way, so wet and tight for me.” Joel groaned, drawing his hips back slowly before thrusting forward slowly once again so you could feel every inch of him; every notch and vein of him.

You nodded under him, your words failing you once again as pleasure swamped your body like an infection; it took over every one of your senses.

Joel’s fingers gripped tightly at your soft hips as he built a steady rhythm, with each thrust you could feel his cock head nudge at the spongy bundle of nerves deep inside of yourself. It was heady and intense, your fingers tingled as Joel fucked you roughly.

His soft, slow thrusts from the start were long gone; he held you tighter as his hips snapped forward with force and pure fervour.

“Daddy. Feels so good.” You whimpered under him, your tights swaying back and forth as he fucked you. “Want you to fill me up. Breed me, please. Fuck.” You pleaded.

Joel couldn’t help the groan that rumbled from deep in his throat, it was a deep and masculine noise that shocked you.

“Hm, want me to give you that baby you want so bad?” Joel asked, landing a harsh spank to your doughy ass cheek. “Want to feel my cum leaking out of you as you try to sleep? Hm? Want my cum to stick to your inner thighs ready for when Tommy’s home?” He spanked you again as he spoke and you nodded eagerly at him. “Bet you would, little fucking whore.”

“I am. I’m a filthy little whore. All for you though, daddy. Not for him.”

Joel buried his cock deep into you and snaked his hand around to your mouth.

“Spit on them, slut.” He instructed abruptly.

You collected some spit on your tongue before you spat onto Joel’s digits, ignoring the way it dripped onto the sheets below you.

He took his spit-slicked fingers and placed them on the swollen nub of your clit, you gasped at the contact and Joel circled it perfect, the spit and your arousal making it easy for him to pass his fingers directly over the sensitive bundle.

“I bet Tommy wouldn’t even be surprised if he came home and found some other man’s cum making you all messy and sticky; he knows you’re a filthy little whore, perfect little sinner.” He groaned, his fingers working faster to bring you closer to your orgasm.

“I’m gonna cum again, Joel.” You whispered, his name falling off your lips with ease, like you said it all the time.

“Sound so sexy when you say my name.” He cooed. “You want to cum on my cock? Hm? Wanna cum on it whilst I fill you with my hot seed. God, wanna breed this little cunt so bad. So hot and tight. Hope I get you pregnant.” He growled.

Joel’s words, his fingers and his cock all worked in perfect unison to push you off the edge and fall into your second, intense orgasm; your head lulled forward into the crook of your elbow as you clenched around Joel’s still cock. You felt so full, so deliciously full and you wanted to stay like this forever.

“Good girl. Now let me cum in this little cunt. You ready for that?” He asked softly, brushing some hair away from your shoulder before he placed a soft, tender kiss to the skin of your back.

It was a stark contrast to the way he had just been treating you and it made your stomach flutter with adoration for the older male.

You nodded, it was all Joel needed and he went back to gripping your hips with an intense tightness. He pulled his cock all the way out before he snapped forward again; his thrusts were rough and short, you could tell he was just rutting himself to his own greedy high. All you could do was whimper and moan underneath him, taking everything he had to offer.

“I know baby. I know. It’s okay. Almost there. Such a good girl.” Joel mumbled, his thumbs smoothing over your skin as he fucked into you feverishly.

You whined under the male as his hips stalled and stuttered, and then, suddenly you felt the hot ropes of his cum coat your insides. Joel’s thick cock twitched inside of you and for a second, you felt even fuller than before as his seed filled you.

Joel stayed like that for a second, only moving his hips with slow, sloppy thrusts; the obscene squelching noises of your arousals filled the silent room and you whimpered pathetically.

He slowly pulled out of you with a hiss, his cock fell and he collapsed onto the bed. You winced as you moved to lay next to the male, you knew you were going to be feeling sore for the next couple of days but you liked it, it would serve as a real reminder than this actually happened and wasn’t the result of a heavy night of drinking or a weird fever dream.

“Fuck.” You muttered, leaning up on your elbows to suck in a few deep and shaky breaths. “What the fuck have I done? What the fuck did you do?” You hissed, collapsing back onto the bed with a soft sob; the lust clearing from the room as the grim reality settled around you.

“Gave you what you’ve been wanting, sweetheart. It’s okay.” Joel offered up softly.

“Joel…” you whispered. “I’m - I’m ovulating and you just came right inside of me. Oh my fucking god. I’m dead. Tommy is gonna kill me. Tommy is gonna kill you.”

“Tommy won’t know. Just make sure you have sex with him in the next couple of days and you’ll be golden. And well, if it happens. It happens. Uncle Joel at your service. If it doesn’t, we’ll try again next month.” He teased, with his forearm draped over his eyes.

“You’re not fucking funny.” You yelled. “Get out Joel, you’re fucked in the head. Get out.” You screamed, slapping his side and pushing the male off the bed.

He got off the bed and held his arms up in surrender.

“Okay, chill out. I’m gone. Tommy won’t know, I won’t say a word. And when you want this to happen again, you say the words and I’ll be right here for you, sweetheart.” He smirked as he bunched his clothes up into his arms.

He picked up your discarded panties and left the room without another word.

You wrapped the duvet around your naked body and sobbed quietly to yourself; this whole situation was about to get real fucking messy. You laid there, tears staining your cheeks as you prayed that it wouldn’t happen as different scenarios played out in your mind like a horror movie.

You weren’t sure when you fell asleep but you awoke to the mattress dipping next to you and Tommy placed a kiss to your shoulder and stroked your side.

“Hello baby,” he whispered, snuggling up behind you. “Smells like sex in here.” He said, with a soft chuckle.

“That was me…” you muttered, still not daring to look your boyfriend in the eyes. “Got so damn horny I had to touch myself, I couldn’t wait for you to get home.” You lied and closed your eyes.

“Now as exciting as that sounds, I’m so tired I don’t think I could even get it up if I tried. Tomorrow? I promise.” He laughed, kissing your shoulder again before he turned his back to you and fell asleep.

You laid there for hours, watching your peaceful boyfriend sleeping; letting the guilt nibble away at every piece of you before you saw Joel leave for the morning patrols. He walked past your bedroom door, he lingered for a few seconds, looked at you with a smirk before he raised a finger to his lips in a shushing motion and winked at you.

You bit on your bottom and squeezed your legs together; it shouldn’t turn you on but still, here you were, laid in bed with his brother as your core throbbed for Joel Miller.

#tommy miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel x reader #dark!joel miller #pedro pascal #joel miller #tommy miller x reader

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aviiarie · 7 months ago

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˚ ₊ ‧ ♡ HAUNTED HOUSE — feat. lyney event masterlist.

synopsis. your new house is a bit strange. doors keep slamming, there's whispering in your ears, and you have the distinct feeling you're unwelcome here. warnings. none (?) notes. requested by anon. ghost!lyney au. gn!reader. 2.2k words. IM SORRY THIS IS LATE. i was busy and forgot :((

“Four bedrooms, two bathrooms—not including an ensuite in the master bedroom—and a very large garden. There’s a lake towards the south of the property, and it is within walking distance of the local town.” The real estate agent flashed you a dazzling smile. “This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Houses of this quality aren’t typically offered at this price.”

You looked around, admiring the delicate architecture. The paint might have been peeling in some places, but the arched windows and carved pillars gave the place a timeless and elegant atmosphere. With a little fixing, the house would return to its former glory in no time.

“Why is it priced so low, then?”

“While it is still in good condition, the house will require a lot of upkeep. There are renovations and repairs that need to be done, but nothing that isn’t salvageable.” The woman explained.

The reasoning wasn’t unplausible, but it still didn’t sit quite right with you.

“Is there not any other reason?” You pressed further. “You told me there weren’t any other buyers lined up. Why is that?”

Her smile dropped minutely, and her hands clutched her clipboard tighter. “I-I suppose that would be the fault of its… um, reputation.”

“Reputation?” You frowned.

“Oh, just silly rumours. It’s nothing to be concerned about, but the townsfolk are a superstitious lot.” She replaced her smile, gesturing to the front door. “Shall we look at the interior now?”

-----

It wasn’t a difficult decision to make. She was right, it was an unmissable opportunity; there wasn’t a chance that you were going to find a house as nice as this one on a budget as tight as yours.

You moved in over the weekend, settling all of your belongings in the spacious, already furnished rooms. The inside of the house was just as pleasant as the exterior, filled with expensive-looking furniture covered with dusty sheets, and hanging chandeliers that cast a warm glow over every room. Even the gardens, covered in dead leaves and debris, were oddly quaint.

It was perfect, almost too perfect.

“Mail… got to check the mail…” You muttered, fumbling for the key to the mailbox. It was your third day, and you had already almost fully settled in. Most of your possessions were out of their boxes, and almost all of the rooms had been cleaned and dusted.

When you opened your door, there was a woman stood on your porch, staring up at the house with a melancholic expression. She looked much older than you—in her fifties, perhaps—with ash-blonde hair streaked with gray, violet eyes and pale, wrinkled skin. On her left cheek was a faint, star-shaped mark, like a tattoo that had long-since faded.

“So, it’s true…” The woman murmured, eyeing you up and down. “They finally sold the place…”

“Can I help you?” You asked hesitantly. She stared at you for a long time, before shaking her head.

“No… just reminiscing.” She straightened up, pulling her cardigan tighter around herself. “Good luck. He is fickle, but not unreasonable. I hope for your sake you are able to reason with him.”

Bewildered, you watched as she shuffled back down the street into the direction of the town. Her words made no sense, but her tone was enough to make you uneasy. The way she spoke of a ‘him’ made it sound like there was someone for you to be wary of, a hidden face to fear.

When you made it to the mailbox, it took a few turns of the key for the lock to click open. You peered through the slot, fishing out a flyer, two letters, and a folded piece of paper shoved into the corner of the box. The flyer was a promotion for a new pizza shop downtown, the letters were both bills, but the last item caught your attention most of all.

Tucking the others under your arm, you unfolded the note. The paper was fragile, almost crumbling under your fingers, but you managed to pull it open anyway to reveal an old advertisement that looked to be cut out of a newspaper.

Lyney & Lynette’s Magic Show. The title was printed above a cartoon drawing of two magicians, with one holding a large top hat and the other pulling a rabbit out of it. At the bottom, in much smaller text, was the date of the performance: February 2nd, 1985.

Despite being decades old, the advertisement was still intact and fully readable, even if the colours were slightly faded. And yet, as you moved your hand, you noticed a smudge of black on your fingers.

You flipped the paper. On the back there was a simple message, scrawled in fresh black ink: GET OUT OF MY HOUSE.

-----

The note should have been your first sign to leave, you didn’t pay it much mind. Instead, you crumpled the paper up and threw it in the garbage bin outside, chalking it up to some kid trying to play a trick on their new neighbour.

You had more important matters to concern yourself with, namely the attic that you had yet to clean. It was filled from top to bottom with enough dust to make you cough and splutter as soon as you opened the trapdoor. Still, you pushed forward, covering your mouth with a cloth as you cleaned away the dusty furniture and boxes that were stacked along the side.

Leaning against the attic window was what looked like a frame, half-covered in another white cloth. With a gentle tug, the fabric was pulled free to reveal an oil painting, depicting a family portrait. There were four figures, a tall woman with white hair and sharp eyes, a young boy with a blonde bob and grave expression, and a pair of slightly older children with matching ash-blonde hair.

The dust covering the frame was twice as thick as the rest of the attic, as if the painting hadn’t been touched in decades. With the fabric shielding the family from view, it was as if whoever lived in the house previously had hidden them away, out of sight.

Absently, you stretched out a hand, intending on wiping away some of the dust with your fingertips.

Crack.

The sudden noise made you jump, pulling your hand back to your chest. With a pounding heart, you looked over to where a floor-length mirror, one that was leaned against the wall only five minutes prior, had fallen onto the floor and shattered to pieces.

“No!” You hissed, leaping to your feet. You hurried down the ladder to grab a garbage bag and broom from the kitchen, returning to sweep up the broken glass and quickly dispose of it.

In your rush, you never noticed that the oil painting had been covered up with a cloth once more.

-----

After that, the strangeness kept adding up.

Doors slammed at random times of the day, glasses shattered in your hands before you could take a sip of your water, whispers sounded from the corner of your room in the middle of the night. You couldn’t keep telling yourself you were overthinking things, not when the signs were so clear.

Whatever apparition was haunting your house, you could sense how unwelcoming it was to your presence. There was an anger that hung in the air, as if it resented you for simply being there. It didn’t seem as though it was trying to harm you—not directly, at least—but it was clear that it was hell-bent on driving you out. When scaring you didn’t work, it seemed to redirect its strategy to irritating you instead.

One morning, you woke up to find all your left socks missing. With a scowl, you put on a mismatched pair and walked to the store to buy several new pairs.

The next day, all of the furniture in the living room had mysteriously moved to the bathroom, including the television. Unfazed, you simply curled up on the armchair and watched your favourite show right there.

That same night, you stumbled out of your room to pour yourself a glass of water, only to realize that the cups and glasses were stacked on top of the refrigerator. You didn’t even bother to drag a chair over to retrieve them, you just found a decorative teacup out of the display cabinet, and sipped your water out of that.

It was persistent, but unlucky for it, you were stubborn. This was your house now, and you weren’t going to let some ghost scare you off.

The final straw came when you were relaxing by the fire, reading a book. It was a long day at your new job, and coming home to a warm house was a dream come true. But you had barely opened up your book when all of the lights above you flicked off, and the fireplace was suddenly snuffed out.

The room was plunged into a thick darkness, and your precious warmth was stolen away, making you shiver. Something inside you snapped, and the annoyance you’d built up over the past month finally made you crack.

“That’s it!” You shut your book with a click, slamming it down on the table.

You stood, scanning the darkened room. The shadows of the furniture loomed across the walls, twisting into ominous shapes by the moonlight spilling through the blinds. “I know for a fact you’re here, so listen. I don’t care what vendetta you have against me, but this needs to stop. I’m not going anywhere, this is my house now.”

There was long pause, before you spoke again. “You can hate me as much as you want, but I am not going to let you push me around.”

You glance around, waiting for some shift in the shadows, some sign that the spectre was hearing what you were saying. “Am I clear?”

The room fell into quiet again. It stretched on for what felt like hours, leaving you wondering if there truly wasn’t anything there at all, and whether it was just your paranoia getting to you again. The air was thick and tense, the only sound being the distant ticking of a clock from another room.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Finally, a voice cut through the silence. “…It is my house, actually.”

Your head snapped to the side, finding the faint, flickering image of a man sitting on the side of the couch with his arms crossed. He looked young, in his early twenties at the oldest, and was dressed in some sort of stage costume. On his cheek was a small teardrop marking, standing out against his pale face.

“Who are you?” You blurted out before you could stop yourself.

“Should I not be asking you that question?” The man raised an eyebrow, annoyance etched across his expression. “Considering you are the one who is trespassing on my property?”

“It’s not your property if you’re dead.” You said bluntly, internally wincing at how insensitive it sounded. Still, knowing how much he had put you through halted any pity you felt for him. “I bought this house, therefore it's mine.”

“It is mine.” His eyes narrowed. “I lived here for years. If it is not mine, it is my brother’s or my sister’s. You are neither of those people, so you are not welcome here.”

“Clearly neither of them want it, or else they’d already be here.” You countered. “I’m living here now. You’re going to have to get used to it.”

He glared at you. The edges of his image blurred and wavered, becoming indistinct. “That’s easy for you to say. Do you know how frustrating it is, having a stranger barge into your home? Having them rearrange your furniture, disturb your belongings? Sure, I’ll get used to you sifting through my family’s heirlooms and tossing them aside like they’re nothing. I’ll get used to it all.”

The anger in his voice didn't hide the trace of pain behind his words. He was clearly just frustrated, and you couldn't exactly blame him.

“Look, I’m sorry,” You sighed, shoulders slumping. “I know… I know it must be hard for you. And...”

You chew the inside of your cheek in thought, looking away from him to observe the empty fireplace. There were still embers flickering at the bottom, even after the flames had been extinguished.

“We don’t have to be friends,” You turned back to him, smiling hesitantly. “How about you consider me your… roommate?”

The man stared at you unblinkingly. The proposition looked like it offended him just as much as the idea of giving up his house did, but there was something else that you couldn't quite figure out in his expression.

Was it... loneliness?

It made sense, in a way. Being trapped for however long since he'd died, without another soul to accompany him, loneliness was inevitable. You could only imagine how he felt, holing himself up in his house and lashing out at anyone who dared to disturb him. Even with the anger clouding his face, there was still a longing in his gaze at your proposal.

“A fresh start then.” He broke out into a sharp, painfully fake smile, and held out his hand in offering. “My name is Lyney. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

🏷️ taglist: @tragedy-of-commons, @mollzaj, @wystiix, @mikashisus.

#☆ — ghost stories.#✒️ : avie's writing . ⊹ ˚ .#—stellaronhvnters.#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin lyney x reader #lyney x reader #platonic lyney x reader #platonic genshin x reader #platonic genshin impact x reader

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